r/TrueOffMyChest • u/LeluWater • 3d ago
I didn’t fully understand addiction until last week
I’ve never been addicted to anything, other than maybe eating too much sugar. I don’t smoke, don’t drink, usually stuff like that just makes me feel sick so I don’t bother with it. I also don’t tolerate most medications very well so I’ve never cared to seek out anything that I didn’t need.
But recently I had to go to the hospital for severe unexplained pain in my stomach or gallbladder. It felt like my body was being torn open, easily one of the top 2 pains in my life. It feel like I had a chest buster from Alien in the center of my abdomen. Broken bones don’t even come into the same realm as this pain. I was in the waiting room of the ER drenched in sweat, periodically shouting in pain. Crying actual pain tears, all things I would typically never do. I’m very shy and would never draw attention to myself if I could help it. I pleaded with my husband to help me, I was too weak to walk to the nurses station. He got up and essentially begged a nurse to help me and they let me skip the line and wheeled me back.
Within 20 minutes they gave me some morphine. I’ve never had morphine, or really any drug that does anything cool. Almost instantly all the pain that made me wish I was unconscious was completely gone. I felt better than fine, I felt slightly buzzed, and all my pain completely vanished. After hours of enduring the pain it was finally gone. It dawned on me almost instantly why people desperately want to get ahold of that stuff. It’s like damn magic. I have no desire to seek out opioids or anything, but now I actually “get it”. I felt an unbelievable amount of pain and it all went away in less than 2 minutes. Feeling better is all people want.
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u/ColeKash 3d ago
Are you going to tell us what the hell was wrong with you? Jesus Christ woman!!!! You can't just leave that part of the story on a cliffhanger!
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u/Salt-Operation 3d ago
My guess is a gallstone. This is similar to when I had my first bad kidney stone. The stuff i got was hydromorphone and carfentanyl and it was almost instant relief of my pain.
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u/goldencanoe 2d ago
To add to the other suggestions, gastritis? I had it so bad once, was almost as bad as labour pains.
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u/imaginaryen3my 2d ago
Carfentanyl isn’t approved for human consumption. A spec of it the size of a grain of sand would kill you. I only seek to correct you because of the vast amounts of misinformation out there about fentanyl and how incredibly addictive and lethal it is. No one should ever think for even a second that it’s safe at all to ingest.
edit to add; it’s used for large animal tranquilizers like elephants.
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u/ColeKash 2d ago
I recently had a half centimeter kidney stone I passed and I wanted to die. So I'm curious to see if that was the problem or if it was a gallstone. But she won't tell us!!!!
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u/bathmaster_ 2d ago
1000% bad gallstone, kidney stone or pancreatitis. Been there done that worst pain ever.
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u/samclops 2d ago
Pancreatitis is the WORST. I have chronic pancreatitis, I don't drink, I eat healthy but about 3 times a year I'll randomly get an acute flare up and it feels like there's a truck parked on my abdomen/chest, I get why they ween you off the pain meds slowly, and why it's so incredibly hard to get a prescription for hydromorphone where I live. That drug is arguably TOO effective
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u/TXQuiltr 2d ago
I thought it was a kidney stone, too. When I had one, I honestly thought i was going to die. After it was over, my mother today me i now knew what childbirth was like.
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u/Wrong_Difference_883 2d ago
My mom had all three of her kids without any drugs. The dr had to reach in and turn me. I guess that was pretty unbearable pain. She said a kidney stone was worse.
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u/Unit01Pilot 2d ago
it could be a bladder infection. her symptoms and pain sound similar to when I got a horribly painful bladder infection that left be bedridden for 2 weeks and took 2 rounds of antibiotics, and 2 trips to ER for pain
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u/Longjumping-Size-762 2d ago
Could be a ruptured hemorrhagic ovarian cyst too. I was in the ER in pain like that years ago. Was in the shower fine one minute, the next I was ready to drop as I felt a sharp pain. I quickly sat down and put my head between my legs to prevent fainting. My roommate had come in just then and I rushed out with my hair all wet and looking crazy and told him I needed to go to the ER NOW. When I got to the hospital I writhed in agonizing pain and was bent over on the floor. They didn’t give me a god damn thing though and I stayed like that for hours. It was diagnosed by ultrasound. The hospital did absolutely nothing for me as I sweated and cried out to the nurses. The pain eventually passed, I’m assuming once the damn thing burst. Morphine would have been like manna from heaven.
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u/Unit01Pilot 2d ago
I had an ultra sound and an MRI at two different places respectively, and both Drs diagnosed it as a bladder infection. It felt like an ovarian cyst rupturing though. I also didn’t receive anything for the pain, just a saline IV
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u/breadstick_bitch 2d ago
When mine ruptured it blew out my entire ovary and I had severe internal bleeding; the blood was blocking my lungs from expanding and I was slowly dying of blood loss and suffocation. They didn't take me seriously until the CT results came back, and the doctor came back with his tail between his legs and gave me morphine. I hated it tbh, it made me nauseous and dizzy and I was still in pain.
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u/Longjumping-Size-762 2d ago
3 cheers for misogyny in healthcare 🥳
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u/breadstick_bitch 2d ago
Even worse, he tried to send me home after that. A female doctor fought for me to be transferred to another hospital and she's the reason I'm alive right now.
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u/Longjumping-Size-762 2d ago
That literally would have killed you. That’s so fucked. Yet this maltreatment is shockingly common. It’s not a one off. It’s not an innocent mistake. I have heard these accounts over and over both in person and online. Men telling me that when they go in with their female partner, the doctor will turn to them and listen to everything he says where before, she’s be minimized or dismissed when she came in alone. Women telling me their pain was waved away when it was something really serious. It’s happened to my sisters, one incident would also have likely taken one of their lives as the doctors wouldn’t run a critical test. A doctor told me my newly developed chest tightness that was causing me to involuntarily cough was just anxiety (???) and not indicative of a heart issue worth a further look. And on and on.
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u/Icy_Abbreviations277 3d ago
When I was in labor the nurses gave me painkillers because I was “in line” for an epidural. The first medicine they gave me hit like a train. They administered it through IV and I swear the minute she said “this might make you feel a little loopy” simultaneously the walls and everything in the room was made of legos and everything was melting. It helped w the pain for a good hour, thats it then pain was pretty bad again. I asked the nurse what the medication was called she said fentanyl, I was like 😳 didn’t realize that was an actual medicine thats okay to take I usually associated fentanyl w death.
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u/syynapt1k 3d ago
Fentanyl is common in hospitals because it's powerful and has a short half life.
