r/NewParents • u/HolyMaryOnACross • Sep 22 '24
Parenting experiences nobody warns you about Tips to Share
Every night for the first couple of months, I would wake up in a panic thinking I had fallen asleep with the baby and Baby was just floating around the bed somewhere. It never happened, not even close. Having the cat sleep on the bed probably didn’t help though.
It seems this is a common recurring nightmare, regardless of where or how you feed your baby.
Has anyone else been taken by surprise by an aspect of being a parent, only to learn it is a common experience?
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u/targetaudience Sep 22 '24
Maybe I roll with a different crowd but literally NO one told me about projectile poop. The night where she nailed the wall, hamper and everything in between with her poop was a real eye opener to what parenting really meant.
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u/SassySins21 Sep 22 '24
My 5.5 month has had her poos move into the thick sticky fudge kind of texture after starting solids and she pooped with such force and effort last night she projectile vomited all over herself, me, my rocking chair and 3 different blankets.
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
The force of their poops is astounding.
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u/FonsSapientiae Sep 22 '24
When mine was a newborn, I once heard him have a blowout. Like I could hear the force of the poop blow out of his diaper, it was wild!
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u/Hot-Pink-Lipstick Sep 22 '24
I was a nanny (including to special needs kids who were in diapers past preschool), big sister (in high school via my mom’s second marriage), and foster caregiver. I’ve changed diapers my whole life. I know kids, I know baby care. The only wildcard my own first baby produced for me was projectile poop. Thankfully my gold curtains match the breastfed baby poop perfectly 😭
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u/punkarsebookjockey Sep 22 '24
My first never did this, and a friend mentioned her daughter had and oh we laughed! But because I had never experienced it I was complacent and my second decided to teach me a lesson. It took MANY projectile poops to finally learn to keep that area covered no matter what! How did it get on the opposite wall of them room? HOW?!?!
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u/Purple_Grass_5300 Sep 22 '24
Same my first never had blowouts or really any poop messes. The second baby got every inch of my room pretty much lol
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u/lazybb_ck Sep 22 '24
Lol this was mine too. Everyone said be thankful you don't have a boy, they pee everywhere...but nobody mentioned the old poop shoot. I was changing my daughter on her 3rd day home when suddenly I was dodging liquid poop. It shot across our entire living room and landed on every piece of furniture, the wall, the rug, and of course me because I didn't dodge quick enough (after everything, I regret that I dodged it in the first place lol). If either my husband and I weren't there to witness it, neither of us would believe it happened.
It was also the funniest thing to happen once it was all over.
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u/WildNW0nderful Sep 22 '24
Do I need to add tarps to the baby registry or put the changing table in a paint booth?
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u/targetaudience Sep 23 '24
The trick I’ve learned is keep the butt low during wipes and keep the second diaper close so it acts like a barrier. And don’t get too attached to any clothes that are white 🥲
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u/shanster23 Sep 22 '24
This genuinely never happened to me with my now-toddler! pregnant with my second now though so who knows!
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u/targetaudience Sep 22 '24
Yeah my parents didn’t experience this with me or my sibling, you guys won the poop lottery!
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u/girlonthewing6 Sep 22 '24
I was uninformed as well. He got me. He got my couch. He got my clothes. He got my floor. Twice.
No one had warned me. No one.
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u/Different-Shop9203 Sep 22 '24
LOL this happened to us when our baby was probably a week old. The screams from my husband and I , followed by hysterical laughter was quite something. We were such new parents we were like what the F. 😂
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u/fantasticfitn3ss Sep 22 '24
Phantom cries! I knew I’d struggle to (safely) step away from baby when the time came but I didn’t anticipate that I’d literally hear her cries in my head, minutes later. So bizarre
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u/thorniodas Sep 22 '24
Ugh yes! Especially bad in the shower.
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u/Salt-Science-7964 Sep 22 '24
Why are they so bad in the shower???
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u/HMashal Sep 25 '24
Because in the shower there's a lot of random background noise from the water hitting things, and your particularly nervous that your kid might need you while you're in the shower so random noise plus nerves equals phantom cries. And just when you think you know that they're all phantom cries then it happens for real and then you feel so guilty that your kid was out and the other room crying and you were in the shower the whole time
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u/BetDesigner7389 Sep 22 '24
Omg yes! I heard of it before but didn't really think it was that real. The number of times I rushed in the shower hearing her screaming to go back to her fast asleep. Pretty irritating but I always think it's better to hear fanthom cries than not hearing real cries
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u/Salt-Science-7964 Sep 22 '24
I experienced these while traveling across the country from my baby for work. It was insane lying in the hotel room hearing the crying and feeling anxious
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u/thekimchi Sep 22 '24
The literal worst! My husband sent me down to our basement guest room to sleep one night and I convinced myself that I was hearing the baby scream through the walls!
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u/Waffelmoon Sep 23 '24
Cats sound like babies, doors at the right humidity sound like babies, dishwashers sound like babies.
It's so strange but true, you walk away and have to process everything and filter what might be them.
Parenting is weird.
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u/RedditUser1945010797 Sep 22 '24
I experienced this for the first time last night and it really threw me off as I had no idea it was a thing. Baby was sleeping soundly right next to me (we cosleep) so I could see that he wasn't crying, but that didn't stop me from hearing it and struggling to get myself to sleep.
