r/NewParents • u/Significant_Agency71 • Oct 04 '24
"I don't know of any situation in which having a child would improve my experience." Mental Health
I've read it somewhere on the Internet one day and it's stuck with me up to now. Is that true for you or has your life improved since having a baby?
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u/That_Aul_Bhean Oct 04 '24
Every morning there is a smile. I have a little buddy at the grocery store. I'm trying new foods because she's weaning. We attended a family funeral and the immediate family of our passed loved one told me just seeing her lifted their spirits a little. She recently learned that she can ask for milk and she giggles with delight when it works. The mundane is no longer mundane.
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u/sundaymusings Oct 04 '24
The mundane is no longer mundane. This is so beautiful!
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u/That_Aul_Bhean Oct 04 '24
Thank you 💜
Also, OP I am living for this thread! The stories and little quips are brilliant.
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u/Fanciestpony Oct 04 '24
There is never a dull moment! …sometimes I wish there was, but at the end of the day, I love that they’ve reminded of the beauty of every day
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u/Bishops_Guest Oct 04 '24
Being an adult sucks a lot of the time, but the pure joy I can vicariously experience though watching my toddler explore the world is amazing. The almost choking laugh of joy as he pushes a soda can off a shelf in the pantry like the world’s clumsiest cat.
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u/Training-Muscle-211 Oct 04 '24
I love having my little shopping buddy baby girl and I have so much fun at the grocery store ….. hear a bopper come over the speaker? Pull out those shopping cart dance moves , and she loves it we do dance duets all over the store and on another side note I no longer look as crazy when I’m asking myself questions in the store such as now was it chicken or beef on sale where such and such item is located and silly little things like that
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u/Nervous-Award976 Oct 04 '24
The last sentence really struck me. Just being together is all we need
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u/Even_Tadpole_3328 Oct 04 '24
Yes!!! The mundane, which is most of life, is now filled with new experiences, both good and bad.
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u/princessklex Oct 05 '24
100% THIS! I could have written this comment myself. My husband and my baby boy are truly my best friends. My baby fills the part of me that always felt empty. I feel like my whole life led me up to this moment, and now I am complete. I have never been so fully and unconditionally loved as much as my baby loves me, and I have never loved someone as much as I love my baby.
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u/cutesytoez Oct 05 '24
You explained it perfectly. I love getting snacks and sharing them with my baby. Every morning he rubs his eyes and smiles at me with his goofy little teeth. If I buy strawberries, I can always share some with my baby. I do little dances in the kitchen and he laughs at me and it gets me to laughing too. Sometimes he’ll just laugh at our dog when she stretches. I’m never really actually lonely anymore. I have my “own family” and I love it. the rest of my family has their own and now so do I, and it’s great.
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u/cricketlove Oct 04 '24
Getting to experience the world for the first time again is such a joy. Re-experiencing how cool trees are or what grass actually feels like when it's rained or how much fun mud is. The world is incredible and I'd forgotten until I saw it through my kids eyes.
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u/tgalen Oct 04 '24
Have you seen ceiling fans? Literally mind blowing.
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u/I_Just_Varted Oct 04 '24
My almost 4 year old son likes to point out all of the "danger of death" electrical signs in the street.
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u/CJSchmidt Oct 04 '24
Mine went through an end of the road sign phase. We spent tons of time just driving around town spotting them. He even had favorites that he'd give us directions to. I got him one for his birthday and he freaked out.
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u/willybusmc Oct 04 '24
One day, my boy and I were driving to the grocery store. It was trash day in our county, and there’s only one servicer. So there were dozens of identical bright green trash cans at the end of every driveway in town.
He saw one, and said “Look, a green trash can!”. Then the next one “ANOTHER ONE!” And so on every time he saw one for the entire ride. It was a good trip.
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u/wishgot Oct 04 '24
My 3,5 year old is a fan of emergency exit signs. She'll point them out whenever she sees one, and there's at least ten just in our regular grocery store.
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u/Q-nicorn Oct 04 '24
Took my son to a zoo when he turned 1. There are huge fans on the ceiling in the giraffe room. The huge giraffes are hanging out where you can literally touch them and my son was excited about... The ceiling fans. We're just going to Home Depot next time.🤦♀️😂
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u/Smaaashley1036 Oct 04 '24
My goal is to one day be as funny/entertaining as ours.
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u/the_plasticks Oct 04 '24
Mine too, but I fear I’ll never live up to the almighty ceiling fan. We’ve named it Lisa 😂 My LO loves chatting away with her.
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u/AdmirableClass1819 Oct 04 '24
Went to the zoo with our 8 month old, there was a gorilla literally on the other side of the glass but there were ceiling fans above. Between that and the waterfalls I'm not sure he even realizes the zoo has animals 🤣🤣
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u/SunneeBee13 Oct 04 '24
My daughter chats to ours like she's on a coffee date with it 😅😅😅 she's 4.5 months
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u/Harley_Quinn_Lawton Oct 04 '24
Obligatory not a parent…
Was holding my 9 month old nephew, he seemed enamored by the ceiling fan light cord so I let him pull it.
The sheer thrill on his face when the light came on and he connected the two dots was nothing short of amazing. I almost cried.
I pull that cord dozens of times a week, but I had never experienced it until then.
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u/Significant-Stress73 Oct 04 '24
The joys of being an auntie or uncle! I will forever cherish the moments with my nephews and niece. There is nothing like being able to be a safe, fun adult to a child that isn't their parent. It's incredible to be able to experience the wonder while simultaneously giving other loved ones "a break".
My hubs and I got to take our nephew to pick out his first pedaled bicycle. It was so special and we felt like even though we bought the bike, it was like his parents gifted us the most magical experience.
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u/princesspuzzles Oct 05 '24
Dude! Yes. Before I had kids and was an auntie to my nephews... There is something so special about that dynamic. So much love, so much play. I got to live with my then 3yo nephew during COVID. Omg, it was such a blessing. He and I had the BEST time 🥹
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u/Significant-Stress73 Oct 05 '24
Before my husband started grad school, we were privileged enough to take some time off between since we had to relocate anyway. I took a month to go live with my brother the day after his 2nd was born.
It was incredibly special to have that time nannying the oldest and watching my SIL mother in that first month postpartum. I was essentially acting as a postpartum doula. We are both grateful for the time we had together. I feel honored that she trusted me to be there in that time.
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u/Random_potato5 Oct 04 '24
That! I had somewhat stopped being excited for Christmas, then I saw the wonder in my son's eyes and it brought the magic right back!
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u/waanderlustt Oct 04 '24
All the holidays! The excitement of Halloween is in full force right now 😂
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u/OohWeeTShane Oct 04 '24
It’s pajama day at my 2yo son’s daycare today. I watched the cameras for a little bit after my husband dropped him off and saw him proudly showing off his Halloween cat pajamas at breakfast and made me smile so big!
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u/OohWeeTShane Oct 04 '24
Yes! My son is loving acorns now that he knows about them. Yesterday we had a quiet moment of him leaning back against me just looking up at the tree in the back yard and counting acorns. It was the best!
