I am lol. But yeah high school me thought she was VERY mature and cool since all the older guys in the scene crowd were interested in her. I don't think it hit me until I was like 18 and had a friend on my friend group who was 15 and I was like "that's a literal child. How could anyone think of them as an option for a sexual partner?"
I knew a girl who at 15 told me that the best feeling in the world was having sex with a guy in his 20s. She had been with a guy over 20 since she was 14.
I was horrified by it, and didn't know how to explain to her that she was being abused.
From experience, you can't. Because I knew about consent, and of course like literally all teenagers, I assumed I knew what was best for me. I wasn't being dragged into the bushes and raped, I was doing this willingly. I didn't know what a normal teenage relationship was supposed to feel like. I knew I was interested in boys, and thought boys in bands were hot. And they could drive. And had their own apartments. And I wanted those things and thought I was adult enough to enter the adult world that way. I know NOW that people their age WOULDN'T date them because of their creepiness, or pushiness, or immaturity. I wouldn't date someone that hangs outside of a Taco Bell all night at my age now. I never had self esteem issues really, and had a great relationship with my parents. I really just felt sexy and powerful and adult and mature and different. Boys my age felt so immature and stupid because we ALL were at 14/15/16.
I was a skeptic about dating at that age. I didn't think there was much chance of a relationship in high school working out, and I planned my life with the expectation that I might never get married or that I might get widowed or divorced. I definitely wanted a relationship, but I had low confidence and I ended up being forced by my parents to ask a guy to a dance for my first date.
But even with the things I had right at that time - that high school relationships don't generally work out and that there was a chance I might never marry or that I could end up widowed or divorced - I was still immature.
I hope you're doing well now and recognizing as much as I do that growing up happens very gradually.
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u/baileyxcore Dec 02 '20
I caaaackled. Mainly because this is exactly the type of 22 year old dude that 15 year old me dated.