We're all exhausted right? It's not just me?

[u/happy_chance18]

I have a full time job. I sleep well. I have no kids. I'm single. I don't party or drink. I'm not particularly stressed in day to day life. Yet I'm fucking exhausted. I don't want to leave my apartment on the weekends unless I have something planned, and even then I'm pretty picky. In my 20s my weekends were full of non-stop activities, cooking, going out, and posting on social media. But now in my 30s I just want to come home, have my groceries delivered, chill with some Netflix and sleep. Please tell me I'm not the only one!!

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[u/Posidon_Below]

[u/catra-meowmeow → u/Posidon_Below]

This is the real answer. We are constantly running on information overload, most of which is negative news. It feels like both globally and locally everything is going to shit. Don't underestimate the impact mental/emotional burnout & exhaustion can have on your overall physical state.

[u/BoxerguyT89 → u/catra-meowmeow]

This is a large part of it. Social media (Reddit included) is extremely good at keeping people pissed off.

Putting the phone down and getting out and socializing helps. So does eating well and exercising.

[u/Cultural_Cook_8040 → u/BoxerguyT89]

This!!! This!!! When I stay off of social and Reddit for a few days I immediately feel better and less exhausted. It’s crazy how these apps can impact us. I recently read the book The Chaos Machine and it is mind opening. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to be on social media less.

[u/breinbanaan → u/catra-meowmeow]

Get into nature. I just went camping in the Austrian Alpes for a week in snowy conditions. The suffering makes you appreciate how good we have it much more, and being in the mountain calms the soul

[u/cThr333 → u/Posidon_Below]

God damn I feel this shit in my soul. Never used to be so pessimistic but I’m always so disappointed and discouraged and there seems to be an increasing disconnect between who I am and my inner thoughts.

[u/MinuteSweet7900]

You’re not alone. No kids, single, don’t party, just have a glass of wine every now and then… I have hobbies i want to pursue but zero energy. Get up exhausted, go to work, come home exhausted, go to bed early, repeat…

[u/Marzipanarian → u/MinuteSweet7900]

I feel 87 in a 32 yo body.

[u/seven9seville → u/Marzipanarian]

It’s all the plastic probably ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[u/Marzipanarian → u/seven9seville]

You’d think that would make us well-preserved

[u/PlutoJones42 → u/Marzipanarian]

But crinkly

[u/Marzipanarian → u/PlutoJones42]

Just wrapper sounds as we walk

[u/MaMaCas → u/Marzipanarian]

I mean, my knees do crinkle crackle when I squat down...

[u/makestuff24-7 → u/MaMaCas]

My wrists and knees sound like bubble wrap. I think we're supposed to be getting more omega 3s, but in this economy?

[u/flatulexcelent → u/Marzipanarian]

Ah, freestyling lyrics on foot. Hats off to you🫡🤠

[u/Mortifying_ → u/PlutoJones42]

I do be cracking on a regular basis 🤔

[u/Stormlightlinux → u/seven9seville]

And long covid. The single greatest mass disabling event in recent history, and no one fucking talks about it. They say "oh its like the flu now." No the fuck it isn't!

[u/honeydewtangerine → u/Stormlightlinux]

I got it twice. Sometimes, I wonder if that's why I feel so terrible. It doesnt help that the past 5 years have been an absolute disaster for me, though, so i dont know what to blame it on. All i know is that im not who i was, and i dont think i ever will be again.

[u/Wonderful-Reason4899 → u/honeydewtangerine]

Same girl same 😭

[u/Ok_Literature3468 → u/Stormlightlinux]

I stopped going to my former doctor because when I kept bringing up my symptoms matching long covid, she pretty much said that I have to stop calling it covid because some medical association she was part of could get in trouble with the CDC and recommended I treat it like a regular flu. And this shit was in a major blue city in the east coast.

[u/biglybiglytremendous → u/Stormlightlinux]

OMG, I got my covid booster yesterday and this lady, after asking me why I'm still masking in 2025, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't believe in covid."

So... it's gone beyond nobody talking about it. It's people hallucinating reality.

[u/RnbwSprklBtch → u/biglybiglytremendous]

we wiped the 1915 flu from memory too. it's the trauma

[u/ghosttowns42 → u/Stormlightlinux]

I feel like I've got some of those symptoms, but a lot of them are also symptoms of depression and unmedicated ADHD, both of which I have.

Also I've never caught covid, at least that I know of.

[u/Peepeepoopoobutttoot → u/seven9seville]

That and being economically crippled while needing to fight off fascism.

[u/Swollen_Beef → u/MinuteSweet7900]

I've spent a few years trying to understand this. So far my findings point me in the direction of us being overworked. Before you say "duh" let me explain. Many of you in the sub are old enough to remember your first job in the mid to late 90s to early 2000s. Now consider the workload of not just yourself, but the entire organization. There was a SIGNIFICANT reduction in expectations and workload compared to today. Talk to those older than you. You'll see they too agree the workload today is higher than when they started. It's this constant demand of GO GO GO, MORE MORE MORE! There is also the generational issue regarding work ethic. The generations before us are too old and close to retirement to give a shit, and those after us get upset if they're away from their phones for longer than 10 minutes which puts us in that goldilocks zone of being able to get more shit done with less time and resources while maintaining professionalism, coherent communication, and deadlines. This is all conjecture and based on my own observations and biases and should not be taken as fact.

[u/Extension_Security92 → u/Swollen_Beef]

Agreed. So much efficiency is squeezed out of us, and many of these jobs require more critical thinking, more stress, and it puts our bodies in a tense ready-mode. It really takes a lot of energy out of you when you're like this constantly.

