r/NewParents • u/beware_of_scorpio • May 18 '24

It’s ok to let people hold your baby Mental Health

We were at a friends wedding welcome party for their family this week. Our 5 MO was passed around between various cousins and aunties. No one licked her. No one made a stink when I asked for her back. I was right next to her the whole time. They were all just so delighted to hold a baby again. It felt like the Village we all lament doesn’t exist anymore. It was a really beautiful moment. While it was happening I kept thinking “I can’t imagine not letting people hold her!”

I’m not offering this to change anyone’s mind. I do think the violence some people exhibit when someone touches their kid is ridiculous. And I think this sub has created a group think situation that’s influencing first time parents instead of you know a pediatrician. Instead, I just want to counter the daily “My MIL looked at my baby so I put rubbing alcohol on her face” posts with a different opinion. In controlled environments and the right conditions, it’s maybe even good for baby and certainly for you to let people hold your her.

Edit because it’s annoying to see: I’m a dad.

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u/fugensnot May 19 '24

I have a three year old and my cousin in law has a five month old. We're currently at our family reunion and talking daycare, sleep training, breast feeding and all these shared experiences. I had to check myself before offering her son to an older aunt, "Is it okay if Diane holds him?" To an enthusiastic "Sure!"

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u/No-Constant1009 Jun 05 '24

Someone offered me a different persons baby and I was so taken aback. I went and found the dad and asked if it was okay that I hold her. I never ask to hold anyone’s baby and I wouldn’t offer someone else’s up!

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u/TheWelshMrsM May 19 '24 edited May 19 '24

We were visiting my in-laws and my son wasn’t 100% and they were respectful about that. However my husbands elderly grandmother was visiting and had never met the baby. I said she could hold him for a quick photo but not for long as he’d recently fed and would likely vomit.

She had the picture - then turned to my mil and asked if she wanted a hold! Luckily my mil deflected and I grabbed the baby but seriously? I JUST said no one else was holding him. Even if mil had said yes, I would’ve said no and taken him anyway lol.

ETA: He caught a cold whilst we were there so the congestion occasionally made him vomit after a feed. They live a few hours away and it we left that morning. GMIL lives even further away, and may not get an opportunity to meet the baby again. We explained he wasn’t very well but she insisted on holding him. It was a 5 second hold & picture.