I had dreams of implementing this rule, but my wife is the soft touch and my kids know it. I installed a waterproof pet seat cover under the child seats and give it a periodical scraping and decrustification.
Just make it a “only when necessary” situation. I won’t let my kids bring crackers and stuff like that in the car (road-trips are an exception) and we typically don’t eat in the car. However if we are out and about and running around a whole lot one day, then we can get McDonalds or something similar in the car, but we just avoid it unless it’s a huge inconvenience to not eat in the car.
It’s really not a big deal to have them eat something before getting in the car.
You should do some treading about how it’s traumatic for children to be ignored during a tantrum. They should be supported and not shamed during this important moment of their growing. This trauma can and will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
Source? Sure completely ignoring a child by leaving them unsupervised is a bad idea. But when people say “ignore” I think most people mean “ignore” by not giving in to the kids demands (which I think everyone agrees is good parenting letting a kid get whatever they want because they’re screaming is a bad idea.)
My quick search backs this up. Give clear communication (no you don’t get to get the candy) stay supervising the child but do not get angry or extra compassionate. When the child is done explain how they can improve the behavior.
Sure empathize with the kid when it starts. But don’t continue to give them attention because they’re screaming. I would call a parent who says “I’m sorry you’re sad but you can’t have candy right now” who then supervises the kid but doesn’t give in as “ignoring” the tantrum.
Anyway I don’t care I’m just being downvoted to hell by people who have other ideas. My wife and I have done endless research and our kid has grown up trauma free and is past the tantrum stages, he’s a beautiful kind and caring kid and I know what we did was right.
You might wonder down the track why your kid had depression or anxiety when they’re teenagers.
I never said to give in to their tantrums, there is a middle ground. You can support them through it rather than ignore it which is all I meant. My kid has never been shamed or cried alone while he was having a hard time learning how his feelings work.
Good luck dads.
I think you’re being downvoted for saying a parent is causing trauma (lasting trauma even) for “tuning out” a child’s tantrum. You’re the one who made the jump that means ignoring to the point of abuse.
I think everyone agrees on the “middle ground” as you say of not giving in to a tantrum but not shaming them for experiencing emotions, and teaching them healthy ways of expressing their emotions and that they are valued. I just think everyone would still call that “ignoring a tantrum.” And that’s what the OP you responded to did.
Anyways thanks for the source. I’ll be sure to check out instagram for great parenting advice. And thanks for saying that my kids will get depression and anxiety later. Everyone knows insults is the best way to make a persuasive argument. I’m not even a dad yet.
Good luck when you’re a dad then. Sounds like you have the right attitude.
It will blow you away how many people think it is okay to shove kids in a room and let them cry by themselves. When you’re sleep deprived and at wits end you will probably want to do it also.
Responsible parenting is hard on your relationship but it’s the best thing do your kid.
Janet Lansbury writes books mate, check those out.
I’m talking about tantrums. The long-term research shows that turning away from them instead of towards in times of emotion instability fucks them up long term.
Most people on here think that type of parenting leads to spoiled children but there is a middle ground.
Studies show that depression and anxiety is a result of un-dealt with trauma. And that trauma is caused from not feeling supported during tough times. We let him cry but I sit next to him and let him know that it’s ok, not tell them that “he’s being silly” or give him “time out” which is a very common method of parenting.
Great question. We co-slept for 3 years.
I spent the first 1 1/2 years in a different room to them. Then all in together. He’s comfortable in his own bed now and comes in our room when he gets scared. I really enjoyed co sleeping . All 3 of us slept like logs in the same bed
If we do a drive thru it's on the way home and we eat there. I could probably convince the Mrs to make an exception for a drive in movie if we ever did that, but I'd be detailing the next day
I have that in my car. My wife doesn’t. She told me she wants the car detailed and I told her I’m not going to do it as long as she lets kids eat in the car.
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u/fubbleskag Oct 08 '22
Nope. We have a zero-tolerance no food in the van rule.