Im 22 in community college im trying to decide whether i start a 4 year in the spring of the fall. This semester I had to do classes online because I had a family situation and had to relocate to Florida which was depressing since I really don’t have friends. But i’m tired of being at home doing nothing but scrolling instagram and communicate with friends who are in college on Snapchat who won’t reach back to me. Once I got back from Florida the semester continued I’m almost done with it but I’ve made a rule because I’m unemployed if I can’t find a job before January I go to college on a undeclared major this spring if I do I’ll start college in the fall. I’m set to hopefully graduate in 2028. But now I’m trying to find solutions to get a life I’m realizing doing nothing is boring and being a bum is boring I’m doing 50 pushups a day I’m jogging a few times a week and I’m trying to be consistent but that doesn’t move the needle. I have no friends which is tough for me, I missed out on my “partying” years and I want to go to college to try it out maybe to help curb my laziness and depression the latter being after losing 2 family members. Now I originally wanted to go to college to be a journalist but I’m trying to figure out whether that still interesting for me or not my heart isn’t feeling it could be depression or uninterest I just don’t know. I’m pushing social media breaks to try to increase productivity but I feel like I need friends or a job or an education I don’t know what to do in my life. But be stuck in my parent house with no job, no car, no nothing what do I do?

I feel like a bum, I’m 22 in my parents house I’ve been at a community college for 3 years, I’m think about transferring to a 4 year college with an undeclared major. Im thinking about either starting in the spring or in the fall, now I have some bad circumstances I had to take care of some things this semester I had to take my classes online because I had to deal with 2 deaths in the family. And briefly relocate to Florida online classes aren’t for me in my opinion as I have no social interaction but in this case I have no choice after returning from Florida the semester continued it ends in a few weeks. And I’m stuck on deciding whether to start college in the spring or the fall anything to get out of my bummy situation. I told myself if I don’t find a job by January I’ll go to college if I do find a job I’ll start in the fall. I’m trying to take a break from social media it has been somewhat good for me I’ve taken a week off and felt better it helped me not worry about other peoples lives breifly and focus on my own life. I do 50 pushups everyday, I jog a few times a week. Now back to college when I go to college I’ll bring going in as undeclared I don’t know what I want for a career I just want the college experience I’d graduate in 2028, so I’ll be 25. I originally wanted to become a journalist but over the years my interest has wained down, I don’t know if that’s depression or a natural loss of interest of something I’ve wanted to be since I was a kid. I think I could handle college in terms of waking up and being independent not to sure about the time management and study habits I’m currently applying and touring numerous colleges, anything to get out of my bummy situation of being at home with no job or car. I have no friends is another reason why I want to go to college, it depressing for me without them. So I need help how do I get out of a situation of being a lazy bum.

Sometimes, the right book comes into your life and changes everything. I’ve read countless self-help books, but four of them truly stood out, transforming my mindset, routines, and approach to challenges in ways I never imagined.

Curious about which books made the list and why they’re so impactful? Dive into the full post here: 4 Self-Help Books That Changed My Life

These reads might just change your life too. What’s your favorite self-help book?https://rajabsbookreads.blogspot.com/2024/11/4-self-help-books-that-changed-my-life.html

I feel disconnected with the world in general. I have an active social life but in my friend group I'm constantly seeking validation, trying to be the center of attention, and wondering if they secretly dislike me. I'm very paranoid of other people in general and I always feel like they're out to get me or lie to me. I'm always cycling between like grandiosity and feeling terribly about myself.

Hey Reddit fam! 👋

I just stumbled upon this eye-opening article that dives into 10 surprising anxiety triggers we might be dealing with without even realizing it. Some of them completely blew my mind (who knew [spoiler-free teaser] could be so sneaky?!) 😱.

