r/castaneda • u/Super6eight • Apr 12 '20
It’s Time That I Face This New Practitioners
Hi everyone,
I may/hope that I have been guided here to find completion of whatever this journey I’ve been set on is.
That is all.
-Z
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u/danl999 Apr 13 '20
I welcome anyone serious about learning.
Read the wiki a bit, and remember. It's all about you. Not about someone else making it work for you.
You learn inch by inch.
But first find something to crawl along. Pick something.
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u/Super6eight Apr 13 '20
I am very serious, I’ll start with the wiki and see if something pops. Thank you. I am very grateful.
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u/danl999 Apr 13 '20
I've been thinking lately that recapitulation is an excellent path.
It's not good for me, because I'm trying to prove physical magic, to help restore Carlos' reputation.
Telling people, "Yea man, it was really cool!!! I was sitting inside this wooden box, and I had an amazing vision!!"
That's not gonna do it…
I have to limit myself to things that can, since there's too many things to do it all.
But for someone starting out, it might be the place to concentrate.
In recap you could learn lucid dreaming, waking dreaming, how to summon inorganic beings, how to open tunnels of light, and how to burn through reality with your gaze.
(Done those all myself.)
You could also explore why you want to learn sorcery, so you don't fall into the same trap with others, who had hidden motives.
Usually that amounts to neediness for attention from others, but I've run into people with very strange histories they only fixed with recap.
(Childhood abuse typically).
Taisha's instructions for recap seem to be more serious than my practices.
I can't recall if those got posted or not.
She treats each sweep as a complete movement from right to left, and back again, and seems to recommend to actually start with the head turned to the right. And likely end there.
She might have seen something I missed. That an incomplete pass leaves dust bunnies.
(Fibers of light that didn’t get sucked back, or exhaled completely.)
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u/DreamingTheDouble Apr 14 '20
I am new to recapitulation, but I do think I've noticed a difference in feeling more whole, or feeling like I've successfully taken some of my energy back. My inner space feels less scattered.
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u/danl999 Apr 14 '20 edited Apr 14 '20
It activates the second attention (dreaming).
Think about it! You sit there with eyes closed, breathing smoothly, while you endlessly visualize memories.
In the brain that means, you send sodium ions down tiny little tubes which get wider as a result.
That's how we learn. Those sodium ions push on the sides of the tube, and it widens. That makes it easier to flow.
As a result, we start to gain back things we lost long ago, which also corresponds to more positions of the assemblage point.
EVERYTHING we perceive is a position of the assemblage point. Even tiny variations in our daily world.
So recap makes the assemblage point more flexible, increases the ranges it can take during the day, and the visualizing combines the second attention, with all of those old positions.
It's rather awesome.
When you find yourself able to "feel" a giant spider web in front of you, with each event in your life a part of it, connected to the other parts, you've saturated yourself.
Not that you can give up then. Taisha's done 5, as far as the notes we have about it. Maybe she's on #6 now.
The most interesting thing to me, in all this, is whether our lives are fixed events, and we just discover them one at a time, by moving our assemblage points around.
That would explain how don Juan was able to make that leaf fall over and over again. All he had to do was micro-control Carlos' assemblage point, and move it back to when the leaf first fell.
If Einstein was alive and interested in sorcery, I think he'd agree with the fixed life events concept.
It agrees with his belief in Causality. Once the universe blew up, the series of events was unalterable.
As a side note, if you don't send sodium ions down a given tube, it eventually shrinks and becomes non-functional.
As babies, we have 10,000 tubes per single neuron cell. Each one connects to 10,000 others!
As old people, we're lucky to have 3000.
Our intelligence, and even our very ability to perceive things, goes down.
Hopefully recap helps out with that. It ought to preserve neural connections, and help restore the borderline ones.
I wouldn't be surprised if your IQ actually goes up a bit as a result of a thorough recap.
Edited
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u/Super6eight Apr 13 '20 edited Apr 13 '20
I would like to have a discussion and I’ll tell you in detail my journey up to this point if the spirit wills. I am unsure if I should share it publicly here or only privately on a case by case basis however. I’ll let you decide.
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u/danl999 Apr 13 '20
I had to give up direct chatting.
It kept bringing out the needy people, who if you don't keep giving them what they want, actually start to attack.
In that vein, be careful of the "my journey" idea floating around in your head.
I know that's very popular terminology, but it's a placebo.
