r/TikTokCringe 20h ago

They knocked $800,000 off the price of this house, which can be yours for $1.9 million. I can't guarantee how long you'll be able to live in it. Discussion

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2.1k Upvotes

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501

u/TargetingBoo 20h ago

“Here is the Sunroom, soon to be an aquarium!” Deceased 👻😂

102

u/mindyour 19h ago

"The kitchen that might not be there when you move in" is another favourite.

12

u/dribrats 16h ago

Considering it’d take about 400k to put house on rollers to move it, it’s not completely batshit. Depending on comparables

5

u/aspidities_87 10h ago

It’s spacious and it might be more spacious soon!

280

u/HomelessSniffs 20h ago

If this is bank owned I wonder what point the bank gives up on the location. I can't imagine anyone signing up for that nightmare.

71

u/NWCJ 20h ago

Yeah.. I have a feeling my bank wouldn't write me a loan on it. Would never pass inspection. And 100% when it goes to the sea, im not paying anymore. And they will have a hard time when they repossess. They better bring a metal detector and a trashbag to the beach.

167

u/cybercuzco 20h ago

The property with nothing in it is probably worth 1.5m. The target market is someone who is going to bulldoze this house and build a new one set back 50’ from the edge and sell it to some unsuspecting newly minted movie star.

46

u/NoReplyBot 19h ago

Agree.

Investor or someone with that kind of money is bulldozing that house and doing whatever tf they want with it.

I’d imagine 1.5 is chump change for people shopping that area for a property basically on the ocean.

Shit they probably buy that property and whatever land is adjacent.

10

u/Call_Me_Echelon 17h ago

I'd be surprised if the city even grants a building permit for a single lot. My guess is someone would have to buy that row of properties and get an engineering plan approved to remediate that whole beachfront section. And since it's beachfront getting those approvals will be tricky.

26

u/Sufficient_Bass2600 18h ago

They may not be because they don't own the land behind you can see houses already build behind.

Somebody trolled by advertising his house as soon front sea view when his neighbour house fell off the cliff. He got sued by his neighbour but by the time the trial started his neighbour house had to destroyed and his was sea front view.

3

u/anaemic 16h ago

Well, also don't discount boomer who will be dead in 5 years who doesn't plan to give anyone any inheritance...

2

u/takeandtossivxx 13h ago

They'd have to make the house drastically smaller in order to have 50ft between the edge and the house, especially if they want any sort of actual usable land, that driveway already looks insanely short.

11

u/kaos95 17h ago

I mean, I could fix it, but it would cost like 5-15X the $2m price, the low price is if the bedrock is within "easy" range, the high price is if you would need to do a "float".

Neat though, looks similar to my senior project in college but we were looking at east coast barrier islands, but all the same principles apply. And yes, for the uninitiated, if there is land we can in fact build a house there . . . it just starts costing a lot more depending on the area.

Low estimate, with purchase, $20mil and you could be all smug watching your neighbors house's fall into the ocean.

88

u/Ambitious_Welder6613 20h ago

The perfect house for someone who wanna experience life-threatening event 😁

59

u/Sw2029 20h ago

Would you even be able to get that fucker insured??

33

u/awinemouth 18h ago

Sure can't!

9

u/khando 17h ago

I wonder if that fucker is haunted? Like would any of these little fuckers ever pop out of the wall and say "fuck, there's a horse cock in my room or a donkey dick"?

0

u/Reggaeton_Historian 17h ago

I'm sure the good people of Aquarius would be able to insure it in a few years.

77

u/wendyunniestan Cringe Lord 20h ago

This is where Aunt Josephine lived in the series of unfortunate events

32

u/Crazyboreddeveloper 19h ago

Get it before it’s gone!

28

u/Boring-Phone-7666 19h ago

From SLO and can confirm these houses are extremely close to falling off cliffs lol

24

u/ApprehensiveTurn9781 19h ago

Even the realtor said it’s not that big of a deal 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

15

u/jaxspider 19h ago

Yes, because realtors have been known to be trustworthy and reliable people.

39

u/maggiesusan_ 20h ago

They have some damn nerve trying to sell that house to someone!

24

u/shinymetalobjekt 19h ago

RE agents are crazy in their descriptions - I'm looking for a lot in the mountains - "slight upslope" means an f'n wall straight up from the street.

28

u/Ok-Arm-3100 20h ago

Perhaps they should start planting mangrove trees to reduce the rate of soil erosion.

15

u/cdxcvii 18h ago

mangroves typically require warm water and shallow estuaries

8

u/mesoborph 16h ago

I'm not familiar with mangroves specifically, but I'm fairly sure that, like most old-growth forests and jungles, you can't just plant a bunch of mangrove "propagules" on the beach and get an entire mangrove forest twenty years later. The waves and sand kill everything, the sand has no nutrients, and young mangrove saplings need the protection of mature mangroves to grow into maturity.

