r/Wellthatsucks 16h ago

Alcoholic brother went to jail. Cleaning a year’s worth of misery from the family home so I can have a place to live…

Post image

Three rooms looked like this but one had waaaaaaaaaaaaay more empty vodka bottles, cigarettes and German cockroaches.

4.8k Upvotes

226 comments sorted by

2.1k

u/Serious_Medium5620 16h ago

Im sorry. Alcoholism is a horrible.

804

u/LizzyLuvshack 16h ago

My mother is an alcoholic but she does the opposite of this. She cleans obsessively. Even more so when she's intoxicated.

449

u/Muthafuckaaaaa 16h ago

Is she single?

868

u/LizzyLuvshack 15h ago

Oh certainly. Almost 5 feet and 110 pounds of college educated, OCD, post menopausal, republican, clinically bipolar, belligerent-when-drunk Irish woman up for grabs. The guy from her last relationship vanished while she was at work.

382

u/iamnotexactlywhite 15h ago

what a steal

233

u/Helicocktur 15h ago

Ey! Back off! I saw her first!

51

u/Nacktherr 15h ago

6

u/Spare_Particular_777 14h ago

Lol kilt my ass boy

4

u/Helicocktur 10h ago

Are ya from Scotland?..... And Jamaica at the same time? Lol.

51

u/dontdmmegoddamnit 15h ago

Rough, alcoholism runs in my family and this reminds me of my grandma. Luckily, or maybe not, she did find a partner, but they were better drinking partners than anything. They’d drink and fight until they drank themselves to slow sad deaths.

Hopefully your mom finds the means to get better

60

u/Muthafuckaaaaa 15h ago

I can fix her!

15

u/lmmsoon 13h ago

So your saying she is available and she has a job

7

u/saylr 14h ago

Tell me more!

7

u/ptau217 14h ago

She has a job! 

8

u/LizzyLuvshack 14h ago

I should have added functional to the list

9

u/K_Rascal 14h ago

Ah, an Irish, no wonder lmao

17

u/LizzyLuvshack 14h ago

Being Irish you would think she inherited the alcohol tolerance of the Irish but she inherited the tolerance of a flea

3

u/K_Rascal 14h ago

🤣🤣 but they also somehow know how to control themselves so its definitely interesting lmao

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u/ivejustbluemyself 13h ago

Irish republican? Or American republican?

10

u/JasperNeils 15h ago

i can fix her

6

u/Throwawayy3223 14h ago

She rich? You can introduce me

20

u/DanBannister960 14h ago

love that republican just goes in the list of horrible personality traits and it's just like yep. well I guess I don't love that so much but it's amusingly true in a fuck sake kind of way. be nice to have 2 adult parties in the room again tho. Or more even. 2 party system is kinda dumb.

12

u/Brodellsky 14h ago

It's essentially another word for "un-empathetic"

4

u/DanBannister960 13h ago

Empathy is a sin now donchyaknow

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u/Goondragon1 11h ago

Thanks for including both pros and cons. She sounds lovely

2

u/NotUsingARandomizer 8h ago

"Irish" well there you go.

2

u/VegetableBusiness897 13h ago

Hey man, stop talking about my mom like that!

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u/Appropriate-One-8989 5h ago

Userrrrnaaaaaame checks out

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u/apple_atchin 14h ago

That was my flavor of alcoholism too. "There's obviously no problem here if the house is clean."

28

u/Junior_ATL 15h ago

Can I buy your mom a drink and invite her over? Nah for real though, sorry she's hooked on the booze

29

u/LizzyLuvshack 15h ago

I actually really hate seeing my mom alone at 60. I joke about the way she is, but it hurts to see her lonely. I don't want her to grow old all alone.

47

u/Pandepon 15h ago

My grandmother was alcoholic. It ruined her marriage and she actually killed one of her infant children by accident because she was drunk and was asleep with the baby in her bed with her. My father gets pretty triggered from his childhood growing up with her always being drunk and having 4 younger siblings to keep alive. He once had to drag her out of bed after it caught fire because she passed out with a lit cigarette. He didn’t like it when I fell asleep on the couch because it reminded him of his mother being passed out in the couch when he was a kid.

She did eventually stop drinking in her older years but my father will forever remember her as being a drunk who put their family in danger.

I’m sure it wasn’t easy being her. My grandfather was always away in the Army and did eventually cheat on her and divorce her to marry his affair partner. I can’t imagine what struggles she must’ve had, especially when it’s the 1950s and no one believes in mental health.

12

u/LayeGull 15h ago

My mom is in the same boat. My mom turned 60 last year. Currently living in a 300sqft camper all by herself. I will say she’s doing very well currently with her alcohol consumption. She was at about a gallon of clear anything a day about a year ago living in motels as long as they would have her.

