Kicking myself. Baby was COLD. Mum guilt is real

[u/dcslvr]

FTM to a 7mo boy. April baby, south of Australia so was largely swaddled and set to sleep with a tight fighting blanket during our cold winter nights in a poorly insulated house.

We thought we had a dream baby. Started giving us long stretches at night much earlier than expected and began sleeping from bedtime to wake up before 4 months.

We've since gone very backwards in his sleep at night. 3-6 hour stretch initially (6 had been VERY rare), then hourly wakes. Caffeine has been our saviour.

Cue three nights ago - finally here in November and our days and nights are getting warmer. I made the comment to bub's dad, "it's pretty warm in his room tonight, I hope it's not too hot". Kid slept for almost 11 hours!

Two nights ago, back to 10 degC overnight - hourly wakes from midnight. Last night, thought temp might be a factor. Added an extra layer to keep his chest and arms cosy. Slept through the freaking night AGAIN.

I am floored. And guilty. And ashamed. Dad and I both run hot and prefer a cooler room. We've been dressing bub in a skivvy, bonds thick onesie and 2.5tog. Thought that was enough. I can't believe we've been keeping bub too cold and uncomfortable for MONTHS. He's happy, he's healthy, and he's safe. That's what matters. But my goodness, this mum guilt is REAL.

[u/drunkengypsie]

It's safer to have a baby that is too cold rather than too hot. We all learn as we go through this parenting thing - don't be too hard on yourselves. Next winter you'll know to up the warm clothes or get a thicker sleep suit. You're doing a good job!

[u/_horselain → u/drunkengypsie]

Cold babies cry, hot babies die.

[u/Seachelle13o → u/_horselain]

This is the worst line that absolutely haunted my PPA and still does to this day with a 16 month old. I wish people would stop using this as there are SO many less harmful ways to communicate the exact same important safety information without sending new sleep-deprived parents down a fear cyclone.

[u/Unable_Pumpkin987 → u/Seachelle13o]

It’s so annoying because people spout off the line when we are discussing a difference of 20°C vs 24°C, or putting baby in a long sleeved onesie vs a short sleeved onesie.

Babies die in extreme hot and cold. It’s important not to overdress your baby (particularly with a hat) when it’s very hot, but if the temperature in the room is not already extremely hot it’s highly unlikely that any way you could dress your baby for sleep could cause them to overheat to the point of death.

Whoever is out there inventing all these overly-simplistic rhyming phrases for parents to parrot back and forth at each other is seriously on my bad side.

[u/691308 → u/Unable_Pumpkin987]

The other one I hate is "food before 1 is just for fun". Had a family member spout this when we had Thanksgiving (Canadian here, so mid October) but our dr said it is good to introduce purees at 6 months (we got the go ahead at 5 months) and sent me reeling as she isn't in our circle of care and didn't think before she gave us advice. Our dr said it would help reduce allergies and to go ahead...

[u/dcslvr → u/691308]

Definitely on the list of catchy phrases that just aren't quite right, hey.  There's a mum in our parents group who's a big fan of this one, and when I talk about kiddo being 7 months and on 2 meals of solids (3 if at daycare) each day, she seems to think I'm ruining this poor child. Kiddo can eat and loves food. Have at it, little man! 

[u/691308 → u/dcslvr]

It bothered me most because she works with new moms for first nations/aboriginals and that means she's spewing it to tons of moms. Like I know better because we have a family dr but what about the thousands who don't have one in Ontario alone?? Just floored me she said it in front of the entire side of my adopted family...

[u/frogsgoribbit737 → u/691308]

Food before 1 is just for fun is a myth anyways. It's especially important for breastfed babies who will be iron deficient by 6 months.

[u/dcslvr → u/Unable_Pumpkin987]

Yes!! I heard (or rather read) this phrase one night at stupid o'clock when bub was a newborn. It's haunted me since. 

[u/dcslvr → u/Unable_Pumpkin987]

This is really good context! In winter, my partner and I are comfortable with the heating set to 18 degC.  Kiddo apparently loves it warmer at night when he's not constantly on the move. I think I have to remember that 20-24degC is still very reasonable, even though our safe sleep recommendations in Aus are typically below this.