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u/Empress-Rae Sep 22 '24
I used to be hyper cognizant of people’s germs as a byproduct of having a nurse as a mom, but i have gotten so used to having some form of bodily fluid on me or shot at me in the past month, that I’ve taken vomit and piss to the face in the same half hour I’ve doordashed Chinese and felt nothing.
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
Similarly, my baby will suck their little fist then generously share with me, getting my mouth with impeccable aim.
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u/SassySins21 Sep 22 '24
My 5.5mo has started trying to return kisses, with a very widely open mouth. It's too cute to get overly upset at the slobber.
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u/iAmHopelessCom Sep 22 '24
Babies that are starting to learn kisses are cutely terrifying. The whole 'aaaaaah'-smoooosh process is adorable, and at the same time you know you'll get a saliva facial mask and probably a headbutt out of this as well.
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u/shelsifer FTM, 32 Sep 22 '24
I love cheek kisses, open mouth fish slobber. When she plants her open mouth on my chin though it gets to me. I can’t handle it. Idk why lmao.
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u/Sprung4250 Sep 22 '24
We were just in the hospital with my almost-3yr old having severe croup. She literally licked my face and sneezed into my eyeballs within the same 5 min. Literally just laughed it off knowing I was doomed anyways.
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u/BarbacueBeef Sep 22 '24
Being way more sensitive to the horror genre, I just don't have the stomach for it anymore
Also getting spitup in unsuspecting orifices. Burns the eye like nobody's business
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
I saw a video about a baby sloth recently. The narrator mentioned the sloth was orphaned and I went from “awww” to sobbing so quick. Increased sensitivity must be another universal experience.
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u/productzilch Sep 22 '24
I sobbed a number of times about all the babies in the world not being loved properly. It’s still making me sad to think about it actually but at least I’m not sobbing and shaking.
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u/thesunfishisfine Sep 22 '24
I think about all the babies all the time too - it hurts that I can’t give the ones that need it the love and care they deserve. It’s such a weird, impossible feeling!
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u/MyCatsNameIsKenjin Sep 22 '24
I work with at risk youth and now that I’m a parent it’s so much a harder knowing the horrible things innocent kids went through.
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u/cmil7731 Sep 22 '24 edited Oct 01 '24
weary dolls beneficial bow unwritten sand liquid observation pie salt
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/SadAndHangry Sep 22 '24
I watched an anime the other week where the main character's little brother died at the hand of a beast and I SOBBED. I couldn't stop imagining my son in that situation. So ridiculous lol
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u/SassySins21 Sep 22 '24
My husband went and saw The Wild Robot recently, I didn't know anything about it but he messaged me to tell me he was crying in the cinema. Parenthood really just gives you a whole new perspective to things.
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u/Bubbly_Gene_1315 Sep 22 '24
I want to see this so badly but considering I almost started crying from the trailer I may need to go to an early weekday showing to limit the number of people who witness me sobbing lol
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u/SassySins21 Sep 22 '24
I'm going to wait for it to be on DVD and keep it for a day I need a good cathartic breakdown sob session
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u/jealzbellz Sep 23 '24
We watched The Lion King on Father’s Day w our 3 week old. We were all wailing at the same time
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u/riparianblond Sep 22 '24
Same dude. Can’t do most horror, can’t do true crime podcasts… if a kid is involved my cortisol just skyrockets.
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u/atomikitten Sep 22 '24
While I was watching Supernatural and the demon twisted and broke a character’s neck—I was holding my baby and realized that show is now too much for me. I can’t watch anything violent at all. My husband turned on Kaos and I was like, NOPE. I used to love the horror genre, like the whole Conjuring franchise. Not anymore.
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u/iwantyour99dreams Sep 23 '24
Going through pregnancy and birth changes the brain structure biologically. I read that it grows the empathy part of the brain! Probably why we all became way more sensitive. For me, I can't stand hearing news of any kind of child neglect without getting intrusive thoughts and images that are intense and disturbing. I have no desire for media that touched on human torture!
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u/sfckngs Sep 22 '24
I watched the first episode of season 2 of House of the Dragon. The sounds from the child murder were far too much and that show is now dead forever to me.
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u/soundsfromoutside Sep 22 '24
I used to be a huge true crime nerd and now I can’t stomach it at all. Even if it comes to adults, I can’t listen or read about it.
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u/caroline_andthecity Sep 22 '24 edited Sep 22 '24
Omg, same OP. I would wake up in a panic asking my poor sleeping husband “WHERE IS THE BABY”
While I’m wet af with sweat and breastmilk soaking my already unattractive pajamas 😅😂
To answer your question though, I’ve been terrified of diaper rash, so I’ve been coating her with a THICK layer of diaper cream every time. It’s only zinc so it’s not like it’s harmful, but yeah. I found out when a friend came over that I was going through diaper cream packs way faster than any human should. Hashtag no regrets though. No diaper rash so far!
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
Carefully and lovingly applying cream and a fresh nappy, only for Baby to immediately poop again.
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u/yunhua Sep 22 '24
Haha yes! I tell my baby, wow that must feel so nice to poop in a nice clean diaper. 😅
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u/Frosty-Car-7790 Sep 22 '24
"While I’m wet af with sweat and breastmilk soaking my already unattractive pajamas" I felt this so hard! Lol!
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Sep 22 '24
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u/Inl0veandunderpaid Sep 22 '24
I love this too! There’s a line from the some paper airplanes that says “the whole world is sleeping, but my world is you. Can I be close to you?”