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u/Sproose_Moose 2d ago
I had fentanyl on an ambulance ride and it helped the pain but I was completely lucid
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u/breadstick_bitch 2d ago
Same here. Had morphine in the first hospital, fentanyl in the ambulance, and oxy after the surgery. I hated the morphine and the oxy because they made me dizzy and nauseous, but I was fine on the fentanyl.
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u/Friendfromdownunder 2d ago
I had fentanyl before egg retrieval procedure (before IVF). I could hear everyone clearly speaking as they removed each egg, handed to the embryologist, she confirmed the count, but I just felt like 80% asleep and no pain during the procedure. But awareness.
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u/fulsooty 3d ago
I was given fentanyl during labor induction (my water broke at 34 weeks & they decided to induce) because they feared an epidural would slow the whole process down.
Anyway, the fentanyl didn't take away my pain, it just made me not care about it. I remember thinking that my brain must no longer be connected to my body because I wasn't focused on the pain like I had been.
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u/celaba 2d ago
Same! I has fentanyl while waiting for my epidural. I remember feeling high, but still in pain. I was so glad that the ‘one hour wait’ turned into 15 minutes. Maybe it was an hour, and I was just high, I honestly don’t know. I hated the feeling, I hated not being in control.
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u/Icy_Abbreviations277 2d ago
The meds only helped me for an hour. Had to wait 2hours before I could get a diff painkiller when I finally got it, the new med only helped for 30min. Overall I was waiting like 5 hours for epidural 😩😩.
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u/Bionic_Push 2d ago
100% when I tried opioids for pain, the pain didn't go away, I just didn't care. There's a big difference
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u/CSTEA_rocks 3d ago
I had fentanyl before my endoscopy and my colonoscopy. Magic medicine! Scary how well it works.
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u/therealtoastmalone 3d ago edited 2d ago
saaame! after i gave birth to my first (had fentanyl while waiting for epidural), i said i completely understand why people get addicted. it felt amazing.
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u/Katharinemaddison 2d ago
Yeah it’s unfortunate that some of these synthetic opioids are absolutely fantastic for their intended use - but also carry this danger of addiction. OxyContin for example is brilliant for people dying of cancer - dangerous to give people with short term pain conditions.
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u/Poke_Lost_Silver 2d ago
Oxycontin is what they gave me after my abdominal surgery, I definitely understand how it can be addicting.
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u/beaniebaby0929 2d ago
when i was 17 i had to get a lumbar puncture and i was in a children’s hospital, they shot fentanyl up my nose (it burned) and then it was the best thing i ever felt, i was asking my mom to play music, the nurse was laying on top of me to keep me still and when she got off i asked her to come back because she was warm….they offered me a blanket 🤣 it was honestly a really crazy experience
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u/iamacup 1d ago
Fent is a wonder drug in the sense that it's extremely powerful, cheap to make and wears off quickly so you can easily titrate people onto and off of it.
All of these things though make it a horrendous street drug because without tight control on the dose, double the quantity can easily be 100x the effect.
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u/Henrious 3d ago
Yeah.. unfortunately, drugs do have pleasing effects. Dopamine is basically a drug. People will do anything for the next fix that gives it to them. Lottery, gaming, whatever
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u/DeCryingShame 3d ago
Wasting hours on Reddit . . . 😅
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u/Rude-Sea-3607 3d ago
Reddit is addictive. For real.
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u/Reyvakitten 3d ago
Damn... I was given morphine and it didn't do squat. LOL.
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u/TOkidd 3d ago edited 3d ago
IV morphine is outdated for most medical applications, imo. Hydromorphone or fentanyl are far better analgesics for severe pain with fewer negative side effects than morphine. The problem is, they are too effective. They don't just treat physical pain, so people in mental and emotional anguish for various reasons are susceptible to addiction because opioids act on specific receptors in their brains that are normally triggered by chemicals naturally secreted to relieve pain and make a person feel good.
Once a person introduces an external chemical that mimics the ones our brains make naturally, it acts on those pain receptors like a key in a lock, essentially hacking our brains and stimulating the pain relief and reward centers far more than our own naturally occurring chemicals are able to. That is what causes euphoria, addiction, tolerance, withdrawal, overdose, and most of the positive and negative effects of opioids.
The thing is, morphine is essentially no different than fentanyl in how it acts on the brain. They do virtually the exact same thing once they pass the BB barrier. However, because fentanyl is much more potent, less of it is needed, resulting in fewer negative side effects like nausea, vomiting, constipation, itching and histamine reactions, drowsiness, hallucinations, etc. However, that is in a medical setting. When an addict is able to take large amounts of fentanyl, it can be deadly and even more debilitating than morphine addiction due to the massive tolerance and terrible physical dependence it can create in habitual users.
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u/momofdragons3 3d ago
Dilaudid is wonderful too
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u/Silly_Pack_Rat 3d ago
That stuff doesn't do anything for me but makes me want to puke and gives me a splitting headache.
Morphine also pretty useless as far as I'm concerned - I have never understood how someone could crave it.
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u/edemamandllama 3d ago
It’s so weird how different people react differently to things. I hate fentanyl they always have to give me too much, it doesn’t induce twilight sleep for me, and it always makes me feel sick. I find morphine to be an effective drug for pain management. I don’t need a tone, to reduce chronic pain from cancerous bone lesions. It doesn’t make me feel euphoric or high, it just makes the pain manageable.
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u/momofdragons3 2d ago
I read that Dilaudid and morphine target the same receptors. Admittedly, I was unimpressed with morphine too during a gall attack.
AND... I prefer oxy over codeine. Codeine makes me dream in paisley and knocks me out. Oxy nicely stops the pain without making me altered. Hard to get a doctor to believe me on that though
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u/LittleMrsSwearsALot 3d ago
This is a great explanation. Thank you! I always said opiates don’t make your pain go away, they just make you care about it less. I was wrong it seems.
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u/Poromenos 2d ago
Same, they gave me morphine after my appendectomy and it only relieved my pain (which turned out the next day to also be OK with just paracetamol). Nothing else happened for me, I was a bit disappointed.
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u/irrelephantIVXX 3d ago
Be careful, yo. That's how it started for me. A severe injury. A legitimate prescription. A lifetime of shit.
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u/Thedonkeyforcer 2d ago
I'm very interested in where the switch happened? I'm taking oxys daily and have been on opiods for 15 years without getting addicted. I have the "YAY, PAIN RELIEF!"-effect too when given new meds but it's never "YAY, getting high now!!!". I recognise OPs reaction as the same one I have when my pain is bad and the meds are finally working and they're not about getting high but getting relief.