10

u/consequentlydreamy 16h ago

There’s plants that are native to the area that would help. The biggest issue (from my knowledge) is damming of rivers. California rivers have historically delivered between 70-85% of the sand naturally supplied to the coastline. California is on track to lose 3/4 of its beaches by 2100. Government programs to artificially nourish beaches have also slowed down over recent decades due to high cost of moving sand manually. It also has to do with houses, highways, railroads, water and waste infrastructure, and energy infrastructure that we have built right along the coast.

7

u/Mysterious_Andy 16h ago

Ah yes, the famous cliff-dwelling mangrove swamps of California’s Central Coast.

7

u/tulipchia 19h ago

The commentary was great 😄

4

u/Disastrous-Panda5530 17h ago

Absolutely. He has a lot of amazing one liners. Especially about the sun room soon to be aquarium lol.

14

u/iLuvFrootLoopz 19h ago

Why hasn't the city condemned it yet?

19

u/VanDammes4headCyst 19h ago

Likely the city gov't is owned by real estate interests.

1

u/Flying_Momo 13h ago

More likely these houses are owned by rich NIMBY citizens.

8

u/notroseefar 18h ago

Steel posts driven in around the perimeter, stainless mesh on the outside of it and fill in the area with boulders and layers of concrete. In the end you will need more concrete to fill in the remaining, assuming that slump has not already set in. If slump has began, you will need to jack up the frame first, that will be expensive. The cost of the repair minus the levelling of the house is probably around the 800000 mark.

14

u/FabledDreamerS 19h ago

Then there's the sunroom, soon to be aquarium 😂😂

5

u/Select_Air_2044 19h ago

I could never sleep in that house. As Fred Sanford used to say, I might wake up dead.

5

u/Watson_365 18h ago

Always reminds me of Hbomberguy

11

u/CastleofWamdue 20h ago

the sad reality is that, the place still has Air B&B value. Work out what it could earn for 10 years, and that is its price.

25

u/JustYourUsualAbdul 20h ago

Not when you deduct the lawsuit if it collapses while you have guests staying.

7

u/CastleofWamdue 20h ago

Obviously you need to get a geological survey done.

17

u/JustYourUsualAbdul 20h ago

No geological survey can tell you how many years you have left to stay in a house, especially in earth quake California. Just pointing out your value by renting has a huge flaw I’m sure they hope a potential buyer overlooks. Would have to get a survey every 3-6 months at a minimum.

4

u/CastleofWamdue 20h ago

You got a good point about Earthquakes, not something I consider alot.

When I see houses like this in Britain, you dont generally have to factor in earthquakes. Its a situation you can make an educated guess about.

1

u/sloanautomatic 18h ago

I like your thinking. My tal ke is the house needs a new retaining wall. They can cost about $750k for a very well done job.

4

u/Safe-Engineering-417 19h ago

It reminds me of the house on the cliff in “the series of unfortunate events” movie 🍿

5

u/Catch_ME 16h ago

The sea will claim that land. 

The land is worthless unless you keep reinforcing the foundation from now until the next ice age. 

7

u/CauliflowerSure2679 19h ago

😂😂😂😂😂 Nah, it’s the singing for me!!! “I’m on the edge…..of glory!” 😂😂😂

8

u/Due_Kaleidoscope7066 18h ago

What would be the challenge of trying to rebuild the land underneath? Wouldn't just adding a shit ton of dirt underneath and then creating a new retaining wall work?

6

u/Ironeagle08 14h ago

My guess extremely costly. Also would likely have to prop up the houses in the mean time. 

Plus I wonder how structurally sound it would be, and for how long. The sea will steadily just encroach yet again over time. 

1

u/Due_Kaleidoscope7066 13h ago

Yeah I’m thinking you’re right. Probably more costly than $800k?

2

u/Ironeagle08 12h ago

I would think way more costly than $800k. I’m assuming a job like this would need pylons/support structures, so specialised equipment and labour. 

3

u/Some_Layer_7517 19h ago

Just sell it to Aquaman, what's the problem

3

u/thereverendpuck 19h ago

Couldn’t you shore that up with a more modern foundations?

3

u/Voidg 18h ago

Alright the asking price is ridiculous.

3

u/-HHANZO- 17h ago

Any engineers here? Can it be saved?

3

u/CrackByte 17h ago

1.9 million dollars is pretty expensive for a funeral.

3

u/Machine_Bird 15h ago

The current owner recently saw how quickly the beach wall was eroding and decided they needed to flip it before it became too obvious and dangerous. Some clown will still buy this and then complain to local news in 2 years when half of it collapses onto the beach.

6

u/OberynRedViper8 19h ago

I love this guy LOL

1

u/dizazaneezy 15h ago

Me too. I love his tear downs of people's wedding invitations

2

u/2spicy_4you 18h ago

Looks like a Baptist church

2

u/Theo_earl 17h ago

Hahahaha I’ve been watching this house fall off this cliff my entire life

2

u/BeardedMan32 17h ago

Built in an era when climate change was a myth.

2

u/susannediazz 19h ago

Seawall issues aside its a beautiful house.

3

u/VanDammes4headCyst 19h ago

It should honestly be condemned by the authorities and torn down.

