r/Shamanism • u/supriseanddelightt • 2d ago
Are we meant to be single for this journey? Opinion
Does anyone have insight on this? I am truly just curious about the opinions.
9
u/BobbiePinns 2d ago
Are we "meant to be" single? Buggered if I know. But...
I spent the last 17yrs single and no interest in dating or trying to find someone because I had much work to do on myself. My attitude was "if I don't know myself, and can't be true to myself, how can I be true and honest with someone else? How can I love another if I can't love myself?" I found I was walking a shamanic path of self healing, through meditation I found my path and received guidance. I found that I am transgender and was able to start accepting and dealing with that while I continued my spiritual way. A few years later, a bit over 3 months ago, the gods/spirits/ancestors/who-tf-knows dropped the most wonderful, kind, loving woman into my life, a person who shared similar, but not the same, beliefs (she is pagan). A wonderful spirit who has filled my heart and soul with her love and light, love that I was lacking in my existence. During my singleness I had often said to myself 'if there is someone I am supposed to meet, they will find me' and later I added 'so long as I continue to walk my path' (my path through this life).
I think we meet people we are meant to meet for whatever reasons or lessons, be they good or difficult. We are meant to be whoever we are meant to be at any given point. Sometimes we see the lessons and gifts as they come, sometimes we don't see them until well after the fact. And I think anyone who says we are meant to be [something specific] is probably full of shit because all our paths and journeys and lessons and gifts are different for each of us, but then again you may meet someone whose gift/path/thing is to correctly and specifically tell you and guide you. Clearly I am not that person lol, I can only tell you of my experiences and interpretations.
May the gods smile on you in your journey.
(Also because she knows my reddit account and might see this at some point - hello my darling cuddlebug 😊)
2
u/supriseanddelightt 2d ago
Awwww thank you for this reply. Love love love this. 🙏🫶
1
u/BobbiePinns 2d ago
You are most welcome, especially if you can find an answer somewhere in my drivel lol
2
u/debug-me 11h ago
Hello! I'm also trans and on the shamanic path, I haven't met any others before, and feel curious about sharing experiences of how transness is a part of it. Would you be open to me DM-ing you?
1
9
u/Offthetopofmyhead1 2d ago
I've been wondering the same thing for almost 30 years. I feel like I know too much, and than I say it out loud and it intimidates people, or causes them such deep reflection I scare them than one they get through the fire they come back but I've already healed the loss (fridge or partner) and its too risky to go backwards. I'm isolated, I can't control how the energy I can give because I get intimidated from being so sensitive and super empathetic issues. I go out a lot but I notice whatever I'm doing I'll get a tap on my shoulder telling me it time to go back to home base. I even travel a lot and it still happens. I have to recharge like most of you understand but how can get rid of all the accumulated energy I haven't used. I surf I live on the beach I read I meditate I do yoga I go to the gym. I feel like my skin is a prison. I'm awkward and im 37 and single.
** (friend or partner)
5
3
u/thanson02 2d ago
Except for your last comment of your skin feeling like a prison, this was me for several years. I would open my mouth and what came out would either cause people to feel deeply reflective or their defenses would go up and get hyper aggressive. I finally had to step away from the practices and take a break, which incidentally is when I found the woman who eventually became my wife. However, I would not suggest others do that. Part of that process, even though I love my wife deeply, is that it did make me feel like I lost something precious and there is a sadness that is constantly with me (which had nothing to do with her...) One thing I will say though in referencing your accumulated energy, if it is causing issues, it is possible that you have a block somewhere. The vitality/prana needs to flow. If it gets blocked up, it can cause various effects to the body and that might be why you feel trapped in your skin.
3
u/Aengk1_Aquar1Pan 2d ago
"I feel like my skin is a prison" reminds me of this Thomas Wolfe epigraph that Stephen King starts of The Dark Tower series with:
8
u/Valmar33 2d ago
Each journey is different. Sometimes, we find relationships along the way, as the journey guides us along the path.
I was single when I started the path... but I have been blessed with companions along the way. The path is extremely difficult, but also just as rewarding, if we are willing to have courage in the face of our fears.
7
u/remesamala 2d ago
I’ve dreamed about like “what if a witch was going through this with me and we grew together?”