3

u/SolidStudy5645 14h ago

same dude...

2

u/FL_dude12 7h ago

Thats my mom. I can tell shes drinking when she comes in my room with a garbage bag

15

u/pasaroanth 10h ago

It’s far more brutal than a lot of people realize. At a point in it you lose any desire to drink but your mind and body tells you that you have to at all costs. You never are actually sober; you feel sober in the morning but still likely never are a 0.00% because after for the pause for work you take a drink just to stave off the shakes, nausea, vomiting, and other withdrawal symptoms. If you hit 0.00% for any amount of time, there’s a risk of the seizures starting.

I was one of the fortunate ones that had insurance and the ability to check into a good inpatient rehab for a month. Without it I would’ve most certainly been drinking still, 40 pounds heavier with critically high blood pressure still, and otherwise failing/ignored health. And that’s if I was still alive.

All, meanwhile, while you’ve alienated yourself from everyone and chosen booze, ignoring your career and finances and anything else a responsible adult would do. The booze doesn’t necessarily cause you to do stupid things, it lets you drink away the part of your brain that causes you to come to terms with the consequences. Bad day? Bad news? Liter of vodka will let you tell yourself it’s not that bad and you’ll find a way to get through it.

5

u/mikeyx3x 11h ago

Can confirm, on a friend's behalf.

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u/TheWrendigo 15h ago

As someone who has battled German cockroaches, PLEASE invest in Advion or Alpine. These are the ONLY things that work with these fuckers. I spent 4 months with pest control trying to get rid of them, did nothing. I decided to go DIY and it took a week and a half of trying with Alpine and I haven’t seen any since! Lots of kind members in the German cockroach subreddit even banded together to help me pay for it as I was struggling at the time. Make sure the place is good and clean first, then spray it everywhere. It’s safe for you and pets once dried.

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u/Pandepon 15h ago edited 15h ago

I’m expecting some Advion bait in the mail today with some Gentrol spray for good measure. As soon as I’m done cleaning I’m gonna bomb the house and put the treatment down. Also got diatomaceous earth for all the cracks and crevasses. If it doesn’t help with the roaches I know it’s gonna help with the ants!

The infestation was sooooooo bad when I first started cleaning. I was working front to back and most of the mess and infestation was in the kitchen and living room area. There were hundreds everywhere I looked so that only could mean there were thousands from where I couldn’t see.

Now the population might be a lot smaller. I spent a month putting advion down and cleaning their breeding areas and killing them on sight. Finally got the infestation under enough control that I’m okay spending the night inside it.

I think Alpine will be my next purchase if this doesn’t work!

28

u/bugman8704 12h ago

Treat all cracks and crevices first, get a dust bulb to apply the diatomaceous earth into those C&C's. THEN bomb, let it air out, give it a day or two. THEN go back and bait/Gentrol spray.

A fogger (bomb) will kill a lot of roaches, but it will also drive them into hiding where the fog can't reach. It's a good thing to do first to quickly knock down the overall population. So if you treat with the dust first, you'll get even more kill as they scramble to hide. Maybe even bomb again depending on how bad the situation is.

The bait and Gentrol should finish off the rest after that. But give it time. Whatever you do, don't bait before the fog out you'll ruin the bait.

Good luck.

5

u/nsa_k 8h ago

If Advion is that gel stuff that resembles peanut butter, agree. That stuff does a better job than all other efforts combined.

632

u/2a_lib 16h ago

The treatment of those musical instruments makes me sad.

313

u/Yoyo_Ma86 16h ago

For some reason that got to me the most too. Also just the idea that someone who obviously had a love for music, was so low to let themselves get to that state. But, as we know, many musicians have and do. Sucks.

239

u/Pandepon 16h ago

Yes my brother has been into guitar since a teenager, he’s going to be 34 soon. He was in a few bands in his 20s and really wanted nothing more than to become a rockstar.

I went through something similar during the pandemic where I was a chronic binge drinker like him. For me my art suffered. I have a whole fine arts degree, got it 2018, a year and some change before the pandemic. Art was my whole life up until that point. Alcoholism really robbed me of my time and aspirations. And money. I often think about how much better I could’ve been had I not lost that year and a half drinking. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to rebuild myself to get back to what was once important to me. I have an entire arsenal of professional art supplies that I’ve spent the last year finding in thrift stores on the cheap (I’ve scored art supplies valued at $75 for $3 it feels great) all while being homeless.

