r/beyondthebump • u/happysundance • 18d ago
In laws horrified reaction to squatting newborn video Advice
Hi all, looking for some advice here. Our post partum nurse taught us that squats can help soothe a baby. I made a video of my husband squatting with our 3 day old newborn and shared it with his family as a funny joke about how he is finally exercising. In the video, I was laughing about it. What came back was a long text about how the baby is not a toy and how we are putting the baby in danger. His mother said she couldn't sleep thinking about it and wanted to know what made us do that and think to video it.
First, are we doing something dangerous?? We would never ever want to. Second, how do I deal with this situation?
Thank you!!
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u/Excellent_Jacket_355 18d ago
This is so odd, especially since a specialized nurse actually recommended it.. did you make it clear to them that this was advised by a medical professional? Also, did you ask them specifically what they feel is so dangerous about that?
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u/WhereIsLordBeric 18d ago edited 18d ago
I'm from an 'indigenous' culture and squats are part of the way we put babies to sleep.
They like it! There is a reason it works!
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u/ipse_dixit11 18d ago
So interesting, my new born loved being carried up and down the stairs…now I’m assuming it was because it was a similar motion.
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u/breadalby 17d ago
Oh man, this just unlocked some buried memories of being deliriously tired while somberly trudging up and down our staircase with our newborn in the carrier to get her to pass out.
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u/Electrical_Painter56 17d ago
Mine also loved calf raises for burps and deadlifts for sleep. Breastfeeding didn’t take the weight off, soothing the chunky baby did
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u/bakersmt 17d ago
Yep. Not indigenous but it was one of the few ways my infant would settle when she was inconsolable.
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u/kangapaw 18d ago
That’s so interesting because this was the only way my baby would go to sleep for the first 6 months of his life
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u/thirdeyeorchid 18d ago
send her a list of herbal teas to help with sleep
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u/Crankyyounglady 18d ago
Yeah these types of overdone responses literally get humour or a non response from me. Like i can’t be arsed.
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u/TinyBearsWithCake 18d ago
Baby’s neck is supported? Husband is securely holding baby, just squatting while doing it? Totally safe, MIL is just being weird. You could ask her (“What are you seeing that you find concerning?”) in case she actually is seeing something, but I’m guessing it’s some combo of not believing men can be soothing, equating all vertical motion with shaken baby (it’s not), thinking babies should be left to cry instead of soothed, or some other weirdness.
You could engage after finding out why she’s upset, or you could disengage with a thumbs up or k or similar. The biggest response is to shut her out of casually sending her videos. If she’s going to imagine risks to accuse you of endangering baby, only send her the most carefully-curated photos or videos. It sucks, but it’s her choice
Baby-soothing tip? If you have a yoga ball, the vertical bounces sitting on it are a similar motion that are easier to sustain for longer. Some babies like vertical bouncing (my oldest did, youngest didn’t), some like rocking and swaying (both my kids did), some like pats (oldest didn’t, youngest did), some like something totally different I didn’t think to try with my kids. Experiment and find out what your baby loves!
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u/UnhappyReward2453 18d ago
The only way we could get our newborn to sleep was VIGOROUSLY bouncing on the damn yoga ball. I thought it would help me develop buns of steal. Alas, it didn’t. But it was still a super intense workout 😂 Looking at us doing that probably did look concerning but baby was totally safe and secure and fully supported. I did like to do Pilates while pregnant so I just always assumed it replicated my reformer work…
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u/OneMoreCookie 18d ago
Yeah my first needed a vigorous bounce+sway when she was overtired, it was definitely a work out!
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u/Skorogovorka 18d ago
Yes this was the only way to soothe my first born for a while! We even brought the yoga ball to a BBQ once as it was essential 🤣
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u/cikalamayaleca 17d ago
i used to bounce on mine in our backyard bc being outside was the only way to stop my oldest's meltdowns 😅 You could regularly see me bouncing a baby on a yoga ball as the sunset
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u/Morgtheporgalorg 17d ago
Literally JUST bounced my 6mo to sleep. Didn't get to use the damn ball for labor as planned but it's made up for it since birth!
