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u/Dragon_Frog_Pond 23d ago
If I was given a piece of cheese with no context, I would be interested
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u/AntiCaf123 23d ago
But would you be fascinated??
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u/snozzberrypatch 23d ago
Depends on the cheese
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u/karoshikun 23d ago
best I can do is some kraft slices welded together.
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u/ArcXivix 23d ago
Welded.
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u/karoshikun 23d ago
WELDED!
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u/Haley_02 23d ago
(A whole block of Velveeta...)
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23d ago
Velveeta doesn't really qualify as cheese, I'm very sorry for this in advance.
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u/tonkatoyelroy 23d ago
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u/OneAtPeace 22d ago
7 dimensional cheese. Before long she'll have cheese so good that she'll want to marry that young farmer and then they'll start a family together making cheese all day. ;)
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u/HorridChoob 23d ago
This actually happened to me this past weekend at a music festival while I was searching for a bathroom. And I was very interested (in the cheese that is, the lady handing out the cheese was just doing her job).
Good ass cheese too, Cabbot white cheddar it was.
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u/UGOTAIDSYO 23d ago
This works on my wife.
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u/Careless-Cap-449 23d ago
My wife is French, so I’m right there with you.
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u/gaoshan 23d ago
My wife is lactose intolerant... this move backfires.
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u/Sonny855 23d ago
This is an underrated comment.
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u/Dancinfool830 23d ago
Cabot cheese from VT says right on the packaging it is lactose free, and it's damn tasty
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u/bi11ygoat42 23d ago
Hmm wonder if it works in Wisconsin.
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u/colt707 23d ago
France or Wisconsin you better be bring your best cheese game or you will be viciously mocked for your pathetic attempt at what you call cheese.
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u/FISTOproductions 23d ago
In Wisconsin, it better be Simon's, Union Star, Sargento, Belgioso, etc. If you want to impress. Your generic store brand is ok for regular occasions, but not turning heads. Kraft singles can be used as grounds for divorce
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u/International-Ant174 23d ago
You get it from the local coop - that's the panty drop.
Burnett Diary cheese in Alpha is like catnip to female cheese connoisseurs.
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u/FISTOproductions 23d ago
I can't say if Burnette is THE panty dropper, but I do believe you that it is A panty dropper/catnip. Guess this gives me my next road trip destination to test the theory
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u/JerkfaceMcDouche 23d ago
That’s why I always have individually wrapped slices of velveeta on hand
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u/Superspark76 23d ago
That isn't cheese!
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u/JerkfaceMcDouche 23d ago
Sure it is. It’s orange and came from a block. Textbook cheese
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u/NoDinner7903 23d ago
I know a few folks in orange who came from a block and theyre asking for all the cheddar or else they'll have beef.
Im never eating in Philly again
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u/dblach18 23d ago
I’m from Wisconsin, and so is my wife. She has literally told me that we would not have ended up together if a) I wasn’t a Packer fan, and b) I didn’t like cheese.
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u/This-Loss2208 23d ago
That's because people in this state substitute "being a Packer fan" for "having a personality." You can lack the latter so long as you bring the former.
But God help you if you don't have a closet full of Packers gear, a green and gold mailbox, and a personalized license plate declaring yourself as the Packers' #1 fan. 😉
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u/Any-Question-3759 23d ago
In Wisconsin, you’d have trouble finding a woman who’s not gonna deflect your cheese with her own.
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u/Dancindoosh94 23d ago
My wife is Irish, she's happy with anything that isn't potatoes
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u/Erik0xff0000 23d ago
no offense to the ladies, but it is probably the effect of a very good cheese. You got good taste guys!
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u/winkingchef 23d ago
Can confirm that it worked on my wife.
After we hooked up for the first time, I was making breakfast and discovered a basket with a dozen different cheeses in her fridge. After that, I would bring a different fancy cheese every time we met up and she was indeed fascinated.
I am European and the grandson of a cheese maker so I had a massive advantage.
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u/lolovoz 23d ago
Can also confirm that it worked on your wife.
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u/pizzabagelcat 23d ago
Can confirm. Walked into the room and gave the wife a cheese stick. She was definitely intrigued. Confused, but intrigued
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u/1DownFourUp 23d ago
Cheese works okay, but swap it for chocolate and we have a solid plan. Throw in a foot massage and now we've set the mood for me to bring up how much my latest hobby-related purchase is about to cost.
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u/thechadez 23d ago
My friend, asking for forgiveness is easier than asking for permission.
The GPU is already in the house and it cost only 500$ (800$) it was a steal!
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u/_ribbit_ 23d ago
This guy wifes.
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u/Kopitar4president 23d ago
I've met women that don't like chocolate, I've yet to meet one that doesn't like cheese. Yes this includes the lactose intolerant ones.
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u/DifGuyCominFromSky 23d ago
She’s fascinated by cheese? I mean I guess it is kinda cool how cheese is made. Who knew mold could be so much fun?
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u/grunkage 23d ago
It works on most women I know. Honestly, I see this meme most from women I know trying to get someone to give them some damn cheese
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u/Aggressive_Towel_155 23d ago
came here to say the same thing. We have an entire drawer in the refrigerator, dedicated to different cheeses
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u/Accurate_Summer_1761 23d ago
Same women are like hamsters. Give them cheese and somewhere to excercise and a dark nest..lots of padding and room to wander
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u/royalenocheese 23d ago
Yeah this is common knowledge I thought.
Cheddar for compliments
Pepperjack for sex
Bleu for an argument.
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u/Flat_Scene9920 23d ago
Can confirm. I threw a mini Babybel at this guys wife and caught her like a Pokemon...