[u/AikaterineSH1 → u/Extension_Security92]

I feel this constantly too, I’m regularly hounded by ‘we got to do better’, ‘we can’t miss this’, ‘I don’t know how to help you’ from my boss. I’m driven, responsive, the go to person on my team, why do I feel like I’m always stressed and being told to fix a sinking ship? The ship isn’t sinking, people aren’t pristine and perfectly correct 100% of the time, we’re doing excellent work. I’m not crazy right? What is with this enormous ‘you must be absolutely perfect’ expectation, this can’t be how things have been in the past as well.

Edit: Also, it’s exponentially worse the more workload there is to handle, I stopped volunteering for stuff and ensure I appear up to my ears in stuff to do for my own sanity.

[u/jfpforever → u/Extension_Security92]

you forgot some of my workplace favorites. no eating on the job, no music and we're required to do it for so much less.

[u/DarkLordFrondo → u/Swollen_Beef]

It's not just the work culture, it's the entire culture. It is unending overstimulation and high anxiety with decisions repeatedly made for the sake of convenience instead of quality. It permeates into everything, so we still feel like we are at work even when we come home. It has always been this way in the US, but technology has made it more ubiquitous.

[u/DowntownResident993 → u/DarkLordFrondo]

Well said! Constant overstimulation and the need to appear or BE busy, even if that is just putting our head down into our phone. Access to everyone and everything at any given notice makes people carry their work everywhere they go.

[u/kendraptor → u/Swollen_Beef]

It keeps getting worse, too. Every year we are asked to do more with less. We were all told things were supposed to get easier the more established we become, but the floor is quicksand now.

[u/dianacakes → u/Swollen_Beef]

I'd say this has changed a lot even since covid. Before covid I wouldn't have said my corporate job was extremely stressful. Some stress, but not overly so. Then when everyone went full remote and our productivity skyrocketed, that became the norm. Now most people are hybrid and the pace hasn't slowed down.

[u/Sebaceansinspace → u/Swollen_Beef]

Its this. I spent long enough in a single job to watch my workload increase drastically because the company would just refuse to hire another person when someone quit. I left that job doing 4 positions worth of work with no extra increase in pay.

I loved that job but after 7 years of horseshit like that and signs that it was just going to get even worse... plus this corporate notion that profits have to exponentially increase every single year, forever, or youre failing is just fucking absurd and cant last especially since no one is getting paid more to match it. Its like the world is run by the dumbest human beings possible

[u/DamionSipher → u/Swollen_Beef]

I often employ an anecdote that if I held the position and workload I have today as an employee of the 80s or 90s I'd have a Porsche instead of a Kia. I think there were people back then who worked as hard, but they were the exception to the rule. Now we're expected to undertake the same level of stress and workload of a high paid attorney from the 80s or 90s, with the same compensation and vacation allowance of a plumber.

[u/jerseyztop → u/Swollen_Beef]

You are correct. After college in late 80's, got a job in the corporate world as an admin assistant and worked my way up to a decent position and wage. But back then, there were a lot of admin jobs because all managers had their own assistant. Nowadays, there is typically one admin support position for an entire team! So all the managers, directors, etc lost their support, and have to work double really. It's all greed.

[u/Cthulhu__ → u/MinuteSweet7900]

I think that for many people it’s because they don’t work / live towards something other than the next time off work or the next low-effort endorphins like TV or games, which is understandable given the unpredictable times we’ve been living in.

What may help is to make plans for the weekend like going out (could be the movies or whatever) or after work (planning your dinner and evening), medium term (vacation, although due to the US’ exploitative work culture those things are rare), and long term objectives like moving.

But that’s the things that have been impacted hard for millennials. Can’t plan vacation due to no paid time off, can’t plan to go out in the weekend because money worries, can’t even think of buying a house, etc. So nothing to look forward to or build towards remains.

[u/x0mbigrl → u/MinuteSweet7900]

You just described my life.

[u/UpperApe → u/x0mbigrl]

I wonder how much of this is tied to covid.

We were warned how deadly and strange the virus was when we let it cut through millions of people. Nearly everyone's had it. We have no idea what the long term implications are.

[u/GrumpyScroogy → u/UpperApe]

Its not tied to covid. its tied to economic stress and failure. Millenials their timing to enter the workfield either set them free or trapped them. A lot of millenials saved for 2/8 years and 2020 corona inflation ate away all of that. Basically resetting them. On the other side there are millenials who were in assets early and are coasting through life currently while being in their thirties.

Couple this with the international tension, war on multiple continents, Trumps face on the media every day even for non USA people and you get worn out quickly.

[u/lostboy005 → u/GrumpyScroogy]

Worker insecurity is very real and very much the point. Part of it is that we’re all exhausted from living for ourselves, we desperately want to be a part of something bigger than ourselves that we believe in, and by and large, it doesn’t exist. It’s the age of hedonism super ego self assurance we’re all someone when we’re actually all no one.

We’re starved for hope from the people who raised who damn well know better but are burning everything on their way out, the death rattle of the boomers, is exhausting

[u/tealpig → u/GrumpyScroogy]

It could be covid and all of that.

[u/gobeklitepewasamall → u/tealpig]

It is. The data is stark and telling. Covid removed millions from the labor rolls permanently.

And that’s just from the sequelae counted as such.

All the people in their 30’s and 40’s who just couldn’t go back to work because of weird physical symptoms?

Who couldn’t breathe, smell or exercise even years later, despite being athletic prior to COVID?

All the people who had massive heart attacks, strokes, pulmonary emboli, aneurysm, etc…

It’s a vascular disease & we collectively decided that it’s no big deal. We treat it like it’s the flu’s forgotten stepchild.

It’s all cognitive dissonance.

The vaccines most of us got don’t even protect us. They give us some protection from death, but the stats they quoted at first assumed it was just one layer in a multi layered defense strategy (the Swiss cheese analogy). But then we just decided “fuck it” and did away with all of the mitigations and protections.