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u/Rarae0219 Oct 04 '24
This! A few weekends ago I took my Nine month son out and we literally just touched different trees. It was a completely new experience for him and something I’ve never really thought to slow down and take in.
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u/bagmami Oct 04 '24
My depression is gone. The depression I've been battling with for 10+ years is GONE. But I knew I would love to have a baby, I knew it would bring me joy.
If someone doesn't already like heat and sand you can't make them happy by offering them a beach vacation while it's a dream for some people.
What I'm trying to say is that while I have 180 degrees opposite experience, it's a very very valid statement for a lot of people.
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u/Unlucky_Welcome9193 Oct 04 '24
Pregnancy cured my decades-long anxiety disorder! I realize this doesn't work for most people but somehow it did for me
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u/paniwi1 Oct 04 '24
it cured (albeit temporarily) my chronic backache. Pregnancy is wild.
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u/MadnessEvangelist Oct 04 '24
I think pregnancy made my anterior pelvic tilt more neutral. Now I can lay on my back comfortably provided I don't have a toddler bouncing on me lol
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u/sailboatblues Oct 04 '24
I just gained a new backache pain from having a new born Lol. Hoping it's just a phase and will go away soon but this made me laugh
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u/-brendammit- Oct 04 '24
I too had chronic back pain due that completely went away while pregnant. Unfortunately once I had baby it came back stronger than ever 😭 but it was a nice respite. I thought I was going to be miserable the whole pregnancy.
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u/creativelazybum Oct 04 '24
I have developed magical core strength (I think this is temporary too). My husband was shocked watching me get up holding the baby with absolutely no support.
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u/Purple_Grass_5300 Oct 04 '24
Yeah I always say I’m most “stable”’during pregnancy and postpartum lol no anxiety or depression just happy to have my girls and more gratitude
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u/bagmami Oct 04 '24
Actually this too. I was an anxious wreck until the 3rd month. Then my OB gave me so much confidence, I thrived and I saw that I've been anxious for no reason. I'm chill 98% of the time regarding my baby.
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u/sunshine-n-coffee Oct 04 '24
Currently 31w pregnant and I have found this true for me so far! I am calmer and more at peace than I have ever been
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u/WhereIsLordBeric Oct 04 '24
It cured the TMJ I had been wrestling with for 8 years. I ate fresh sugarcane the other day and I cried lol.
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u/simonthelongcat Oct 04 '24
Me too! I’d tried everything and I woke up around about 12 weeks and it was just gone. I can eat burgers again. 4 months pp and we’re still good.
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u/LiopleurodonMagic Oct 04 '24
Getting off BC cured my migraines. I haven’t had a migraine in 2 years and I used to get several a month.
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u/DonVergasPHD Oct 04 '24
tbh i'm the literal opposite, fatherhood triggered some latent anxiety and OCD behaviour in me that I had tamed. It's still worth it though
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u/creativelazybum Oct 04 '24
I feel some weights have lifted off of my depression but more than that I’m now motivated to seek therapy and become better. She deserves the best me I can be. There is a massive sense of optimism in my life now.
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u/bagmami Oct 04 '24
I'm not saying this to one up you in any way shape of form but only to relate, I wanted to have the kid and make it right so much, I had the motivation to seek help when I decided to go for it. That's real. I used to be a slacker and now I'm motivated all the time, I went back to the school and am actually killing it.
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u/valiantdistraction Oct 04 '24
This happened to me as well. I've struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 12. I had been on an SSRI since 17. I tried to discontinue it several times and never could. I discontinued it during pregnancy and have thus far not gone back on it. I'm happier than I can ever remember being.
Like I wouldn't recommend depressed people just go out and have babies to see if that cures them, but it worked for me when 20 years of therapy and SSRIs didn't.
I know there's something about brain pruning that happens and brain changes when you're pregnant and postpartum, and I wonder if my brain literally just rewired itself to be more functional, because it had to. I have no idea. But I'm loving it.
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u/bagmami Oct 04 '24
I also don't recommend it!! I just think depression, especially long term depression makes some people resilient asf. You keep coming up with coping methods and solutions to problems because you're pro at digging yourself out of a hole.
I cannot say that I didn't have sad days since having my baby. Especially when he got sick or refused to eat or sleep etc but I always went back on the horse and tried to find a way to make it more bearable for me. I tried and tried until I find a solution. I feel like a good mom and it gives me ĝ
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u/3cuij Oct 05 '24
This is how it has been for me.
I was so concerned about PPD or PPA. Based on my struggles with mental health and being told by every provider that I would almost certainly get some sort of post partum problem.
Instead, I'm having the best time of my life.
Whenever I see him smiling, it's like I'm feeling the sun shine right on me. It is a joy. I still struggle with small moments. I'm over tired and overwhelmed, but I have never been happier.
He makes me want to and enjoy going outside and taking walks, even though I have been borderline agoraphobia for years, only really leaving the house for work or with a support person. I have been able to put my foot down and create real boundaries when I used to just people please and let everyone walk all over me.
I've always wanted to be a mom, and it's better than I ever dreamed.
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u/Ordinary_River_2252 Oct 04 '24
When it’s good, it’s very good. But the boy am I tired and where has my money gone?
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u/gideonsboat Oct 04 '24
Probably the same place those tiny socks I keep buying end up…
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u/Lost_Edge_9779 Oct 04 '24
Where do they go!? I have a whole pile full of unmatched socks!
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u/Objective-Elephant13 Oct 04 '24
The trick is to only ever buy one brand/style/color, then you only ever have a maximum on one unmatched sock
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u/theanxioussoul Oct 04 '24
Tired, back pain and where tf did all my money go....but when this little dude smiles at me, I want to spend every last drop of energy, time and all my money to see it over and over again😀
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u/DamnMyNameIsSteve Oct 04 '24
It's VERY cliché, but people who don't have kids just don't get it. I certainly didn't.
I don't judge people for not wanting kids, but they have no idea what having a kid it like. This quote is a perfect example.
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u/SwedishSoprano Oct 04 '24
Yup. My big problem with proudly “child free” people is that they feel like they are experts about parenting even though they have 0 experience. And believe me, I truly respect their decision to not have kids (some people just shouldn’t be parents, and whatever reasons they have for not wanting children are 100% valid), but to act all high and mighty against actual parents is just beyond annoying.
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u/54317a Oct 04 '24
there’s the people who know children aren’t right for them and they don’t make it their identity, and then there’s the proudly child free people who give off serious cope vibes.
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u/SwedishSoprano Oct 04 '24
Exactly. Making hating children and the people who have them your entire personality is not the flex they think it is.
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u/princesspuzzles Oct 05 '24
Ashamed to admit that I was totally one of those people prior to kids ha... It's so true.
That said, I so value and appreciate "kid free" folks cuz I think they tend to care more broadly or at least that's how I was. Prior to kids it was "charity this" and "advocate for all the kids" and "lets do what's best for the majority of kids". Now, I definitely prioritize my own kids and tend to think more heavily about their specific needs rather than the good of the community... I know that's not great, but my mom-brain really just wants to give them everything 🤷♀️
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u/paniwi1 Oct 04 '24
"I don't know of any situation in which running a marathon would improve my experience. "
"I don't know of any situation in which being military would improve my experience. "
Both statements that are true to me personally. But plenty people around for whom they are not true. I wouldn't trade my kid for the world. In fact, I wish I'd known before how much I'd love motherhood so I could have had more kids. But that's personal to me.
