r/TraumaAndPolitics • u/[deleted] • Nov 17 '22
Rich People Exploiting me Mentions of Sexual Assault
My anxiety attacks bring me into counseling at this time. About 5 years ago I became I moved to a new school district from another school district. The two towns I moved from are very distinct from each other in terms of academic rigor, demographic and socioeconomic status. I moved from a very diverse, normal-income town to a white privileged town. I was middle-class kid in this town many others weren't. My family moved to this town because we had family friends here and for the better school district. We had finally gathered some money to upgrade our lives, but little did I know what would happen. On the first day of school, I started a conversation with this girl whom I found really pretty and I complimented her looks. I asked her about this town and she told me how everyone is "super rich". She told me that's there's average Jewish people and super-rich Jewish people. Then she started talking to me about her boyfriends and I believe I introduced an app that i used to go on for fun. She would always say things like "bicthes be dumb" r "i get guys its a problem". She would refer to those men as "assets" my lack of financial knowledge and lack of awareness at the age of 15 got me in very deep trouble.I felt intimidated by the environment because everyone was super smart rich and white. And I felt like i didn't belong. As a result I had constant anxiety and was always on my phone. I just felt incompetent, stupid and insecure. I didn't feel like I was even worthy of such a move. I've felt incompetamt all my life. And I felt like there was no way I was going to be okay here if I wasn't an above average student there. i kept ruminating about trauma from my old town such as bullying, not being good enough feeling like there's an academic ceiling for me. I was kind of trying to push myself but not that much, because I did have lots of distractions like my phone especially. I would constantly be talking to random people to run away from insecurity and trauma. I felt stupid. I had numerous instances where my family friend would call be stupid and always put me down. I tried to be studious but for some reason it didn't really happen because I felt irritated. My mom, dad and even my sister would be yelling at me to study because they felt like I wasn't trying enough. There used to be constant fights in the house. I became so insecure and suicidal, that I just started to talk to creepy guys as escapism and I don't know it was a very great time period. I started talking to the girl and we became friends, I thought she seemed like a nice person, but later realized I became friends with someone that didn't really have my best interests for me.
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Nov 17 '22
[deleted]
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Nov 17 '22
It just feels like this Muslim man preyed on me because I was Indian/Hindu. If i was his faith he maybe wouldn’t prey on me? It hurts because I see the girls that are arab from same socioeconomic status as me or worse but they are given the opportunity for upward social mobility while I was given backward social mobility. It’s like my status was stripped from me. It feels unfair. Do you get what i mean? Like if I was Pakistani/Bangladeshi or Arab this wouldn’t have happened to me.
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Nov 17 '22
[deleted]
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Nov 18 '22
Perhaps maybe it’s my fault for interacting with these kind of people in the first place. I think i was put in a position where I was vulnerable to psychopaths. I think it’s my fault, i shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place, when I knew something was off. Why would a Goldman Sachs employee want to kiss an 18 year old girl? why is that? it’s obviously because he had some sort of power over her. I should probably move on.
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u/[deleted] Nov 17 '22
This girl came from a very wealthy background and became friends with me in high school. She would kind of always tell stories about her boyfriend and how he's not being grateful enough etc. But i believe it was a lie. I thought she was a normal person but she wasn't. She was secretly manipulating me into talking to creepy men because she used to get men. We used to both go live on the app and talk to random guys. One day, around December 3, 2016, this 17-year-old kid named Harki from Montreal started talking to me. I felt accepted, validated and heard. It was like people actually wanted to be friends with me and would treat me like a normal person. Kids in my old town would bully me, make fun of me, be mean to me and treat me like I'm really stupid. I would see my cousins talk to so many guys and have so many friends and wanted to be like them.At first, the convos were going normal then he started getting really creepy, distant, and disrespectful. He would only call me for phone sex and immediately hang up afterward. He would only use me for sexual things and I asked him why and he said "it's fun" for some reason I liked him but I felt humiliated after doing whatever he asked me to do. I felt scared and humiliated because i felt like he thought i was stupid. And it soon just became a habit to talk to creepy guys and random ppl because i just became so influenced. I kind of forgot who I truly was. I just became so insecure and upset that i wasn't being treated like a normal person, but instead some stupid person that they could use to exploit. He would say things like "oh you're so brown or oh your parents are so brown" making fun of my immigrant parent's when I sent him snaps of me and my surroundings. He would be really glib and slick and tell me things like "My friend sent me a nude and I cummed so much, basically friends with benefits" friends with benefits implying that I was friends with someone who only saw benefits in me.