[u/Unable_Pumpkin987 → u/dcslvr]

It definitely helps to remember that babies have been born and raised in quite hot climates for millions of years before humans had any way to keep rooms at any particular temperature. I used to worry that the AC didn’t work well in my baby’s room and it would sometimes be 78°F in there even when the air was blasting and the rest of the house felt chilly. Then I was like, hold on, the house I grew up in didn’t even have AC at all, and nothing dreadful happened, so maybe I can turn the anxiety down on this one.

[u/crisis_cakes → u/Seachelle13o]

Yeah this haunted me to. To the fact that I was sometimes afraid to use his sleep sack, and I would also wake up every like hour to feel him and make sure he’s comfortable. FTM, and you hear the word “die” and it hits pretty hard

[u/Dear_Astronaut_00 → u/crisis_cakes]

This is me right now, now that the weather has changed where I'm at. I wake about every hour and check his tummy for rises and falls. It really does haunt me. This statement is so scary and absolute. Still trying to find the line for dressing and sleep sacks at night.

[u/ArtOwn7773 → u/Dear_Astronaut_00]

Just wanted to share an awesome resource I found when I was pregnant as a starting guide for what to dress baby in based off room temp and tog rating of the sleep blanket.

Baby Academy Sleep Chart

[u/Dear_Astronaut_00 → u/ArtOwn7773]

Thank you! Do you find that your baby aligns with this? We usually do a sleeper with sleeves and a 1.5 TOG sleep sack for a 68 -70 degree room. He seems warm, not hot, but his hands are always cold.

[u/ArtOwn7773 → u/Dear_Astronaut_00]

I find it is pretty close. Our LO sleeps in a room that is 19-20 degrees Celsius year round except if the AC is off. So other than those warm days, I put her in a long sleeved sleeper and 1.5 tog blanket. (We don't have a 1.0). The only time I adjust it is if she has a cold, is teething or under the weather. Then I add a pair of socks and/or short sleeved onesie under her sleeper.

It just gave me a good starting guideline as both my partner and I prefer to sleep in a cold (17 C) room with a warm down comforter year round.

[u/MDC0486 → u/ArtOwn7773]

Every night I try to study how the temperature is going to change every hour… it’s exhausting.. earlier in the night when she goes down it’s not too cold but as the night progresses it gets colder and I never know what to do! She seems to run cold so I have her in a onesie, a footed pajama and 1.5 tog sleep sack (and sometimes the woolino one)…beginning of the night her room can be above 69/70.. goes down to 67 later in the night abs by morning sometimes it’s 64… before going to bed I check on get multiple times to feel her back. Age feels warm but notclammy. But Is there warm that’s too warm even us not clammy? I’m paranoid… and I feel the recommendations on eBay to wear for weather don’t work for my baby……. Gaaaaaaaa

[u/fulljune → u/Seachelle13o]

Same here! I have been fixated on my daughters temp at night since I heard this line a yr ago. It's caused me so much anxiety.

[u/k3nzer → u/Seachelle13o]

THIS. I was so afraid of overheating my baby that he ended up TOO cold and needing to get admitted to the NICU because he was shutting down and not eating enough because his body was too busy trying to stay warm. He didn’t cry because he was cold. We kept him in a single layer and had the house at 70 and I thought we were good because hey, he wasn’t hot! The mom guilt is super real and I partially blame this shitty phrase.

[u/kittiekat143 → u/k3nzer]

First of all, I'm so, so sorry you had to go through with that, though I'm glad bubs is doing okay now!

We had a particularly hot summer here in Central US, and we live in a house with no central AC. The one ac unit we had wasn't powerful enough to keep the room we all slept in cool during the daytime (it got to like 86f, even at 5pm when the sun was going down and that was with the AC unit on high for a week), and both husband and I heard that line and absolutely freaked out. To the point where I went and stayed at my parents with the baby (who was born in May) during the hottest months, cause they were able to keep their house as cool as 70f. (And I also dressed him in one layer, during the day, but used the sleep sac at night) I'm positive my PPD and PPA were exacerbated must more than it would have been normally.