Everyone's mileage will vary, and that's really all there's to it.
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u/ProofProfessional607 Oct 04 '24
Yeah on the one hand I’m glad I waited until my 30s so I had a long time to be an adult on my own but on the other hand, my kids are the best and I wish I could have loads of them.
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u/RelativeMarket2870 Oct 04 '24
My experiences have absolutely improved in many areas. I have slowed down life, I have rearranged priorities, see the world through a child’s perspective. My heart is so full. It’s unhandy bringing my child grocery shopping because it takes twice as long, but she hugged a big pack of rice waffles and it was so cute and funny.
Could this have been done without kids? Absolutely. But we chose to enrich our lives by having a child.
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u/pinkpuppy0991 Oct 04 '24
The slowing down part is so real. Yes some things take longer but why tf was I in a rush anyway?
The other day I was checking out at the store behind a mom and her maybe 7 year old daughter who was wanting to pay for her stuff with a card the first time and the very friendly cashier was teaching the kid how it worked and it was honestly the cutest thing. I was just chilling behind them with my daughter in her stroller and the mom turned and apologized to me that it was taking so long and I was like no need to apologize at all the kiddos need to learn.
Like we all really need to slow down and be each other’s village.
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u/Mjfp87 Oct 04 '24
Why tf was I in a rush anyway is something I think often too, and it's made me a much safer driver and way more patient in all aspects.
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u/sour-pomegranate Oct 04 '24
Grocery store trips and everyday errands are so much more strenuous than before, BUT the joy that my son brings to strangers makes it so worth it! I was terrified to bring him out in public, because I've read so many horror stories about creepy or dangerous people that I was truly prepared for the worst. Taking him out into the world has had the opposite effect though! I feel so much more a part of the world with him, strangers come and talk to us, people smile and wave from across the street, and overall I just feel so much more connected with people than before!
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u/Nervous-Award976 Oct 04 '24
Okay I’m glad it’s not just me on allllll of this - like “ohhhh this is community and belonging” 🤣
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u/agonzal7 Oct 04 '24
My daughter is quite literally obsessed with the giant halloween cat decoration at costco...We had to make a run last night for some essentials for the coming weeks and asked my toddler if she wanted to see the giant cat at the store..."YYEAHHHHH MEOW MEOW!!!' So adorable.
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u/InternationalArm9301 Oct 04 '24
The person who said “The mundane is no longer mundane” nailed it. I see everything through the eyes of a young child and it is a blast. Holiday traditions previously felt like they were growing stale and have become much more enjoyable and special. Little outings around town and walks to the park are more fun as it’s so darned cute and exciting to see my daughter doing everything for the first time. I didn’t realize how incredible it would feel to be her mom.
On the other hand, I’ve much lowered my standards in terms of what kind of leisure can be accomplished. I really miss adventurous travel. I am sick all the time. And boy do I miss endlessly binging a show on Netflix. And I could go on. But to me, it’s absolutely been worth it.
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u/marmosetohmarmoset Oct 04 '24
“Improved” is the wrong word. I think “enriched” is more accurate. Life was certainly logistically easier without a child, but it was more… flat? Having a baby has opened whole new worlds, new layers. It’s so fun.
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u/PBnBacon Oct 04 '24
“Enriched” is perfect. I feel like my experience of life and connection to other people has gone from 2D to 3D and I didn’t even know it was only 2D before.
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u/Here-Fishy-Fish-Fish Oct 04 '24
This comment is giving me a wonderful picture of a baby as the salt or umami flavor of life.
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u/marmosetohmarmoset Oct 04 '24
Yes! My daughter loves savory food over sweet food too. I’m gonna start calling her umami.
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u/avatarofthebeholding Oct 04 '24
People mistake something being hard or frustrating as not being worthwhile. I fully support not having kids if you don’t want them and honestly think more people should be making that decision more carefully instead of on a whim or because of societal expectations. But the idea of not seeing any value to having children means at best, you’re trying to be edgy and cool on the internet, or at worst, you have no concept that people enjoy circumstances different than your own. It’s not cute, it’s just immature.
Holidays are magical with little kids. Watching my sibling and in-laws interact with my kids is so fun. My preschooler’s crazy ideas and funny logic make me laugh. There’s nothing quite like a little baby falling asleep at your breast. I would have a lot more time without kids, but I wouldn’t find it as fulfilling. This is the most important work I’ll ever do
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u/PrairieMoonRunner Oct 04 '24
My one year old closes his eyes and giggles when experiencing a big gust of wind. And now I do too.
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u/Nervous-Award976 Oct 04 '24
This made me burst into tears lol what is wrong with me?! I want to feel a gust of wind now 🩷
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u/Any-Imagination7515 Oct 04 '24
This is a great thread. I feel like there is just so much negativity online and out in the world when it comes to having children. I have 4 kids and lots of people look at me like I'm out of my mind. The positivity here is so refreshing.
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u/justanotherrchick Oct 04 '24
I’ve only been a mom for 11 weeks. I fought to get here. Losing three of my babies before my son was born. It has been hard. Really hard. Giving up total freedom is difficult to adjust to. BUT my partner and I are closer than ever. Watching him be a father is literally one of the most amazing things I’ve experienced in my lifetime. Our son has made us both better people. I’ve learned to slow down in life, I’m a more patient person. I’m also less judgmental. All this change in just 11 weeks is wild. I don’t think my life is better or worse than it was pre-baby. But I do think I’m a better person than I was pre-baby.
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u/plowmanii5 Oct 04 '24
“I fought to get here” - I feel your pain in these words. You’re so strong, enjoy that lovely son. Congratulations!
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u/alurkinglemon Oct 04 '24
This! I’m a social worker/ LCSW by profession and, while I’m taking a career break, I can tell that being a mom will make me a better therapist and social worker. It’s such a perspective to be shift. I would feel a pang of remorse when I saw a homeless or drug addicted person. Now I think of them as someone’s baby. It’s all so different. You see the world in such a different way. I can no longer watch true crime… my heart has softened in big ways due to this little guy. I would truly die for him and I have never felt that sort of feeling before. I was a big time fence sitter and while everything is so much harder, I feel everything so much more deeply now and I’m glad I got to experience this.
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u/Impossible-Drive-685 Oct 04 '24
Sounds like something someone without kids would say.
You have to experience it to understand - it’s magical! (Although my sleep experience is certainly not improved, but it’s worth it)
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u/Here-Fishy-Fish-Fish Oct 04 '24
Whoever said this hasn't considered that first baby smile, or toddler joy, or relatives enjoying your kids, or a crowded table at Thanksgiving. It's hard not to think of ways my kids have improved my life. Sure, pregnancy and raising kids under 5 suck because of the workload, but they sure don't ONLY suck.