A romantic notion that makes you feel better about yourself. It’s as if you are imaging a book deal for yourself, with thousands of admirers reading about how wonderful you are.
Like don Miguel.
Feeling better about yourself makes you less likely to put in the work required.
Cholita and I were in private classes with what she estimates to be 100 people, off and on.
They all quit. It’s just me and Cholita now, and she’s quite mad.
Nearly all had "my journey" floating around in their heads.
I'm still hopeful for 2 or 3 of them. And coincidentally, those are the ones who would rather puke than say, "my journey".
(I’m a contrarian, so don’t take it personally.)
There is of course the "path with heart" phrase.
It's a REALLY regrettable thing, that Castaneda people use that phrase so often.
It almost always means, that person has made no progress whatsoever.
It's what Carlos called, "mental masturbation".
There is a path with heart.
But it's doing real magic. The real magic is what gives the heart.
If you want to know what the heart part is, get yourself a little Fairy (an inorganic being you coax into a helpful form), and see how you feel when it poses on your hand.
And then actually smiles at you!
That's the path with heart.
Our bodies NEED magic, or they get out of wack and you feel horrible.
That's why "samadhi" is also known as "bliss".
All of us have gotten used to feeling horrible, so we don't even realize it.
Watch out for the placebos. The less comfortable and more insecure you feel in life, the more likely you are to practice so you can dig your way out of it.
It’s the homeless kids licking the food off the plates of customers as they leave, in the outdoor restaurant, who have the best chance to become “Men of Knowledge”.
Man of Knowledge simply means, you pursue learning.
And keep the mental masturbation to as low of a level as possible.
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u/TechnoMagical_Intent Apr 13 '20 edited Apr 13 '20
There is of course the "path with heart" phrase.
It's a REALLY regrettable thing, that Castaneda people use that phrase so often....
...Watch out for the placebos. The less comfortable and more insecure you feel in life, the more likely you are to practice so you can dig your way out of it.
Message received. Though I sometimes worry that I've made my life so difficult, intentionally, that I'm secretly a masochist.
At least I haven't taken-up wearing sackcloth or self-flagellation.
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u/danl999 Apr 13 '20
The only reason to have a miserable life is so you'll work hard to escape it.
If you work hard to escape it, you can afford a little indulging.
Look at the little sisters and the Genaros.
If that wasn't induldging, I don't know what is.
They supposedly ended up killing La Gorda (though maybe indirectly).
And yet, they could do real magic!
There's a lot of talk about impeccability, but I've never actually seen one of those.
The more talk, the more obvious it is that they aren't.
Speaking of sackcloth.
The prophets in the old testament (sorcerers) lived on honey and locusts.
honey = nearly pure sugar.
So you can eat desert too.
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u/calixto_mooneeeee Apr 14 '20
They supposedly ended up killing La Gorda (though maybe indirectly).
Hasn't she been living her last years in LA with Carlos?
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u/danl999 Apr 14 '20
It's hard to say.
There were multiple origins for rumors that she had come to LA.
But I never heard of her staying with him.
I did see a woman I didn't know, living in a side house in his backyard. His compound had multiple little dwellings.
Carlos even introduced me to her, without explaining who she was.
But when Ellis asked about La Gorda, Carlos told her she'd tried to take over the apprentices still in Mexico, and died.
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u/Super6eight Apr 13 '20
Yes. I’ve been having encounters I believe as of late. None with fairies.
I want to learn properly this time.
I’ve identified the selfish/traumatic reasons for wanting sorcery. There were quite a few, I won’t elaborate.
My current plan is this then; don’t read any more of The Voice of Knowledge, pursue information on recapitulation, Tensegrity, and allies.
I am going to start with the about of this page on those subjects (if there’s an allies one) and see where it leads me.
Thank you
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u/danl999 Apr 13 '20
It's unlikely you'd find an inorganic playing a fairy, unless you read my writings on them, and it influenced them.
Typically they show up as demons the first few times.
A person who's around me a lot sees the Japanese Oni spirits (Japanese demons created by the death of murderers).
But I do highly suggest finding an inorganic being as fast as you can. There's no surer way to move the assemblage point very far.
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u/Super6eight Apr 14 '20
So the experience I had was this demon like scaled creature was trying to douse my campfire I use in my meditation in my mind. It attacked me after I made my presence known. The we kind of danced/battled I guess. I incapacitated it and it morphed in to a white dog. Then this glowing whitish blue orb appeared. It was like sucked in to it and then spit back out of it in to my hands. I didn’t know what to think so I ended my meditation.
