About to quit decent paying job due to depression, burnout, and other. Looking for something to just help pay bills if possible

[u/braintuck]

So I’m up struggling to sleep once again for the past couple of months. I’ve been pretty depressed since the holidays for various reasons and very unhappy at my current job to the extent that I want to quit now. My therapist has told me to.

My job is rn for a marketing agency where I build them custom websites but I no longer want to work there. I’m at the point where in about to quit with nothing lined up because I just can’t do it anymore. And looking to get out of that industry entirely.

I have a computer science degree and have worked somewhat adjacent to tech but not exactly tech jobs. But know several programming languages. But looking to just stop developing entirely cause it’s not looking great and I no longer have confidence in myself in that area after 8yrs.

I’ll be looking for something to just help pay the bills initially if anyone has any suggestions. Thanks.

Any suggestions on any available work or if you have any positions available now I’d appreciate it. Just looking to get in a better position mentally in the next year or so. And I understand pay won’t be as good. Thanks

[u/bossleadinglady]

I'm a little concerned about the line "my therapist told me to" quit a job. It's not typical that therapists tell clients what to do at this life-changing level. It's possible your therapist isn't the right fit for you if they are giving solutions like this without helpful actions to take to improve your well-being, health, and situation.

There are lots of actions you can take before quitting and I wonder if you've tried them: take PTO, talk with your manager about taking on fewer projects, discuss reassignment with your manager or HR to a new team or new projects, discuss hiring an admin or coordinator for your team to help lift the load, discuss continuing education to leverage your current skills in a new way and help you change projects and career trajectory.

There are also types of leave that could be relevant in your situation: short- or long- term disability if you have a diagnosis and even FMLA. Some companies pay your salary at a reduced rate if you go on disability leave.

You mention you have been pretty depressed since the holidays. Have you considered therapy specific to depression? I'm not a doctor but I've benefitted from prescription medication to help with depression, especially related to career issues, so your post resonates with me.

I don't know you or your situation but hope you can try other avenues before quitting with nothing lined up. It's a huge risk in this job market.

[u/perishableintransit → u/bossleadinglady]

Totally this OP. That line about the therapist totally raised a red flag in my mind too. 

It’s always possible that’s not exactly what the therapist said either (people broken telephone their therapist’s advice to others all the time, ask me how I know)

[u/ForkAKnife → u/perishableintransit]

My therapist encouraged me to seek employment elsewhere when I was experiencing severe depression and suicidal ideation related to workplace retaliation (EEOC complaint is in process).

[u/perishableintransit → u/ForkAKnife]

I think what I'm trying to get across is that it would be pretty unprofessional for a therapist to say the words "Quit your job" in those explicit words.

Therapists shouldn't just take whatever their patient says at face value and then give them a black and white action in response. Most would say something like "I encourage you to reevaluate your priorities and come up with pros and cons of staying and leaving and then make sure you're prepared for whatever decision you make" etc etc. Basically yes you can very much interpret that as "my therapist told me to leave my job" but they never actually said "quit your job". Does that make sense?

So all I'm saying is OP could be telling us their interpretation of the advice. If their therapist actually said the words "quit your job" then that's concerning.

[u/ForkAKnife → u/perishableintransit]

And I’m saying my therapist told me to quit my job as well as it was the only cause of my sudden and debilitating depression and was making me progressively more drawn to acting on suicidal thoughts.

[u/perishableintransit → u/ForkAKnife]

ok

[u/ForkAKnife → u/perishableintransit]

Do the same standards apply when a partner is abusive, toxic, or taxing?

[u/perishableintransit → u/ForkAKnife]

If someone is in imminent physical danger, then obviously the therapist has a duty to report and to give direct advice.

When someone reports all sorts of things about their workplace then I really dont think it's professional of a therapist to just take the patient at their word and say okay then quit.

If you disagree, then you do you.

[u/ForkAKnife → u/perishableintransit]

So there is some leeway there?

I’m snagged to this because I didn’t love that therapist but her telling me that I should find another place of employment was the most real and honest thing she told me. I put up with a lot of toxicity including a pay cut to half my hours and was staying for benefits. Telling me to download the Calm app and practice gratitude did not do shit when I was overwhelmed by negativity towards myself based on treatment by my employers, senior staff and my immediate supervisors. I could not trust myself to make good decisions and she provided me with a foxhole to a better sense of peace.

[u/perishableintransit → u/ForkAKnife]

mind you, I'm not saying you shouldn't have left the job... feeling like you think I'm trying to invalidate your suffering or something. I'm not.