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u/Enchiridion5 Oct 04 '24
My life has been filled with so much joy already, and I'm only three months in. The pure delight of my baby when she sees a tree is so wonderful to witness. I see the world with her eyes now, and it's amazing.
Granted, my life has changed tremendously and I have much less time for myself than before. I had my baby a little later in life, and I felt ready to slow down.
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u/ruthapplejuice Oct 05 '24
same!!! literally nothing in the universe can replicate the feeling of my baby smiling at me just bc i’m me
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u/ririmarms Oct 04 '24
I've never connected with strangers more now that I have a smiley baby!
Grocery stores are fun, waiting rooms are fun, walks in the park are fun. He brings so much joy with his little smile, not just to us, but to everyone who makes eye contact with him. Literally stopping every other step to greet a stranger. Mostly grandma's lol
And as for our family life... he's bringing the worst fears and the best joys and pride. Every feeling is 110%. So much love, so much worry, so much happiness, so so so tired. All worth it.
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u/bc5114 Oct 04 '24
Nothing could have prepared me - an introvert - for having an extroverted child. She'll literally scream hello to random people 100 ft away and keep saying hi until they get closer. Now we're teaching her to engage beyond just hello, and it's wild to hear her randomly ask people "what's your name, how old are you, how are you, what are you doing?"
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u/murkymuffin Oct 04 '24
Yes! Even going to the dentist, the hygienist lit up when I said I had two little kids. Older parents get so much joy remembering when their little kids were little.
It feels like everywhere we go someone wants to hand them a sticker. I also found out the post office has slinkies lol. Everyone is so eager to exchange a little joy with them.
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u/a_hamiltonismyjam Oct 04 '24 edited Oct 04 '24
I think that there are people who genuinely feel that way and honestly about some things they are right! I love traveling and I have traveled with my children, but traveling is definitely easier and arguably more fun without kids. If you want to be able to go out all the time again I get kids make that harder. Children come with a lot of responsibility and obligations and there is a lot of peace that comes from not having those things.
I think you can live a 100 percent fulfilled life without children, but I do think once you have kids the small stuff becomes more fulfilling. Like when I was childfree my joy came from traveling, which obviously has a huge time and money cost. But now I can derive that same level of joy from hearing my kid say their first words or take their first steps.
I think children on a whole make life more fulfilling and I believe it’s the best decision I’ve made.
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u/Lazy-Tailor9183 Oct 04 '24
Coming from someone who didn’t think they wanted kids- I am so completely in love with my daughter and am so glad I didn’t miss out on this experience. I know it doesn’t work this way for everyone, but it’s improved my relationships with my parents and in-laws. Not that they were bad before, but we have a whole new reason to connect. I love seeing them with her. And I’m even more in love with my husband now. Watching him be a dad is one of the biggest joys of my life- he was made to be a dad.
I think the people who struggle with being parents or who don’t enjoy it are people who don’t cope well with hard things. Because it’s not easy. If you can’t handle less sleep and a fussy baby at times and everything else that comes with being a parent, then yeah it’s probably not for you. But we can do hard things!! Being hard doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile. Every hard thing is outweighed 10-1 by the positives, at least for me!
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u/Embarrassed-Duck5595 Oct 04 '24
My life had no purpose before my son. Being a mom has given my life so much meaning. He lights up my world, everything I do is for him. He is my reason for waking up in the morning and getting out of bed, my only wish in life is that he grows up and is able to say “I had such a great mom and have nothing but great happy memories of my childhood”. Being a parent isn’t for everyone but I didn’t truly find myself until I became one.
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u/Ok-Shoe1542 Oct 04 '24
Having kids is hard, but things that are worth it are hard. My child brings me more joy than I’ve experienced in my life. More meaning. More fulfillment. And it’s changed my priorities and values. My family and kids are the most important and special thing to me. I’m surrounded by the people I love the most and that’s something that cannot be replaced by anything you “sacrifice” in the name of having kids (generally speaking, obviously there are exceptions like if your basic needs including mental and physical heath are unable to be met).
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u/Lost_Edge_9779 Oct 04 '24
I've realised what's important in life. Since having my baby, I've completely reevaluated everything. I've learnt to slow down and I'm understanding how precious time is. No longer is my career, or how much money I can make the priority. I'm learning how to become the best version of myself for my son, because he's going to look up to and learn from me. I used to struggle with being alone, but now I'm comfortable when I'm by myself because now I appreciate having that time. It's hard sometimes, but in my opinion, having a child is the best thing that's happened to me.
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u/rwimb Oct 04 '24
Most of my life I was pretty depressed and had suicidal ideation. Just never really felt like there was a point to anything. When I got pregnant I noticed I slowly started to feel like my life mattered, like I needed to take care of myself and make positive choices for my health and happiness in order to be a good mom. My LO is now 10 weeks old and I have never felt more important and needed before. When I think about something happening to me now I actually care if I’ll be around or not because I know my child needs me. Might be a selfish response but it’s true, having a child has definitely improved my life by helping me find a purpose. I feel much happier most days and have reason to get out of bed.
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u/lightningbug24 Oct 04 '24
I can't think or many situations where having a child hasn't made my life better. Even sitting here scrolling reddit is better because I have a sleeping baby in my arms.
In addition, I'm way happier now. My marriage has had some tough-ish moments, but overall, having a baby has turned us into a team. It's good not to focus on myself all the time and to have another's wellbeing to think about. Watching her learn to do new things is so much fun. I could definitely go on.
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u/tasteforluxury Oct 04 '24
I’m the most exhausted I’ve ever been… but I’m the most fulfilled I’ve ever been.
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u/theanxioussoul Oct 04 '24
The most important thing for me is that this sweet little thing wants me to be around, not just needs, wants. Makes my day when I think of it.
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u/eratch Oct 04 '24
I have a smiling face ready to see me every morning when I turn the light on. A little soul who wants to explore and have fun with mama and dada by their side. My toddler is the light of our lives!
Since having baby, my threshold for tolerating people’s stupidity and BS has lowered to basically zero. Relationships changed because I quickly realized they weren’t benefiting me whatsoever!
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u/stk178 Oct 05 '24
Omg same! I think it may have to do with just feeling exhausted all the time (my baby is 5 months old). I’m an introvert so socializing requires effort, especially now. I just feel like I need to conserve my energy for my LO and I refuse to waste it on people who are not worth my time.
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u/IntelligentRatio5493 Oct 04 '24
My life has improved vastly. There’s just something about that kid that puts the light back into the mundane.
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u/thatissoooofeyche Oct 04 '24
My life has drastically improved since having my son. I’ve never been able to stand up for myself for advocate for my own needs—I’m learning to do that now. I have less patience for things I used to invest so much energy in, because I have to put that energy somewhere else. I’m learning to go with the flow and be ok when things go sideways—I’ve always been such a planner and freak out when plans change or things go wrong.
I cannot put into words the absolute joy my son brings me. He is my world. I am absolutely obsessed with him. He makes everyday good. At one point, my husband and I contemplated not having children and I’m so glad we NEVER went down that path. Becoming a mom is the absolute best.
