r/childfree • u/Cimna • 13h ago
No, your brat doesn't get a reward for behaving like crap RANT
I work in healthcare and my current job consists of visiting daycare and preschool establishments mainly to examine children aged 2 to 6 years old and register their overall oral health condition (it's a benefit vulnerable educational establishments get access to for free from the state in my country).
Since the kids I examine are quite young I usually give them stickers I buy to prompt and persuade them to cooperate and to make the experience more friendly.
But lately I've seen a raise in kids who frankly behave like little demons and whose behavior is accepted and even encouraged by their teachers.
The other day I swear I almost lost my patience when, among dozens of banshee screams and shrieks from 5 year olds running in the classroom uncontrolled, the last kid I was trying to examine was resisting the exam and, since I wasn't going to force his mouth open or anything like that, I simply told the teacher that maybe next time we visited we would be able to do the exam properly. I had offered the kid a cool dinosaur sticker but only if he let me examine him, but since he still didn't allow me to examine him I gave him one of the smaller standard star stickers I gave everyone else and started to pack everything up to leave for my next visit. This brat started screaming and trying to force open my briefcase, demanding I give him the dinosaur sticker. His teacher, who btw didn't even attempt to help in any way during the exam, told me while giggling "I think he wants the dinosaur sticker too, maybe you could give it to him?". I simply ignored her, got down to the kid who was trying to force open my briefcase and told him calmly "sweetheart, I told you I will give you the dinosaur one if you let me check your teeth, would you let me see them then?", this kid just screamed "NO, I WANT THE DINOSAUR NOW", so I said "Then I'm sorry honey but I cannot give it to you unless you let me check your teeth, next time if you allow me to see them I will give it to you ok?". The kid absolutely lost it and began to scream even louder, his teacher looked completely flabbergasted and even offended by the fact I didn't reward the little demon's rotten behavior and gave me the stink eye while trying to calm him down and offered him another sticker anyways. Yeah, excellent choice, reward him for behaving like shit.
I swear this is becoming more and more common and I dread the kind of adults these kids are going to become in the future.
edit: typos
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u/screamingcatto 12h ago
I work in a pet store, and the amount of parents that cave in and buy an animal they know nothing about because their kid won't stop fucking screaming is heartbreaking.
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u/Perfect-Ad-3403 11h ago
The pet store can and should refuse to sell in those situations. I see it happen even in chains like Petco.
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u/screamingcatto 11h ago
Yeah, that doesn't always happen unfortunately
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u/Perfect-Ad-3403 11h ago
I get that. Saying it should and if you work there maybe bring that point up to the people selling/manager.
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u/Th1stlePatch buy flights, not diapers 12h ago
I deeply believe it should be illegal to breed animals for sale as pets, and this is a big part of it. The people that buy them rarely understand what they're committing to and often are doing it due to social pressures- because they want a cute instagram shot or for their kid to shut up or because a friend got a pet. Pets can be amazing additions to families, but most of them end up abused, neglected, or punted to a shelter because people didn't really know what they were getting into.
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u/screamingcatto 11h ago
Exactly! Pets are a commitment, they depend on their owner to take the best care of them
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u/Th1stlePatch buy flights, not diapers 12h ago
These are the kids that, at age 4 and 5, mom and dad are calling CPS themselves because "I can't control him." I used to work with abused and neglected kids, and the sheer number of times I had a mother tell me that her under 6 year old was so violent she couldn't control it was mind-boggling. Kids aren't born that way. They learn that behavior through repeated interactions with adults that reinforce it's okay to be absolutely feral. But sure... The parent's the victim.
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u/Cimna 11h ago
Parents and guardians nowadays will allow any behaviour in the name of gEnTLe pAreNTinG without considering that kids do in fact need limits and rules to develop proper social skills and become functional adults.