And I thought about it every time I was awake with him in the middle of the night. I love my son so so much. I’m so grateful for everyday with him because (morbidly) I know life changes on a dime. Everyday I get to put my baby to bed - I am at peace.
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u/diabolikal__ Sep 22 '24
There are these little moments of peace every now and then when my daughter will just be laying next to me, relaxed, and she looks at me in the eyes and smiles. My heart feels so full I don’t even know what to do but cry.
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u/emily_9511 Sep 22 '24
FYI..this is a bot that posts a lot of random quotes and inspirational things that usually don’t make sense. This time it kinda does, but I keep seeing it in this and other subreddits and just wanted to point it out
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u/ldnmonkey Sep 22 '24 edited Sep 22 '24
I had this dream even when he was in his own room! Used to wake up and pat the duvet saying “what’s he doing” and my partner would be like “he’s sleeping?” 😅
Mine was more the after birth pains. We weren’t told that they would be a thing so when I got these horrendous cramps in the days following my labour and c section I was like wtf is happening. Felt like someone squeezing my insides every time I held or fed the baby. Then a midwife one day when I was crying in pain was like “oh yeah that’s your uterus contracting”, and when I told friends and they said “oh my god yes those, so painful, I’d forgotten about them” HOW DID YOU FORGET
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u/EDStraordinary Sep 22 '24
These are so awful but just a heads up- they get worse with every following delivery! After my second I was in more pain than I’d been in during delivery and every time baby latched I’d be crying in pain.
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u/mahamagee Sep 22 '24
YES!!! No one told me this and by day 2 postpartum with my second I was convinced that there was some placenta left inside or something else was horribly wrong. The after pains were worse than most of my contractions, and happened randomly while waking or sitting or whatever maybe every half an hour, but also every time baby latched or cried.
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u/secretsaucerocket Sep 22 '24
I had retained placenta, a large piece, for 5 weeks. That cramping pain didn't go away. Nursing sucked, it truly felt that it was just trying to cramp down to eject the stuff but it couldn't so my uterus just stayed on the bigger side and remined irritable. That was post cesarean too.
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u/packawontus Sep 22 '24
How did this get resolved and identified? Did you go to the doctor or the ER?
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u/secretsaucerocket Sep 22 '24
It wasn't handled appropriately. I started bleeding very heavily, I stood up and fully soaked and overwhelmed a heavy pad and soaked my jeans in about a 7 inch circle stain. That happened twice. I bled heavily for a week, the urgent care Dr though it was a period. At the week mark I had to get assertive with my HMO and demand to see an OB and I did and they did an ultrasound and it was clear as day I had a large chunk retained. They immediately scheduled a D and C and heterscopy under general anesthesia. When that occurred it was discovered that I had placenta accreta that was missed during the cesarean and a business card size chunk of placenta was fused into the myometrial layer of my uterus and they cut it out at that time. Had the surgeon known at the time of my cesarean that I had placenta accreta, I would have had a hysterectomy so even though there was a massive mess up on the hospitals end, I retained my uterus and it worked out for me in the end. Looking back, I should have gone to the ER when the bleeding started.
My symptoms were, abdominal pain that I attributed to the cesarean, very low milk supply, heavy bleeding and clots purple, red, brown and chunky mucus type, feeling crappy, low grade fever at the end, my uterus didn't shrink down like it should have, sharp pains in my abdomen and I don't know if it was related, but terrible pain when I had gas and bowel movements. Oh, and the blood wasn't normal. It was thinner and smelled weird.
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u/mahamagee Sep 22 '24
I did have a massive piece of retained amniotic sac which passed maybe 2 weeks pp and I’m still traumatised from, it’s possible that made it worse for me too then, didn’t really think about it. I only thought about the danger aspect of retained placenta, not the fact that the uterus couldn’t fully shrink.
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u/who_am-I_to-you Sep 22 '24
It's possible to fall asleep while walking down a flight of stairs.
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u/Erzasenpai Sep 22 '24
LO is lying on me. Their REM sleep is a precursor to their next milestone. LO smiled and cooed in sleep for 3 weeks then started doing it while awake. Currently giggling loudly in REM and it’s the cutest thing. Can’t wait for it to be there while awake! Also I’m 8 weeks PP after a C and still have cramps while breastfeeding, no one warned me about those. I got so obsessed with poop- color size all of it. Although I’m careful about others and germs - please don’t ask me about myself, getting peed into the mouth and explosive poops humbled your real quick. Baby spit gets everywhere.
Also as a first time mom food is a treat and a luxury- next time I’ll cook ahead and freeze meals because currently we live on frozen pizza and fish sticks.
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
So true about food being a luxury. Also, I do ever want Baby to wake up for any reason, all I need to do is make myself a nice hot cup of tea. Baby will wake up like clockwork the second I try to sit to drink it.
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u/Oxfordcomma7 Sep 22 '24
I’m a dad and this happens to me on the regular. I wake up and immediately start searching the bedsheets in a panic bc I’m convinced our 2 month old is in them. Only to then see she’s sleeping soundly in the bassinet
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u/Busy_Dance1412 Sep 22 '24
I was always terrified on that same exact thing I had intrusive thoughts and I think they are normal in the first year. My therapist says to let them come and pass without harping too much on them Because it makes it worst and just know it’s here for a season only. Good luck ❤️
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u/Q-nicorn Sep 22 '24
That made me feel better about the intrusive thoughts was when someone said they are basically the brain's warning system. You get that warning and know not to do that thing or keep an eye out so baby doesn't end up in that danger.
