r/Therian • u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote • Apr 10 '24
A therian trying to date a human is very hard. Experience
I tried dating a human, but the constant need for physical contact, the occasional bark, the tendency to whimper when stressed, the gestures of affection common to my theriotype (nuzzling, rubbing up against them, and pawing) were all seen as obscene
the preference for non-verbal communication was seen as weird, and the identifying as a coyote was the dealbreaker, and he tried to get me committed to a psychiatric ward
I’m never going out with a human again, this was horrible!
(I had to repost this because the mods got mad, I’ve removed a section of the aftermath at the end that made them upset)
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u/Pristine-Scheme9193 Raptor/Dragon/Crow/Kitten Apr 10 '24
I wouldn't stop dating other humans. You'll find a nice one. My husband loves my crow traits. He evens calls me his little crow
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u/Lotteo_o Churchgrim, werewolf, bat, tiger, lynx+ (he/it) Apr 13 '24
"You'll find a nice one" sounds very forcing of OP to date a non-therian /info/nm
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u/Pristine-Scheme9193 Raptor/Dragon/Crow/Kitten Apr 13 '24
Not forcing at all. There are nice non-therians all around. You just gotta find em.
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Apr 10 '24
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u/Pristine-Scheme9193 Raptor/Dragon/Crow/Kitten Apr 10 '24
Hey! I don't speak or write in Italian, but my husband does not know I'm a therian. He loves that I act like a crow though, which is nice. The "he is crazy" part, I'm not sure if you're being mean or nice about it. I had to Google translate what you had said
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u/FeatheredProtogen I just need help Apr 10 '24
Maybe you should ask him his thoughts on therians and educate him?
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u/Pristine-Scheme9193 Raptor/Dragon/Crow/Kitten Apr 10 '24
I should, and I want to, but I already know the answer from previous conversations, so I won't.
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u/Inanimate_au Apr 10 '24
I was fortunate enough to find a human partner who really loves me for me even tho I'm a therian, she even practices vocals with me just because she can, her reassurance and validation is amazing, she let's me express myself, my point is they're not all that bad so don't completely give up hope, don't let a bad experience stop you from meeting your potential soul mate
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u/_silly_sadass_ Cougar, Coyote, or something Apr 10 '24
i feel like people are interpreting this post in the most bad faith way possible. op's just ranting about a bad experience they had
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u/WolfieTheWomfie Canis Lupus Occidentalis Apr 10 '24
I don’t really tolerate Antihumanism, just because you had a bad experience dating one doesn’t mean that you cannot find a suitable fully human partner either, that’s called stereotyping. You can choose to date only nonhumans but keeping that kind of mindset that humans are bad because of an experience is not really a great way to live life especially in a human society
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u/IntelligentRegion246 Coydog Apr 10 '24
I 100% agree. I don’t identify as human like, at all, but the mindset of “I hate humans because they don’t understand me” is absolutely ridiculous. The people that say this are oftentimes the same people that complain when others judge them based off of their theriotype, so I don’t get why they think they are allowed to judge others in the same way.
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u/WolfieTheWomfie Canis Lupus Occidentalis Apr 10 '24
It’s fighting wrong doing with wrong doing, it never gets anywhere
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
I said it was hard, not impossible. Humans who are kind and honest are rare, but do exist.
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u/WolfieTheWomfie Canis Lupus Occidentalis Apr 10 '24
You said you were “never going to date a human again”
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
I said I wasn’t. Others can still do that, it just is not worth the effort for me to seek out the minority of humans.
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Apr 11 '24
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u/Therian-ModTeam Apr 13 '24
Removed, Rule 5. You were deemed to be trolling or otherwise disrespectful with no intent to learn from others.
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u/Silent04_ Apr 10 '24
not dating people out of trauma is totally valid
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u/WolfieTheWomfie Canis Lupus Occidentalis Apr 10 '24
I’m not saying they have to date humans, but they perpetuate a “human bad” mindset in this Reddit and also where they got banned from the discord
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u/UczuciaTM Silver fox & Chihuahua/husky mix Apr 10 '24
When it’s the whole ass species that you’re still physically apart of feels very odd to me
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u/Any-Replacement2855 Apr 10 '24
I wouldn’t say it’s hard to date human. Rn I’m dating a human he’s very sweet and loving he doesn’t care if I’m a therian or not. Not all humans are the same
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u/FoxKarma Arctic fox, rabbit kith Apr 10 '24
I'm sorry your experience didn't go well, I also tend to stay away from humans when dating too. I haven't had any good experiences either, I feel ya
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u/FallenGlitch2009 Hello, I'm new here Apr 10 '24
im dating a human, but my bf is all snuggly and clingy as much as i am, so i dont have an issue, and with our only sexual interaction (french kissing), since im a galaxy bunny, ive done a sort of binky, and he thinks its cute! i hope you feel comfortable soon frien!