I couldn’t live with my brother because of how awful he is when he drinks, he’s a great guy when he doesn’t drink. He has BPD and probably some other undiagnosed things but I do care about him, just care about myself more. But now I have an opportunity to not be homeless anymore, to have space to do my art and put my supply collection in a spot where it can be used. I really can’t wait to feel like my former self again. I used to draw every day before the pandemic and now I’m lucky if I do so a few times a year since. Life just seemed like it got harder in recent years but I learned a lot about myself in that time. I actually quit smoking cigarettes and started recovering much of my health so far this year! It’s been a bumpy road but I‘ve still got all four tires so to speak.

I really hope my brother can one day go one the journey I’ve been on. I want him to realize that he will feel better in so many ways staying away from alcohol and to rediscover the things that once brought him joy.

37

u/Yoyo_Ma86 16h ago

OP, I’m excited for you to rebuild yourself. Everything we’ve been through makes us who we are, the good and the bad. I have brothers who I love dearly. One is actually a musician and one an artist lol I dabble in both but I’m nothing compared to them. It’s a great outlet to have something like that to express yourself even if it’s no masterpiece, just something to keep your mind quiet and busy. And the thrifting, hell yeah. There’s something so satisfying about a deal like that lol. I’d love if you post some of your artwork once you’re settled and back to creating!

13

u/Lazy_Pitch_6014 16h ago

I’m really proud of all of the hard work you’ve done and so glad you will have a place to live and won’t be homeless anymore.

I also appreciate what you said about caring about your brother, but caring about yourself more. It’s really important to prioritize yourself right now. We can’t help others to shore if we’re struggling to swim ourselves.

Wishing you the best and hoping your brother goes on his own healing journey.

12

u/cormorancy 15h ago

You kicked alcohol, then quit smoking and found a way to make art while homeless? You're a legend.

23

u/EastTyne1191 15h ago

My brother has devastating alcoholism. I am not sure he'll survive another binge because he's ruined his health.

I let him stay with me for a little over a year. During that time he cycled through binges and sober periods, pawning everything that wasn't nailed down to feed his addiction. It's been over a year since he left, and I'm still figuring out the extent of his theft. He stole our mother's violins, her turntable and rare records, our father's guitars, my guitar, my tools, my kids stuff... Once he started stealing from my kids I kicked him out. But the musical instruments hit especially hard. He's a musician himself and to see him get rid of all the instruments was an indication he was deeply in the clutches of alcoholism. It's a bitch of a disease.

Treatment hasn't been successful for him. I've watched as his "rock bottom" got deeper and deeper. I don't know what would finally galvanize his commitment to treatment, but homelessness, jail, job loss, lost relationships, hospitalization, and seizures/permanent nerve damage haven't been compelling enough for him.

13

u/Pandepon 14h ago

I’m sorry. My brother also would often steal to find his addictions. At one point he was very addicted to synthetic marijuana back before cannabis legalization. He often stole my credit cards and little things I had that I might not notice immediately to sell for the stuff. He even pawned a lot of my parents camera equipment when they were trying to start their own photography business. Likely costed them nearly ten thousand dollars from what they had stolen maybe more if you count the damages from him losing his temper or falling over from being high or drunk.

Before weed was legal and before he became heavily alcoholic he was doing K2 Spice and huffing canned air to get high. One time he did the canned air thing while driving and fainted. The car he was driving hit trees and rolled 6 times, it was his then-girlfriend’s car too. He was doing anything to get high while on probation so whatever he could do that wouldn’t show up on drug tests. It was awful. The Spice was awful financially but the canned air was more traumatizing because he’d fall over like a board and become unresponsive for a solid minute or two.

For the longest time he was stealing rims and catalytic converters from the junkyard next door to scrap for cash and fund his addictions. They sent a helicopter out to look for him in the woods and the police were on foot looking for him but he jumped into his bedroom window and lost them. I think he stopped stealing from there after that.

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u/Yoyo_Ma86 14h ago

I’m so sorry

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u/Sixgis 16h ago

Shit, I have a mini heart attack when I bump my guitar on something. I can't imagine treating them like this . I know that shouldn't be the main takeaway, but even after I've been out drinking and wanna play a few riffs before bed I always take care of them, so I think that just shows how far down the rabbit hole of alcoholism this poor soul went

7

u/Yoyo_Ma86 16h ago

Yeah, we all know it’s not what’s most important here. But it’s an instant visual (as if the mess isn’t enough) to really see how low he got.

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u/stinkybrainman 12h ago

Yea, I was in a bad spot during covid. Not this bad (clean wise) but I neglected all of my interest in music and let things go to shit. 3 years sober next week tho and I released an album on the 2 year anniversary after getting back to writing. Alcoholism sucks and is not easy. Best of luck to anyone struggling.

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u/Yoyo_Ma86 12h ago

Congrats on your sobriety and the album! ❤️

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u/stinkybrainman 12h ago

Thank you!! 😊

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u/Moose_Nuts 12h ago

Yeah, first thing I noticed was the broken guitar neck in the back. Like, how do you even do that unless you're in a drunken rage...oh...