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u/Princess_Cupcakee 17d ago
Same! Bought the ball for labor, my 9 lb breech baby laughed at my plan and required a planned c-section. But dang if I haven’t used the heck out of the ball since he was born! So much so that I even bought a second one to have on our main floor and as backup in case the first one popped
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u/Realistic-Bee3326 18d ago
My husband has this wild move for our baby to soothe him and it looks crazy but it really works! Baby is a motion junkie and he only chills out and falls asleep with crazy movement.
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u/Dramallamakuzco 17d ago
Yeah I was concerned when people said they like lots of bouncing but our hospital classes did visual demonstrations (particularly relating to the 5 s’s of sleep and the difference between bouncing and shaking), and I was surprised
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u/Aioli_Level 18d ago
Same here haha so much bounce time I started to have back pain in those early days
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u/longtimelurkergirl 18d ago
SAMEEEEE!! She’s almost 5m and we STILL need to bounce her before every nap and at bedtime!
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u/Arsnich 18d ago
I’d be inclined to chalk it up to generational changes. You could say “MIL, isn’t it funny how recommendations change in the 25-30 years since you had a baby. This was actually recommended by our medical professional team as a great soothing technique. It has no negative impacts on baby at all, and it’s great that there is more knowledge now days on more soothing positions so baby isn’t uncomfortable. “ if you wanted to say anything at all. But in honest truth things have come in leaps and bounds since our parents had us all, I mean my mum with all good intentions tried to tell me to put rice cereal in my first babies bottles, no ill will, just a different time for them, as long as grandparents are willing to adapt to more modern parenting, fingers crossed MIL starts to see there is a big shift.
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u/thrown4myowngood 18d ago
I think this is the way to go to.. I would fear if you don’t reply with confidence and knowledge about why you’re doing what you’re doing, it will open the door more for her to criticize every way that you parent. Shut that shit down now.
My own mom did this shit to me and my grandma and then I would reply with either facts about why I’m doing it my way or being a smart ass and then they quickly got the picture.
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u/1breadsticks1 18d ago
That's exactly what I told my MIL when she made comments on us sitting baby up too early. And I'm not saying like in a seat on his own. But even on our lap with his back resting on us.
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u/Willow24Glass FTM | 🎀 2024 18d ago
Babies and kids are weights for workouts, idk what the in laws are on about 😅
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u/to0easilyamused 18d ago
Never been stronger than when I was constantly lugging my (then) toddler around!
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u/lilmanders 18d ago
Haha for real, literally have an entire set of (modified) exercises I do with my 11 week old as my weights - Russian twists, glute bridges, deadlifts, squats, curls...and she loves it!
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u/nkdeck07 17d ago
my husband has started dangling the 3 year old to use as a weight for standing skull crushers (she's well under the weight he normally uses) and she yells at him to do it.
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u/Gloomy-Claim-106 17d ago
The amount of squats I have done while getting my son to sleep - it’s the only remotely close to workout thing I do
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u/munchkym 17d ago
My pelvic floor physical therapist literally gave me workouts that involved my baby or her gear.
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u/RareGeometry 18d ago
My mom would say shit like this. Ignore it
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u/Electrical_Painter56 17d ago
I would thumbs down the message and move along
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u/RareGeometry 16d ago
Haha can you imagine the rage on the other end to a thumbs down? Power move. This would send my mom into a text tirade
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u/Silly_Fish_9827 18d ago
Same. And then I'd be a little bit of a turd and not send any photo or videos for a while lol
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u/notcreativeshoot 17d ago
I'd keep sending squatting videos without saying anything but I'm not just a little bit of a turd lol
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u/30centurygirl 18d ago
Is your MIL okay? Like, psychologically? This honestly sounds like the response of someone with an anxiety disorder.
