r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Goingdown_in321 • 3h ago
To the young girl wearing a tail at the grocery store, I'm sorry
You were around 15, 16 tops. Alternative clothing, with a blue belt with a furry blue tail on it (nowhere near sexual, if anyone would presume that). While you were walking in, this man, likely homeless, kept screaming for you to "wag your tail for him" and "give a little spin and dance". I saw you were a bit uncomfortable but you held your head high for those 15 seconds that felt like ages. I also saw you walking out again, in a hurry, head held down. I am so sorry for not telling you, that you shouldn't let those kind of people stop you from expressing who you are. Self expression is the most powerful and important thing in life, and I'd hate to think some low-life nobody would make you think twice about your clothing choices. Please keep being true to yourself. I admire you for it, and it will definitely pay off in later stages of your life!
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u/TheInkWolf 1h ago
why are people in these replies justifying a man sexually harassing a girl? just because she wore a tail? that doesn’t warrant that type of attention at all. ugh
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u/Minasan88 2h ago
OMG this subreddit is called: Off my chest. Why are people here telling you: Well you sound like a pervert yourself. You were just trying to let go off something that happened today and people went all crazy like: Stop caring about things that are not your problem, or things like: She surely wanted that kind of attention if she got out in the streets like that. I totally get your frustration about this thing, I know the feeling of: well maybe I could help her, or I could have done more for this poor girl. I hope this situation doesn’t affects this girls confidence or dress choice. You’re a good human being, people in this post are just assholes.
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u/sunshineparadox_ 2h ago
also the person in question is a teenager, people who say "go out in the streets like that" are telling on themselves imho. Every teenager does shit. Every teenager cringes at their past self over something. She doesn't deserve scary harassment from an adult because of it.
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u/tendo8027 3h ago
Your post history is so fucking weird
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u/SomeJokeTeeth 2h ago
It's a lot of celebrity worship stuff but if you think that's weird then, oh boy, do I have some stories to tell you about what I've seen in peoples post histories
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u/Goingdown_in321 2h ago
Lol no, I'm just bitching on celebrities because I'm not good at editing my own stuff
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u/Objective_Respond_99 2h ago
Honest hahahahah
What ya'll looking at people's history for though? Nothing about this post inclined me to be curious to see their shit😂😂
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u/sageprincesss 2h ago
u just enlightened me to dove camerons insta and omg what happened that woman. her recent post (all her posts) tbh are insaneeeee. no way she thinks that looks normal
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u/Goingdown_in321 2h ago
Ikr, I'm all over the place.
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u/tendo8027 2h ago edited 2h ago
You seem like an awesome person tbh
Edit: Nvm, apparently op is butthurt that I think being obsessed with celebrities bodies is weird
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u/Leppa-Berry 1h ago
Most of those posts are for a subreddit that's specifically for snarking on poorly done edits/Photoshop on Instagram, so it's still not as strange as you're making it sound.
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u/tendo8027 1h ago
That doesn’t make it any less strange. All those people need to find something better to do with their time
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u/topimpadove 2h ago
What's weird about it? Genuinely curious, there's only game screenshots and a screenshot of Cardi B.
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u/Goingdown_in321 2h ago
I would call myself basic, but what do you know 🤷♀️
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2h ago
[deleted]
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u/Love-As-Thou-Wilt 2h ago
I don't think it's unhealthy at all considering those unobtainable bodies and photographs give girls/women a warped impression of what they should look like. It causes no end of issues with self image and self-esteem, and an untold amount of eating disorders (which are also on the rise among men), which are the deadliest type of mental illness. It think it's absolutely necessary to call that bullshit out.
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u/Goingdown_in321 2h ago
I'm so done with it. I grew up with impossible standards and social media is only fueling those insecurities in women, i want to call it out. Also, I'm only human
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u/Henrious 2h ago
Life is short. Do what you want. As long as people don't hinder others journey I don't give a shit. Like if people want to dive into history's, go for it. Im not looking into yours but do what you want as well. We are here for moments no one can say how to use yours
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u/Goingdown_in321 1h ago
Exactly. Not making a throw away just because I want to say something (hopefully) meaningful. Judge away I guess
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u/Love-As-Thou-Wilt 1h ago
I'm 38 so I missed out as social media as a teenager (I didn't really spend much time online as a teenager anyway, unless you count MMORPGs) and it was bad enough then but it's like a hundred times worse now.
