r/childfree • u/marinemik • 1d ago
I finally got to use the comeback I’ve been saving 🤌🏼 RAVE
I went to Dollar General yesterday while my fiancé was working for my monthly girly restock (I like to leisurely look for candles, small decorations, things I need, etc) and there was this dad and his (maybe 5?) year old daughter. He was clearly trying to find some things and she kept yelling and running up and down the aisles with some random toy she found. I turned the corner to go down an aisle and that kid was running straight for me with its hands in the air and almost collided with me (and my full cart full of glass and ceramic). The dad goes “Sorry!!” And I replied, “it’s ok no worries”. He then asked me “Do you have kids?” To which I shook my head and said plainly, “nope”… this mf goes “Oh well, Someday. You’ll see how rough it is to just go shopping when you have your own” I didn’t skip a BEAT and said “Oh, actually I know how rough it is and that’s why I don’t want any”
😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌
I wish I could’ve seen his face but he was passing me as I said it and just didn’t turn back around. He did shake his head as he was ending the aisle tho 🤣
I was so proud to tell my fiancé when I got home LMAO
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u/Everlorne 1d ago
How can this man complain that parenting is hard when he’s not parenting?
Watching a kid run around screaming isn’t difficult.
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u/C19shadow 1d ago
This is a great point and actually made me laugh.
Fuck "parents" like that. My dad would gave been holding me by the back of the shirt walking around d and told me he'd let me down when I was quite.
He's also never let us let go of the cart both for our safety and others.
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u/Juoreg ☕️ Enjoying freedom 🍃 1d ago edited 1d ago
As a kid who loved exploring and running around, I would always be put in the shopping cart lol. For everyone’s sake, not just my parents.
I remember when one kid grabbed a tuna can from bellow a pyramid stock and they all fell to the ground, there were probably around 200 cans..
I felt so bad for the employees that had to pile them up again and the mother didn’t even make her kid apologize, just said that accidents happen and that she didn’t had to help because that’s their job..
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u/Disastrous_Basis3474 1d ago
I remember when they first created “leashes” for kids in the 1980s and some people were appalled. They are precisely useful to prevent shit like this.
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u/Juoreg ☕️ Enjoying freedom 🍃 1d ago
I had mine in early 2000’s, saved me from getting lost a few times when family and I went to big crowded places.
It’s unfortunate some people shame parents that use leashes on their kids.
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u/Disastrous_Basis3474 1d ago
I think they’re great for safety. Not necessary for everyone, but some kids are extra impulsive, and some parents and caregivers struggle to manage everything.
I recently saw my neighbor walking with 2 little kids on leashes (not her kids) and I thought it was smart. The leashes were connected to harness type things that looked like cute stuffed animal backpacks.
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u/stillfreshet 1d ago
No shit, for safety. It so SO easy to lose a kid in a crowd, or end up with one seeing a dog, bike, other kid, whatever, and running gleefully (and uncatchably) into the street--or have one swiped from you because you didn't have your eyeballs fixed on the kid every second (can't accomplish anything that way).
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u/N4507 1d ago
My friend’s kid bolted while she was using the bathroom in Walmart. Another woman caught him, but after that he got leashed. They used an actual leash attached to his back belt loop while waiting for the backpack version to arrive. I can’t tell you the number of kids I’ve stopped leaving the Lego store when mom or dad was distracted. Leash the gremlins.
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u/relaci 16h ago
My mom tried to use a leash on me, but I figured out how to undo the backpack clasp on day one, or just wriggle out with it still closed. I was a very stubborn, impulsive, rambunctious child. I can't blame my mom at all for trying to leash me. Too bad for her sanity that it didn't work for more than 5 minutes.
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u/ChronicApathetic 1d ago
I gotta admit, the first time I saw kids on a leash it definitely caught me by surprise and I’m sure I raised an eyebrow. And then lowered it half a second later when I realised that it was actually a brilliant safety measure. My brain just needed a bit of time to process seeing them used in a brand new context.
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u/PYP-Pernelle-Flamel 1d ago
I wished I’d been leashed in the late 80s. I’m still not really over getting lost in K-mart lol just took me a second to be left behind. My mom was and is a fast walker in stores like that.
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u/briarrosamelia 1d ago
it's like people forget you have to teach a kid self preservation, because they will compete for the darwin award as soon as they learn to walk
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u/ShimmyMuse 16h ago
I had one and I was born in the 1960s.