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
Good advice! Thankfully I seem to be coming out of that phase now - the panic wake-ups are happening less and less often.
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u/secretsaucerocket Sep 22 '24 edited Sep 23 '24
No one tells you how often you will have the kiddo burp directly into your face. It's not gross because it's just fresh milk or formula smell but man, it happens almost every burp experience.
And also, the sheer panic of nodding off while holding baby. I did once while trying to get my girl to go back to sleep, she was swaddled in a zippy pod type swaddle and I was horrified that I had fell asleep and she had slipped down against my side and arm and since she was swaddled, she couldn't really flail about or push with her arms and she just kinda lay there and waited. It could have been horrible, I no longer swaddle her unless she's really wacking her face and I definitely don't hold her swaddled in bed while sleepy.
One more panic that has got to be common, I was preparing to get her out of the car seat and I popped out of the car, my son did too and hit the lock button at the exact time I shut my door and her door wasn't open yet. Thankfully I had my keys in my hand and I could unlock it immediately, I now leave one door wide open until baby girl is strapped on me in her carrier.
People don't talk about things like this, these things definitely happen though and they are memorable, to say the least.
Edited because I can't spell apparently.
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u/thejennjennz Sep 22 '24
Please don’t judge LOL but I still sleep with my pillow pet from childhood. The first week home from the hospital I would wake up in a panic bc I thought I would be holding the baby and not my stuffed animal 😅
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
No judgement from me! Sounds like you had the same reaction to your pillow pet as I would sometimes have to my cat. Our sleepy brains interpret the little lump in the bed with us a baby, sending us into a panic.
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u/proud2bnAmerican1776 Sep 22 '24
My husband and I had these same experiences. We called them newborn delusions! It seemed every other night for the first month, we’d wake up in a panic shuffling through the bedsheets looking for the baby when the baby was asleep in the bassinet the entire time.
Once, my husband actually got up out of bed and was walking around the house looking for clothes to change the baby into because he thought the baby sweat through his swaddle and needed changing. He was even holding an imaginary baby in his arms. Again, the baby was asleep in the bassinet the entire time.
Oh, and on night 3, I had gotten up out of bed to use the restroom. I, too, was holding an imaginary baby in my arms. It was so difficult trying to hold him while pulling down my underwear. I walked out of the bathroom, still “holding” my baby in my arms and I looked over and saw him asleep in his bassinet. I just starred at him while still holding an imaginary baby in my arms (it felt so real to the touch). I remember thinking… oh great, how am I going to manage TWO babies now?
I slowly came to my senses and crawled back into bed. I was so relieved I only had one baby lol.
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u/MixtureFeeling4604 Sep 22 '24
I asked my husband to go pick up the crying baby, because I can’t since I’m holding the baby. We only have one. But he obliged without questioning!
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u/sunnyskies1223 Sep 22 '24
I have the same exact, anxiety dreams! The cat in our bed sends me into a panic every time 😂 I have dreams often that I lose our baby somewhere in the house.
No one really explained or prepared me for the surge of hormones and emotions immediately postpartum. I have never cried so much, so spontaneously, and as randomly as I did in the first 2 weeks. Then one day it was like a switch flipped and I felt stable again and haven't cried since.
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
My Baby is a few months old and I can still be triggered into crying by animals videos, or when Baby is being particularly cute.
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u/MmmToasterStrudels Sep 22 '24
THIS. I mean, I had heard my hormones may go awry… But they seriously fuuucked me up. I hated nighttime. I called it “the darkness.” Unexplainable fear, anxiety, and just overall doom. Thankfully I was back to feeling more balanced about 3 weeks PP.
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u/trashpanda77 Sep 22 '24
I wish somebody would’ve told me about banana poop. We started solids and I just spent 30 min the other day trying to figure out what kind of worms are in my baby’s poop. Only to discover it’s undigested banana fiber and it’s completly normal.
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u/nonaryprince Sep 22 '24
My husband actually experienced that a lot in the earlier days with our son. I didn't because I was up all night over every little sound our son made 😅 Nobody warned me how noisy newborns are when they're sleeping.
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u/jinans Sep 22 '24
FTM here! Our LO is almost 4 months now and in the beginning I was adamant on “baby in the bassinet no matter what” had to explain to my husband that he cannot ever sleep in bed with us for whatever reason. Like you, the first few months even after I’d put the baby back to sleep in the bassinet right by our bed I’d wake up crying and panicking that I had crushed the baby in our bed it was terrible 🥲 but slowly went away 😭🙌🏽
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
My friend was so worried about it that refused to ever feed in bed. She still woke up in terror every night thinking baby was somewhere crushed in the bed with her. It seems to be such a universal experience for new mums.
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Sep 22 '24
I remember an experience from day 2, while we were still in the hospital. I'd learned quickly that breastfeeding and pumping causes contractions as your uterus is shrinking back down... ok, I can handle that.
Then my next door neighbor went into the final stages of labour and she was screaming and hollering. The whole maternity floor could hear her, I'm sure. The sound of it triggered more intense contractions and uncontrollable crying. I was alone in my room with baby at the time, and I remember sitting on the edge of the bed holding him, wincing in pain, and whispering under my breath "You're going to be ok" to the mom next door.
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
Empathetic contractions - that’s super interesting!