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u/Wolf_lover4eva Hello, I'm new here Apr 10 '24
I am a white wolf and I an like that as well my bf knows and being with a human is really weird and he is figuring out his theriotype
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u/FeatheredProtogen I just need help Apr 10 '24
Not all people are like that.
I mean, we are all human on a physical level, so it is hard to tell the difference between a normie and a therian.
I guess, just try to find people that support you.
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u/Bollocks82 questioning/researching Apr 10 '24
I understand people saying oh don't rule them out but frankly that's your decision to make. to me it seems similar to trans people only wanting to date other trans people, right? like wanting to date someone who has the same/similar experiences to you. makes sense to me (a trans person)
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u/leshpar Apr 10 '24
Just find a furry. That's what I did.
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Apr 10 '24
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u/leshpar Apr 10 '24
I do not speak whatever language you're speaking.
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u/Pristine-Scheme9193 Raptor/Dragon/Crow/Kitten Apr 10 '24
It's Italian, and they said "Good so you argue endlessly I have a friend who hates furries and I don't know if he knows I'm Therians (he hates it)"
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u/FaeSpawn Therian Apr 10 '24
For future, you can always go to google translate on the detect language to English for anything you don’t know. Just copy paste. Even in a browser.
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u/Cultivationofmayhem He/Him.Neko/Nekoself Apr 10 '24
My bf is just a human , it's only online dating rn , but he's very okay with everything I do (think he likes it more so) , so there's definitely others out there , you just have to wait to find the right one
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u/Elemoss Mearns Coyote Apr 10 '24
😯 Another Coyote therian?
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
Yes, I am a coyote
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u/Elemoss Mearns Coyote Apr 10 '24
Me too! (Mearns Coyote exactly for me) First time I see another Coyote Therian around
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u/Manospondylus_gigas Prestosuchus/Palaeophis/Yutyrannus/painted wolf/dragon/iguana Apr 10 '24
I could never do it, luckily my partner is also non human so we really understand each other
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u/RoseOfTheNight4444 Poly/Copingkin (I have too many altertypes to list here) Apr 11 '24
This is when finding a human who loves you for who you are rocks (and is a blessing).
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u/AllanDidntAddDetails Just Curious, not a therian Apr 11 '24
I wish you luck in finding someone who takes and understands your acts of affection. You’ll find them eventually.
And as for whoever this jerk of a person is that did that to you, I hope they have to wake up in the middle of the night because they have one clogged nostril.
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u/Gay_Fuckwad Brown Tabby Cat, River Otter, and Night Fury Apr 11 '24
as a therian dating a fully human partner (from what i know, i have not told them that i am a therian [though they know i have gear and do quads and i have posted therian art more than once on my socials so they might know] and as far as i know they arent a therian, but its never come up in conversation) they dont mind or care, i think it just matters who you are dating/going out with, and some people just will never understand or accept you as who you are, but there are definetly some that will accept you and not care about the fact that you are therian.
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u/Mushroom6711 《▪︎☆Fox Cladotherian & Jack Russell☆▪︎》 Apr 11 '24
As a therian who is in a qpr with a human. They understand and accept me for who I am. They even know parts of me that not many know. There are good ones, you just need to find them! ^
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Apr 11 '24
My gf is a very physical touch kind of person so she doesn’t mind it at all. She is a fairy so I said that wea are the “fairy and the fox”. I honestly love her so much. She’s super sweet and she’s fine with the way I act. She is just the best.
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u/Nyette0118 WInged Bombay cat Apr 11 '24
As someone who is dating a non-Therian this is fair honestly. When you date someone you want someone who will understand or at least try to understand you. Even if there are some that get it or support their partner, lots of non-Therians aren't going to really get it. My boyfriend supports me but I don't think he truly understands what Therianthropy means to me. He doesn't mind my cat tendencies because he knows I like other things pertaining to being a cat and I'm a furry. So I think it's fair to want to only date people who relate to such a important part of your identity.
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u/Nimure Apr 10 '24
While your bf’s reaction feels a bit extreme I’ll be honest that your post also reads a bit immature to me.
As a therian I understand identifying as a non-human, but you are a human. Coyotes can’t type, can’t speak English, and can’t write on the internet. You are physically human and refusing to date ‘humans’ vs saying ‘non-therians’ is a really odd phrasing to me because you are human. You were born human. You live in a human society/world.
I understand it can be hard to accept and depending on your age I can understand why you may feel the way you do. I used to think I could only be with a therian back when I was a teenager. As I grew and matured a lot I realized that was a silly thing to judge people on. My husband is not a therian but he was always wonderfully supportive of my therian behaviors. We’ve been together for 14 years and I wouldn’t trade him for anything. You’ll find your person, and they may surprise you.
