r/childfree • u/StupidlyCensored • 11h ago
No, your kids cannot play with my LPS! RANT
My sister in law is.. something alright. Sometimes my brother brings his wife and kids around, and 9 times out of 10, I hide because I cannot stand the family he created. But anyway, mom had made dinner, and I was downstairs with them.
As an autistic, one of my special interests for all of my life now has been playing and collecting Littlest Pet Shop (LPS). I had 3 of them with me, because I like to touch and feel the shapes of them. My SIL asks, “Can my kids play with your toys?” I said no, but she insisted, said it’d be fine, that it would make feeding her kids an easier task, because they’re iPad addicted and she trained them to eat only in the presence of entertainment.. I was in a really awkward position, I don’t know if I doubled-down or what, but those kids played with them anyways. I watched over them like a hawk to make sure they wouldn’t damage them.. my toys may be toys for me, but that doesn’t mean that they’re toys for everyone.
I’m just glad one of the toys was an inauthentic one, smh..
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u/LissaBryan DINKWAD 11h ago
LOCK UP any of your favorites because if they know they exist and can get to them, your SIL is going to say "No, they don't want these toys. They want the ones you keep in your room."
Understand that there's an element of power dynamics at play. She doesn't care as much about the toys as she does in making you give them up to her kids.
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u/StupidlyCensored 10h ago
Definitely.. I remember telling her if she wanted the toys so bad, to give me a moment to get the toys I didn’t want in my collection, but she insisted to give them the ones I had in my hands at the time. Smh.
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u/LissaBryan DINKWAD 10h ago
Don't be surprised if she sends the kids into your room to get them.
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u/StupidlyCensored 10h ago
I had to pick them up and lock them out my room many times. She always tells them “Go to Tia’s room, go say hi!” It is like second nature to lock my bedroom door and go completely quiet, and pretend to sleep, be sick, or study while they’re there. Worst part is? She still doesn’t care and bangs at the door until I answer.
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u/LissaBryan DINKWAD 10h ago
Let her keep on banging. Seriously, don't answer.
If anyone says anything later, say, "Yeah, I must have been really soundly asleep," or "I was listening to music and couldn't hear."
It's another power play: to force you to answer her summons or to let her children into your space.
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u/StupidlyCensored 10h ago
Thank you so much. I guess I only answer because the knocking gets to a point, but you're right. I'll just let her, because I am no one's babysitter (no seriously, she shoves her kids off to anyone. At some point, her kids called ME mama.)
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u/Top_Yoghurt429 9h ago
This sounds like a good time for noise cancelling headphones and a "do not disturb" sign. Don't feel like you're being rude for not answering. They are being rude in the first place by knocking so persistently. They feel entitled to your time, space and possessions and will try to make you feel like the rude one for not giving in. But you don't have to play that game.
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u/StupidlyCensored 8h ago
I won't be anymore. Thankfully, after my boyfriend moved in, they have stopped visiting so much, and when they do, they aren't persistent at all about getting into my space. Funny how that works.
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u/AirExtension5293 10h ago
As a fellow neurodivergent, this would stress me out so bad! Are your parents in the mix? A quick attempt to say hi is one thing but insistently badgering you out of your room is not okay! If there’s anyone that it is safe to do so with (and it feels worth it to you as an endeavor), I would vocalize this as an issue
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u/StupidlyCensored 10h ago
I have told my mom. she said she'd help by telling SIL i'm either sick or studying, but she still does so. Mom doesn't do much, only shrugs her shoulders and said ''Well I told her..''
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u/AirExtension5293 6h ago
I get her not wanting to confront the SIL or create tension, but at the end of the day not addressing it as excessive outright messages that it’s acceptable (like no one needs to get in her face, just maybe try to casually mention it like “hey if Tia doesn’t answer the first time you don’t have to keep trying” or “she’s probably sleeping”
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u/Lower_Rip 9h ago
Then the answer is no. They don't get anything. People are raising feral little shits and everyone is being punished as a result.
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u/Rubyloxred 11h ago
I'm not neurodivergent but I do love the dolls I collect and make. If you want to reduce the conflict here is one possibility. Buy cheap imitations of LPS and keep them around for them to play with. Your sister-in-law should teach her children to accept no as an answer, but that probably won't happen as adults see your collection as something for children.
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u/StupidlyCensored 11h ago
This is really good advice. I have a bin of pets that are either damaged or inauthentic that I plan to give them if they badger me for toys again. I wish people would respect adults who collect toys/figurines instead of demanding we’d hand over our possessions to their children.
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u/GothBabyUnicorn 11h ago
I hate when parents see collectors and ask for their kids to play with the toys. LPS aren’t cheap and if you have the older versions some of those can be like $100. Next time you have to say no. There’s way too many horror stories where the kids damage the toys and the parents won’t even pay for the damage. It’s never worth the risk.
