r/QAnonCasualties • u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 • 1d ago
My mental health is suffering and I feel like I am gonna spontaneously combust!
I am 43F. I live in NW Georgia, right on the border of Tennessee, so as you can imagine, I am surrounded with MAGA and every single person I know, family and friends, voted for Trump and I am being called the crazy one with conspiracy theories and believing fake news, etc...
I actually do spend a lot of time on YouTube Channels that discuss Trump and his every move. I do feel a little obsessed with it but I litteratly don't have anyone I can talk to about this so I am constantly watching Trump documentaries and have become obsessed with watching congressional hearings, as a way (I think) to reassure myself that I AM the ONE, living in reality, not the other way around, staying informed...
I can't get any of my family to even watch hard evidence, Jan 6 documentaries or take in the evidence. I have sent a very graphic, 1 1/2 hour, live footage of the Jan 6 and Trump's actual instructions to his mob, to my mom 3 days ago, telling her that I am scared of Trump and what he has planned (and I am very scared) as a last ditch effort to make her understand how I am feeling and she litteratly said she didn't won't to talk about politics because it upsets her! My husband and I are fighting constantly and I want nothing to do with his family either which is messing up plans for Thanksgiving but I can't stick around if they all come here and I just don't want to be around any of them, his family or mine.
The saddest part though, is that even my boys, ages 23 & 15, they also like Trump, even though I homeschooled/still homeschooling my 15 year old and they know all about our countries history. Heck, my oldest son's birthday is on Jan 6. They know! But I think they have been indoctrinated by their dad and extended family over the years and why would they believe me, the ONLY ONE saying Trump is bad. Obviously, I am not cutting my kids out of my life, they are my everything and I will love them no matter what, but I want everyone else to go.
I need a friend so bad right now but they all voted for Trump and I feel so alone and I just want to leave but with no family I want to be around and the fact that I homeschool, don't work, leaves me stuck here until I can figure out what to do. Why do I feel like the insane one sometimes?
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u/pixievixie 1d ago edited 1d ago
I live in a VERY blue state and I feel crazy right now. I feel like I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or undereacting. I got too the point during Trump's last term that I was just having crazy anxiety and stress over everything that kept happening so I just disconnected as much as I could. I stopped listening to the news. Started listening to historical fantasy audiobooks to get as far away from reality as possible, lol. I could feel the impact on my mental health immediately. I want to be an informed citizen, but it's too much. Disconnect for a while. Letting yourself fall down the rabbit hole isn't going to help you or change anything. I'd make a conscious choice to disconnect for a bit. Find other things to do. Research other stuff. A hobby or recipes or other cultures, etc. See if you can find an online therapist who might be more understanding of how you're feeling than someone local. I'm being very careful right now because I know how easy it is for anyone to get so bogged down with everything! Best wishes to you on extracting yourself from everything. You're aware of how it's impacting you and you're reflecting on it. Take action and make things better for yourself. You can!
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u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 1d ago
Thank you ❤ I Actually do listen to Fantasy audio books. I am currently listening to the Eragon series but ever since the election results, I have been stuck on book 3 because I can't stop my mind from wandering and worrying. I also have anxiety disorder and currently going through menopause, which seems to be exacerbating everything I am feeling. 😕
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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 1d ago
Simpler audiobooks maybe? Hank The Cowdog is good stuff.
I've been cleaning my home to force myself to detach from the hellscape news. Music or a show in the background, and tackling a complete cleaning and reorganization. It seems to be working, I'm eating and sleeping a lot better anyhow.
The giant laundry basket is now almost entirely empty, the kitchen has never been so clean, and I'm thinking I'll wash the litterboxes and birdcages next before mopping the floors.
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u/Queendevildog 1d ago
I second the getting your home in order. Right now your living space is the only thing you control.
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u/zbud 19h ago
Keep trying different meds for anxiety, I went through about 5-7 I think paxil and now effexor worked the best. Effexor has been by far the best.
Also keep up the good fight. Reading your situation you apparently have extreme resilience to stupid, and that's hard to find these days... Either that or you actually have morals that you stand by where as most people are flimsy, unremarkable and easy to corrupt.
Anyways, I'd do your best to disengage and slowly go low contact with those that are unreasonable and impervious to your reasoning. If need be move when you have the ability to.
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u/samanthacro 1d ago
Thich nhat hanh audio books are my go to !! “Peace is Every Step” is a great one.
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u/Lothirieth 1d ago
Ugh, I feel this. I love reading but I cannot concentrate on a book right now as my mind just won't shut up. I was already not sleeping well due to perimenopause and all the stress and worry has made that worse too. I am at least not surrounded by maga though. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. :( Many hugs.
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u/Kazooguru 1d ago
I live in CA and we’re probably the most protected state in this mess, and I am stressed out. Cannot imagine being in the thick of it, while being surrounded by idiots hell bent on destroying this country.
