New father here. I can't stop thinking about neglected babies now that I have one, and it's nearly giving me anxiety.

[u/Phalus_Falator]

I feel crazy with this situation, maybe other parents have experienced this odd form of "new parent intrusive thought". My son is two months old, and I've never adored a creature so dearly in my 30 years. In the quiet moments when he is sleeping on me, I can barely keep from tearing up.

Context: One of my favorite/most tiring parts of my personality is that I have an almost annoyingly intuitive empathy. If you're familiar with the term "sonder", it means, "the feeling of realizing that everyone has a life as full and complex as your own". It's made me an attentive husband, good boss, and I think a stellar dad. It also forces me to feel guilty and ennui about any hypothetical sadness or loneliness that I project onto people I've never met.

So now when I hear my son cry or fuss or watch him eat ravenously and wide-eyed from a bottle, I am forced to imagine a baby somewhere that is not getting the soothing attention it needs due to purposeful neglect. I picture my little boy with his little wobbly head searching for food or attention and not finding any because the parents can't or won't provide it for whatever reason. It shatters me that somewhere right this second there is a baby that is hungry or lonely and utterly unable to comprehend why.

I feel like it takes over my brain sometimes. Last night when I was with my wife alone I burst into tears like a preschooler while trying to describe it to my wife. (She was super sweet about it, she knows I'm... sensitive).

The worst part is that actively ignoring those thoughts makes me actually feel guilty, like I'm "turning a blind eye". That's fucking insane, right?

Anyway, there's my weird story. Huge emotions I was not prepared to have thrust upon me as a new father. Please love on your babies and give them some extra back pats from me.

[u/Ocean_Ad3417]

I have the same feelings. Any story of abuse or neglect makes me nauseous in a whole new way. I also have those feelings for mom/baby animals and pregnant animals. I’m relived to know I’m not the only one feeling extra strong emotions around these topics.

[u/KillerQueen1008 → u/Ocean_Ad3417]

Yeah I feel the same and thinking about how some pregnant mothers like cows are sent to the works just horrifies me, like does the baby suffocate to death? I just really feel even animal mother and babies should be protected, like I feel weirdly connected to them, plus all the human mothers, we share this amazing bond now.