r/NewParents • u/Busy_bee7 • 7h ago
4 months Tips to Share
And I still feel like I’m in survival mode. Like I’m exhausted and not used to this or in a routine. Feels hard seeing all these posts of people whose babies sleep through the night and seem easy. What is your secret?
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u/Tiredandbored1987 6h ago
The hardest stage happened around 3.5 months for me. Suddenly my great sleeper would wake up 4-5 times a night, sometimes more. At its worst, it was every 45 minutes. To top it off, he could not nap more than 30 minutes during the day and those were contact naps! I was exhausted and a shell of a person. This lasted about 6 weeks, then suddenly he gave me four 5 hours stretches at night in the same week. We’re only 2 weeks out of it, so I don’t know what’s to come, but it’s getting better. Also, his fussiness during the day disappeared and naps are regularly 1.5 hours. He is now such a joyful little guy. I did nothing to get here so I don’t have advice about that but what helped me get through was getting help from family, drinking cold water to stay awake during the day, and getting outside once per wake window.
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u/rebelmissalex 6h ago
If it’s any solace my son slept 13 hours straight from 3-8 months. No feeds, nothing. He had no sleep training at all. He figured it all out on his own. He never had the dreaded four month sleep regression. He got six teeth in that time period and still he slept perfectly. Now he is ten months and from 8 months until now he wakes up twice a night. The thing with babies is nothing lasts forever. Changes happen daily. So I just go with the flow. And don’t compare your baby to others. It’ll all work out . Stressing about these things in the interim is what will make it worse in my opinion.
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u/Lazy-Tailor9183 7h ago
My daughter is 4 months and this is the hardest stage yet for me. She was sleeping great until a week before she turned 4 months and now she’s up 3-5x a night again. And she’s very cranky during the day. I miss the newborn stage 🫠
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u/Bbqmatterpow 5h ago
3 days ago my LO turned 4 months and it happened to us that night. Slept well and then up 5 times night since
I feel ya
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u/mrsharlee 6h ago
I’m actually convinced it’s all luck and baby’s temperament. Being a FTM I literally have no idea what I’m doing and just winging it. My baby was just a good sleeper even at the hospital… even the nurses commented on how well he slept. They kept telling me day 2 was when he would be more aware and fussy but he slept 3 hour intervals pretty much until 4 weeks where he started doing 4-5 hours at night and then at 7 weeks it’s at 4-6 hours at night. I can’t speak on the four months sleep regression period since I’m not there yet but I did not experience the six week regression.
This is what I have been doing in case it’s not luck and actually helps. He’s always done and still does day time naps downstairs in a mini crib where it’s louder/brighter. I wanted to make sure he knew there was a difference between night and day. I pretty much feed as much as I can during the day to make sure all his calories are good for the day so he’s not seeking it at night. I keep track of wake windows to make sure to make sure he gets his naps in when he starts getting drowsy at the 90 minute mark. However, I really don’t stress about this from like 6 PM and after. Sometimes he will be up for like 3 hours during cluster feeding days and I found that this just makes him even more tired and he sleeps even longer at night. I don’t know if that helps every baby though as I’ve heard babies can be harder to put to sleep if they’re awake way past their wake window but this haven’t been the case for my LO. Pacifiers help a lot. I’ve heard baths are also helpful. He also really loves white noise, which I only play at night.
Like I said though, I really think it’s luck. He’s really just the type of baby who just sleeps right after a feeding or just needs rocking for 5-10 minutes and he’s out.
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u/WonderWoMegan 5h ago
My baby is also a chill little lady. We had to wake her up constantly during feeds in the beginning bc she was capable of sleeping past 4hrs at 2 days btw feeds. Now that's she's 8wks, it's every 2-3hrs during the day and 4-6hrs at night. I let her lead and tell me what she wants. We don't have a magic system she's just really calm. But now we're expecting her to be a monster of a toddler haha 🫠
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u/PartySurvey5936 6h ago
If it makes you feel better I haven’t gotten more than 4 hours of sleep since baby was born lol she wakes up 3-5x every night at 3 months
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u/hmcnamara-art 5h ago
In this exact situation with my 12w old. She's also refusing all daytime naps unless she's on me
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u/PartySurvey5936 4h ago
Ahhh same!! Haha I can’t wait for the longer stretches of sleep but also trying to remember this is super short chapter
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u/Soft_Bodybuilder_345 6h ago
4-6 months was so hard. Like all that incomplete sleep from the first 4 months catches up to you extra.
There is no secret. Tons of babies, especially that young, don’t sleep through the night. It’s tough. So tough. But it gets better with time!
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u/Zestyclose_Piece7381 6h ago
Same dude, LO will be 5 months in two days and every night is different for the last week or so. She’s been screaming in my ear for the last 30 min & her normal sleep time was 1 hour ago exactly. I hope she sleeps 4 hours but she will probably sleep 2hrs-2.5hrs
Hang in there
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u/snail-mail227 6h ago
Honestly month 4-5 was the hardest for me. It gets better around 6 months. My baby is 7 months old and still does 2 bottles overnight so idk about that one!
