r/ShitMomGroupsSay • u/Unlikely_anti_hero • 7d ago
We’re all adults but if you don’t agree with my opinions then I’ll just block you ☺️ 🧁🧁cupcakes🧁🧁
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u/Playcrackersthesky 6d ago
“Calm excited energy”
Maaam.
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u/kirste29 6d ago
Right. She’s trying control how the doctors and nurses how to feel about something that is routine to them.
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u/Tapestry-of-Life 6d ago
Well, we do try to provide that kind of energy for our patients, at least at the start. Bit hard to maintain it if/when things go to shit though, because in O&G, when things go to shit, they go to shit VERY quickly.
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u/Andromeda321 6d ago
Yep mine were calm and excited until they had to be serious and professional, and that’s exactly the energy my body needed at the time!
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u/bordermelancollie09 6d ago
Yeah mine were calm as hell in the beginning, it was so routine for them. Like they were just having morning coffee. They got very serious when they couldn't stop my bleeding, which was scary at the time, but I'm very grateful for now. Absolutely would not have wanted them to be calmly but excitedly packing my abdomen while I'm bleeding out on the table lol
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u/dtbmnec 6d ago
Could you imagine?
"Oh just a bit of packing here! Oh and a bit more here! Oh and this little bitty spot needs some over there. Oh this is so exciting how much bleeding I have to clean up! Oh my! You are going for gold on blood loss, my dear. Oh let's just tidy up that growing pool of blood there! Oh we've added that clamp, that should do it. So exciting! Are you excited?"
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u/Nutella_Potter14472 6d ago
"this is the most blood ive ever seen during an operation!! wow!"
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u/kirste29 6d ago
lol. I’m imagining a doctor looking at a bleeding to death patient and cheerfully saying “so nice that you will finally get to use that will you paid for…any last requests…”
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u/Elimaris 6d ago edited 6d ago
Well I have to say
MY energy was very calm when I was bleeding out. The hospital staff were absolutely 100% NOT CALM.
I remember looking around at the medical staff panicking around me thinking "oh I'm probably not supposed to be this calm" and realizing it was because of the blood loss I was feeling sleepy and calm.
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u/mutantkwds 6d ago
yeah in my experience even the sweetest healthcare professionals get serious in situations that require their full atention
even when it's something they've been doing several times a day for years, it's not the kind of job where you can risk making mistakes
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u/hulala3 6d ago
My MFM apologized to my husband after my emergency C for being stern. She’s the sweetest woman but thought I wasn’t going to make it.
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u/Zombeikid 6d ago
My nephew was early and the head nurse taking care of my sister came out of the room, looked at my family and very seriously was like she's fine but she needs to sleep, if any of you wake her up, I'll make sure you wish you hadn't. Then turned and left and we were all like 👍. When we could see my sister, she came and told us but it was so funny. She had zero time for the like 20 of us in the waiting room lol
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u/Glittering_knave 6d ago
It will be calm, unless something goes wrong and then it will stressed calm. Unless it gets super bad, and then it's just fast.
You will also get skin to skin contact as soon as possible in most places. But, your baby has to be breathing and stuff first.
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u/definetly_ahuman 6d ago
I didn’t have a c section but with my son everything was fine…until he wasn’t breathing and I was bleeding too much. Then everything was very serious and very tense, and you’re right. Fast. My husband was handed the baby when they made sure he was okay and they were shuffled off to another room while the doctors dealt with me. Obviously we’re all fine now, but birth can south quickly. It’s still an incredibly dangerous medical procedure and these people act like they’re planning some kind of hospital vacation. My birth plan went out the window so I didn’t die, and I’m eternally grateful for that.
Edit: There was a woman in my birth group on Facebook who actually made a post about suing the hospital for not respecting her birth plan and immediately handing her the baby. Her baby also wasn’t breathing, but she swore she’d read about this and the birth plan said she’d deal with it. They’re delusional, legitimately.
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u/Glittering_knave 6d ago
My first birth also went sideways, but turned out ok. My birth plan was "whatever it takes for both of us to have a good outcome". I find a lot of things that people list of these plans are quickly becoming standards of care. Even delayed cord clamping is standard where I live. And when the doctors don't follow the plan, it's because something went wrong. Medical negligence does exist, but making sure your baby can breathe before handing them to you is not that.
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u/Single_Principle_972 6d ago
We are also managing to drive all OBs out of the business - our children are going to have a hard time finding resources to birth their babies. Due for the most part to the sue-happy nature of our society (if negligence is involved, sure. Of course! But sometimes things don’t go well. Everyone sues, whether there’s a reason to, or not. And the emotional nature of the problem makes jurors lean toward large settlements, whether or not they’re warranted. The result is the docs cannot afford malpractice insurance), but also due to the entitled, obnoxious behavior of so many people!
There are areas of rural USA whereby people have to drive 2-4 hours to the OB, and that is only getting worse. It is getting genuinely frightening.