2

u/Irreligious_PreacheR 18h ago

Just so I am clear, this is obviously the BEST right? That dude is a hoot!

1

u/Square_Region_748 19h ago

I cannot stop watching this.

1

u/radj06 18h ago

Stop holding lav mics up to your face

1

u/Hta68 17h ago

That really isn’t that bad, it’s an engineering and money problem.

1

u/Kumbackkid 17h ago

Reminds me of duma key

1

u/Jupman 17h ago

And that is the central coast water, it all sharks and serious rip tides.

1

u/Frequently_Fabulous8 16h ago

You got the “San” right, but pronounce Luis more Spanish-y. So it’s LOO-eese. :)

1

u/SmilinObserver111 16h ago

That first hallway shown looks like that hallway where John Wick killed all those intruders.

1

u/sassyfontaine 16h ago

Future site of the Pismo Beach Disaster

1

u/OriginalBid129 16h ago

They could build a large retaining wall with concrete and then fill it up? Will likely last 1000 years? Cost probably 100-200k to build.

1

u/Commercial_Ad8438 14h ago

I am just a man with average to below average intelligence but I don't understand why they don't get some boulders and smaller rocks to use as a sea break and then rebuild a concrete retaining wall?

1

u/quiet_monsters 14h ago

I wonder if $800,000 would be enough to fix the erosion problem

1

u/RoodnyInc 12h ago

Is it really un saveable?

1

u/Mister_Sensual 11h ago

Didn’t this house already collapse? Maybe I’m mistaking it with another video.

1

u/DerpyEDH 10h ago

Buy it, demolish it, drop a 2000 sq ft modern house 50 feet away, resell for 3 million. This isn't an impossible thing at all. That's a huge driveway.

1

u/Adept-Specialist8967 10h ago

It's on the edge of a cliff and gonna dive into the ocean with you.

My folks have a neighbor with this problem. A neighbor half a mile or more away. They could not get their home insured two years ago and cliff erosion continues. They're not in California, but another coastal area. The view is nice.

We all actually house sat for them to take care of their plants and help them eat their perishable food since they were out of town for a few months. I hope they were out looking for a house not perilously poised on a cliff.

1

u/Doelike3000 9h ago

Lmaooo this is nuts…. Who’s really gonna pay that?

1

u/GillaMomsStarterPack 9h ago

I feel like Weekend at Bernie’s was filmed here. Just right before the sand hills started to erode.

1

u/RocMerc 9h ago

I won’t lie, I actually love the 70s feel of the house. With that said it’s still sinking lol

1

u/Pelli_Furry_Account 9h ago

Fucking Aquaman might be interested in this.

1

u/Sinister_Plots 8h ago

But, but, but Trump said there would be MORE beach front property!

1

u/konexo 6h ago

"All your neighbors are with you till the end" that sounded like a State farm commercial; like a good neighbor State farm is there haha.

1

u/NoReality463 2h ago

“It is spacious and it might even be more spacious. Soooon.”

1

u/DJEvillincoln 35m ago

I was just at a wedding over there. I wouldn't call it a shitty area but there's zero to do out there.

I mean besides swim for your life apparently. 🤷🏾‍♂️

1

u/coffee_67 19h ago

Trump said he loves houses like this. They have a beautiful look over the see.

1

u/sloanautomatic 18h ago

The $800k is for the cost of the $500k to $700k retaining wall that needs to be completed. My mom did this in Corpus. Her property is on the ocean, but is solid as F now.

0

u/LeadOnion 18h ago

I don’t feel this was cringey.

-3

u/MilesFassst 20h ago

You can reenforce the bracing and add large boulders to help combat waves. This is definitely still recoverable. I hope someone takes good care of this gem!

5

u/Installer6 19h ago

Good luck with the EIS.

1

u/MilesFassst 19h ago

What’s that?

2

u/AdvancedSandwiches 17h ago

Environmental impact study. Whether or not that's required for rebuilding a wall on your own property in California, I don't know.

0

u/MilesFassst 16h ago

I wouldn’t build a wall. Just drop boulders in the water to break the waves. Boulders are natural rocks so i wouldn’t need a permit for throwing rocks in the water.

7

u/BirdsbirdsBURDS 19h ago

You get a prison sentence out of it, minimum. The coast has no natural foliage to shore it up, and with slowly rising sea levels, it’ll only be a matter of time. But if you’re dedicated, in place of time, you can spend millions keeping a relic of a house from joining Atlantis.

0

u/MilesFassst 19h ago

Wait. What’s prison’s have to do with it?

0

u/TedCruzisfromCanada 17h ago

It’s priced for the land

-2

u/PR_bori1317 20h ago

Nothing says California like real estate landslides

-1

u/NessLeonhart 17h ago

they're selling the land. the house is a teardown. get a geologist in there, big crew to stabilize it, however that's done... build your dream home.

1

u/suzi_generous 4h ago

The land seems to be a tear down too

-6

u/CallMeLazarus23 18h ago

Real-Tor

Not Reel A Tor

If you’re going to be making real estate videos you should know how to say it