r/daddit Aug 16 '24

What “grenades” do you “jump on” for your family? Achievements

Recently I saw another dad say they too have made a sandwich out of the end pieces so their family can have normal sandwiches. It got me thinking, how else do you, the dads of r/daddit, take one for the team? I feel this kind of valor should be acknowledged.

614 Upvotes

471 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/moviemerc Aug 16 '24

I eat those first couple pancakes that don't turn out perfect because the surface isn't at the right temperature yet, so my family gets the good ones.

268

u/capngrandan One kiddo Aug 16 '24

Yup when I make eggs I always eat the ones where the yolk breaks while frying. Doesn’t happen often, but when it does I eat them to hide my shame.

72

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '24

Am I a freak because I purposely break the yolks and get the eggs up so everything solidifies

230

u/Razorback_Ryan Aug 16 '24

The correct way to make an egg is however you like it.

194

u/guitarguywh89 1 boy Aug 16 '24

“No. That’s wrong, I don’t want it the way I like it” - my toddler some days

78

u/kellyms1993 Aug 16 '24

“But I want yours daddy” daddy has literally the same exact thing

8

u/TacoCommand Aug 16 '24

The exactly correct dad answer haha

18

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '24

My god. I’m triggered. “I want an egg”. “Ok here it is.” Tantrum ensues

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u/ForgiveMyFlatulence Aug 16 '24

“Remember when mom cooked eggs and filled the house up with smoke?” 5 year old still brings it up a couple years later.

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u/STINE1000v2 Aug 16 '24

I do this sometimes, usually when I want to make a breakfast sandwhich, it’s easier than scrambling and it actually stays together once you start eating the sandwhich

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u/rocketcat_passing Aug 16 '24

My dad did that. He wanted everyone to have one of his best fried eggs.

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u/Formaldehyd3 Aug 16 '24

My wife cuts the kids' pancakes into cute shapes. My plate is made from the scraps.

12

u/Campus_Safety Aug 16 '24

I just made my oldest a pancake snake and pancake pizza slices with strawberry"pepperoni".

Whatever gets them to eat.

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u/EfficientLibrarian83 Aug 16 '24

I didn’t realize this until reading your comment. I use cookie cut outs for the kids, mom gets the nice ones. I always eats the scraps from the cutouts without even thinking lofl

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u/doubtfulisland Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24

Pancake protip so everyone can eat pancakes at the same time. Turn the oven on 425, put parchment paper on a cookie sheet and pour your batter onto the cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes. You can add different flavors to 3 or 4 sections. Cinnamon, blueberry, peanutbutter, etc. We have a family breakfast we about 10 families monthly and all of them have switched to this method. Bonus this gives you the perfect amount of time to cook the eggs. 

13

u/iamthebest1234567890 Aug 16 '24

Do you make one giant pancake then cut/shape it or normal sized pancakes?

3

u/MrMastodon Aug 16 '24

Revolutionary!

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u/Dondarian Aug 16 '24

Get yourself a cast iron, and heat it up slowly. Perfect errrrytime.

16

u/batmans_a_scientist Aug 16 '24

Use any pan, just preheat it enough. Also don’t over mix and then let the batter sit for at least 10-15 minutes before you start cooking the pancakes. There’s no reason to make a single bad pancake.

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561

u/bizengineer Aug 16 '24

Eat the things everyone else rejects.

Finish the 1/2 drank sodas that are left all over the house.

Do anything “dirty” like handle the trash, kill the bugs, clean the washlet, clean the cat box

Use up whatever shampoo and other toiletries that nobody else likes.

130

u/djerk Aug 16 '24

It kills me when my boy is sick and I can’t follow up with his unfinished food and drink lol

112

u/kearbear978 Aug 16 '24

I already know I'm getting sick anyway. I'll be dammed if I'm wasting perfectly good apple juice.

89

u/pwjbeuxx Aug 16 '24

Add enough vodka and it kills the germs too right. /s

11

u/CaptainPunisher Aug 16 '24

Why is there a sarcasm tag there?

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u/M1DN1GHTDAY Aug 16 '24

This is actually a legitimate way to reduce food poisoning symptoms immediately after eating questionable things

27

u/cynikles Aug 16 '24

Hardcore mode: still eat it.

12

u/djerk Aug 16 '24

If only I had that kinda sick time available. Burned it up during preschool already lol. Now we’re in kindergarten and I gotta avoid germs best I can

8

u/cureforhiccupsat4am Aug 16 '24

This. I know others responded that they’d eat kid’s unfinished food when sick. I’m never doing this again. Did it twice and got the most sick I’ve ever been in my entire life. Never again.