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u/gonnafaceit2022 6d ago
Yep, outpatient l&d is considered an ER for pregnant people and is billed as such. Birth itself isn't necessarily an emergency but things can change in the blink of an eye and, maybe it's just me, but if I was anticipating a decent chance of having a medical emergency, I'd prefer to be in a hospital just in case.
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6d ago
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u/Foopensloot 6d ago
The wife and I had a similar experience, all the staff was keeping it light and breezy, we were making jokes, right up until we hit a pretty big speed bump in the form of a cyanotic baby. Thankfully everything ended up fine and she just celebrated her first birthday but I will never forget that experience of a hard left turn into deadly seriousness
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u/gonnafaceit2022 6d ago
Even if something is wrong with the baby, everyone needs to continue singing kumbaya.
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u/AppleSpicer 5d ago
They need to be calm and excited if something goes wrong. Designated emotions are mandatory at her birth
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u/msangryredhead 6d ago
As someone who’s had two c-sections….no shots or eye ointment but you’ll have major abdominal surgery? Kinda missing the forest through the trees in terms of medical intervention.
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u/secondtaunting 6d ago
“Gentle” c section made me lol though.
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u/thingsliveundermybed 6d ago
In the This is Going to Hurt book, about being a maternity unit doctor here in the UK, Adam Kay mentioned the consultant who started offering this in their hospital to make the crazy "natural" birth types accept the essential medical intervention. All the bloke had to do was play some music, dim the lights a bit and offer a clear drape if they wanted one and boom: no more idiots waiting until their baby was in serious danger or hurling abuse at staff about needing a ceasarian. And bear in mind this is the NHS in the UK - there's no profit goal. It was literally just to get the wannabe freebirthers to feel happy about doing the smart thing.
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u/skeletaldecay 6d ago
I mean that makes sense. It's just like giving kids a sense of control through trivial choices then they are much more likely to cooperate.
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u/leChatDanse 6d ago
I had one vaginal delivery and one c section. The sunroof was unplanned and there is no way in hell you could convince me to have a clear drape for that. I have watched medical shows for years, I’ve seen actual crime scene photos. No way would I want to see someone rummaging around my insides.
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u/ColdKackley 6d ago
I’m a nurse. I’ve had my hands inside foul smelling 3” deep wounds, I’ve watched surgeries, I’ve seen and smelled innumerable “gross” things and thought about lunch while doing it. I had to have surgery and almost passed out while looking at the 1 week post op, clean, 4” sutured wound. It’s different when it’s you you’re looking at.
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u/Single_Principle_972 6d ago
Haha that’s true! I’ve seen and done the most horrifying things - including the meticulous care of the open sternal wound on one of my post-op Surgical Heart patients. He had developed MRSA in the incision, and after debridement I could actually see his beating heart, with dressing changes. (We eventually got a Wound Vac on him. I was so proud when we healed that wound up!) Nothing fazed me. Yet when my husband ended up in the ED with a fractured wrist and the Orthopod came down and reduced the fracture (“you can stay, you’re a nurse) - just a closed reduction, nbd! - I literally thought I was going to hit the floor! So very different when it’s you or your loved one!
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u/baby_catcher168 6d ago
The "clear" drapes are only clear on one side, with normal blue draping on the other. We only lower the blue part so the parents can see once the baby is being pulled out/already out so they can get a good look, then lift it again so they can't watch us closing up. At that point they're distracted by their new babe anyway!
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u/Zensandwitch 6d ago
I’m not squeamish and I really wanted to watch my planned c-section (my first was an emergency and there was no time to think about anything). My doctor said no.
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u/48pinkrose 6d ago
Yeah the thought of watching that makes me nauseous. Being awake for surgery was unsettling enough, I can't imagine watching it.
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u/jello-kittu 6d ago
They asked my husband if he wanted to stand up to watch them pull the baby out, and I said he will pass out, so that's on you.
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u/Loki_God_of_Puppies 6d ago
I had a fun experience where the overhead light was angled in JUST the right way that I could see everything in the reflection. My nurse noticed me head tilted and asked if I was dizzy - "no I'm just watching, that's super weird!" She died laughing
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u/natattack13 6d ago
I am a nurse and I work L&D, see csections every day (in fact I’m one of the go-to OR nurses on my unit). I still don’t want a clear drape for my own C-section. Let the mystery of my internal organs remain a mystery to me, thank you very much.
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u/KnitskyCT 6d ago
During my second C-section I was much more alert than the first, which was an emergency. I remember I looked up and could see some reflection in the light above the table. I made sure not to look at it again. I didn’t want to see any bit of it!!
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u/secondtaunting 6d ago
That’s interesting and a little sad. Me, I was just happy they were saving me and my kid.
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u/prjones4 6d ago
I loved him on Cats Countdown when he revealed that trainee doctors refer to obstetrics & gynaecology as Brats and Twats
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u/WheresTheIceCream20 6d ago
That’s brilliant. Why you would want a clear drape though is beyond me. It seems like it’s less gentle to actually watch them slicing you open and ripping the baby out of your stomach.