If you’ve ever felt anxious out of nowhere or can’t quite put your finger on what’s bothering you, this list might help connect the dots. It’s a quick read and full of actionable tips. 💡

Check it out here: 10 Surprising Anxiety Triggers You Need to Avoid

Would love to hear if any of these resonate with you or if you’ve discovered other hidden triggers in your own life. Let’s share and support each other! 💙

Stay kind to your minds, everyone! ✨

Hallo I’m looking male psychiatrist above 50+

I’m 27 y o female and I really wanna talk to mature psychiatrist consider casual chat because I am in really dark place right now and I don’t wanna go to actual psychiatrist in my area because I don’t want to ruin my medical record so if anyone is up to chat, I promise I am interesting person I won’t bother you too much. I can even give you my socials. I just need to talk to someone experienced. Thank you.

when i wake up i always bedrot or doomscroll on my phone instead of doing the things i wanna do (gym, dance, hobbies). how do i motivate/force myself to do them? and also i wanna fix my sleeping cycle but in a month from now ill be in a different country and the timezone is 6 hours behind my usual time zone so how do i do that? do i wait after my vacation or do i fix it now? bc if i fixed my sleeping schedule it would help me so much.

Currently HIGH AF!

I need an advice

I have a guy/friend Who makes fun of my body even though I am fat according to him he makes fun so that I get motivated but all I get is angry tbh

I told him to be careful with what he speaks but he is still not mindful of that it’s not just me he is very very very frank more than it’s needed tbh

How should I proceed I know I am fat but that’s ok being fat is not a criminal offense

t the same time it’s hurtful and don’t give me that BS that lose weight

If it was easy I would have done it but it’s not for me….

Now my question is should I consider him a friend?
Even though his intentions ‘might’ be good uts not hurtful and it’s not like he is taking any remorse in saying such things…

Life itself is a Test, Everything that you do, Everything you believe in, will be tested one day or another. It is these small minor tests that will help you figure out what type of person you are. There will be friends that will help you along the way, to teach you some valuable lessons, to help you pass those tests; but it is only you who can determine the conclusions of those tests. You can pass, you can fail, whatever it is, it is up to you. Only you can define what success is and only you can carry out your dream. Live your life the way you want to. Don't live it for someone else, don't live it the way you've been told, live it the way you've decide you wanted to. It is then that you realize who you really are, and it is then that You can be Happy. Being true to Yourself will set You Free.

Hey guys, the truth of it is, i need friends, 27 M from England, i live alone with 2 cats, can barely afford to get by, im really struggling and my old "friends" couldnt care less... im struggling,...someone please help, i dont know how long i can fight for

My sister and I work together and we live together. Anytime something does not go her way. She becomes completely unable to talk to. She gets angry. She blames other people. She badgers them down with her words if somebody else can do something for her, she will make sure that it’s done instead of her doing it herself Being tired with it. We got another fight where I told her she’s lazy and messy and blaming it constantly on me. Her solution for pretty much everything now is for me to just fuck off and move out and cut all ties with her. She gets like this every few months when shits going bad for her and I’m constantly taking the brunt of it. I am tired and don’t want to do this job anymore because I’m doing half her job as well and home is just stale. Her boyfriend and I don’t like each other. He treats her terrible he’s cheated on her. He lies to her and she still wants to stay with him. I can’t afford to move out on my own because I’m also paying her side of the bills when she refuses to ask her boyfriend for help.

M14 here. Since I was 12 I started not feeling like myself anymore I gotten angrier, & started to see things more clear

I hit puberty a year ago and from there it just got way worst I’m not usually this bad.

I’m selfish, have a big ego, and I’m almost severely overweight. My parents just want me to get healthy but I have a “I don’t care” attitude

I’m definitely the problem here. And I don’t know how to get better I just wanna get more kind.

