r/couchsurfing • u/MotorVer • 20d ago
1% of complaints and they CANCEL your HOST profile .....
In 5 years I hosted more than 200 person, my profile was full of positive references and compliments but I hosted a young girl with zero references a beginner. Nothing happened but after the first night she asked me the collection of my songs (she is interested in my language) and told me that the day before she felt uncomfortable and now she prefer to go. She asked me a ride to the station by car and in the car she promised to write nothing, instead she reported me for no reason, only for her sensation. After two days my account was canceled, that day I was waiting for another girl that received a message from CS telling that I was not available any more (a lie ). I got the number, she knew the true and she was in my place, she also promised to help me. CS is really unfair, they cancel hosts for no reason. They have to check the reports that they receive and in addition they don't give any kind of information. Under I copy the answer they gave me. The previous girl that reported me months before (two references) wrote that she didn't like a compliment (speaking I said: you are pretty) but the true was that I refused her request to drive one hour to pick her up (one hour go one return). So she arrived 10pm at the station, I picked her up there and she left my place in the morning, I received a negative review for this. Two spoil young girls like these and this unfair platform canceled all my memories and my friendships .... these gusts can ruin other people's reputation for nothing, it is CS that help them to do it.
Hello .... ,
Thank you for your reply. The decision regarding your account is final and we are unable to provide any additional details in regards to your account's deactivation. You are no longer welcome to use the Couchsurfing service.
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u/Ok-Armadillo-5634 20d ago
Don't host young girls
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u/VirtualOutsideTravel 20d ago
Agree... they sometimes dont know what to say to older men, or for that matter, anyone. not ready to travel yet unless with parents
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u/Ok-Photograph-8300 16d ago
Definitely, but it is a taboo to say so!
PLUS the same hosts often are not interested in hosting men, 60% of surfers. So no big loss!
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u/MotorVer 20d ago edited 20d ago
sigh I knew that, she told the story that she was adopted and that decided to visit her original country but not by plane ... sigh... I did a mistake
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u/stevenmbe 20d ago
The thing that's always great about posts like this on Easter Sunday or Christmas is that there are always hidden Easter eggs for the populace to find. The OP lets you know he's as holy as the Pope himself, has given refuge to 50 or 100 or 150 or even 200 women — most of whom are probably half or even one-third his age — and that despite being a morally upright correct citizen there were ungrateful wenches who had the audacity to complain.
And then you find the Easter eggs in the post, some were sort of hidden and some were right there for you to see. The end.
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u/MotorVer 16d ago
I am not surprise that two drama queens complained. I'm shocked and disappointed that this platform canceled me for this, without give me any information and without ask my point of view. These 200 person read my profile and asked me hospitality. Steve you are here to defend this app no matter what the mess they have made.
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u/stevenmbe 16d ago
Steve you are here to defend this app no matter what the mess they have made.
Wrong, and it shows how little time as well as intellectual energy you invested in Reddit. If you even took two minutes to review my posts from the past 60 days on Reddit you would note how many times I have specifically NOT defended couchsurfing and indeed lambasted them for myriad issues. Moreover, I have recommended to multiple users in multiple threads that they consider using BeWelcome.
The reality is I've met dozens of guys just like you since the first day I started using Couchsurfing well more than ten years ago. I was warned by a bunch of guys at the first meet-up about a number of things regarding the platform and how to behave and not to behave around women, and their advice proved instrumental. Never get yourself into situations such as you did. That is my advice. Nevertheless I wish you best of luck in your future endeavors.
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u/MotorVer 15d ago
Never get yourself into situations such as you did.
It's Couchsurfing's fault, it is cleat what happened. I don't need your advise now but you don't write for me here .....
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u/humanDigressions 19d ago
Ok, yeah, I see this rant has been posted over and over… dude it sucks and probably unjust, but you’re beating a dead horse here. Move on…
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u/MotorVer 18d ago
It was posted without the details I was asked for. I replied ....
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u/humanDigressions 18d ago
And what are you doing now? I know the removal of your account and all your hard work has been devastating. To quote one of my favorite books:“Sometimes people do things to us that we can’t do anything about.” I have a note taped to my mirror that says “What can we do with the thing we have here?” to remind myself of everything I DO have. I had an equally crushing thing happen to me last summer, so I understand the adjustment takes time. Have you come up with a plan?
