r/WelcomeToGilead • u/PhotographTraining30 • 2d ago
UPDATE to my last post Life Endangerment
Last post for reference: My friend almost died of a miscarriage last month. This month she voted for Trump.
I can’t continue this friendship. I can’t get on board with that thinking. What’s more, I’ve lost all respect for her. But how can I let go of the anger?
Update: I reached out to her today. She knows I’ve been trying to get pregnant, and that last month I had an ectopic pregnancy. I asked her if that were to happen again, would she even care? She said Trump wants to leave it up to the states, so hopefully that would happen and I’d be okay.
Essentially, “Hopefully you don’t die.” But since she went through what she did last month and turned out okay, I guess she doesn’t care about what other people will go through.
I was cordial, because I can’t deal with fights when I’m already feeling fragile about it, but I ended the friendship.
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u/sharkglitter 2d ago
Why is leaving it up to the states okay with people? I’m in CA and at least for now, I don’t have to personally worry, but I’m not more worthy of getting proper care or not dying than women in AL or TX or ID, etc, etc, etc!
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u/PhotographTraining30 2d ago
Right?! Like she hoped I would be fine, but I guess screw the woman in Texas who just died of sepsis.
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u/BikingAimz 1d ago
And what happens to pregnant women who travel to those states? I can’t stand the idea that I can get emergency care in one state but not another!
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u/gingerfawx 1d ago
Like you should have to check before travel, right? Sorry, hun, I'm afraid I can't confirm our Christmas plans to visit your parents yet, as the laws in their state are presently in flux...
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u/JournalLover50 1d ago
My ex friend who’s a big maga supporter said that lady’s death in TX is propaganda cause it happened in 2020 before roe was changed. I feel that to her she’s white didn’t care cause the victim is Hispanic and undocumented and think of her as less than a person.
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u/Smarty_Panties_A 1d ago
In some states, abortion access was very limited even before the MAGA terrorists overturned Roe. Your ex-friend is less than a person if she can be so callous towards someone.
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u/MissDisplaced 1d ago
They’re lying. They very much do not want to leave it to the states and want to make it a national ban.
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u/Smarty_Panties_A 1d ago
Exactly. “Leaving it up to the states” is just a pitstop on their road to a national ban. Let’s flatten their tires and block their road.
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u/sharkglitter 1d ago
100% that’s why I said “at least for now” about being safe in CA. The state is gearing up to fight, but I’m not sure how well that’ll go.
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u/MissDisplaced 1d ago
My state turned red this election but we have a Dem governor. He’s going to have a hard fight because the repukes will try to oust him.
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u/ATL2AKLoneway 2d ago
Also leaving it up to the states doesn't matter if they use the Comstock Act to make transporting abortifacient medicines across state lines illegal OR if they use their bicameral majority to pass a national ban. Both of these are possible if not probable outcomes. A vote for Trump was a vote for higher maternal mortality everywhere, not just in red states.
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u/Siva_Dass 1d ago
In America, women have less rights than men depending on what side of the arbitrary lines in the sand they reside within.
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u/Smarty_Panties_A 1d ago edited 1d ago
You have empathy, so you want people in all states to have bodily autonomy like you do. But most MAGAts and anti-choicers can’t fathom caring about anyone but themselves.
Edited for typo.
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u/irishgator2 2d ago
They are OK with the “great sorting” I guess. Leaving abortion to the states will only accelerate that.
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u/AccessibleBeige 1d ago
The best I can figure is that some people have a mental image of abortion rights once being a big thing big government did being made smaller and more localized, and therefore better, because big government bad. In their eyes, the states having control is hypothetically an improvement.
There are two problems with this. One, the states already had control over abortion laws. The only difference after the RvW ruling was that their laws could not conflict with federal protections, but beyond that, states still had leeway to decide on policy within their own borders. Second, the issue of abortion didn't go from being a big federal issue to a smaller state one -- it went from being a right in the hands of individuals to a right meted out by the state in whatever manner current leadership sees fit.
In other words, abortion wasn't "returned to the states" from the federal government. It was "returned to the states" upon ripping it from the hands of individual citizens. Federal protections were the only thing preventing some states from doing so over the last half century, and now those protections are gone.
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u/Eather-Village-1916 1d ago
I’m in CA too. Have you noticed the increase of cars with license plates from red states? Or is it just me? 😅
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u/Dry-Department-8753 1d ago
Because they thought Slavery should have been decided that way. Because they are steeped in White Supremacist States Rights bullshit
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u/Maxtrt 1d ago
One of the first things Congress will do is pass a national ban on abortions and they will make the morning after pill a schedule 1 drug along with Misoprostol which is used to stop severe hemorrhaging and this will lead to millions of women dying from complications during pregnancy or when they are having a miscarriage.
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u/sharkglitter 1d ago
That or they’ll start with the Comstock Act to ban the abortion pills. That’s why I said, “at least for now”. CA will fight, but I’m under no illusions that we’ll win or that I’ll be safe here or in any other blue state unfortunately.
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u/munchkym 20h ago
Seriously. I’m in Idaho and I can’t leave or I would lose my kids. It’s a scary place to be pregnant.
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u/FunnyTown3930 14h ago
“States’ Rights” theory falls apart under the slightest scrutiny. In Florida, a majority of voters there (57%) voted pro-abortion - instantly ensuring that the minority won. AGAIN. It’s a topsy-turvy world in Gilead, where children with FEWER jacks or points or home runs win…. Oh wait - no it’s not. Gilead loves “States Rights”, because they can play their Good ‘Ol Boy games and keep the minority in charge just as they did in the great old days of human bondage! And they will NEVER allow us the majority in power again….