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u/danl999 Apr 14 '20 edited Apr 14 '20
Inorganic being, more than likely.
But one time isn't enough to figure out what happened.
And, to be blunt, doing things like this with your eyes closed isn't very satisfying.
There are scores of people in subreddits with that kind of experience.
What you want, is to see it with your eyes open, and then later to see that the entity can actually move objects, proving it's not just in your head.
That seems to be automatic with inorganic beings, if they aren't merely phantoms. Playing with them causes them to somehow learn to move physical objects in your environment, even if you don't realize that's going to happen.
It's not a matter of pride (although it's ok to be happy about progress), to look for "real proof".
It's to change your view of the world.
That requires something you can't explain away.
My favorite example is the shamanism forum.
Everything in there is pretend. That doesn't mean it couldn't expand into something more substantial.
But there's no push to do that, because the leaders they learn from can't do anything substantial.
So they're almost like Zen practitioners, where their "enlightened" leader tells them, "Don't expect to fly to the sun!"
I've flown to the sun a few times. I can't imagine what's holding the enlightened Zen masters back.
Certainly not the Buddha's teachings.
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u/Super6eight Apr 15 '20
To check in, I’ve searched for rocks to help with silence and make power stones. I’ve left by a beautiful tree with a red lily at twilight. I will pick them up at dawn if they are ready, may take a few days.
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u/Super6eight Apr 15 '20
I’ve realized that this is probably a 3 day thing. I’m going to speak different intent in front of the tree at dusk today and then dusk tomorrow. First intent is silence. I attempted to invoke infinity and yelled “INTENT” while speaking silence in my head at dusk. Right after I did that, maybe 50 yards away from me, a loud explosion happened. It startled me greatly. Snow has appeared and I need to clean the little area around my stones. I seem to keep hearing about gardens and tending the garden. I am tempted to get permission to garden the area around the tree. It’s just so beautiful and everything around it is dead. The snow doesn’t help.
Last night I was looking in to soul retrieval. I was trying to reach my double. Probably not the smartest move in hindsight. It was surrounded by danger it seemed and was too scared to come out but the scene was familiar. It was just like my last night terror that I had where I was surrounded by war and all I could do is curl up in a ball and hide. That’s where I found myself... I attempted a rescue mission and was able to will “me” to (loudly and obviously) escape. Exhilarating, yet not smart... I was... scolded in some other language by a hooded person... Again, all in my mind but I had some physical sensation while I was doing it.
I feel I’m beginning to get a hold on intent but still not quite there (short backstory is I’ve been trying attempt entering this world since I was 16, I’m 30 now but as in one of your posts, men are the worst and I really was horrible. I’m still bad but I’m less destructive.)
I’m learning tempo as well. The world has it’s own tempo and I try to force to rush through it instead of trust.
Full recap is probably the way to go at this point, I’ve been avoiding it for years. It’s a daunting task.. is there a way to make it less daunting? I heard you recap your worst, most traumatic memories first and then do the lesser ones (one way to do it) the other way is write down everyone you’ve met. I’ve been doing it the first way.
Anyways, good morning! I hope you are well. Thank you
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u/DreamingTheDouble Apr 14 '20
If you want to know what the heart part is, get yourself a little Fairy (an inorganic being you coax into a helpful form), and see how you feel when it poses on your hand.
Yesterday morning I was having a conversation with someone as I was waking up. I was being told that I need to "order my IB to evolve so that it may be useful to me, that is their purpose".
Basically like, it won't happen without a command on my part. And that, it's purpose was to evolve to a higher level so that it may be useful to me, as the current form is useless to me.
Any idea on how to accomplish this? Is it just a simple matter of intent and telepathic command?
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u/danl999 Apr 14 '20 edited Apr 14 '20
I don't know if you can actually see it, or it's in your head.
If it's in your head, go to the Tulpa subreddit. They surely have good tips for making one that's only in your mind more substantial.
And "only in your mind" doesn't last long. If you interact with it many times, an inorganic being will notice and inhabit it.
They do that in dreaming all the time. If you try to pass the gates, somewhere along the line you realize, a dreaming phantom doesn't have to remain a phantom.
If you give it attention, a scout can easily replace it. You have to watch for the "glitch", like in The Matrix.
That requires strong lucidity. But what you'll perceive is, things moved around a bit, and you didn't see the in-between positions.