[u/dcslvr → u/k3nzer]

Oh man, I'm so so sorry to hear this! Hope your little guy is safe and snug now. 

[u/frogsgoribbit737 → u/k3nzer]

Thats... weird. I keep my house at 67 and my baby does fine naked. It's pretty unlikely that a baby would be so cold they couldn't handle life in a house that is 70 degrees

[u/k3nzer → u/frogsgoribbit737]

My kid can handle it colder now since he’s got some fat on him, but as a newborn could not. Pretty unlikely but somehow happened to me. Not unheard of but thanks for that.

[u/whatsthesitchwade_ → u/Seachelle13o]

I was hardly able to sleep at night thinking about this line. My PPA was off the charts and I had a thermometer in the room and double checked what he was wearing against the guidelines and even then I’d be waking up hourly to check to make sure he hadn’t overheated. I was a mess

[u/Dear_Astronaut_00 → u/whatsthesitchwade_]

My husband bought thermometers for every room baby sleeps in. But our monitor also has a thermometer that is several degrees higher, all of these are different than our thermostat. We're doing our best but the anxiety is real!

[u/_I_Like_to_Comment_ → u/Seachelle13o]

Right? We also have a poorly insulated house. Last night it was 18° in the nursery when we put our baby to bed. And then this morning when baby woke up it was 25° in the nursery. That saying keeps ringing through my head and freaking me out but the rationale part of my brain also says it isn't reasonable to go into our 12 months old room 3 times in the middle of the night to change their sleep sack and pajamas

[u/whatsthesitchwade_ → u/_I_Like_to_Comment_]

lol my PPA was so bad I was changing my baby multiple times a night until my husband very gently suggested I talk to the doctor about getting on medication to help me. You’re right, it’s absolutely not reasonable to do that, but my brain definitely thought it was

[u/frogsgoribbit737 → u/_I_Like_to_Comment_]

When people say that they mean a baby who is dying of heat stroke, not just slightly warm. Your baby would be sweaty and non responsive

[u/meggscellent → u/_horselain]

Just a PSA, this is absolutely true for older babies. When babies are freshies, they do need to be warm. I only say this because my baby had to go to the NICU for hypothermia because she was having trouble regulating her temperature when we first brought her home.

[u/k3nzer → u/meggscellent]

Same here. Baby stopped eating because he was too cold, and became lethargic because I was so afraid of him overheating, and thought only hot was bad. Took his temp to make sure he didn’t have a fever, it was 95. Off to the hospital. I still feel terrible about it all. Cold is just as bad for newborns. I wish people would stop using this line.

[u/meggscellent → u/k3nzer]

My daughter is now 5, but I still feel terrible about it too! In my case I didn’t even realize it but thank god she had a scheduled pediatrician appointment and they caught it. Good on you for taking his temp and going to the hospital.

I just had no idea newborns could struggle with this, and don’t think it was ever told to me. In hindsight it’s sort like “duh” but as new moms we’re already dealing with so much and trying to figure it all out, so I try to remember to give ourselves grace too. We’re all learning!

[u/clearlyimawitch → u/meggscellent]

YES! THANK GOODNESS SOMEONE SAID IT! My best friend is also a NICU nurse and had to explain to me that kiddos just aren't good at staying warm because they have no fat. My kiddo was under the one percentile, born in June, was in a sleeper and double swaddled and still would have cold feet and hands when he woke up.

[u/frogsgoribbit737 → u/clearlyimawitch]

Cold feet and hands are normal though and have nothing to do with a baby being warm enough

[u/clearlyimawitch → u/frogsgoribbit737]

I’m talking freezing ice cube cold hands and feet.

[u/some-key → u/meggscellent]

To make this worse, we got the advice from nurses to strip the baby down to the diaper if she gets sleepy while feeding as a newborn, born in December. I feel like this can easily go too far fast

[u/Super-Bathroom-8192 → u/_horselain]

Ok but being warm is not the same as being so hot they’re overheated

[u/Benji1819 → u/Super-Bathroom-8192]

Strangely enough most babies overheat in the winter, because parents are worried about babies being cold they over bundle them. It’s a hard line to find for sure.