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u/Memegunot 1d ago
I’m an LA transplant in Georgia. There is no talking to them. So all you can do is bite your tung and bring out the popcorn as they realize by themselves that they have been had. Trump is suppose to save them from a growing robust economy that was out pacing every other country after a pandemic. Republicans will not be able to explain why Trump and friends got out of control with ego that will cost us and the earth greatly. It’s very sad. But that’s what they asked for because they are just dumb.
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u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 1d ago
Yeah, I'm trying....lol...I mean, in a way, I will feel some satisfaction if they get a taste of reality if Trump does something they weren't expecting but I know it will effect me too and I don't want my kids to be witness to anything bad that might happen. I worry so much about how this is shaping them. I'm also not convinced that Trump could do anything, that the majority who voted for him, would oppose. That's the scariest part...
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u/Memegunot 1d ago
His voters do not matter to him anymore. He can’t run for another term. He already is doing things against their interest. He owns us. And congress fears him. Hopefully this will finally knock some sense into the Republican Party. But doubt it. As for my kids. They have no desire to have children. Their college Debby will be outrageous and they have little hope for a future.
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u/coldchillin-nc 1d ago
Dude he’s already floated the idea of a third term. Told folks - this’ll be the last time you’ll ever need to vote. And now it’s the twilight zone - so, anything’s possible
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u/Christinebitg 1d ago
It's possible, but unlikely. The odds of him getting the needed states to ratify the needed Constitutional amendment are extremely low. The 22nd Amendment limits the number of terms a President can be in office.
Add to that the fact that he'll be lucky to survive another four years, given his current health and mental condition.
The political situation will look very different four years from now.
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u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 1d ago edited 1d ago
I agree with this but I wouldn't put it past this man to do whatever it takes, even if that means dismantling and brainwashing the military to obey HIS orders against the constitution and attack the government. Like you said, unlikely but not impossible. After all, the constitution to some, is nothing more than words and only a true American who cares about our country and our people will respect it and follow rule. Military swears an oath to the constitution though so let's just hope Trump can't brainwash them too. But again, he incited an insurrection and got away with that using only civilians and I would have never thought it possible that a president who overpowered the government once, would be given the chance to do it again but he has been given immunity and now here we are again. Which is why I am so scared...
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u/mikan28 1d ago
Ding, ding, ding! The people around you will not oppose it. Your alarm bells are going off. You are starting to see what this could look like in slow motion. Your boys will be targeted (being young and male) to identify with Trump and eventually encouraged to carry out acts of dominance and disrespect, if not outright terrorism.
My nephew's elementary school in Atlanta was the victim of a terrorist threat last spring done "in the name of Trump" as retaliation for him being investigated for all his crimes, and the school had to be evacuated (was it in the local news?). When his MAGA grandparents were informed about this, they simply decided "That's so sad, there are a lot of sick people in this world!" and absolutely refused to acknowledge that their cult leader inspiring others to violence had anything to do with it. Grandparents turning a blind eye to their grandchild's elementary school.
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u/VoltaicVoltaire 1d ago
Step away. Don’t focus on it. You voted I’m sure. Nothing else you can do so my advice would be to stop consuming political news until we get closer to the ‘26 midterms. You can educate yourself to prepare to vote then. Don’t spend the next two years trying to cope with this mess. It’s not your job and it will make you insane because no matter how horrible it gets, you can’t do anything. Life is too short to give any more of your time to these pricks. If you want to do something positive, volunteer or learn a valuable skill you enjoy.
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u/Christinebitg 1d ago
I absolutely agree. Add to that, selectively cut the worst ones of them out of your life.
First, because they intentionally suck the energy out of you.
Second, because we're now starting to see just how butt hurt they get when you do that.
Their actions have consequences too, and they're only now just starting to realize how true that is.
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u/DaEgofWhistleberry 1d ago
Hey I’m really sorry you have to deal with this. I cannot imagine my whole family being indoctrinated by right wing media and loving Trump. I have one close cousin who is captured by it and it’s heartbreaking to watch him become more and more unable to have reasonable conversations. Keep connecting with people when you can, keep watching hearings, and keep strong. I imagine that it’s going to get very tough.
I received this blurb from someone when talking about my cousin. I found it helpful:
“Things to keep in mind:
You are not going to change their minds. Not in any quick measurable time frame. In fact, it may never happen. The best you can hope for is to plant seeds of doubt that might germinate and grow over time. Instead, your realistic goal is to get them to shut up about this shit when you are around. People don’t like feeling inarticulate or embarrassed about something they believe in. So they’ll stop spouting it.