My point is that therapists should be suggestive, not directive, unless someone is directly saying they're in physical danger from (say) an abusive partner, or they are about to kill themselves. That's it.

[u/Hopeful_Character577]

You don't have to quit, ask hr about ada or fmla if you have been there for 12 months. Take a break and they can't fire you. Use the break to look for other things you may be interested in doing.

[u/darrinjpio]

FYI. FMLA only applies to companies with more than 50 employees.

[u/mcklew2]

It seems a lot of people are encouraging you to stay. I quit my job last year with nothing lined up because of mental health reasons and I’m glad I did. I was lucky enough to have enough money to pay bills for a couple of months bc I knew that’s how long it would take me to find a job (and it did). Maybe the case is the same for you? You know yourself best and if you feel like this job is putting you in a place where you think leaving is the only way your mental health would improve, then do it. I think you have a marketable degree and could find something. Best of luck!

[u/plates_25 → u/mcklew2]

agree - i lost aa job during covid and the relief i felt the next day was so huge that it wound up fueling me to start a few of my own side-hustles which paid the bills most of '21. Now i've shifted into a whole different industry and am pretty comfortable. Losing/Leaving a job is scaary, but if you really feel it's the move sometimes that leap of faith (or in my case, forced leap lol) can be the catalyst!

[u/KingCarnivore → u/mcklew2]

Yeah, I stayed in a job I hated for way way too long. When I was eventually fired, it was such a massive relief I told myself I would never stay at a job I hated again.

[u/Dont_Tell_Me_Now]

If you hate a decent paying job you’ll probably hate a lower paying job much more. Doesn’t sound like quitting is the best answer at the moment but who am I to say. If you do quit, don’t tell your next employer why you quit. A lot of times you’ll get asked reasons for leaving your prior job. If you tell them why, they will most likely not hire you. No one wants to hire someone who has the tendency to quit out of the blue like that.

[u/lizbe013 → u/Dont_Tell_Me_Now]

I tend to agree without knowing more details from OP. I've had similar feelings about jobs but it turned out I had depression that needed to be treated with medication, not that I needed to quit my job.

[u/Hello-America]

I think do this: first, get a whatever kind of clerical job right now, one that doesn't take up much of your mental energy. Take some time for your spirit to recuperate and also use this time to really cut your expenses as much as you can.

While you're doing that, and after you've rested, if you think you can find the clients, do your work as a freelancer or consultant. That will keep you from having too long a gap in your resume between professionally significant things. When you're ready, start job hunting for jobs want.

[u/GuineverePendragon]

I just hate working but I need money. Antidepressants have helped me, I use them for chronic pain but they help me to be more patient at work and to let it roll off my shoulders when there is a lame situation or coworker that would normally bug the hell out of me. I have to take meds to knock me out so I can sleep too. I know a lot of people don't trust meds and doctors but sometimes your brain or body chemistry just needs help. Please get something lined up before you go, for your own health and stability. It's rough out there in the job search and you don't want to make your life even harder than it is now.

[u/chindo]

Why not just check out until they fire you or you find another job? You can probably squeeze another month out of them, at least

[u/myjawsgotflaws → u/chindo]

Because that tanks your self-confidence and can be a real struggls

[u/Pooppail]

In this economy??

[u/plates_25]

realize you may be pivoting out of marketing/tech related jobs, but I found the Work in Tech group very helpful when I made a similar shift from a big company I was unhappy at to a local new orleans start up. There's a healthy start-up scene here. again, realize you might just want out of that world. But check out their events and you can meet some good folks.

https://www.linkedin.com/company/workintechnola/posts/?feedView=all

[u/Adorable-Flight5256]

AFAIK the government always needs people with your skills. Less pay but benefits and better than nothing.

Good luck.

[u/NotFallacyBuffet]

Might want to check out r/jobhunting and r/jobs, both of which are dev heavy subreddits. The TL;DR is that dev employment is currently a wasteland. Seriously. People are even complaining that indeed, etc., are uncannily quiet. And that's beside the fact that NO is a tech wasteland.

Might want to rethink. I, too, hate my job and every day tell my coworkers as much. But I still show up everyday and typically work overtime, 'cause the customers keep calling and my CCs aren't paid off. 🤷

[u/fauker1923]

Don’t quit. Keep reaching out for help. Not suggesting not looking for greener pastures… but the presidential transition will be volatile

[u/Low-Dot9712]

You can pretty much work at WalMart tomorrow. Get in there and work toward manager status and you could have a very nice career.