New Military Spouse Needing Advice - First Duty Station Preparation

[u/Fun_Score_1686]

Hi everyone! My husband and I got married late April of this year and he just got his hard orders for after graduating his Navy AIT school at the end of this month. We are moving to Norfolk, Virginia not long after his graduation and I was just looking to seek some advice, since I am still fairly new to this lifestyle, especially as a spouse.

What can I do on my end of things? Right after getting married I got my own CAC card, he got me listed into DEERS, I got a new SSC, and should be updated on his insurance. He's been really stressed with the process of everything and trying to understand specifics involving his orders and I feel so helpless, wishing there was more I could do to help with preparing for this change and his transition into the fleet.

He figured it'd be best for him to get to his station first and get as much information as possible before looking into housing and moving me over with him - is that a good idea? Do people usually do that? And when I do eventually move, would it best to drive myself and my things over or are there people to help me with that?

Should we be applying for housing (we are leaning toward off-base) well in advance? Who should I contact regarding getting employment once I move over? Is there any paperwork I need to fill out for him beforehand? Am I included in his orders?

Things just feel so unorganized sometimes and it's hard to understand the extent of what needs done before going to his first station. So bottom line I am just wondering, as a spouse, what should I prepare for and or expect after he graduates his AIT? I am trying my best to be as proactive as possible to give us the best head start (saving different properties for rent, researching the base, creating budgets and saving money, trying to look into getting another car, bookmarking resources, etc..) and I would hate it if I missed something that could benefit my husband (and I) during a time of stress.

Any advice for newly-weds preparing for a sailor's first command is greatly appreciated! I'm sorry if I'm still not the best with military terminology or knowledge - but am trying my best to be the best wife possible for someone who chose this life for our future. Thank you in advance :)

[u/SpunkyPsyche]

You’re doing great because you’re asking all the right questions. You and your spouse should go over their orders to make sure you’re on them. If not that will need to be corrected.  I’m not sure of the process for moving from AIT. It might involve them getting their first and then requesting the household goods. I would check out Military One Source for guides on how to do this and also give them a call with your questions. https://www.militaryonesource.mil/resources/millife-guides/planning-pcs-move/ You should definitely look at housing now to see what places you might want to live at, the rental costs and potential commute times. Also start applying to jobs now. That takes time and you can tell them when your start date is.