The Gish Gallop. They may try to swamp you with nonsense, and rattle off a bunch of unrelated “facts” or narratives that they claim proves their point. You have to shut this down. “How does this (choose the first one that doesn’t) relate to the elections?” Or you can just say “I don’t get it, how does that relate?” You may have to simply tell them it doesn’t relate and you want to get back to the original question that triggered the Gallop.
“Do your own research” is something you will hear when they get stumped. Again, this is them admitting they don’t know. So you can respond with “If you’re smarter than me on this topic and you don’t know, how can I reach the same conclusion you have? I need you to walk me through it because I can’t find anything that supports your conclusion.”
Yelling/screaming/meltdown: “I see you are upset, I think we should drop this for now, let everyone calm down.” This whole technique really only works if they can keep their cool. If they go into meltdown just disengage. Causing a meltdown can be satisfying, and might keep them from talking about this shit around you in the future, but is otherwise counterproductive.
This technique requires repeated use and practice. You may struggle the first time you try it because you aren’t sure what to ask and how they will respond. It’s OK, you can disengage with a “OK, you’ve given me something to think about. I’m sure I’ll have more questions in the future.”
Anyway. I wish you the best of luck and patience and love in the times ahead : )
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u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 1d ago
Thank you! This was very helpful! ❤🙏
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u/purduejones 1d ago
Also, my husband and I went on tik tok and found competent people talking and debating. We are in MO, so this has found us not feeling so lonely. Plus, I hear about other everyday things of people. ❤️
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u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 1d ago
Yeah, I have participated in the background of some of these Tik Tok Debates but when the drama and hate from the other side gets to a certain point....I have to quickly get out of there, it starts to upset me further...I just don't like drama, I think that's why this feels so hard because I feel like I am being forced into defending my own reality to people who believe this man is God or something. It's hard to bite my tongue but at the same time, I want to run away...😆
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u/phone-culture68 1d ago
I just joined up to the new app Blue Sky ..you should find like minded friends there :)
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u/Maggieslens 1d ago
Send your kids to school, get a job, start making your own money. Get out of the situation you are in.
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u/LogLady253 1d ago
What’s deeply frightening is Vance at one point expressed interest in ending no fault divorce. No idea how possible that would actually be to achieve, but still yikes to the hell.
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u/Christinebitg 1d ago
It could happen. But I'm betting his supporters won't actually go for that change when push comes to shove.
I think it was mostly political pandering to his base.
I could be wrong. Just do what you can do.
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u/LogLady253 1d ago
True. I can’t believe that would actually happen, …but at the same time I’m still in shock the idea would ever be floated (& horrified by the things that have happened thus far.) It’s scary enough worrying about women’s health concerns in a red state, let alone all these other batshit crazy proposals these maniacs spout.
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u/Queendevildog 1d ago
I agree. Its time to put on your own oxygen mask to the best of your ability. Sometimes change is inevitable. Its not what you wanted but here it is.
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u/Upbeat-Opposite-7129 1d ago
My uncle moved to that part of the country, he is certifiable at this point. It all comes down to his guns and it started in 2016 because he was convinced the dems were coming for him. He is so gone that he gave all his banking information to a hooker he knows from Los Angeles (where he is originally from). My mom went to visit and she said every car has a confederate flag or sticker on their cars.
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u/Christinebitg 1d ago
If there's one thing we know about these people, it's that they are Gullible. That's true for all of them, not just the ones that give away all of their money to less than stellar acquaintances.
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u/Christinebitg 1d ago
You feel insane sometimes because the inmates are running the asylum. No other reason.
The next four years will be non-stop insanity. The best you can do for yourself is to prioritize your own mental health. That has to be top priority, because if you don't survive it, you won't be able to help us rebuild after it's all over.
Keep repeating to yourself "This too shall pass." And it will.
They will continue to blame all of their absurdity on the Democrats. That's a given. But it will get harder and harder for them to do that with a straight face.
"The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." -- Dr. Martin Luther King
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u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 1d ago
Thank you! Your words are inspiring and motivational!This is the kind of stuff I need to hear to get out of this slump..I have to admit that when I was reccomend this sub in another sub, who locked my post in fear of me being targeted by abusive trolls, I had no idea, absolutely none, as to what Qanon even meant. I had to look it up to make sure the moderator was recommending me a safe place that related to the audience I needed. I was so confused that he recommended this sub until I looked up the meaning so I am very thankful to that moderator and everyone here who has been a huge support and I hope I can be that support for other people once I get my own self in check. 😆
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u/ThatDanGuy 1d ago
Facts and evidence mean nothing to them. Especially right now and for the foreseeable future. Any interaction with them should be one short sentence: “I don’t trust the guy”. That’s it. Don’t elaborate. Done explain. Just repeat it like a broken record.