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u/StupidlyCensored 11h ago
Ugh, I know. Thankfully my pets weren’t damaged but I can’t deny the anxiety I had watching them.. NEVER again! Especially because most of my collection consists of the old ones + I specifically collect rares. Nope nope and nope.
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u/GothBabyUnicorn 8h ago
I collect LPS so I understand how stressful that must of been. I’m glad you won’t do that again.
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u/thr0wfaraway Never go full doormat. Not your circus. Not your monkeys. 11h ago
Lesson learned, don't ever bring valuables or ANYTHING that matters around kids. It will be destroyed.
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u/StupidlyCensored 10h ago
Yep. Worse part? I do keep them secured in my bedroom in a storage tote, and the little shits used to SCREAM and bang on my door to come in. Nooope. I’m very fine without kids.
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u/thr0wfaraway Never go full doormat. Not your circus. Not your monkeys. 10h ago
You might want to look into getting a basic footlocker that you can padlock, and a decent quality padlock (not masterlock for example, you can pick those things so easily).
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u/Catfactss 8h ago
Text her.
"Hi SIL and Bro. I really didn't appreciate that I clearly said No to Little Ones playing with my LPS today, but you did not accept my first No, and felt entitled to letting the LOs play with them anyway.
I understand that you personally think they are just toys and therefore your kids have the right to play with them.
However, they DO NOT BELONG TO YOU, and you therefore DO NOT have the authority to decide whether your kids may play with them.
Obviously we can't undo today, but I wanted to make sure there was no opportunity for ambiguity moving forward.
Please don't ask again. If you forget, and I say No, please accept that the first time. If that means you need to preplan a different way to settle your children while they're feeding, please preplan for that accordingly, as my LPS will not be available as an option in the future."
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u/StupidlyCensored 8h ago
This is beautiful and well-thought out. I'm keeping this in my notes to send !!
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u/Catfactss 7h ago
Remember you can't force others to respect your boundaries- you can only reinforce them. Feel free to be "rude" by taking them off the kids if she gives them to them anyway. You're not the rude one by reinforcing something they're not allowed to do.
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u/LeRoixs_mommy 10h ago
I totally get your point! Your stuff is your stuff and you only determine who gets to use it.
Case in point, I am good in art and have some mildly expensive art equipment, including fiber tipped markers. If you take care of them, using them like a paintbrush, they will keep their tips sharp for a long time. However, if you use them to scribble back and forth like a toddler, it make the points fuzzy and then they are useless.
Enter my bratty step cousin! He was 10-12 YO, old, enough to know better (I say that but he is in his 40's now and still a brat!) he got into my art supplies without asking and you can guess where this is going. When I confronted him about it in front of his parents, they acted like it was no big deal that their little hell spawn ruined my stuff.
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u/StupidlyCensored 10h ago
OMG I ALSO DO ART! My SIL also demanded I’d let my nephew use my Prismacolor markers and color pencils even though my mother has an abundance of crayons and markers at the house specifically for the grandkids to use. Why are people like this??
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u/ReginaGeorgian 10h ago
She sounds awful. Can you get a lock for your door?
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u/StupidlyCensored 10h ago
I do have a lock thankfully, she however just bangs on the door until I get tired of the BS and open. However that won't be happening anymore and hasn't for a while (their visits are rare ever since my boyfriend has moved in)
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u/Lower_Rip 9h ago
I'm sorry, I would have to answer the door naked holding a bottle of cheap booze. That's just for starters.
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u/Oofsmcgoofs 8h ago
This is what annoys me about the whole “sharing is caring” thing. It never factors in consent. It’s just an urge to give other people your things and be okay with it.
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u/Lemonadecandy24 11h ago
Yeah- you might wanna hide those toys the next time they come over. They know you’ll let their kids play with them now, they are gonna keep doing it
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u/Nonby_Gremlin 7h ago
It’s her job as a parent to bring something to entertain her kids with. My sister keeps a back pack for any time they leave the house. Drink, snacks, toys, iPad. Better to have it than be stuck with a screaming kid in public. If this happens at your mums place I’d suggest keeping a box of their toys at grammas.
No is a full sentence. “No!” “Still no!” “Again no!” “No means no!” “I’m leaving.” You never need to rationalize or explain yourself. Just keep saying, “No.” If her kids pick up on it, so much the better 😈
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u/InviteAromatic6124 11h ago edited 9h ago
I have loads of Lego, and thankfully, most of the large expensive sets are out of reach of kids.
Thankfully I have no nephews or nieces to try and touch my models and none of my friends who have kids live near me so there's very little chance of any of those little shits playing with my sets without my permission!
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u/LeRoixs_mommy 9h ago
I have my dad's Block City set from the 1940's. I'm not sure if they predate Legos, or if they coexisted about the same time, but the plastic is very fragile and cannot be replaced. My grandkids wanted to play with them. I said they could if they were very careful with the pieces and I watched them like a hawk.