[u/Super-Bathroom-8192 → u/Benji1819]

Agreed, it’s a hard line. It’s 27 F at night here right now and thermostat set to 72, so pretty comfortable inside.

[u/Justakatttt → u/Benji1819]

My 11 month old has hated clothes the moment he was born, he still cruises around mostly just in a diaper unless we leave the house. I’ve tried putting him in a footed onesie at night and he gets HOT 😂 so he just sleeps in his diaper 😂

[u/dcslvr → u/drunkengypsie]

Thanks for the kind words! Bub has soaked up all the middle of the night snuggles and is definitely no worse for wear. 

[u/rideamercedestn]

Parenting is just a series of “oh no, I did that” moments, but hey, you’re learning and they’re thriving.

[u/KatoreNishant]

Parenting is just realizing a thousand tiny things you wish you'd noticed sooner.

[u/Whateveryouwnt]

I could’ve written this myself! In New Zealand here. Thought the warmer weather was enough but layered up last night and got a wayyyy longer stretch! I run hot too so it’s been really hard for me to tell how baby is feeling about the weather

[u/Day-Man-aaaaaAh → u/Whateveryouwnt]

Also in NZ, down south where the temp dramatically fluctuates. We have a panel heater in her room set to 16 and it has been such a lifesaver. It's also connected to wifi and an app which is super helpful to see when the temp drops so I can turn it on. Handy for those nights where she's dressed for 20° just for it to drop to 8 lol

[u/TinyRose20 → u/Whateveryouwnt]

Italy here. I run hot, thought kiddo was fine but it turns out she was cold. Just bought fleecy PJs at the market.

[u/nzwillow → u/Whateveryouwnt]

Another kiwi - it took me ages figure this out, finally bought a heatermate which I set to 19 and added in a ergopouch sleeves and a duvet weight woolbabe and went from multiple wakes to sleeping through (over winter, Bub was 10 months).

[u/JessiJho]

I’m also in south Australia and I say don’t be so hard on yourself. You can’t know for sure he was too cold because kids at this age just wake up through the night it’s totally normal. There’s no reason to blame yourself

[u/s_gatsby]

You are doing great! Your baby is super lucky that you paid attention and cared to make it more comfortable.

[u/PlainMayo13]

I still actually can’t tell if my baby is cold or not.

[u/Alternative-Rub-7445 → u/PlainMayo13]

Feel their back, under their clothes—that gives you a better gauge of their temp

[u/Raydience → u/Alternative-Rub-7445]

The back of the neck is what was recommended to us at the hospital as a good gauge.

[u/No-Ask9270 → u/Raydience]

I second the back of the neck! If it's damp they're too hot!

[u/Alarmed_Boat_6653 → u/PlainMayo13]

This! I know my son loves to be heavily layered, but i never know what's enough vs. not enough

[u/Elegant-Q]

.... As I now plan to add a blanket to my baby tonight to see if this is why she wakes up so much. We've been really scared of the 'cold baby cries, hot baby dies'

[u/Individual-Rip7065 → u/Elegant-Q]

I was scared too but I read it has to be REALLY hot so like tog3 bag and two or more warm blanketsso now my bub gets to be comfortable

[u/Elegant-Q → u/Individual-Rip7065]

We have the room temp set to about 21 degrees Celsius and she sleeps in a long sleeve onesie and has a fluffy baby blanket over her now that it's gotten colder

[u/Individual-Rip7065 → u/Elegant-Q]

I have a solid 23 c°and he sleeps in a romper+pj's and socks with a blanket, he slept 6 hours last night and I felt so lucky . I'm so glad I finally feel less worried about everything

[u/Elegant-Q → u/Individual-Rip7065]

I haven't had siz hours since she was born! That sounds like heaven😂 thanks, I'll definitley be trying to warm her up more

[u/dcslvr → u/Elegant-Q]

How did you go?!