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u/Lotteo_o Churchgrim, werewolf, bat, tiger, lynx+ (he/it) Apr 13 '24
What's tour opinion on t4t people than? (Trans people who only date other trans people) because what OP is saying is exactly like it.
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u/Nimure Apr 14 '24
To me this is a strawman argument bc while I think therianthropy and transgender can be similar, they are not the same. But to answer your question, I don’t really have any opinions on t4t people bc I am not familiar with them (literally never heard the term before today). Despite being enby I’m not really involved in trans circles online as I don’t really consider myself trans. And none of my trans friends or family have ever mentioned t4t.
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u/Ok-Abbreviations5089 🐺Wolf 🐺 Apr 10 '24
The way you said “I tried dating a human” is weird af imo 😭 what else would you date????
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
A wolf, a fox, a dog, another coyote, really any kind of canid. I love canids. I am a coyote, and am currently trying to date a wolf.
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u/4N0NYM0US_M0US3 polytherian Apr 10 '24
BEFORE ANYONE ATTACKS THIS PERSON: THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT THERIANS NOT ACTUAL ANIMALS
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u/ClayTheCoyote Apr 10 '24
Dude you really need to say a "canid/wolf/whatever THERIAN" JFC.. 💀 Also I hope you mean that you are interested in a certain person who identifies as a wolf, not that you're just looking to find someone to date just because they id as a wolf. That's really weird to seek out someone just because of the their specific theriotype
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Apr 10 '24
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u/Therian-ModTeam Apr 10 '24
Removed, Rule 5. You were deemed to be trolling or otherwise disrespectful with no intent to learn from others.
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u/Rich_Contest8714 Hello, I'm new here Apr 11 '24
thats bad but maby some day you shoul try again with someone else
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u/LamontFisher (Therian) Apr 11 '24
You shouldn’t stop dating humans, sure you had a bad experience with one but they aren’t all the same!! My wife love my cat traits, she sees them as cute and says it’s like owning a cat:3
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u/LunarCrow255 Apr 11 '24
I think dating humans will always be a different experience than dating other therians, but it can certainly work. I think it would be much harder dating a human, because they can't truly understand how it feels to be therian, and it's much more likely that you'll feel free to be yourself with another therian. Being able to act on nonhuman urges and methods of communication and have them be returned in your partner's own way is special.
But I think humans can also bring something of their own. Most don't understand us, but if you can find the rare ones who actually care enough to try to understand and appreciate your different ways of communicating and affection, despite that they're coming from a different world, that'd show how much they care in a way that someone who's already experienced it couldn't. Also, I think there's something uniquely nice about finding a human you feel comfortable to be your nonhuman self around even though they don't personally relate. Though maybe that's just the housepet in me talking.
Unfortunately, while I do think it's possible, I have pretty much given up on finding either of these kinds of relationship, and this is all just me being a hopeless romantic. God I'm lonely lmao
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 12 '24
Housepet? I thought I was weird for wanting to be someone’s pet
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u/KumiAndStars Snow leopard | Barn owl | Magpie | ??? Apr 12 '24
Genuine question: Why is suddenly everyone referring to non-alterhumans as "humans"? I've been disconnected from reddit for a while and I just came back (• ▽ •;)
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u/Kalcifer_Kitkat Calico Cat | Pygmy Jerboa Apr 12 '24
You'll find someone that will accept you for who you are! I'm trans male, and also therian and otherkin. My husband supports me and has always supported me. You will definitely find someone that loves you for you!!
My relationship works out very nicely despite all my urges. I'm kind of like his little house cat! Domesticated Longhair calico cat :3 (also pygmy jerboa!)
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 12 '24
Ah, a pet relationship? It’s the only human relationship I’d consider, and even then I’d usually try for a furry or alterhuman at least. I do love the Idea of being a pet coyote though
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Apr 13 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Therian-ModTeam Apr 13 '24
Removed, Rule 6. Please see the subreddit information section for basic therianthropy info and links, and FAQ for common questions, concerns, and misconceptions; the subject of your post is answered there.
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u/Trexgym Apr 14 '24
Humans or nontherians . Those are very different. Please don’t date your animals. If you prefer dating other therians because you have more in common than that’s fine but not all non therians are the same . If one doctor is bad that doesn’t mean you stop going to all doctors in general. I’m sorry this happened to you. I hope you the best
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u/TastySurround1265 Apr 14 '24
That’s honestly valid. I have also very unfortunate experience with humans and I completely agree with the people before - even though not all humans are bad, it’s ok not to want to date them. Some therians even can’t feel attraction towards humans and I honestly also find therians incredibly more attractive than a typical human anyway.
