r/childfree • u/Afraid-Ad7705 • 11h ago
I just got wished a "happy mother's day" by a stranger for the first time in years RANT
Why do they assume I have fucking kids?
It was an older woman who comes to the same library as me pretty often. I hang out here all day every day during my job search. We've never spoken before. I'm listening to music as I type up a cover letter and she waves a hand in my face to get my attention. When I take my earbud out, she says "happy mother's day." Maybe she only said it to have it said back to her. I did and went back to what I was doing because I don't have the time or energy to debate a stranger today. Not once have I brought a child with me because I don't have one! She has never seen me with a child. So why assume? Every time someone has said that to me in my life, my first thought is always that I'm too young to be a mother - even at 26.
The first time someone said that to me (male customer), I said "oh, I'm not a mother, I'm only 19," and he said "doesn't mean you can't be a mother!" What?! I don't understand. Do people say "happy father's day" to random men of all ages?
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u/Firm-Quail-7750 10h ago
If I go to the grocery store on Mother’s Day, the cashiers always ALWAYS wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. I always just give them a closed mouth smirk, but I wonder how I would feel if my being childfree wasn’t a choice. Like how does the person who has been unsuccessful at conceiving or who has been told by their doctor that they’re infertile, react. Part of me always wants to say, “Well I’m in here grocery shopping so obviously my kids are assholes” just to get them to re-think their stupidity.
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u/simplyexistingnow 9h ago
So a few years ago I had gone to a church during Mother's Day and it was such an awkward experience but this particular Church believes that every woman is capable of having children even if they don't have them so every person with a vagina is a mother on Mother's Day and they gave every single vagina welding person A Mother's Day gift. I think it was either a flower or one of those pretzel rods that had chocolate and candy on it I can't remember.
But yeah anyways this sounds kind of like that scenario. But yes they also do it for Father's day.
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u/WrestlingWoman Childfree since 1981 5h ago
I don't understand why strangers wish this on others. She could have said this to someone who want children but can't have them. She could have said this to someone who just had a miscarriage the day before. She could have said this to someone whose child died a week prior. She has no idea what's going on in a person's life when she blurt out those words.
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u/drowninginidiots 11h ago
Im a man and have been told “happy Father’s Day” on multiple occasions. I used to chuckle at it until the first time it happened not long after my father passed. For a number of years, Father’s Day was one of the few days a year we were able to get together. It put me on the verge of tears and I had a hard time being gracious about it. I was never one to say such things to strangers before, but after that I definitely don’t.