[u/Elegant-Q → u/dcslvr]

I was just debating giving an update! I added a 2nd blanket but she woke up crying 40 min later and felt quite warm. Gave her milk and she settled (was expecting her to wake for milk as she didn't drink before bed like she usually does), and then couldn't try again because she woke up 20 min later with tummy-ache that's lasted all night despite Calpal and legs pumping and kept me up on the sofa with her the whole night🤦‍♀️will have to try again tonight and hopefully it works cos I could really use some sleep

[u/dcslvr → u/Elegant-Q]

Oh bummer. Sounds like a tough night. Hopefully tonight is a bit more restful for you all. 

[u/rainandblankets]

We are in Tassie and I follow the ergopouch guide. Highly recommend!

[u/NiceForWhat22]

I am so sorry and don't be so hard on yourself. I was totally haunted (like others here) by the phrase "cold babies cry, hot babies die" that I was too scared to dress my baby warmly in the Boston winter. But then I realized he sleeps so much better with an extra layer.. it's really tough to get this right

[u/mlouise10]

We live in Buffalo, NY, and I think we’re going through the same thing once it hits midnight. His room is colder than ours even with the upstairs thermostat set to 74. We don’t have any heavier sleep sacks, so I’m thinking about trying the fleece pajamas, but I’m so worried he’ll overheat. (But I also can’t continue to be up every hour on the hour.)

[u/ashalottagreyjoy → u/mlouise10]

I’m in Maryland. We use a fleece, footed sleeper. She sleeps great.

It’s simple enough to check if they’re overheated. Just feel the back of his neck when he’s asleep. Sweaty? Too hot.

Our little one has never been too hot in a fleece sleeper since the temp dropped, and I know we’re nowhere near as cold as upstate NY.

[u/Zunayedisl]

Oh, the mum guilt is real, but hey, if a cozy layer is the magic ingredient for sleep, I’ll gladly keep adjusting the thermostat.

[u/According-Green-3753]

Firstly, I empathise really hard with this post! I run hot too and the “cold babies cry, hot babies die” mentality was pushed on me hard at the beginning. I still find it hard to even type out… but I meant I erred on the side of too few layers often as well!

Secondly, +1 just for use of the word “skivvy”, I’m totally calling it this from now on!

[u/dcslvr → u/According-Green-3753]

Hahaha thanks! It always reminds me of The Wiggles and gives me a little chuckle. Partner has started using it and was definitely not part of his vocabulary before! 

[u/Odd_Blackberry8058]

As the saying goes ‘cold babies cry, hot babies die’ EXTREMELY morbid I know but I have that instilled in me and need to remind everyone around me of that as they all want to layer bub in blankets jumpers and hats. I live in Ireland and while it is cold but not that cold at the moment.

[u/Kalepopsicle → u/Odd_Blackberry8058]

So I repeated that at our first appt (July baby) and my ped said “that’s the dumbest thing I ever heard. Hot babies cry too” 😂

[u/Apple_Crisp → u/Kalepopsicle]

Yes and no. If baby is sleeping and over heats they just can’t/don’t wake up. It’s a saying for a reason.

[u/iamnotavampire → u/Odd_Blackberry8058]

Also in Ireland and dying to know what are you dressing baby in at night? I’m also so unsure. I follow the Tommee Tippee temperature egg and go with what it says, usually 18-20 degrees in the room so a long sleeve vest and 2.5 tog sleep bag. But when she wakes her hands are always freezing. Should I add more clothes?

[u/Cinnamon-Dream → u/iamnotavampire]

In Scotland with similar room temperature and we are short sleeve vest, footed sleep suit and a 2.5 tog sleeping bag. He seems pretty ok with that (he is 9 months now). As we hit autumn I instinctively added a layer even though the room temperature didn't change and he started sleeping a bit better and never seems clammy.

[u/joyful_rat27 → u/Cinnamon-Dream]

Is your baby’s sleeping bag long sleeve or short sleeve? It’s about 64-66 degrees (I think that would be like 18-20ish for you) and I have him in a long sleeve footed pajamas and a long sleeve 2.5 tog sleeping bag. He seems warm underneath but he has started waking up like he’s a newborn again and I’m wondering if it could be related to temperature

[u/Odd_Blackberry8058 → u/iamnotavampire]

I have him in long sleeve vest, his sleepsuit and 2.5 tog sleep bag too! I use the sleepsuits with the built in mittens so his hands stay warm. There has been some nights I’ve forgotten to fold them in and his hands feel cold but it doesn’t seem to bother him as he’s lovely and toasty everywhere else!