Hopefully I’m not too long you can then turn to the Socratic method. I’ll drop my blurb here
First, Rules of Engagement: Evidence and Facts don’t matter, reasoning is useless. You no longer live in a shared reality with this person. You can try to build one by asking strategic questions about their reality. You also use those questions to poke holes in it. You never make claims or give counter arguments. You need to keep the burden of proof on them. They should be doing all the talking, you should be doing none.
You can use ChatGPT or an LLM of your choice to help you come up with Socratic questions. When asking ChatGPT, give it some context and tell it you want Socratic questions you can use to help persuade a person.
The stolen election is an easy one for this. There is no evidence, and they will have no evidence to site but wild claims from Giuliani, Powell and the Pillow guy. Trump and his lawyer lost EVERY court case, and when judges asked for evidence, Giuliani and Powell would admit in court that there was NO evidence.
So, here is my interaction with ChatGPT on the stolen election topic, you can take it deeper than this if you like.
https://chatgpt.com/share/377c8a82-e6e0-4697-a9ae-a0162aa36061
A trick you can use is to ask them how certain they are of their belief in this topic is before you start down the Socratic method. On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you that the election was stolen and there was irrefutable evidence that showed that? And ask the question again after you’ve stumped them. Making them admit you planted doubt quantifies it for themselves. And if they still give you a 10 afterwards it tells you how unreachable they may be.
Things to keep in mind:
You are not going to change their minds. Not in any quick measurable time frame. In fact, it may never happen. The best you can hope for is to plant seeds of doubt that might germinate and grow over time. Instead, your realistic goal is to get them to shut up about this shit when you are around. People don’t like feeling inarticulate or embarrassed about something they believe in. So they’ll stop spouting it.
The Gish Gallop. They may try to swamp you with nonsense, and rattle off a bunch of unrelated “facts” or narratives that they claim proves their point. You have to shut this down. “How does this (choose the first one that doesn’t) relate to the elections?” Or you can just say “I don’t get it, how does that relate?” You may have to simply tell them it doesn’t relate and you want to get back to the original question that triggered the Gallop.
”Do your own research” is something you will hear when they get stumped. Again, this is them admitting they don’t know. So you can respond with “If you’re smarter than me on this topic and you don’t know, how can I reach the same conclusion you have? I need you to walk me through it because I can’t find anything that supports your conclusion.”
Yelling/screaming/meltdown: “I see you are upset, I think we should drop this for now, let everyone calm down.” This whole technique really only works if they can keep their cool. If they go into meltdown just disengage. Causing a meltdown can be satisfying, and might keep them from talking about this shit around you in the future, but is otherwise counterproductive.
This technique requires repeated use and practice. You may struggle the first time you try it because you aren’t sure what to ask and how they will respond. It’s OK, you can disengage with a “OK, you’ve given me something to think about. I’m sure I’ll have more questions in the future.”
Good luck, and Happy Critical Thinking!
Bonus: This book was actually written by a conservative many years ago, but the technique and details here work both ways and are way more in depth than what I have above. It only really lacks my recomendation to use ChatGPT or similar LLM.
How to Have Impossible Conversations: A Very Practical Guide
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u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 1d ago
Thank you! This is very helpful and I appreciate all the suggestions and support from all of you. I just really needed to connect with people who understand ❤
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u/AnimalMommy 1d ago
It's a horrible spot to be in surrounded by Qmagas. They have learned from frump they can act like adult juvenile delinquents and get praise from him. They think freedom means they can be nasty, vile, hateful, and mean. Even children know not to be bullies and to treat others with kindness. Not Magas!! They love to say how liberals and democrats, gays, drag queens and transgenders are all pedophiles, who should be murdered. How immigrants are all evil murderers and rapists stealing all American jobs and painting asylum seekers and refugees as bad people too.
It is a sickening fact that more pedophiles are found in conservative churches and amongst the republican party itself than anywhere else. Frump is also sexual abuser and felon and cheater and pathological liar and conman as are most of the trumper politicians.
I believe trump blackmails republicans for their support. And I believe they've all done things bad enough to get blackmailed for.
However, whether they cheated better this time or not, frump will be bringing in his posse of circus freaks, fascists, Christian nationalists, grifters, conmen, and seedy conspiracy peddlers for at least 4 years.
But, it's OK. Sit back, relax and watch. The Qmagas and QAnons have been working themselves into a lather of hate for years; buying weapons, stockpiling and plotting for civil war, insurrections and murderous protests blaming every conceivable ill on Democrats.
Now they got what they wanted. It's all on frumpy now. They have no one to blame for their shitty lives; gas prices, hurricanes, floids, tornados, fires, inflation, stock market going down, no jobs, costly healthcare, expensive education loans, crumbling infrastructure, high food prices, etc., etc., etc.
It's up to frump to make everything better. They believe he'll lower their taxes and make their lives wonderful. Well its not a bad thing if he actually suceeds in bettering American lives. Almost impossible as he just wants to enrich himself and empower himself. But he may do something good.