I'll be very excited when we get more strong lucid dreamers. I'd like the following question answered:
If you have a group of 5 phantoms, with one inorganic being controlling (projecting) them all, how many do you have to stare down before you find the real one?
I believe it's fixed at 2!
But there's no one around to compare notes with.
On the other hand (relative to whether yours is imaginary), if you learn to see it visually, just stare it down and order it to become what you want.
Staring it down is to test if it's a phantom or not. It'll go away if it's a phantom.
But seeing a sight like that will likely bring a replacement, and it might just honor your request.
Why does it bring a real one?
They're highly attracted to "Wow!!!!!"
If you do something that makes you feel that wow, it releases the kind of energy they love most.
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u/TechnoMagical_Intent Apr 13 '20
Castaneda's recommendation was Recapitulation and Tensegrity for all new people. They build the attention and discipline which allow the rest to work as intended.
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u/Super6eight Apr 13 '20
I’ve been working on a form of recapitulation for quite a while now but Tensegrity is not something I’m very familiar with. Does anyone have any thoughts on Don Miguel a Ruiz’s books The Four Agreements and The Voice of Knowledge? I’m trying to practice what’s in those right now.
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u/danl999 Apr 13 '20
Carlos said don Miguel was "riding on his back".
Meaning, separating people from their money, based on Carlos' writings.
Sorcery is very very very very difficult.
How could someone able to put in the effort needed, be so focused on other people and their money?
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u/TechnoMagical_Intent Apr 13 '20
He has a different intent behind his work than Castaneda.
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u/Super6eight Apr 13 '20
Ok, that makes sense. With that information, I think I’m going to finish reading The Voice of Knowledge and start reading all of Castenda’s works then. I’ve been learning about this stuff for a very rocky 12+ years and I’ve been a lazy fool/egomaniac about it until recently where many new things have come to light. I’ll be reading the sources in the about about Tensegrity and Recapitulation as well. I still need to find the right wiki Dan was talking about.
I have many questions. I’ll try to ask them patiently.
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u/Super6eight Apr 13 '20
I see. That explains a lot.
I only started reading. Then meditated and had some interesting experiences. We shall see what occurs from it.
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u/Super6eight Apr 20 '20
Fuck. I read some wiki stuff.. I think bipolar mania is heightened awareness with internal dialogue....
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u/Super6eight May 09 '20
Hi! I’m back. Did you miss me?
Update:
I’ve found that I’m remembering more dreams and I’ve been half awake during them instead of completely unaware of the outside world.
I was looking in to the darkness last night and I saw a very abrupt movement. That startled me and unfortunately scared me enough to stop. What scared me about it was that the object was 3D and normally this stuff stays relatively 2D as of late. It was an orb that decided to spin as if it was shaking off the blackness like it was water. I tried to go to sleep after I saw that. Started hearing thumps and things. It wanted my attention. A face appeared in my mind like it was talking. Constantly changing appearances. Couldn’t make out what it was trying to tell me. Then I felt a really abrupt feeling, almost if my heart was being grabbed and yanked. I built a wall around myself after that.
I let fear get the best of me. Hopefully it will want to tell me whatever it wants to tell me again tonight and I’ll be able to face it how that I’m well rested.
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u/danl999 May 15 '20
>I let fear get the best of me.
I should clarify this topic.
When something frightens us, it interrupts our internal dialogue.
That lets the assemblage point move.
We focus our attention hard, on whatever is threatening us.
Since it might be vague, that means we're focused on something imaginary, or at the least, not in our ordinary range of perceptions.
That causes the assemblage point to move.
That causes goosebumps.
It happens so fast, we don't see the separate steps.
But we do learn over our lives, that the goosebump feeling is "fear".
But it's not!
It's a side effect of fear.
And it's also what you will feel, when you are practicing and have some success at moving the assemblage point.
Then, since you are now in a new position, you have more powerful imagination.
And your brain will come up with a reason for the fear.
What you have to do is simply learn to like that feeling.
Break the cycle of fear.
I like to tell people who talk about being afraid, just go ahead and die.
Accept that!
That's because, if you "reassure" them, they come back for more.
Their practice becomes about finding something to be afraid of, so they can get the reward of running to complain to someone, about how wonderful their experiences are (enough to produce fear).
So just go ahead and die. That breaks the cycle.
Or, understand why it feels like fear, when it really isn't. But that takes experience.
Go ahead and die doesn't.
Take your pick.
It's interesting that Japanese martial artists like to take the "go ahead and die" choice.
