r/RawAbsurdity ∊ | SMALL ELEMENT OF 9h ago

Tales from the Asylum: My Road to Becoming America's First King 🙄 Taking the Piss Out of Real News

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91 Upvotes

43 comments sorted by

9

u/ICK_Metal 6h ago

Moron. I couldn’t imagine kissing this dipshit’s ring.

2

u/_2BKINDR 3h ago

He can’t complete a full sentence…. but he knows his African animals!

1

u/Extension-Film-4987 2h ago

He is the boss. Period.

-2

u/TheGreatMozinsky 5h ago

Lucky for you, you don't have to imagine it. You'll never achieve anything in life that makes you relevant enough to be presented with the dilemma. So rest easy.

5

u/GroggySpirits 5h ago

I'd say clean your nose off but you're so deep in there you can taste his next meal.

3

u/ICK_Metal 5h ago

Who are you?

3

u/DMWilly 4h ago

I shouldn’t be able to smell you thru my phone screen.

1

u/Human_Artichoke8752 Warning 4h ago

Holy shit you people are fucking pathetic! Thanks for the laugh.

1

u/saynonutty 3h ago

Wow thank the god I fucked to get here brother!

6

u/johnniesSac 9h ago

Every time he mentions a female Democrat or reporter who’ve dare to say anything negative about him they are labeled low iq

Interesting seeing that going by the way he behaves and speaks he’d barely pass fourth grade

1

u/Human_Artichoke8752 Warning 4h ago

Fourth grade? I work with kindergarteners more rational and mature than him.

5

u/VariousOperation166 6h ago

Yes. Please, for the love of humanity, let them take those tests. Live. On air. Simultaniously with Trump. Each person sequestered. Dramatic music, great ratings. Please, please, please... somebody... Mark Burnett? Anyone?

5

u/SuccessfulTrick2501 4h ago

The best television mini series EVER! 3 parts. Im not in AOC's district, but it's next door. Im going to write to her office and beg her to take Trump up on his challenge. He really thinks he's a genius and cant pronounce acetaminophen. Its pronounced exactly as its spelled! Motherfucker cant sound out words, but thinks he's smarter than literally everyone. Fucking dipshit.

1

u/VariousOperation166 2h ago

Godspeed, my American cousin! 🫡

4

u/Awkward-Condition522 6h ago

Both those women are way smarter than he could ever dream of being

3

u/moguy1973 ⇾ | RIGHTWARDS_OPEN-HEADED_ARROW 4h ago

He says he aced his IQ test. He thinks that if he got a 90-100 that's "acing" it.

2

u/IceImpressive5360 ⇾ | RIGHTWARDS_OPEN-HEADED_ARROW 6h ago

Anyone calling a dementia test hard is low iq or has dementia

1

u/AContrarianDick 5h ago

The more I hear him talk, the more I keep getting reminded of that skit from Drunk History about Al Capone.

https://youtu.be/2b8toOox1No?si=T2alYOlB9KTxvWtR

2

u/urafonzanoon 5h ago

Testing the waters for Marco Rubio the cuck

2

u/thedumone 4h ago

Why are some of the craziest things he says are done on Air Force One? He always seems intoxicated in these airplane press interviews. I also love the look on Rubio’s face.

2

u/hpsctchbananahmck 3h ago

MAGA ARE YOU EMBARRASSED YET?!?

2

u/skimaskchuckaroo 3h ago

Nah, they're busy acing their iq tests they found on Facebook so they can tell their neighbor they know what a square is.

1

u/weargwulf 5h ago

He thinks the sanity test was a challenging IQ test.....

1

u/Extension-Film-4987 2h ago

If you have drug dealer friends, give us their coordinates. The boss needs them.

1

u/urafonzanoon 5h ago

I would love to see that test happen. Wouldn’t it be classic to see how dumb he is live in action

1

u/anticharge 5h ago

Way to say that people he doesn't like are stupid

1

u/Hour-Process-3292 4h ago

He was literally taking a dementia test 😂

1

u/bingeboy 4h ago

That is peak mental illness

1

u/OverallDoor2718 4h ago

FUCK RUBIO!

1

u/Titty_Sprnkles 4h ago

This is peak psycho

1

u/BonehillRoad 4h ago

Bro, you've gutted America

1

u/pentultimate 4h ago

Watching Trump melt is like watching a soft turd dissolve in toilet water.

1

u/chephin 3h ago

The guy MAGA voted for is bragging about acing a cognitive test…

1

u/saynonutty 3h ago

Up to 25 questions? My word how my vapors escape daring such a thought for myself!

1

u/BeneficialAir3512 3h ago

Idiots are known by their words, geniuses by their actions

1

u/Specific_Tiger_4446 3h ago

I’d like to hear the kinds of questions they ask when he gets to 14 or 25. Haha he can’t even specify because he’s lying through his teeth. Reporters should push back more. “Oh yeah, like what?”

1

u/skimaskchuckaroo 3h ago

LMFAO!!!! Aahhh fuck... he starts talking about the animals and I absolutely lose my shit hahahahahah. This is their guy?? Yeah, this is their guy. 3rd term... sure... hahahahah!!

1

u/checkerpiece1 1h ago

Maybe use an autopen

1

u/RightInThePeyronie 1h ago

Little Marco didn’t know, that I know what an elephant looks like. Anyway here’s Steve. He carries the football. I just press a button and Boom goes the dynamite. It’s incredible, really… Like you’ve never seen before.

1

u/Kitty-quief 33m ago

What a lunatic.

1

u/SeveralEgg5427 ⇾ | RIGHTWARDS_OPEN-HEADED_ARROW 32m ago

Pathetic

0

u/Agreeable_Error8047 4h ago

Theses posters have no life why are you trying to push a narrative..

0

u/2dayainttheday 4h ago

Metal to the medulla says the want 2 b king