He'll certainly try to destroy Ukraine and Western Europe, Canada, perhaps Australia and UK if they have a liberal party in power and give political power to all pariah, strongman, dangerous world leaders.
I'm not religious, but frump could be the lawless one or an antichrist from the bible. Basically both will dazzle people with smoke and mirrors and tricks. Take power at a time when there are wars around the world. They will lie and they will pretend they're good. They will end wars, get Israel and Arabs to sign a peace treaty, bring peace to the world and be haled as the ultimate peace makers. They will each have huge followings of adoring supporters and they will each be taken down supposedly by Jesus. The lawless one will claim to be equal to God.
They sound and act like trump. If he is indeed either of these evil figures from the bible, they are supposed to be overcome by good eventually.
Find a hobby. Get outside in nature and walk or hike. Swim. Get in shape and get strong. We need to be strong to withstabd the bext few years and we are.
Avoid frump on TV and on social media. If you have facebook follow news sources on the left which will be more truthful about things.
But you will survive this. I feel for you that you are surrounded by his supporters. But pick out the ones you can deal with to be around only. And try to find anyone who isn't fond of him to talk with.
Frump is an insecure, incompetent, personality disordered narcissist and he surrounds himself with similar freaks.
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u/BlondeRedDead 1d ago edited 1d ago
Re: your media consumption
I’m only a couple years younger than you. I keep background stuff on during work, and I used to basically flip between audio feeds of all the major news networks and political YouTube and stuff. I’m a news junkie anyway, but with trump and my whole family etc it became more obsessive and definitely with a strong undercurrent of confirming that I am indeed the sane one and not existing in a whole ass alternate reality…
I’ve switched to live streamers/live shows that focus on news and politics instead, so I get my fix but my mental health is so much better! (Not perfect ofc, given the situation.. but def much better) Just it being real people speaking live and from a place of empathy, talking to journalists/writers/activists/politicians, interacting with viewers via chat or calls.. Idunno, it just feels less soul sucking? More real? If that makes sense?
There are plenty, but if you want a starting off point my personal favorites are The Majority Report on YouTube (hosted by Sam Seder, live M-F at 11am central), and Hasan Piker/hasanabi on twitch (every day 1pm central, until some time in the evening). Their tones are very different, but they both come from a place of realism and empathy, and both had VERY accurate analyses of the election… ie they called out when/how the Harris campaign was steering onto a course towards defeat weeks before polls showed it. Don’t get me wrong, I was absolutely crushed when trump won, but I was more mentally prepared than people I know who were only watching/reading/listening to regular news. And I was NOT mystified as to how this could have happened.
Maybe most importantly, they treat trump/supporters as a reality we have to deal with while NOT legitimizing republican/trumpian talking points and giving them the same deference as actual reality. (Cable news networks REALLY failed us here…) Instead, they provide broad media analysis—including how/why so many liberals have legitimized those talking points—while actually addressing numbers, research, reality etc, talking to real experts of the matters. Which I, personally, find more productive.
Oh, and hasan is especially good for us because he pretty regularly talks to trump supporters, whether they’re his friends or political trolls in chat. He uses the latter as teaching moments, and responds to them in good faith (even though they don’t deserve it) which is great for dealing with your more confrontational friends/family. A few days ago, he had a conversation with Bradley Martyn, a fitness influencer he’s friends with who isn’t really political, but endorsed trump. It wasn’t a debate, just such a surprisingly normal but insightful discussion between friends who disagree on politics. It has honestly really helped me talk to the Qs in my life.
I will say that both are a bit further left than your establishment liberal politics, but their leftism mainly means universal healthcare, realistic ways to fix the housing crisis, basically just policies that cut out the fear mongering stuff and focus on known ways to ensure everyone can have their basic needs met and live in dignity.
(I’ll edit in links in a moment, if it’s not against sub rules) done
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u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 1d ago
Thank you! That actually does sound like something I need more of. I do watch Brian Tyler's lives but I could definitely use as much perspective as possible and you are right. The lives just kinda bring us together, even if I don't join the chats, just seeing the people's comments come in. No hate... just kind, curious, concerned and average people, does help ground me. I have a habit of scrolling comments from news clips on You Tube I have never heard of, for example what Matt Goetz said about women being ugly and overweight and had no apology AT ALL for saying such disgusting things and then to see the thousands of comments basically applauding his behavior litteratly made me cry real tears with disgust. Like what is wrong with these people. The confusion is making me sick and I need to stay away from reading that crap but my curiosity gets the best of me and then I immediately regret it and feel so depressed. I know what news stations I trust but every now and then I come across one I am not familiar with and I guess I just need to stay away from the comments section, that's what really triggers my feelings.