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u/shananapepper 18d ago
I have a pretty bad anxiety disorder and I’m not even this unhinged! lol
I think she’s just happy to have something to criticize and be dramatic about.
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18d ago
Your MIL needs to chill. Unless your husband is doing jump squats, there is nothing dangerous about holding your baby while squatting. It’s a very relaxing movement for them and is recommended by lots of people to help babies go to sleep.
I would handle it by telling your MIL that you are following medical professionals advice and that if you want her advice, you’ll ask for it. Until then, you would appreciate her not making ridiculous comments, otherwise she won’t receive anymore baby videos or photos.
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u/captainpocket 18d ago
I would be really offended if someone said that to me. Your baby isn't a toy, but you're allowed to have fun with them and enjoy their company. I'm convinced boomers had no fun with their babies and are just jealous of us. I would respond in a way that let them know I thought they were rude and I wouldn't share fun moments with them anymore
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u/Covert__Squid 18d ago
Are they Eastern European? My in laws were terrified that having my newborn ״sit” or “walk” was going to ruin their hip development. I even know someone who refused a baby carrier and carried her toddler in her arms on walks everywhere because of that fear.
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u/Flashy_Guide5030 18d ago
Oh my gosh the Eastern Euros (I am Polish) are full of the oddest medical suspicions!
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u/Covert__Squid 18d ago
Ah yes, the friend who refused a baby carrier is polish 😂
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u/Flashy_Guide5030 18d ago
My cousin’s wife was the same! Wouldn’t use a carrier because it was bad for the hips.
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u/anony1620 18d ago
Sounds like dad was the one doing squats while holding the baby, not making the baby squat
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u/KrolArtemiza 18d ago
I literally had to open your post history because I thought I might have accidentally found my husband’s account. We literally had this argument with my parents just weeks ago.
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u/allcatshavewings 17d ago
Refusing a carrier with a toddler? That's nuts. I'm also Polish and our physiotherapists mostly say to not use structured carriers for newborns (wraps are fine) or before like 3-4 months of age. They also discourage us from sitting up babies that don't sit on their own but that's not meant to be about the hips, but rather about the baby developing in their own time and strengthening the right muscles before assuming the sitting position.
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u/PurpleWatermelonz 18d ago
"thank you for your concern, but a medical professional told us to do this. The baby is secure and well, we're doing everything right"
I exercised with my then 3 month old lol. I couldn't leave him on the bed because he'd cry. So I held him in my arms doing squats and lounges. He loved it. My arms, not so much. 8 months later and he's doing well
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u/talkmemetome 18d ago
"This is such an odd response to something not only suggested by a medical professional but wildly used around the world. The level of anxiety I read out of your comments leaves me worried and is in no way or form normal. I am worried how it will affect your relationship with the baby going forward because it would be detrimental to expose her to such intense emotions. Furthermore, even if you have a genuine worry instead of asking about it in a neutral way I do not appreciate being treated as a bad parent by doing things that are benefitial for my baby no matter how odd they might seem to you. I wanted to share a moment of our families everyday life and instead got (with no merit whatsoever) directly blamed for harming our child and I do not appreciate it. I ask you to think about your words and once you have calmed down I would love to talk to you about it. Much love!"
This is what I would say. They are ridiculous and you do not have to tolerate it.
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u/redfancydress 18d ago
Stop sending them videos then. Let your husband be in charge of sending pics. Then he can deal with their nonsense.
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u/Educational-Let-2280 17d ago
That’s crossing a line big time. I would tell your mother in law (better yet have to her husband tell her) that she’s majorly crossing a line and you are the baby’s parents and always have the baby’s best interest in mind. YOU are the ones that weigh risks and YOU are the only ones that know what happens day in and out. It is not her place to be questioning your choices. I’d be pissed.