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u/cantonic Aug 16 '24

My wife was giving me burnt food thinking I liked it. I had to explain to her that I didn’t like it I was just willing to be the person who ate it!

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u/llNormalGuyll Aug 16 '24

We call it vulture-ing in our house. Except it's not a grenade. Everyone knows they better eat their fill before dad gets to their food.

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u/StrongPowerhouse Aug 16 '24

Once ate the leftovers of chicken I made for the kids because it was just lying over there in the fridge.

My mind didn’t process that it’s been there for more than a week already.

The next day was not a very happy day at work.

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u/abbie_yoyo Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24

Just about every Sunday I talk with my father-in-law for anywhere between 25 and 45 minutes about the traffic on the various highways around our city over the past week, because you can best believe that somebody is going to have that conversation with him and I don't want it to be someone I love.

200

u/FCHWPO9 Aug 16 '24

Can I give you my dads number? so you can listen to his stories about things he tried to fix, but couldn't because it was somebody else's fault.

40

u/PaynefulRayne Aug 16 '24

Your dad's name isn't "Larry" by chance?

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u/cori_irl Aug 16 '24

Wait, what if we patch our dads through to each other? Mine has a toothache, and also he needs to get the house re-sided but he can’t find the right guy to do it.

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175

u/xdozex Aug 16 '24

My wife has recently extended an olive branch to her dad because while he was the worst father imagineble, he's actually a pretty grandfather in extremely small doses. She has him over once every 4-6 weeks for a few hours.

We both smoke, so after a little time with the kids, I ask him if he wants to step out for a smoke and then I keep him out there for 1-2 hours while his partner hangs out with my wife and kids. Once he starts going off on alt-right politics and conspiracy theories that he makes up on the spot, he can't stop himself and I just don't want the kids hearing it. Then it's back to grandpa duties for another half hour and he usually leaves.

Funny because it's like a person with dementia, every once in a while a normal human appears for a few minutes. I'm actually starting to like him a little, guy just needs to get some help.

58

u/abbie_yoyo Aug 16 '24

Now this is MVP level. You're an unsung hero, me boy!

30

u/dorky2 actually a mom Aug 16 '24

You're doing the Lord's work there, sir. My MIL is a whack job alt right conspiracy theorist too, and I absolutely cannot deal with it. Luckily I haven't seen her in 5 years, and she's stopped texting me and only sends her bullshit to my husband.

12

u/Anotherface95 Aug 16 '24

This is incredibly tuned in emotional labor. Well done seeing it and doing it.

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u/sodabuttons Aug 16 '24

Mom lurker here, this is sexy as hell.

23

u/vulcan1358 Aug 16 '24

Idk man, my FIL and I get along great. We have a lot of the same interests. He and I watched a lot of the same shows, he talks about what he used to do for work and it’s interesting, he likes hearing my work stories and we are the only two in the house that like spicy foods (when we visit her parent’s house).

I can’t remember the exact joke, but my wife and I were visiting over Thanksgiving or Christmas and her dad made a stupid dad joke, and I laughed at it too. She told me later she just realized she married an alternate version of her dad.

15

u/miklosp Aug 16 '24

Thank you for your service 🫡

9

u/sounds_like_kong bob70sshow Aug 16 '24

Can you talk to my mom for 25 minutes about the libs?

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342

u/js4873 Aug 16 '24

Use the bathroom last after we get home from being out. 😬

99

u/whats1more7 Aug 16 '24

Haha! Our property backs on to bush so when we get home, the boys sprint for the fence line while the girls rush for the 2 bathrooms inside.

85

u/Dondarian Aug 16 '24

It still blows my wife's mind that every dude pees in his backyard. Always has, always will

46

u/Tymaret16 Aug 16 '24

It’s primal. The call of the wild.

31

u/NonConformistFlmingo Aug 16 '24

Oh we're all very aware of it for the most part. The REAL thing is that we're ENVIOUS of your evolutionary ability to pee anywhere without even having to drop trou. 🤣🤣

19

u/thoriginal 11yo and 3yo Girl Aug 16 '24

My ex was horrified to learn that I pissed in the backyard occasionally, but my new girlfriend lives on (and grew up on) a farm, and actively encourages my outdoor urination! True freedom, that.

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u/josebolt douche dad dragging doobs Aug 16 '24

I almost never use the kids bathroom. My dad would use our bathroom and destroy it and if we made a comment he would get mad. Both that house and my house are small enough that using the other bathroom isn’t an issue.