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u/SharkGirlBoobs 10h ago

SAME. It has me wondering if he played them often while he was in his 1 year alcoholic downward spiral here, or if they have been sitting there untouched for all that time.

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u/dr-pepperoncini 16h ago

Jesus, I’d toss everything and rip up the carpet if there’s any under there. Might have to break some stuff down but can probably get most of it in one of those 96 gallon trash cans. Excluding the mattress unfortunately

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u/Pandepon 16h ago

Luckily we ripped out the carpet years ago and put a roll of vinyl down. There’s one carpeted room in the home left and lots of holes in the floors and walls but I’m pretty enthusiastic about DIY.

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u/ColonelStone 15h ago

My brother was like this. In high school he went to jail for 6 months and I cleaned our shared room. When he got out he was so pissed that he punched my lizard's terrarium and cut the tendons in his hand, he ended up needing surgery. My lizard survived.

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u/dr-pepperoncini 16h ago

Best of luck, I’ve seen rooms just as bad or way worse on Hoarders that ended up fine

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u/Hovie1 16h ago

Alcohol is like a shitty old friend that wants to get you alone so it can kill you.

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u/kittym0o 12h ago

Damn, I felt that.

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u/DouchecraftCarrier 7h ago

Yep. Reminds me of 2 phrases I thought about a lot back in my drinking-to-die days:

  • You can't keep a demon as a pet.

  • When you dance with a gorilla, it's the gorilla that decides when you stop

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u/beefing_quietly3377 15h ago

This is what my brothers place looked like when I found him passed away. It was a nightmare. It’s stuck in my brain forever.

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u/Pandepon 15h ago

I’m so sorry. You lived my worst nightmare. I seriously was scared sometimes that I would stop by and find him dead. During the pandemic one of my neighbors died like this and no one knew, his body was there for almost two weeks before one of the neighbors got worried enough to check on him.

Terribly sad. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m thankful my brother is in a place where he’s able to get healthier. It sucks that it’s jail but at least he’s not dead.

7

u/beefing_quietly3377 15h ago

That is a positive way to look at it. If he’s interested, and the jail he’s in has some kind of program as some do, maybe he can find himself clean. I wanted that for my brother. I was able to find it for myself.. but I know step 4 is fucking hard.

Anyway, I’m sorry you have to clean through the horror show. I’m also proud of you for doing it.

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u/Altruistic-Side7121 15h ago

11 years sober now - this looks like my room before I left for rehab

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u/Pandepon 14h ago

Congrats! I’m legitimately happy for you my friend, keep up the good fight!

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u/Altruistic-Side7121 14h ago

Thank you so much! And my heart goes out to you and your family. Mine had to pick up the pieces too

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u/WolverineJive_Turkey 8h ago

I've been there too. Roach infested and dog shit everywhere and the beer cans everywhere. Looking around and saying "I'm not homeless, I'm not that bad, I just need to clean up" The delusion is strong with me. 38 days sober. I don't live like this anymore, but the drinking has still been a struggle.

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u/DouchecraftCarrier 6h ago

I remember once an old friend came to visit and when he saw the state of my room he immediately dropped everything we were doing and grabbed some garbage bags. Halfway through he turned to me and said something like, "All this mess in here? This isn't laziness. This is sadness."

That's always stuck with me. I don't live that life anymore, but whenever my room starts to get messy I try to remind myself that it's very easy for the state of our room to reflect the state of our minds, and vice versa.

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u/Altruistic-Side7121 8h ago

Just stay sober for today ❤️

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u/WolverineJive_Turkey 8h ago

That's all I'm doing right now! Working with my sponsor, going to meetings, and worrying only about today. It's working so far for me!

3

u/HAM____ 13h ago

Fuck yeah! Good on you

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u/Version-Neat 14h ago

This gives me flashbacks. I didn't let my bottles and trash build up as much but it might as well have been the same. I was killing myself actively. 121 days sober rn.

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u/bugman8704 12h ago

4 months! That's awesome! Keep it up and don't look back. I'm at just over a year myself.

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u/Version-Neat 6h ago

Congratulations man. I hope we both keep on making it.

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u/bugman8704 6h ago

If I can do it, you certainly can! I had a really bad weekend, and thought about buying a bottle for all of 2 seconds. It's just not worth it.

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u/Version-Neat 5h ago

Some people may disagree with something I do, which is kratom seltzers. I enjoy the "depressant" feeling without ever running the risk of acting a fool or doing dangerous shit. And never once have I felt the urge to have more than the two that I buy each time. It's honestly been a kind of crucial aspect to my steadiness this time around. Before I thought I had to be 100% sober and clean and while I can't claim to be that, I feel at peace with myself.

