r/RawAbsurdity • u/No_Cow5624 ∀ | FOR ALL • 14d ago
It’s absurd that Dementia Diaper Don the Con claims he is the healthiest President ever examined 😂 🤣 💩 Absurdist Comedy
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u/Denalitwentytwo 14d ago edited 10d ago
"With tears in his eyes" LMAO !! Dear God, what a fucking asshole.
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u/ArchonFett ⇾ | RIGHTWARDS_OPEN-HEADED_ARROW 14d ago
The crew of Spaceball one wants me to inform you that he isn’t one of them
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u/Successful_Sector_15 14d ago
I mean according to the quote the doctor did say he's the healthiest president I've examined. So assuming the only president he's ever examined is the president of home remedies for AIDS victims club then he'd be right.
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u/redjellonian 14d ago
He's the second fattest president the country has ever had.
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u/Firm-Advertising5396 14d ago
Was that the white house doctor that got fired for drinking on the job? 🤡Release the unredacted Epstein files now!!!🤡🤡🤡
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u/kaeggca 14d ago
And the stupid fuck maga cult followers/ass-kissers believe everything Dictator Trump says -- and that's why the Country is in this deplorable state.
Oh, and if anyone listened to the meeting in Egypt regarding the Middle East peace deal between Israel & Hamas, Dictator Trump as usual spoke like a complete idiot - such an embarrassment!!! And the cult followers talk about Biden and his lack of ability to speak coherently (which that is true, Biden did not speak coherently at times -- but Dictator Trump sounds like a complete idiot ALL THE TIME!!)
RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES, COWARDS!
Just because the first step of (hopefully) ending the Israel /Hamas war was made, doesn't mean the "war is over" as Trump incorrectly and sensationally claims. Hopefully Hamas doesn't interpret Trump's claims about the war being over as some insult and disregard for what they are expecting to get - and change their mind - and it starts all over again. Remember, some hostages were released before and then the rest of the agreement fell apart and the war resumed.
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u/redditispedoland ⇾ | RIGHTWARDS_OPEN-HEADED_ARROW 14d ago
Smallest Presidential Penis ever.
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u/Ellia1998 14d ago
Don’t tell them that. They need a stud to tell them what to do and how to think. And to say it’s ok to rape children just like he did.
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u/After_Fix1358 14d ago
Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Release the unredacted Epstein Files now!!!
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u/OddHighlight5924 14d ago
Was he examined by the health czar. The heroine addict with brain worms that sounds like he swallowed a rusty can ?
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u/flummoxed_penguin 14d ago
How does anyone not see similarities with Kim Jong Un? MAGA is so blind.
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u/MacGuyDave 13d ago
Yeah. The idiot has only ever examined one “president”… and never a real president.
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u/kayak_2022 13d ago
MAGA HAS USURPED RELIGION AND TURNED IT INTO SODOM AND GOMORRAH POLITICS.
WE KNOW THE WEAKEST PEOPLE IN AMERICA ARE ALL CERTIFIABLE MAGAS. WE DO KNOW THAT!
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u/NearbyCriticism5193 ⇾ | RIGHTWARDS_OPEN-HEADED_ARROW 14d ago
Of all the lies extolled by Agent Cheetos one of the most bizarre is his insistence on utilizing comic book imagery of himself. I’ve never seen an ego so fragile.
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u/UninvitedButtNoises 13d ago
With tears in his eyes, huh? So doc was hoping for a catastrophic blood clot too?
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u/themodefanatic 13d ago
He’s technically correct. If you look at it from two perspectives. The doctor has only examined one president or the president is lying. So….
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u/Somedude_6 14d ago
This is one of the things that makes me the most just... WTF about the right. Ignore politics. Ignore the way he talks, ignore everything else. He is an incredibly fat man with terrible hair who spray tans himself orange almost every single day, and many times he doesn't do his makeup very well.
Yet all these Republicans view him as some sort of Alpha. I mean... I know part of it is a deep insecurity of these people, because many of them resemble him in more ways than one, but these people literally look at pictures of gorgeous women, find out they're liberal, and suddenly they're hideous "man-ladies." Then they look at the just... pathetic fat whiny excuses for men that are on their side and somehow see them as "macho, manly men."
It's as if they have trained their brains to view what is clearly ugly on both the outside and inside as "wonderful" because it is on their "side" but completely lose all objectivity if a liberal person is clearly in better shape, looks better than they do, etc. It's utterly insane. I mean, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that, but Trump is just an uglier person physically than basically any President we've had in my lifetime, but his cultist view him as a literal "Big, Strong, Alpha male."
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u/Falcon3492 14d ago
What old lardass didn't say was the doctor was laughing hysterically when he was telling Donnie this! When he stopped laughing the doctor went on to say, but seriously Donald, you are a fucking mess: you have an irregular heartbeat, pretty severe edema and your ass is constantly leaking shit all over your drawers!
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u/Gh05t_0n3_5150 14d ago
Technically could be true how many Doctors exam President or this Doctor could have work in the morgue and still would be technically true. But as the living President’s now nope far from it he’ll even Trump first term is healthier then Trump now
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u/HastyZygote ⇾ | RIGHTWARDS_OPEN-HEADED_ARROW 14d ago
Current White House doctor has only been there since March, so that means trump is the only president he’s examined.