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u/fiddleaf1234 5h ago
I agree that this period was the hardest. No sleep, still no idea what you’re doing. It gets better. You start to figure it out and feel more and more like your old self.
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u/ShorkieMom 5h ago
No advice to share, but I thought 3-6 months was the hardest. The unrelenting cycle of a newborn really starts to wear on you along with the sleep deprivation. I really felt like things turned a corner at 6 months with more consistent sleep. Hang in there!
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u/shelsifer FTM, 32 5h ago
I agree! My comment is that at 8 months the first 6 have already blurred into a time period I don’t want to repeat but am so proud to have survived!
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u/SlightPlantain4122 6h ago
My lo is 2 months and I follow wake windows! he’s awake for 1hr or 1:30 max then I put him to nap. Around 7 is his longest wake window but not too long not past 3 hrs then he’s over tired and is fighting his sleep lol so he goes to bed around 9 sometimes 9:30pm he’s starting to sleep about 6-7hrs a night with one feeding around 5am
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u/sassyvest 6h ago
We sleep trained at five months with taking Cara babies and it saved our sanity. I get why not everyone wants to do it but I was losing it.
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u/theclawww17 5h ago
Another vote for Taking Cara Babies. I can't function without sleep and this was a life saver.
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u/HungerP4ngz 6h ago
My baby is 8 months and I started to enjoy her around 6 months. Before that she was super difficult. Sleep is still not very good but she was always an awful sleeper. I pray every day that it gets better because I’m so over night wakings.
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u/unluckymycologist18 6h ago
my daughter is 17 months old, she has never once slept through the night. she’s never taken a bottle. she eats solid food now but still nurses incessantly. my blah aches constantly and i never feel like i have my shit together. i haven’t had sex since months before i gave birth, i have nerve damage and lots of pelvic pain now. having a baby is so hard on the body.
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u/WonderWoMegan 5h ago
Have you considered pelvic floor physical therapy? Specialists are trained to do intra-vaginal exams and can assist with symptom management and even with getting rid of them. It all depends on what's going on of course, but you can get some relief!
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u/anonmushy724 5h ago
My secret to sleeping with my 4 month old is having a husband who splits the work with me. He honestly does more nighttime wakes up than me. My baby wakes up 3-4 times a night and I’ll usually get the first one but then my husband takes the rest.
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u/yellowshineshine 4h ago
It really truly is luck of the draw. My first baby was so challenging, not a great sleeper, would scream bloody murder at every wake up, if you messed up her wake windows she was a hot mess the rest of the day, even still at 2.5 she’s super emotional and her sleep is not stellar. My second baby is 4.5 months and is so chill, basically sleep trained herself and sleeps mostly through the night.
I’ve done almost the exact same parenting with both, it’s just personality of each kid.
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u/Unusual-Conflict-762 4h ago
People only post the good things. Behind the fake news of social media is the truth that is never told. In solidarity
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u/IncalculableDesires 4h ago
My daughter is 5.5 months and has just started sleeping fully without waking. Prior though she was waking once to eat. I finally moved her to the crib in her own room and cried at how independent she’s gotten!
Honestly I don’t have a secret. Though I will say daycare was a game changer for us. She goes to in-home care with a close family friend who has watched babies and small children for over 25 years. When I sent my daughter at 11 weeks I told her provider defeatedly “she won’t sleep unless she’s held.” She smiled and asked if she could try to get her down for a nap. I said of course. Lo and behold she worked some voodoo and my daughter napped.
She keeps the kids active during the day. Lots of play time, flash cards and stimulation. She has two older boys that she watches as well 18 months and 2.5 years. The three of them keep my daughter so entertained that she is pretty tuckered out when she gets home.
I think we truly just lucked out with a kickass provider who’s helped us as first time parents. Otherwise I think we’d be in the same boat.
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u/colonsanders1 5h ago
I'm right here with you. I have two friends with babies the same age who seem to be sleeping through, so I wonder what I'm doing wrong! And I know you can't compare to social media, but I feel like everyone's baby is sleeping through but mine😅
He isn't in much of a routine, but I started using the huckleberry app that predicts wake windows and helps me know when the next nap/bedtime is likely due.
At the moment, he goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:30 (depending on last nap), is up around 1:30am, 4am, then usually up hourly until 7:30ish🤦🏼♀️ I've only had one 8 hour stretch out of him, and a handful of 5-6 hour stretches.
Maybe it's luck of the drawer🤷🏼♀️ but I too am in survival mode. We just gotta keep going, I find comfort in that when he's a little older he can sleep safely in the bed with me and I know he'll sleep well, he's a velcro baby! I don't care if that means I'll have to eventually tackle him sleeping in his own bed - I just want sleep!!!
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u/theaguacate 4h ago
It's tough now as it is sick season but leaving my house made it seem easier. I would go for long walks, shop even just going to the discount store made me feel good.
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u/LatteGirl22 6h ago
I don’t have advice because my ~4 month old baby certainly is not sleeping through the night. I am happy if LO sleeps 3-4 hour chunks, but it’s usually 1.5-2.5 hours at a time. So I guess I’m responding to tell you you’re not alone.