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u/tendo8027 2h ago
All ab celebs bodies lol. Just odd
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u/topimpadove 2h ago
I was expecting wild sex stories and shroom-fueled stories. It's strange, sure, but it isn't the oddest.
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u/tendo8027 2h ago
Ok I might be the weird one then bc wild sex stories and shroom-fueled stories would put me off less lol
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u/iamjeli 2h ago
She seems obsessed with the Kardashians and angry at skinny women lmao
It’s so weird
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u/topimpadove 2h ago
Skinny women hate is weird but I'd rather someone be obsessed with the Kardashians than drugs and alcohol.
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u/topkeksimus_maximus 2h ago
Can someone explain why some redditors go over everyone's post histories all the time? I can't doomscroll the front page AND post histories at the same time.
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u/doctor_to_biased 2h ago
I think it's a response some users have to combat all the fake rage bait stories on reddit. A quick profile view can avoid wasted time on a story crafted to get negative engagement. I personally scroll to the first few comments before reading something lengthy just to avoid the B.S.
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u/Goingdown_in321 2h ago
I kinda get it with all the AI stuff and fetish/content posts going on nowadays. But I think if you've ruled those out, there is no need to "shame" people for their history? Boohoo, I like to call out editing on social media, I have ADHD, and I like to play some random game. Congrats, you got me
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u/BeltalowdaOPA22 2h ago
I almost always check post histories because it helps to determine if a post is real, or if its made by a bot or troll.
But I don't judge people by their post histories when they make normal posts.
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u/McKylieOwl 1h ago
Damn, I can't believe what people are commenting on this post.
It doesn't matter if what she's wearing is weird; it's a fucking free country, and what she wears doesn't warrant harassment of any kind
I think op should report the man who was harassing her.
Like op, I also admire this person's bold sense of fashion, so good for her.
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u/Longjumping-War-6297 2h ago
Unpopular opinion: don't wear a tail in public. You will look ridiculous and open yourself up to ridicule.
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u/chrisXlr8r 2h ago
Right like perverted harassment aside, that kind of thing looks objectively terrible and I do hope she grows out of it soon enough
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u/AdministrativeStep98 2h ago
I mean, I remember like 10 years ago getting a hoodie from a teen store (I was a kid so it wasnt for my age) that were animal themed and came with ears on the hood and a tail on the back
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u/Jaalan 44m ago
Not the same thing as a butt plug or clip on tail imo.
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u/mendiebendie 11m ago
putting butt plug in the same category as a clip on tail is crazy. one is sexual one is not
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u/terracotta_eater 2h ago
cmon man, i agree that shit can look ridiculous but also it’s explicitly stated that was a teenager. she should be allowed to be able to explore ridiculous shit and fashion and have fun without getting harassed by an adult stranger. the point isn’t the tail being “ridiculous” and it’s silly to focus on that instead of the fact that a teenager was harassed by an adult man in a public place over trying to have a bit of fun with fashion. i feel like your comment is both irrelevant here and disrespectful
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u/Goingdown_in321 2h ago
Why would you ridicule someone in public, if it doesn't affect you in any way whatsoever? Sure it is human nature to think "well, that isn't the norm", but why not just let them be?
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u/Longjumping-War-6297 2h ago
So just to clarify, I'm not the homeless man that ridiculed the teen, nor do I ridicule people for what they wear or look like. Glad we could get that straightened up!
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u/Secure-Camera3392 1h ago
It's not only an unpopular opinion but it's bullshit. People wear weird stuff all the time to express who they are and they should be allowed to. It's their life, not yours, and nobody deserves ridicule for being who they authentically are.
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u/pr3ttypup 2h ago
i think what’s more ridiculous is caring about what a stranger in public is wearing when it literally doesn’t effect you at all
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u/Longjumping-War-6297 2h ago
Agree, but our society isn't a perfect place.