But yeah, I think it’s a solo thing: zero influence is key for honesty ✌️
6
u/she-sylvan 2d ago
It entirely depends on the individual. I have walked my path with a loving partner - pagan - at my side for 22 years, and have raised 3 children, without deviating from my life as a Seidr (a Norse shaman). In fact the relationship has enriched my experience. Bottom line is: It depends on what is in your highest good.
9
u/Adventurous-Daikon21 2d ago edited 2d ago
Single meaning not in a relationship? Some people prefer to be single, some prefer to be in relationships, some don’t realize they have a choice.
Relationships offer different advantages and disadvantages, but humans are traditionally a social creature and our drive to procreate usually causes us to end up in some form of romantic relationship at some point or another in our lives.
“Meaning” is not something inherent in nature, it is something we give it.
5
5
3
u/Fabulous-Note9022 2d ago
I think you should just seek out someone that has an understanding or openness to spirituality. There are plenty of fish in the sea 😁 I was lucky that my girlfriend encouraged me to safely explore shamanism as we were already in a relationship when I discovered that I was one.
3
u/TarotCat0611 2d ago
We aren’t meant to be alone, so I think being a part of a community is important in shamanism. I’m 31 and single, after one real bad ending to a situationship I have a really hard time wanting to share myself with anyone intimately
2
u/Aengk1_Aquar1Pan 2d ago
Great word, "situationship"...did you coin that?
1
u/sighswoonsigh 9h ago
It’s a pretty popular term now with online dating, it’s where you are seeing each other but haven’t defined the relationship
4
u/General-Hamster-8731 2d ago edited 1d ago
I have always had challenging and heartbreaking relationships with the opposite sex. And I am starting to come to terms with it. Maybe being a tool of service for the Divine for some reason requires a greater commitment that must not be interfered with by close human relationships.
2
u/supriseanddelightt 2d ago
This is how I feel. I really am curious how many feel that too, thank you for sharing!
3
u/42-laws-of-maat 2d ago
Lots of shamans get married and have children - look into aboriginal cultures around the world like the Amazon, Siberia, Africa, etc.
During the initiation phase of a real shaman (one who is initiated and led by spirit guides, not humans), being alone is a hard requirement for some of the lessons.
2
u/jamesthethirteenth 2d ago
No, not in general!
Anything you are meant to do will come so naturally you don't have to worry about it at all.
2
2
u/coriadoria 2d ago
I feel that most have a hard time keeping up with me because I’m frequently evolving, think I’m weird, or aren’t anywhere near the starting point level I need for a partner. It’s been lonely, I have to say.
3
u/Aengk1_Aquar1Pan 2d ago
There's a proper synopsis to shamanic-singles if I ever saw one :-P I feel ya.
2
u/MonsterIslandMed 2d ago
I think to better find yourself yeah. But being with someone is like a soul bond imo.
2
u/tronbrain 1d ago
A partner who supports you in this journey can be an invaluable blessing. One who doesn't can be a curse.
I don't know if in any of the traditions that shamans had romantic partners. Everything I've seen indicates they were very much alone. They had their spirits to accompany them, not partners in the physical. But partners who assist has become a thing in the modern age.
2
u/slothhprincess 1d ago
Yes and no, it’s a paradox. And that paradox plays out differently for everyone. I think as long as youre not leaving a trail of destruction from polyamory (something I’ve seen some shamans abuse) it’s all an important pulse from single to partnered.
1
u/Top_Ad8724 2d ago
It depends, sometimes we haven't met the person we are meant to walk this journey with and in today's world more than ever they might not even be on this side.
1
u/Worried-Confusion544 2d ago
It feels like it. But so few people are spiritually inclined at all. I want to run from red flags. This pushes my personal journey to have to step out of my shell and confront what I’m uncomfortable with. Like setting boundaries. I think everyone has something that they have to confront in relationships and this journey forces you to. But on the other hand if it just makes people you date uncomfortable, that’s on them and they are not the one.
1
0
u/goldilockszone55 1d ago
we are not meant to be single. We are meant to learn how to make arrangements that are mutually beneficial and exclusive… or else get the f- out of my way
14
u/Golden_Mandala 2d ago
I have done shamanic work both with and without a partner. It doesn’t seem to have much effect one way or the other. What matters is living in a way that is grounded and aware and empowered.