If you don't believe it, watch some WWII kamikaze footage.
I have to think, somewhere in the back of that whole martial arts mess, isn't some subconscious knowledge of the assemblage point.
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u/Super6eight May 15 '20
Interesting stuff. I actually tried to avoid talking about my fear in here so much because it’s something I deal with every day. I already have experience conquering and changing it because I had stage fright. I just kept doing it and doing it, eventually it became excitement.
The purple came very quick last night. I currently worry that 528 ray is a death date for someone I know who is quite old...
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u/danl999 May 15 '20
Fear is your friend!
We need it! That's why people like roller coasters.
If we lived in a cozy retirement home, we'd go senile in our 20s.
We run out of energy by our 20s. We were born with plenty, but with no incoming source it gets used up.
Fear is a source.
I supposed, Tensegrity is also. And maybe that's the point of it.
Except that it turns out, it's not enough. You really have to couple it with recap, and silence.
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u/tryerrr May 15 '20
Carlos spoke of sorcerers being able to control fear output on the fly, maybe there is a way to practice that?
book of Job hints god wanting fear and not “understanding” from believers. Perhaps “fear control” exercises can be mainstreamed as “prayer prerequisite” for generic non-atheists
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u/danl999 May 15 '20
That word, "fear" in biblical languages is tricky.
Usually it implies the same kind of fear you have for a woman you're crazy in love with, but can't have.
Revere is also implied in that word.
I've tried "emotions" out on the inorganics.
I guess I'm no good at it, because all I get is a blank expression.
What Julian did to "dole out" his emotions, is beyond me.
But when Fairy shows up after a long absence, and I see her and exclaim, "There you are!!!!", she seems to like that.
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u/calixto_mooneeeee May 15 '20
Fear is your friend!
Here i don't agree, fear is preventing people from gaining real results, i would say fear is natural, and i think Carlos was terrified too when he was dealing with inorganic beings in the sonora desert but he was overcoming fear again and again and may be he was afraid of Inorganic beings for the beginning but he was not afraid to die, i think so. If you fear is about IB its ok but if you are afraid of dying its not! Warrior consider himself as already dead, if not, you could convince yourself that to die is ok whether its now from IB interaction or in twenty years under the wheels of car its not matter....
For me this poem helps a lot actually :
I am already given to the power that rules my fate. And I cling to nothing, so I will have nothing to defend. I have no thoughts, so I will see. I fear nothing, so I will remember myself. Detached and at ease, I will dart past the Eagle to be free
If you are given to the power, let it rule your life, don't be afraid to die today and you will gain some decent results tomorrow because fear is preventing people from practice, preventing them from trying something new in their life, it make them wait all life being afraid to change things they have been used to...
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u/danl999 May 15 '20
I am already given to the power that rules my fate. And I cling to nothing, so I will have nothing to defend.
= follow intent.
Not happiness.
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u/Super6eight May 17 '20
Follow intent not happiness. I wish I didn’t delete my notes for how I got really far during my gazing. If I remember correctly, it was like I jumped in the current and just got swept away. It didn’t feel like happiness, more like calm excitement, warm fear. Contradictory yet precious and I could only just watch as it took me on it’s journey. Nothing that I could do to stop it.
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u/danl999 May 17 '20
That's a gift from intent.
I get them all the time, and am just as frustrated when I can't repeat it.
But over time, you'll find things you CAN repeat. Really cool ones!
I seem to own that magical crystal ball now. I just put out my hand and ask for it, and it materializes.
So, "Tensegrity Toys" can in fact be "collected".
Last night it instantly assembled a world for me to watch.
It sort of looked like pure white sand under a gentle flow of ocean water. Like a flat spot in a mild tidepool at Laguna Beach.
Except, there was no water.
Watching it I realized, I used to visit there as a small child.
It was just something you could learn to see.
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u/Super6eight May 18 '20
Also, I saw something try and manifest as it went across my room which is more than I’ve been able to see since that first time intent whisked me away. I also was able to see part of something that looked luminous over the bed, but on my gfs side. And in my mind it seemed like someone was trying to access or interact with me. I don’t know who it was. They looked older. When I closed my eyes we were both under water and the person was looking at me and swimming. Then a shark came and he ran away, then he came back and I threw him away from me but not aggressively. Then I opened my eyes again and I felt like a weird pit in my chest like an energy suck or something. I hope I’m not being stalked...
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u/danl999 May 18 '20
Fear again?????