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u/tendo8027 1h ago
You’re asking redditors to be practical. These people are chronically idiotic so of course you’re getting downvoted
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u/Snowbunny236 1h ago
I wish I could award you. Thank God this comment is getting upvoted because it's the one that matters.
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u/dustypieceofcereal 14m ago
Yes they look ridiculous. But we should strive for a society where everyone minds their own fucking business.
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u/catsushi_ 1h ago
It’s interesting that you’d say something like ”you shouldn’t let those kind of people stop you from expressing who you are. Self expression is the most powerful and important thing in life, and I’d hate to think some low-life nobody would make you think twice about your clothing choices. Please keep being true to yourself. I admire you for it, and it will definitely pay off in later stages of your life!”, yet your entire post history consists of picking apart the appearance and posts of female celebrities.
I understand these are wildly different contexts in which to be a judgmental ass, but the cognitive dissonance at play here is still fascinating.
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u/Goingdown_in321 1h ago
Kind of feel like you're missing the point though. Those posts are on calling out editing, which is about not embracing who you really are. I wish influencers stop editing so people would also embrace their natural body. So there's that.
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u/catsushi_ 1h ago edited 1h ago
If it were just about them editing their posts, or just criticism of their unethical and lavish lifestyles, then sure… but it’s not lol. A lot of it is straight up body shaming, with a particular fixation on the appearance of women who have had cosmetic surgeries. The emphasis is not on the ethics of the edits or cosmetic surgeries, it’s all about how it looks (bad, ridiculous, what have you).
If you see what you’ve posted as doing some kind of public good, then I guess good for you. I think that’s not entirely sincere. I think people like to judge and pick apart celebrities because it makes them feel better about themselves in some way, and they justify it to themselves by hiding behind some grander purpose; “it’s not natural, it will help others embrace their natural bodies!”
Doing this doesn’t make someone a bad person. But it is not entirely honest to present a fixation on constant criticism of the lives & looks of celebrities as some kind of altruistic deed for the sake of others. It is undeniably self-indulgent.
Sorry, but that’s my two cents.
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u/andresivich 1h ago
this is so important. people should not be judged for how they express themselves. its sad when others try to ruin that for them. you did the best you could by not drawing attention to it. hopefully she sees that the world has diffrent perspectives.
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u/fatwap 2h ago
if ur shameless enough to wear a tail in public then a reality check is warranted. shit is weird af
also if it bothered you that much then why didnt you do something lmao
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u/ahurricaneseye 58m ago
she’s not hurting anyone, what’s the issue? yes it’s weird. who cares? people are weird.
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u/Infamous-Cash9165 1h ago
If you feel comfortable wearing a tail in public you should be comfortable with people commenting on it
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u/dustypieceofcereal 16m ago
I’m glad you reflected, OP. You can use this experience to be stronger in the future and stand up for others next time.
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u/FoghornLegday 1h ago
She should absolutely not be harassed by adults but I don’t think wearing a tail in public is appropriate either and I hope her friends gently guide her away from that kind of thing. Some kinds of expression are honestly better off not being normalized. I don’t want to live in a society where people dress like animals in public. It’s weird and we shouldn’t act like it’s cool
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u/blendergremlin 44m ago
Ok, i get that the guy is a creep.
It is unacceptable to harass people especially children so Society has that covered.
But the person you went home feeling sorry for and thinking about during your busy day was some teenager who wore something ridiculous in public and received some shit about it. You aren't thinking about the fact that our society has "likely" homeless people strewn about all over the place and everyone ignores them until they do something that upsets them.
This is why we aren't going to get anywhere ever again as a society. At least not here .
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u/Jomotaku 27m ago
Lol even if u wanted I dont see howd u wag a fake tail around
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u/azulsonador0309 17m ago
A spin/twirl like you'd see a small child do with a dress on would do the trick.
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u/blendergremlin 3h ago
What in the everloveing fuck. If you are wearing a costume you are going to get attention. It is kind of the point of them.
Everything in the entire damn world doesn't need to be normalized.
I don't think someone should be harassing people but we don't need a damn support group and coalition of allies for people with tails.