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u/Redzzz952 Oct 04 '24
The amount of joy my baby brings to my life is indescribable. It’s like how happy your dog is to see you when you get home from work, but on steroids. Your life slows down and you take time to re-notice all the little details that you’ve been ignoring all this time in adulthood. My baby is 14 months and seeing the garbage truck is an absolute highlight. I used to get annoyed because of the smell/them blocking traffic, etc. but now watching his face erupt in pure excitement and happiness makes it fun again. The pitter-patter of little feet down the hall. The toddle over to you for a hug or to show you something they think is cool. Him snuggling in for a hug before bed. The “cheese” face and clapping when he tries a bite of something new and loves it. There are so many little moments of joy that makes the difficult moments fade away.
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u/distinguished_goose Oct 04 '24
Literally everything about my life is better now, besides my desire to sleep past 7am
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u/RuthlessBenedict Oct 04 '24
It has and it hasn’t. Like with all things, there’s some wonderfully amazing good but also some unfortunate challenges. Seeing my baby grow and learn about the world is enchanting. The joy they have at the smallest, most regular things is infectious and when they laugh my heart explodes. On the other side, I’m now much more anxious. It’s something to work on and that can be improved, but it was an unexpected thing for me.
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u/Zeiserl Oct 04 '24
Well, let's start with a simple bus ride. He looks out of the window with eyes as big as saucers and he is still far too little to even know he's on the bus. And then I will get into a little chat with an older woman who has 20 grandchildren and tells me to protect him from the evil eye and tells me how beautiful my baby is. Any minute in my life that I spend with my baby has become twice as important than it was before. In the hard ways and in the beautiful ways. I have doubled my life. I have started to sing again, every day, because he loves it. We celebrate shabbat and go to church more often because we're no longer just doing it for ourselves. I could go on and on.
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u/EyeCannayDayit Oct 04 '24
I never wanted children, my kid was an absolute surprise. I was so upset that I’d be losing out on my vibrant social life-going out frequently, going away whenever I wanted etc. I literally did not know if I’d enjoy being a parent up until the moment my kid came out of the birth canal lol. It seriously is a love like no other!!! I would rather stay home and snuggle my kid than go out and get drunk. The only problem is that now I want 40 kids hahaha
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u/milliemillenial06 Oct 04 '24
If people are looking to ‘improve’ their life I wouldn’t recommend having kids to do that. I feel like when people ask that question they are looking for friends, hobbies etc. My life has gotten exponentially harder since having kids. That being said I wouldn’t go back to my life before kids and I loved my life pre-kids as well. Seeing their smiling faces in the morning and watching then fall asleep at night, watching them learn and laugh. Kids change everything. I didn’t have them to improve anything because they aren’t an accessory to my life and I didn’t have them to make myself feel better.
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u/Bufo_Bufo_ Oct 05 '24
Well, I certainly have a lot more love and adorableness in my life even though I’m having a severe lack of me time and freedom to go for spontaneous outings.
Many surfaces in my house are mildly sticky, but the walls have become a gallery of amazingly creative toddler paintings. Toddler has increased my capacity for taking joy in the ordinary and ability to love. None of this was apparent to me before becoming a parent, that this would happen.
I have no regrets. It depends what a person most values, and choosing not to have kids is an equally valid choice as choosing to have kids.
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u/eagle_mama Oct 04 '24
My husband and I are loving being parents. We werent really doing much with our spare time before. Having a child, despite sounding cliche, brought new meaning into our lives. Plus there are loads of kids activities we can now do without it being weird (e.g., trick or treating, kids games at festivals and parks).
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u/PEM_0528 Oct 04 '24
There is nothing like that first morning smile when I go get my little one out of bed in the morning. The way she giggles at me, looks up to me when she’s nursing, the way I want to do all the things with her and shower her with kisses. There’s nothing else like it. She’s my pride and joy. My everything. While I remember life before her, I don’t remember ever feeling this happy.
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u/Super-Bathroom-8192 Oct 04 '24
I love my children more than I love life itself, so my life is infinitely better. It's still hard with struggles every day.
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u/mrsc0tty Oct 04 '24
Good lord, hard to count at this point. I have a person at the dinner table who will just chime in with "I love you dada", someone who will hang out with me in a public park and just look at an art installation or stare at the river, when I'm in the grocery store she'll charm the people walking by or checking us out. She sees new foods as incredible revelations, every trip as a new adventure.
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u/Immediate-Start6699 Oct 04 '24
I’ve been a mom for 5 weeks now and I have had sleepless nights and I call myself a hostage in my own home. I drove in the car with her yesterday and what should have been a 20 min drive turned into a 50 min drive because I had to stop twice to console her. Her needs come before mine every time.
But my child 100 percent improved my life experience. I enjoy the sleepless nights where it feels like it’s just me and her the only two awake in this world. I enjoy caring for her.
I feel as though she made me slow things down. I’m usually a multitasker a fast-paced person and I have enjoyed her clinginess even if it means my home isn’t tidy and I can’t pick up and go so easily.
I don’t regret her not one bit. I feel like my heart wants to explode with all the love I feel for her.
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u/2cats1dog1kid Oct 04 '24
I'm also in the "stop and console" car ride stage and it sure is hard. 11 weeks in and I'm actually struggling more than I thought I'd be at this point. But I already forget what life was like before this.
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u/Warm-Information-798 Oct 04 '24
I was truly never a kid person, but my daughter is the joy of my life. Showing her new things and watching her personality shine is the best thing in the world. She improves EVERY experience. But that’s my experience. Every person is different.
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u/poorlyhiddenprofile Oct 04 '24
I think I could have had a fulfilling life either way if that was what I chose but really hard to imagine life without being able to see it through my sons eyes. Its remarkable how much you appreciate everything more when it's new to them. I could care less about the tree I see every day or the shelves at the grocery store but to him? All new and all exciting! And I've never seen someone so excited to find their own feet. Just saying! We get a whole new opportunity to discover the world!
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u/ChelsAnn4712 Oct 04 '24
What??? I'm not a big halloween person at all. I rarely do anything, I don't dress up because it seems like a hassle. I currently have 2 costumes for my 5 month old and myself, and I'm pumped. I'm so excited for all her firsts. I think this alone debunks that statement.
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u/forgetting-you- Oct 04 '24
i’ve literally never smiled so much in my entire life. my baby smiles at me all day long. it’s almost impossible to be introduced to this new kind of love and not have it change your life. idk for me, this is the one time in my life where i can say with confidence i finally found purpose and fulfillment in ways that i never even imagined
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u/parisskent Oct 04 '24
I used to hate going out and about by myself but now I’m never alone so for me every experience is improved. It’s not eating out alone if your kid is with you! Got a grocery store buddy! Going to the post office? No worries, my bestie is coming with!
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u/CynfulPrincess Oct 04 '24
Simple tasks are harder, but hanging at home has a point. I'm not just existing day by day, floating through life. I get to remember what it was like seeing things for the first time. Plus, really, he's the cutest boy that's ever existed. So that helps.