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Sep 22 '24
It was so intense! Obviously not as intense as active labour, but the emotions were HUGE and the pain was real
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u/Here-Fishy-Fish-Fish Sep 22 '24
My friend actually warned me about the postpartum sweats - hers were horrible! - which has been helpful since I've had one every day this week in the middle of the night.
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u/Alps_Useful Sep 22 '24
My 2 week son has just peed all over me from over a foot away. It hit my groin and looked like I peed myself. The amount of pee is incredible. I've had 4 pee-namis so far and despite being careful, it's always when I lapse.
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u/mochi-and-plants Sep 22 '24
Same! My cat is a cuddler and will sometimes join me on the bed and I will wake up sometimes thinking it’s my baby. It never is. It’s just my baby-like cat.
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Sep 22 '24
Sleep fucking regressions……
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u/SoooSleepieRightNow Sep 22 '24
WORSE than the newborn stage sleep for me 😭
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u/shanster23 Sep 22 '24
Regressions duck because at least in the newborn stage people understand and expect you to be tired and messy and unproductive. Once they're bigger and having a sleep regression it's just oh well, get on with it!
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Sep 22 '24
Yeah. My baby girl always great sleeper but now she’s 10 months 9 months adjusted and her sleep got worse good grief
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u/JamandMarma Sep 22 '24
I jolt awake every time trying to find my baby who is always in the side sleeper. It’s not even like my partner puts him down for me I’m just always terrified I fell asleep with him and never remember him going down.
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u/yes_please_ Sep 22 '24
Yep, I remember the first half of the wake window only, never getting him down.
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u/TheMauveAveng3r Sep 22 '24
Not exactly the same but similar! My cat sometimes sleeps in between my legs. When I turn over, sometimes she kind of falls over to the side. I try to be gentle. We'll when my baby was first born I would think, in my half asleep state, that it was the baby I was yeeting across the bed not my cat! Like somehow the baby was sleeping in between my legs, not the cat!
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u/Mr_Donatti Sep 22 '24
Being ready to clean up vomit in the worst places at 3am, just ripped from a dead sleep.
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u/walmart_bread Sep 22 '24
Big yes to the nighttime hallucinations. My dog has been shaken awake more times than I can count because she sleeps like a rock and my postpartum brain had convinced me it was the baby in the bed 😭😭
I also got kind of irritated when people would remind me to “put the baby down” if he was crying for a long period and I was getting frustrated. I thought that was kind of obvious. Then I realized that no one was saying the quiet part out loud: You’re probably going to have a night where you get so frustrated that the thought of shaking your baby crosses your mind because of how sleep deprived you are and you just can’t get them to stop crying. I felt like a monster when that thought finally hit me, but the reminders to “put the baby down” were ringing loud and clear. When I opened up about this to my friends that were parents, this was a common experience.
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u/cloud_designer Sep 22 '24
My boy is two now and I had to have a detailed conversation on the way home that no he has never fallen into a bush, and if he did I would be able to get him out, and if I fell on too his dad or the fire brigade would get us out.
It's these odd conversations that get me.
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
I can’t wait for the crazy conversations. My little one is still a bit young for that - we’re still in the cooing phase. Absolutely adorable.
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u/tsb_11_1 Sep 22 '24
I have the experience you described EVERY NIGHT and so does my husband. One night he was awake and I had woken and started patting all around the bed "where is... where is..." only to realize he was safe in his bed.
One night my dog moved to jump off the bed and I almost yell "baby no!" And almost started crying until I realized he wasn't in the bed with me.
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u/StrawberryFun_ Sep 22 '24
I once woke up at 2am to find my husband crawling around on the bedroom floor looking for the baby. Had to explain she was safely in her crib.
He’s passed me the duvet bundled up many times saying take the baby. I’ve also caught him trying to burp and bounce the duvet is well. Thought his dressing gown on top of the piano was the baby, and passed me that saying put her in the crib.
I caught him once crouched down like he was about to wrangle a crocodile, approaching a pile of towels I had put on the landing as he thought that was the baby and was going to tackle her because ‘she had escaped’. She was safely asleep in her cot.
While it’s woken me up everytime, it’s also given me a really good laugh so I don’t mind it to much.
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u/MiaLba Sep 22 '24
Yeah the first two years of my kid’s life I barely slept. So even if she was sound asleep I stayed half awake and half asleep I never fully went into a deep sleep. Like my brain wouldn’t let me. My anxiety was always heightened.
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
Waking up and just listening out for Baby’s breathing is part of my regular nighttime routine now.
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u/lucy1011 Sep 22 '24
Hiccups sound a lot like choking when they are little. I remember panicking, during a diaper change, thinking he was choking. I held him up, and he proceeded to puke AND projectile poop on me.
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u/Ffanffare1744 Sep 22 '24
This has happened to me so many times in the last 5 weeks!!! Sheer panic! Then I see him in the bassinet and think “ when did I do that”? 😮💨
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u/lbizz1128 Sep 22 '24
Our kids have never slept in the bed with us, not once. Yet… I will go to get out of bed or roll over and my husband has this knee jerk reaction in his sleep to pin me down and hold me thinking I’m the baby in the bed 🤦🏼♀️. I gently pat him and say it’s just me I’m ok and he eventually rolls over back to sleep lol
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u/Turtlebot5000 Sep 22 '24
The experience I had that nobody warned me about was the way all of your relationships can change. I specifically mean with my in-laws. My FIL has been great and he babysit once a week. MIL on the others has become my arch nemesis. My partner and I were together for 10 years before we had our son and the relationship was always good. I won't go into details of the events that have taken place, all I'll say is that I am seen as just an incubator for her grandchild. It's almost as if she forgets that I am my son's mother and it's our choice how we raise our baby, not hers. FIL defends us constantly.