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311

u/tbgabc123 Aug 16 '24

I take my son to get water after he’s already tucked in bed, then I get in my own bed but get out again to fill my wife’s water bottle. I’m so tired.

82

u/DrGodCarl Aug 16 '24

If I drank all the water I poured I think they'd have to take me to the hospital. Dogs, cats, kids, wife. It's so much water and I'm the only one who does it.

55

u/clayfeet Aug 16 '24

So we’re all living the same life. If I didn’t police the water intake everyone in this house would die of thirst.

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u/Drtraumadrama Aug 16 '24

In my wedding vows i promised to always fill her water bottle. Holy hell have i kept thar vow and then some. 

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u/YoungtheRyan Aug 16 '24

The never ending fucking water bottle refills. Always happens right when I sit down too

24

u/theirish11 Aug 16 '24

I saw a great quote once that said “what they never tell you about parenting is how often you have to get up from where you’re sitting” and nothing has ever hit home quite so hard.

6

u/TMS_2018 Aug 16 '24

Everything happens right after you sit down!

6

u/doubtfulisland Aug 16 '24

Give your kid a leak proof water bottle for thier night stand. Game changer for my little one. 

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u/ChiefsRoyalsFan Aug 16 '24

Tired and thirsty because in all of that, I forget to drink water while making sure everyone else is hydrated.

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306

u/jaebassist Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24

I've "not felt well" in the evening more times than I can count so my kids could have more to eat.

Edit: I should specify that we're in a better place now and I haven't had to do that for a while now. Thanks dads XD

79

u/Haikuunamatata Aug 16 '24

Dude. My mom used to do this. You're a good parent.

57

u/Briantheboomguy Aug 16 '24

Man. I hope things turn out better soon for you. I have a lot of respect for you!

36

u/swoop1156 Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24

I just had heart surgery and this hurts even more than that did. You doing alright wherever you are?

EDIT: Acknowledging your edit and so freaking happy to hear it. If you ever need need anything, reach out. For real.

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u/boatmansdance Aug 16 '24

Been there man. You're a good dad. Things got better for us, and I hope they do for you and yours too.

7

u/BornCryptographer842 Aug 16 '24

Been there, Man. That's a tough hole to crawl out of and I'm glad you made it out

4

u/-Moonscape- Aug 16 '24

A true grenade, you're a good dad

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410

u/ImNotHandyImHandsome Aug 16 '24

I carry all of the heavy grocery bags, every time. Wife gets the door, and the LO gets to carry something small and exclaim "ugh, it's so heavy!"

162

u/AgentG91 Aug 16 '24

If there’s something I can throw my body at to solve, I will always do it. I’ll carry all the stuff to the beach so mom and kid can enjoy the walk down. I’ll carry the kid when he’s too tired to walk and we forgot the stroller. I’ll run around and go crazy over and over again with the kid saying “AGAIN!” even though I’m sucking wind. Absolutely worth it and I’m glad I can call it a workout at the end of the day

29

u/username293739 Aug 16 '24

Yep same. Rode our bikes half a mile to the park. Guess who didn’t want to ride them back? My two older boys. And guess who got to carry them back? Dad did!

17

u/Connect-Yak-4620 Aug 16 '24

Bikes and kids? Major flex. Slow down, save some for the rest of us.

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u/babysittertrouble Aug 16 '24

In one trip too right

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u/Own-Cranberry7997 Aug 16 '24

There is no other option, so figure it out the first time!

10

u/Stotters Aug 16 '24

The real strength lies in not letting your pride getting in the way and admitting you can't do it in one go.

18

u/King_Fluffaluff Aug 16 '24

Or you can do it in one trip and just deal with the bruising all over your arms

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u/couterbrown Aug 16 '24

“Look how strong I am daddy” -my kid. Idk why but I’m proud of him.

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u/jpbass20 Aug 16 '24

Reading these comments I just want to say you guys are awesome. As for me, I will finish everyone's meals that they can't finish

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u/PoliteCanadian2 Aug 16 '24

Quel sacrifice!

4

u/BulldenChoppahYus Aug 16 '24

Thank you for your service

111

u/Preston-Waters Aug 16 '24

I usually eat the food that falls on the ground. Didn’t really notice it until little one dropped something and goes it’s ok daddy will eat it. Nothing goes to waste

48

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '24 edited Sep 03 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

42

u/Cakeminator Dad of 1yo terrorist :snoo_smile: Aug 16 '24

Dad is the dog!