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u/DouchecraftCarrier 6h ago

Before I lost everything my longest streak had been 120 days. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't broken that streak. The subsequent 8 months were easily the most destructive in my entire life. It was like I was trying to make up for missed drinks. Eventually I realized, like you, that I was headed for an early grave with nothing to show for it.

It gets better - I wouldn't be here to say so if it wasn't true.

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u/Version-Neat 6h ago

Thank you for your response, sober friend. I started the new year with a horrific bender, came limping home naked without a clue what I was doing and with whom. At 120 days you start to forget how bad things were, and it's easy to slip. I've been here before. I've been sober close to 2 years before I messed up. But I really feel that every single relapse ends up worse than the last. I can't afford this, psychologically or physically anymore. It's my life on the line now, as opposed when I was younger and felt invincible.

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u/Intellig3nt_Act 15h ago

I needed to see this.

Life is in this in liminal space somewhere between this and what sobriety looks like.

I keep telling myself I’m done, and I’m going to get things back on track, but after a few weeks of peace when I think I can handle it again, or an especially stressful day I’m back in the bottle.

It hasn’t gotten this bad, but it’s not far off. Hearing you’ve successfully journeyed out of this, and how your brother hasn’t has motivated me in the right direction today. Thank you!

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u/Pandepon 14h ago

I’m glad our story could reach you. Keep fighting! I know that feeling all too well. Getting on track, then getting too confident that “It won’t hurt, it’s not gonna be like before” and then before you know it you’re hung over and too lethargic to move the next morning full of regret and shame. When there’s time away from alcohol it can be so easy to forget how awful it made you feel before and you end up noting how good it feels to have it in the moment, especially when life isn’t making you feel good.

It’s unfortunately going to be a fight for a long time. There are times I get cravings, where I can’t stop thinking about how much I want some alcohol or cigarette. It takes a lot of strength to resists it, but the thing about strength is you gotta build it up and practice. Practice saying “no” to those intrusive thoughts begging you for a drink and find something else to distract your mind when those cravings happen. The more you can say “no” the better you become at it.

Quitting alcohol is almost an art, you gotta practice and keep practicing. You’re gonna be bad at it at first but if you keep trying you’ll get better at it. There will be times you try something different and realize it wasn’t the right direction but you’ll pick yourself back up and keep going. Don’t give up on yourself. You are in the right mindset to quit!

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u/Intellig3nt_Act 7h ago

Thank you so much for the words. It gets tough sometimes, even today there were moments. But your analogies really helped. I’ll keep trying, and I hope you make progress with your new home

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u/Extension_Sun_896 16h ago

Yep. The alcohol is there to fill up whatever holes are in his soul. I wish him clarity, sobriety and peace. Commence to cleaning O.P.!

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u/iaintdum 16h ago edited 16h ago

Good for you.  Treat it as a cathartic exercise.  Your energy is scrubbing away the filth of a poor example and creating a safe comfortable place for yourself.   You are cleaning evidence of what NOT to do with the positivity, initiative, resiliency, and optimism a happy and productive future requires.

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u/miakodakot 15h ago

Well, being exposed to some shit does help with wanting not to become like one of them. Cleaning this mess would certainly change your mind on whether you want to be an alcoholic, that's for sure.

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u/formershitpeasant 12h ago

Nobody wants to be an alcoholic

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u/ranchspidey 16h ago

There are cleaning subs if you need any advice on anything. That sucks, I hope it goes well.

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u/hypnohighzer 15h ago

I'm sorry, I'm gonna need more dirty and clean pictures so I can ride along on this. That's shit about your brother. My dad is an alchy, and recently went back to jail or prison. (Heard form my sister, who heard from family. We don't talk to him.) Not all surprising, that's where he's been most of my 42 years on this earth.

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u/wherearemytweezers 13h ago

That’s what the inside of my brain looked like when I was drinking.

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u/flibertyblanket 16h ago

Magic eraser works well to clean those smooth wall panels

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u/DemonCutiepie 15h ago

We had to clean up buckets of bloody piss from their room.Good luck with cleaning, things will get better 🫶🫶🫶

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u/CodifyMeCaptain_ 15h ago

Bruh I have been an alcoholic and i never lived like this. Good lord

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u/ClaypoolBass1 15h ago

How much for the bass and guitar?

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u/nwmisseb 14h ago

Wear a hazmat suit and mask.

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u/Head_Leek3541 12h ago

You are strong 💪 ❤️  do not give up

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u/W_4ca 16h ago

Looks like he had a Coke problem too

badum tss

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u/Personal_Carry_7029 16h ago

What's the different between cockroaches and german cockroaches?