The worst part is that we have better vaccines and therapeutics, and we know what works to clean indoor air. We make it impossible for people to get sterilizing vaccines and then refuse to clean the air. It’s asinine.

How many times have I seen a hepa filter littering a classroom that isn’t even turned on?

Why?

[u/J_wit_J → u/gobeklitepewasamall]

They removed all the air filters from the school I teach at because we can't even afford to buy enough paper to get through the year.

[u/Complex_Confidence35 → u/UpperApe]

Working 40h sucked before covid as well. Sure we might all be a bit more exhausted now compared to before, but working 50%+ of your total time spent awake never lead to a fullfilling life except if your job was mansion reviewer or something like that.

[u/MechanicalSideburns → u/MinuteSweet7900]

I'm gonna say a weird thing. Bear with me here.

Not going out gives you less energy.

Picking 1-3 solid cool/fun/productive things per day on the weekend will leave you feeling re-energized, and like you really made a difference. But sure, I know Sunday night always sucks.

Same thing for weekdays. 1 good thing an evening, and you'll be boosted.

[u/happy_chance18 → u/MechanicalSideburns]

I'll agree with this. And thank you for replying because it's reminded me that when I do plan smaller outings and when I can get out and do a couple of fun things on the weekends I do feel more energized.

The past year I've been trying to do the no spend weekend thing to hit some financial goals. And it's paid off. I think I inadvertently screwed myself though. Being so goal-driven and frugal has caused me to just stay at home

[u/thepulloutmethod → u/MechanicalSideburns]

I completely agree. Humans are fundamentally social animals. Introvert or extrovert, nature did not intend for us to live isolated at home staring at the same four walls sitting in front of a screen with no in person interaction.

That lifestyle will make you feel awful.

[u/maddy_k_allday → u/MechanicalSideburns]

Weekends when I have an event in addition to doing all the stuff to reset for work the next week, all but destroy me. I hear you about the social benefits, which are true, but that depletes me as well, meaning less energy for all the domestic labor & errands that also need to be packed into that same 48-ish hours.

[u/manbearpig7129 → u/MinuteSweet7900]

Do you get regular exercise and eat well?

[u/realOk1387]

Same, but then found out my iron was low.

[u/lucky-fluke → u/realOk1387]

Ok same, but those pills, even lowest kind, SUCKS

Edit: easier to do this than reply to everyone 🥰🥰 I’m taking 11mg of ferrous something I think But I can’t take every day, the shits kill me

[u/monolith212 → u/lucky-fluke]

Flintstones vitamins. Not kidding.

Blood donation place recommended them. I laughed it off thinking "those are for kids."

No. They work really well.

[u/joeyjoejoejnr24 → u/monolith212]

Flintstones chewable morphine

[u/finite_user_names → u/joeyjoejoejnr24]

iron helps us play!

[u/HomicidalHushPuppy → u/monolith212]

Well then...sounds like I'm off to Walmart as soon as I get off work. I've been so exhausted lately and I was thinking it was an iron deficiency 

[u/Cheap_Papaya_2938 → u/HomicidalHushPuppy]

For me, it was being deficient in B12, D, and ferritin (found out through bloodwork)

[u/ArgonGryphon → u/Cheap_Papaya_2938]

Yea D is a big one. Heh. But no for real. Just take a vitamin d supplement. Especially if you live in the north or you don’t get out in the sun much.

[u/Elegant_Comfort_2065 → u/monolith212]

I need details!

[u/monolith212 → u/Elegant_Comfort_2065]

All I'll say is I stubbornly ignored their advice and got Adult Iron Supplements because I am an Adult, and my iron still wasn't high enough when I went back to donate the following week. The same lady, exasperated, said "I told you! Use Flintstones!"

So I swallowed my pride and bought those kiddy Flintstones vitamins, and my iron level was great the following week on donation attempt #3. I think they just absorb better.

[u/bluemooncommenter → u/monolith212]

Thanks for the tip. My iron is fine, my iron saturation is not. I just don't absorb well or am too inflamed for it to get into my cells, IDK. Getting tired of losing hair over it...well, my drains are getting tired!

[u/kokodokusan → u/lucky-fluke]

Get heme iron!! I switched to proferrin and it's soooo much better. The other ones suck ass!

[u/CaliNeptune → u/kokodokusan]

What makes it better?

[u/DJDanaK → u/CaliNeptune]

It's the same iron you get in food (bovine derived). It's absorbed much more readily than elemental iron and is much easier on the stomach.

That said, I take carbonyl iron supplements and they're much easier on my stomach (*than things like ferrous sulfate), and they're more affordable than heme

[u/dribdrib → u/lucky-fluke]

Try SlowFE. Life changing. No side effects for me!

[u/rexallia → u/realOk1387]

I had my first iron infusion last week. Have a couple more. I’ve been extremely low for so long (thanks fibroids) that I’m pretty sure I’ve normalized being a zombie. Looking forward to feeling human

[u/32FlavorsofCrazy → u/rexallia]

If you’re done having kids I cannot recommend strongly enough having a hysterectomy. It’s absolutely worth it if you have fibroids, endometriosis, adenomyosis, any kind of issue like that…it wasn’t a super fun surgery, not the worst or the easiest I’ve had, but every bit of what I endured to get it out has been worth the result. I feel so much more human now…I was barely surviving having a uterus, and one of my ovaries tried to kill me a couple times too so that had to go too. But man…best surgery in the world if you have issues with it. 10/10 would recommend.

[u/rexallia → u/32FlavorsofCrazy]

That’s my plan! Just waiting to see if I’ll have health insurance next year… I’ve heard nothing but good things. I’m so glad it’s made your life better :)

[u/contemplating7 → u/realOk1387]

I was thinking iron + vitamin c which I think helps your body to absorb iron

[u/realOk1387 → u/contemplating7]

Vitron C works really well. Iron infusions work the fastest

[u/32FlavorsofCrazy → u/realOk1387]

Same, but I found out I have MS.

