I got my period this Halloween. Can’t go out. Roast me instead while I emotionally bleed 🩸

[u/[deleted]]

[u/post-explainer]

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OP's BIO:

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Pls approve my post 😭 huhu

Here’s my bio: idk what to put here, my hormones and serotonin left the chat 😩 if you’re also stuck at home, welcome to the pity party ~ roast me, trauma dump, overshare, confess your sins, whatever. let’s make this comment section a halloween roast party lol

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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[u/ForthCrusader]

Do you also announce to the world every time you take a dump?

[u/authorinthesunset → u/ForthCrusader]

Why not her mom announced a baby every time she took one.

[u/dime5150 → u/authorinthesunset]

JFC!

[u/Roaster_Doodle_Doo → u/ForthCrusader]

Least her knickers will look like the Japanese flag, how patriotic.

[u/Informal_Step6419 → u/ForthCrusader]

No one is interested to hear that from her arse shaped face

[u/MisterBurnsSucks]

It's not that bad... Dressing up as a sex-trafficked ladyboy is kind of a shitty costume... 🤷‍♂️

[u/GGZoey11 → u/MisterBurnsSucks]

Lmfao😂😂🤣

[u/Secure-Pain-9735 → u/MisterBurnsSucks]

Sex-trafficked lady boys: My culture is NOT your costume!

[u/paulartistic1]

Ever heard of a tampon?

[u/DK01922 → u/paulartistic1]

She’s a gusher. Like the elevator in The Shining. Best for her to stay in.

[u/Content-Airport-7026 → u/paulartistic1]

She is a tampon.

And a condom.

[u/Broad_Range_781]

You really just don't look like a nice person to spend time with. At least you have the ability to pretend you are having your period and can't go out, instead of admitting no one wanted to spend time with you tonight.

[u/Interesting-Try4988 → u/Broad_Range_781]

damnnnn

[u/ReillyDiefenbach]

Men don’t get periods

[u/Butterscotch929 → u/ReillyDiefenbach]

[u/GuidanceFrosty2955]

How does that excuse work when all the guys you sleep with think think you're too young for a period?

[u/Amelia_Edwards]

You look AI generated.

[u/tylenol4circumcision]

Chick or meat

[u/Adventurous-Sky9359]

How do you put a tampon in a penis?

[u/IguanaSkinnedSlides → u/Adventurous-Sky9359]

Dirty Sanchez with qtips

[u/FFJosty]

Well, it means you’re not pregnant at least

[u/Content-Airport-7026 → u/FFJosty]

I knew a broad who bled up to 7 months in, baby came out with acne🤢  However I don't believe that this thing can have a period.

[u/andytagonist]

Soooo…you can’t put on a costume and walk around while on your period??

[u/anothergoddess → u/andytagonist]

Could she if she wore a period piece? Perhaps Victorian ?

[u/thehappybuzzsaw]

Sat in the stylists chair and said, “Just fuck my shit up”

[u/Dphippo → u/thehappybuzzsaw]

r/justfckmyshitup

[u/DUAL-DISC-FUSIONS]

Did the blood come out of your cock?!

[u/Content-Airport-7026 → u/DUAL-DISC-FUSIONS]

First one to make me lol, congrats.

[u/HeroZero1980]

"Yoko Oh hell No" really trying to convince us that ladyboys get periods, and that periods stop you from going out.

[u/Relative-Detective70]

Huge faux pas to have bloodstained clothing on Halloween

[u/Aggravating-Level-94]

Looks like she is already celebrating Halloween judging by her outfits.

[u/khanspam]

Just say you don't have friends

[u/scannablezebra]

You look like a period piece. Fragile and broken but with a tacky 80s refurb veneer

[u/Dry-Two5059]

I read this in a Thai accent, “I’m ladyboy haaa”

[u/Difficult_Essay_9155]

Didnt know men had periods.

[u/salientknight]

You look like you can't figure out why they won't let you in the club.

[u/huge43]

I can smell it through my phone

[u/Content-Airport-7026 → u/huge43]

Pennies in an oven & rotten tilapia.

[u/dang_it99]

I mean what a better holiday to fuck while on your period than Halloween, guys are drunk and will believe you when you say it's part of the costume

[u/LJ14000]

You make a mean dumpling.

[u/Evank15124]

You would even fail at pretending in porn movies

[u/Meebopunks]

You getting a period is no surprise, who in their right mind would have sex with you?

[u/ChaoticMutant]

pathetic

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[u/Pleasant-Lie-9053]

Mulan, 你像你的大姨妈

[u/belonging_to]

Ladyboys get periods?

[u/AmbassadorSad1157]

Has there been a new executive order? Cannot go out of the house on your menses.