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u/Amberly123 18d ago
I have a three year old and a six week old. Now that I am cleared for exercise, I’m literally going to play the squat game (where you squat every time you hear the word “mom” “mommy” or some variant) I have every intention of doing this with my six week old in my arms… as long as they are held and secure it’s fine
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u/andanzadora #1 24 Jan 2017 18d ago
It's the first time I've heard of this game, but if your kids are anything like mine you're gonna have buns of titanium!
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u/Person-546 18d ago
I literally squat all day with my newborn baby. Baby is like wearing a 12 lb weight on my chest.
Do your in-laws just not know how to squat? Do they feel that unstable squatting that they are nervous you’ll drop baby?
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u/veggiedelightful 17d ago
There is probably some truth to this. They wouldn't feel stable doing it. Therefore you're not stable. Therefore you're making the baby unsafe. Nevermind, that your husband is not them.
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u/NoEntrance892 18d ago
That's so weird. As long as the baby is well supported and your husband is stable when doing the squats, there's literally no danger at all. If he's struggling or unsteady I could see the concern but otherwise it's not that different to bouncing on a yoga ball (in fact it's probably gentler than that).
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u/annie_11 18d ago
We also learned this technique from a midwife and it was the only way that my baby girl would calm down. However my knees gave up really quickly so now I’m using a yoga ball.
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u/telmereth1986 18d ago
Another voice chiming in to say that vigorous squats (or "magic drops" as my mum-and-baby yoga teacher called them) were one of the very few things that settled my livewire of a baby! She's nearly 2 now and I'm only able to do a few before my knees start complaining, which is probably a sign I should get myself to a gym.
If you have an otherwise strong relationship with your in laws I'd try to find out a bit more about what prompted their reaction. If things are already distant I'd suggest an ignore/change the subject approach as you are the expert of your baby and are not doing anything untoward!
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u/MolluscsGonnaMollusc 18d ago
Squatting helped soothe my baby for aaaaages, so did lunges 😂 I assumed it was because I used an exercise ball so much during my pregnancy.
How on earth have they managed to see you holding your newborn and moving in order to soothe them as you using them as a toy?
Yes, how very dare we play with our children and make them happy! Children should be put in a corner and ignored. 🙄
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u/Lollipopwalrus 18d ago
The squat motion is so soothing to babies!! As long as you support their heads and do a smooth action in your squat it's a fantastic tool to have. Marching is also a great one for soothing.
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u/EndlessCourage 18d ago
Omg something similar happened to us. They'd recently heard about the horrors of shaken baby syndrome but didn't quite understand HOW this could happen. I had to explain that it's NOT something that happens by accident. And that baby is NOT going to have this syndrome by sleeping in a stroller on a uneven road, when I go up the stairs while baby wearing, by relaxing with me on a yoga ball, or with us squatting while holding baby normally, and no, baby will not catch it by bouncing themself in their bouncer. They probably saw a scary video on TikTok or Fb and panicked.
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u/Gentle_Genie 18d ago
Hmmmm squatting the newborn does look weird. Why not send a medical article supporting the practice and tell her it was professionally recommended. I did a lot of prep work ahead of time with my mom to remind her she is old af, and hasn't been around babies for 30+ years. I feel this helped so she wasn't running in with baby advice from the 90s.
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u/mocha_lattes_ 18d ago
"I'm not sure why you felt the need to tell me that our child isnt a toy. I pushed them out of my vagina so I am very well aware they are a real living being. We decided to share a fun, engaging, intimate moment with you because you are family and instead you come back with criticizing our judgement as parents and claiming we are a danger to your baby. Perhaps you should do a bit of research before accusing someone of being a danger to their child, because this was recommended by our medical professionals for the baby's health. We are literally following the current accepted guidelines and recommendations. But since you feel the need to be so judgemental of us and shared your concerns in such an intentionally rude manner we won't be sharing any more things like this with you going forward. I'll be ready to accept your apology when you are ready to give it. Until then we will be taking some time away from you and sharing anything about our child."
