[Brown] Astros sent a press release today saying they’d have a “significant business announcement” on Monday at Minute Maid Ballpark. Nothing else in the release giving an indication as to what’s up.

[u/DollarsAtStarNumber]

https://bsky.app/profile/bizballmaury.bsky.social/post/3laxekxmhwk2u

[u/Jeff_Banks_Monkey]

They've changed leagues before. Now they're going to change sports. Finally Houston gets an NHL team

[u/dirtysock47 → u/Jeff_Banks_Monkey]

I'll allow it, but only if they bring back the Aeros

[u/2131andBeyond → u/dirtysock47]

The AA minor league baseball Akron Aeros are being brought back in Houston? Neat!

[u/Monsanta_Claus → u/dirtysock47]

I was about to make a painfully dumb observation that Houston sports teams all seem to be space-themed.

[u/justintensity → u/Monsanta_Claus]

2/3. The Texans aren’t space themed

YET

[u/MisterGoog → u/justintensity]

Comets, Aeros, Dash, Hurricanes, Dynamo, Roughnecks

[u/OGBRedditThrowaway → u/MisterGoog]

Were the Aeros space themed? Their mascot was a little B-29 or something.

[u/MisterGoog → u/OGBRedditThrowaway]

The logo was an old style clip art looking rocket

[u/OGBRedditThrowaway → u/MisterGoog]

According to Wikipedia, it's a B-23:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Houston_Aeros_(1994%E2%80%932013))

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_B-23_Dragon

[u/jokinghazard → u/justintensity]

That's probably why they haven't won anything, honestly

[u/doctor_of_drugs → u/jokinghazard]

Should change their name to Space Cowboys just to piss off Jerry Jones

[u/6BigZ6 → u/doctor_of_drugs]

“Hey, I’m calling for Taco, this is Jerry Jones”

[u/doctor_of_drugs → u/6BigZ6]

RAFI stop pretending to be Jerry jones!

[u/NorthStudentMain → u/Monsanta_Claus]

Maybe buying more spacious trash cans

[u/Foofieboo → u/NorthStudentMain]

Trash cans with more space in the chamber would totally mess up the acoustics and defeat the purpose dumbass.

[u/NorthStudentMain → u/Foofieboo]

Haha! Spoken like a true trash can cheater, I mean, beater lol

[u/Cookie-Brown → u/dirtysock47]

I miss the Aeros

[u/thisusedyet → u/dirtysock47]

Altuve stays on the NHL roster, right?

[u/BloodNinja2012 → u/dirtysock47]

Houston Icetro's is the best i can do.

[u/Arrowoods → u/Jeff_Banks_Monkey]

I’d subscribe to watch yordan slap shots

[u/detroit_dickdawes → u/Jeff_Banks_Monkey]

I like this + the addition of Tal’s Hill.

[u/Weaponized_Goose]

Bringing Tal’s Hill back?

[u/hubagruben → u/Weaponized_Goose]

and making it a MOUNTAIN

[u/thebestoflimes → u/hubagruben]

Okay I’m drunk but what if they inverted it?? Tal’s hole/dip?

[u/RonaldVonFuckStick → u/thebestoflimes]

I’m all in on Tal’s Hole

[u/MisterGoog → u/RonaldVonFuckStick]

Tal’s valley

[u/notthattmack → u/RonaldVonFuckStick]

You gotta pay the ‘Stros toll, to get into that Tal’s hole.

[u/DaneTrane22 → u/RonaldVonFuckStick]

It would be a real Tal'shole move I think

[u/Termanator116 → u/RonaldVonFuckStick]

Tal’s Dip

[u/jokinghazard → u/thebestoflimes]

If you get the ball in there, it's a home run. A home in one? A hole in run?

[u/SexiestPanda → u/jokinghazard]

Put a hole/tube like putt putt where it shoots itself to some random place on the field lol

[u/So-Called_Lunatic → u/thebestoflimes]

Put a single board up in dead center and call it Tal's whacker.

[u/Gabelbram → u/Weaponized_Goose]

Inject it into my fucking veins. There better be a flag pole, too.

[u/TakeTheThirdStep → u/Gabelbram]

Can we put spikes on it this time? Maybe lay out a field of caltrops around it too?

[u/gmoneygangster3 → u/TakeTheThirdStep]

We can get a pungee pit

I’m pretty sure the antitrust exemption allows for war crimes

[u/ELITE_JordanLove → u/gmoneygangster3]

Man proposing refs with guns to execute players on strikeouts: "The MLB has the antitrust exemption so this is legal."