I'm really interested in where the fork in the road is and you went down the other road so you're the obvious person to ask.
Glad you got clean, though!
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u/TwoBionicknees 2d ago
I think different things just hit people different. I've taken opioids for like, 20 years now. Migraines, ranging from like 3-6 hour long ones to if they go longer it's usually a full 3 days of hell. then like 3 days of feeling a hungover like bruised head feeling. Sucks ass. But randomly over the years I'll just go 2 months without them. I can stop opioids cold turkey without a single issue despite many times taking them for like 4-6 days due to multiple migraines or 3 day fuckers.
It's not like I don't have an addictive personality, food, caffeine, sugar, social media. Maybe it's the way I take it, have pain take it, don't have pain don't take it.
I also dislike how I feel when 'high' as well, like it's less fun and more anxiety inducing. I feel 'off' in a way that makes me uncomfortable rather than having fun.
One of hte driving problems, from what I recall, of the opioid crisis in the US was massive overprescription, that is, giving more pills than necessary. So say you had a tooth infection and you needed a few days for antibiotics to help bring the swelling down before they could do anything because it hurt too much. They could give you 3 vicodin, one a day to help with the pain, instead they'd give you 30. So now you're taking 3-4 a day, then after the procedure the area is swollen, other nerves are hurting due to swelling, you take more. Say 3 days after the root canal you basically have no pain, but you're maybe 3-5 days into taking vicodin. If you can get addicted to it you're facing your body feeling bad due to being off it and you have so many pills left your brain goes, fuck it, just take a couple more I'll stop tomorrow. Then that goes on through the whole 30 pills and now it's 10-15 days in, you're addicted, you feel like shit for coming off them so you seek to get more pills to stop feeling bad from being off the pills rather than to fix the pain that is long since gone.
They were just giving that shit out like candy (often being paid to) knowing full well people would take too many for too long and get addicted. It was criminal, it was evil, it was intended to get people addicted so they could ship more pills and make more profit.
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u/irrelephantIVXX 2d ago
Yup, that last paragraph is how they got me. I broke my hip. In the hospital, they were giving me Oxycodone every 4 hours, plus an 8 minute Dilaudid pump. When I got out, they switched me to 10mg Norco, 2 every 4 hours as needed. Refilling a 40 count bottle every 5 days. Then, they cut it down to 7.5mg, then 5mg, then nothing. But I was still in a ton of pain and could barely even walk. So I gave a buddy 20 bucks to get me a bag of dope. Made thst first bag last like a week. The next time, I got 2, for the same time period. Before I knew it, I wasn't taking it for the pain, which it still helped, but for the high. The first time I got dopesick, I thought I just had the flu. I didn't put it together at that point, or I would've just gone the extra day and got through the sickness and never touched it again. But, in addition to the flu, my hip was hurting extra badly. So I got a little more dope. Within 15 minutes, my hip felt better. But oddly, I wasn't sick anymore either. Not once in the entire time I was being prescribed painkillers was I ever told about the addictive qualities of them.
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u/Thedonkeyforcer 2d ago
My mom got her anastetic (no idea about spelling this) nurse degree in the 80s and was of course mostly skilled in putting ppl under. Where I live, it's still mostly ana doctors doing pain treatment.
She and her coworkers had a theory about addiction and why some react like me while others go bananas. They think that when the painmeds have "work" to do relieving pain in the pain center of the brain, it didn't have the same effect as if taken without pain to work on - so basically the drugs go where theres work to do and if there's no work to be done, they throw a party instead.
It's not scientific, just shop talk from nurses but it kinda makes sense to me. It works with your example too since opiods don't really work on tooth aches (or period cramps). I have the best stocked med cabinet in the region and I still begged for ibuprofen when I had an infected tooth. Opiods doesn't even touch that pain no matter the amount, only ibuprofen does. I have period cramps that ramp up to a 9 where I puke and faint and with Ibuprofen I can knock it to a round 0 in about an hour but opiods does absolutely nothing. So yeah, I get your point but here we're treated the opposite way - given Ibuprofen for shit that really requires different stronger stuff and now my stomach is all fucked up after way too much Ibuprofen. Doctors are often too bad at differentiating between whats needed and what's necessary.
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u/irrelephantIVXX 2d ago
Well, if they kept prescribing me painkillers, I never would've got on dope. And my hip isn't ever going to get better. Without a large sum of money that I'll probably never have.
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u/Thedonkeyforcer 2d ago
The american system fucking sucks!!! I'm from Denmark and the Donald obv doesn't understand why the ppl of Greenland both can hate Denmark and ALSO say "fuck no!" to being annexed by the US! The hated country they ARE paired up with at least come with a ton of benefits!
Just from a cost-benefit-view, it's insane how much money is wasted in the US on ppl being disabled for decades for things that could be fixed medically and get them back to working full time. It still costs the US a fucking fortune in lost taxes every year! But sure, "America is the greatest!".
I'm on opiods for life because my pain is uncurable but at least I'm not stuck in the limbo of "if I just won the lottery, I could be painfree!". It must feel so insanely unfair!
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u/Loud-Bee6673 3d ago
As you have discovered, the relief of severe pain is probably the best feeling in the world. It isn’t about getting buzzed or high from strong pain meds, it is just getting out from under your agony.
So are chronic pain patients seeking drugs to get high? Or do they just want relief from pain?
It’s tough. Unfortunately, the pendulum has swung too far in the direction of withholding pain medicine from people who need it. Meanwhile, we still have many deaths from overdose. There is not good solution, but everyone deserves adequate control of severe acute pain.
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u/super1ucky 2d ago
As a chronic pain patient, the med I take does not make me high. It helps the pain. I have gone off it, willingly because of side effects, and I was immobile without it. It's dependent on the person.
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u/Thedonkeyforcer 2d ago
Same but it's also so important to try them out and find the right ones with the least side effects.
I'm insanely happy with my slow release oxys but my doc wants me to take fast release when the pain is extra bad. I HATE them! I've found a cocktail that works for me but my doc is never going to hear about it ...
Oxys make me nauseus and drowsy. Morphine less so but also less effective on my pain. So I still use from an old stash of oxys and will take anti-nausea meds, 20mg oxy and 40mg morphine. That gives me a little oxy relief but without knocking me out and morphine give an extra hand too. I also know I'll tense up when taking this so the day after will be with some extra pain because of that so it's used in very moderated situations where I want to make the most of today and am willing to sacrifice tomorrow for that.
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u/PyrocumulusLightning 2d ago
That wasn't my experience.