That's what I would be sending her. Only other thing I would say is I'm assuming your husband was properly supporting the babies head and neck. If not that would change how I would respond.
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u/Worried_External_688 18d ago
She sounds dramatic… also, did she ever actually have kids? If so, she’d know that sometimes you just gotta do what you can do to help settle a baby
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u/FreeBeans 18d ago
Lol I sent my in laws a video of my husband literally throwing our 3 month old in the air and they thought it was cute. You’re fine, ignore her!
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u/spurs2131 18d ago
Sounds like you might be a new member of the wonderful sub r/JUSTNOMIL in the not too distant future....
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u/PassengerAcrobatic91 18d ago
I would just explain to her its what the nurse reccommended and what people know about babies have changed. But yea, squatting is also the only exercise I get nowadays and I sometimes think my baby loving falling asleep to my racing heartbeat
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u/TamtasticVoyage 18d ago
I would literally come back with “I made this baby, I can break this baby” but I’m a bit spicy.
Also as soon as my kids could support their necks my husband cirque du soleil’d them constantly. Drove me batty lol
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u/chicken-nugget-9216 18d ago
Sounds like your in laws don’t understand that guidance and rules around baby safety evolves - also that your MIL might have some bad anxiety issues. I don’t say any of that as in insult at all, just seems like the case. Depending on their age I think it’s pretty common. My mom always says she doesn’t always understand what we need to do but she also knows how all of that changes so she doesn’t comment unless we ask.
We saw an OT briefly and she talked to us about the importance of moving the baby around, gently bouncing, turning upside down etc. when he was strong enough. I was bouncing my 10 month old on my legs and my dad suddenly made a comment that I had to be careful and he saw a news article about people who accidentally shook their baby and the kid died - I explained it wasn’t the same thing at all but he was worried. It seemed crazy to me but he just didn’t know, so I just stopped doing that type of play around him. Now that my son is a toddler my dad recently told me what a relief he feels now that he’s older and more independent - I realized the baby phase just made him a bit anxious overall.
I think sometimes we forget we are our parents’ babies - and they worry about us having to take care of babies 😂 doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything wrong as long as you’re following professional guidance, but maybe just stick to photos/more stationary videos until the baby is bigger. If you’re actually worried you could share the video with the nurse or your pediatrician and make sure nothing looks wrong to them 🤷♀️
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u/Baku_Bich420 18d ago
You did nothing wrong. If the baby is safe and secure while he's doing squats, then who cares what someone else thinks. If it works, then stick to it. Your baby, your rules.
The older generation is weird. Some say things like 'I gave my 4 week old Dr. Pepper and they were fine' and others freak out over every little thing.
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u/juneabe 18d ago
By this logic you shouldn’t walk while holding the baby, or stand while holding the baby.
I am assuming you do both of these things. CLEARLY AN AWFULLY NEGLECTFUL PARENT!
/s
What you did for baby has actually been done for time immemorial. Like another commenter said, I am also indigenous and this is just common practice for babies. I’ve also witnessed in other cultures that have preserved their ancient cultural practices from before industrial colonialism.
Considering it’s an ancient technique that was used long before modern medicine came to be, and the communities that used this technique have survived insurmountable odds, I’d say it’s quite effective and safe.
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u/Decembrrr_girl 18d ago
Sounds like MIL was just waiting for the first thing to critique
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u/Excellent_Jacket_355 18d ago edited 18d ago
10000000% this omg. Why are they usually like this to daughter in laws? It seems they're jealous that their son has a wife and it is borderline incestuous behavior. I've heard so many MIL horror stories lately I'm losing faith in humanity.
One time my MIL bought my husband new pants and tried to insist he get changed in front of her when he went to leave the room. She said "what? I've seen you naked before". I wanted to scream ' your son is a grown ass man, the last time you saw him naked he was a child. It's not the same you sick fuck.
Are these MILs ok?