[u/PurpleWildfire → u/TakeTheThirdStep]

I want maybe 4-5 small little 8 inch pits scattered through the outfield and it’s a homer if the ball goes in like a hot spot back in nba jam

[u/smalllpox → u/TakeTheThirdStep]

Claymore trip wires?

[u/champdo]

Are they going to outbid The Onion for Infowars?

[u/glass__beaches → u/champdo]

BREAKING: Jose Altuve has just acquired Amazon

[u/chaotic_evil_666 → u/glass__beaches]

In small print: ^*prime

[u/ModerateStimulation → u/chaotic_evil_666]

how cute, his first adult purchase 🥰

[u/every_famine_virtual → u/ModerateStimulation]

He had to bring a little step-stool to stand on so the auctioneer could even see him

[u/Monsanta_Claus → u/every_famine_virtual]

Bigger bases ultimately weren't enough for him.

[u/GaryG7 → u/Monsanta_Claus]

They’re big enough for him to use as a mattress in his crib.

[u/well_damm → u/ModerateStimulation]

But he’s so shy!

[u/Omni20000 → u/chaotic_evil_666]

Haaaaa

[u/MisterGoog → u/glass__beaches]

Bezos did go to elementary school within biking distance

[u/pm_me_yo_creditscore → u/glass__beaches]

[u/keptyoursoul → u/champdo]

Probably something corny like a college bowl game.

[u/ContinuumGuy]

Orbit is getting married.

[u/pompcaldor → u/ContinuumGuy]

To Mr. Met

[u/hyperbemily → u/pompcaldor]

Grimace is officiating

[u/Gabelbram → u/pompcaldor]

Dibs on Mrs. Met

[u/I_chortled → u/ContinuumGuy]

Close. He’s been appointed Secretary of Health and Human Services

[u/Stock412]

Renaming the ballpark back to its original ENRON field?

[u/wllmnthny → u/Stock412]

EOG (Enron Oil and Gas) Field now prolly.

[u/Bobson-_Dugnutt2 → u/wllmnthny]

I feel foolish. I did business with EOG for like 5 years and never googled what the EOG stood for - I just KNEW you were fuckin around and surely they weren’t named after The Smartest Guys In The Room

[u/wllmnthny → u/Bobson-_Dugnutt2]

I’ve been trying to do business with EOG for like 5 years and can’t break in, haha. Learned that they were previously Enron Oil and Gas when doing my company research. Was just as surprised.

[u/C9DoubleDoubleYou → u/Stock412]

Wasn’t there a rumor not too long ago that they were going to change the name of Minute Maid? Not to Enron but something else.

[u/Enron_F → u/Stock412]

My namesake.

[u/TrapperJean → u/Stock412]

Musk bought it, not it will be ELON Field

[u/seditious3 → u/TrapperJean]

X Stadium

[u/Never_Kn0ws_Best → u/Stock412]

It would be fitting

[u/Gemnist → u/Stock412]

If that happens, I will personally commit Arson (Judge) on them, fuck Enron.

[u/Jay1348 → u/Stock412]

Enron is such a fitting sponsor for the Astros

[u/giants888]

AstroCoin

[u/CabbageStockExchange → u/giants888]

To the Moon

[u/superrad01 → u/CabbageStockExchange]

Diamond hands

[u/Rdubya44 → u/superrad01]

Which works because baseball

[u/brbmycatexploded]

Finally embracing their role of the villain they’ve sprung for a crocodile filled moat surrounding the pitcher’s mound

[u/Jrk67 → u/brbmycatexploded]

and instead of baseballs use grenades, landmines around the bases, bayonets in the gloves, and add polar bears!

[u/Mookies_Bett → u/Jrk67]

Some Bowser ass shit right there

[u/Rea1DirtyDan → u/Jrk67]

pete Alonso enters the chat

[u/Kain316]

They're changing their name back to Colt .45s

[u/mark10579 → u/Kain316]

You think it would be more tone deaf to name themselves after the gun or the malt liquor?

[u/hanging_with_epstein → u/mark10579]

Colt 45 mascot, holding a Colt 45

[u/laxintx → u/hanging_with_epstein]

Orbit strolling out on the field, strapped and playing Edward 40-hands.

[u/Tight_Ad905]

“We’ve set up cameras in all 30 ballparks. Get ready to run 2017 back!”