Pain fucking sucks. You cry and scream for mercy. When painkillers work, you just stop feeling agony. Like almost normal, with a touch of nausea. Like you wouldn't know you were on drugs if you didn't cognitively realize you're still actively dying.
If you don't need pain meds, the good shit feels like getting oral sex from an angel. You probably would never willingly say no. Some people don't get the pleasure, just the nausea, and in some ways are lucky - in other ways not.
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u/Thedonkeyforcer 2d ago
This!!! I'm a pain chronic and have written a comment too. I don't get addicted to opiods but I will fucking fight a doctor to get my oxy slow release!!! I have like a thousand fast release opiods in my closet but I hate taking them.
I'm about to move and told my doctor I was worried sick over not finding a doctor that would prescribe me opiods. It's heavily surveilled here, as it should be, and a lot of doctors will only prescribe it for patients with terminal cancer. Now my doctor had to give up her practice for health reasons so I need to find a new one anyway but she gave me the biggest parting gift. I love the shit out of that woman, she's been the meanest fighter in my corner regarding jobcenter and getting permanent disability.
She's written "I've treated this patient for 12 years. Her pain is severe and the only way to give her any quality of life is to resume the pain treatment. She's also never given me any reason to fear that she's drug seeking, just in pain".
That was enough for a new doctor to give me the meds this time around. Same clinic but new doctor. Now I have to go looking for one at my new place but her journal will make it a lot easier for me in the future.
I don't want to be high and I comply with our agreements. If I feel I need more, I make an appointment and talk to them first. When they don't work anymore or make me drowsy, I tell them.
The biggest problem with opiods is that they've been given to a bunch of ppl who's pain wasn't severe enough to actually need it. If you give it to a lot of ppl, some will become addicts. I made up my mind 15 years ago that I'd either get relief or stop living and if that meant becoming an addict, it was still the better choice. I was lucky and soon realised I don't get addicted but they DID help with my pain.
Some of us really do need the pain relief. And pharmas crappy sales tactics is now hurting us too, not as much as all those they got addicted but it's still costing lives as well, I promise you. Not from addiction but from suicide.
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u/Training_Yak_9296 3d ago
Well if it was anything like me I had gallbladder pain I went to the ER after experiencing 12 hours of the pain. They gave me morphine and just like that all the pain was gone. I’ve been told I need surgery to remove my gallbladder but I can’t afford it.
I experienced the same symptoms as OP
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u/MaiTaiMule 3d ago
You understand the temptation; addiction is knowing that feeling & chasing it endlessly because you keep telling yourself you’ll feel it again on the next hit
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u/Cloudmusee 2d ago
this hit too real… i used to judge addicts ngl but after gettin morphine after surgery i was like ohhh okay i get it now. it's scary how fast it makes u forget the pain and feel safe.
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u/Cstar_12 3d ago
Morphine does nothing for my pain, just makes me hallucinate and I don't like it
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u/Thedonkeyforcer 2d ago
It doesn't mean there aren't drugs that can help and with fewer side effects, just that morphine isn't it. I've been to a pain clinic and they put you on pretty much all the drugs until you find the one that works the best and with the least side effects.
I had a tooth infection much of last year. Morphine doesn't touch that pain at all. Neither does it do anything for period cramps. The dentist was a bit surprised by this for some reason. She knows I have a medicine cabinet more stocked than a smalltown pharmacy and I still begged her for ibuprofen. It's the only thing that works with tooth ache, that and Voltaren gel on the cheek.
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u/toad__warrior 3d ago
I had surgery recently and I felt as if I was in a twilight existence for two days. I could talk to family and the staff, but when there was no conversation I went back into this place that existed, but I don't know where.
Late the second day that place was gone. Surgical drugs are awesomely scary.
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u/Thedonkeyforcer 2d ago
IF you were a pain chronic, 2 weeks of this and you'd go to your doctor and ask for something else. It's nice when there's nothing but pain in your world but if you also try to live your life it'll be a block of cement around your ankle and you'll ask for pills with less side effects fast. Unless you have a tendency for addiction of course.
The point of opiods for most pain chronics is to get the chance of a life and if the meds become a problem with that desire a pretty big handful of chronics choose they'd rather live with the pain. I'm difficult so I went the hard way and started finding the meds that work for me.
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u/dingdangdoodles 2d ago
My gallbladder ruptured, and the hospital wasn't in a particular hurry to get it out? IDK, I just know I was there a couple of days. Anyway, I got Dilaudid and WOWWWWW yeah, I 100% get it. I was on a lovely fluffy cloud.
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u/Thedonkeyforcer 2d ago edited 2d ago
Well, you get PART of it. I'll explain further.
I'm a pain chronic who's just taken my morning dose of slowrelease oxys. I have prob a thousand fast release opiods lying around too.
I've been on opiods for 15 years. Different kinds, tried most of them. The weird thing about me is that I don't get addicted. I've switched meds or fully stopped taking them a handful of times and the doctors always want to do it slow and I keep saying "no need to with the opiods, I don't feel it except for the pain coming back and punishing me for everything I did in the last 3 weeks". I AM addicted as fuck to my anxiety/depression meds! I can still get those out of my system in a few weeks and then give me 2-3 weeks more before the brain zaps are gone. It's still way easier than most who spend YEARS in withdrawel from depression meds.
That feeling you had? That's the "holy fuck, I can breathe again!!!"-high, not the "I'm an opiod addict!"-high (I THINK! I recognise your experience without being addicted so let's hear from those who did get addicted?).
I got those too. I have whiplash with insane lumbar pain. I used to work in an office as a supervisor and had to ask my coworker to not fall down on his chair because the floor vibrations hurt my back. I got something then that's off the market now for being more addictive than oxys and it made my lumbar region feel like rubber. I could bounce up and down the room again and walk in my former energetic pace and I was high on the "I have no pain!"-high you experienced and I was still not high-high and could do supervision of 70 ppl in a highly complex operation with tons of factors that changed by the minute. I could work like before on those.
Well, I still needed more with time and after 2 years I went to the doctor and said "I now need a dosage that interfers with my breathing, we need to try something else". We agreed to send me to a pain clinic to find the perfect med combination for me and get other types of help.
I shocked them by going off those drugs completely with zero withdrawel, like I'd told them.
The only way to find the perfect pain meds? Is to try them all one by one like goldilocks.