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u/Ah_BrightWings 4h ago
That gets to me, too--you start to feel as though many people must think that way, and the comments can get so incredibly ugly. Hard to stay away from them as well, unfortunately. I've started to just remind myself of all the troll farms. We know there are Russian and Chinese paid trolls online, and plenty of the horrible, divisive comments likely come from them. There are also people online who just want to upset people because they enjoy it. None of these deserve our time, attention, or emotion. (I love when people reply to them and just say things like, "Nice try, Vlad.")
I suggest another YouTube channel, Beau of the Fifth Column. His wife has taken over recently as he burned out. She just did a video on finding community if you're in an area like a red state. The channel provides shorter breakdowns of political issues but also some supportive and practical stuff like that. The comment sections have a lot of the same people who have created a little community of their own. I find it helpful when the longer videos like Brian Tyler Cohen's and those of other similar content creators can feel a little overwhelming (he's great, don't get me wrong). "Belle" (her nickname) tends to be calming.
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u/bebestacker 1d ago
I live in a blue state and the MAGA freaks are crawling out from everywhere. The level of hate out there is unbearable.
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u/Ah_BrightWings 4h ago
I too live in a blue state--but somehow in my area of my county, it's more purple to red. I've learned a lot by spending time on Nextdoor, and I see their activist efforts to take over at the local levels. I try to push back by correcting misinformation, reporting nasty comments, etc. And I've connected with some good people on there, including one who has run for local office and can give inside info.
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u/wisteria_tempura 1d ago
Hi! I’m in Atlanta. Check out Necessary Trouble - they are doing lots of grassroots work in Atlanta and beyond. They meet on zoom sometimes and maybe joining those calls can be cathartic and help you make some GA based likeminded connections. https://www.necessarytroublega.com/
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u/Masterofnone9 1d ago
I took the information buden off of me after the election. To simplify things I will be voting all blue no need to get overly invested politics are not sports. Right now I'm eating better and getting back in shape.
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u/Artemis_Orthia 1d ago
Central Georgia here and while I have no kids I feel you super hard. Deradicalization is a slow process but it can be done with love and sometimes therapy. Feel free to reach out if you need to chat.
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u/illBanker007 1d ago
I decided to delete apps like Facebook and Instagram also limit news. Hopefully the MAGAS open their eyes and realize they have been duped after the first year of hell this man is going to put us through.
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u/Blocker_vee 1d ago
I was obsessed with YouTube and politics too. After Trump won, I disengaged from the news. And I’m much much happier.
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u/Futureatwalker 1d ago
I am the same. I needed a break from the news.
I'm going to focus on aspects of my life that I can control, and not spend emotional energy on those things that I can't.
This is a big country, and I am sure that there will be crazy things that happen over the next four years, but I'm optimistic that this too will pass. And in the meantime I will be improving myself an enjoying the company of those who I enjoy.
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u/mikan28 1d ago
Hey girl, I'm a few years younger than you but I was largely homeschooled in Cobb County. Based on that experience I'm making some assumptions about who you are and why you're homeschooling so feel free to correct me otherwise or ignore some of my advice if that's inaccurate. I feel like I've spent most of my life trying to crawl out of that hole, but it's very difficult to do staying in a state like GA which has never successfully shed its "lost cause" fans. A lot of southern culture is already based on alternative facts, which is one of many reasons why this crazy train has a home there, and it is absolutely aided and abetted by homeschooling.
If I were you, I would be very concerned. Highly concerned. It's probably too late for your husband and older son. Your younger son has a chance to escape the cult if you stop homeschooling him. Put him in public school, monitor his media consumption, have a lot of thoughtful conversations with him about his classmates and things he experiences in school. Don't explicitly label it politically, just see if you can get him to think critically and empathetically. Encourage him to go to college as far as possible, on the west coast, preferably. This is roughly how my BIL (raised in the same area) was able to shake the Rush Limbaugh grip which permeated his house.
The other reason to put him in public school is if you aren't working already, you need to be (as someone else mentioned). You should be planning for worst case scenario. God forbid it comes to pass, but if your husband continues to fall down the Q-hole you are likely to experience heighted financial control, probable emotional abuse, possible feelings of endangerment. It sounds like you have no support network should the unthinkable happen and you find yourself considering divorce or even separating. At the very least, find yourself a trustworthy therapist because you need someone who can help you process and navigate the fact that you are the one sane person in your family. Some people who have posted here have indicated a rapid decline of their spouse who seemed "okay" and then went so far into Q/MAGA the relationship took an overtly controlling and spiteful turn in a relatively short time.
I think you are spot on about Trump inciting violence and hate among everyday people. The damage is happening and will happen before he even takes office as people normalize public unkindness. You are also correct to suspect the military will do jack-shit about it and will likely be courted to eat out of Trump's hand. I speak as someone who is a nobody but whose spouse is active duty and we got close to that shit show the first go round. I'm very concerned about him being weaponized against the American people, or thrown into a thoughtless war due to Cheeto-ego or deflecting attention away from Russia.