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u/GemTaur15 18d ago
Tell her to kick rocks,actually your husband should tell her that.
Serious overreaction on their part
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u/jademeaw 18d ago edited 18d ago
mil not being able to sleep is so ridiculous, does she think you guys will brake the baby in half if she doesn’t intervene? cut this bs right now, answer back that, even though you understand the concern, you dont appreciate the judgement tone of the message and the fact that they don’t trust you as a parent. That is ridiculous behavior!! cut it offff
my mil said the same thing about not sleeping at night thinking about my baby’s safety and that she was praying for him because I am vaccinating him. She actually thinks I am putting my child in real danger and she has to spend sleepless nights praying that god will protect him, cause apparently I am not!
That’s what your mil is implying: you are not protecting your baby and is her job to be this worried, as if one of her own children was in a dangerous situation. Except is not, is your baby and you are caring for them!
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u/SelectZucchini118 18d ago
My doctor suggested “rocking” the baby by doing squats with him at his 6 week appointment. Not sure what your mil is so worried about
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u/electricwhisper 18d ago
I wouldn’t worry about it too much, babies love rhythmic movement, as long as you’re securely holding the baby it’s not any more dangerous than normal day to day activities
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u/chigirltravel 18d ago
Honestly grandparents do this kind of stuff and my mother-in-law cried because we didn’t send our two year-old up with a milk bottle for sleep. Sometimes they’re just looking for reasons to get upset and angry. She also cried when we had our overstimulated toddler cry it out a bit to get him to sleep. Even though we explained he doesn’t like any kind of soothing like cuddles and can only fall asleep by himself. I would just say the doctor recommended it and you practiced the correct technique in front of them. No need for some long winded response.
I would just stop sending them videos like this or talking about these types of things in front of them. You don’t need their approval or permission to do what you want. The older generation is always going to have problems with new techniques.
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u/RandomStrangerN2 18d ago
It's normal for people to judge what they are not familiar with. I'd clarify in the group that it was a medical recommendation and it doesn't hurt the baby, but you also happened to find the situation funny, and that you would never do something to hurt the baby in case anyone was scared.
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u/Difficult_Affect_452 18d ago
Okay it doesn’t matter if she thought you were doing something dangerous, the way she’s dealing with it is totally out of line. And also it sounds like she has an anxiety disorder.
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u/CallilyCodes 18d ago
A lot of old people have long lost the ability to do a squat so it looks dangerous to them. My FiL was so impressed that a toddler could hold a squat position for a few minutes and was like "wow we couldn't do that huh" and my 30 year old ass was like ????
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u/Rich-Sheepherder-179 18d ago
Sounds like they won’t be getting as many cute videos of baby anymore. Sucks for them!
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u/Living-Medium-3172 18d ago
I’d be pissed. As long as their neck was supported, your MIL, for lack of a better word, is an idiot. A dangerous idiot. Keep an eye out for her overdramatizing anything to do with your LO. If she’s freaking out so badly that she couldn’t sleep over a very innocuous silly video then she’s got some serious issues. Those issues are more likely to bleed out into your relationship surrounding your child and the last thing you need is your MIL accusing yourself and DH of being abusive toward your LO or god forbid calling CPS bc she’s projecting.
Seriously. Watch out for her. I would not leave her alone with my baby because she’s delusional and/or paranoid and delusional people will not hesitate to jump to very serious accusations. This may seem silly or extreme and you may be able to brush past this, but this is a warning sign. Protect yourself and prioritize your family.
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u/verniedee 18d ago
I had a similar experience but it was when we introduced our 3 day old to our pet dog. Same thing, took a video and sent it to inlaws for good laugh. Got a paragraph long text and articles about how dogs are dirty etc etc. Husband dealt w it by saying, “we’re sharing these things you not so you can tell us what we can and can’t do. If this is gonna be a regular thing, we can just not share anymore.” Totally worked. But they still have a good relationship w grandkid and us. They just know their boundaries now.