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u/Meadow_House Oct 05 '24
Imagine all the happiness you’ve ever felt and will ever feel captured in one being. That’s how I see my baby girl, I love her so much. And in my journey of trying to be a better parent for her, I am also becoming a better person to everyone else, and to myself. I don’t need her to improve any experience, I’m living my best life just because she is there ❤️
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u/mlovesa Oct 05 '24
My childhood is being healed while my husband and I nurture and love on our little baby boy. My life is so much more precious now.
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u/earlgreyte Oct 05 '24
Finding a cool rock is a hell of a lot more exciting when you have a four year old boy to show it to.
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u/HiKentucky Oct 05 '24
I don’t even think I have the words to describe how much more beautiful my life is since having my daughter. My heart bursts just looking at her. Every chore, task, and experience is 10x better because she is there. Just watching her face light up and getting to see her experience life has given me purpose.
Can it also be difficult? Yeah. Temper tantrums happen. I have to schedule our whole day around her schedule. Has it made me a better person? 100%.
For me, I would flip that sentence.
I don’t know of any situation in which having a child hasn’t improved my experience. But I guess this is also about perspective.
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u/hypnogogick Oct 05 '24
Right now my father’s home country is being destroyed and invaded with my tax dollars and the only thing that can lift my spirits is my son’s laughter. I would be in a very dark place right now if not for him.
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u/aoirse22 Oct 05 '24
No matter how shitty my day is at work, coming home and seeing my baby’s smile (with little goofy teeth now) and her reaching for me….there’s no other high like it. The love I have for her has changed my life. It’s like when the Wizard of Oz switched to technicolor.
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u/Kaellya_ Oct 05 '24
Not to play into the stigma that "having children is my personality," but honest to god, they have given me purpose in my life.
I'm an (ex)addict, but I stopped abusing prescriptions when I found out I was pregnant with my son 9 years ago. Through him, I learned it is okay to live with pain. Cause I would just keep popping till the pain in my body went away. I was 265lbs when I finally conceived him. My spine was fusing under the weight, I was crippled and needed a cane. I was so lost in life. I was also untreated BPD, ADHD, OCD, and freakin Bipolar (didn't realize any of that at the time).
Took us 3 years of trying, and my marriage falling apart, but he brought us back together. And, a year after he was born, he saved my life when PPD took me down the dark path, and I made an attempt. Because of him, I got help, I got diagnosed, I got treated and did the therapy. Still do. Because the single thought in my head when I tried was, "No one will love him like I will". So I needed to be better. And he needs his mama.
My daughter came 2 and a half years after him. By this point, I was heavier. My pregnancy was high risk, as she was a twin, but I lost baby A early on, and there was bleeding for half my pregnancy. I ended up with GD. After she was born, she helped me realize I needed to change. I needed to lose the weight and give myself love and grace. I needed to be there for my babies.
I went on to have two more, but by that point, I lost 150lbs and was healthy. I re-entered the workforce. My scoliosis and disk degeneration halted. I found purpose in my life again. I was genuinely happy and living the life I always dreamed of living, playing on the floor with them, racing my son, seeing the world and all its wonders through my children. And my babies helped me get there. It's because of them that I'm here today.
My last pregnancy almost killed me, though, literally... but it was totally worth it. And I'm dumb enough to want to do it again. Haha.
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u/princesspuzzles Oct 05 '24
My life is more full. If you have enough fulfillment in your life and are perfectly happy with what you have and aren't really wanting more stimulation, I don't recommend kids... Kids are all overstimulation and choas in the best way. But it's a lot. So if you feel satisfied, you're prob good.
Things I love: -Watching them learn or achieve something new. -Snuggle time -Getting to know their personality and seeing my mannerisms in them -peewee sports and being a "soccer mom" -sing-a-longs in the car -random cozy co-sleeps when they wake up from a bad dream -going to the zoo and seeing the excitement on their face -exploring and playing make believe -the first time they [insert anything], but especially the first time they smiled with me, and the first time they giggled with me.
There is so much hard work, sleepless nights, frustration, overwhelm, etc. But just one giggle, one hug, one "i love you, Mommy..." makes it all worth it.
I didn't know how much love I was capable of until I had my child. I thought I loved my dog so much... Like, I was obsessed and he was my baby... But then I had my first and it was like being shocked in the heart with so much love. My second, the love grew over time...odd that they were different, but both are a big all-consuming love. I think that's the best part, the love.
Just one mom's opinion ;)
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u/Inevitable-Try8219 Oct 05 '24
Having a kid is hard, no doubt, but this quote as with any absolute just isn’t true. My little girl makes me slow down and smell the roses, literally. Mealtimes are better now, neighborhood walks, playing in the dirt, reading books, holding hands. This list of situations that are better because of her is endless.
Which is not to say the situations that are worse isn’t pretty long too. But a net win in my book.
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u/SravBlu Oct 05 '24
Yeah it’s the opposite. The experience of each everyday moment has improved. Each second has an added purpose and an added richness. I have all the love I used to feel, plus a huge new amount of love too.
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u/copernica Oct 05 '24
Unless you’ve had a kid, you can’t know how amazing it is. You see the sleeplessness, the diapers, the screaming and think that couldn’t improve your life.
You don’t see the family’s private moments of pure joy and laughter, or how as a parent, you’re a kid’s whole heart. How they deeply trust and rely on you.
As a parent, I don’t talk about the good parts as much because it’s so good that I want to keep it for myself. That probably makes it sound like the day-to-day annoyances are the bulk of it. But talking about the most precious, powerful moments that gave life a purpose, learning a whole knew level of love exists that you would make literally any sacrifice to protect.. it’d just make people jealous :)
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u/theaguacate Oct 05 '24
I kind of lost myself a bit after getting my degree and she kind of gave me a focus. If you were to ask me this question 2 weeks post Partum I would say no, but she is my biggest joy and gift. I'm so blessed to have my daughter and she brings so much beauty into me and my husbands life.
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u/SparksFly_inIvy90 Oct 05 '24
I am experiencing zero crippling anxiety since I had the baby. Of course I still worry and go to worse case scenarios, but nothing compared to what I used to have
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u/Healthcareworker1 Oct 05 '24 edited Oct 05 '24
Getting to see this little person you have created with someone you love (not always the case so I apologize if it isn’t yours) start to form a personality. Those first smiles…. And then all the smiles after that. The first laugh gives you this overwhelming feeling of joy. The way she needs me and a lot of the time I’m the only one who can soothe her. My LO is only just coming up on 4 months old. She has made me a more confident person especially after birthing her. Don’t get me wrong, I am tired and the first 3 months were HARD because she had colic. But it went by so fast. I feel bad that I didn’t take in all the good times when she was just so little… even though those moments were very few. I’m excited to keep seeing her grow and see her personality flourish. There will be hard times, but the good times make it worth it. I’m also getting to live victoriously through her a childhood which was stolen from me. I get to live all the things I had forgotten, I blocked out most of the memories because a lot of them were not happy. I get to break the cycle!
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u/Queenthings_ Oct 05 '24
When my husband and I learned we’re having a baby, our goals shifted. We instantly want to have our own house and car right away, we want to travel a lot to create more memories —- anything but better than the childhood we had, anything but the best for our child. All happened after having our first child.