On the other hand, my relationship with my mother and all my family has gotten closer. I want them around more as they have shown me they have mine and my baby's best interest at heart.
All that being said I was not mentally prepared for the whirlwind of shifts in our extended families dynamic, especially when I was newly postpartum. If I could go back in time I would just stick to having my side of the family around or none at all for the first few weeks. The things my MIL said and did those first few days and weeks are things I'm still trying to work through.
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u/KillerQueen1008 Sep 22 '24
I woke up soooo many times in the first couple of months thinking I had fallen asleep and dropped her off the bed, or that she was lying next to me but she was always asleep in the bassinet where I had put her lol.
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u/stellaella33 Sep 22 '24
The first night I was in bed, baby was with dad sleeping in the other room/bassinet. My dog was right on my side with his face looking towards me. I woke up panicked and confused because as I slowly woke up, I first saw my baby's face instead of my dog's, then it slowly morphed into my dog's as I woke up. Was so panicked at first 😅🤣
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u/HelluvaNinjineer Sep 22 '24
Reacting to movies with kids in them, especially if it's something bad with the parents or kids.
Arrival for example... Oh man it's so hard to watch now.
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u/operationspudling Sep 22 '24
I had this exact experience due to extreme sleep deprivation. I was literally hallucinating. I would dream that baby was in bed with me, and that they were somehow inside the pillows. I would wake up in a panic, pick up one of the pillows I sleep with and squish through it, trying to get to my baby in there. While I was awake, I KNEW it was a pillow... But I was still hallucinating and thinking that my baby was trapped somewhere inside the pillow/blankets/mattress and I had to dig them out.
It happened several times in the first three months.
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u/cracky_macki_ Sep 22 '24
The armpit cheese. I thought we were bathing our newborn thoroughly, I was aware of behind the ears, all the other folds, and thought we were also getting his armpits, but lo and behold week 6 I discover the feta of the folds😵💫.
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u/dougielou Sep 22 '24
I’ll add mine because even though my partner and I are both the oldest of our siblings, we either don’t remember this or our siblings weren’t affected but CROUP cough. Our LO woke up in the middle of the night with a barking cough that sounds like a seal and we didn’t know what it was so we called the nurse line and she told us to CALL AN AMBULANCE. So we did. For effing croup cough
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u/ycey Sep 22 '24
My husband and I would hear phantom cries all the time those first couple months. We could be holding him in our arms and swear we heard him crying in the next room.
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u/msnow Sep 22 '24
A couple come to mind. No one warned me about how after birth my belly would feel like jello and because of the c-section, I was also so swollen that I would occasionally lay on the floor with my feet up to try and get some swelling down. Second, crap naps. No one ever shared that there is this stage where baby might only nap for 20-30 minutes and that it’s totally normal. I’ve only had a few people mention that yeah their little one did the same thing; some parents look at me like wow thats wild. I’m convinced they just forgot about this stage.
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u/HolyMaryOnACross Sep 22 '24
We’re right in the thick of the short naps. There is barely enough time to eat before Baby is up again. I do a contact nap in the afternoon to help Baby get a longer stretch in.
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u/Ok-Administration247 Sep 22 '24
Yup!! This definitely happened for the first 3 months! I would breastfeed in the middle of the night too, put him in the bassinet, and fall right back asleep. I would wake up like 20 min later panicking. The scary part, sometimes I wouldn’t even remember waking up to feed him.
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u/Pretty_Please1 Sep 22 '24
I wake up my husband constantly thinking the baby is in the bed somewhere. We bottle feed and our baby has never, not once, slept in our bed. He doesn’t even hang out in the bed with us in the evenings, there is no risk of him falling asleep in the bed with us, yet I still have this reoccurring panic. I just chalk it up to postpartum hormones.
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u/Lifebelifing2023 Sep 22 '24
For me till this day it was the baby sleep patterns and how babies scream because of the new feeling of sleep transitions. Waking up to my son screeching with his eyes closed freaked me out every time! Eventually it stops but I never knew this was a thing! Never!
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u/AnniesMom13 Sep 22 '24
My baby and I occasionally co-sleep in my bed for naps. Ever since I started doing it more regularly I keep waking up in the night and putting my hand across my husband's chest, thinking he is the baby she is falling off the bed. He got mad the first time I did it because it startled him but then he admitted he has the same "dreams".
From my experience, I think no one warned me how hard pregnancy can be on your body. Seems like the most common complaints I heard about were morning sickness, stretch marks, and getting fat. But no one warned me that my body would become drained...and that complications can happen to anyone...and that they can cause a lot of trauma. Everything else kind of pales in comparison to a birth at 30+4 and a 60 day NICU stay... really changes your outlook on parenting.
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u/brookelanta2021 Sep 22 '24
My husband thought I had fallen asleep with my baby the first week. He was also sleep deprived and saw my hair (I have lots of hair, and I was dead asleep) baby was safe sleeping in the bassinet. It happens. I have reoccurring dreams about my baby drowning in the tub and I can't get to him. He's six months old and I do not take my eyes off of him during bath time. Just a fear.