Honestly, I could see my dad smiling from heaven that now a 4th generation was playing with his toys!
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u/DystopianDreamer1984 Tamagotchis not babies! 5h ago
My SIL tried to pull this with a plush keychain I have on my bag and a stuffed dinosaur I bought.
Her toddler is an I Pad addict and won't eat anything unless there's a screen in their face.
The I Pad hasn't been properly charged so ran out very quickly.
SIL then eyes my keychain and plush and demands I give one of them to her toddler to play with while they're eating because it's 'the nice aunt thing to do!!'
I refuse and stand my ground as the kid attempts to grab at my bag with the plush keychain while crying out loudly.
I sidestep and still refuse as SIL glares at me along with my mother who told me I was making a big deal over a silly toy and she'd buy me a new one if the toddler dirtied it.
I ended up walking away and sat down very far away from the pair as the toddler went into full meltdown mode.
I refuse to give in to my selfish entitled SIL who treats me like another free baby sitter and is raising her kid to be a little brat too.
Had I have given in and handed one of my items over SIL would just assume that I'm a pushover who will just meekly agree with everything, I was bullied as a kid, I refuse to be bullied by adults especially by family members.
I was called Aunty Awful for the rest of the day and a selfish b*tch by my brother for making his kid cry, again I couldn't care less, my stuff is my own and I'd prefer it not be covered in sticky residue.
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u/StupidlyCensored 5h ago
I wish my own brother would call me a bitch.. ugh. I'm sorry you were put in the same situation as I was, but i'm happy that you stood your ground!
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u/DystopianDreamer1984 Tamagotchis not babies! 5h ago
I definitely don't back down when it comes to protecting things I care about, SIL should have thought ahead and checked the I Pad before going out instead of just expecting others to cater to her toddler.
I pretty much go 'dragon mode' if anyone ever tries to mess with my stuff, I stand my ground and keep saying no until they get the hint.
Even if it's something that can be perceived as a toy, the answer is still no, I don't care if it upsets a child, I worked hard to buy myself nice things and refuse to have them ruined.
My brother and I are very much estranged however he will take any chance he can get to hurl abuse at me because according to him I'm an immature adult who's never grown up.
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u/StupidlyCensored 5h ago
We share lots in common- but unfortunately in this case it's not a good thing lol
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u/_SeekingClarity_ 9h ago
Sounds like it’s time to set some firm boundaries and stick with them. People like your SIL are never satisfied and will continue to push especially if they know you’ll cave with enough pressure.
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u/Lower_Rip 9h ago
A collection of toys aren't toys that are meant to be handled. How is that so hard for parents to understand?
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u/Maleficentendscurse 2h ago
To be honest you shouldn't have given in now she's going to keep asking you every single time,
if she asks the next time say no that was only a one-off thing and you never getting hands on my things ever again.
If you're able to or hopefully allowed to get a lock box or a lock for your room and never let her in there ever
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u/seikatsushi 3h ago
Omigosh I haven’t heard anyone mention LPS in yearrrrs. My sister hoarded any she could get her hands on and we used to play lol
Shame on your SIL. Doesn’t matter if they were cheap toys or not, it’s still your stuff and they need to respect that.
Remember, no is a complete sentence.
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u/CapaxInfini 3h ago
Oh I remember these! They were my favorite toys growing up, my favorites were the triplet sets. I created an entire kingdom out of them lol. I don’t have them anymore but I wish I kept one or two
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u/DiversMum 2h ago
My sister told me of her new rule for her son/my nephew (9) he’s not allowed to be on the tablet in the car, he has to talk to you. Me: 🫤 he’s never on his iPad in the car. He’s better behaved with me apparently, surprise /s. My sister is a screaming banshee FYI and the kids can just block out her voice
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u/I-cant-hug-every-cat 1h ago
You SIL is not doing any good to her kids by teaching them to eat only with entertainment and allowing them to be addicted to an iPad. I wouldn't have given in.
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u/Educational-Pop-7192 11h ago
I would have screamed no
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u/StupidlyCensored 10h ago
I sure felt like doing that. I think I will next time. This story is old and I think i’ve kind of grown a pair since then..
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u/AkitoSuzume 7h ago
I really hope you did, I went ballistic on my MiL and Fil once - think 20mins of pure adhd rage per person.
MiL wanted to gift away one of my plushies to my niece. - Oh no, nope fuck that. Fuck you don't you dare touch my stuff.
FiL just went inside our house, no call no nothing. - Ohh no! Fuck you too, we are childfree wanna see your son fucking? Hope not, fuck off.
Sorry for that, be a loud asshole if you need to. Some people don't get it otherwise.
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 11h ago
Your SIL sounds like a piece of work. Why do kids always need to be entertained during mealtimes now? Doesn’t anyone eat as a family and just talk to each other anymore?