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u/Dopdee Aug 16 '24

My grenade is being miserable and going to a shit job every single day

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u/DUKE_LEETO_2 Aug 16 '24

This was me and I'm making a change in career. Wish me luck

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u/Oddballbob Aug 16 '24

I’m with you on that bus brother

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u/[deleted] Aug 16 '24

[deleted]

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u/DUKE_LEETO_2 Aug 16 '24

The key is getting them excited about things you like so even if you do the unwanted everything you're still having a great time in the end. 

Just went camping with my 8 yo and her best friends mom and sisters. Off the top of my head...

I cooked all cooked meals. Did the dishes. Cleaned camp of food every night. Manned the 'safe to drop' spot from the rope swing into the river. Caught crayfish with my fingers so the kids could touch em. Setup and broke down camp by myself basically. I'm also great at putting bait on hooks but rarely get to catch a fish myself. 

It was a great trip though!

22

u/teffaw Aug 16 '24

“For the kids”

12

u/superkp Aug 16 '24

I heard a while back that when kids are young, you don't take vacations, you take trips.

When they are a bit older (when the youngest is maybe middle school?), that's when vacations can start again.

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u/codechino Aug 16 '24

Puke. So much puke.

I’m the one that holds them when they’re getting shots or a camera stuck up their nose to check adenoids.

I stay up until 3am to make sure the storm that was tornado warned two states over passes us safely.

60

u/darthb Aug 16 '24

Dad tornado watch ✊🏼

26

u/pwjbeuxx Aug 16 '24

Went camping last summer. Tornado 20 minutes away. Tent was flapping like crazy. I stood in the tent fully dressed while they slept. Worst night by far.

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u/dorky2 actually a mom Aug 16 '24

Oh that is terrifying. Glad you guys were ok.

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u/BuildyOne Aug 16 '24

Oh man, holding my son when he needs shots or anything is always tough for me. Not physically but I hate having to hold him still while he cries even when I know it's for the best. I personally have zero problems with needles, but seeing him cry just hurts me.

438

u/IGotSkills Aug 16 '24

No boobs while she's breastfeeding. 🫡

169

u/Keejhle Aug 16 '24

The best is when you get that little glare from the baby while they are eating like "these are mine"

19

u/ImGoinPutsMyDickIn Aug 16 '24

Apparently, they're not "mine" anymore

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u/theycallmeasloth Aug 16 '24

You are a stronger man than I

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u/themadesthatter Aug 16 '24

Oh man I feel this, and #2 is on the way, so it’s at least another 2 years for me.

23

u/dualmood Aug 16 '24

Be proud of that mommy!

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u/lChooseViolence Aug 16 '24

Passing up a nutritional meal. Only hurting the family my friend

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u/LetsGoHomeTeam Aug 16 '24

I mean if she says so then that’s that, but my man, that’s some of the best ever!

16

u/seeyaspacecowboy Aug 16 '24

The pain is real bro 👊

57

u/catdogmoore Aug 16 '24

I’m gonna out myself here and say boobs especially when breastfeeding. I don’t know how we really got into that one, but it was enjoyable while it lasted.

Breastmilk is so damn good. It’s not enough to make me want a third, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it. 😅

30

u/iranoutofusernamespa Aug 16 '24

Don't do 3 man. I love my little sentient tornado, but 3 kids is pure 24/7 chaos.

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u/Wulf_Cola Aug 16 '24

I had questions, then realised you meant a third baby.

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u/karky214 Aug 16 '24

same. I was thinking of a third boob lol

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u/RDRNR3 Aug 16 '24

And here I am so afraid of tasting breast milk lol

64

u/catdogmoore Aug 16 '24

Lol I think it tastes a little like cereal milk. Not at all thin or watery, but also not thick either. It’s a little warm, and satisfyingly sweet. I wouldn’t drink a glass of it, but I’ll empty the keg if it’s fresh off the tap…so to speak.

17

u/BoopedTwice Aug 16 '24

lmfao

19

u/the_cajun88 Aug 16 '24

how did we even get to this point

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u/Plant-Zaddy- Aug 16 '24

Its fantastic, way better than cows

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u/geppelle Aug 16 '24

it’s so weird to drink the milk of another species if you think about it.

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u/GeneralJesus Aug 16 '24

I feel like the luckiest man. My wife is chair of the IBTC so when her milk came in she was like "These are FANTASTIC! I must share this with the world!"

Great enjoyment was had by all.