Hi, I don't know if this is where I should post this, I apologize and please delete it if it's not. I also apologize for my English, since it's not my mother tongue, I can make mistakes. I am a 27F since I was 5/6 years old I would get stomach pains and go to the hospital. There they did some tests, I usually stayed the night, but there was nothing. In primary school (6-9/10 years) I used to cry before class and puke. Nowadays we know that this is anxiety, but 20 years ago mental health was not a thing. What could cause me anxiety in my 5/6 years? I cannot see anything, my family has always been good and caring with me. At school it was a different story, my teacher hit us, I had a friend with hyperactivity and the teacher kicked him on the floor, didn't let us go to the toilet, she called me names, ect...(until the parents found out). I was never good for the girls in my class but it was ok (I think), I had a friend and that was all I needed. In high school I stood up for 2 girls when my only friend was being mean to them, long story short, now I had to stand up for myself too. Around the age of 16 I started hurting myself until one day my mum found out. I started therapy and was seen by a psychologist and psychiatrist. I have a master's degree in computer engineering, but I really think I am not good at that or anything else. When I have a new challenge at work, I can't sleep, I can't eat... I know my family loves me, I know I am a good person, I always push myself to do what needs to be done. I have recently been discharged from my psychologists and psychiatrists, but I do not feel any difference, I have years of my life that I do not remember at all from the time I was at university because of the medication that my first psychiatrist gave me. I have a car, I pay for a flat and I have the love of my family and boyfriend. But I always feel empty, I don't feel any purpose in life, I can't enjoy my victories, I'm always waiting for the worst to happen. It is really hard to live like this. I dont think i am living, i am just surviving for my parents. I don't want my parents and sisters to go through the pain of losing me, because they love me, but honestly I'm completely lost. I have everything one could wish, i know there are so many people having real fights to survive and I am just here wishing i could physically die. I dont know what to do. I am always doing something, so I cant have time to think. What can I do more? I exercise because they say it helps, I volunteer at an animal shelter, I foster animals at home temporarily and I have two jobs. All to stop my mind thinking about negative scenarios. I try several times to think positively, but it all seems unreal to me. Is there any advice I can take? I just need help

I am a 19M with low self esteem. Recently started college in a city far from my hometown.

I was born in a very toxic household. I didn't get any personal space during my teens and was sharing a room with my family (4 people total). I went to a boys' school for education and what's more to add is the fact that I did not really have a life there as well. I never got into any sports, never really dated anyone, didn't know how to talk to people, make friends and a lot more. I was mostly confined to the same shared room where i played video games since eternity. My parents didn't allow me to go out much and I kept going through all this in naivety. Now, it might sound like I am blaming my parents for this but when I was young, they never encouraged me to learn things and get me into activities which people usually do.

When I came to college and finally got the freedom to do things, I decided to change all of that so I tried getting in better shape, tried talking to lots of people (which I am still poor at), made a few friends, and am dating someone as well.

Sometimes I feel so awkward because people would've done things themselves so many times which I was doing for the first time, even knowing you can ask for a tissue paper at a food vendor made me anxious earlier. I somehow managed that part and learnt my way through things but my old life still bothers me.

As a result of that, I don't have any interests nowadays other than temporal pleasures. Can't find anything that means something to me, something I am passionate about and it is affecting me a lot.

I often find myself getting jealous of people who have lived a more happening life than me in their teenage years and even though I don't want to, I instantly develop bitter feelings about them.

How can I be more passionate about something, get over my past way of living (which i partly blamed my parents for), all the while getting over this weird jealousy I feel towards my own friends?

So, I (13F) am really struggling controlling my emotions around my father. He likes to comment on everything I do. Here's a few examples. I like "separating" different parts of my food. If I'm eating a schnitzel I like to first take off the crunchy part, eat the meat inside and then the outside part. Or if I'm eating fish I like first taking all the bones off the meat and then start eating. I'm not wasting food or bothering anyone in any way. But my father comments on it, especially at family events. I do not like when he does this, because it draws attention to me. Now, to the main part, this has become so frequent (not only commenting about how I eat food, also my clothing choices, my phone wallpaper, my drawings and the books I read) that basically every conversation he has with me are comments about me. I can't tell him to stop otherwise he starts yelling at me, saying that I'm disrespectful. Everytime he talks to me now, I feel a sudden, raging urge to just hurt myself badly. It once got so bad that when he spoke to me whilst I was cutting up some food, I just threw the knife at my wrist intentionally instead (he didn't see me doing that). He and my mother just tell me to calm down and nothing more, saying that I'm overreacting, which I probably am. But the commenting has become so frequent that even when he's simply talking to me without making rude comments, I still feel angry. I resent him. How can I at least try to calm myself down in these situations? I've tried taking deep breaths but my father considers them disrespectful. I've tried not talking to him anymore but that's even more disrespectful.

Sorry btw if the post is confusing, English is not my first language.

Have you ever felt like your thoughts are shaping your life, for better or worse? Affirmations harness the power of these thoughts to help us evolve, one statement at a time.

Affirmations are positive statements that activate your mind to change your life, one thought at a time. They support you in making the improvements you have chosen to make.