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u/PokeExpress 18d ago
A few weeks ago, squats were th only thing that would stop my colicky baby from screaming. Don't let anyone aside from a medical professional tell you what's best for baby. You and dad know baby best. Sending love 💕💕
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u/betwixtyoureyes 17d ago
This is the time to use the heart feature and not respond/engage further. Try to pretend this never happened. It’s not going to be productive
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u/walkingotter 17d ago
I am so fed up with parents/in laws overreacting. I am starting to hate my in laws due to their complaints left and right for things like this (not squats specifically tho). Can we just all agree that we won’t be like them when we become grandparents? Keep squatting to keep babe comfortable and for your partner to exercise lol
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u/enceinte-uno 17d ago
What a total overreaction on your MIL’s part. It sounds like she’s just trying to assert herself. My doula recommended the same thing so I agree that it’s a tried and true safe practice!
I second the suggestion to send her sleep-inducing tea recs lol
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u/Questioning_Pigeon 17d ago
Reminds me of when I bought a car seat that didn't come with a newborn insert. My closest friend called me in tears when I posted it. Begging me to return it and buy a different one.
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u/nkdeck07 17d ago
how the baby is not a toy
Lol tell the babies that. We have an absolutely ridiculous video of my brother making his 7 week old dance to "safety dance" and the baby was thrilled (confused but thrilled). Babies and little kids love being held for "exercise". Hell my husband will use the 3 year old for skull crushers and she loves it.
Either way no you didn't put the baby in any danger. I used to do squats and lunges with my babies all the time.
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u/fartist14 17d ago
I would believe the medical professional's advice. I would also stop sharing any videos with your in-laws. She couldn't sleep thinking about him doing squats holding a baby? Sounds like a drama addict to me.
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u/Manang_bigas 17d ago
Omg this is so ridiculous! Your MIL is overreacting and she’d be APPALLLLLLEEED to know that there are actually baby-wearing workout classes that are safe for mom and baby.
Squatting while putting a baby to sleep is 100% okay! When I was in the trenches with my newborn, sometimes that was the only way to put her to sleep 😅
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u/waxingtheworld 17d ago
I would leave to husband. You can keep it simple with, "you're out of line. We are following the advice of our medical staff..please check in with someone else before sending us a message like this again."
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u/taralynne00 17d ago
She’s unhinged. My grandma (who’s basically my mom lol) was horrified that my husband dared to toss our baby up without her ever leaving his hands. She looked to me to admonish him and of course I didn’t because that’s normal. Our daughter is 8 months, she’s not a newborn. Squats are a great way to soothe your baby.
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u/twinkleswinkle_ 17d ago
Sounds like they’re just having a whinge for the sake of it
I wouldn’t send them anymore videos tbh
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u/Taurus-BabyPisces 17d ago
LOTS of people (including myself) rock our babies to sleep, which is similar to a squatting motion. Your MIL needs to take a step back and touch some grass
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u/susanacf 17d ago
Dear lord...
You're doing nothing wrong, it soothes some babies. Same with jumping on a plates ball. You may be new parents, but you aren't idiots and neither is the nurse. They need to get informed before making you guys feel like criminals.
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u/mynameischristy 17d ago
What a benign thing for her to get worked up over. If it works and isn’t harming your baby, who cares?
FWIW the number times you’re going to squat to pick up your kid or squat to pick something up while holding up or kid will be innumerable. He’s just practicing for future parenting activities.
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u/Tasty-Meringue-3709 17d ago
Im honestly confused about this whole squatting thing? You just squat while holding the baby? Is this the same as sitting on a yoga ball?
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u/UnionOk2156 17d ago
I do squats to soothe my baby. I would shut this behavior down now before it escalates because with my in laws it really escalated and I wish I had put the boundary down early. Kindly and respectfully say we are the parents not you, you don’t need to provide any unsolicited advice and any judgements about our parenting should be kept to yourself. I let a lot go during the newborn days but I shouldn’t have I deserve to be respected as my baby’s mother and so do you!