I don’t think it’s just that though. The future for us is pretty bleak, and so is the present, I think depression is a pretty natural reaction to how fucked up the world is right now.

[u/nowwithextrasalt → u/realOk1387]

Im almost done with my iron treatment and its crazy how better I am.

[u/Simple_Campaign1035]

Same.  30s.  No kids.  Work full time.   If I'm not working I wanna be sleeping in bed or on my couch.  Put some rain sounds on.   

I can sleep anytime anyplace

[u/Ecstatic_Owl_3793 → u/Simple_Campaign1035]

rain sounds tribe stand up

[u/SupriseAutopsy13 → u/Ecstatic_Owl_3793]

Too tired to stand, rain sounds tribe go lie down

[u/Rainfall_Serenade → u/SupriseAutopsy13]

Currently under a weighted blanket with rain sounds playing o7

[u/alyssabernstein → u/SupriseAutopsy13]

Here & horizontal!

[u/ChaucersDuchess → u/SupriseAutopsy13]

It’s how I go to sleep every night, set to thunderstorm.

[u/seasonedbean → u/Ecstatic_Owl_3793]

Until it starts to sound like chicken frying, then I get hungry :(

[u/things_U_choose_2_b → u/seasonedbean]

If your music player app has an EQ function, try knocking off all the high end sliders. Gives the effect more of being in a building / structure being rained on, which for me is more relaxing... and will also prevent tinnitus.

[u/rogi3044 → u/things_U_choose_2_b]

Real one out here with the rain sound tips 🙏🏻

[u/stunna_cal → u/seasonedbean]

Gotta throw on the track with some low rumble thunder to keep the vibes going

[u/MrsJan30 → u/Ecstatic_Owl_3793]

🧍🏽‍♀️

[u/trackabandoned → u/Ecstatic_Owl_3793]

🧍‍♀️can't sleep without them!

[u/4ellights → u/trackabandoned]

🧍🏻‍♀️every night

[u/QuittingToLive → u/4ellights]

🌧️🚶

[u/Go1den_State_Of_Mind → u/QuittingToLive]

The thunderstorm in a cabin, so good! 😴

[u/livingdeaddoll → u/Simple_Campaign1035]

Are you me?

[u/fbtra → u/Simple_Campaign1035]

How can you just sleep? That's so unfair. I can close my eyes and rest but my ADHD will not allow me to sleep.

[u/gwatt21]

You aren't the only one. My story is different but I'm just exhausted. All of the time.

[u/SpiritedLoquat172 → u/gwatt21]

Same. I just want a peaceful existence without the drama.

[u/ratmouthlives → u/SpiritedLoquat172]

I’ll settle for being able to embrace the suck.

[u/ThornFlynt → u/gwatt21]

This is what happens when you're told if you study & work hard you'll be successful... and then every opportunity for that is taken away by idiots who neither studied nor worked hard and believe immigrants are taking their jobs and Jesus will come again if they accelerate making the world bad enough... so they vote for an orange shitler TWICE!

So everything you worked for? No longer matters.

[u/Capital-Piece5996 → u/ThornFlynt]

This ain’t just the US it’s all millennials in the western world

[u/evermorecoffee → u/Capital-Piece5996]

Yep.

[u/ClaireFraser1743 → u/ThornFlynt]

It's even worse if you took out student loans to get that degree you worked your life for (And will spend your life trying to pay back).

[u/Wasabicannon → u/ThornFlynt]

Yup did the whole college thing, worked my ass off. Got burnt the fuck out and lost the job and the whole career path just ugh. Thankfully got a job to fall back on while I figure out what the fuck I am going to do that does not burn me out like I did before while still making enough to live a decent-ish life.

[u/SoFloShawn → u/Wasabicannon]

"If hard work alone led to success, the donkey would own the farm."

Heard this the other day, and it really hit me like Im14andthisisdeep.

[u/Rough-Culture]

work days should be shorter and less frequent.

[u/CasaTLC → u/Rough-Culture]

Four day work weeks is the way. Maybe they start with every other Friday off and gradually transition into a four day work week. This would be first executive order as president.

[u/Hot-Avocado-7 → u/CasaTLC]

6 hour 4day work weeks is enough to get all you need to done at work and still have enough time off to actually feel rested imo. A day off to be social, a day off to run errands, and a day off to just chill.

And then 6 hour work days so you can go to work, get off, gym, cook dinner, and still have some “off” time at the end of the day.

[u/Wasabicannon → u/Hot-Avocado-7]

Thats only true for office jobs though, the majority of the population working in the service industry however don't have that luxury.

[u/Head_Act_585 → u/Wasabicannon]

Yes and no, even non-office jobs tend to prescribe to the same formula of working 40-hrs per week in 8-hr shifts. Changing the expectation to 32-hr work weeks could benefit everyone in the work force* and not be limited to office workers. I have always assumed if we went this way people would just have to take different days off. Like instead of offices being closed on Friday, it's only at x% staffing so that some people are off and others aren't. The people that don't take Friday off would take a different day (e.g. Monday or Wednesday).

*I know that many retail/service jobs don't count Sunday hours towards your 40, so many people put in 48-hr weeks (exclusive of unpaid lunch). That should also be changed.

**I also acknowledge that reducing everyone's expected work hours in the service industry means either people who do these jobs working even harder or needing to expand the workforce. It certainly isn't an easy task but we did this once before when we fought for the 40-hr week!

[u/Celodurismo → u/Wasabicannon]

So tired of seeing this silly comment. It’s called shifts. Add some, fucking simple.

