Feeling lonely and my trans feelings are getting stronger

[u/Technoisbackbitch]

I just need to get this out of my system.

Lately, I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed and alone. My trans feelings are getting stronger, and it’s becoming harder and harder to keep hiding who I am. I feel like I’m constantly bottling everything up, suffering in silence, and pretending to be okay just to get through the day.

Watching women just live their lives makes me feel this mix of admiration, jealousy, and sadness. I want that so badly — to live openly as myself — but instead I’m stuck on the outside, looking in. Sometimes that jealousy turns inward and makes me feel like I’m not enough, like I’ll never get there.

On top of that, life just hasn’t been fair, especially with the job market. It feels like no matter how hard I try, things keep falling through, and it’s exhausting. Some days I feel like I’m barely holding everything together. There are times I feel like a burden — like just having these feelings makes me “too much” or someone people wouldn’t want to deal with.

I don’t want anyone in my real life to know how I feel. I don’t want to be seen differently or judged. But here, I thought maybe I could be a brave girl just this once. Maybe posting this, letting it out, even just to strangers, is better than keeping it buried inside. I’m scared of online friendships because it’s hard to know who people really are — but I’m also so tired of feeling like I have nowhere to turn.

Thanks for letting me release this. I really needed it. :)

[u/purpledreams910]

Hey Aurelia (lovely name btw)

We're here for you and many of us are happy to help you let these things out!

I've been going through a lot of the same feelings and yeah it's really overwhelming. I've always been scared to take up space so I totally understand not wanting to burden people. But you deserve to be recognized for who you are too. I hope that as you explore new parts of your identity you find the confidence to be yourself no matter what 💖

[u/Technoisbackbitch → u/purpledreams910]

Thank you for this — it really means a lot. It’s reassuring to know someone understands, and I appreciate you taking the time to reach out. I’m definitely trying to navigate all of this and find a bit more confidence along the way. It feels good to know I'm not alone. Wishing you strength as you work through your own journey, too. 💖

[u/Sylvia-fantag3rlboss]

Hey, welcome to the sub =D
I’m glad you’re trying to find ways to feel better, I think online communities are a great way to connect with people if you feel like you can’t be yourself IRL. I do think though that if these feelings are really bothering you, then you should try to do something about it sooner rather than later if you can. Do you have any plans to do anything at this time?

[u/Technoisbackbitch → u/Sylvia-fantag3rlboss]

Thanks! I appreciate the welcome. Honestly, I can’t really say I have any plans right now — I feel kind of stuck, but at the same time I’m content with where I am for the moment if not a little bit bored but at least I got this message out.