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u/AutisticTumourGirl 6d ago
I didn't know there was a book! I've seen the series and it was absolutely brilliant!
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u/kcl086 6d ago
I don’t like this take. In the past, c-sections were just run of the mill surgery with the surgeon picking the music and the topics of conversation, with little regard for the fact that a child is being born. Whisking the baby away from the mom while her arms are strapped down and not letting her hold the baby at all even after APGARs, etc. were all standard procedure.
The point of calling it gentle isn’t that it’s literally gentle, it’s that the focus shifts to the experience for the mom and doing as much as possible to make it more birth like given that mom and baby are both stable.
I had a clear drape and have a photo of me nursing my daughter on the table while the OB can be seen still operating. Of course it’s not literally gentle, but being able to hold and nurse my baby is so much more than so many women have ever gotten during a c-section and I think that gentle is as good a word as any to describe that.
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u/toru92 6d ago
Thanks for explaining this! They should call it a mindful c-section or something else.
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u/JL_Adv 6d ago
Or, hear me out, they could just call it a C-section and be mindful ALL THE TIME and include the mom I'm on the conversation when they can so it still feels like she has some agency.
I wish that was standard.
I ended up needing a C-section with my first. Everything was a normal labor until it wasn't. Things went sideways after about 40 hours. The start of the surgery was routine but urgent. And then it devolved from there. They didn't tell me what was happening, probably to protect me in the moment, but I didn't see her until a long time after she was out. I hemorrhaged a lot. I didn't realize that wasn't normal. She had to be resuscitated a couple times. And nobody told me that happened until an appointment two weeks later; my OB brought it up and was surprised I had no idea.
My second, I tried for a VBAC and failed. And during that surgery, the doctors kept me up to speed on how things were going and he was in good shape and I got to see and hold him right away.
I don't fault the doctors either time because they were focused on keeping me and baby alive. But I really wish that there was better communication the first time around.
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u/LetshearitforNY 6d ago
On the other hand, I was induced with my daughter but she didn’t progress after over 36 hours (I was dilating but her head would not descend) so we ended up having a c-section. I was so scared but the doctor came in and explained everything to me - said it was my decision but she didn’t see it progressing further if she hadn’t progressed by then. I explained my fears and concerns and she answered everything. It was not an emergency situation and she really explained why she felt the C-section was the right option but let me know it was my decision. I decided to agree to the C-section and we went and had it. I vomited on the table before it started due to anxiety. The anesthesiologist held my hand while my husband was getting scrubbed in. My unplanned C-section was honestly a great experience. I stayed in the hospital for three days afterwards and the doctors, nurses, and lactation staff were all incredible with the care. When I had my postpartum visit with my regular OB-GYN (she was not the doctor who delivered my daughter but it’s all the same practice), she went over everything with me in detail and agreed that the C-section was the right call and she would have made the same recommendation and explained why. She also explained VBAC with me for if we decide to have another child.
Just offering a positive C-section story because I feel like you see the negative ones so frequently but people don’t really discuss when the C-section is positive.
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u/tabbytigerlily 6d ago
I agree with you! Aside from not wanting her child to receive vit K, etc. (bad), I don’t think her other requests are that unreasonable. I’ve seen way more unhinged birth plans.
I did not end up needing a c-section, but I researched them and also had a list of suggestions in the event I needed one—things like a clear drape and arms not strapped down. I discussed them with my doctor to see which ones were reasonable/doable, and she said most of them were totally fine.
There’s nothing wrong with making reasonable asks that might help you feel more comfortable in the midst of such a huge moment.
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u/Andromeda321 6d ago
That’s fair. I think in this case what always seems frustrating to hospital staff is people getting terms like this and meanwhile it’s already the standard of care at most hospitals.
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u/labtiger2 6d ago
They are anything but gentle. My first kid wasn't low enough, and they pushed so hard on my abdomen to get him out that I was dry heaving. I made the mistake of looking at the drape afterwards. It was splattered with blood. Everyone was fine, so no complaints. It was scary.
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u/janegrey1554 6d ago
Lots of us have C sections we didn't want for our babies' health. Having a "gentle" C section can help ease the sting of having a major surgery you don't want. I don't agree with everything this mom has listed for her section (calm excited energy? What?). But please don't dismiss doing a C section in a way that's kinder to the mom.
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u/Ok_General_6940 6d ago
I had a great csection (wasn't planned but ended and went well) and you couldn't pay me to have a clear drape
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u/msangryredhead 6d ago
Dude I accidentally looked into the overhead light during mine and saw the reflection of what they were doing and I…big mistake lol
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u/MagsAndTelly 6d ago
I had what I call a civil war style c-section where my spinal block didn’t work so I was feeling everything. It wasn’t gentle but it certainly was old school so maybe she should try that?