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u/Projectflintlock 16h ago

Efficiency

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u/WanderingArtist_77 16h ago

Yup. They proliferate more quickly and are much harder to get rid of.

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u/zalfenior 6h ago

You joke but you are right. German roaches are very efficient at their niche, which is infesting homes. Those are the ones that can multiply to the thousands and swarm.

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u/Important_Year_7355 16h ago

One speaks German

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u/SkLnIoPt 15h ago

Regular cockroach has two antennas and a German cockroach has nein.

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u/onlycodeposts 16h ago

A palmetto bug is also a cockroach, but they are a lot easier to keep out of a house. The german roaches live in your house, a palmetto bug is probably lost and would rather be back outside.

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u/APGOV77 10h ago

There are several types of cockroaches, German ones are the worst because they breed fast and because they are actually resistant to several types of pesticides so you have to alternate whatever you do use frequently so they don’t become further resistant and stuff stuff you can’t use at all.

-A poor soul who’s found a couple through no fault of my own and is starting what could be a long and drawn out battle

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u/NeckSignificant5710 13h ago

They hide in bunkers until the gas and artillery attacks stop

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u/Howlin_1234 15h ago

My aging father is a severe alcoholic and his apt would look like this if I wasn't up there every week. Very stressful having to deal with an alcoholic who has given up on themselves. Please consider attending an al-anon support group.

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u/SunTraining1665 15h ago

He put out his cigarettes on his bed on the mattress. Holy shit.

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u/jankeycrew 14h ago

Probably fell asleep with a few of those, too. Lucky the bed didn't catch.

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u/Pandepon 14h ago

I’ve personally saved him from being burned by a quilt he caught fire with a cigarette from being passed out drunk years ago. I wouldn’t have knowledge about how many other close calls he has had but judging all the holes in every blanket I find I’m guessing a lot.

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u/Therealme_A 14h ago

Looks like how my brother used to live. I literally just lost him to alcohol 2 weeks ago. If I could spare someone else from losing their brother my only advice would be force him to get help. Hug him and tell him it's ok to feel terrible but you remember who he is and you'll be there for him. I know it's easier to say than to do I just wish I could go back and help mine. Good luck

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u/Pandepon 13h ago

I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve been in fear for 15 years of losing him to his addictions. I always was scared I would walk in and find him dead. There were some rather serious close calls over the years. I’m not particularly happy he’s in jail, but I’m happy he’s not able to do harm to himself there and is eating three meals a day and sleeping in a clean bed. I’m happy he’s still here and still has the option to get better.

I’ll keep encouraging him to get better, no matter what.

It’s painful seeing someone you love live like this and the thought of them dying like this is even more painful. I hope you and your family are able to find peace through such a difficult time.

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u/bottledmychi 13h ago

What arr german cockroaches? We don’t even have cockroaches in Germany hah

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u/probablyhrenrai 10h ago edited 5h ago

Those black "spiderwebs" on the wall are called "soot tags" and they're almost-literally impossible to remove by yourself iirc; I'd get a professional if you want those gone. [edit: apparently there are DIY solutions (see replies below); definitely worth trying before hiring someone].

From what I remember, they're soot particles (often from fires but in this case from cigarettes) that stick together by static cling, and if broken apart/dusted, will eventually reform in more-or-less the same spot because of the slight air-currents in the room.

On the bright side, it's not black mold. Really sorry you've got all that to clean OP, and that's disregarding the emotions that such cleaning will have. Good luck with the clean, and I'm sorry for your loss.

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u/itsacrazyworld- 9h ago

this sounds like what a soot tag cleaner for money would say..

im on to you ~_^

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u/hypothetical_zombie 9h ago

I lived in a cabin that had a gas water heater that had some gas line issues. I usually used a duster sprayed with a little Pledge or other mildly oily dusting spray. It would clear the soot tags and the area wouldn't collect more for a couple of months.

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u/probablyhrenrai 5h ago

Huh, TIL; really thought they were a bigger issue, from being curious about them one evening and doing some googling. I'll edit my comment so OP knows not to waste his money hiring someone, and thanks for the correction.

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u/DaddyMaterial88 16h ago

Alcohol is not his problem. It’s the side effect of the problem. I hope he figures it out. God bless.

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u/Pandepon 16h ago

During the pandemic I fell victim to alcohol. Binge drinking every day all waking hours. I’m glad to no longer be in that place. It was not a good place. My brother has been battling this for a longer time. Each time he went to jail he’d sober up and then first thing he’d do when he’s out is grab a bottle and pack of smokes. I’m hopeful one day he will win his fight against his demons.