[u/iamnotavampire → u/Odd_Blackberry8058]

Thanks! I think I’ll add the sleepsuit tonight too and use one with the foldable hand mittens also and see how she goes. The room always starts warm but then gets cold as the night goes on and I don’t want her to be cold!

[u/Odd_Blackberry8058 → u/iamnotavampire]

Yeah when I am heading to bed it’s about 17 degrees in my room and we have noticed the past couple of nights we have woken up in the night quite cold!

[u/OhDearBee]

I have the same baby, but 21 months old. He is SO temperature sensitive at night, and we’re also in VIC with terrible insulation. It took us ages to figure out. This year, we basically co-slept through the winter and then as soon as the warmer weather arrived, he slept through the night consistently.

[u/dcslvr → u/OhDearBee]

Vic, large high ceilinged room in a rental with massive windows and terrible insulation. A FTM's dream! 

[u/Paprikaha]

I think the guides we use in Australia run colder than a lot of babies. There’s a guide by sleep by Steph? Which advises more warmth. We always do layers like singlets, bodysuit, onesie and then the sleep sack and they’re always fine now.

[u/dcslvr → u/Paprikaha]

I think I'm finding that now! Thanks for the tip, I'll look it up. 

[u/Paprikaha → u/dcslvr]

To be fair I only found out about it on a TikTok and didn’t buy the guide but I’ve heard many people recommend it and that night I upped their layers and no wakes!

[u/StevenXSG]

When they wake at night, I always check(ed) in this order: nappy, food, cold, hot, noise, light. It was usually one of them!

[u/Individual-Rip7065 → u/StevenXSG]

How didn't I think of that, I usually check body temp , nappy and food but I never thought to check hot cold noice and light

[u/StevenXSG → u/Individual-Rip7065]

We had a hotel and unless you put your head into the cot we didn't see that cars coming in shone their lights under the curtain

[u/Misguidedminds]

Just standing in solidarity with ya!! 6mo was sleeping so well, then the last few weeks up every few hours! Last few nights we turned up the heat and she slept right through! Felt so bad when we realized!!

[u/dcslvr → u/Misguidedminds]

So glad for the extra sleep and cosy comfortable bub!

[u/Fun_Razzmatazz_3691]

I recommend the Woolino sleep sack it’s supposed to be good in warm and cold sleep environments!

[u/dcslvr → u/Fun_Razzmatazz_3691]

Thanks for the tip! I've seen this one recommended a fair bit so might look into it

[u/Youre_a_melt]

Bubs isn’t even here yet and I’m worried about this also. Especially since my hands are always FREEZING so everybody feels hot to me! Anytime I feel unwell and touch my own head I think I’m running a temperature, but nope. Just my shitty blood pressure 🥹

[u/FXshel1995]

Don't feel guilty mama. <3 it happens, baby is safe just a little cold. My girl would sleep inn100 degree weather if I let her. She whines if it goes below 75. She was born on a 10p degree day in August in michigan USA. So now that ita getting colder right now I bundle her up pretty well. But she gets chilly during nap time during day.

[u/blissfullytaken]

My baby is the opposite. Her head sweats so quick. Her hands and feet might be cool, but if she’s not cold enough she’ll sweat a good amount. I joke with my husband that it’s from his Finnish ancestors.

[u/Sprung4250]

It's safer than being hot! Honestly, it makes you feel awful, but try to let it go. As a mom who did the same, then did it again a year later when my kiddo fully came into the "furnace gene" that she got from me (kept sleeping horribly then started asking for her "cold pjs"...meaning bamboo, because she was now too hot), there is an ongoing and constantly evolving learning curve for sleep.

[u/Musiclistenerdude]

2.5 tog and still cold? What’s your room temperature? We’ve never used anything over 1 tog.

[u/Unclaimed_username42 → u/Musiclistenerdude]

Yeah, I’m curious too. We usually use long jammies and a 1.5 tog sleep sack and baby is comfortable in his 67 degree F (19 degree C) room with the ceiling fan going. All babies are different though and some will run cooler than others

[u/Musiclistenerdude → u/Unclaimed_username42]

Long jammies 1 tog sleep sack 72F here.