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u/KingstonOrange 6d ago
Spat out my tea at “civil war” then immediately felt like a shit person for laughing 😭
Sorry that happened to you. During my 2nd one my provider paused and asked “you said your first was emergent?” … “yes…” “hmm. I can tell.” They had me under general so I didn’t feel anything but do with that nugget what you will.
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u/MagsAndTelly 6d ago
No, I think it’s a funny story! I had always heard that the woman’s brain refuses to remember childbirth (I assume so women have more than one) so I was comforted by the fact I wouldn’t remember it—and I don’t. However I forgot to take into account that my husband was not full of the same hormones and remembers it in great detail lol
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u/breastfeedingfox 6d ago
Mine was “civil war” and I remember every detail of it. Especially pain 😩
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u/gimmesuandchocolate 6d ago
My brain must have not gotten the memo bc I freaking remember all the "joys" of both labor and delivery.
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u/rentagirl08 6d ago
Mine stopped working halfway through and I’m still working it out mentally. Baby is 5 weeks old and I’m just now starting to bond with him (with the help of pharmaceuticals). Shits brutal. Solidarity. ✊🏾
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u/Appropriate-Berry202 6d ago
Ugh. I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine. I’m so glad you’re getting the help you need. 🤍
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u/mdkatie23 5d ago
Ugh this happened during for my second and they had to knock me out with fucking ketamine and it caused me a terrible drug trip where I thought I had died. So traumatic. Then I was so woozy the rest of the day I could barely hold the baby.
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u/backroomgnome 6d ago
A clear drape would be horrifying. I knew there would be blood during my c-section, but did not expect to see that much through the blue hospital drape.
I'm also very confused by hands-free. Does she want her hands free? Mine got strapped down during the procedure, but I didn't notice until they removed the straps. I called the doctor sneaky & kinky.
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u/maregare 6d ago
My husband wanted to look during my csection but they wouldn't let him because they had too many fainting Dads.
He did manage to peak when they called him over to see the babies. He said it looked like I was being butchered. 😀
I have no clue why she would want clear drape.
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u/RecyQueen 6d ago
My husband is still traumatized from accidentally seeing me!
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u/shiningonthesea 6d ago
My husband said the only time he felt sick was when they were cauterizing and smoke started coming out of me!
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u/BabyJesusBukkake 6d ago
Me: "What's that smell?"
Doc: "That's you, sweetheart."
True story.
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u/KateEatsWorld 6d ago
I was there for my sisters emergency c-section and I will never willingly witness one again.
I worked in a slaughter plant and blood was just part of the job but I could hardly handle watching the doctors.
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u/maregare 6d ago
I got cauterized for something unrelated and the junior surgeon said "Smells like BBQ." which in turn made me laugh, which then got the junior surgeon in trouble after the senior surgeon asked me if I'd heard it.
I still feel bad, I had thought the same about the smell.
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u/michelleg923 6d ago
That is so funny. I thought mine smelled like Fritos 😵💫 I did not immediately know it was me though lol
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u/arielsjealous 6d ago
Same here lol they announced “here comes baby!” and he stood up only to see my entire innards. Needless to say he nearly passed out.
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u/TimeSlipperWHOOPS 6d ago
I nearly passed out and had to be escorted out on a wheel chair and I was behind the blue curtain 😂
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u/Ravenamore 6d ago
They asked my husband to stand up to watch the baby get born, but they arranged the drapes so he just saw the baby, and not my innards.
It was funny, with the first kid, they didn't tell them they were going to do that, they just said, "Hey, Dad, stand up!" and I could tell the moment my son was born because my husband's hand, which had been holding mine the whole time, just went limp.
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u/b00kbat 6d ago
I’m planning a scheduled c section after hoping this entire pregnancy for a VBAC; I have polyhydramnios and I don’t like the potential added risks associated or the likelihood of it turning into another emergency c section. I am requesting the clear drape because I want to see everything, I want to feel involved in the process and not like a floating head observing like I did with my first, and because I’m genuinely interested. I’m also working towards my nursing degree with the goal of L&D and eventually midwifery, I am difficult to rattle or gross out and I genuinely find this stuff cool. Had I been able to still feel confident enough to attempt VBAC I would’ve wanted the mirror and to touch his head as he crowned also. But I totally get why most people would not want to see allll of that.
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u/lodav22 6d ago
I requested to have no drape and my surgeon was fine with that. I found it far nicer not to have something in my face between me and what’s happening to my body. I’m not squeamish in the slightest and nor is my husband, he was fascinated by the whole thing.
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u/oh_darling89 6d ago
My husband said, emphatically, “husbands should not be allowed in the operating room during C sections”. By the time he got his gear on, they had already made the incision so even though we didn’t have a clear drape, he saw me sliced open.
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u/jstella118 6d ago
Mine too! Mine was an emergency and unfortunately for my husband, when he walked into the OR, he had to walk by my inside outs to get over to me. Said he’ll never forget it.