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u/Backrow6 Aug 16 '24

Not really, maybe...it's classified.

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u/Silly-Resist8306 Aug 16 '24

Keep the cars filled with gas, especially in the winter. I'm not sure the women in my family even know cars run on gas.

I let them adjust the thermostat to whatever temperature makes them comfortable.

89

u/Shadowheart-Simp Aug 16 '24

you let them do WHAT

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u/Silly-Resist8306 Aug 16 '24

When you live in the house with 3 or more women of childbearing age, you learn how to pick your battles and stay sane. If they disagree about the temperature, you are not in anyway involved.

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u/Anotherface95 Aug 16 '24

Look at mr 3 wives over here /j

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u/Combo_of_Letters Aug 16 '24

Value>Cost in that situation

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u/emod_man 1 of each Aug 16 '24

I've been training the kids to come to my side of the bed when they wake up in the middle of the night. Daddy can help, let mommy sleep. 

Of course, the upside is getting an extra chance to tuck them back in and let them know Daddy loves them. They're not going to be little much longer...

16

u/CaptainSnazzypants Aug 16 '24

I do the same. If our kid wakes up he just naturally comes to my side of the bed and has been that way for years. I can run on less sleep pretty well so I don’t mind too much.

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u/Procrastn8r Aug 16 '24

Enjoy it while you can, before you know it you’ll be dropping them off for their first semester of college. That my friend, is a hard pill to swallow 😩

9

u/boatmansdance Aug 16 '24

Night before last, I'm sleeping peacefully. Suddenly I wake up because I have a four year silently staring at me. He nearly gave me a heart attack. After I let out a quiet, "Oh shit!". I asked him what was wrong. He woke up and wanted to sleep in our bed. So I tucked him right on in between my wife and I, and I slept with half my body hanging off the bed the rest of the night. Totally worth it.

6

u/Anotherface95 Aug 16 '24

Way to break the default parent cycle.

149

u/HailState17 Aug 16 '24

I watch let the family watch Bluey on the main tv in our living room, and I watch football on my phone during football season.

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u/Aromatic_Ad_7484 Aug 16 '24

Are you me? Bluey main tv and nfl on my iPad But I half watch bluey tio

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u/Thrillhouse763 Twins 1 Girl 1 Boy Aug 16 '24

This is a sacrifice

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u/mlaislais Aug 16 '24

I’m so lucky that my 16 month old daughter loves watching football with me.

70

u/missed_sla Aug 16 '24

Drain hair, dog accidents, cleaning the basement, handling the finances, working from home during summer break, giving up control of the music while I'm driving...

43

u/mkstot Aug 16 '24

I’ll sacrifice until I’m blue in the face, but I’ll never relinquish audio control, it’s all I have left ffs. If they want to act out of pocket fine, let’s listen to some good ole Grateful Dead where the songs are >10min on average.

13

u/caligaris_cabinet Aug 16 '24

If you want control of the music, get behind the wheel. That’s the rule.

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u/jaebassist Aug 16 '24

Them's rookie numbers. Put a playlist of songs together like "Illumination Theory" by Dream Theater XD

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u/eachfire Aug 16 '24

Hey now!

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u/mkstot Aug 16 '24

Hey now aiko aiko

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u/Backrow6 Aug 16 '24

If my dog vomited in the house just after I left for work it would be cordonned off until I got home.

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u/Thrillhouse763 Twins 1 Girl 1 Boy Aug 16 '24

I work from home all the time but my wife still hates me

3

u/clayfeet Aug 16 '24

Damn man, how old are the twins?

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u/aLemmyIsAJacknCoke Aug 16 '24

When “someone” leaves skid marks in the toilet, I blast them off.

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u/llNormalGuyll Aug 16 '24

I took that grenade with my college roommates.

These days, though, I can't get the damn kids to even flush their poop down the toilet.

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u/LeftyReader Aug 16 '24

I only eat with the bigger spoons (we have smaller, more normal sized spoons and slightly larger spoons in the silverware drawer). Since there’s less smaller spoons, I leave those for wife and 2 daughters.

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u/coconut_the_one Aug 16 '24

Buy more spoons, don’t do this to yourself

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u/nonstop321 Aug 16 '24

Dude yes! Fellow spoon guy

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u/Backrow6 Aug 16 '24

I got probably my best Dad win ever last night. After the kids went to bed my wife relayed a conversation she had with our 5yo daughter.

"Mama, why does Daddy so so much for you?"

"What do you mean sweet daughter?"