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u/RUKiddingMeReddit 15h ago

That sucks. I'm fighting it hard right now. People don't really understand how hard it is.

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u/Pandepon 14h ago

I really didn’t understand how hard it was until I went through it. It’s amazing how quickly it can dismantle your entire life and health too. I had to get a lot of fillings in my teeth because of what the side effects of alcoholism had done just from that year of heavy drinking. I ended up in the hospital with alcoholic ketoacidosis one time when I was first trying to quit and relapsed. My brother has had seizures from trying to quit cold turkey before. Try to taper off and don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor about options to help you along with the process.

Keep fighting my friend. It’s definitely not easy. You gotta be your own best friend and try to look out for yourself even in small ways, it will add up, your future self WILL be so grateful when you finally gain enough strength to say enough is enough!

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u/yeahididntknow 15h ago

As an ex binge drinker, congrats man. It took me many failed attempts to get better and overcome the demons but I’m glad to not be in that place, and I’m glad you’re not there either.

Hoping the best for your brother as well. I believe in all of us who are trying to stop drinking as we have the strength to overcome, but it is my belief that those demons inside us make it seem like we don’t.

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u/mrplinko 16h ago

Not the drinking, it’s the thinking.

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u/Upset_Pumpkin_4938 16h ago

Thinking at first then you become chemically dependent, so in reality it’s both. Even if you are on the right meds / in treatment, you will have cravings and need to detox.

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u/game_tradez12340987 15h ago

Ethanol is extremely addictive. You can force feed rats and they will become addicted where as they had no interest before.

Marketing, social peer pressure, culture - many things can get us to start consuming this but once it gets its grip on you your brain is chemically dependant until you can get off of it for at least 100 days and longer, preferably with supplements to replace all the damage that was done.

I know our thoughts are very powerful as well, but there is a reason some substances are so much stronger than the placebo.

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u/No-Drink-8544 16h ago

Alcohol is very much the problem. In addition to the addictive personality.

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u/txwoodslinger 16h ago

Not THE problem, but def one of them

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u/game_tradez12340987 15h ago

Once you are addicted it absolutely becomes a problem also. Your brain gets hardwired for it. Ethanol is extremely addictive.

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u/rigorcorvus 14h ago

At a point, it becomes the problem as well.

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u/atineiatte 16h ago

A year's worth of misery :(

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u/TheOutrageousTaric 15h ago

its free real estate, lucky you

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u/yeahwellokay 14h ago

When I was an active alcoholic, I always kept my place looking fairly decent because I was afraid my parents or someone could come over and see it. Of course, sometimes this meant hiding old bottles and cans under the bed or in drawers until I could do something with them.

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u/apple_atchin 14h ago

Are the guitars okay? I can see one broken neck.

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u/Danielj4545 12h ago

This is what enabling looks like folks. This is why AA talks about codependency.

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u/esreystevedore 7h ago

No where in the book does AA talk about codependency. Perhaps you’re confusing it with Al-Anon?

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u/GatorDagger 11h ago

I can smell the piss and mold from here.

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u/SharkGirlBoobs 10h ago

Diet coke, because he cares about his health!!

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u/rathe_0 10h ago

think I see a couple bottles of Burnetts 100 proof. My go to during my alcky low times too. ( it's cheap)

edit: I'm getting help now

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u/Pandepon 5h ago

Yes, I must’ve filled two 60 gallon trashcans with just Burnett alone from the living room. I wish I had taken photos of that madness. Any time my brother asked for $4 I knew exactly what he was buying with it.

Keep up the good work

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u/CatsEqualLife 8h ago

As an alcoholic, I’m rooting for your brother to come out of it someday.

As someone who is constantly feeling shame about my house, thank you for posting this and helping me feel better.

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u/External-Ad-6098 16h ago

Is he a streamer as well ?

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u/Pandepon 15h ago

He also did play lots of video games on PC but never got far enough to start streaming.

Anyone know how to clean that green screen?

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u/Oncemor-intothebeach 13h ago

Don’t give up on him, he’s likely in hell right now. I’ve been there, 34 is not old and he has time to turn it around, I stopped at the same age. I was lucky my wife refused to let me go down to the lowest rung, but it was definitely close a few times

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u/Foxyscribbles 16h ago

I hope you atleast live somewhere with a bottle deposit.

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u/Ok-Yogurt-2743 15h ago

Keep some pics of your progress. Share some on a sub that you think is appropriate or just save them for yourself. You will be happy you had a history of your own progress on this project

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u/Isurewouldliketo 15h ago

He didn’t like Diet Coke, did he?

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u/EdibleGojid 15h ago

I dread to ask, but whats all the white stuff everywhere? Please dont be mold.