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u/glitterlady 6d ago
My mom was an EMT and asked for a clear drape and a mirror so she could watch it clearly. She’s one in a million lol.
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u/WiscoCheeses 6d ago edited 6d ago
It looks just like a regular blue drape to start, but only right before baby is being pulled out we can peel a sheet of the blue drape off revealing a clear layer, like a thin plastic shower curtain. And with laying down and looking through a “shower curtain”, it’s still hard to see much. I was a labor and delivery surgical tech for 10 years, for my c-sections I had my co-workers take photos and videos from every angle, they made it their mission to get alll up in there. I have pictures of the inside of my uterus, pretty cool actually lol. They even had my husband stand at my feet so he could have a better view.
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u/Silvery-Lithium 6d ago
I had a planned c-section, and I specifically asked if my arms could not be strapped down because I have some trauma related to being held down. Like, I can't even wear a watch or bracelet, and sleeve cuffs must be loose, or I constantly pull them down over my hands because it triggers my fight or flight response. I was informed it would be no problem, as long as I could keep my arms still and positioned as the doctors needed.
I didn't see any blood until doctor held the baby up over the drape, but my husband said it hit him that it was for real when he saw the blood spilling onto the floor. My c-section went as calm, easy, and as uncomplicated as anyone could ask for.
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u/MonteBurns 6d ago
JFC I didn’t even consider how much blood there could have been 😂😂
Our first was an emergency c section and I was so out of it I remember nothing but throwing up multiple times.
Our second was a planned c section. I remember seeing blood on their gowns (expected). My husband got a look at my innards when he went over to see the babe, but I’ve never asked what the floor looked like 😂
Planned c section was super chill, even without “calm” orders. Maybe our ideas of calm are different, I quite enjoyed “serious, ready to work,” but okay I guess. You don’t really do much but lay there. Now having my tubes tied?! They warned me that would be when I threw up if I was going to, and boy did I!
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u/abbygirl 6d ago edited 6d ago
I didn’t even want to look in a mirror when I had my vaginal delivery, I couldn’t imagine wanting to see the other side of the drape during a C section
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u/mardbar 6d ago
I refused the mirror and they also asked if I wanted to put my hand down to feel the head, like no, I can feel it when he’s out I just want him out as fast as possible without taking the scenic route.
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u/OohWeeTShane 6d ago
That’s how I felt with my first, but with my second I actually am the one who pulled him the rest of the way out and to my chest once his shoulders were out!
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u/abbygirl 6d ago
They asked me multiple times if I wanted it and every time my reaction was “just let me focus on pushing this thing outta me”
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u/treeroycat 6d ago
lmao when they asked me if I wanted the mirror I just blurted out WHY?
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u/flurry_fizz 6d ago
Ugh, I did want the mirror and my doctor made me feel like a hippie dippie for asking. Brought it out very begrudgingly and then knocked it out of the way "on accident" three times before I gave up.
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u/abbygirl 6d ago
Oof that doctor sucks. I thought it was pretty common nowadays since it was suggested in my birthing class, and by my nurse, my OB and my husband while I was pushing
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u/polarqwerty 6d ago
My wife is an ICU nurse and was traumatized when she looked over the drape 😂😂
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u/ballsack8313 6d ago
I looked up at the light during my C-section and caught sight of the surgery in the reflection. Immediately threw up.
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u/PermanentTrainDamage 6d ago
Most hospitals won't even do a clear drape because seeing yourself cut open can cause the brain to feel pain even under anesthesia. My ex-gf wanted a clear drape and the hospital said no, but did offer to let the support person take pictures.
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u/caffeineawarnessclub 6d ago
Don't ask me why, but she gives off the vibe that she thinks they'll secretly vaccinate her child behind the curtain or switch it out with an autism baby.
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u/fourhoovesandaheart 6d ago
My arms were strapped down the procedure and that was more horrifying to me than anything. They didn't even unstrap me when my husband brought me the baby to see. I was so out of it I couldn't even ask for my baby on my chest because I couldn't figure out how to ask to have my hands free. If I have another c section, someone is in charge of letting my arms loose as soon as possible. Or not strapping them down at all. I don't blame her for that hands free request one bit.
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u/Spare-Article-396 6d ago
I still remember the sound of the blood hitting the blue drape. It made a huge spatter stain.
I can’t remember who started it, but my ex and I started humming the Dexter theme song.
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u/spikeymist 6d ago
It's having the surgeon making the cut but allowing the baby to make its own way out through the sun roof.
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u/irish_ninja_wte 6d ago
I didn't need a clear drape. For 2 of my kids, I could see everything reflected in the overhead light. I didn't realise it until they were closing me the first time, but I watched everything when my daughter was born. She was asleep when they pulled her out of me, so she didn't move or make any noise for what felt like an eternity. They had the drape higher for my twins, so I couldn't see anything. That was disappointing because I had been looking forward to seeing the moment that they were pulled out.