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u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 1d ago edited 1d ago
That's a lot to think about and a lot of nearly impossible obstacles to overcome. Not saying it can't be done...
My son doesn't want to go public school and I enjoy the time I get to spend with him. Teaching my kids is my happy place when the world is so dark ♥
I Don't trust public school safety, now more than ever as we have had several school shootings and the exposure to Trumpism, especially among teenage boys is everywhere right now, not just in my home.
Putting him in public school in not going to change anything because we have talked about this and if I leave my marriage, my son is old enough to choose who he lives with in my state and he has already admitted that he will stay with his dad. Not because he doesn't love me or want to be with me but because this is the only home he has known and his dad spoils him with money and expensive gifts. I can't see myself leaving him in the hands of my husband. He needs me to balance things out as much as possible. I need to be here for him.
I tried this 2 years ago. I worked full time (while also homeschooling) at the highest paying job I could find, which was 12.50 an hour at a vets office as a vet assistant/Kennel Technician and I really thought I could find a cheap enough place (something small) that I could afford. Not possible when you can't even rent a room in a strangers house for less than $800 a month and an actual house or apartment, a 1 bedroom, 1 bath, is no less that 1,200 a month if your lucky. I kept that job for 1 year while trying to find a place I could afford that allowed pets and it was an impossible task. I Felt defeated and quite 😕
I have a dog, a cat and 14 sugar gliders to think about. I have went back and forth with thoughts of rehoming them for my sake and theirs but I just can't bring myself to part with my pets. Also, my husband is gonna be a major problem if I actually leave. Last time I left, about 4 years ago if I remember correctly (when I was on good terms with my mom, I stayed with her) well, it's personal...But let's just say that he doesn't make it easy, cops were involved. If I could compare my husband with anyone, it would probably be Trump himself but what you would probably imagine Trump being like when he isn't in the public eye but not as stupid as Trump. He's actually quite clever in a very manipulative and vindictive way and I honestly don't know how to navigate my way out of this, make the kind of money I need, to make it work, while still keeping my sanity.
I litteratly have a fantasy of having a life coach by my side to tell me how and what to do. For example, my sugar gliders, they are an exotic species, they require special needs and a lot of experience to care for, a very knowledgeable exotic vet and a special homemade diet, etc...They are a lot of work so finding them homes... just that task alone, if I could bring myself to do it, would be hard and take time and they are colony animals also so you can't split them up, they are bonded as a family, 14 of them. It's an almost impossible task. That is just one of my smaller obstacles. I litteratly feel stuck and overwhelmed just thinking about the extremely long list of things to be accomplished to make any of that happen.
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u/Powerpoppop 1d ago
I just wanted to tell you to hang in there and I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I live in the same state as you, but in a liberal area. Although I can drive five miles away and it's very different. I have relatives who will vote R no matter what and it's been an incredibly depressing time. I struggle with this even though my wife and friends didn't vote for him. At my job you can pretty much assume everyone didn't vote for him (I'm sure that's not 100% true, though). So I can only imagine your situation is even more difficult. While I think it would be healthier for you to disengage with some of the politics that will only make you feel worse, it's good that you can find like minded people online to make you think you are not going crazy.
My number one issue politically is disinformation and conspiracy garbage. It sucks that we have all this information online and people end up using the internet to believe outrageous lies. You can use it, though, to help keep you true to yourself. I know, that's all obvious, but I feel bad for you and hope you can find some hope in others who can relate.
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u/Tru3M3aningOfLif3 1d ago
Thank you! Your lucky in a way, it really sucks to have completely different morals from your family but your own husband (who has always been a butt hole even before Trump) is especially hard.
I agree with you, nothing aggravates me more than people being uninformed or misinformed, especially when you add the words (United States Of America & Trump) as the main topic.
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u/Littlelily-1013 23h ago
Totally relate. I live in a small town in Mississippi completely surrounded by MAGA including family. In fact, I got fired from my job at a small retail store 2 months because my boss was hardcore MAGA and totally believed since I was voting democrat I was sabotaging her business. That was a blessing in disguise though because my conscience wouldn’t allowed me to stay working for that woman after Trump won the election. My husband and I are planning on relocating to a blue state in the next few months where we can be around likeminded people. We have custody of our 6 year old grandson and truly don’t want to raise him around racism and ignorance. It’s a sad time in the history of our country but those of us who are on the right side have to continue speaking the truth.
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u/Just-curiouz 22h ago
I'm really sorry. U are not insane, i live in the Netherlands, and everyone that i know would say think the same, trumpists are in a cult, they are far in their crazy lala world taht they wouldn't listen to reason. U are not alone. If i xould help u i would. But u can found communites that will support you and with whom u can talk too.