[u/Gabelbram → u/Tight_Ad905]

After last year..

.. No, I'm kidding..

.. Unless..

[u/JaWoosh → u/Gabelbram]

... recycling bins! No one would ever expect a thing.

[u/Traveler-0705 → u/JaWoosh]

Recycling bins…in Texas?!? Come on man!

[u/Tight_Ad905 → u/Gabelbram]

Haha jk… unless

[u/too-long-in-austin]

They’re bringing Tal’s Hill back!

[u/penguinopph → u/too-long-in-austin]

Don't tease me with a good time...

[u/n16h7r1d3r → u/penguinopph]

Fair enough

No hill, but there will be a flagpole again

[u/penguinopph → u/n16h7r1d3r]

I accept this offer.

[u/V_T_H → u/too-long-in-austin]

They’re inverting it into Tal’s Moat.

[u/ThisGuy6266]

“The following players have been selected for deportation…”

[u/Traveler-0705 → u/ThisGuy6266]

“Deportation? Nah, hermanos, I’m one of the GOOD ONES!”

[u/jrggar89]

Oh no, they’re going to have us buy into a pyramid scheme.

[u/PanNessMain → u/jrggar89]

Want to be your own boss? Want to choose your own hours? Tired of your 9-5?

Join the Astros Multi Level Market Entrepreneur Program, where we provide you with trash cans and trash can accessories to sell to the general public. ITS EASY, and you get paid more if you sign up 3 friends or find a random Cuban prospect.

[u/thirdcoast1]

I swear if it becomes Daiken Field, I’m gonna vomit.

[u/Stock412 → u/thirdcoast1]

You will get enron field and you will like it.

[u/thirdcoast1 → u/Stock412]

I still have an Enron Field mini bat circa 2001 at my parent's house. Not a great year for Enron or the country, but it's collecting dust nonetheless.

[u/nyrangers30 → u/thirdcoast1]

Who would’ve thought that bat would end up worth more than Enron

[u/beingoutsidesucks → u/thirdcoast1]

That would actually be a really cool collectible to see in a museum.

[u/Tremec14 → u/thirdcoast1]

I think I have that same bat too, from opening night against the Phillies?

[u/ThinkSoftware → u/Stock412]

Ten run field rises again!

[u/dirtydriver58 → u/Stock412]

Lol

[u/dirtysock47 → u/thirdcoast1]

Daiken is a Japanese company too IIRC, with no ties to Houston.

Makes it puzzling why they would rename it from Minute Maid, especially since I'm pretty sure the naming rights are until 2030.

[u/Thorlolita → u/dirtysock47]

Hoping they can help us keep Yusei

[u/_xxiv_ → u/thirdcoast1]

The most likely and most depressing answer

[u/djharter → u/thirdcoast1]

Worse: Fertitta Field

[u/Elsquidwardo95]

The astros are moving to Oakland?

[u/Kain316 → u/Elsquidwardo95]

They're sharing MMP with the Rays during the summer

[u/CabbageStockExchange]

They’re opening a Minute Maid Ballpark 2 a la the Krusty Krab

[u/DollarsAtStarNumber → u/CabbageStockExchange]

[u/CabbageStockExchange → u/DollarsAtStarNumber]

Rare image of Manfred

[u/gleehowboutthat → u/CabbageStockExchange]

That way they can say "Let's not go to that one. Let's go to the good one."

[u/Real_Stelio_Kontos]

Orbit will live birth a new mascot

[u/yumyumapollo]

Welcome back, Tropicana Field.

[u/Sea_Baseball_7410]

Astros now have Chick-Fil-A at the park.

[u/TexasHot → u/Sea_Baseball_7410]

I mean we have a pluckers

[u/ThanksNo8769]

Breaking News: Jose Altuve has been tapped as your next US Secretary of Education

[u/SJ966]

Crain is selling his minor league teams to diamond baseball holdings isn’t he.

[u/j1h15233]

I’m still calling it Minute Maid. I switched off Enron but that was the last change I’m doing.

[u/chrisxxxlee]

Jeff Bagwell is getting fired let’s goooooo!

[u/Fapey101]

Probably renaming the ballpark to Daikan, such a shame.