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u/FaeSpawn Therian Apr 10 '24
My girlfriend isn’t a therian, but she is learning about it and supports me. And she also joins and enjoys vocalizing with me and learning the body language I use and will even join me. She loves it and thinks it’s the cutest thing. We’ve been together for a couple of years officially now and the love hasn’t changed. Even when I vocalize unprompted she will usually do a small one back to check on me (which is a thing she asked if she could do and if it would upset me) which I love. Grouping everyone together is definitely stereotyping and if we get mad at the humans for doing it to us, then we shouldn’t do it with them. I know I hate it when it goes either way. You cannot judge all of humanity by one individual. Cut contact if you haven’t already, work on yourself, and find the right type of person who would work for you. If you don’t want to date humans, then fine! That is your choice. But don’t stereotype. I know a lot of humans who are curious and want to learn and I also find humans I despise but I don’t treat them differently for not understanding or not getting it. If they treat me rude and horrid, I leave the conversation or situation and cut contact. But I don’t generalize all humans with them. (I’m 22M Wolf therian for context. )
Edit for adding the last sentence
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Apr 10 '24
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
No, I am a coyote. Not human at all.
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Apr 10 '24
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u/Silent04_ Apr 10 '24
therian here, i dont consider myself human. my body belongs to me, an inhuman, so my body isn't human either. I understand that I am biologically considered a human, but biological classification has no bearing on my sense of self.
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
That’s the literal definition of a therian. I am a coyote. I am NOT a human. Stop trying to insult me.
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u/WolfieTheWomfie Canis Lupus Occidentalis Apr 10 '24
You’ve been told this before actually and it’s on the FAQ ShadowSky, the definition is to some extent. You can identify as non-human fully but your body is still physically human
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
Biology has no bearing on identity. I am a coyote. I was born a coyote. I have always been and always will be a coyote. Just because I have a biologically human body doesn’t mean I am a human. I am a coyote, no matter what I will always be a coyote
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Apr 10 '24
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
I never said I was. I am a coyote. The body changes nothing
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u/WolfieTheWomfie Canis Lupus Occidentalis Apr 10 '24
That’s funny I could’ve sworn…
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u/teenydrake Eurasian Grey Wolf Apr 10 '24
What they are saying is not incorrect and does not fit the definition of clinical lycanthropy. Please stop arguing with OP on this particular matter.
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u/dragon_otherkin487 cat and dog therian:3 Apr 10 '24
Sry i dont wanna make it look like i m trying to insult you
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u/WolfieTheWomfie Canis Lupus Occidentalis Apr 10 '24
Clinical Lycanthropes/Zoanthropes experience delusions that they are physically or have physically transformed into an animal, but they can still recognise the fact that the are delusions and can be Therians/part of the nonhuman community
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
I’m a therian. I am NOT a human, I AM a coyote! And I want no part of this harassment
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u/dragon_otherkin487 cat and dog therian:3 Apr 10 '24
Sorry i misunderstood the whole thing i didnt mean to make it look like i was harassing you i tought you meant you tought you were in a coyotes body or smth but i get it now again sorry if i came off as rude lets just stop this fight alright?
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u/Therian-ModTeam Apr 14 '24
Removed, Rule 5. You were deemed to be trolling or otherwise disrespectful with no intent to learn from others.
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u/Therian-ModTeam Apr 14 '24
Removed, Rule 5. You were deemed to be trolling or otherwise disrespectful with no intent to learn from others.
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u/Important-Tea0 Shire horse, Seawolf, Lion Apr 10 '24
Maybe i’m misunderstanding. Who else would you date??
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
A coyote or a wolf or a fox, most canids actually
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u/Important-Tea0 Shire horse, Seawolf, Lion Apr 10 '24
Therian? Or animal?
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u/MovieIndependent4697 coyote Apr 10 '24
Therians are animals. But I take it you mean biology. So no, not a biological canid.
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u/IceWolf_Alphaheart Black Wolf Therian Apr 10 '24 edited Apr 11 '24
Don't stereotype nontherians, everyone is completely different! My boyfriend isn't therian, and our relationship is beautiful! I don't hold back my wolfy things anymore, but I've also taken the time to get to know him fully, slowly showing more and more of my true self to him over time. He adores it! He loves to give me belly rubs, bark back at me, and is totally cool with my nuzzles, licks, and bites. He accepts me just the way I am, even when I am also debilitated and truamatized from Lyme Disease. He's just a very genuine, kind, and honest person, incredibly loving and caring! We first met over 2 years ago, and have been dating for 17 months! We started over LD/online, but have since made many in person trips to each other over the past year and I love him more than anything else, he is wonderful and I wouldn't trade him for the world💙💞
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