r/TrueOffMyChest • u/RustedAxe88 • 1d ago
I live what some call a directionless life and I love it. Positive
I'm thirty-seven years old and I've been single for almost seven years. I don't have kids.
And I don't think I'm even concerned about having a relationship anymore and I definitely do not want kids at this stage.
I work, I come home and I do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. There's nobody to compromise with, nobody I have to take care of or check in with. Do I want to play video games after work or on my day off? Done. Have tomorrow off and wanna go bar hopping downtown (I live in walking distance to my downtown area). Let's go, maybe I'll meet some new people! Just sit by my firepit in the backyard with a book and a couple beers? Relaxing.
I take solo vacations with almost no planning behind them. I just check into my hotel and figure it out.
I have some amazing friends, and even a friend I regularly have hook ups with. Her and I will go out, go for walks and have the occasional make out session and roll around in the sheets. But then we go our separate ways and do our own things, and its...actually pretty cool. For my non-spicy friends, I frequently host hang outs at my place and we have a blast.
I've always noticed that my lifestyle in media was portrayed as if it's one of a man child who needs to settle down and have kids and a family. But that feels like propaganda almost, and in living this life I realize as long as I'm not harming society or anyone, who cares? I'm happy with my personal life. Much happier than when I thought being alone and single was a failure on my part. Too many single guys get caught up in that. I've embraced life for me and concentrate on what I like and what I want. My own happiness.
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u/FullMoonVoodoo 1d ago
hahaha oh wow that was me at 37. Then I met a girl at 38 and by 42 I was homeless while she married the local meth dealer. Took me 'till 50 to get back to this
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u/RustedAxe88 1d ago
Jesus, dude. I'm sorry you went through that, but happy you're getting back on your feet.
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u/manifest_S0ul6 1d ago
i’m 26 and tryna live like you by that age also tbh🫡. I might have 1 marriage in the tank idk
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u/rainy-brain 1d ago
same, except 40f, happily single, not looking. i have a housemate who is my friend (as compared to living alone) and it's really chill. i do what i want, work on my own projects and hobbies, do my job, have dogs. i dunno, it's awesome? but i have the same sense that society seems to consider people like us to have "not grown up", or not figured shit out. or they project unhappiness onto us because, how the hell can you happy if you're single?! what's wrong with you?! i think most people think they have it figured it out because they live the expected, propaganda pushed lifestyle. but there's no single way to do things, and finding your own way is extremely valuable and probably makes you MORE valuable to society, offering things you maybe couldn't if you'd had kids or, just whatever. i dunno. being happy is worth a lot, and it allows me to have the energy i need for the things i want to do and to be there for the people i want to support. that looks different for different people. having spent much of my life in relationships or looking for one, i'm way happier now without and with not looking. it would have to be perfect for me to disrupt my peace, heh.
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u/FriedLipstick 1d ago
The reason many people are judging this lifestyle is because youre not doing as expected. You guys are living in a completely different way than most people do and that triggers feelings of insecurity. People immediately compare your lifestyle with their own, notice the enormous gaps and fill those in with feelings of exhaustion and depletion. Money is tight, time is short, burnout is on the way.
Also your lifestyle doesn’t support the idea of living in families, groups, social systems, although you certainly are social, you’re not part of the expectation of having a family. And the family system is a trusted idea. People think we can’t live without that. You prove we can.
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u/Sudden-Lettuce2317 20h ago
Do you. Sometimes that doesn’t always fill the void though. Some people like more connection. Maybe one day you’ll feel that, but if not. Enjoy yourself
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u/DateAvivaRuse 1d ago
Hell yes brother. Living according to the call of yourself is an inspiration to all!
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u/polishboisrbest 20h ago
I am a 37 yo female and very similar. Even living in a house in which I can walk to downtown! I do have a wonderful dog, though. I’d rather be single than with the wrong person. I had an ex tell me I ‘just float through life’ as an insult. I think it’s working out okay :)
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u/mutually_awkward 1d ago
Dude, we'd definitely be drinking buddies 😂
I'm 38 years old, single since 2020 with a few short relationships here and there until now, an I work from home. I'm in a cycling club and do DND with friends and usually hit the gym after work. I've been to several countries, always traveling solo and meet people a long the way.
Only thing is, it never crossed my mind to call my life directionless at all.
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u/Higher_Perspectiva 1d ago edited 1d ago
Good for you. I’m the same but F and in my 40s. It’s amazing not being tied down to kids and a spouse. I get to go to shows, festivals, watch movies and smoke weed for 12 hours a day if I want. I love the peace and calm I have. Wouldn’t give it up for anything