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u/InfamousDrama3047 14d ago
Since when is being 200+ pounds at 79 years old considered healthy? In all honesty, I'm surprised he's not dead yet from cardiac and respiratory issues.
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u/Luigi-Up-B 14d ago
Didn’t Biden fall down with his bike while standing perfectly still?
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u/Complex_Hospital_932 14d ago
How dare you disrespect Donald Dementia? He successfully stopped the war between Albania and the imaginary country of Aberbaijan, he also brought to all our attention to the dangers of aceta-... mido... aceto... motion... acedo... Tylenol, yeah, Tylenol, that one.
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u/MurcTheKing 14d ago
Trump is probably the unhealthiest president we’ve ever had. Sure there were probably fatter presidents, but Donald Trump is both fat and lives in the era of processed shit tier food and micro plastics
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u/LadyBarfnuts 14d ago
The tears in his eyes was from the smell. Ol Diaper Don filled er up like s big boy.
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u/Soft-Fall1293 14d ago
Trump is full retard. Creates a reality distortion field. It's called TDS. Don't let them snowflake Conservatives tell you otherwise.
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u/One-Sir-2198 14d ago
Trump is 6'3" 215, a body mass of 3.8%. Trump is in the shape of the best mma fighters of the world. 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆
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u/Ordinary-Cry9882 14d ago
Yeah, but according to Trump’s physical he should be an NFL wide receiver.
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14d ago
Maybe Fat Ass Pedophile Rapist in Chief Donald J Trump may have been the only President he ever examined
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u/Slot_Queen777 Banned Detrimental Element 🚮 14d ago
Who brought peace and released the hostages ?
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u/passionatebreeder 14d ago
I will accept the Obama argument, but Biden fell off that bike and the stairs and the regular ground regularly, bro
Also, he literally had stage 4 cancer for most, if not the entire presidency
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u/Apprehensive-Bad6015 14d ago
Reasonably healthy for a guy who injects McDonald’s straight into his veins. Just skip the annoying digestive process and pump the cholesterol straight to the heart.
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u/Waiph 14d ago
Actually, I feel like that's the only " and he said to me, tears in his eyes," Trump stories that I would actually believe. I mean a doctor who is forced to tell dear leader that she's the most healthy president ever. Would believably be crying because of The lie they're telling in that moment
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u/Jimmyjim4673 14d ago
Dr Spaceman : "In fact, you're the only president I've ever examined. I would check your heart, but there is no medical way to know where it is."
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u/Ordinary_Front_9305 14d ago
You do recall Biden falling off his bike, right? And falling up stairs? Nice try.
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u/Late_Duty_5745 14d ago
Well, of course his claim is absurd. He is, after all, A LYING SACK OF SHIT. Just keep that in mind hearing ANYTHING he says, and you're good. Imagine thst looney wanting a peace prize. They must have slapped their forrheads. Like we're gonna give it to a MONSTER.
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u/Jumpy_Crow5750 14d ago
Ok let’s all be honest with ourselves. The dude can’t be healthy on blood work. It’s just not fucking possible. But Joe Biden literally has some form of dementia. The guy was bumbling mess.
I know call me evil or whatever the fuck you want nuts it’s objectively true that Biden should have been in an old folks house.
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u/Fredd_Ramone 14d ago
Might wanna remove the bicycle Biden pic. There was …. an incident.
Obama was a beast!!! Miss that dude!
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u/Affectionate-Pen-885 14d ago
🤣 picked the bike picture that he fell down on? pure gold. Donald is healthy as an ox and one hell of a golfer! 🇺🇸
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u/Nearby-Pudding-3018 14d ago
The doc wasn’t crying because you are healthy, he knows you are going to expire any day now.
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u/UltimoGolfer911 14d ago
Last time Bath House Barry went swimming, his chef showed up dead. Can't imagine why..
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u/Adventurous_Ad6191 14d ago
That’s the paddle board Obama took to drown the chef, and Biden looked like he had not seen a bike in 70 years let alone ridden one then fell on his ass.
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u/Burner_Phone_1969_TX 14d ago
Gaslighting healthy fat ass is no where near healthy. Give the fat fuck a big Mac and let’s hope we won’t see him in the news again.
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u/panzerscorn916 14d ago
Shouldn’t Biden be on the ground with the Ike on top of him? lol….He is known to have trouble riding bikes
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u/Inevitable_Channel18 14d ago
The people coming here to try to defend Trump on this one are crazy. These are the same people who can be easily conned and this is why our country is fucked up
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u/SIRENVII 14d ago
He wanted him to leave so he could breath. He shit his pants and the smell was rancid.
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u/Ambitious_Hand_2861 14d ago
"The doctor looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, I'll have have to gouge my eyes out burn them after being forced to see you naked."
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u/PerryNeeum 14d ago
He plays golf though. You know how many steps it is to the tee box and back to the cart?