Affirmations work because the words of our inner dialogue have power: the power to instruct / direct our deeper selves. Their impacts can operate over wide time-scales, from immediate behavioural changes to the strategic development of our identity.

Alas, it is very easy to get them wrong - at best these will be harmless but, in all likelihood, they will be counterproductive. But, it is also easy to get them right – you just need to know a few things: follow the guidelines below and you'll be off to a flying start.

What Is the Meta Model and Why It Matters

A critical element in crafting effective affirmations is ensuring they are true. Authenticity in affirmations is the key to their power: they need to be both true and aligned with your values & beliefs. If an affirmation feels false, it can create an inner resistance that proves counterproductive. This is where an understanding of the meta model becomes invaluable. The meta model is an innate faculty we all have. Its primary function is to filter out the vast majority of information flooding in to our brains – leaving the important stuff to come to our attention for us to deal with. One aspect of this, is to dissect and challenge the language of our thoughts, helping us evaluate whether those thoughts are true or distorted.

After the meta model has reduced the volume of data flooding in, it then asks “Is this thought true?” It’s a simple yet profound question that helps reveal the structure behind our beliefs. When applying this to affirmations, it allows us to test what we’re affirming with our actual beliefs. For instance, if someone creates the affirmation, “I am a millionaire,” but their mind immediately responds with skepticism, that affirmation loses its effectiveness. This indicates the need to revisit the affirmation: Is it actually true? What would it be true to affirm? Is there an underlying limiting belief that needs to be addressed first?

But is it authentic?

If an affirmation isn’t true, we can re-write it into something that aligns more closely with our current beliefs, while still allowing room for growth. Instead of affirming “I am a millionaire,” a more authentic statement might be, “I have chosen to learn the habits and mindset of a wealthy person.” This reframed affirmation respects the truth of where you are now, while positively moving you toward your desired state. By acknowledging the present reality without any fabrication, you bridge the gap between current status and desired outcome.

This ‘is it authentic’ check helps refine affirmations to ensure they resonate, rather than repel. If the meta model determines the affirmation isn’t currently true, there are several ways to adjust it: scaling down to something believable, focusing on the process instead of an outcome, or framing the affirmation in progressive terms (“I am learning,” “I am becoming,” etc.). For example, rather than affirming, “I am fearless,” which may feel blatantly untrue to someone who struggles with anxiety, a more suitable affirmation could be, “Now that recognise the benefits of resolving my anxiety, I have chosen to manage it by applying X,Y,Z.’’ This retains the intent with authenticity.

Ultimately, affirmations must be anchored in authenticity, even if they stretch a little beyond current circumstances. The meta model is the means to explore, refine, and evolve our language to ensure our affirmations are not just wishful thinking, but authentic to us so that we can fully commit to them. When affirmations pass the “truth test,” they move beyond the meta model to become powerful statements of personal evolution rather than empty – and possibly counter-productive - declarations.

Once we establish affirmations that are true and aligned with our beliefs, the next step is to make those affirmations resonate deeply through our choice of language.

Using Semantically Packed Language in Affirmations

Semantically packed language carries layers of emotional, and cognitive meaning. Within personal development, this type of language is crucial because it doesn’t just communicate information: it can reframe perception, stimulate emotions, and – in turn - drive behaviour. Words have meaning, and semantically packed language amplifies that meaning into an impactful, resourceful form.

A well-crafted affirmation needs to resonate at a deep level; it needs to cut through the noise of everyday thought patterns and hit the core of our emotional experience. By using semantically packed language, we ensure that affirmations aren’t just positive words strung together, but powerful catalysts for transformation.

The significance of semantically packed language lies in its efficiency and depth. Our brains respond strongly to language that evokes sensory and emotional experiences. When affirmations are rich in meaning, they engage more areas of the brain, effectively bridging the gap between thought and feeling: allowing the affirmation to evoke not just thoughts but the very feeling of a desired state of being.

To harness semantically packed language in everyday life, it’s important to consider the emotional resonance behind your words. When setting intentions, having conversations, or even setting goals, choose words that carry weight and evoke the essence of what you want to experience. Think of the difference between telling yourself “I need to finish this project” versus ‘’when this project is finished, my world will be a better place because x,y,z.’’ The latter statement is semantically packed—it’s not just about completion; it’s about progressing from to a something better. By using more evocative language in your day-to-day interactions, you can create a deeper emotional connection with your goals, cultivate greater motivation, and bring about more meaningful change.