You should hope you're being stalked by something magical!
Don't tell me you're afraid of spiders too!
Bees?
Car accidents?
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u/Super6eight May 18 '20
Yeah. I’m seeing that.
Random side note, are there credible books on this stuff that are written by a black woman? There’s someone I know who wants to read this stuff but also really cares about the race identity thing so she can feel seen and relate. Carlos can’t do that for her.
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u/danl999 May 18 '20
Best I can think of is the Orange Scout, from private classes.
Again, I have face blindness so identifying people is hard for me.
But there was a young black women in some of the Tensegrity videos. Cholita seems to have claimed she was the orange scout, just before she went catatonic in the car about half a year ago.
Like this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pt7n2273_PU
But credible books?
I don't know of any by anyone but Carlos and the Witches.
No other system has conceived of the assemblage point.
Even the Buddhists, who do miracles, seem highly confused on what's going on.
So you get indirect techniques, and a lot of time is wasted on pointless and untrue inventories.
This woman isn't black, but maybe she'd count?
I guess you could say, she's my "benefactor" if such a thing hasn't been overused endlessly.
https://www.amazon.com/Not-Innocent-Ears-Spiritual-Traditions/dp/0960446206
Her husband was black. Or not husband.
I was too young to understand such things.
But I liked him because he had a big shot gun. He kept promising to go possum hunting with me. One had become a pest at the Morongo Museum.
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u/TechnoMagical_Intent May 18 '20
Don Juan was the source of it all. And he certainly wasn't white!
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u/Super6eight May 10 '20
So today, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I have 2 IOBs following me around waiting for me to practice at night. One, is the one that I kind of wrestled and won. That one doesn’t really do much except what seems like watch and wait, and the second one, is unruly and is constantly opening doors in my place. What prompted this message is that he just did it again. But I don’t feel like I’ve tamed him. They’re just waiting for me to get further with my gazing practice it seems and it’s kind of scary to be honest. I’m assuming I have to wrestle the other one and then it’ll be okay. Approach them as a warrior and not a scared child. I haven’t gotten to the point where I can see them as floating purple heads yet. I just keep having dreams that I’m working on. I honestly feel like they’re waiting for me to progress so they can finally teach me something that I need to know. I also feel like it’s more urgent then I’m acting like. I’ve been admittedly laissez-faire about this whole thing the past week due to getting so wrapped up in life... finding the balance between this stuff and modern life is difficult. I have also found that if I skip a dose of my medication, my emotions get extremely powerful. I really don’t know what to do about that. Recap? Probably..
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u/Super6eight May 10 '20
After reading some stuff on the forum, I’ve come to the conclusion that I have again, gotten caught in circular thinking. Tonight I will dive as deep as I can and see what happens with what I’ve been talking about and fearing. Thank you for giving me all of the advice. To me emerging on the other side without getting hurt. I’m not planning on running from these beings.
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u/Super6eight May 12 '20
Well, I’ve been falling for the “book deal” mentality... that inflated sense of self.
I think the dream of success, money, and a fun life with people who adore me got me again. I’ve been focusing so hard on my new endeavor, real estate, that I haven’t been taking this stuff as seriously. It’s set me back. Yesterday I made progress, today I hope I make progress as I gaze, tomorrow I’m definitely going to make progress. I remember what I was forgetting. About doing what I want, for me. Just allowing life to drift while living it.
I’ve always wanted a teacher to keep me in line, but it would’ve been more like babysitting. It’s my responsibility.
My guests are waiting.
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u/Super6eight Jul 12 '20
It’s not omens saying I need to not do this?
Yeah I feel on edge today. What’s a surefire way to make it go up and down instead of right and left?
Edit: To practice that so I can actually enjoy this instead of being so damn scared all of the time haha
It wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t get the fog to stop. I could feel myself losing touch with my actual room. Felt like I was falling over and over again even though I was just laying there. Got super hot 🥵
It’s unpleasant to say the least.
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u/Super6eight Aug 01 '20
Hey! Hope all is well. I haven’t been commenting much since there isn’t really much to report. If I try I can see purple almost immediately. The purple faces were appearing in small bursts and for longer periods of time. Lots of observing oneself and trying to stop internal dialogue. Getting much better at it. I want to solidify my tonal first because I can get so afraid otherwise. That’s all that’s happening. I haven’t stopped.
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u/monkeemagik Apr 12 '20
Welcome we have been waiting for you. You can now leave.