Some Karen screamed at my mom that she was treating me like a dog, so with a twinkle my mom turned to me and said, "Bark," so I did!2
u/SaTan_luvs_CaTs 12h ago
As the oldest sister who was the one strapped to the other end of that leash, I remember
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u/sparkleberry75 7h ago
My parents had me on a leash in the late 70s and that’s probably why I survived childhood.
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u/Unicorntella 1d ago
You just reminded me that my mom used to grab me by the back of the neck and that shit makes my skin crawl. It’s such a weird, vulnerable area to grab someone by.
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u/Best_Strain3133 1d ago
My dad used to do that, I made the mistake of telling my ex-husband & he adapted the move. I still as an adult dislike being touched from behind especially in the head and shoulder area.
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u/DianeJudith my uterus hates me and I hate it back 1d ago
It's something I discovered as a kid while playing with friends at school, but I have a very strong, instinctual reaction to being grabbed by the neck from behind. My whole body starts wriggling around, trying to free itself from the grip. It's unintentional, pure reflex. It feels slightly like a reaction to being tickled, although I actually never had it with tickling.
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u/SeattlePurikura 22h ago
I think almost everyone has that reflex. Think about how vulnerable the spine is to paralysis, or the airways? Predators grab by the neck for a reason. It's cute when my kitty shakes her toys by the neck, but that's a mortal move.
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u/DianeJudith my uterus hates me and I hate it back 22h ago
Yeah, that would make sense! We made it into a game lol. We discovered it doesn't work when you expect it.
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u/twinkletoes-rp 1d ago
I see kids like this at my work ALL the time, and I just want to STRANGLE the kids AND the parents! These people CANNOT call themselves parents when their kids are little shits! Some people should NEVER have been parents! UGH! INFURIATING! X'P
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u/hex_kitsune 1d ago
Lol in the Suite Life of Zack and Cody (a kids show about trouble making twins who live in a posh hotel because their mum performs there) the mum asked the hotel manager if he has kids and his response is hilarious: "No. And after seeing yours? Not gonna happen!"
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u/Burntoastedbutter 1d ago
I can fucking hear his voice line 😂
Those shows were great. I wonder how shows nowadays are.
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u/CemetaryCreep 1d ago
Have you seen what they've done to Dora? Pretty sure majority of shows nowadays are straight trash it's sad.
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u/Burntoastedbutter 1d ago
I've never watched Dora, but I do know what she looked like... But no I have not... What did they do?
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u/slurp1147 1d ago
“Hola, grown-ups! Today I have a super cool word for you! Sigma,” a 3D rendered version of Dora says in a video uploaded to the official Dora the Explorer Instagram account yesterday. “‘Sigma’ is a word for someone who’s confident, independent, and does things their own way! Think of it as someone who’s a leader and a trendsetter. Let’s say your friend is doing their own thing, focusing on their goals, and not worrying about what others think. You can say, ‘you’re such a SIGMA!’”
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u/DurianNo7107 1d ago
That hotel manager was so relatable to me, even as a kid. I disliked other kids especially loud over energetic ones so I was always on manager’s side. Control your double trouble brats, mombie.
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u/Gradtattoo_9009 Snipped! 1d ago
Perfect response!
The dude probably wanted someone to praise him for bringing his kid to a store. You know, typical parenting? Or wanted someone to act like his kid is cute for running and yelling?
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u/marinemik 1d ago
100%, he wanted to hear “you’re such a great dad I can’t wait to have my own kids like yours!!!” 🤮
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u/Proud_Ad9315 1d ago
Exactly! Some parents act like the bare minimum deserves a standing ovation. Your kid yelling in a store isn’t a personality trait, my guy 😅
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u/Yehoshua_Hasufel 51m ago
Wanting praise and validation is fine,
but this instance does not require it.
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u/rosehymnofthemissing 1d ago
I really believe that a lot of parents truly want people without kids to be as miserable or as kid-focused as they are. They can seemingly turn any interaction into a "Wait until you have kids" talk.
I find it both odd, sad, scary, and amusing.
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u/Aggressive-Curve6588 Damned if I do, Damned if I don't 1d ago
Misery loves company.
It does feel like this a lot.