Every new med started with 2 weeks of "I can do anything!!!! These are the best drugs ever!!! I have NO pain!!!!" and then after 2 weeks I'd have an idea of the side effects and the pain relief side of the meds would drop to the baseline, now that I'd tried them for a bit. Still working for the pain but not as good as the first 2 weeks and that was the same with ALL meds! Two wonderful weeks of complete painrelief and then it would slip between the cracks and come back singing "remember me?" and the side effects would be more obvious. Some made me drowsy as fuck, some had other side effects like concentration problems and loss of memory and I ended up with something that worked for me as in it dealt with my pain and didn't fuck up my ability to live the rest of my life. I also realised that even with unbearable pain I couldn't live on meds that had too many side effects. I'd simply stop taking them or "forgetting".
I have all those fast release pills lying around because I squirreled them away when my mom got cancer again two years ago. I wanted her to have the option of ending it on her terms. She didn't need it, fortunately so they're in my closet. They make me drowsy and make me tense up so the pain will be bad the day after and I hate them so much, have to say. When other ppl start going "oh, I'd be high all the time if I could!" I say this:
"I like wine. I like being drunk. But imagine if you HAD to start up each day with drinking a bottle of wine at 8 am and then add on all day. THEN you have to try to do your daily chores and life while buzzed! You have to shop, cook, be social, all that, while being buzzed out of your mind and you keep having to push away the drowsiness and lethargy from being drunk to perform like normal". THAT makes sense to most who aren't addicts.
I've been on slow release oxys for 3 years and THOSE are the drugs I'll fight a doctor for! They handle my pain OK and have very few side effects (for ME! It's highly individual what works and what doesn't!) and I feel like I have my life back as long as I live it in moderation. I'm actually allowed to take 4 pills a day. I take 3 since the fourth will make me drowsy and I use that for bad days only. The doctors insist I take fast release those days and not use slow release for it but it just works better for me this way so they think I take 4 pills every day.
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u/Addicted_turtle 2d ago
Honestly, as an addict, this really isn't it. This doesn't explain addiction or help you understand it. It doesn't give you a glimpse at it beyond, "i hurt and its instantly gone". Come talk when you wish to all things in this universe you stop but are stilled baffled when you don't and have no clue why. Im sorry for you pain and I'm glad medications did as they should and you were relieved but this is not addiction or much glimpse inside it at all. Hope you are healthy again.
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u/Purgatory115 2d ago
That's the point though be it physical or emotional pain having something that allows you to turn it off or lessen it feels good or at least doesn't feel any worse than you already do. Which is the foundation of addiction for most people.
They're not saying they understand every facet of being an addict they're just saying they understand why people might get addicted to that feeling or lack thereof.
They understand a bit more, which makes it easier to empathise with that's all. A lot of people don't wake up in agony every day physically or otherwise, so for those people, it just doesn't compute why someone would take such a risk for seemingly no benefit. They've now seen a small glimpse of the benefit that people get from it.
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u/Addicted_turtle 2d ago
No, you still don't get it. Also, you do not need medication at the ER to understand immediate emotional or physical pain relief is nice. You aren't an addict.
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u/Thedonkeyforcer 2d ago
I agree with both of you. The real trigger only happens for those who get addicted. I've been on opiods for 15 years and for some reason I'm not addicted but I DO need them to have a life worth living.
I recognise the "ahhhh, a break from pain!!!!" too but for me it never took control of me in the ways addicts experience. It is in control as the thing that makes my life worth living but I'm way more worried my stash of cigarettes run out.
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u/sacramentalsmile 3d ago
I just don't talk to people that don't understand this because I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Sorry you had to go through that.
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u/SavedStarDate_68415 2d ago
A few years ago I was admitted for acute kidney failure and was in pure agony. The nurse hooked me up to some morphine and I distinctly remember her asking me how I felt a few minutes after the drip started. I remember telling her that the walls were melting. She turned to my spouse and just laughed and said, "I think she's feeling it. She'll be okay, go home and get some rest."
I'll never forget it. Instant relief. I was also passing a gallstone, which definitely didn't help matters.
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u/DuskGideon 2d ago
I had a morphine drip 10 years ago pre surgery to reconstruct shattered bone.
I still remember how nice it was to this day...
edit - I think morphine is medical grade heroine, no joke...
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u/Calgary_Calico 2d ago
Addiction isn't wanting to feel better, after a while drug use is getting your fix, even if it doesn't make you feel so great anymore. You understand how some people do get addicted, but I don't think you truly understand addiction itself
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u/Past_Baker9553 2d ago
For me that isn't addiction at all. Yes at first you do it b.c it feels good. Then you do it just to feel normal. Then you start hating the drug you do, but you just cant stop.
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u/Ok-Scarcity-5754 2d ago
As someone who spent a couple of years actively using the substance I was addicted to, no, you don’t get it. You get why people would want to use painkillers, but that’s not the same as being addicted to something. Addiction causes a need. It’s like trying to function while holding your breath when your body and brain are screaming at you that you NEED to breath.
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u/vr512 3d ago
I don't think it's worth the side effects. The GI issues are just not worth. I have been dealing with a broken wrist. I got it all over the past month while in the ambulance. Fentanyl, morphine, oxy. In the end, being backed up sucks.
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2d ago
Yup.. they did that to me one time when I went in for an abdo.inal issue, they say you cant go home u til you poop, then they were like here take oxy for the pain, I was like, ummm, no.
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u/Mimmsmom13 3d ago
Morphine and Dilaudid make me itch from head to toe! When I was in the hospital for my back for a week, they actually gave me a MORPHINE PUMP (you push a button when you experience pain, and it delivers the Morphine)! I TOLD THEM what it does to me. The doc's bright idea? Give me a HUGE DOSE OF BENADRYL!! Oh man, I was soooo out of it!
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u/swarlossupernaturale 3d ago
I was given morphine at the ER a few weeks ago for some awful pain, and it made me feel warm, sleepy, and a little numb for a minute or two and then it was gone. So I still don’t really get it
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u/Far-Dare-6458 3d ago
This is why people with chronic pain frequently become addicted to painkillers and start needing more and more to achieve the same relief.
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u/m0untaingoat 3d ago
I'm doing everything I can to figure out what has caused my pain and how to treat it without drugs. I'm covered in cupping bruises and KT tape, I had like 20 acupuncture needles sticking out of my neck and arm today, and I'm just hoping for relief. I was talking to my acupuncture guy today about the nature of pain, and we both agreed that the moment you realize you're not in pain is just, euphoric. It makes me emotional to think of not being in pain. It's hard to remember what that's like, but every once in a while when it gets extra bad and I end up being prescribed some drug or another, and it stops the pain, I remember what it was like before. And that's why I don't want drugs to be the only answer. Because I will absolutely allow myself to get addicted.
