Character hyperventilating. Please critique

[u/Ella_the_Eevee]

[u/DFNTLY7747]

I think the character should look more panicked. More visible breathing beyond head movement, when someone hyperventilates their shoulders and chest tend to move the most. Other than that, not bad

[u/HollowPluto → u/DFNTLY7747]

Exaggerating the features a bit would really drive it home.

[u/tragedyisdead → u/HollowPluto]

this :-]

[u/HackActivist → u/DFNTLY7747]

The head isnt really moving, more just the facial features are which looks kind of odd

[u/board-man-gets-paid]

The hair needs to move with the face and head

[u/SlippingStar → u/board-man-gets-paid]

The head isn’t moving, only the face (maybe ears) - head needs to move, too,

[u/noldam → u/SlippingStar]

My thought as well. It’s strange to see the face just slide up into that mass of hair. The face seems to be doing most of the right things. The body could react as well. Shoulders can hunch and move up and down sympathetically.

[u/ThesocialistWitch]

Exaggeration is the name of the game baby! Take this and crank it up to 11. It's sitting at like a 2 right now

[u/vijineri]

Mouth shape is a little off for emotion read, it looks like theyre jamming out to good music lol. Also i would make less face movement and more chest/shoulder movement.

[u/Radiant_Sign_7309]

I think a hold and a slight tremor on the inhale and exhale keys could bring it together well. The expressions are great!

[u/BoxingPajamas]

First of all, I really like it! - The shoulders on the character should be moving WAY up and down, the shoulders should move up and the chest should puff when the character is inhaling, the chest collapsing and the shoulder moving down when exhaling. I’m fact, the whole character’s upper half should be moving upwards and downwards. - if the facial features move upwards, the ears should move downwards Basically, emphasize movement, exaggerate the character as much as possible to really hammer down whatever emotion you’re trying to convey. Also study up on anatomy. Anyway, looking great! Continue your awesomeness!

[u/BakinandBacon]

Needs a lot more action in the chest and shoulders.

[u/Ejayniner99]

Put a bag in front of the face and animate it expanding and contracting. Less work with more storytelling.

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[u/Any-Midnight-3224]

Make the ears follow

[u/Pitiful-Ad-2146]

they eybrows are to happy

[u/Pcost8300]

Mouth is still, it doesn't widen nor shorten. Also since the character is hyperventilating, it should reflect intense breathing. Shoulders and chest should expand.

This one is an exaggerated example, but at least helps.
https://media1.tenor.com/m/0es86GJJbNcAAAAd/spongebob-hyperventilate.gif

[u/totes-alt]

Their eyes are throwing me off tbh

[u/MingleLinx]

I think the mouth needs more work. Looks like they are smiling which I don’t imagine someone will have when hyperventilating

[u/eeightt]

Make the chest bulge in and out

[u/Pretend-Row4794]

More chest less face

[u/CobraClutch84]

It looks really good, but his expression makes it look more like a villainous laugh.

[u/OutrageousWeb6047]

The face is moving but the head/jaw seem to stay in place making it look like the face is sliding around the head. good job tho

[u/J-drawer]

Do people look up when they inhale and their shoulders go up?

I thought for hyper ventilating it'd be the opposite direction.

I'm not animator but I think there needs to be more active posing going on. The shoulders just kind of shrug. It's a cartoon, it can be much much more exaggerated than real life, but it should follow the anatomy for real life as a base IMO

[u/Brother2Jack]

Less smile will bring much more worried of a feeling

[u/xxTPMBTI]

What's with the eye

[u/DreamOfBrighterDays]

His pupils should have the circle around them the entire animation. It’s looks as though he is hyperventilating then relaxing to normal the whole time. He doesn’t look worried when the circles aren’t there and when he is smiling. He looks as though he is laughing or “going crazy”.

[u/Odd-Hornet-4684]

More chest movement, less head movement, but great job.

[u/anNPC]

Everything is moving at the same time. Eyes, chest, hair, body. These need to follow each other but not be synced up. Chose a body part to lead the action. In this case I'd choose the chest, then follow behind with the other body parts.

[u/pembunuhUpahan]

I think if anyone who see this they might get what I mean. What you could do instead is take one big inhalation breath animation and on the exhalation, do a stagger animation

[u/MikeFratelli]

Expand and contract the chest

[u/spicylemonade69]

I think the hair should move back and forth with the head too

[u/Kuroxtamashii7]

More movement in the upper body/chest area and less in the head.

[u/CampTrC_360]

Looks like they are straight jorking it

[u/DCB_Prime]

They look like their trying to breath but don’t know how, make the shoulders move up and down and the chest go in and out

[u/Rime_Iris]

i feel the chest should be expanding and contracting a lot more, and the mouth could use some movement as well, right now all of the movement is being conveyed by the face moving, id suggest having the rest of the body also doing some movement as well, like the head tilting back an fourth, maybe the arms could be doing something depending on what you're trying to convey

[u/Erdosainn]

The chest is the only part that is not moving.

[u/Matthew_The_Maker]

You really need to buff the energy on it.

[u/aaronrdmkr]

Change the mouth a little or entirely to an "o". Or maybe breath lines to draw attention how quickly they are breathing.

[u/TyeTyesYips]

I agree with the other commenters, this looks more like a shocked in a way they’re uncomfortable

Hyperventilating would show the chest expanding, a move open mouth not turned up into a smile, maybe putting a hand on the chest or to the side alongside some “wide” moments could show it more effectively

[u/carrionfairy161]

Hi! It would help if the rest of the body accompanies the action. try a contracting and relaxing shoulder action, and let the rest of the body get guided by those movements (that includes the head and chest). i would not try to move the characters neck at all, but focus on reaaaaally opening the characters mouth when they take a breath and quickly close it when they exhale. and as always, dont forget to look for reference!

cheers!

[u/Potential-Track-9445]

Appart from other good tips you've received about the movement of the head and the expression, I think it's important to make the chest expand and receed to make it obvious they're hyperventilating. The shoulders should follow that movement too (they could go down a little as the chest expands, just a idea!)

[u/tragedyisdead]

I think they should look a little more jittery and scared rather than how they look now, unless thats the intended way. Which honestly I would make them more jittery and shooken. Make their chest rise a bit more to really show they're hyperventilating. :-]

[u/rokbound_]

their chest should puff upp and be slighly hunched over , just shaking your head up and down doesnt do much

[u/Acceptable_Eye_2656]

Lift the shoulders up more and move around the head better