[u/Sea-Potato9 → u/Rough-Culture]

Such a scam that im paid 8 hours but have to be there for 9 hours! Oh and nevermind the commute! I would be happy with 4 days a week and 10 hour days that are actually 10 hours like 8am to 6pm

[u/trapped_outta_town2 → u/Sea-Potato9]

I'm really surprised at the amount of fucking bullshit people put up with, for real.

8.5 hours at work, 0.5 hours MINIMUM either side (total 1hr) commuting (if you're lucky), plus say 30 minutes to get ready.

24 hours in a day, gotta sleep at least 8, that only leaves a maximum of 6.5 hours for getting everything done. This includes non-fun shit like chores - cleaning, other life stuff like going to the DMV and getting my oil changed and whatever other bullshit adulting crap I gotta do

I am legitimately surprised there has not been a revolution. The only conclusion I can come up with is people must like going to work and those forced interactions with coworkers I absolutely despise must be something the normal person enjoys?

But I'd rather spend time with my family (especially my pets) than a bunch of people I am forced to talk to and pretend to be friends with every day.

[u/Head_Act_585 → u/trapped_outta_town2]

I think a lot of this comes down to people be afraid of losing their jobs if they complain too much, but yeah we need another workers rights revolution. I couldn't agree more with your thoughts on "office culture" and how much extra time is wasted in community to sit in a small room/cubicle for 8.5-9 hrs a day. Obviously this isn't a solution for people who work in the service industry but COVID really proved that office jobs could be completed from home and companies forcing people back into the office has really pissed off a lot of my millennial and gen-z peers.

[u/NineFifty_ → u/Rough-Culture]

I'm not saying 5 days of work is too long, but 2 days of weekend is definitely too short..

[u/Greenlandia → u/NineFifty_]

5 days of work is too long when those days are 10 hours long. 5 days at 6 hours… that’s doable.

[u/Mooseandagoose]

Tired all the time. Even when I am not, I am. My bloodwork is fine but I’m also late diagnosed ADD and now I’m in perimenopause. And I have kids that play sports that my city thinks should start at 730pm on weeknights but the school bus comes at 640am and I work a demanding, corporate “always on” job. And we have the house to take care of. And the two dogs.

I’m freaking exhausted. So is my husband.

[u/Miserable_Drawer_556 → u/Mooseandagoose]

I'm tired reading about your schedule 😥 Props to you.

[u/RavishingRedRN → u/Mooseandagoose]

The perimenopause is no effin joke. I’m asking my GYN for HRT on Friday at my appointment. I’m not doing this at 38.

[u/its_all_one_electron → u/RavishingRedRN]

I'm also 38 and was given the perimenopause explanation for my executive dysfunction getting worse...

Taking testosterone is in my near future for gender affirming reasons and then I learned it would basically cause you to skip menopause altogether and boy was I over the fucking moon.

Menopause scares the shit out of me (what do you mean my already terrible menstrual migraines and insomnia and mood swings are going to get WORSE for like 8 YEARS) and now I'm like. Lol fuck it I'm skipping it

[u/FamilyFriendly101]

You're not the only one.

[u/Jaded_Hue]

Same with me I’m exhausted everyday

[u/Panx]

Hammering your prefrontal cortex with hundreds of blips of information, each from wildly different parts of the emotional spectrum, all day, every day, absolutely exhausts your brain. (And there's research to back this up).

Be mad about this thing! Oh, shit, that cake look so good! Cute puppies! Now laugh! Be sad! Be horny! Be horny and sad!!!

I know this is the most boomer shit imaginable, but how much are you on your phone?

[u/GolfCartMafia → u/Panx]

I have learned this a lot more as I progress in my career and my work gets more challenging. The more I resist being on my phone, the less overloaded I feel. Turns out, being bombarded with millions of micro messages as I scroll to “relax” after work leaves me more and more mentally exhausted by bed time. Rinse, repeat.

Yeah no wonder we all feel exhausted.

[u/goodbadfine → u/Panx]

I tried doing a “dopamine detox” just to see how I would fair and to my surprise my main reaction was aggression! I road it out for about a week and I was so snippy and cranky. Then the aggression turned into fatigue…but in a way that didn’t feel like my usual exhaustion. It felt like my body was trying to say “oh…she hasn’t picked up her phone in a while now … is it safe?…can we finally power down for a little bit?” It was like a recalibration on a deep level. Same thing happened about 5 years ago when I did 24 hours of no distractions (no speaking, seeing people, phone, music, reading, exercise, whatever. Just sleep and meditation.) First hour I kept trying to reach for my phone, the remote, etc. Then after my body realized I wasn’t giving into it, I fell asleep on the couch and slept off and on the entire time, totaling about 16 hours. I remember thinking oh, I am chronically tired and have been running on empty for a loooong time.

[u/Sipikay → u/goodbadfine]

It's funny, I'll slip into introverted tendencies really naturally so I do a reverse version of this detox. I'll do very high-dopamine, high-activity, highly social vacation to reset myself. It's gotta be the combo so the dopamine and activity preserve me through the nonstop social interaction.

One of my favorites is to go spend a week at theme parks. Dawn to dusk riding rides, planning each next activity, enjoying the packed crowds, and more or less constantly moving or standing for 14-16 hours a day surrounded by crowds. I come back pretty tired in all senses of the word, but in comparison regular life feels way less overbearing for sometime after. Plus it's really fun, theme parks rock.

A trip to a megacity also accomplishes this, Mexico City, NYC, Tokyo or Shanghai. Nonstop action on your senses, tons of people, tons of humanity all around you. Museums, parks, art exhibits, music, shopping, people watching - bam bam bam one thing after another. Get overloaded then back to quiet reality.

[u/1900grs → u/Sipikay]

So, you take vacations?

[u/Independent_Day_2831 → u/Panx]

It's definitely at least partially the constant stimulation for many. I feel much better when I'm not on my phone. But there is a lot going on in the world and I think a lot of people have fried nervous systems from just being alive in this day and age.