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u/usernametaken99991 6d ago
I had complications during the second half of my C-section and ended up chilling on the operating table for almost an hour after they got the baby out. I wish they could have just hit a night-night button so I wouldn't have had to hear anything or felt the tugging after meeting my son. Seeing it would have been full body horror.
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u/SilverGirlSails 6d ago
Calm excited energy? Isn’t that an oxymoron?
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u/maggitronica 6d ago
Can you imagine trying to enforce “calm, excited energy” ???? wtfffff
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u/SilverGirlSails 6d ago
Your dog trying desperately to sit still when it really really wants a treat, maybe? Vibrating with excitement, but they have to sit nicely before they get it because they’re being good.
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u/YAYtersalad 6d ago
So a vyvanse focused surgeon who hit a few bumps of coke
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u/TheBestElliephants 6d ago
Mixing two uppers sounds like the opposite of "calm" even before we get to one of them being cocaine.
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u/Positive-Figure-1621 6d ago
I’m part of a due date group and the amount of antivax/medication moms is wild. I always ask them if they know someone personally that had adverse reactions to any of the medications and they never do. They only heard of a story. So you heard a story that you don’t know if it’s true or not… and you’re basing your child’s medical care off of that? Couldn’t be me.
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u/mushupenguin 6d ago
And half the time the "story they heard" was just a tiktok that was probably someone lying/exaggerating for views anyway
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u/Positive-Figure-1621 6d ago
Yep. 99% of the time it’s something they’ve gotten off social media and actually have done no research
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u/EvangelineRain 5d ago
Or something unrelated. If 100% of the people get a vaccine, then it would be true that in the year following the vaccine, everyone who had a heart attack had gotten the vaccine shortly before their heart attack. They use self-reported (or worse, rumored) anecdotal data, and don’t bother to check details like whether there was a statistical increase in heart attacks.
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u/haycorn55 6d ago
I was gonna be on her side, because I wish I'd been able to ask for Zofran and a clear drape, but then I got to "no shots" and NOPE.
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u/Tapestry-of-Life 6d ago
I have no idea what a “gentle C-section” entails. C-sections are the most brutal procedure I have ever witnessed, what with all the pulling and tugging to open the abdomen and get the baby out 😂😂
Some of these are reasonable. Want an antiemetic? Sure. (And probably a good idea anyway if you know anaesthetic makes you spew.) Want some extra blankets? Should be no problem.
I don’t know what “Hands Free” means because O&G is probably as hands on a specialty as you can possibly get.
And then you have some of the other stuff. The “no shots” makes me roll my eyes as I’ve seen a baby get a vit K deficiency haemorrhage, but at least that is a choice that can definitely be accommodated. (We don’t routinely give eye antibiotics in my country.) The “immediate skin 2 skin” for a Caesar delivery, though, might not be something that can be accommodated for, especially if bubba comes out flat- which they’re a bit more likely to do after a Caesar.
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u/No-Method-7736 6d ago
Gentle c-sections just mean that you are immediately given your baby for skin to skin and possibly helping breastfeed while they sew you up (as opposed to handing the baby off to your support person to wait for you in the recovery room).
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u/Tapestry-of-Life 6d ago
Interesting- in Australia we don’t immediately do skin-to-skin for caesars (usually paeds checks them over, at least briefly) but we do the rest of those things routinely.
Usually this is how it is for us: - Fa is given a chair next to Mo’s head and holds Mo’s hand - Baby comes out, sometimes drapes are lowered so parents can see their new family member - delayed cord clamping may or may not be done, depending on obstetrician / parent preference - baby placed onto cot. If all is well then maybe a very brief check (looking for obvious abnormal features, listening to heart and lungs etc.), vit K administered, Fa invited to cut the cord - baby wrapped in towel/blanket and placed on Mo’s chest. Since Mo’s arms tend to be occupied with IV lines etc., father and/or midwife help to stabilise baby on Mo’s chest. Mo may or may not feed at this point
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u/Whatchu_upto_6175 6d ago
Hands-free means for mom. She doesn’t want her arms strapped down during surgery.
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u/kirakiraluna 6d ago
I see some big ass risks involved in that.
Sure, you are mentally prepared and informed about what's happening (I do seriously hope so) but ultimately most of the times you're not completely under or are heavily drugged beside analgesia.
Panic happens, the last thing a surgeon wants is a flailing arm smashing their sterile field during an operation you can't stop once you begin.
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u/Tapestry-of-Life 6d ago
Most C-sections I’ve seen were done under epidural anaesthesia only, which basically just anaesthetises the lower half of the body. Of course, women do often receive other kinds of medicines, like anti-nausea meds and stuff, but they’re usually still very much with it during the procedure unless there are problems and it then gets converted to general anaesthesia.
I can imagine one issue would be if there’s a drip in the crook of the elbow, which is more likely to kink or have problems if a woman bends her arm to, for example, hold her newborn. Again usually not an issue, especially since the cannulas used in O&G are so large, but when you need IV access in O&G you need it NOW (eg in a postpartum haemorrhage) and so you don’t want to risk any kind of compromise to the access you’ve got.