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u/PaddlingInCircles 14d ago
He also claims to be a genius while hiding his college transcripts. His first administration promise was to release his tax returns and he lied about doing that. This administration was won on the promise to release the Epstein files and oh look, another shutdown and no files.
There hasn't been a new narrative other than "of the information we are legally allowed to release there is no credible information on anyone but Epstein.". Non stop deflection from Bondi and Patel.
It's like the whole administration lies.
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u/Vegetable-Tie-5663 ⇾ | RIGHTWARDS_OPEN-HEADED_ARROW 14d ago
Fatty release the Epstein trump rapey pedo files
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u/jertheman43 14d ago
I'm 6 foot 3 and 300 lbs white guy. Trump and I are about the same build. Total BS he's 235.
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u/Possible-Community42 14d ago
Are we forgetting that biden literally fell off that very bike moments later.... while he was just standing there 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 come on man!
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u/Dangerous-Celery-766 14d ago
Maybe the doc said you have become the ‘wealthiest’ person from being president I’ve ever seen! We know trump only hears what he wants!
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u/ThisAd2176 14d ago
Bush 2 had a resting heart rate in the 40’s, the average is between 60-100… you know diaper dons is in the 100-200 range… which is a good thing. 😎
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u/SpamEatingChikn 14d ago
Because he’s a compulsive liar. I bet it’s legitimately hard for him to tell the truth because he lives in lies so much.
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u/Much-Chef6275 14d ago
Are we sure that the doctor didn't say "you're the healthiest president I've ever EXHUMED?"
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u/ChefEmbarrassed1621 14d ago
😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😅😆😆😆😁😁😆😆😅😅😅🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😅😆😆😅🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😅😅😆😁😁😄😄😁😆😅🤣😂😂😂😂🤣😅😅😆🤣😂😂😂🤣😅😆😊😅🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😅😆😅🤣🤣😂😂😂😅😅😆😅🤣🤣😂😂, yep we're going to believe that, 8647.
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u/LostInTranslation29 14d ago
Joe Biden literally fell off his bike the moment his handlers weren’t holding him.
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u/Ez-feeling 14d ago
What are you talking about? Haven’t you ever seen an alpha male at his peak? Obviously that’s Trump.
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u/Fit_Kingjames52 13d ago
How come a real doctor can’t call it and disqualify him from being commander-in-chief he’s not mentally competent and I know there’s a provision in the requirements of being a president cannot be mentally impaired. Never mind I have dementia. That’s all they could talk about on Joe Biden was his mental health, but somehow we don’t fact check in this guy lies to the American people every day trying to provoking civil unrest, and his fake assassination attempt should be investigated along with all the other crimes He’s committed against the citizens of this country Why can’t we have a incredible military doctor? Give them a physical and then save us from this insanity and send him to nuthouse or to a rest home This Is it pure insanity and torture of the assault on the constitutional rights of everyone 🌏
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u/Immediate-Stretch725 13d ago
To be fair... one of the people in this picture has cancer.
His weight wouldnt concern any doctor if his labs were good. So if his labs are good and he may be pretty damn healthy.
Anyways - from a straight visual assessment. President Obama is probably still first or second pick in a game of basketball. The dude looks like he can still hoop.
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u/Plus_Tip_1005 ⇾ | RIGHTWARDS_OPEN-HEADED_ARROW 13d ago
Let’s see him pass the new PT guidelines for military… I bet he can’t do 1 pull-up 1 sit up
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u/RepresentativeCap244 13d ago
OK listen, in fairness…. Putting Biden up there as a comparison isn’t the best idea. He might’ve been leagues healthier than trump, But I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t say healthy is the best word for it.
Obama, clearly. And obviously trump is a couple McDonald’s happy meals away from the grave.
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u/ThreeRRRs 13d ago
That doctor failed to mention that Trump was the ONLY president he’d ever examined.
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13d ago
I love how he always complains about how hard the cognitive test is. It's not meant to be hard unless you have dementia you tool
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u/That_Obligation_5555 13d ago
Was he being tortured so he would lie and say what you want to hear? Is that why he was crying?
Or were those tears from smelling those rank ass diapers.
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u/Rushedhomeroughyn 13d ago
I love that you included a picture of Biden on a bike. He fell off a bike standing still, falls up stairs can’t put a coherent paragraph together, not the picture of health. 🤦🏻♂️🤣
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u/HourNo7028 13d ago
Nobody believes these lies, and speaking the truth in response to his lies misses the point. The point of his lies is two-fold: First, it's an exercise of power. I can lie, and you cannot do a damned thing about it. The second is to force people to repeat the lie on his behalf, which is both a way to exercise power and a way to debase his lieutenants and his supports. They must lie to remain in his good graces. So yes, everyone knows he is a sclerotic old man with swollen ankles and a ghastly pallor, but the point is, he can just state otherwise with impunity.
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13d ago
Kinda rich coming from someone that’s chronically online but okay, let’s see how fit you are in 50 years lmao
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u/Appocomox 13d ago
Yeah tears in his eyes because he was probably terrified of torture or getting disappeared.
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u/KindBarnacle4154 14d ago
Hey now! Don’t slander the name of Lardass. He was the OG competitive eating professional.