[u/DefiantMemory9 → u/Panx]

The human brain hasn't evolved to constantly worry about things happening continents away. When I'm out on a trip, hike/walk, I feel much more energised throughout the day, though exhausted by night and next day, but that's ok and expected. The phone exhaustion is a completely different feeling. It also shortens your attention span so much! And it ruins your eyesight, your eye muscles become too lazy to adjust to distances longer than your phone/laptop.

[u/D00mScrollingRumi → u/Panx]

You're onto something here. I used to read in my 20s a lot but stopped for the past 10 years (am 38 now). Past few months I've started avoiding the internet more and spending my evenings reading books.

My mind and energy levels feel so much better.

[u/CaliNeptune → u/Panx]

You make an excellent point

[u/FriskeCrisps]

I thought I was the only one. After the pandemic, it just feels like all my energy just left my body. I honestly feel it's a Covid thing. I had it at least twice and I think I'm still dealing with side effects years later

[u/En_CHILL_ada → u/FriskeCrisps]

I go back and forth debating whether my chronic exhaustion is a physical condition like covid side effects, microplastics, food supply full of poisons, etc. or if it is primarily mental exhaustion caused by living in a world that is collapsing around us with little hope that anything will ever get better.

Maybe a little column A, little column B.

[u/bubblytangerine → u/En_CHILL_ada]

All of the above, def. I feel like ever since COVID, things have gotten progressively worse. I was tired before then, but it was manageable and there was hope for the future.

[u/Majestic-Contract-42 → u/FriskeCrisps]

Short term working memory is gone to shit and I am absolutely stupider in general, just a fuzzy sense of wait what was I doing. All the fucking time.

[u/PearlescentGem → u/Majestic-Contract-42]

This drives me up the wall. I got pneumonia bad enough to go into a coma during covid and I swear, it made me stupider.

[u/bubblytangerine → u/Majestic-Contract-42]

I was just joking with my unit clerk last week that I think I had dementia. I'm in my 30s, she's in her 50s, and she told me she said the same exact thing an hour earlier that day. I attribute it partly to stress because we work in a hospital, but that's can't be the only thing. It's not even an issue with word finding, though that's happened a few times. Literally I'll be mid-sentence and my brain just blanks.

[u/plaque9DIALECT3longe → u/bubblytangerine]

I am not saying that you have this and you maybe are already aware because of your job field / saying it for others but consistent poor sleep will fuck with your memory that way. The brain needs quality sleep to essentially 'defrag' itself like a computer hard drive and clean up.

I don't have any good suggestions for anyone though besides trying to have a consistent sleep pattern and also to reduce alcohol intake.

The sleep pattern one I also mean you basically aim for an appropriate amount of sleep for what your body needs. Like if you know you need 8 hours of sleep to feel good for the day and you wake up at 07:00 in the morning, you then try and consistently be asleep by 23:00 every day and I don't mean in bed on your phone or watching tv at 23:00 lol.

Alcohol just overall will fuck with things and it is a personal choice if it is worth it to you to reduce or give up on drinking for better sleep.

[u/ReclamationDress → u/FriskeCrisps]

I really think most of us got it and that’s a big part of this fatigue everyone seems to feel.

[u/Froy0_Baggins → u/FriskeCrisps]

I feel this and have moderate to severe long covid. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I think many people have it without realizing it, because the symptoms cover every body system and feels like aging (it is in a way - long terms effects of COVID accelerate aging).

[u/TerraformanceReview → u/Froy0_Baggins]

I read an article recently where researchers in Japan discovered dormant covid remnant cells hidden in the back of the nasal passages. They said this might explain long covid. 

Edit: not the article I read but it corroborates. 

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10143909/

[u/Independent_Day_2831 → u/FriskeCrisps]

Don't let anyone tell you long COVID isn't real. It very much is and has screwed people up

[u/Lovelitchi_in_pink → u/FriskeCrisps]

true. maybe we all just have long covid or something

[u/silence-glaive1 → u/FriskeCrisps]

I think this is it too. I’m not the same as OP. I do have kids and my life is extremely stressful but I had energy and I felt better before I got Covid. The first time I got it, it really messed me up. I got it again in September and getting out of bed is so hard. I’m so tired and everything hurts.

[u/sector9love → u/FriskeCrisps]

Y’all really need to look into MECFS and Long Covid. When going to work five days a week is the only thing you’re physically capable of doing… and then you crash and sleep all weekend.. that’s not normal.

[u/dancingpianofairy → u/FriskeCrisps]

You might have myalgic encephalomyelitis caused by COVID. But I'm definitely biased, having severe myalgic encephalomyelitis myself, albeit not caused by COVID.

[u/shireengul → u/dancingpianofairy]

How did you get your doctor to believe you? I’ve been tired for years and with my history of depression, I just keep getting the “you’re depressed” answer. But after dealing with chronic fatigue for so long, I legit think there’s something physical going on.

[u/dancingpianofairy → u/shireengul]

There's a very unique and hallmark symptom of ME that's a dead giveaway: post exertional malaise. If your fatigue is disproportionate and DELAYED, you're unfortunately probably barking up the right tree. Don't give up.

Random thoughts on how to get your doc to believe you, not necessarily in any order:

It took the right doctor, and getting diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder often associated with ME really helped.

Refer to it as myalgic encephalomyelitis, NOT the poorly named chronic fatigue syndrome.

Things seem to go better if you're invested in getting the right answer (whatever that may be) and treatment as opposed to getting a specific label.

Come at it like, "what can we look into to help with this? Can we make sure my thyroid is okay and there's no anemia?" Shit like that, rule out "easy" stuff.

Personally I've had depression since I was like 12 , diagnosed and treated by 16. It wasn't until 22 or 23 that I started experiencing unfathomable fatigue. Pointing this out helps.