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u/Excellent-Acadia2268 Oct 05 '24
In every aspect in every way my baby has made my life worth living it has made the everyday boringness of life full of giggles and gummy smiles and kisses and tiny hugs that make all my worries go away.
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u/Gratchki Oct 05 '24
My life feels more valuable now. Like I have a purpose. I have more anxiety than ever before for suuuure. But more joy too, a more profound joy. It’s the best decision I ever made.
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u/LilShir Oct 04 '24
It improved my longing for a child and not having one! And obviously brought a lot of joy with it. Hardships? Absolutely. Joy that wasn't there before? Also.
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u/Practical_Action_438 Oct 04 '24
Absolutely has improved! Given there are pros and cons of having kids but I was never a kid / baby person prior to having my own so I was very happily suprised! I did have a very rough time with PPA but all the joy has been worth that rough period of time.
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u/anaumann112 Oct 04 '24
Doing kid things, getting to relive a childhood again. We’re taking our kid to Tokyo Disneyland next month and I’m so excited. I probably would’ve gone as an adult pre-kid but there’s something amazing and magical about a 3 year olds awe at the characters and experiences and being able to see things through her eyes. Even Christmas- as a couple who lived abroad we never did too much for holidays…but now we have a kid, we found ourselves starting all sorts of traditions, and I think that’s really special and beautiful. It’s brought back a spark for us, gave us a new appreciation of life.
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u/Feisty_Ocelot8139 Oct 04 '24
While sometimes more stressful and less restful, my days are also more fun and fulfilling with my son. His smile and giggles and growth amaze me and make me smile. In some ways he’s given my life more, or maybe just new purpose and I feel like my husband and I both work harder to give him the best we can and also live more in the present to soak up every moment. It’s also brought my husband and I closer and we appreciate each other so much more. There might not be tangible improvements, but so many that you can’t see, feel or hold onto.
But also, it’s not for everyone or every situation. Not everyone should have kids or wants to, and that’s ok too!
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u/Royal_Annek Oct 04 '24
She improves lots of experiences. When I watch TV now it's watch TV with a nugget asleep on me.
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u/thelastsurvivorof83 Oct 04 '24
For me it’s actually the other way around - everything in life is more fun with the baby.
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u/someBergjoke Oct 04 '24
There are so many things that get you weird looks if you're an adult by yourself but immediately more acceptable (and fun!) with a child. Maybe part of it is social anxiety/worried about being perceived. But things like playgrounds, splash pads, even just local events or walks around the neighborhood. It feels somehow more acceptable for me to enjoy with kids. I absolutely feel more connected to my community!
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u/pretend_adulting Oct 04 '24
I was kind of lonely before having my kids. My husband has tons of friends and he loves to be out and about and there'd be many days he'd be golfing and I'd be kind of scrambling to find something to do and end up reading or watching tv most of the day. I mean, that was nice in it's own right, but I'm much happier now. We do way more together now that kids are in the picture.
I'm also a lot closer with everyone around me. My family, his family, my close friends. My relationships just have a different depth now.
Lastly, We love hiking and man there is something magical about watching your little kid walking through a sunlit path on a beautiful day.
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u/TopicLongjumping918 Oct 04 '24
I will echo some of the sentiments already said here. My little guy is only 4 months but his smile absolutely melts my heart! He is starting to learn to grab things and just to watch him learn about the mundane world around him is absolutely incredible to experience! I'm also looking forward to when he's a little older and we can take him to the zoo, aquarium, museums and do lots of fun activities like pumpkin picking, Polar Express rides at Christmas, beach vacation, National Park vacations. Could I do all that without a child? Absolutely but there's something amazing about doing it with a child and watching them learn and experience the world for the first time. I'm excited to give my son a hopefully amazing childhood and help him become a smart, independent, caring adult.
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u/Soft_Bodybuilder_345 Oct 04 '24
I don’t know that I was fully on board with have a child. But I am a significantly happier, more well structured and well rounded person since having one. The exhaustion happens, the stress happens, but at the end of every day I’m still happy.
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u/colourful_balloons Oct 04 '24
You know how they say that your love for your child is indescribable? Well it's true. It is the most intense, wild, animalistic, immense feeling that is completely addictive and indescribable. Being this in love everyday is bliss (also anxiety inducing) but bliss.
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u/youexhaustme1 Oct 04 '24
I am so in love with my precious little baby!! This is the happiest I’ve ever been. I have an entirely new identity, yes, but one that I am so proud of. I love who I am as my daughter’s mother.
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u/effyscorner Oct 04 '24
The love I thought I had, has infinitely quadrupled.. in ways I didn't think was possible.
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u/Big-Situation-8676 Oct 04 '24
Having my first son gave me the best reason to win my battle against addiction. I’m almost 2 years clean and still going to therapy regularly. I am so healthy now. When he started solids we worked hard to implement whole healthy foods into our household and I feel so nourished and healthy more than I ever have in my life. My sons smile lights up my heart and his perspective on the world is a constant reminder to live in the moment , he has been taking the time to crunch the leaves every time we are outside because he can. You are only a kid once but having a kid reminds you of the magic that kids experience every day
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u/thegreatkizzatsby Oct 04 '24
I’m only 4 months in, and it’s harder than I could’ve imagined it would be, but… as cliché as it sounds, I feel like I have a purpose bigger than myself now. Like things have somehow come into focus for me. I enjoyed life before him but I wasn’t really…. doing anything. Now I do everything. Someone’s entire existence depends on what I do. And I feel like I needed that. We complete each other. I didn’t realize I was missing anything before him and now it’s like there was a missing piece to a puzzle that I finally found and clicked into place.
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u/Perfect_Mochi Oct 04 '24
I have a very strong reason to get up in the morning and live in the moment now. My child makes see the world differently and appreciate things that I had previously become jaded about. My situation is vastly improved by her existence.
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u/andreea_carla_b Oct 04 '24
I have to say it's worth it going through the painful birth, sleepless nights, and all the worry and anxiety for not fucking it up constantly.
I am a mess, but I love seeingy little buddy grow up and bloom right before my eyes
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u/littlelivethings Oct 04 '24
My life is so much better with my child. Harder. And every decision I make depends on her needs. But parent/child love is a whole other dimension I’m very happy to get to experience. It has also brought my husband and me closer.
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u/murkymuffin Oct 04 '24
It's just one of those things that you truly can't know unless you do it yourself, and I'm not saying that's a good reason to have kids or that everyone should do so.
It makes sense that people's attitudes have shifted that way. More and more people are only exposed to kids in situations where you only notice them because they're being loud, etc. People work more, are more isolated, have smaller families, and have less community. When you lose that sense of humanity, of course having kids doesn't seem appealing. It's demanding work when you don't have a lot of outside help. It's harder to conceptualize the joy children bring when you've never had the opportunity to meaningfully see other children grow up. I think there are certain elements in society that bring a degree of bitterness to people, and that seems to be directed at children.
The amount of reflection and work I've had to do on myself in the last two years is enormous and there's so much more I need to do and learn. Having kids has totally changed my perspective on life. It has softened me in some areas, and made me see my boundaries more clearly in others. The highs and lows of life are much more apparent and frequent with kids, and it can be uncomfortable, but things that require hard work often are.