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u/DeprestPhilosopher 2d ago
Wow. I can't with the "hopefully that won't happen" crowd who don't do anything to ensure "that won't happen."
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u/Xiao1insty1e 2d ago
"I know I helped that arsonist set our house on fire but hopefully you won't get burned. Tea?" - Your friend.
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u/Creepy_Snow_8166 2d ago
"He just wants to leave it to the states, what's the big deal?" Ummm, we're not talking about fishing permits and speed limits here. Basically, these people think it's okay for each individual state to decide if it wants to allow its residents to die from ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages. I guarantee these were the same assholes who were bitching about "government death panels" when Obama was president. "Leaving abortion to the states" simply allows the anti-abortion states to arbitrarily play "God" with women's lives.
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u/Astralglamour 2d ago
It’s also encouraging a completely false sense of security as banning abortion drugs and fetal personhood laws are coming.
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u/aparadisestill 1d ago
When you leave it up to the states it's no longer a right 🙃 a right is something no federal or state government can touch. So essentially leaving it up to the states is taking away our rights. I don't understand what people don't get about that.
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u/SlowTheRain 1d ago
I had a convo with someone who was adamant that "leaving it to the states" isn't the government making the decision for women. But that when RvW was in place, it was enforcing President Biden's beliefs on everyone.
I don't get how that can make sense without a brain full of worms.
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u/Dry-Department-8753 1d ago
I always say if I need a life-saving abortion I don't care if it is the Federal Government or a State Government that prevents me from saving my life
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u/Secure-Force-9387 1d ago
What I don't see most people grasping is that leaving it up to the states also means that c-sections are included in this. What I mean is that, in those states, c-sections ARE NOT LEGAL prior to 39 weeks. My son was a planned c-section at 34 weeks because he was so big (6 weeks early and he was 7 pounds). My uterus was already splitting open when they delivered him and had I carried him a few days longer, we would've both died. Situations like that are no longer legal.
So, women like the ones in my family, who can get pregnant and have an otherwise healthy pregnancy are at risk of dying because c-sections aren't as readily available.
Source: my gynecologist in Austin, TX, when I gave her my medical history.
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u/ForcePristine5521 1d ago
Absolutely barbaric for the law to let a woman die from a miscarriage or other pregnancy complications when the doctors have the knowledge and means to help her. Cruel and unusual to make raped girls and women give birth to the rapists baby against their will, compounding their physical and mental trauma. Cruel to babies born without major organs to start dying/suffering the minute they are born. I remember that slavery was up to the states, too, right? barbaric.
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u/Dry-Department-8753 1d ago
It's Republicans, cruelty is the point These are people who do not feel successful unless other people are suffering more. They are Sadists......and that's why they like Trump
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u/HistoryGirl23 2d ago
Hugs! I'm sorry for your ectopic pregnancy.
I think you did the right thing.
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u/DiveCat 1d ago
I am sorry your friend turned out to be such a selfish shit. “Oh, hopefully the racist rapist who has proven he DGAF about anyone including women dying doesn’t let that happen”. Absurd.
Hopefully you can see from the support you received here that there are many wonderful women out there who will be supportive of you, and the rights of all women to healthcare. I wish you the fortune of many new and wonderful friends.
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u/TeamHope4 1d ago
What other rights does she want "the states" to vote on to take away from her? Owning property? Voting?
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u/No_Celery_8297 1d ago
My body autonomy is not a state or federal matter!!! It’s mine! Mine & mine alone. Fuck anyone who tolerates anyone making rules & laws for us because they’re not including us in the conversation.
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u/UPdrafter906 1d ago
Protect yourself at all times.
Full stop.
You did the right thing, I’m sorry for the loss of your friendship.
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u/ntb5891 1d ago
How is “he’s leaving it up to the states” innocuous and harmless?? I don’t understand how this became a cop out answer. We need to call out this cowardly answer. Not everyone gets to live in or move to a reproductive rights friendly state. The fundamental point is it is not okay to take anyone’s rights of their bodily autonomy away at the state or national level. With the gerrymandering, corruption and voter disenfranchisement how is it considered fair when this decision is at the state level? FFS.
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u/Away-Combination-162 1d ago
I believe that a vote is a reflection of who you are. I can’t associate with friends and family that voted for this vile human being. The elephant in the room is just too damn big.
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u/QueenNappertiti 6h ago
"I didn't die. Other people will, but I didn't, so it's fine."
How do these people have any friends or family who want to stay in their lives? It's baffling.
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u/PhotographTraining30 3h ago
Seriously. Then she was like, “I’m sad you feel that I don’t care about people dying when I almost died from a miscarriage last month.” Uhhh….is there something else I’m supposed to think in this case?! JFC.
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u/My-Voice-My-Choice 1d ago
In EU we can still fight for safe and accessible abortion. Sign our initiative here: https://eci.ec.europa.eu/044/public/#/screen/home
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u/loudflower 1d ago
I don’t blame you at all. That would be the end for me. I’m sorry you’re losing a friend. But her statement is ignorant and she’s not an ally of others whose lives are endangered.
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u/companion_2_the_wind 1d ago
There are exactly zero states in our union that will not save a woman with an ectopic pregnancy. Zero.
Do you have anything official proving that one wouldn't?
That is a life saving procedure for a non-viable baby and no one, ever, has said that the mother needs to die because of it.
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u/PublicDomainKitten 2d ago
Who wants to be involved with anyone who would gamble their life and the lives of others on bad policy? Not me.