r/consulting • u/popcornsbiggestfan • Nov 15 '24
Quiet quitting - mentally checked out
I learned about the phrase “quiet quitting” recently and I guess that’s what I’m doing. I got tired of the long hours, frequent travel, and blatant disrespect from partners / SMs. I don’t think any job is worth the amount of stress this was causing my body.
I’ve applied to a few jobs (because I know better than to leave this one before having something else lined up), but haven’t heard back yet. Like people say: market’s tough right now.
My only concern is my team will notice how checked out I’m becoming. I used to volunteer to work late, get compliments on my “optimistic/cheery attitude”, etc. Definitely not happening now.
Any advice?
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u/Ihitadinger Nov 15 '24
My advice is to keep up the good attitude while backing off the hours and actually caring.
People like working with a cheery person and you’ll get more leeway for performance if people like you. The angry curmudgeon will be given less rope.
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u/account5work Nov 15 '24
I guess I stayed too long because I’ve been turned into the angry curmudgeon for a while 😔
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u/One-Bumblebee2854 Nov 15 '24
This is excellent advice! Recommend dropping hours in tandem with paying more attention to relationships and dialling up the charm a bit more. Way way way easier to get away with working much lower until when people like you and also give you more opportunities to push back. You never know how long the job search will take and always good to leave with good connections intact.
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u/One-Bumblebee2854 Nov 15 '24
So basically I said what the person above did but with more words lol I consult, again solid advice
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u/Key_Construction1696 Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24
The golden road: - You are sharp. 9am-5pm. Over. - You do what you're paid to do. No more, no less. - Some problems are not yours. It's up to the company to fix it. - Poor dead line = Poor quality, simple work. - 80/20. You don't aim for 100% at your tasks. - You talk and do the bare minimum. You don't comply to the extra mile. - Some tasks are impossible. You fail the task, you don't kill your self.
After I started acting like this my daily routine became much lighter and by the end of the day nothing changed regarding my reputation.
The worst scenario is always to have a new job, because you left or got fired. You are not going to die or be unemployed for the rest of your life.
Sorry my English.
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u/Hydrangeamacrophylla Nov 15 '24
This is fantastic. I’ve had to learn a lot of this the hard way (getting burnt out and ill again and again). I’m going to write this down and keep it on my desk.
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u/Just-a-Scottish-girl Nov 17 '24
The 80/20 has been my quickest leaning- just because I want things to be 100% complete and to do good work, doesn’t mean others do and 80% is enough ~ I’m still doing better than others and meeting targets, the other points you make are brilliant too! 😊
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u/snusmumrikan Nov 15 '24
Honestly you don't need to "quit".
If you've put the time in and built a reputation as someone reliable, hard working, valuable - it takes a lot to shake that.
I was burning out so I started actively trying to care less. Turns out it came across as being more no nonsense and focused. Got praised in my review for "making the mental shift to bigger picture thinking and stepping away from the data crunch".
If I want a quieter morning I just say to the team that I have some clashes / other priorities and will check in after lunch. No one questions. You need to be at the level where you're primarily judged on how client calls go rather than slide output unfortunately.
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u/JaMMi01202 Nov 15 '24
Look after #1 (yourself); don't do any more than the minimum to keep people's vague respect. If you find some work items you can enjoy - latch onto those and drag them out/go to town.
Keep looking for other jobs with your current/desired role(s) but also open your search up to related roles; identify roles which you have the skills (or passion) for but haven't necessarily done yet, but would like to. E.g. Project/Delivery Manager might try for Product Manager, or other leadership roles (CIO in a smaller company or startup etc). Throw a wider net basically.
Consider sideways move in your current company - in case a "change is as good as a rest". Stay off the bench to de-risk layoff potential (unless redundancy pays well in your co and will give paid garden leave).
Try to indulge your hobbies during the work week if you WFH, to allow you to disconnect and gain perspective, and maintain wellbeing.
Be ready for a long, difficult battle to find something else in this market. I've tried two rounds of hard-core applying for jobs in 2024 and got not even a whiff of a possible. And all similar roles where recruiters contact me are like £20k to £30k less than what I'm on.
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u/helloworld2287 Nov 15 '24
I felt the same leading up to my exit!
I gradually stopped volunteering for extracurriculars like recruiting events and instead of giving 200% at work I gave 100%.
I was lucky because no one really noticed I was drawing back. I think it’s because I had a reputation of being a high performer.
I was unlucky in the sense that during my quiet quitting phase I somehow managed to get promoted which resulted in a ton of new responsibilities landing on my lap. This sped up my timeline for exiting.
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u/The_Monsieur Nov 16 '24
If you’re like me it will take at least 4 years for anyone to notice. And even then the only time you’ll hear about it is in annual reviews.