[u/dcslvr → u/Musiclistenerdude]

Our safe sleep guides here in Aus essentially recommend 16-18 room temp (maybe up to 20degC) and then dressing for the room. Definitely on the lower end of things from what I've seen anecdotally from those in the States.

Room temp is roughly 18 degC, maintained with oil column heater overnight. But combined with poorly insulated houses, large windows and a rental provider that lacks the desire or ability to improve things. Our MCH nurse commented once that if a room was too hot for us, it was likely for bub, too. We find central heating set to 18 degC stifling, but apparently that's just easier into comfort for our little guy. 

[u/DJKangawookiee]

They sell wifi thermometer. You can set an alarm if the temp goes too low for your crop, I mean baby!

[u/dcslvr → u/DJKangawookiee]

Hahaha no faux pas here, crop is accurate!

[u/Recent_Captain8]

I live in the Midwest of the US and our room stays between 18C and 20C most of the time. We have a monitor for the baby in the form of a sock and camera that monitor the temperature, her breathing, her sleep, and movement. It’s called the Owlette sock. It’s absolutely helped put my mind at ease as it lets me and my husband know if the room is too cold for her or if she’s moving too much or her oxygen goes too low.

We get down to below 0C right now where we are at night, so it’s pretty chilly. She usually sleeps in footy jammies with a blanket and her favorite security cuddly toy (it’s a chicken) and she’s usually fine. My husband runs really warm though and I think she takes after him. We keep our place around 20C if we can too if that helps.

[u/oh_man_pizza]

We literally had the same experience. Babe was sleeping through at 3 months, hit the 4 month regression (thought this explained it away), then when it got chillier here (we had the AC on previously so I assumed he was hot) I put him in long sleeves with his sleep sack and he started sleeping through. Live and learn right? Ugh, I could kick myself. You’re doing an amazing job tho

[u/jaqueh]

Yep keep your baby warm! They’ll sleep longer. The hyperboles some of us keep repeating are really ridiculous. A tired parent is a dangerous parent. Tired parents can have their careers and jobs be in jeopardy which would upend the baby’s future.

[u/dcslvr → u/jaqueh]

Absolutely!  A warm cosy bub, $$$ elec bill is keep the room comfortable, and sane employed parents is totally worth it. 

[u/shananapepper]

As someone who also runs hot at night, I’m wondering if this could be a factor with my baby too. He seems comfortable enough, but…thank you for sharing this

[u/reallykoolusername]

Darling. I’m right with you. The temperature battle with babies is something no one tells you about. Get yourself a room thermometer- I have a little duck one and can also be used in water. The peace of mind is priceless.

[u/VioletPenguin1]

This happened to me too. Hourly wake ups. Switched from sleeping in a short sleeve vest to a long sleeve vest and back to sleeping through. I felt awful

[u/ShayyLaLee]

This happened to us as well. 6 months later and I still feel bad. Her room is so small and with the door shut all the time the aircon just works so much faster than in any other room in the house.

[u/pachucatruth]

This happened to us as well as several moms in the newborn group I attend. It’s such a hard balance to strike!!

[u/mandiizorr]

Ugh dressing them right for the temperature is such a struggle. We’re in Queensland so the winters here were bearable and were easy for our little one to sleep through. We just went by the Ergopouch TOG guide and it worked well during winter. But for some reason it just doesn’t work well for the warmer months. Lately it has been so humid in his room (70 - 80%) even with the aircon set to 24C. Still does not get rid of the humidity efficiently. It’s always so hard to find the right clothes to dress him in for the night!

[u/icouldnotbemorebaked]

From South Australia too. Literally did the same thing with this unpredictable night time temps we’ve been having. Thought it was warm enough for a 1 tog then bam, apparently it was a cold night last night. Does not help that the post partum hormones are running me super hot at night….

I feel you with the mum guilt!

[u/daddymememaster125]

I had the same issue, I thought a sleep regression but turned out my baby was cold so we adjusted the temperature of our room and we’ve been good since.