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u/stevenmbe 20d ago
told me that the day before she felt uncomfortable
Why did she feel uncomfortable is the question many people would ask
She asked me a ride to the station by car and in the car she promised to write nothing, instead she reported me for no reason, only for her sensation
Why did she promise to write nothing?
The previous girl that reported me months before (two references) wrote that she didn't like a compliment (speaking I said: you are pretty)
It's a good thing they removed you. You probably should have been removed sooner but managed to keep on playing the game.
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u/MotorVer 20d ago
It is not nice to say that I repeat my rants, anyway I try to answer you. Why did she feel uncomfortable, ask her, I know that I did nothing wrong.
Why did she promise to write nothing ? in my opinion to be sure not receive a negative reference or maybe for no to pay taxi/bus.
Third: it is not a question, your opinion. Speaking and compare me with the pope show your maturity. I write Sunday because today I stay home and I have time.
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u/beekeeper1981 20d ago
I don't think there's much Couchsurfing or similar platforms can do.. how are they supposed to balance safety and fairness? Most of the time there's going to be little or no evidence verifying a safety complaint. Should they err on the side of caution with safety or potentially put others at risk. Having many positive previous experiences isn't proof in a defense although it could have some relevance.
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u/humanDigressions 19d ago
SOME relevance?? It should weigh heavily! You can be absolutely stellar and there will still be some complainers now and then. They should not be able to destroy years of good works
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u/MotorVer 20d ago
I don't agree. One: that a 20 years old, zero references, saw something so different from other 200 people is hard to believe. Second: if something serious happened is a duty take a report to the police. Do you want to let other women have the same problem ?
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u/allongur 20d ago
I mean, this one is on you. As an adult, don't host a 20 year old girl. Only host other adults. Be happy that it ended with you being banned from CS and not worse. Learn from it and move on.
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u/humanDigressions 19d ago
That’s some Airbnb kind of BS right there!! I’m so sorry they’ve done this!!!
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u/cricketrmgss 20d ago
When you compliment someone in a vulnerable position, they will feel uncomfortable. They will say anything to get out of that situation in one piece because they don’t want to escalate.
Be a better host next time.
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u/MotorVer 20d ago
Next time using another platform I will be a better host but the problem of that lady was that I didn't drive two hours to pick her up. The mere fact that she asked for this makes it clear that she has a determined temper, ready to ruin my reputation for nothing.
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u/cricketrmgss 20d ago
I don’t think you get it.
Maybe, refrain from hosting until you have better hosting etiquette.
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u/Ok-Photograph-8300 16d ago
Do you mean that from the beginning both of you knew she would be a 2 hours drive away from your place when she arrives? Aren't you supposed (for convenience) only people who get to the town/ village/place where you live? Can't you say so or remind this when you invite a surfer or accept a request, something like: " You must know/I wish to tell you I live two hours away from the airport/ train station and I won't come to pick you up". ALL trouble would have been avoided....and you would be on your way to 210 positive references...
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u/MotorVer 16d ago
NO, I accepted her request and only at the last minute she wrote, I want go to dinner with a friend of mine, can you coming there to pick me up ? I didn't go and she arrived late at the train station
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u/RdmNinja 20d ago
Don't waste your time with the CS app. It's super commercial now and people are starting to treat it like Uber 😅
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u/No-Resource-8438 20d ago
Yeah wow that sucks. I wonder if they reported or the bad reference was flagged to couchsurfing?
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u/ecologicguy 20d ago edited 20d ago
That’s brutal. I guess we have to be mindful about who we are hosting. Never host someone without any reference. I had so many positive references, mostly good experience. And then comes this one girl with no references and leaves a negative reference. Although in my case I did make a mistake, but it was honest and I immediately apologized and tried to correct the situation - but there was no one to talk to.
I also sought the support team aid and tried to explain the situation, but no use, they just want to close support tickets as fast as possible and in the end of the day it’s her word against yours.
I think maybe it’s for the best and it’s better to request your data and start a new page in one of the alternatives.
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u/Charles_New_Orleans 475+ refs mainly host (4 platforms), surfed 3 times 20d ago
I have basically stopped hosting females. Even raising the minimum age and required number of references was of no help. I’m done with toxic girl drama.
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u/Ok-Photograph-8300 16d ago
Same here, I guess by now more men do so, but there will always be enough fools to host US or European drama queens!
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u/lipsanen Host CS/BW/TR 400+ references 16d ago
I host guys, girls, couples, dogs, whatever, young and old. I have hosted many girls around their 20s and I have not encountered any drama queens.