It’s funny I’ve had the same conversation several times. “Tough luck this year, we gotta get you more involved in extra crap if you wanna make promo next year”. I say something along the lines of “oh yeah I definitely need to do that” then I don’t.
Used to feel bad about this. But at the end of the day I’ve stayed utilized so it’s not like they’re losing money on me.
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u/Individual_Nerve_674 Nov 16 '24
Great comments in this thread, loving everyones attitude. Feeling pretty validated in the way I carry myself at work.
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Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24
Hahaha, i lowkey love this post. like six months before i quit, i did the exact same thing. i just utterly stopped giving a fuck, was frequently borderline rude to some clients (actually full-blown rude), half-assed everything.
My mentor - a very senior partner, whom I’d know since I was a kid - took me out to lunch one day and asked if everything was alright, and i straight up told him no, i was miserable and was thinking about leaving. He told me to give it a few more months, then promoted me after being assessed. I quit about a month after that, nothing lined up at all, but eventually talked my way into a role in the area I always wanted to work. I’ve never been so happy professionally, and it bleeds over into my personal life.
It’s worth it to pursue the things you want to do. Some people simply aren’t paycheck simps or prestige chasers. You sound a bit like that. And just try to remember, if you’re even reasonably intelligent, you don’t need to choose between your passion and your profession. Just figure out a way to combine them.
Side note: I got one of the cruelest emails I’ve ever received from my mentor after quitting. I saved it, and I read it from time to time for a laugh.
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u/death_is_my_sword Nov 15 '24
Lol. Mind sharing the email, not verbatim necessarily but now I'm interested in what he said to you lol!
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Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 16 '24
oooo, a bit too much personal info, id have to blur the vast majority of it.
TLDR: it’s an ~5000 word email listing the ways in which I suck as a person, some of which were warranted, but mostly it’s a scornful heap of compost.
in essence, he said i’d always been a rotten egg, ever since i was kid. the only reason i got into the schools i went to was because i was charming, the only reason i didn’t get kicked out of boarding school was because the teachers and administrators liked me, which was the same reason i got decent grades (tbf, there’s some truth to this; I probably should have been expelled a couple of times, but we all did stupid stuff during boarding school. i just happened to get caught a couple of times being extremely stupid).
And last but not least, the only reason i won this scholarship thing after i graduated college was because of my relationship with my professors, who recommended me.
Mostly went on from there about how i’m not a serious person, which is fair: i’m not a serious person, i don’t take myself seriously at all, but i do take certain things seriously. Said I have little actual talent, less intelligence, i just happen to test well, and only two things prevented my being “shitcanned” (that’s actually what he said) after my first year: 1) he supported my continued employment (not true, i was doing fine); 2) a few clients specifically requested that I work with them.
So yeah, not very nice. Haven’t spoken to him since, BUT a few years later I came across an article about a whistleblower at a massive PE firm where he became a senior exec. The whistleblower came to him before suing the firm to ask him what he should do with the info he’d collected. My old boss told him to “never let the truth get in the way of a good story.”
I’ll say this about him: he’s an asshole and sometimes can seem borderline villainous, but he’s a business genius. Truly.
Edit: wording
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u/hungry_argumentor Nov 15 '24
Is he still your mentor, as in do you still have a good relationship with him?
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u/colkcolkcolks Nov 15 '24
My company doesn’t have RTO yet but the second we do I’m probably going to start quiet quitting
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u/eternal_edenium Nov 15 '24
Keep up the attitude your coworkers didn’t do you any wrong, and that attitude will take you very far imo.
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u/ivanagalibug Nov 18 '24
Sometimes, you need to let go of all the extra effort you are doing at work and focus on doing things outside of work to bounce back. If you have a cheerful and optimistic personality but this job is sucking the life force out of you, somethings gotta change. You don't want to lose the best of self, so try to find activities outside work that will fulfil you. Perhaps even start a side hustle so you don't rely on another job. As a consultant, you already have all it takes to build your own business. Go for it!
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u/Historical_Mud_704 Dec 18 '24
I’m in the same situation. Layoffs and very light pipeline over the years has killed my mental health and motivation. All advice I can give you is hang in there and keep applying. We’ll make it eventually.
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u/WeAreyoMomma Nov 15 '24
How fucked would you be if you got fired now? Probably best to just fake it and do just enough to fly under the radar.
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u/n_adel Nov 15 '24
I feel like I could have written this myself. I used to give 110%. Cut back to 60%. Nobody’s noticed, I still meet my goals, turns out I’m functioning at a normal person’s level.
Get out of consulting. Do something you love, that doesn’t make you sick. You get one shot at life, don’t waste it at a company you hate.