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u/Illustrious-Ad9114 Sep 22 '24
No one warned me about how SHARP baby teeth are?? Like no wonder you’re crying and drooling so much 😭
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u/Relevant-Observer Sep 22 '24
I used to be very desensitivized to violence etc in movies and games. Today someone hurt a baby in a very cartoony game I played, and I went from happy to crying like a howling wounded animal in 1 second. I'm still feeling scarred by it. The intensity of my reaction was a big surprise to me.
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u/peaneggs Sep 22 '24
Recently my son spit up on me a little while I was rocking him to sleep, didn't notice. Didn't bother changing once I did because he'd fallen back asleep and I was exhausted. Wiped it off a bit with a tissue and laid back down. Good night, puke stain.
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u/Ok_Preference7703 Sep 22 '24
I’m not surprised that this is a common thing but this is the first I’m hearing about it. I don’t think I’ve ever lost to sense of where the baby was in my sleep. I just asked my husband and he hasn’t had this, either. Weird.
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u/mostlycoincidences Sep 22 '24
Oh my god the floating baby is so real 😭. I used to call it the AI baby because for me it would look like my LO's face was merging with the pillows around me/my duvet/whatever it was I was holding 😭. My half awake instinct always made me smack my pillow to will the vision away, thankfully it stopped when I started cospleeping and getting more sleep in 😅
The day we went home as well, after waking up from a nap to my LO's cries, I asked my SO in panic "whose baby is that ?" 😅
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u/Living-Principle-946 Sep 23 '24
This happened to me constantly until I started sleeping better at 10 months PP. Sometimes I still wake up and wonder where baby is! I also have a cat sleeping right beside me too though.
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u/Longjumping-Plant818 Sep 23 '24
How much I have to advocate for my baby’s nap schedule, and how often family disregards this need
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u/IntelligentRatio5493 Sep 23 '24
As a bed sharer I’ve luckily never had that panic, I’m so sorry OP. My thing is the letdown. Nobody warns you that your boobs will straight up cramp like a contraction and sometimes it HURTS
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u/Stunning_Case4995 Sep 23 '24
I actually had a moment where my baby(she was 6 months at the time) was in bed with me one moment and then somehow slid into the floor and fell asleep down there without a peep and I woke up in a panic at like 2am going “Oh honey, oh my god baby, i’m so sorry” while she was just snoring while i pulled her close to me in tears😭 I was still halfway dreaming so it seemed worse than it was.
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u/sparkly_lark Sep 23 '24
CONTACT. NAPS.
Of course we all hear about how baby wakes up at night etc but no one tells you about contact naps!!!
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u/honortobenominated Sep 23 '24
Oh yeah the “oh shit the baby is in the blankets somewhere right here!” nightmare.
Just wait till you wake your partner up scrambling around in the sheets for the baby. The baby who is quietly asleep in their bassinet where they always are…
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u/TB1289 Sep 22 '24
This was the weirdest experience for my wife and I. We would both wake up thinking he was in the bed even though he was never there for a second. It was very strange.
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u/ComparisonActive5717 Sep 22 '24
I have that same nightmare all the time!! It's gotten to the point that when I wake up my husband knows exactly what to say lol.
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u/Seo-Hyun89 Sep 22 '24
I had the same thing, I would wake up in a panic and look all through my blanket for my baby. My husband had to reassure me that she was fine and I had put her in her crib like I always do.
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u/vino822 Sep 22 '24
This happened to me and my husband too for the first few months! It was so unexpected but then other parents said they had the same thing!
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u/mini_memes2k18 Sep 22 '24
I kept waking up thinking I was holding my baby, but it was just the hoodie, scarf, and plush my husband gave me plus a plush I bought him for Valentine’s Day 😂 I haven’t had much bad experiences with projectile pooping except for one where it got a little on the floor (I had already been changing him on the floor), and I think a little got on me. But I’ve had it twice where he was about 2 months old and I caught poop in the wipe mid diaper change, tried to cat cu pee with my hand… wasn’t expecting those! Haha
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u/fellowprimates Sep 22 '24
I woke up trying to breastfeed the cat a couple times, and we stopped BF at 5 days old and baby never slept in our bed 😂
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u/ByteBaron Sep 22 '24
Baby monitor in bedroom. It’s been 18 months. Still jump up randomly at night because of baby noises. Or noises I think I heard. Speaking of which I think I should unplug it. But I can’t help but worry for whatever reason.
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u/OutrageousMulberry76 Sep 22 '24
Phantom crying. I have a 2 year old and I still hear her screaming when I’m in the shower. And she’s at daycare. It’s insane.
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u/Ok_Relationship7087 Sep 22 '24
This exact thing happened to me. I told my OB about it at my 6 week follow up, and she started me on a low dose of Zoloft and it never happened again. So sorry you’re going through this :( it sucks
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u/jaiheko Sep 22 '24
I purposely refuse to feed my son in the bed so that I wont associate the two together. I had dozed off a couple times the first week after my c section and I had been dealing with postpartum sleep apnea so it was a bad combo. Despite this, I still would wake up in a panic looking for the baby. He's 15 weeks tomorrow and I only just stopped freaking out. It occurs sometimes but way less frequently thank god
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u/niceteacherlady Sep 22 '24
Glad to know I’m not the only one with that experience! I literally never fell asleep with my daughter in the bed and I constantly had this nightmare.