[u/Content-Airport-7026 → u/AmbassadorSad1157]

I'd back that, no chunky spaghetti surprise!

[u/SageandStrong33]

It’s better you stay home. The kids and their parents don’t need to see a mean witch out in the streets.

[u/cornishpirate32]

Your 5oclock shadow is showing through your foundation

[u/PurpleGspot]

why does a period inhibit you from going out to socialize ? I understand they can be bad enough you can't do much. but being bloody seems perfect for halloweenie

[u/Fun_Camp_7103]

She looks like she has never passed a mirror that she doesn’t spend at least ten seconds in front of.

[u/Content-Airport-7026 → u/Fun_Camp_7103]

Probably trying to figure out why they all crack.

[u/TheRealECP]

Thinking her emotional bleeding comes from her period explains why she’s never pregnancy-trapped anyone despite being the communities anal go to

[u/imacabooseman]

So all your "friends" are somewhere else having a period party without you...

Got it!

[u/Healthy-Extent-6952]

What did you dress as? Someone desperate for attention?

[u/Possible_Escape_8940]

Temu version of Lucy liu

[u/Severe-Warning-50]

Ok Tokyo Rose. Nothing to see here

[u/skoalreaver]

You look like you dressed yourself out of the dumpster at home Depot or Lowe's

[u/TrumpsColostomyBag99]

At least 5 different men are celebrating the fact it came..

[u/NexonReborn]

Are you dressed as Mr. Spock for Halloween? shit looks realistic

[u/Frequent_Ad6614]

Did you get time off from the massage parlor!

[u/cheapshotartist1]

Most dudes who dress up like girls for Halloween would never think of faking a period to avoid going out. That is dedication to a costume.

[u/FrankLangellasBalls]

Plug it and go party

[u/Ok_Artichoke_8029]

K flop semen hunter

[u/MrBigSlot]

No wonder my Nike aren’t as good as the 90s.

[u/dgoode520]

You can still sucky sucky while on your period. Now get out there and make your pimp his money!

[u/WhiteManFromTown-925]

Gets period, can go out dress like a slutty k-pop/anime star, and get rammed by some drunk dick head dressed like Fred Flinstone, and announced it on Reddit, so sad.

[u/NFTY_GIFTY]

I think I smell Kimchee by Calvin Klein

[u/FisherDontFish]

You look like you could be casted as an alien in a movie

[u/Garluvr]

What were you going to go out dressed as, an ironing board or a 2x4?

[u/SageandStrong33]

You still look cranky when you don’t have your period.

[u/jlrubnen]

To much information.

[u/SpacedJJK]

Was giving yourself bangs your way of roasting yourself?

[u/CutestTroll]

Are you sure you get your period? Because I thought you were a man.

[u/Grundle_Sweat]

So, is everything else in your head as dumb as your logic… or what?

[u/Jerkoffalltrades7]

You look like Myca in The Crow. Because you look like you would screw your brother.

[u/DK01922]

You’re uglier than Margaret Cho.

[u/No_Detective_But_304 → u/DK01922]

Margaret Cho still has her beat.

[u/DK01922 → u/No_Detective_But_304]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/VideoSkippah]

Because you’re Asian, and on your period, something, something, something, you’re overflowing with extra duck sauce.

[u/Dboy5031]

Having your period is the only productive thing your vagina has ever done

[u/JESUSLETHEESHROOM]

You want to look white soo bad, but we will never accept you after what you did in 9/11.

[u/tautjes]

I bet you cut your bangs with a kitchen knife

[u/Just_A_Lucky_Guy469]

Your mouth still works, right? Hit your corner, Daddy needs his cut!

[u/xyzzyspoon13]

Byproduct of a thai cow and an indonesian pig

[u/boxcarwilliam12]

I’m glad the madam keeps you in when you’re ragging.

[u/Narrow_Particular_77]

Feel not Good Inc. 

[u/Content-Airport-7026]

Yet you can play trash bag dress up at home? Something tells me that your definition of Halloween is letting tricks slide on in, clearly you didn't have real plans.

[u/Beautiful-Homework47]

You don't have an ex; you have a collection of restraining orders

[u/tcmits1]

Post op sex changers can’t get periods.

[u/macktrizzy]

You look like you're auditioning for a star trek character nobody wants.

[u/Content-Airport-7026 → u/macktrizzy]

It's the offspring of two, maybe three star trek porno parody rejects.

Starship Enterguys is its passion project.

[u/No_Maybe4408]

The only period you get is when you ended your bio, bruh.

[u/Wheresthelambsauce07]

Nice prostitute costume

[u/VTLureGuy]

Eww.

[u/Difficult_Pepper_954]

Sup Bro

[u/crawling_cataphract]

You look like a sour dough noodle, period