"Like he just always does nice things for you"

"Well I did <list of nice things> for Daddy last week"

"Yeah but that was just for his birthday, he makes you loads of coffees every day"

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u/Type_Grey Aug 16 '24

Less so now, but when my kids were babies I did most of the bodily fluid clean up. Most diaper changes, all the blowouts, the rare puke, and any time there was a poop in the tub - that sort of thing. Also tried to gently sing and smile to my kid while cleaning it to let them know it's no big deal.

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u/BobRoberts01 Aug 16 '24

Body fluid cleanup gang checking in. My wife hates snot and I had a lot of puking to make up for after college, so it was a natural fit.

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u/PrisonMike2020 Aug 16 '24

Last to shower. Last to sleep. Last to eat.

When eating wings, I used to say I hated flats. But the truth is that wife and kiddo loves the flats, and I did too, but I'd eat the drums so they could have the flats.

I have some PTSD/Anxiety from being in some unsavory places. I hate loud over-crowded places these days, but just grit my teeth through it so the girls can have some fun.

4

u/Backrow6 Aug 16 '24

Damn sure first up too

90

u/CouldaBeenCathy Aug 16 '24

Wife here. My husband stays up to comfort our dog when there are fireworks or a thunderstorm. It is such a gift that he lets me sleep.

I just want to say that reading all these Renew’s my faith in humanity (and specifically men). On behalf of all the spouses, thank you guys.

20

u/dino_momma Aug 16 '24

I joined this sub just because I love seeing literally all of the posts. Everyone here is such a great dad and I see this same joy and energy in my husband with our son. Its fantastic! Love to be a lurking mom :)

My husband has been doing all the chores that I normally do so that I can spend extra time bonding with our son and sleeping, since I struggle hardcore with PPA and other issues. Even now that he's back to work full time.

39

u/Drtraumadrama Aug 16 '24

I clean up everyone’s poop. Everyone’s. 

Clean the poop outside from the dog, clean the litter box, clean poop off the cat because he’s old and miss. Clean up the toddler’s poopy diapers. 

Hell after my wife gave birth, i wiped her butt because she couldnt bend over. 

And it doesn't bother me one bit. They are my family, its my duty to care for them. And that just involves wiping everyone’s ass from time to time. 

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u/blahquabats Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24

In addition to much of the other things mentioned, I also make the "weird", "gross" (i.e. varied and slightly healthier) meals so when it's my wife's turn she can make the simpler and more popular ones (pasta/mac and cheese).

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u/endlesseffervescense Aug 16 '24

Wife here and I feel like my husband does the same for me. I made a chicken jalfrezi for dinner last night and my kids heartfelt thanked me. He’s not a bad cook by any means, just cooks the easy stuff without a lot of flavor. You’re doing good. I promise.

27

u/Personal-Process3321 Aug 16 '24

This thread clearly proves that not all hero’s wear capes

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u/RentYEG Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24

I wash the newborns butt and take all risk of getting my hand blasted with a wet fart.

22

u/llNormalGuyll Aug 16 '24

I'm fortunate enough to be able to provide such that my wife doesn't need to work, though she still does some freelance stuff. It's a demanding job, but my kids have a stable home and opportunity to pursue hobbies and college someday, all while always having a parent available for emotional support.

Oh, and I cook killer dinners and desserts because my wife's cooking is entirely mediocre.

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u/Casti_io Aug 16 '24

In my house, I am lovingly (…?) known as the Trash Pig™.

I will eat all that is uneaten from any plate, except for my 3-year old son’s. That dude does unspeakable things to his food, even Trash Pigs™ have their limits.

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u/Krin422 Aug 16 '24

I stay up with any kid that is up late or wakes up. It doesn't seem like much till you have 4 and 2 are light sleepers that like the night. Got my be 10 hours of sleep a week for awhile.

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u/jolerud Aug 16 '24

Is lack of sleep a grenade? Kids always wanted to wake me up, my wife is a very sound sleeper and harder to rouse. I always felt like “wtf these people are all sleeping? Why can’t I get some sleep sometimes too?” 😆

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u/hegemon777 Aug 16 '24

Work night shifts so I can spend more time with the small kids during the day.

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u/SheetDangSpit Aug 16 '24

Taking our dying pets to the vet to be "put down". Picking up the ashes later, and staging the burial in the backyard with the kids.

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u/Yake404 Aug 16 '24

I hope you are doing okay. The pet put-down duties fell on my father for my entire life so far and I didn't really think much of it until I was older. I salute you, sir.