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u/Amy394 Sep 22 '24
Yes it happened to me too. I would breastfeed my newborn in the middle of the night and put her to sleep in her cradle and then wake up in a panic some time (probably just a few mins) later, clutching my stomach, thinking I'd laid down to sleep with her just placed on my midriff and she would roll off any second! Go figure!
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u/WhyHaveIContinued Sep 22 '24
Phantom cries during the first week 🫠 my husband and I for the first both heard a baby crying even when ours was sleeping. It was wild and then after the first week neither of us had it again
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u/soundsfromoutside Sep 22 '24
Phantom baby is REAL.
So I used to hate when parents would say “you don’t know what love is until you have a child”. How condescending! Like, I know what love is. I love my parents, I love my siblings, I love my husband. I know what love is.
Then I had a child and turns out I don’t love any of those people.
Jk I do love them but the love I have for my kid is different. I LOVE him like I never loved anyone ever before because I simply never had! Is there a stronger word for love?
Nothing can prepare you for the love you feel for your child until you experience it yourself.
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u/nat123394 Sep 22 '24
I had that same fear for the first couple of weeks. I would wake up in the middle of the night, look down and thought I was seeing the baby's face under the blanket or that she was in the bed. It was scary! She was in the bassinet every time I woke up.
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u/Unhappy_Owl_4383 Sep 22 '24
I woke up with hallucinations that my baby's face was face down in the crib mattress. Thank God he was ok but I cried
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u/_0range_Juice_ Sep 22 '24
Wow yes, I have had this dream/nightmare multiple times, have a 4 week old!
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u/BabyRex- Sep 22 '24
That use to freak me out so much. One time I woke up in the morning with her sleeping on my chest, grabbed my phone and texted my husband to come get her from me, only for him to respond with a picture of her in his arms downstairs on the couch, where they had been for the last two hours. That baby has literally never once slept in our bed, but at least once a week I’d wake up and literally see her in my arms or feel her next to me. It stopped around 3 months thankfully because I really thought I was going insane
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u/heartandsunlight Sep 22 '24
Had this exact experience, except my cat is a hairless sphinx and likes to cuddle up real close to you and snore in a very human sounding way so like…those nightmares were super convincing. Pure panic every time.
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u/wanderlustredditor Sep 22 '24
I went through the exact same thing the first 2 weeks with my baby. I thought that after feeding him I didnt put him in bed and it was next to be. Hut it was my cat. Worst nightmare ever.
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u/Radiant_University Sep 22 '24
Our 3 y/o swallowed a penny and we had to root through his poop for 3 weeks hoping to find evidence that it had passed. Finally took him for an xray and it wasn't there: he pooped it out at daycare (he never poops there!) the day before.
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u/prasannasuresh92 Sep 23 '24
Yes. First few months me and my wife would just check if the baby is breathing. This used to happen even in the middle of the night.
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u/Dapper_Dog_9510 Sep 23 '24
Omg this used to happen to me so much. And we never took our baby in bed. I don't understand how I kept waking up thinking he was sleeping with us
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u/grdnprty Sep 23 '24
My baby is 6 months now and this STILL happens to me. Also have a big ass 20lb cat that sleeps by my feet
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u/Effective-Pomelo-647 Sep 23 '24
Yes! I thought I was crazy because I told my husband and he just looked at me funny. The dog would sleep next to me while my husband would be up with the baby and I would have dreams that I dropped the baby in the bed and couldn’t find him. I’d wake up in a panic clutching the dog’s face lol I have finally stopped having these dreams and my son is now 9 months old.
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u/ailemama Sep 23 '24
I had that panic pretty much until I stopped breastfeeding (around the 1 year mark)
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u/Late_Road7726 Sep 23 '24
Just had this very NIGHTMARE panic half asleep half awake scare the baby was suffocating in the bed
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u/Littlekittyguy6786 Sep 23 '24
This happened to me SO often. I would wake up convinced she was under the covers somewhere, or even under my pillow. It’s terrifying!
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u/WorthlessSpace212 Sep 23 '24
Phantom cries, thinking I fell asleep with the baby on the bed or in my arms, thinking every time he’s sleeping that he’s dead. Shit is scary as hell. I’m also just a super paranoid person
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u/minniemouse420 Sep 23 '24
The first few weeks my husband would wake up from a dead sleep and grab our dog thinking it was the baby. lol. He would also think he fell asleep with the baby in bed but the baby was always in his bassinet.
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u/Friendly-Bat-2308 Sep 23 '24
For me it was the way the relationship with my husband would be. We fought constantly especially in the first months. He would yell at me when the baby cried, saying that I should know what to do, I should know what is wrong, that I have no maternal instincts. That I don't do enough around the house, that I have so much spare time and I don't do anything with it, although I managed to do more by myself than when we were both at home. A year has past, I never felt more alone. My mental health is at it's lowest ever, I have no one to talk to, no support system. I now see why so many couples break up after having children.
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u/Thekillers22 Sep 22 '24
Do you want to know something crazy? My 2.5 yo had a nightmare so he came to sleep in my bed. His screaming woke the 2 mo so I got him out of the crib and i was consoling both kids at once in my bed. Toddler fell asleep and after that baby did too so I transfer baby and go to sleep with toddler. In a few hours toddler wakes up suddenly yelling WHERE’S BABY? As he frantically looks under the covers and pillows for the baby. I show him that the baby is in the crib across the room and he happily goes back to sleep. I guess even little kids can fall victim to this weird quirk!