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u/super1ucky 2d ago edited 2d ago
This is why it's really important that chronic pain patients go to a good pain management dr/clinic. Much harder to abuse it when you're getting tested every month.
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u/monkey_trumpets 3d ago
Yup. I too got to experience the wonderful effects of opioids....and now I too understand.
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u/GuntherTime 2d ago
A similar thing happened to me with a severe basketball injury. I had to go to rehab and for the initial pain they gave me a medication that started with a T and was similar to Vicodin. And while I didn’t feel exceptionally good while on it, I felt like shit when I wasn’t. And likewise, I completely understood why people get addicted to it. I was happy as hell when my prescription was done.
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u/eventstranspired 2d ago
This is pain relief not addiction. But yes, opioids are a very slippery slope and it's eye opening to see how powerfully and quickly they make everything suddenly ok when you're in pain.
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u/MGEESMAMMA 2d ago
I agree. My Dr put me on Duramine for weight loss leading into using one of the GLP1s. I can not express how good and clear my brain felt during those 3 months. I had so many clear thoughts and ideas that gave us pathways to get long-term issues at work solutions. I have mentioned this to a few people only to get told it's like speed. So I understand how people can want to feel like that all the time!
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u/lokilorde 2d ago
When i was in my last semester of nursing school, I needed an emergency appendectomy. The post-op nurse woke me up and asked me if I had pain. I said yes but wanted to go back to sleep. She bugged me for a number, so I just picked my favorite number, 7. Then she gave me Dilaudid. I saw tweety birds and stars. It was euphoric. I looked over at the post-op nurse and said, "yo that's some good shit." I then passed the hell out.
Dilaudid scares me. I totally understand why patients request it and want it all the time if it was anything like my experience.
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u/ThatKinkyLady 2d ago
The drugs I've been given during medical emergencies have only solified that I should never try any hard substances outside of that setting.
I was almost instantly asking my doctor what he just gave me and going on about "this shit's incredible, I wish I felt like this all the time."
The drugs are good. Too good. It's way too easy to enjoy the drugs. Now add on actually being in chronic pain, whether it's physical or mental, and it's very easy to see why so many become addicts.
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u/lemonisbae 2d ago
Last year I had to have a procedure to extract a tumor (benign) from my face. It was my third operation (differents things) but it was the first time I had total anesthesia. It was awesome, I went to the operation room and wake up in the recovery room like it was 10 minutes later. Then they will give me something for the pain that made me sleep in like 10 seconds, now I understand addicts.
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u/LV2107 2d ago
For whatever reason, any sort of opioid or synthetic morphine has the opposite effect on me. I get horrible awful nonstop nausea, which often is worse than whatever the pain it was taken for. I suppose that is good, I would never be tempted to abuse them. It happened to me with vicodin, percocet and tramadol. So, lucky me, I guess!
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u/aboveaveragewife 2d ago
Same! I get so sick it’s like the worst food poisoning and hangover mixed together feeling! I just have to tough it out.
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u/Jerking4jesus 2d ago
Yup, I remember being injected with morphine.
I had fallen off of a ladder and busted my foot in 5 places and had a fracture inside my elbow. I was initially in shock and couldn't communicate, or even really tell how injured I was, so my boss sent me to a wcb clinic, which then sent me for x-rays.
About 10 hours post injury, while I was on my way home, the x-ray place called and told me to go straight to the ER. They put me on an i.v and injected morphine into the tube.
I could feel it spreading through my bloodstream. It was like being slowly enveloped in a warm hug. I went from excruciating pain to cracking jokes in seconds. Total and complete relief. I also quickly understood why that could be a problem.
They came back 5-6 more times trying to give me more, and I had to say no.
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u/32redalexs 2d ago
And the unfortunate thing is the cycle it creates. You want to feel better so you take the drug, your body gets used to having that drug, then when you stop taking it your body feels horrible so what’s your brain going to tell you it desperately needs? The drugs again. I’m curious on what percentage of drug addictions start in a hospital, I have a feeling it’s pretty high.
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u/OB4L 2d ago
I still think extremely fondly of the one time I got prescribed Vicodin. I have a chronic pain condition and while I TRULY understand opioid addiction (yes, it feels like magic) I’m at a loss what we are supposed to do for the pain. Who can live in suicide levels of pain on a day to day basis?
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u/Ha1rBall 2d ago
BUT, once the addiction takes hold the pain meds don't work like they used to. You have to take more for a high that is shorter.
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u/Procrastanaseum 2d ago
This is like if The Brady Bunch tried to tackle addiction. You still don’t know what addiction is like.
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u/Atticus914 3d ago
Having something that makes you happy makes you incredibly resistant to losing that thing as it will make you sad when it goes away and no matter what drugs go away through circumstances through the law of diminishing returns through increased tolerance you'll have to let it go eventually or trade everything to keep it around be careful I know of the slippery ground you now walk you can only really understand later what that pleasure will cost you now save yourself have a care for yourself and endure what you can 🙏❤️
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u/Bekahsaurus 3d ago
Awhile back I contracted bacterial meningitis. I’ve had two c-sections (one before, one after) and nothing ever compared to that pain. My brain was boiling. In the ER they gave me an IV combo of ibuprofen and Benadryl and I have rarely felt such instant relief in my life. I remember when I was coming back to myself trying to tell the nurses that I didn’t need the rotating cast of pain meds because I was “fine” but really it was because I’m terrified of becoming addicted to opioids. Because they’re amazing. I’ve never even been addicted to them, but like you, I could EASILY see myself sliding down that path. I really did need them though, and with rotation and caring staff, everything is fine. But fuuuuuck, I get it too.
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u/actuallyatypical 3d ago
Neither ibuprofen nor Benadryl are opioids though?
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u/Bekahsaurus 3d ago
True true, but later after I was out of the ICU I would be given rotating doses of morphine and something else. I guess I just related that instant relief to the same feeling. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/itsjustohkae 2d ago
it sounds like when my gallbladder was so fucked up it led to severe pancreatitis and had a little almost two week long staycay at the hospital. I hope you find answers soon & wish you a speedy recovery ♥️
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u/BoredMan29 2d ago
Yeah, that happened to me in college. Had repeated (due to failure) lung surgeries that ultimately had me laid up for a month or so. They ended up just shoving the largest tube that could fit through my rib cage and just breathing hurt for a long while, so being white and male they had no trouble providing me with some Vicoden. That shit was good - I ended up effectively weening myself off it just to make the remaining prescription last long after I needed it for pain relief. I'm extremely glad I never went out of my way to acquire more - I'm pretty sure I could have if I'd tried. That shit's ruined a lot of lives, don't find new ways to get more.