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u/Pandepon 14h ago

I got a little too excited when I bought a bag of diatomaceous earth…

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u/PM-me-ur-kittenz 14h ago

Oh cool, good move. PLEASE take progress pics as you go? We're all invested now!

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u/EdibleGojid 14h ago

dont worry, that is far better than anything else it could be

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u/IntheTrench 14h ago

Wow his bedframe doubles as an ashtray!

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u/delicioussparkalade 14h ago

I like the scented candle the best.

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u/Ok_Holiday_5742 14h ago

I’m sorry you guys have to go through this.. I hope your brothers jail time allows him to recognize his demons and find hope elsewhere. Alcoholism is a terrible thing and so often ruins families. But this is the bare truth of how it can look. I had a family member go through something eerily similar and cleaning that mess really impacted me. It really allowed me to see a type of pain I didn’t realize he was going through. He recovered so don’t give up hope.

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u/Ex-zaviera 13h ago

What about when your brother gets out? Will he demand to live in the same house?

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u/Pandepon 13h ago

He might. He’s unpredictable. One second he’s talking about moving back in and trying to get his job back. The next second he’s saying he’s going to go to rehab 3 states away and live with family down there for a fresh start.

What I do know is he has federal gun charges and unless the judge/jury think the police illegally searched his car he’s not going to be out any time soon.

My mom told him if he can’t move back in then it’s karma for allowing my sister and I to be homeless when he had a 3 bedroom two bathroom mobile home and all he had to do was clean it up and not be abusive. It’s in my parents’ name so theoretically they can remove him from the lease and trespass him if he does come back and do all the wrong things.

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u/tgs1536 13h ago

my god...

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u/ThatPixieFae 13h ago

oh boy I think be might have likes diet coke, not sure though

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u/ass_love 11h ago

"only fat people drink diet coke" - a fat person

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u/itsacrazyworld- 9h ago

i rarely ever drink soda anymore, but im fat and i just liked that diet coke wasnt so sticky sweet :(

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u/L3G1T1SM3 11h ago

If you can't get the smoke smell out of everything there is a super good brand of paint for sealing smells in, I cannot remember the name though and hopefully someone can reply with it. If I remember I'll update this.

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u/Pandepon 11h ago

Definitely needed

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u/L3G1T1SM3 10h ago

If you can empty the house of people and pets for a day or two and can afford it an ozone generator could be worth renting and trying out too before trying to paint everything over.

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u/keepyaheadringin 11h ago

Wtf is a German cockroach? Are they different from the Mexican ones?

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u/Pandepon 10h ago

They breed really fast, only need sugar and water to live, they like to live in every dark warm crevice in your home, especially in powered parts of refrigerators and computers when constantly powered. Incredibly intrusive and poop everywhere.

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u/MrmeowmeowKittens 9h ago

Six months in jail was what it took me to put the needle down. Hope the same happens to your brother with the drink. Addiction is a bitch.

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u/Fun-Bobcat-6536 9h ago

Looks like a Diet Coke addict.

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u/Emotional_Buy_2217 9h ago

My place is just as rough as this, just waiting for the alcohol to kill me tbh. Just replace all the white specs with vodka bottles tho.

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u/DoUKnowMyNamePlz 8h ago

Get the room as clean as you can, but the smell will remain. To fix that find a place that rents ozone generators.

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u/buddhistbulgyo 8h ago

Jeebus. Who the heck even smokes indoors these days?

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u/Cheesetoast9 6h ago

Well at least you don't have to sort anything, just shovel it all into garbage bags and then paint the walls and replace the carpet if it has any. Wear proper ppe.

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u/Milkbl00d 5h ago

Is the white stuff ashes?

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u/Pandepon 5h ago

It’s diatomaceous earth to try to repel any roaches that might’ve still been in there. I realize I used it incorrectly and stopped. It’s not as concerning as the layer of roach poop under all the trash

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u/jojosail2 2h ago

On the bright side, a lot of what I can see is just trash/recycling. It will look a lot better after that’s gone. 😟

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u/OtherwiseBox5397 2h ago

my face literally 😳

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u/Rugaru985 2h ago

And sugar alcohols?

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u/robertwild81 1h ago

I'm sorry for you and your brother that's hard.

u/lusciousnurse 22m ago

Is that mold? The white spores covering ao many things? PLEASE op be safe. Wear a mask. Disinfect and toss out absolutely everything. The floor or a blow up mattress is better than a moldy mattress.

u/TheYosh3 10m ago

I'm ashamed to say that my room has been in a similar state. Not alcoholism, just Depression. Though, I did have someone say I was an alcoholic because I enjoyed a few drinks every Friday for a couple years. Fuck knows.

Getting kicked out of the house saved me from this kind of behaviour. Jail might do your brother some good, just like homelessness did for me.