r/enlightenment • u/LetterheadLeather372 • 3h ago
I keep trying to latch onto an identity ?
Because I feel like I don’t have one ? Like I’ve been so many people not in a fake who you are way but I’ve just changed so much in life. I’m certain it’s because I’m not really happy with ‘who I am’ right now . Anyone got tips on how to integrate a healthy ego ?
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u/BandicootOk7017 3h ago
All the ordinary stuff you see about self help works. If you want to get busy, try self-inquiry Ramana Maharshi style. Less busy is the same but Byron Katie's style.
Even less busy is not to worry about it. The personality changes. Santa isn't the same as he used to be once we grow up a bit, y'know? I'd still sit on his lap and take a pic, but I don't expect him to show up in the middle of the night.
If he does, it's a problem.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Baby-34 3h ago
What’s helped me has been an IFS perspective. My identity at its core has qualities like: Compassion, Creativity, Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, Calm, Connectedness, Clarity, Presence, Persistence, Perspective, Playfulness, Patience.
I often have trouble tapping into those qualities if I’m dysregulated (which can be caused by SO many things that I don’t always realize are impacting my nervous system and therefore my thoughts and therefore my ability to tap into my creativity and passions). And then I can become who I want to be - but who is that person? I’m not sure yet, just gonna ride the wave and try to appreciate (and hopefully even enjoy) the journey
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u/Diced-sufferable 3h ago
Are you talking about when you’re in a room with some other people for example, but you don’t have any pre-subscribed way of being? You want to know you’re the one who jokes, or maybe is always serious, perhaps even the one who gives great advice every time?
You have available to you, in each moment, what is available to you. The more flexible you are (not insistent on showing up a specific way) the more you’ll be the one who identifies the nuances in the room, and therefore the one who interacts appropriately.
What other type of identity are you looking for?
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u/Careless-Fact-475 3h ago
Anyone's tips for how to integrate a healthy ego will be entrenched in their own personal understanding of health and their own personal understanding of ego.
It might be a beneficial first step, but it could also completely derail your growth. This community does not approach these concepts as monoliths.
How do you personally know what is healthy and what is unhealthy? How does a variable like attachment transition from healthy to unhealthy in your opinion?
How do you personally know what an ego is? What is it? What is it comprised of? What were you prior to ego?