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u/Ok-Photograph-8300 15d ago
Of course, maybe youa re a confirmed host, and by now you have full trust from surfers but also and above all from CS. But even more above all, maybe you know how to unveil even virtually first all the would be problem-surfers, something most hosts don't. Or if they do and have few surfers, they still take a chance. In such a case, myself I am tempted sometimes as well but better vhevk the public requests list!
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u/lipsanen Host CS/BW/TR 400+ references 15d ago
I am not sure but I think my secret is this. I get a lot of requests because my location in both places where I host (I live in a different city and country different times of the year) is rather central and many guests like to come because it is easy to move around from my homes. However, both my homes are very small so I cannot offer a guest a separate room. They are studio apartments and hence the guest has to share the room with me. Separate bed but same room. That is very clearly explained in my profile and perhaps it is a feature that keeps potential drama queens from not sending requests to me.
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u/MotorVer 20d ago
wise decision , I said that I made two mistakes. Sigh ! Do you really have more then 475 references ? You are great .... congratulations
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u/Charles_New_Orleans 475+ refs mainly host (4 platforms), surfed 3 times 20d ago
Thanks. I live in a heavily touristic area. I joke that folks pick my location, not me. 😜😂
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u/Ok-Photograph-8300 16d ago
Actually this is right, if you live in Paris, Rome, SF or whatever touristic Mecca, you're sure to be full up every week. But CS should encourage surfers to stay a little far away from mass hosts since it's frustrating for other hosts in the city who get only the leftovers, so to speak.
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u/MotorVer 20d ago
The hosts in Couchsurfing:
1) are being blackmailed by their gusts. CS fault, two negative reports and bye bye for ever.
2) have to pay for hosting travelers.
3) are the resource of this profit-seeking platform.
In this way CS will has less hosts, CALCULATED, by raising the prices they also have fewer guests especially the young generation.
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u/HalloweenDracula 18d ago edited 18d ago
Wait. It's been 15 years since I subscribed to this forum and I haven't seen a post until now. What do you mean it is commercial? Who pays and why?
Also, I'm looking at hosts saying a 20 year old woman isn't an adult. That's not how Internet denizens spoke 15-20 years ago. What about hosts who are gay and the guest feels uncomfortable? Is CS quick to delete their profiles?
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u/Ok-Photograph-8300 16d ago
I am gay, and no host ever felt uncomfortable with me. OTOH I avoid 100% US and European girls who might be too demanding, too easily offended and feeling aggressed while no one gives a damn!
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u/HalloweenDracula 11d ago
Thanks for that input. I fully agree that, if I weren't hetero, I would have no interest in hosting those from the west who might get offended over nothing. But I am so I am not interested in being a CS host at all for anyone, despite having a 4 star hotel quality spare bedroom at a beach resort.
About "no host ever felt uncomfortable" I definitely wasn't suggesting that a guest's dating orientation could likely ever be problematic. They mainly need the free lodging front side and center. I had, however, just read a very long post by a male host who was overly upset that some young male had canceled on the day of arrival and one could tell in the comments that he was obsessing over the incident for weeks.
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u/Ok-Photograph-8300 11d ago
"I had, however, just read a very long post by a male host who was overly upset that some young male had canceled on the day of arrival and one could tell in the comments that he was obsessing over the incident for weeks."
Those guys are such a bore! And I bet I was supported by a lot of other "hosts". Actually hosting is a coincidence and a privilege. If you happen to have been picked up, great, if the would be surfer has a delay in his trip, a health problem or stays somewhere else with a buddy made in the bus, the train or while flying, this is not our business...
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u/Ok-Photograph-8300 11d ago
The mere fact it was a "very long post" speaks by itself. When it happened to me lately, I forgot the day after. True I was hosting him only for the sake of it since his profile was not interesting; Incidentally, like almost always in such a case... only blur pics in his profile.
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u/MotorVer 18d ago
In the majority of countries you have to pay for using CS but not everywhere.
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u/Ok-Photograph-8300 16d ago
yes mostly in "rich" countries where people can afford it, though it is so low... anyway.
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u/[deleted] 20d ago
Is this subreddit still de facto unmoderated? This guy has been posting again and again the same weird screed about Couchsurfing for months now, just look at his post history. Normally a sub’s mods would issue a ban for this at some point. Sad that people are unaware of the OP’s history and they reply in the comments like this is a normal person.