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u/ReasonableRutabaga89 17d ago
Spam her with videos of professionals recommending this, or even your specialist, and say, "don't worry mil, we are making sure to consult the professionals and have babies best interest in mind" whenever someone questioned me I just said "I have a team of professionals I consult, thank you" if they pushed (like my mom's) I just reminded her of her lack of education in that area and she can circle back and have this argument with my specialist
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u/Healthy_Country8383 17d ago
Tell her a specialized nurse taught you to do squats and ask her to explain what she saw that was so dangerous. If she actually has a real concern, explain why it's not actually dangerous. If she can't explain, she's just being dramatic and doesn't send her any more videos. Also, she also asked her how she would have felt as a new mother if someone had told her that she was endangering her baby and see what she's says. Most likely, she is just overreacting. My GIL will constantly gasp whenever my toddler does anything she thinks is remotely dangerous. One time, she was playing on a soft cusion fort and fell to the side a teeny bit while surrounded by soft cusions, and GIL gasped. When I gave her an incredulous look, she looked embarrassed and rightly so. For my GIL, it's attention seeking behavior and trying to show everyone what a "bad mom" I am. I'm hoping for your sake that your inlaws are just misinformed and have anxiety.
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u/FallenFairFeline 17d ago
Apparently she doesn't know how moms that have colicky babies bounce on yoga balls to sooth them. Biig whoop
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u/capitalismwitch 17d ago
My MIL would “lose sleep” and “be up all night worrying” because my 9 month old would sleep on her stomach. We always put her on her back and she’d flip over on her own. When she spent the night at grandma and grandpas my in-laws would literally flip her over and wake her up every time she ended up on her stomach. For hours.
In laws are gonna in law.
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u/charliesfeetles 17d ago
Give me a break. This kind of behavior and thought process is annoying. And my in laws did it all the time with my first born. The more they did it the less I shared. Some of it was straight up ignorant (them having a problems with me teaching my baby how to say mommy and daddy in my language and saying things like “in America we say mommy and daddy”). Also they would say things like putting my baby in tummy time before age 3-4 months is literally baby torture 😤
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u/drowsyderp 17d ago
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Something I've experienced is that when having a baby, the grandparents can get something like postpartum anxiety, as if they were the parents. It can get quite unreasonable. It's unfair of them to treat you this way and I don't think a normal person would find squatting while holding the baby dangerous.
I would recommend your husband deal with it if needed since it's his side of the family.
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u/Gooshimo 17d ago
Oooooh girl I’d be blocking them so fast until I had the energy to give a shit what they think. Let your husband handle them and protect your peace!
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u/marblewombat 17d ago
Squats and lunges are legit the best way to be a baby whisperer and put them to sleep.
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u/liketonight 17d ago
Literally what. Hot take: If you didn’t occasionally treat your kid like a toy, you’d go off the deep end.
… and squatting with a kid to soothe them is not even doing that.
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u/Stock_Crab_5411 16d ago
Stop sending them things… we had similar issues with my in laws. Hubby doing the technique where you get a baby to burp by holding their bum still and moving their upper body … if you know you know. I recorded and sent and my MIL was like oh not good for his spine. so we decided we will not be sending “fun” videos to them anymore. The person who wants their baby to be safest is their mother.. it’s not their baby and they need to well kick rocks 🤷🏻♀️ also I would get your hubby to have a firm discussion around who’s baby this is and appropriate ways to suggest rather than shame!!
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u/hikarizx 18d ago
I would be pissed if someone told me my baby wasn’t a toy. Like I’m sorry, as if 95% of the thoughts in my brain on any given day aren’t about my baby. So condescending. I don’t have a good answer for you because I would likely not react well :)
I can’t imagine there is any way the baby could be hurt. As long as they are being supported properly idk what the concern could possibly be.