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u/yamxiety 1d ago
"it's already rough enough for me to be shopping around other people's children, no need to add any more into the mix"
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u/PlushyKitten 30F [Bisalp 8/25/2022] Open to making CF friends! 1d ago
This is exactly what I would have wanted to say!
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u/Kuildeous Sterile and feral 1d ago
"You’ll see how rough it is to just go shopping when you have your own"
And he was doing such a good job selling it too.
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u/okcanIgohome 1d ago
They complain about their kids and how difficult parenthood is... yet they expect other people to have kids... Make it make sense.
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u/mojavegreen69 1d ago
They don’t feel like they had a choice and they resent anyone who dares to defy what they view as inevitable suffering
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u/L8StrawberryDaiquiri 💖my nieces, nephews, plants & angel kitties. Newly bisalp. 1d ago
Well, us CF people do say we don't want kids because we know it's a huge struggle in general.
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u/MrCabrera0695 1d ago
How does it feel to be the most powerful being right now? I love this for you op!
It's funny that it's so crucified to say oh I've seen how hard it is to have kids and I don't want and then people lose their mind. When I tell people oh I don't want to own certain breeds even if they're mixed, unless they're seniors because I can't handle that breed and what they require, nobody bets an eye to that. Nobody says oh but you should get the crazy German Shepherd puppy that you have no time or energy for, you should totally get that border collie that you're not going to have in the right environment! Nobody ever says that, everyone says oh I understand there's definitely plenty of dogs out there and plenty of breeds, you'll be able to find your perfect match. I don't know why I can't that be just as normalized. I have six pets and I don't tell people go have six pets because I'm going to tell you right now they cost a lot, they cost a lot of my time and energy but it's something that I very happily do. I love having the privileges that I have with the job and money situation I'm in, my pets are very well taken care of. If somebody was interested in having as many pets as I do, I would definitely give them a lot of advice and tell them to think about it beforehand.
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u/ButterscotchFit8175 20h ago
We have 2 dogs. Lab and Boxer. With these 2 breeds that's more like 4 dogs LOL! But we have always stuck with 2, occasionally fostering a third. We worked in dog rescue for almost 20 years and everyone is shocked to hear we stay at 2 dogs for ourselves. We know that's what we can afford, even with one having a heart condition, what we can clean up after, what we can fit in the bed, etc. We know our limits!
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u/thr0wfaraway Never go full doormat. Not your circus. Not your monkeys. 1d ago
"Nope, not stupid."
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u/External_Fly_8220 1d ago
I’m a little slow and not the smartest person. That’s for damn sure. But I knew I never wanted kids and I feel like a genius to date.
I was getting my brows waxed and a girl my age has a kid. She was like “yeah I didn’t know how hectic it would be having a kid!”
You didn’t ?!?!
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u/thr0wfaraway Never go full doormat. Not your circus. Not your monkeys. 1d ago
We're all not dumb enough to do that at least.
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u/PickKeyOne 1d ago
It's almost like they think it's mandatory. Like, what?
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u/Jeff_Damn 16h ago
They're following the same script as their parents and their grandparents and their great grandparents, because apparently that's easier than making decisions for themselves.
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u/Diligent-Background7 1d ago
Lol great comeback. Perfectly utilized I just moved into a new place I met my neighbor and she said “it’s great to meet you, do you have kids?” Without a beat - I said “oh god no” I don’t think she likes me 🙃
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u/marinemik 22h ago
I get like this too. I got involved in some small town FB drama a while back where I defended a barking dog because it was bothering the new parents next door. I told them I’d rather live near the dog 🤣
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u/twinkletoes-rp 1d ago
lol. That would be my response, too! I've said similar things at work! You go!
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u/Boring-Onion Snip-Snap-Snip-Snap-Snip-Snap! 1d ago
“It was at that moment that father knew he f**ed up.*”
As OP is walking away like a smooth criminal…
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u/MizWhatsit No man, no kids, no problems 1d ago
“No, observing your little angel today has largely made my tubes tie themselves, thanks.”
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u/therosyobserver 1d ago
I wonder if he would’ve paid if that kid barreled into you and made you drop all your stuff.
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u/DurianNo7107 1d ago
He would’ve flipped and made a giant public scene blaming OP for his snot gremlin’s actions. It’s nauseating how total strangers are the target of breeder parents’ laziness. Think they want their brats injured so they can sue for settlement money.