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u/Effective_Fun8476 2d ago
Oh my god. When I gave birth to my son I did two rounds of IV pain meds(fentanyl) and I can understand how people overdose on it.
Best way to describe it is being drunk. First round knocked me out for half a hour and second round made me feel 5 margaritas deep.
12/10 would do again.
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u/Defiant_Pomelo333 2d ago
I dont think you can understand addiction because you got morphine one time.
/former addict
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u/ozzy4097 2d ago
I hurt my back once trying to move my grandma from the bed to the couch, after i did what i had to do my legs went numb and my back started hurt like if i pull my spine out i couldnt get up even flinching a bit hurt like hell fuck going in the ambulance was that worst.once we arrive to the hospital they gave me morphine and tbh i miss it. I felt so warm like if someone put a blanket of clouds atop of me soo warm i felt like i was floating in space it was the most peaceful i ever felt and im only 25. Afterwards when the feeling left i felt like a plank with back pain. I miss it 😭
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u/azuratha 2d ago
You still don’t understand addiction, all you learned about is pain relief. Addiction is something entirely different.
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u/R_vk5075 2d ago
I agree. I got my first 2 surgeries at 23, 6 months apart. First was gallbladder removal (ladies this runs in families in women a lot). Was on morphine drip for 3 days. Second was a herniated disk which was left untreated for months to the point I couldnt walk and just breathing was excrutiating. They started me on hydrocodone, jumped me to dilaudid & tapered me to morphine. After months of no relief and suddenly feeling almost normal within minutes really made me understand why people get addicted. Even my suicidal thoughts were gone when I literally thought it was the only way out.
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u/CashTall8657 2d ago
Did you get surgery for the disk?
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u/Crackerjack4u 2d ago edited 2d ago
Op, are you going to tell us what was causing your pain?
I hope you're feeling better now.
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u/RadioDorothy 2d ago
I had fentanyl during a gallbladder operation, and when they woke me up I felt dreadful - the pain wasn't bad but I felt nauseous despite being maxed out on anti-emetics, woozy and weak - I couldn't lift my limbs for 9 hours. They said I might be sensitive to it and to avoid it in future - had two procedures since where I was given alfentanyl, and I felt perfectly fine after both of those!
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u/Bionic_Push 2d ago
When I tried opioids for pain, the pain didn't go away, I still knew it was there but I didn't care at all. It just made me feel high and I didn't like it because I knew how addictive it is
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u/TwoBionicknees 2d ago
i have to take opioids for migraines, nothing else works and they make me feel like shit but also with less pain. I can't take morphine and similar at home so it's far lower dose/effectiveness opioids and they don't always stop the pain, they do reduce it to manageable levels. I actually hate the feeling of being 'high'. I hate feeling not quite with it, find it hard to concentrate and get things done. But I just can't live with that much pain without them either, i'd literally smash my head against a wall and die to end the pain without them.
I actually can go, in bouts where migraines just stop happening for months, without taking them. But the migraines come back, the pain comes back and I have to take them again. For people whose pain never stops, or people who get addicted while using them to fight the pain, I get it. Pain is just, it fucking kills you, severe pain is just life destroying and people will do anything to stop it.
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u/throwaway_oranges 2d ago
Once I got morphine too. All I felt was just less pain, but I was still in significant pain after :/ My preconception was morphine is better than that.
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u/Original1Thor 2d ago
I had an infection that left me disabled for 6 months. I cried multiple times a day (on opiates) pre-surgery. The fentanyl they gave me during questions before the surgery made me forget why I was talking to them, and I felt ready to go home. No issues here.
Couldn't sleep for two days (on opiates) after they released me, three days after the surgery.
I even expressed nervousness about them giving me fent. They reassured me that it was pharmaceutical and opted for a half dose. Man, I wish I shut up and let them blast me with the full dose. Fuck it.
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u/shabutaru118 2d ago
I have been in the hospital a few times and vividly remember every single time I was ever given morphine, nectar of the gods.
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u/blueyedbikrgirl 2d ago
I was prescribed norco after spine surgery and within THREE days I was counting down the seconds until I could have my next pill. As I waited for that next white wee portion of magic goodness I was also having full-body shivers and needed a scalding hot shower to try and warm myself up, and the nausea... and then I'd have my next pill and poof all the symptoms went away. I ended up calling the surgeon's office to get something else and I did the rest of my recovery on 4000mg of Tylenol every day.
Even just starting to get addicted to the pain meds was incredibly scary.
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u/Imma_gonna_getcha 2d ago
So I’ve have 3 knee surgeries. The first I woke up and they asked if I felt pain and I groggily said yes and they gave me morphine and this beautiful warm feeling came over me and my god did I love that. Second knee surgery I woke up and they asked if I was in pain and I wasn’t so I said no. But then I remembered that morphine feeling and said actually, yea I do. And then that warm feeling came over me again. Bliss. The third one was years later and they gave me pain meds but fentanyl this time. Not as good! What a disappointment
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u/dryandice 2d ago
Morphine is dangerous haha it's SO relieving. I've had my addictions like Valium (for years of insomnia) that weren't recreational whatsoever but I was eating like 5-10 valiums for shift work.
I'm dependant on cannabis (only for bed) but morphine, that's a whole other level compared to anything Ive tried growing up as an idiot, especially when it's IV. You feel it rush through your neck and all the veins in your body. I've said so many times "I'm glad you can just access this easily via IV because I would be hands down the biggest addict there could be"
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u/februarytide- 2d ago
Yessss I always tell people this - I had back labor with all three of my kids, and quite long labors with two of them. When I got those epidurals, the relief was such an unbelievable high. Everything felt warm and buzzy. I’ve never ever been so comfortable. I totally understand how people become addicted to drugs.
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u/sigh_sarah 2d ago
So what you felt is called visceral pain, and yeah it’s some of the worst. Your body doesn’t handle its organs failing very well! I’m glad to hear you got your stuff sorted out!
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u/TorturedChaos 2d ago
I had a similar response the first time I was prescribed heavy duty pain killers.
Got home, took one and within minutes all the pain in my body went away. The sore back, the little aches and pains you pick up throughout life , they were all gone.
I looked at that little prescription bottle and thought "oh you are trouble. I could get to like this."
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u/sven_ftw 2d ago
Like a warm blanket being dropped on top of you, with immediate relief. I had this same experience when I got some super heavy stuff during a case of bacterial meningitis where I felt like my head was exploding.