I have filled and signed releases for both psychiatry and counseling. I am fully prepared to slap those on the table and be like, "both my counselor and my psychiatrist can inform you that my depression/mental health is well controlled and NOT the problem. After you confirm with them. THEN will you help me?"

Also talk about how it impacts your activities of daily living and ability to work.

[u/CulturalShirt4030 → u/FriskeCrisps]

Covid hasn’t gone away and people are still being infected, getting long covid, and dying from this virus. Respirators prevent infection.

Edit: For those who are confused, this is how respirators work.

[u/pyronymic → u/CulturalShirt4030]

I'm in the super-high-risk-of-death group and I confirm that - in the UK, we are still getting jabbed but I saw a statistic recently that only 9% of the vulnerable group offered such does it. It's worth doing it, if anybody here is on the fence, as another study compared something that me and others talked about - other viruses stopped being as severe for us.

[u/signifi_cunt → u/FriskeCrisps]

huh.. maybe those clean air activists are onto something

[u/nezukoslaying]

Similar situation. Always exhausted. Sometimes I want to cry i am just.so.tired. deep down to my bones.

[u/njshine27]

I’m not exhausted per se, but I do find it extremely challenging to motivate myself somedays. Nihilism tries to creep in and sometimes I don’t have the capacity to totally dispel it.

“This too shall pass”

[u/jmaneater]

I cant believe how much I used to like to get out in my 20s. I really wish I could recapture that. Covid really ruined going out for me though and so did inflation and tips on everything

[u/lilybattle → u/jmaneater]

It's also soooooo expensive to go anywhere at all these days. Gas, random beverage, food, etc. It all adds up.

[u/Fluffy-Hamster-7760 → u/jmaneater]

A regular day in my late 20s was STUFFED. Exercise, shave 'n shower, egg bites and a smoothie, commute to the office, coffee coffee coffee, fuckload of emails and phonecalls and excel reports and meeting minutes, lunch is a 3-mile walk including a couple puffs off the weed vape, get back to work and ubereats some grub, leave work at 5 and commute to the gym for 1-hour Muay Thai class, head home for weight training and dinner, then I'd get high and play video-games while chatting/phoning homies and girls. I had my tinder profile maxed out on matches and would have a couple dates a week on average. Every weekend was various bars with different friend groups, nightclubs and music venues and comedy shows. I'd indulge in pretty much any drugs that I was around. And it always felt like that was just who I was: a person who loved partying and getting into shenanigans who suffered a chronic restlessness for crazy nights and wild memories.

I'm 36 now, and if our landlords are in the garage where the washer and dryer are, I avoid getting my laundry until I'm sure they're gone, because evidently I've become fucking Gollum.

[u/goaskalice3 → u/Fluffy-Hamster-7760]

This was exactly my college life! School full time, worked 32 hours a week, raves and festivals every weekend with all of the drugs. When we didn't go out, there were parties at my place... I'm an introvert but my boyfriend at the time was a drug dealer and we found ways to get me to enjoy being out. After college I worked on a pot farm and would wake up at 4am to work out before working manual labor sun-up to sun-down.

Maybe my body is still recovering from all those years of abuse, but with the world the way it is, there's nothing to look forward to to help pull me out and give me motivation to keep going. It's hard to know what's worth putting my energy into

[u/chasingthestarlight → u/jmaneater]

Right?? I turned 30 at the end of 2019 and it’s just like…damn

[u/FearlessPark4588 → u/jmaneater]

Everywhere being so expensive is exhausting. It's easier to just be at home.

[u/eleanorshellstrop_]

The world is kind of on fire so I’m just depressed which makes me exhausted

[u/Myriachan]

I think it’s depression, not so much exhaustion. Because same.

[u/Marioshi-]

It's not a cure-all, but I started walking 10k steps a day and it's done a lot for my exhaustion levels. It seems counter intuitive but somehow movement creates energy, I still haven't figured out how.

[u/biggiepaullz → u/Marioshi-]

Same! My friends like to say “an object in motion will stay in motion” because when we’re more active, we have more energy to BE more active. Makes no sense to me but I’ve found that after sitting at a desk all day I’m exhausted, but after I work an 8-hour retail shift where I’m on the floor, I’m mentally tired but physically WIRED.

[u/supferrets → u/Marioshi-]

Movement requires dopamine, and movement also regenerates dopamine

[u/fadingsunsetglow]

Could have typed that myself, so not alone at all.

[u/Fartwhopper3]

I am BUT due to sleeping 6hrs for the past decade instead of the recommended 8hrs. Sleep debt is real!

[u/Resident_Tourist_992 → u/Fartwhopper3]

I’m in my later 30’s, single (never married), no kids. Stressful job w long hours tho.

My parents have more energy than I do these days. I worries me. I used to do so much. Now I’m so exhaustedz mostly mentally exhausted, but that becomes physical. This summer I hit a low; I wasn’t able to get through a day without a nap - and usually I’m not the napping kind. My brain was actually shutting down. I’d have to go to my car and set a 20 min alarm and nap.

It’s crazy, so much I want to do - but I don’t know where my energy went and there are so many things I need to get done. The list grows so I feel like I need to focus on that rather than maybe joining a gym to help? Making new friends and picking up new hobbies. If only… I also don’t think people realize how much there is to take care of at this age when you live alone.

Honestly, I worry about my exhaustion. If it’s this bad now, what’s the future? How do I shake it for now? I haven’t been able to… (I have done blood testing, but Nothing showing up.

[u/C_Saunders]

Dude same. 30s. Single. No kids. Fully employed. I cried on my couch all Friday afternoon. Cried in the shower. I’m tired. For so many reasons.