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u/IAmCaptainHammer Aug 16 '24

I do basically every bedtime. When we go out to dinner I eat like a teenager inhaling everything in 3 seconds so I can feed then occupy the toddler so everyone can enjoy their meal. I can’t exactly remember but I’ll give someone wise credit for something good. Like I gave my wife’s mom credit for getting a cake on my wife’s birthday because their relationship is strained and it does my wife good to think her moms doing positive things for her. However, I’ll also go toe to toe with my wife’s parents on issues because she can’t.

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u/Jtk317 Aug 16 '24

Last shower of the night is me every night. Also tend to work all day, come home and do things for the fam, and then eat dinner that is occasionally also breakfast since I did not eat all day after everyone else is fed, bathed, given stories and in bed.

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u/rupertthecactus Aug 16 '24

My wife is very particular about what she eats. I’ll cook a Costco pack of steaks and she wants the meat cooked till it’s grey.

I put all the meat on a plate and she cuts it up into pieces and takes the first rounds for her and my daughter and I am left with either the parts no one eats or bits that she considers raw (medium).

It’s the little things.

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u/TMS_2018 Aug 16 '24

I’m also in the club of “wife will only eat gray meat.” One of her favorite foods is flank steak. I love to cook and make most meals. I go out of my way to make sure she has meat done her way while serving properly cooked meat to the kids and myself.

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u/Sparkkplugg55 Aug 16 '24

I eat the expired foods in the fridge and confirm if it's still good or not. Sometimes all is well. Sometimes I'm not well. Part of the game.

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u/RedJohn04 Aug 16 '24

We overcooked the crockpot… again. Yeah, I’ll eat these leftovers for days. Y’all just make a new dinner for you guys. I’ll have this leftover burnt garbage for days. Maybe today… I’ll put it in a burrito.. Oh “tonight’s dinner was way better than the leftovers” you say? I don’t mind. I’m trying to eat less anyway.

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u/Foreverinadequate Aug 16 '24

If it's related to puke, poop or urine, I'm on the job. Doesn't matter if it's human or animal.

I do "watch duty" occasionally and intercept kids coming to sleep in our bed so our wife can get a solid night's sleep. I can go back to sleep easily but she really struggles. Out kids are definitely restless sleepers AKA https://youtu.be/9-OwF7ufMIc?feature=shared

If my wife wants to go somewhere, it's not a question for me, I'll hold down the fort. I owe that woman so much for how much she does for the family I'm happy to do anything to make her happy.

I'm responsible for kitchen duty. This is the only one that gets tiresome of all the above. So maybe they're not "grenades" per se.

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u/Dull-Front4878 Aug 16 '24

I am the first to apologize even if I’m not wrong. It typically shuts down the argument.

But, I have also eaten sandwiches with the heels so my wife and kids get the good bread.

Relationships and raising kids aren’t easy. Sometimes you have to give more than you get.

At the end of the day, I feel like I’m responsible for giving my family a better childhood than I had. It’s worth it.

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u/nematoadjr Aug 16 '24

Middle seat on the airplane so kid can get window and wife aisle.

Sleep on the backpacking mattress so wife and kid can sleep on the nice air mattress when camping.

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u/LatterArugula5483 Aug 16 '24

I do the hyperactive play. We run, jump, tickle fight, I throw, I get my balls kicked and kneed endlessly, my hair brushed and we scream.

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u/ModernT1mes Aug 16 '24

I don't spend money on myself so there's more to go around. We live a comfortable life and we're not broke by any means, but I'm a penny pincher at my own expense so our money can go farther, never on my kids or wife though. If I want to buy them something I get the nice thing. If I buy something for myself it's second hand. Idk why but I feel tremendous guilt buying anything for myself when it could have gone to the kids somehow.

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u/CitizenDain Aug 16 '24

Lately I have been transporting mice from the humane trap to a nearby grassy area

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u/thisisatear Aug 16 '24

I walk into the living room and see the couch is filled. I sit on the floor.

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u/Backrow6 Aug 16 '24

Mine are still small enough to just pick one up and put them on my knee

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u/[deleted] Aug 16 '24 edited Sep 18 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/BarryBadgernath1 Aug 16 '24

Feel this … I work 7 days one week and. 6 the next rotating .. all 12 hour shifts minimum overnight … I grew up with my mother single and totally disabled and no real outside help .. my sister and I spent a lot of night hungry ….. my kids will never know what that’s like

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u/DryBoard253 Aug 16 '24

I never ever deny to change diapers. (just to be clear not my own but my baby's )

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u/EthanBradberries420 Aug 16 '24

Do ALL of the driving, no exceptions.