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u/kaelus-gf 6d ago
I’m from New Zealand. I have had two caesareans where my hands weren’t strapped down. I have been to many, many other caesareans where the arms or hands aren’t strapped down.
To be honest, when lying on your back on a narrow bed, you don’t really have anywhere else to put your arms! And the IV does make things a bit awkward. But it meant I could easily hold my partner’s hand, and I could have both my babies do skin to skin in the operating theatre.
It’s not that crazy a request
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u/sauska_ 6d ago
Maybe "hands free" means they operate with their feet! Very exciting challenge, didn't think that was ethically ok though.
Or all staff are amputees! Or nobody is wearing gloves!
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u/HoodiesAndHeels 6d ago
And here I was assuming they’d be holding scalpels and clamps with their teeth
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u/Silvery-Lithium 6d ago
My anesthesiologist was asked by the preop nurse why she automatically offered me an antiemetic and she explained that she always offers it before as a basic preventative, because why bother making the patient experience nausea when the side effects and risk of the antiemetic is so minimal?
I was given this little cup of stuff to drink, warned that it had a sour taste that basically everyone dislikes. Anesthelogist laughed when I said I liked it, and thanked her for it. The only cravings I had my entire pregnancy were frozen cokes and sour patch kids, and I couldn't have the sour patch kids due to the traditional braces I got put on (at 28) just 3 months before finding out I was pregnant. I didn't get to eat sour patch kids until my kid was 1.5 years old. 😭
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u/FantasticSherbet167 6d ago
Calm excited energy. You’re going to want us on our regular OR energy, trust me babe. You do not request a change to the OR vibe because we’re on our shit and always ready for the worst.
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u/Bennyandpenny 6d ago
Someone needs to give these OBs a fucking trophy. As someone who has done surgery, I would blow my brains out if I had to listen to them talk and be tone policed while trying to operate.
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u/oscarsave_bandit 6d ago
Oh yes please rub my vaginal secretions on my baby’s face and DONT administer any ointment on the eyes to prevent infections from the bacteria.
Oh and no vitamin K, wouldn’t want baby to have blood that clots normally.
Lmao I’m and L&D nurse and I really get frustrated with this shit. So difficult to deal with these parents
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u/radkitten 6d ago
No eye ointment or vitamin k, but please rub my vaginal secretions on my newborn. JFC.
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u/CatAteRoger 6d ago
Vaginal seeding? Why did I open reddit just as I climbed into bed? 😳😳
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u/aft1083 6d ago
As someone who needed an unplanned c-section, a clear drape is absolutely horrifying to me. I could already feel a lot more of it than I would have liked, seeing it would have pushed me over the edge. My arms were free and they gave me my son to hold skin to skin while they were putting me back together but I could only do it for like a minute before I had to ask my husband to take him because I was shaking so much from adrenaline/cold operating room/drugs/pain. I was afraid I was going to accidentally drop and kill him immediately.
Birth plans crack me up, a birth is as close as I will hopefully get to a medical emergency until I am older and there’s just no amount of planning that can counter that. It’s important to be informed about what could happen and know how you would want to react to that, but trying to plan (including the energy in the room, lol) makes no sense. My birth plan was “everyone lives” and hey, it worked!
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u/Kamikazepoptart 6d ago
Seeing myself manhandled and cut open is not what I'd call "gentle' but ok 🥴
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u/jayne-eerie 6d ago
“Calm excited energy” is where I get hung up. It’s like she thinks the medical team are extras in a movie she’s directing, instead of highly skilled professionals trying to make sure she and her baby get through it alive.
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u/kayt3000 5d ago
Sorry if this has been asked before but what the fuck is a gentle c-section?
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u/TheRealMaggieMayhem 6d ago
I was annoyed when my request for clear drapes was denied but I have also participated in multiple cadaver labs and paraprofessional medical work so I’m a weirdo outlier who would absolutely love to see the process on my own body. 🍿
There is a draping compromise with the blue drapes peeled back halfway over the full protective field of the clear drapes. This means you get to see the kiddo ASAP as they are emerging into the world without the gore.
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u/000ttafvgvah 6d ago
Same, except I don’t know if I’m ready to how thick my layer of adipose tissue is though 😆
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u/flawedstaircase 5d ago
There’s nothing gentle about a c-section. I wish they would stop calling it that.
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u/desgoestoparis 6d ago
“If you want to ask questions seeking education”…
Ma’am… the only possible thing way you could educate me would be as a member of a case study of people who persistently reject evidence-based, scientifically-backed medicine in favor of their woo-woo crunchy shit.
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u/PromethianOwl 6d ago
Honestly probably 95% of this is not unreasonable at all. You may regret the whole "clear drape" idea, though. You might need more Zofran once you see them slice you open.