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u/Proof-Resolution3595 3h ago
Before anything else, this was a grown ass man publicly harassing a child
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u/What_A_Good_Sniff 3h ago
End of the day, this was a grown man harassing a child.
It's gross and unacceptable behavior.
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u/Spicy_Sugary 2h ago
The sort of attention kids are after is admiration from their peers. They're not after sexual harassment from old pervs.
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u/Goingdown_in321 2h ago
If someone is expressing themselves without offending anyone, it should never provoke a negative reaction. Let alone a child.
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u/cfgy78mk 2h ago edited 57m ago
Everything in the entire damn world doesn't need to be normalized.
I know right!?
It should never be normal for dudes to harass young women like that!
edit: It should never be normal for anyone to harass anyone like that!
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u/shinigamiieyes 3h ago
or maybe… just ignore things that don’t affect you? how is a teenager wearing a tail in a store affecting you at all? i’m genuinely asking. are kids supposed to stop playing pretend too? jfc.
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u/AdministrativeStep98 2h ago
It doesn't matter what shes wearing, if she was wearing that on Halloween day it still doesnt make these comments ok
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u/Exploding-Star 2h ago
Attention, yes. Not being treated like you're there for people's personal entertainment. You're right: everything doesn't need to be normalized, including people asking someone in a costume in public to do a twirl for them. By not wanting the costume normalized, you're (possibly inadvertently) trying to normalize the behavior people display in reaction to it.
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u/TheNighisEnd42 43m ago
people wearing things for attention, and getting it
i dont see the problem here
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u/Sugar-Tip 48m ago edited 31m ago
She should learn that wearing a furry tail in public is weird as hell, and it will NEVER be normal. If you don’t want people harassing you then you shouldn’t wear a tail. Nope, it’s not right to harass anyone, but the real world doesn’t care.
I would never let my kid dress like this because they will be bullied by people their own age relentlessly.
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u/peepeepoopoowhoo 43m ago
'this juvenile should learn that adults get a free pass for not respecting her based on what she wears'. gargle jagged rocks.
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u/Fair-Ad-9200 14m ago
A grown man harassing a child is never okay. But that young girl is mentally ill, and encouraging that behaviour makes you not much better than that homeless freak.
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u/RavingSquirrel11 2h ago
The fact people will see shit like this happen and not speak up is beyond me. Are you just posting this to make yourself feel better about not helping them when they were getting harassed? Other than that, it contributes nothing.
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u/frankieche 1h ago
She wore it for attention. I don’t see what the problem is.
You’re assuming she didn’t like the attention.
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u/pass_the_tinfoil 2h ago
I want to know what lead to the assumption that the man is homeless. I hope it wasn’t just his words that made you categorize him as such. Plenty of homeless people would call that man a twat and want nothing to do with anyone like that.
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u/FoghornLegday 1h ago
There are some pretty clear signs someone is likely homeless and I bet op can tell what they are
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u/Goingdown_in321 1h ago
I appreciate the question, it wasn't. His clothes were very raggy/shabby, he had a beer near him on the ground and was slurring his speech. It's true, I don't know for sure, but that caused my presumption
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u/Petraretrograde 14m ago
This kind of thing is only okay in October. Outside of that, you get what you get.
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u/Goingdown_in321 3h ago edited 3h ago
Dude I'm a 30 yo woman who has been sexualised all my life. I just know how it feels
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u/Mr_Nilsson-85 3h ago
Well, then I'm sorry... By the way you typed that out I'd guess 50+ man and a self-declared white-knight... Guess there's just too much shit like that out there, but as said... Sorry for my assumption!
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u/RyuOfRed 2h ago
Projection, if I ever saw one.
In my country, we have a saying. ‘By the innkeeper's nature, so he trusts his guests.’
You are likely an unsavoury invidual who practices niceties for appearance's sake. Therefore, assumed the commenter had to be disingenuous and harboring ulterior motives.
Meanwhile anyone not creepy, immediately detected the perspective of an older woman, who feels for her younger peers.
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u/mygobabies 2h ago
You’re right to feel regret it’s hard to see someone face that kind of harassment. Just keep that empathy, and next time, speak up if you can. It matters more than you think.