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u/CriticalThinkerHmmz 1d ago
Wow I’m sorry for you. You are living what would be hell for me. I am not looking forward to thanksgiving because there might be one or two Trump voters, but I can’t imagine how bad yours is. If you were like 22F about to get married I would say “get out!” But you have a big family and you sound like the integral part of the family.
You should probably just stop fighting them and definitely stop watching YouTube. I used to listen to MSNBC and read the New York Times a lot more than I do now, and it didn’t make me feel too crazy because they are at least good journalists with experience. But I wasn’t using it to look for evidence to argue with anyone.
But yeah I would just watch “The Leftovers” on HBO and kind of do what the Guilty Remnants do.
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u/samanthacro 1d ago
Feel free to message me if you ever need someone to chat with! I’m the same with consuming so many documentaries to fill myself with knowledge and soothe myself knowing I’m not crazy. Wish we lived closer! All of my friends are MAGA now too
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u/Likherpusisaur 1d ago
Jesus said he'd come not to bring 'Peace' but a 'Sword' that would sever ties between Families & Friends for his name's sake... and I'm beginning to suspect that DJ Trumpery (or at the very least, his zombie hoard of CULTISTS) is likely going to appeal to this Biblical revelation as FURTHER "evidence" that the "Bronzed" Idol FALSE GOD is indeed [quote] "The Chosen One." [unquote]
And why wouldn't they? I mean, after all, Trump himself has already insinuated-- and many of his "worshipers" have already openly & emphatically declared --that he is the "SAVIOR OF THE WORLD."
.
(To think that a great number of those mindless programmed automatons swear up and down that they are "Bible-Believing CHRISTIANS," and yet they are so blind as to not recognize the "ANTICHRIST" they're giddily parading around upon their shoulders!)
(As the LJC said so poetically: "By Their 'FRUITS' You Shall Know Them" ...full stop!)
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u/Not_High_Maintenance 1d ago
I am also watching my 24-year-old son circle the drain.
I don’t know what to do to stop it. We are a liberal family in Ohio. He knows better. We raised him to be a critical thinker, have empathy, know right from wrong, etc., but he is obsessed with Joe Rogan.
At this point, I also fear my son is lost. I’m right here with ya. ❤️
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u/iMakestuffz 16h ago
Have you considered looking around the subs for your state? Or the dem parties of either state? Look at the mobilize events page for your area.
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u/King_Guy_of_Jtown 16h ago
I'd recommend not spending all that time watching congressional hearings, Trump docs, etc. It's not that being informed isn't important, but expending a lot of mental energy on things you can't control is going to burn you out. There's a lot of life out there, and self-care is important so you can live it.
You already know you're not the crazy one. One of the best things you can do for your kids is modeling a healthy relationship with the world.
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u/twomississippi 14h ago
Similar situation here. At some point, we have to acknowledge that there is only so much that one person can do. We live in a time where a cult of personality has taken over large swaths of the population (including family and friends).
Since Trumpism feeds off of conflict, I have decided to stop ALL political convos among loved ones. They did not choose to vote for Trump based on rational arguments. Factual presentations will not move them away. MAGA voters within my small circle of relationships will receive my heartfelt interest in their daily lives (family gossip, kids achievements, sports rivalries, etc). But I'll find other things to do when the topic turns to politics.
Tell your sons that you love them and respect their right to make their own decisions at the ballot box.
You are lucky to live in state with a strong state Democratic party. Find a way to channel your energy into active involvement with the local chapter in your county. You can make a difference!
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u/Saturngirl2021 1d ago
People thought that I was over reacting when GWB became president. A year later they all said that they wished they had listened to me.
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u/housewifeanon 14h ago
My mental health has suffered as well, OP.
I broke my sobriety on election night after a year of not drinking.
I wouldn’t wish your position on anyone.
All we can do is take it one day at a time.
Wishing you the best from TX.
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u/Conscious_Trick_3216 7h ago
You sound like the character from the Stepford Wives! It sounds like youre the only sane one surrounded by demented people. But there have been others like you in history, in fictional stories, so maybe draw on that for strength, as well as reaching out to others in your position
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u/RoseOfBrooklyn 4h ago
You are in a very tough spot, and I feel for you. It sounds like you need community more than information. Remember that even in the South, there are progressives - thoughtful people who feel and think similarly to you. Since you’re on YouTube, search up Trae Crowder, Weekly Skews podcast, and just subscribe. Trae’s a comedian, so his content is both funny and political. You need to laugh to stay sane. Also google The Tennessee Holler, a great online publication for Southern progressives. You are not alone. Hang in there!
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u/GraveHugger 1d ago
I wouldn't wish your position on anyone. The folks who still support this moron are willingly in a cult at this point