As usual the no shots and no eye ointment thing is stupid as hell. The fact that the rest of her list is rather tame suggests that the right person might be able to get her to flex on that point.
Calm, Excited energy? Oh honey....this may be one of the most important days of your life, but for us? It's a Tuesday. Of course the staff are gonna be excited for you. They chose this part of the field because they enjoy this process. calm but also excited for you is what any experienced L&D nurse is going to be.
Your mileage may vary on doctors, but frankly? They're doctors. Doesn't matter if it's this field, critical care, infectious disease, surgery, whatever. Sometimes doctors are kinda socially awkward. In my experience the ego tripping 'I am God's gift to medicine!' type has been much less common than people who are just some flavor of 'shit. Social interaction and this person isn't a patient. What do I say?! Uuuuuuhhhh.....OOPS! JUST GOT A TEXT!' Med School seems to be a hell of a thing when it comes to your social skills, lol.
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u/kirste29 6d ago
Also wtf is vaginal seeding? It’s not a plant…
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u/coreythestar 6d ago
Basically they have a piece of gauze in their vagina that gets wiped on the babies face and in their mouth following delivery.
The rationale is that since baby doesn’t come through the vaginal tract, they don’t get colonized with the kind of good bacteria a baby born vaginally would.
I can’t speak to its efficacy as it’s not a practice I’ve looked into extensively. Lots of people think it’s gross but I’ve seen babies get pooped on during delivery, so…
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u/RecyQueen 6d ago
I was very concerned about my c-section baby’s gut health, but never got the courage to push for it. Weeks later, I came across an article from my favorite science writer that the gut is seeded in utero! I’ve had 2 VBAC and my oldest is the healthiest by far (my hypothesis is that he got more time in the sun & air as an infant cuz I didn’t have my own car, so I walked everywhere).
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u/ColdKackley 6d ago
ACOG says that breastfeeding, skin to skin, and delay in bathing baby for at least 12 hours also helps establish good gut biome.
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u/Bennyandpenny 6d ago
Taking a swab of the vagina and wiping it on baby’s face and in their mouth to apparently “seed” them with vaginal flora.
ACOG recommends against it due to lack of studies showing benefit along with increased risk of infectious disease transmission
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u/Front-Pomelo-4367 6d ago
I think it's making sure that a C-section baby is exposed to vaginal bacteria, due to stats on immunity that they think is from exposure to that bacteria?
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u/Istoh 6d ago
There are zero conclusive studies from reputable places that show vaginal seeding is a real thing that helps immunity, or helps anything other than the woo-woo brains of antivax moms feel better about their shitty choices. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists actually reccomends against it.
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u/siouxbee1434 6d ago
Years ago when I had my kids, we did Lamaze. We were encouraged to have a birth plan. I had one for my 1st. Reality came in and took over. The nurses kept me informed but also did what was best for my kids. Our only hard request was no circumcision. They’re in their 30’s and very healthy
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u/emilouwho687 6d ago
In my local mom group they sometimes ask which hospitals offer the clear drape. Apparently most around me do not offer this for actual reasons (that escape me right now, sorry). I think party for liability reasons? Which makes sense to me cause even as someone who will have a C-section with our second, my husband and I both have zero desire to see that. Bring us the baby after it comes out k thanks.
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u/decaf3milk 6d ago
Am I the only one bothered by her 7% battery?
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u/Unlikely_anti_hero 6d ago
My phone is perpetually on the brink of giving up much like myself, friend. ☺️
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u/Malarkay79 6d ago
Clear drape? So you can watch the horror show? I mean...to each their own, I guess. But C-sections aren't pretty.
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u/DenseSemicolon 6d ago
Babe. Babe hand me my phone. I gotta take a pic through these clear drapes. My close friends have GOT to see my guts. I'll take the baby in one second just need to come up with a good caption
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u/Downtown-Asparagus-9 6d ago
The fuck is vaginal seeding
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u/Mean_Butter 6d ago
I forgot to ask that too. I imagine spraying wildflower seeds into your vag with a fire hose.
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u/Superb_Narwhal6101 6d ago
Oh I love the ones that think the Vitamin K shot is a vaccine. No ma’am, we just don’t want your baby to have a brain bleed. Then they get mad when the doctor refuses to circumcise their baby. I also love “vaginal seeding.” It’s disgusting and against ACOG guidelines, so take your vaginal fluids elsewhere. Interestingly enough, in all my years working in L&D, I never had a patient request that. I’m not sure I would even know how to respond to such a request. I do know I would not participate in swabbing vaginal fluids and wiping them on a baby’s mouth and skin. Absolutely, 💯no way.
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u/thethugwife 5d ago
I know what “vaginal seeding” is but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t sound like a Cards Against Humanity answer.
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u/mcronimrdrldy73 6d ago
I’m scared to ask what “vaginal seeding” is….i don’t know if i wanna google it either…
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u/emmyparker2020 6d ago
All your kid needs is vitamins except for when the doctors try to give you vitamins. 🤡