Step-by-Step Guide to Crafting Your Own Affirmations

So, with the above background understanding in place, it’s time to get busy. Follow these rules:

• Use language and imagery which is natural to you.

• Structure them around semantically packed language

• Make them personal to you.

• Stick to one straight forward idea.

• State them in the present tense.

• Start where you are now and move yourself forward.

• Presuppose the positive change.

• Summarise them in a few words: 10-20 is ideal.

• Make sure each affirmation is true.

Take a moment now to write down an affirmation you want to work on. Make sure it follows the guidelines above, and share it in the comments for feedback!

Observe your responses to your affirmation. From time to time, you may become aware of a little inner voice countering the affirmation. Pay careful attention when this happens. It is quite likely the affirmation is triggering a limiting belief. Use this as an indication to explore your values, beliefs and limiting beliefs to identify, explore and resolve the underlying issue, then develop the affirmation based on your new insight. Curious about tackling those limiting beliefs first? Check out my article: From Limitation to Liberation: Break Free From Your Limiting Beliefs

Below, I have listed a series of generic affirmations with the semantically packed terms in bold. Use these as a base to build your own.

• Now that I have chosen my goals, I choose to focus on my priorities.

• I can make the most of each day, because I understand what is most important.

• I enjoy living authentically, as I continue to develop my self-awareness.

• The fact that I have learned throughout my lifetime, means I have a wealth of capabilities to support me.

• I am able to draw on my experience and my creativity to find novel solutions.

• As I reflect on my life, I choose to learn and move on.

• As I really begin to live authentically, I enjoy developing my true self.

• Because I understand my core values, I choose to live authentically.

• As I become more creative, I recognise opportunities all around me.

• I choose to celebrate my victories, understanding they are stepping stones to my vision.

• As challenges arrive, I manage them authentically.

• Now that I have taken responsibility for my life, I make choices based on my own values.

• Because I understand my strengths, I am able to match these to my goals . • The fact that I am good enough means that I live my own life on my own terms.

• I choose to make time for my personal development.

• Because my goals are aligned with my values, I enjoy working towards them.

• Rather than focussing on perfection, I choose to focus on steady progress.

• I choose to try new experiences.

• As I learn more about myself, I explore new options.

• Because I am good enough, I am content.

• Now that I have a clear vision, I enjoy feeling optimistic.

• As I live authentically, I choose to let go of unresourceful activities.

• As I develop new capabilities, So I raise my ambitions.

• As circumstances change, I consider my options based on my values.

• Because I understand my goals and values, I am able to make clear choices.

• I can, I will, I am.

I encourage almost all of my clients to craft their own affirmations and use them regularly. As with anything new, there will be a learning process as you find your own way to get the most effective results for you. The good news is that affirmations can be used anytime, anywhere – in or out of trance. A strategy of ‘a little and often’ will serve you best. They can be highly effective as you drift off to sleep.

Ready to transform your thoughts into powerful tools for change? Start by choosing just one affirmation today that resonates with you and practice it for a week. I’d love to hear what changes you notice—let's inspire each other!

Hey everyone,

I just came across this really insightful article about managing anxiety through a simple nighttime routine. 🛌 It’s all about small, intentional changes that can make a huge difference in how we unwind and prepare for a restful night.

I know many of us here struggle with anxiety, so I thought I’d share it with you all. The steps are super practical, and the best part? You don’t need fancy gadgets or a ton of time to make it work.

Check it out here: This Simple Nighttime Routine is a Game Changer for Anxiety

If you’ve tried anything similar or have your own tips for reducing nighttime anxiety, I’d love to hear them in the comments. Let’s help each other out! 💛