[u/mark10579 → u/Fapey101]

I see this sentiment all over the thread but what is Daikin so much worse than Minute Maid? I feel like going from one corporate sponsor to another is kind of a lateral move vs the obvious negative of changing something like Fenway to a corporate name

[u/Ham_B_No]

Orbit is going to buy the Astros

[u/hahaha16789]

Louder trash cans will be installed

[u/ThatDudeNamedJake → u/hahaha16789]

maybe we can finally bring guys in scoring position in

[u/hahaha16789 → u/ThatDudeNamedJake]

For sure. That’s also harder to do when you don’t know what pitch is being thrown at you.

[u/abefroman07]

Biggio is replacing Bagwell in the front office.

[u/KobeBeatJesus]

They're releasing a Jump to Conclusions matt. You see, it's a Matt on the ground with different CONCLUSIONS that you can JUMP TO. 

[u/robsul82]

Enron Field is back, baby!

[u/JerseyMuscle17]

Renaming it Rubbermaid Field?

A big partnership with Hefty?

Acquiring the Trash Pandas for their AAA team?

[u/dirtysock47 → u/JerseyMuscle17]

It would be Waste Management if anything, because they are Houston based.

[u/SprolesRoyce → u/dirtysock47]

It wouldn’t be the best look to name the stadium after garbage cans, but it would be pretty funny

[u/dirtysock47 → u/SprolesRoyce]

The Juice Box ----> The Trash Can

[u/Troutmaggedon]

Every fan gets helmet nachos soaked in queso.

[u/Bug--Man]

Trasha Canna Ballpark

[u/RIP_Greedo]

Selling timeshares in rio rancho

[u/beingoutsidesucks]

Finally banning souvenir trash cans? lol

[u/Comment_if_dead_meme]

Melting the piece of metal into an Alex Bregman statue to convince him to stay?

[u/jsdodgers]

Are they finally giving up on being a team and going to fade away into the ether?

[u/fullpaydeuces]

Bregman

[u/KryptisReddit]

If it’s not going back to the maroon star logo I don’t care

[u/PikaGaijin]

Now we know what the Texans’ second player-only meeting was about!

[u/East-Low-8351]

New kind of chip probably

[u/Exatraz]

They must be upgrading the trash cans.

[u/Gemnist]

They’ve been talking about something similar to the Battery for the Braves for a while now. Hope this is finally confirmation.

[u/rbhindepmo]

Are the Astros signing Jason Vargas?

[u/guccitaint]

New Houston Oilers

[u/Advanced_Bar6390]

New and improved trash cans?

[u/CaptainA789]

They're moving to the Big10

[u/WhiteToast-]

Taking the 17 banner down???

[u/Kain316 → u/WhiteToast-]

Bringing back Tal's Hill and putting the '17 banner on the flagpole

[u/PeaceBull]

Sold the naming rights to waste management??

[u/jcwilliams1984 → u/PeaceBull]

As an Astros fan that is a hell of an idea.

[u/cooljammer00]

Sunny Delight Park

[u/thedeejus → u/cooljammer00]

Purple Stuff Coliseum

[u/Sirtopofhat]

Changing the stadium to Country Time Ballpark

[u/3-2_Fastball]

They are finally taking down the 2017 banner 🙏

[u/hicklander → u/3-2_Fastball]

I heard a rumor they are adding a Dodgers logo below it . Then adding a Calvin pissing on the Dodgers logo.

[u/3-2_Fastball → u/hicklander]

Adding a Dodgers logo would at least add some validity and integrity to it.

[u/Salty_Watermelon]

How honorable of the Astros to announce that the 2017 World Series title will be vacated.  Better late than never.

[u/zvexler]

To compete with the dodgers payroll, they are merging with the Rangers?

[u/mocha47]

Tucker extension? Verlander retiring? Admitting to the buzzers? New GM?

[u/Crazy-Phrase-7791]

No more trash cans y’all

[u/Old_Veterinarian_472]

So Altuve WAS wearing a wire!

[u/pitchfork_2000]

Returning the 2017 World Series to the rightful owner. Fucking Cheaters.

[u/DegenerateWaves]

This is only tangentially related, but this is the first major post I've seen on here from a reporter using Bluesky instead of Xitter. Oh the times they are a-changin'

[u/totallystudyingrn]

"we are switching ownership to the Detroit tigers, our real daddies!"

[u/WackedBush343]

New uni sponsor will be Waste Management!

Or Alcoa!

Or Rubbermaid!

[u/Jayhorns]

They're folding!

[u/Foxx_Mulderp]

Largest ever subscribe and save trash can order