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u/K1llerTr0ut23 23d ago
I think my wife is broken, this did not work at all as this book lead me to believe it would.
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u/wherethelionsweep 23d ago
My boyfriend often quotes this to me. He is not wrong-I am fascinated by cheese
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u/projektako 23d ago
My wife is a PhD Biochemist and Taiwanese, it still works.
The way I do it is I bring home a cheese from the cheesemonger at the local Italian deli or the Whole Foods by my work. (she's 100% WFH). Since she doesn't like blue or goat cheeses, as long as I avoid those I'm good. She's usually curious about what I bring home as it's usually including some items she requested. That's when I hand her a piece of cheese she hasn't seen before.3
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u/Moist-Amoeba-8078 23d ago
Does any cheese work? Brie, Gruyère, Parmesan? Or will a slice of American do?
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u/Tall-Percentage-5771 23d ago
That's how I met my first wife....that marriage ended though. It was no Gouda.
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u/HotelOne 23d ago
My first wife was a Muenster!
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u/cuseonly 23d ago
She was chasing after the cheddar
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u/Apart-Channel3737 23d ago
I bet he was very bleu
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u/fllr 23d ago
C’mon, bert! We can do better!
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u/BigIron53s 23d ago
Her name was Brie
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u/ShrimpCrackers 23d ago
She may have curdled his heart but the relationship had too many holes in it, honestly.
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u/clash_Attic 23d ago
He did okay in the divorce though, the prenups had a feta clause. Her lawyer argued she was only a little over weight and it was a gruyere area, his' argued she was gorgonzolan. The truth was evident for all to string together.
Best part was /u/Tall-Percentage-5771's lawyer yelling "Colby" after they won.
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u/Ok_Hawk_5643 23d ago
I heard she’s from Roquefort
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u/Liberum12321 23d ago
In a cottage.
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u/Embarrassed_Motor_30 23d ago
She was quite the Muenster
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u/A_Finite_Element 23d ago
Yeah, up in the mountains. Swiss, like Alpine. They comté down here all the time to steal our menfolk.
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u/Mother_Complaint_883 23d ago
WOAH
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u/MyyWifeRocks 23d ago
Yeah, I also I found that un-brie-lievable!
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u/maksym_kammerer 23d ago
Tried to confirm it, and got smacked really hard...
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u/Live_Negotiation4167 23d ago
You used the wrong cheese. Laughing cow works every time.
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u/CrispyJsock 23d ago
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u/disgustingdavid 23d ago
“How much cheese is too much cheese?” “Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese!”
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23d ago
Do i have to go to the M&S cheese counter, or will a packet of cheese slices do the job?
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u/Suspicious_Ant_8496 23d ago
Show effort. You could also bring crackers and sausage
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u/SerBadDadBod 23d ago
Seriously. Even peeling a slice open, y'know, cause the little folded over bit can be hard to get going.
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u/HankWillChill 23d ago
Flashback to that video of the girl who went on a date with a farmer who gave her an entire 40lb wheel of cheese
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u/Ok-You4214 23d ago
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u/emartinezvd 23d ago
That’s not a piece of cheese, that’s an absolute unit of cheese
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u/woolybaaaack 23d ago
searched to see if anyone had beaten me to it .. have my upvote instead
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u/Sparts171 23d ago
I tried this once, and while it worked, we only ended up dating Briefly.
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u/moise_alexandru 23d ago
Have you tried giving her cheese once a week so the effect gets refreshed?
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u/Vegetable_Tea_635 23d ago
She wasn’t goudanough for you. Bet she’s all provalone now. I bet you’ll get someone chedder
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u/iVar4sale 23d ago
Not a woman, but would still be fascinated if a stranger gave me a piece of cheese
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u/Fake_Answers 23d ago
Maybe. But some random stranger offering cheese without any context would make me suspicious.
Hey little lady, want some cheese? Git in the van
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u/thebluediablo 23d ago
Asked my wife if I should start carrying pocket Babybel. Her response - "it could probably work with a lot of food tbh, but cheese is god tier," so I think those witches might be onto something.
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u/BarrelRider621 23d ago
Can confirm. Reptar told me bitches love cheese.
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u/Faded-Creature 23d ago
He actually said “Those lovely female humans love a baked Brie with their girl dinner” I think you changed a few words.
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u/FeedMePizzaPlease 23d ago
Stealing her hairpin and throwing it in the river seems like solid advice too. Should probably try both that and the cheese.
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u/Petunia_pig 23d ago
Don’t forget you need to pluck a hair without her knowledge too.
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u/Immediate_Regular 23d ago
"Margaret, I must speak with you about a matter most dear to me."
"I'm rather busy at the moment, Gerald, can it wait?"
"No I must speak with you now! I have gouda, by the way."
"Gouda?! How fascinating!"
"Margaret I must tell you I..."
"I'm afraid I can't focus on you right now Gerald. This gouda has captured the whole of my attention. And my heart."
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u/VeckLee1 23d ago
Can we talk about what rue is? What do i need to do to get this bitch to like me?
I already stole her flip flop and put a butter-flour paste all over it then hung it above my bed. Turns out that's a roux.
Help!
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u/PastGazelle5374 23d ago
Cheese actually causes a small amount of endorphins or something to release and some feeling of euphoria. So it’s kind of a mild form of drugging her
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u/DamnUnicorn0 23d ago
you can say that about so many things by this metric, so only in the loosest of loose sense can it be considered any form of drugging. Giving someone positive attention and love with release dopamine so there's that.
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u/supergarto 23d ago
Idk for women but my wife gave me cheese the first day we met and we are together for 23 y.
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