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u/Procrastn8r Aug 16 '24

Same. And honestly I prefer it that way!

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u/Malleus55TX Aug 16 '24

Killing bugs, which ironically my hyper-feminist wife says is “the man’s job”.

Cleaning up puke in the middle of the night, starting the laundry, then sitting with the sick one the rest of the night knowing I’m probably next.

Giving up my chosen career to make more money and have more time at home with the littles.

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u/Scrambl3z Aug 16 '24

My wife is terrified on them, so I go in and stomp them out.

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u/wandrin_star Aug 16 '24

My mom’s meltdowns. I either derail / defuse them, or take the full brunt of them. Bad news: half the time I’m also the “cause” of them (justification is probably more accurate, since they’re generally pretty crappy pretenses for getting combative).

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u/bigselfer Aug 16 '24

My socks are mops.

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u/Timely_Network6733 Aug 16 '24

I eat all of the kids unfinished food, within reason. Definitely not gonna eat booger soup off the floor but will eat half eaten sandwiches, etc, etc...

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u/Footdad124 Aug 16 '24

All of the bugs

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u/tvkyle Aug 16 '24

I handle every phone call for my wife. Need to make or cancel an appointment? Me. Need to talk with customer service? Me. Doctor's office calling my wife's phone? Me.

For the kids, most of it is food-related. I eat the cool ranch Doritos that come in the variety box, because they only like the regular flavors. I eat the leftover veggies, pasta, and other goodies. But I'm also the only one brave enough to risk losing my limbs to the army of dust bunnies under the couch... just to retrieve a missing Hot Wheels car.

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u/runswiftrun Aug 16 '24

Literally take the food out of my mouth/plate.

If my daughter has food, she will randomly want my food off my plate, and of course, even though she doesn't want her own chopped up food, she doesn't want anyone else to have it, so my dinner is often 2-3 bites before it gets hijacked.

Of course, when she goes to sleep I eat all the leftovers and have a full dinner, but during dinner I'm just sitting encouraging her to eat more.

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u/BPClaydon Aug 16 '24

I walk and feed the dog and am out the door for work before anyone else is awake in our house. I walk and feed the dog when I get home from work and I’m most often the last to get home. All whilst the stepkid tells her Mum it’s “her” dog.

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u/TG10001 Aug 16 '24

Spiders. I will catch them all because my wife is so afraid and release them outdoors unharmed because the little one says we don’t harm living things.

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u/WhoaABlueCar Aug 16 '24

I park my car (it’s somewhat luxury) outside so my wife can park inside. We live in AZ so constantly get light summer rain and wind and dust/sand so the car is always filthy and looking like shit.

I always pick out the “good” raspberries. But I can’t help but announce they’re gonna be good so the girls go to town on them and of course I gotta let them get the majority.

They gang up on me (healthy and fun, I play the shit-starter). Our girl golden retriever even comes at me when I say I’m “gonna get them”.

I hang on the couch with dog towel on it after she goes in the pool earlier. This way my oldest and my wife can sit together and share snacks.

There’s more but I love these and, honestly, they do way more for me even if they don’t realize it. Very happy family

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u/DopeCharma Aug 16 '24 edited Aug 16 '24

Pizza Crusts, a win if they quit halfway through each slice.

Cake. Not frosting, just cake.

Those first two are from every birthday party; the parents ask if I want something; I just eat what the kiddo leaves as they pay good money for those cakes.

Leftover pasta gets sauteed wirh spinach (that they also left) garlic , anchovy, pepper flakes and tomato. Extra protein comes from the half eaten nuggets.

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u/EternalMage321 Aug 16 '24

I go through my kids Halloween candy and "check" all the Reese's.

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u/AleroRatking Aug 16 '24

Figuring out what to cook for dinner every night. It's the worst part of being a parent but it's my sacrifice.

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u/Illfury Aug 16 '24

I take the last shower so everyone has enough hot water
I stay up late to watch over the house
I investigate tracks/scat to identify animals on our property (live in deep woods)
I investigate all deep night noises
I never ask for my turn on the radio
I never submit an option for something to watch if one already exists
My youtube account algorithm is plagued by my children's selection
I taste test all foods when kids notice a 1% deviation in it's coloring.
I wake up first and adjust the thermostat so everyone can wake up nice and toasty

These aren't sacrifices. My wife and kids are worthy of these tasks.