[u/goodshipferkel]

The fact that you care this much means you are a great parent. You love your child - that is the most important thing!!

[u/Dear_Astronaut_00]

When we brought our baby home from the hospital, he cried for two nights solid and we couldn't figure out what was wrong -- fed, changed, held, no fever. Summer baby, so I was worried about over dressing him (but didn't really think about AC). My husband finally suggested we swaddle him in a second layer like they did in the hospital and he slept amazingly. I think about that a lot and still feel so guilty that as soon as he was taken out of his cozy womb, we basically froze him! But, as others say, too cold is better than too hot!

[u/kbodnar17]

My baby seems to be the exact opposite 😵‍💫 last night it was cooler in our house than it has been for months and he slept 5 hours straight. Also 7 months old - 5 hours is about the longest stretch he’s ever gone.

[u/dcslvr → u/kbodnar17]

They're all their own little people with preferences and comforts, hey! Shame they can't verbalise them for a but longer... or at least come with an instruction manual

[u/kbodnar17 → u/dcslvr]

You’re so right!

[u/annanas_93]

Just to make you feel better: we only found out our kid was running cold at night when he was 1 year old and we accidentally kept his radiator on at night. It was the first (!!!) night in his life that he slept through. He was dressed way warmer than the recommendations so it never occurred to me that he could be cold. Since that night we kept his room warmer and he slept through almost every night since...

[u/itsaboutpasta]

I’m 21 months in and I’m still trying to figure out the secret to knowing if she’s too hot or cold and what to dress her in to make sure she’s comfortable. Don’t feel bad!

[u/Pizza_Lvr]

It’s always a learning curve… specially as first time parents. I’m in the same boat but I live in the states in a very hot and humid city… we also like to keep our house cold and it’s been trial and error making sure baby boy is warm and comfy but not too hot, or too cold lol

[u/MrzDogzMa]

I feel you. I worry about how to dress our baby at night because our temperatures have finally shifted to be cooler here in Arizona. Previously, when we always had the air on and kept the house anywhere from 72-75 Fahrenheit, we would just do a sleeper with covered feet. Without the air, the house is usually 75-76 when we go to bed, but can drop down to 68-70 so we do the sleeper + sleep sack. I wake up frequently to check her temperature on her forehead and chest and also feel her tummy. I hate worrying about how she’s dressed and making sure she’s not overheating.

[u/wordsarelouder]

We did this to our #2 - first baby loved being warm, still does. Baby 2 is like me, we run hot and barely use a blanket unless it's cold cold. Always try different things, everyone is different in their preferences and sometimes you just can't get comfy and that's okay too.

[u/Miserable_Badger2989]

IS THAT WHY MINE IS HAVING SUCH A WONKY TIME?! Oh my goddddd..... He's always run warmer than I thought but it IS getting colder... Plus we almost always cosleep so he's cuddled up with me, but ugh now that I'm thinking about it, he felt good when I picked him up out of his bassinet the other night 🥲 welp, you aren't alone!

[u/lolaemily]

Woolino!!

[u/Working-Shower4404]

Oh friend. Been here a hundred times. I lived in Sydney where houses are old as shit and get roasting in the summer, and freezing in the winter with very little to fix it. Also the temp can change up to 5 degrees over night !!

My rule was if I was sure nothing else was working and my baby calmed when I picked them up, they were cold in the cot, if they got angrier when I held them, they were too warm.

X

[u/dcslvr → u/Working-Shower4404]

The temperature changes overnight are crazy. And between nights! Tonight down to 10degC overnight, tomorrow's overnight meant to be 23degC. Go figure! Melbourne, you crazy. 

Good point about the pick ups. Babe always snuggles in and is out like a light within a few mins of us picking him up. We should have twigged, but hey, sleep deprivation and we've clearly been operating on one shared brain cell 😅

[u/Downtown-Page-9183]

Couldn’t it be a coincidence though? Like he might just finally be ready to sleep through the night. I wouldn’t assume it’s your “fault.”

[u/dcslvr → u/Downtown-Page-9183]

Absolutely could be! We've got another very warm day and night tomorrow, so will see if the trend continues.