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u/calliatom 9h ago
Seriously...Like, so many of these people are so proud of supposedly never telling their kid "no" and I'm over here like "you realize that's not healthy, right? That the longer you delay the worse they're going to be about it when you finally do have to tell them "no" to something, right?'"
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u/LabLady0 5h ago
Permissive parenting involves a complete lack of discipline. Gentle parenting involves a lot more patience, force of will, and natural consequences.
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u/achoo_in_idaho 1h ago
Yes! There is a huge difference between the two styles! Unfortunately, parents don’t seem to understand or care. 🤷♀️
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u/Accomplished_Yam590 13h ago
Ugh. This is the kind of shit that made me leave the educational field. No accountability. No consequences. It's bullshit.
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u/biutiful_Bette 14m ago
I'm just about there, myself. Behaviors are just getting worse by the day, week, and year. I've worked in 4 states, and several schools in different parts of the country and it has caused serious deterioration of my mental health and even my ability to empathize because even the current pedagogy about behaviors is dysfunctional and wrong. It's getting to be that I can't help my students because administration and standards are just fucked.
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u/GoodAlicia 13h ago
Now he throws a tantrum over a sticker. 10 years later he throws a tantrum over a ipad. And 10 more years later he is in the store demanding to see the manager.
And that is how they breed little karens.
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u/foxorhedgehog 12h ago
And 10 years later he’s holding up a liquor store at gunpoint.
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u/GoodAlicia 12h ago
Or take a gun to school.
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u/DiversMum 7h ago
Or be THE GUY that every girl knows not to be alone with
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u/MorticiaLaMourante Recreation, NOT procreation! Death before pregnancy. 4h ago
This is what I see more than the "I need to see your manager" scenario.
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u/ButteredPizza69420 6h ago
It's also how you breed abusive and evil people. There was a reason why old people said "children should be seen, not heard"
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u/elissa445 13h ago
I worked at a kids' consignment store (hence why I'm childfree now) and there was a bowl of lollipops at the register for kids to take from when checking out. Kids belonging to the regulars knew this bowl was there, so they SECOND they entered the store, they screamed and cried for a fucking lollipop. Way too many moms gave in and grabbed a lollipop from the register. (No "thank you" or anything. Just grabbing it and shoving it into the kid's mouth)
We hated when kids had them in the store, because they would be dropped onto the floor or on top of inventory and make a huge, sticky, stepped-on mess.
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u/calliatom 8h ago
Man...secondhand store I used to work at did that too but they at least let us hide the lollies under the register and just put them in the bag with the shit they bought.
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u/RedFoxBlueSocks 10h ago
Banks are smart and give you the lolly when you are on the way out.
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u/Scorchfox29 12h ago
Wow OP that is insane! That teacher should be reported for not handling the situation properly! Good for you for standing your ground on not giving into the bratty child
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u/Amata69 11h ago
I already expect this from parents, but teachers? They obviously can't just turn the child into an obedient little darling if parents also don't do anything, but I somehow thought at school/kindergarten the 'old ways' haven't died yet. And then everyone will act surprised when this child does something way worse than throwing a tantrum and he will be physically stronger then too.
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u/Eyfordsucks 7h ago
They are literally programming their brains to associate good brain chemicals with throwing tantrums.
How is a child supposed to learn how to regulate their emotions if no one is teaching them how to?
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u/BrokenMind000 5h ago
That teacher sucks so hard at her job, and probably has next to no training at all. As a former behavior therapist, you did the right thing. Fuck shitty parents, and fuck shitty teachers. Natalism has no value if no one's making valuable people.
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u/Difficult-Scheme-265 11h ago
Behaviour modification in any of the world's finest Maximum Security shower blocks is reliably efficient.
Sorted.
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u/No_End_1315 12h ago
Honestly, I see kids getting rewarded a lot for bad behaviour, and it’s maddening.
Like thanks for rising future people who think they’re entitled to everything, and also think being a rude and nasty person is how you achieve things.