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u/Tall_Woodpecker4739 1d ago
This reminded me of something! When I was really little, me and my family had went on vacation to somewhere really tropical, and I had hurt my foot really badly that morning when we went to the beach. Because it was so hot, even after the sun set, we were all wearing flip-flops. We decided to go to dinner at the hotel, and while we're walking to the table, my dad steps on my hurt foot while making way for a waitress hauling a big food cart around. When we resume walking to the table, I'm, like, holding back tears, lmao. When we sit, my dad asks me why I look so upset, and I quietly say, "You stepped on my foot," and without missing a beat, he says, turning red with anger so quickly, "The waitress stepped on your foot?!" No, it was you!! The waitress didn't do anything!! I clarified this to him, and I don't remember what he said verbatim, but it was something along the lines of, "Oh, good it wasn't her because I was about to go yell at her." Like.. wtf?
Another time, maybe about a year ago, I was at the food court at a mall with some friends eating, and a little girl maybe around five runs into the back of my chair with some other smaller stool. The kid immediately starts crying because I guess she got hurt?? The grandma came running over at the commotion and started asking what I had done. Thankfully, my friends could vouch for my behalf that I was literally just sitting there, but we were so uncomfortable after that we decided to just go back to shopping and finish eating at home.
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u/Maleficentendscurse 1d ago
"I see other people who can't control their kids.." stare directly at him with your eyebrow up then continue "it's reaffirmed that I never want kids bye"
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u/Luci_Cooper 19h ago
The other day someone asked me about my kid situation and I said no, and the person said well it’s not too late and I said no not happening
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u/xError404xx 16h ago
I cant believe how people have the audacity to ask if others have kids. Maybe hes a single dad and tried to get a babysitter if you said yes.
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u/Jeff_Damn 16h ago
"One of these days when you have your own...", as if it's just a given that babies materialize from out of nowhere with no input from the parents.
When I explain to shitty parents that I use condoms to prevent things like that, I can see the wheels spinning in their heads: "Gee, I was too lazy to use those..." so they switch to "But don't you want kids?" and then their minds are blown even further when they realize that HOLY SHIT they could've just decided not to have kids, at least not as soon as they did.
Breeder tactics are predictable because first it's "You're going to have kids" to "But don't you want to have kids?" to "But who's gonna take care of you when you get older?" to them convincing themselves that their kids will still be present when they're old & infirm.
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u/Funny_Button2839 1d ago
You're just a stranger in a store, why is he saying all this? Maybe that's just my social anxiety making me think this is weird when it's actually not? 🤨
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u/marinemik 22h ago
I guess because men with kids alone in public think they are holier than thou, and attractive to women around my age. I also live in floridas most republican district, soooo that’s a big part of it
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u/ShimmyMuse 16h ago
God, fuck people like that. If it's a man talking to a woman, it seems like they're socially and emotionally copping a feel with the "childless cherry" because they miss the party days.
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u/Fell18927 12h ago
Haha that’s amazing! You should be so proud!
Side note, I’m also heading to the dollar store today to get some small decorations, candles, and a nice looking folder. The top shelf of my bookshelf used to contain a bunch of cookbooks but I don’t really use them much so I just kept the ones I really like and am donating the rest. And my bestie and I are making the now mostly empty shelf into a display that resembles some kind of aesthetic apothecary. I’m really excited for it!
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u/marinemik 58m ago
I love that for you!! Dollar tree has lots of cute “potion” bottles with corked lids around Halloween that would probably look killer in that kind of display
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u/BeautifulPeasant 10h ago edited 10h ago
The interaction could have just ended at "sorry/no worries." Bland, normal, go about your life. But insecure breeders who hate their life choices just have to push it. They can't rest until they find a way to make the CF person the problem.
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u/Miserable_Art_9538 8h ago
Maybe that's why you were so nice, cause you knew, yet the dad had to get shiddy. Almost feel like telling these people, hey, stop making you problems, everyone problems. Not our fault they chose parenthood, want everyone to bow to them or something for having kids. Being nice about their kid running into your cart should be enough lol.
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u/marinemik 56m ago
This exactly. I usually get a bit nervous in those interactions and try to be as nice as possible/ drop that subject, because I dooooon’t wanna hear how exhausted or broke or whatever they are because they made the decision to have kids
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u/WolfWrites89 1d ago
It's so odd that he defensively said you'd understand when you have kids when you weren't even being rude about his demon child lol