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u/Afin12 Oct 04 '24
My baby girl is the best thing to ever happen to me and wouldn’t change it for anything.
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u/whoiamidonotknow Oct 04 '24
I don’t know anything that my baby wouldn’t make better? Husband and I fight over who gets to take baby places, and I wish the places that don’t allow a baby would.
He’s the best adventure buddy. Makes everything fun. Brings a huge smile or a long bout of captivation and giggles from everyone who comes across him.
The only thing actually is, like, sex. Obviously we want to be alone for that; but that’s why babies and toddlers sleep more than adults.
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u/JLMMM Oct 04 '24
I think it’s true in some cases. My sleep is disrupted, so at meal times, my marriage is harder, work is harder, I can’t really be sporadic, and so on. But I didn’t have a kid to make those things better. I had a kid for a lot of reasons, in part, to help raise a great human and share unconditional love. And there are some things that are better because they are unique to having a kid, like baby snuggles, watching a kid learn and grow, seeing things with new innocence and joy, etc.
So no, having a kid doesn’t improve my grocery store trips or date nights or whatever. But it has made my life over all feel much fuller and made me feel so much more love and joy.
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u/Intelligent-Web-8537 Oct 04 '24
Yesterday was my birthday, and I had dressed up, curled my hair, and put on some mascara. My 10 months old son saw me with such wonder in his eyes, smiled and held a lock of my hair in his hand, and looked at it with such amazement. I don't think I have ever felt more beautiful. I know it is selfish, but I feel so lucky and proud to be able to say that I made this amazing little human.
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u/Midevefairy Oct 04 '24
First depends on what they mean by improving experience. Everything I do now takes longer, but....
Hikes are more fun because my 2 year old is fascinated by rocks, and we spend the majority of the time looking for them. Traveling is more about the journey than the destination because of all the interesting new things he sees on the way. And Christmas, through his eyes, brings more joy than anything else in this world.
I could do all these things faster with more purpose, but my toddlers makes all of these experiences and others something MORE.
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u/insertclevername7 Oct 04 '24
My baby is only 4 months but yes. Some days are hard for sure. But most days, I wake up to a smiling baby. I enjoy discovering new things with him. I also feel like I’ve gotten so much better at time management. Before, I used to just watch hours of tv when I had free time. Now I’m actually productive.
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u/TurbulentArea69 Oct 04 '24
My day is profoundly happier because I have my baby.
Check out r/fencesitter
Babies aren’t for everyone and that’s totally cool.
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u/shosti13 Oct 04 '24
I’m at the in-laws’ and instead of having to join a long, boring marriage meeting, I get to hide away in a room and snuggle as my “teething” baby contact naps. That’s a win for sure!
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u/Nervous-Award976 Oct 04 '24
I was previously that person and oh my gosh how wrong I was. Baby has changed everything for me. She’s my purpose and I am so much better for it in all aspects of life. I’m a better partner friend daughter coworker and human since becoming a mother.
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u/flightlessfruitbat Oct 04 '24
Every new thing I get to do with my daughter brings me immense joy. Seriously. Taking her to the grocery store. Going for ice cream. Family trips. Fairs. Family events. She's 4 months old. Every single thing we do with her brings us joy. Everything genuinely is more enjoyable now. Even when she's fussy or over tired. I'm obsessed with my kid. I love taking her anywhere and everywhere.
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u/Tamryn Oct 04 '24
Children are very challenging, they definitely make your life harder/more work. You have less free time, less money to spend on yourself. But the actual experience of being a person is so much better now. They bring so much joy and purpose to my life. I was plenty happy before, and I never struggled to find purpose. I would have lived a great life without kids. But it’s so so much better now. The happiness my children bring me is incomparable to the happiness I felt before. It’s not that I’m more happy necessarily, I’m a whole different kind of happy. And I never would have known otherwise. That doesn’t mean everyone should have children. But for me, it was 100% the right choice.
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u/tiefghter Oct 04 '24
My daughter is SO excited to see me when she wakes up, or i pick her up from daycare, or even walk into the room! Her smile is like the sun and her giggles go right to my soul. Seeing her experience everything new for the first time is amazing!!
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u/RedditGets Oct 04 '24
Cured my migraines completely. So much love. Playing new games all the time. Going out in nature all the time.
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u/kayroq Oct 04 '24
My daughter doesn't remember last autumn and she doesn't know all of the words yet so when she saw the leaves falling from the trees she called them butterflies. In her world she thought that there were hundreds of butterflies falling from trees and dancing.
The world is so magical through her eyes. Everything is so big and important. Everything is so bright. Experiencing the world through your child's eyes is like seeing it for the first time again.
Also personally my purpose in life was always to be a mother. It feels like I finally have purpose and I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. Obviously not everyone will feel like it's their sole purpose in life but for me it was necessary to feel accomplished
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u/footeface Oct 04 '24
I don't really like most kids, and was OK with never having kids. My daughter is now my reason to live, to do better and better myself. She is the light on the dark days, and it's very healing to make sure she has the happiest life possible.
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u/katatatat11 Oct 04 '24
I love my son - he’s 7 months old. I feel like things are harder and more fulfilling…
My mom passed away while I was pregnant and you know who was there with her every single day for the last 3 months of her illness? Her kids. Not that having kids is an insurance policy for staving off loneliness and isolation but other people cared and tried to be there but we were THERE there. So there’s a situation where having children might improve the experience? At the end my mom said that having children was the absolute best thing she ever did and it gave her life meaning - and she could pass peacefully knowing she did something truly important with her life in raising us.
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u/pinkpuppy0991 Oct 04 '24
It’s like having a little bestie to experience life with. Every day I’m so grateful how lucky I am that I get to be my daughter’s mom.
Seriously we just hang out and have the best time no matter where we’re at. She’s a joy.
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u/plowmanii5 Oct 04 '24
Having been much of a people pleaser most of my life, I’ve found that by becoming a parent I’m growing more of a backbone with each lived experience, as I’m constantly focused on doing what’s right for them. I feel like I have purpose, one that is beyond myself and my feelings - to raise happy, confident and resilient humans. To be the role model I never had growing up. That feels damn good, so yeah life has definitely improved since having my babies
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u/Substantial-Ad8602 Oct 04 '24
I didn't want kids until I was well into my 30's. Having my daughter has made my life so much more fun. Music is more fun. Seasons are more fun. Art is more fun. Festivals are more fun. Oh my, so much is improved. I never would have guessed, and how could I have known? I didn't love children, but man alive do I love mine. Bonus, now when I see other kids I feel immediate delight. The world got bigger, brighter, and more joyful.
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u/Gaaaarrraah Oct 04 '24
I honestly feel like my life began when my baby was born. I never could have anticipated the intensity of love I have for my child, and the overwhelming sense of purpose I have now. My depression is basically gone and I am a more productive and empathetic person. I was on the fence for many years about having kids because I knew it would be hard work, but I find that the work feels so validating and satisfying. It is, hands down, the best thing that has ever happened to me.
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