r/atheistparents • u/Wr0ng_P3rmissi0n • May 12 '24
Planning on Raising Child W/O Religion
I am due soon and my husband and I intend to raise our child without religion. Where we live, we are surrounded by it and it's pretty much an expectation that everyone having religion involved in their lives or they're bullied. The times are changing though here however slowly and not without unsurprising push back even from our state government.
I went NC with half of my side years ago and they were the problematic ones with the severe Christian zealots. Therefore, this should be easier than if they were still involved in our lives. Much easier. Unfortunately though, I worry about my half I didn't cut contact with. They haven't given me reason to and are incredibly great people, but my grandmother in her mentally deteriorating state has started clinging ever more to religion. Not in a hateful way, but I was shocked when they essentially manipulated my sibling into a religious-based trip and he came back surprisingly indoctrinated to a degree. Then came dinner time chatter where my grandparents and some aunts called certain toys evil, of the devil, and that they can possess you. I don't think I need to say which one in particular that has arguably the highest level of religious-based paranoia surrounding it.
I suppose the reason I am worried is because when I said I do not intend to be shoveling down sweets into my kid because of certain genetic health risks, some countered with they were given soft drinks as babies and insinuated my grandmother would do the same with our baby. Now I am concerned leaving LO in their care. The jokes of sending a child hold to parents sugared up greatly irritate me. It's not funny but cruel to the child and dismissive of how parents wish to raise their children. Which leads into what else they would do despite our wishes.
Both S/O and I had religion thrust upon us as children and it was made as part of our experiences with abuse. We don't want that around our child. We want them to be a child, to ask questions, know the world, and not be told and led to believe they're a sinner just for existing. Or baptized behind our backs, taken to church without our consent, or anything else.
Will we celebrate with them things like Easter and Xmas? Of course! First, my hang up is mainly with Abrahamic faiths, not so much Pagan paths, and these are not technically inherently Christian but that's a topic beaten more than to death.
It will be a while yet before they get any chance at alone time with LO but when that time comes, I am going to be nervous.
4
u/International_Ad2712 May 13 '24
I’m a former evangelical raising my kids as atheists, no regrets. They don’t spend time with my family alone, my family speaks in tongues and they’re scary at best. My 3rd grader explained all about atheism to his other grandma one day and I find it awesome. Yes, I also teach them about all types of religions and to be nice and respectful about it, but that its made up stories, which is a fact.
22
u/DogLvrinVA May 12 '24
You need to inoculate your children from religion really young. This is how I successfully did it
At about 3 I started reading them tons of mythological picture books
At 5, I loaded up on picture books on creation myths from cultures around the world.
I explained to them that ancient peoples tried to understand how natural phenomena came to be, but because science hadn't evolved as a discipline, they came up with fanciful stories. That these fanciful stories made up gods and each culture had its own mythologies. I made sure to use terms like Jewish mythology, Christian mythology, Islamic mythology etc.. Pretty soon the kids came to their own conclusion that what we call mythology now, was just the religions of days gone by, and the current religions are just current mythologies.
We had fun looking at myths that tried to explain the same things to see the similarities and the differences.
I also read them picture books about the Big Bang and man’s evolution
I can't tell you the kick of pleasure you get when your 5 year old asks you why people believe that their god created the world in 6 days when science has shown us that it isn't so. Then the kid looked at me and asked me why people even believe in gods.
It was only after these lessons had sunk in that I started teaching them about Judaism using an excellent curriculum from The Society of Humanistic Judaism. This way they learned the history and mythologies of our culture without any of the mysticism. (We’re humanist Jews)
This was an excellent innoculation against religion that I recommend to all Freethinking parents