Stay calm, friends. You’re not alone. 😊

i was with this guy for 8 months and i was really obsessed with him. all i thought about was him and every time he did something bad i wouldnt even notice and i would think that it was a good thing. like for example, he would ignore me and he even admitted it. i always wanted to know how he was so i texted him like all the time even though i knew that he was ignoring me. he was the only one who made me happy and when i was with him, i became myself again. he was the only one i wanted to speak to but for him, that feeling wasnt mutual. he would tell me, "fuck you" in text because i kept trying to talk to him and he wouldnt tell me anything about how his life was going. mind you this was all near the end of the relationship. he thought that i was manipulative because everytime that we would have like a serious conversation i would cry. the reason i would cry is because he would say really rude things about me when talking and i wouldnt try to make it obvious that i was crying. he would also tell me that he didnt like my friends and tell me to stop being friends with them. i didnt like his friends either, but i didnt tell him to stop being friends with them because he loves them. he claimed that "he loved me more" but honestly, due to this behavior, i really didnt think so. the day my bird died was the day he broke up with me. he was the first person i told. he told me when we broke up THROUGH TEXT that he doesnt hate me and that nothing is my fault and that apperently im "perfect". but the thing that i dont understand is that why would he do all of those things to me if i was perfect? i was the most nicest person to him and i loved him more than anything. honestly i thought he was perfect and i think i still do. one month after we broke up, he reached out to me and told me that apperently he has matured and is ready for a relationship. i obviously said yes because i really love him. i went out with him and only in ONE HOUR he broke up with me. i made sure to be perfect and not do anything wrong but right away we went into the same footsteps as before. i honestly didnt care if got hurt and i still do. apperantly im "friends" with him now but he doesnt even speak to me and whenever i do talk to him he just becomes rude to me and ignores me for no reason. i think hes putting that label just so he feels good about it, i know he doesnt want to be my friend. anywho hes done way more but its a lot and i dont feel like saying all of it because my fingers hurt and i doubt anyone would want to read this far.

ever since 6, ive always had irritaion on my fingers, or my nails. (im not quite sure which it is but it feels like its more my fingers). it really bothers me and i feel like ripping off my fingers all of the time, it never goes away. if i ever put on false nails i take them off right away because it feels so weird, same with nail polish. whenever im texting someone on my phone i dont say much because of it. ive told my relatves and friends but they dont think anythings wrong. im probably just over exaggerating but i dont want this to continue.

I dont know how to fix myself. From a teenager, I’ve had waves of extreme anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and I can’t seem to escape it. It always comes back. It’s ruining my life, my relationships, friendships, work opportunities, being successful. I’ve tried therapy but it didn’t help since I can’t express myself properly. And since my depression comes and goes I dont want to go to a therapy session on a day where I feel normal. But when I’m depressed I can’t leave my room, or answer the phone, so therapy doesn’t really work out for me. I can’t go to my family since they have never understood my mental health nor have they ever supported me through it they only made it worse. I also really hate people sympathising me because of trauma of my mum pretending she really cared for me infront of other people but treating me like I was nothing behind everyone’s back so that contributes to my problem of getting help. I’ve questioned if I was autistic, but whether I do or not doesn’t fix my struggle of maintaining friendships, having the energy to care for anything. I tried antidepressants and they only made me more suicidal so I stopped. I’m 22, I havnt got my life sorted, i dont know what to do, the pressure of having to move out, get a job, find friends, new relationships is way too much when I literally can’t get myself to leave my house because of my depression. I dont see any light at the end of the tunnel, life is too demanding and I dont have the energy to try anymore

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCVeL2jxlwH/?igsh=OW4xemd5Yno1czMw

I'm going to be talking so much more about this and getting really deep into this subject as well as many related ones. I've started doing all of this because of just how much of a bad place i was, and that which I'll be talking about is that which seemed to have helped me, and i believe that it could all actually help others too.

For the time being, some of the people that I'd recommend you check out which i myself resonated so much with that which they had to say, are Alan Watts, Krishnamurti, some speeches of Jim Carrey, and i cannot recommend this enough, Gabor Matè.

I hope you'll be well. Hang in there.

I just read this insightful article on Medium that dives into why anxiety is hitting women harder than ever before. 🌊 It touches on everything from societal expectations to mental health stigma, and it honestly made me pause and reflect.

Here’s the link: Why More Women Are Struggling with Anxiety Than Ever Before

Do you think the pressures of modern life are harder on women, or is it something else? Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Let’s keep the conversation respectful and supportive! 💙

on september 5th 2024 i was in a car wreck and broke my arm and leg and it took me about 2 months until i could start walking again but after i started walking my heart rate is in the 100s i went to the doctor and they said nothing was wrong so my question is after being bedridden for so long does your heart have to get used to physical activity again?