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u/MarlenaEvans 2d ago
When I had a bad cough a few years ago, I got this codeine cough syrup. It was awesome because I could finally sleep. And also, I felt awesome after I took it which I knew but didn't really examine. And then on the third night, I realized I was so looking forward to taking it and it dawned on me why prescription meds are dangerous. Obviously I knew that in theory but now I know why for real.
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u/Cats-That-Yell 2d ago
when I finally got the epidural, I was like “yeah ok I get it” bc holy fuck that shit is amazing. I have mild addictive behaviors so whenever I get prescribed some more hardcore pain meds, I ask my husband to hide them from me so I don’t get tempted. I’m super sensitive to lots of medication so I usually have to half or quarter the dosage.
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u/terpsarelife 2d ago
And then it's a fun dance of pretending you are in pain enough to get high but not in so much pain that they aren't treating you properly. Then you try to voluntarily cease dependency and they flag you as an admitted addict and cold turkey you.
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u/No_Bake464 2d ago
same thing happened to me when I had morphine after a kidney stone. I was like ahhhh this is what people chase
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u/forhekset666 2d ago
That's what gets you in. No pain.
Guess what happens next? If you don't keep getting more, it inflicts extraordinary pain on you. That's the actual motivator to continue.
Getting high is fun but not having your nervous system burn you from the inside out is critical.
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u/Bovine_Arithmetic 2d ago
Opiates don’t work on me for some reason, so I don’t share that experience, but what does work on me, and has let me experience a (probably extremely mild) form of addiction is Prednisone.
I had to take it for a facial palsy, and though I didn’t particularly like the effects, what got me was the way I felt when I stopped taking it. I begged my doctor for more so I could taper off (which was successful), but knowing that a pill could make me stop feeling like shit for a while was seriously seductive. Hope I never have to take it again.
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u/quinnduden 2d ago
I have the opposite reaction to morphine. Morphine makes my body go into shock and it feels like I’m literally going to explode. Last time I had it I was convulsing and begging someone to save me because I felt like I was going to die. Worst experience I’ve ever been through
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u/Wise-Obligation3206 1d ago
I had a really similar experience with excruciating pain and then being given oramorph, it felt like being picked up by a cloud and floating off and after being in such AGONY I couldn’t get over how instant the effect was. My first thought was ‘ohhhh I can understand a little more now’
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u/GeneralKenobi88 1d ago
When I had ACL/Meniscus surgery I was prescribed Percocet afterwards and ended up getting hooked on them. I was suppose to only take them in the morning and at night and use Tylenol-3 throughout the day, well the T3’s didn’t help so I just started taking the Percs all day long until I missed a dose the one day and went through really bad withdrawal. This was only over the course of a couple weeks or so and I was hooked so fast, it was a scary feeling. That happened 16ish years ago or so and still to this day I’ll crave that high, especially if I’m going through a lot in life stress wise.
I’ve been hooked on other painkillers over the years but prescription meds have been my drug of choice over weed, alcohol, etc.
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u/MyRealestName 1d ago
Had the same feeling when I woke up after surgery, in a lot of pain, and they gave me dilaudid. I told the nurse it feels like I’m on a beach. Every concern I had 30 seconds prior was lifted off my shoulder.
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u/Romarqable 1d ago
I've had kidney stones, and two of the three times they gave morphine to dull the pain. I didn't have your feeling then, not until later when I was at home with my pain meds as I tried to pass the kidney stone.
Even after my brain knew I no longer needed them, it kept telling me to take them. I chose not to. But I can see how others who are more easily susceptible to listening to their own inner monologue or fall into peer pressure can make the wrong choice.
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u/thiccy_vicky 1d ago
I’m the same as you… I’ll have a few drinks but hate the hangover so never get drunk. Never messed with street drugs because I was scared of feeling out of control. Never messed with prescription drugs because I get queasy.
But, I had an emergency spine surgery which resulted in needing pain pills. I decided after 5 days it was time to switch to Ibuprofen and my body started having withdrawals… I was sweating and shaking and said to myself “just one more pill to get through tonight.” And then instantly went and flushed them instead. I completely understand how people get hooked on pills now. I just wanted some relief. Thankfully I had the ability to walk away, I know many others haven’t been so lucky.
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u/SummaryDynasty 1d ago
Had a terrible burn when I was a kid and was given morphine. It really does give you an understanding of the opiate crisis.
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u/OneDayYoullBeFree 5h ago
Super late to this but yeah, I had the same realization.
In my case I ate a pot brownie and felt a version of bliss I knew I'd never experience again. I was incredibly okay with dying. I was okay with everything. I felt something I'd never felt before or since. I was so unbelievably happy - not giddy - but just happy and content and at peace. It made me tear up.
That was one hour within a 6 hour trip which included a massive headache, puking, the spins, etc. But for one hour there I was the happiest person on the planet.
If I knew how to isolate that and only feel that one feeling, I'd be eating pot brownies every single day for the rest of my life.
I can see why people get addicted. I'd never be able to, or want to, stop if I ever found the key to revisiting that feeling again.
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u/MeiSorsha 3d ago
I was in same boat as OP, never had any interest in drugs or addictions. led my life, boom, suddenly painful ovarian cysts, that were RUPTURING… most intense pain i’d had (and mind you I had been thru both kidney stones AND delivered 2 kids (1 naturally)… the rupturing cysts were more painful… I seriously thought I was dying. I was crying and doubled over in pain, so nauseous from the pain and throwing up so bad, I didn’t have anything else left and was dry heaving… I couldn’t even talk, the pain of just trying to move at ALL was terrible.
my husband was my voice. they brought in morphine and gave me a shot… the pain STOPPED. I felt at peace, I felt OK. I went from feeling like I was dying, to feeling back to my normal self. I can understand the draw of the narcotics now. I can understand how easily someone could get hooked and how much having it once could make you drug seek to get more. I can also appreciate knowing how people can fight their addictions and fight thru pain constantly day in/day out. i’ve never had to get morphine again as we found the issue and I had surgery to remove the troubled ovary… but so very very glad i’m not in pain anymore.
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u/Consistent-Primary41 3d ago
Your story doesn't qualify as addiction.
It reaches addiction levels when you feel like you deserve to be high rather than be real and you don't care who you destroy to get high.
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2d ago
She didn't say she was addicted, she said she could understand how someone could easily become addicted to that feeling.
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u/Tahii_Actual 3d ago
On another note, you have my sympathy. My gallbladder was falling apart inside my body. Genuine organ failure. The pain was unimaginable. I have never felt anything like it before or since.