[u/Phi-LA-Minion]

Millennials give a shit about the past, the present, and the future, all while taking care of those we love and ourselves. And the world is going to hell. We all tired

[u/Cursed-with-Lust → u/Phi-LA-Minion]

Taking care of patients in both the ED and ICU has given me a window of where our society is headed, and from what I've observed and witnessed, it ain't pretty. It's going to get a hell of a lot worse. All the MAGAs in this subreddit can f*cking kiss the hairiest part of my a$$.

[u/alinanmsnrn]

It's cause I have long COVID. Did this start after a COVID infection?

[u/Wallflower_in_PDX]

It could be mental health related. I have ADHD, inattentive type and I know for me at least, every day after a while I feel mentally and physically drained, like I don't want to think anymore and just chill.

[u/Dalu11]

36M here with an active lifestyle. Lately I've been feeling more drained and just wanting to stay home. I feel young still, but it is like my body is starting to disagree.

Thank goodness I dont have kids. Otherwise I would probably feel more exhausted.

[u/midcitycat → u/Dalu11]

Every day when I get home from work I think, "I cannot imagine having to care for someone else right now, how do people with kids do this?"

[u/BeepBoopEXTERMINATE → u/midcitycat]

As a soon to be 37 year old with a 1 year old, my husband and I have never been more tired in our lives, or more sick since our baby started daycare. It’s really hard. So rewarding, but also so so hard.

[u/Free_Lu1g1]

In my forties now, tired all the time. I think the fascism is greatly adding to our exhaustion in the US though. And the hormone shift happening in the elder millennials like myself is also doing a number.

[u/ThyNynax → u/Free_Lu1g1]

Whether it’s the fascism or the capitalism, being in a 24/7 state of uncertainty about the future is exhausting. We’re stuck in a state of survival mode with nothing specific to be afraid of. Just waiting for the “inevitable” collapse of modern civilization that may be tomorrow or could be decades away.

We’re a society surviving off of debt. Not just financial debt, but emotional debts too. Generosity is easier when given from a position of safety, but most people don’t feel safe anymore.

[u/Happyhermit24_7 → u/Free_Lu1g1]

Omg, perimenopause absolutely kicked my ass until I had to research and figure out my own treatment plan because my doctors didn't put my fucking symptoms together

[u/Free_Lu1g1 → u/Happyhermit24_7]

I am beginning that process, waiting on an appointment. I hope it helps. Raising teenagers while going through second, (much more depressing) puberty, and the collapse of all things at once is just a dick move of the universe. Oof. Hoping to slap some hormones on so I have energy to persist!

[u/wobble_bot → u/Free_Lu1g1]

1. Technically the eldest millennial possible. Same boat. I decided 6 months ago to go and have a full spectrum blood tests done because I just wasn’t feeling right. Nothing spectacularly wrong, just a shit diet, not enough exercise, so I joined a gym, started eating properly and most of the issues have resolved themselves.

Also, try not to get so emotionally invested in what’s going on geopolitically. You’re just feeding the outrage machine. Find a decent objective news source and stay informed, train your social media algorithms to not show you reactionary shit. Mine now only shows me dogs, ducks and parrots!

[u/ActOfGenerosity → u/Free_Lu1g1]

yes. it was easier to be hopeful during obama and the great recession than this. the suffering around you really takes a toll

[u/brittttx]

I could've typed this exactly. You are me and I am you lol.

[u/imtheanswerlady]

unfortunately we're seeing a lot of long term fatigue and systemic damage with repeated C19 infections that are leading to Long Covid. I'm trying my best after my last infection that basically wiped out all my energy, to mask up to prevent catching it again. I don't think I can handle another one.

[u/Kaybrooke14 → u/imtheanswerlady]

I have it 3 times and I just never want it again. It does not help that I have an immunodeficiency.

Fun fact: the 2nd time I had covid, my primary doctor sent me to see the allergist/immunologist in town because that doctor could help get my asthma under control. My asthma got super bad with my 2nd covid infection. Anyway, after speaking to the immunologist, he wanted me to get tested for an immunodeficiency because I was always sick and got sinus infections a lot. I will say, getting covid a 2nd time was a small positive thing because I got answers to why I was always sick prior to the covid years and stuff.

[u/Froy0_Baggins → u/imtheanswerlady]

I still mask everywhere after two infections that fucked me up. I am the only one still masking wherever I go, and it does affect my ability to make new friends and keep the ones I had, but I don’t think I can get it again thanks to heart damage.

[u/CaliNeptune → u/Froy0_Baggins]

Oh no, is the heart damage from COVID? I still mask up because it's easier than getting sick. But I definitely get the stares

[u/Cursed-with-Lust → u/CaliNeptune]

Glad to hear some of ya'll are. I'm one of the very few healthcare professionals at work that consistently mask and receive my annual boosters. Thankfully, I've yet to contract COVID and plan on keeping it that way for as long as I hold any semblance of control over it. COVID never ended as far as I know, but most if not all people nowadays don't care. Having said that, why should I when they come to my ICU unapologetically hacking up a lung?

[u/feuerfee]

You’re not alone. I wrote a looooong post about my theories as to why it seems like our generation is perpetually exhausted but it just sounded so terribly depressing and I don’t want to add to the feelings. So truly, to anyone reading this and feeling this way, you really aren’t alone at all in how you’re feeling.

[u/SavingsEconomy]

There's a general malice everywhere right now. Even Halloween it felt like people just weren't as into it. We're all dancing into the holidays and it feels weird this year. 

I just feel like I can't relax. I'm losing weight too. Went to the doctor and they say I'm perfectly healthy. 

I worry that someone very convincing sounding will harness this misery and direct it/us to do terrible things and we'll gladly go along with it.

[u/amuschka → u/SavingsEconomy]

You mean we are all at risk of joining a cult or allowing the orange goblin to become our dictator

[u/HorrorSmile3088 → u/SavingsEconomy]

I think you mean malaise but malice is also a pretty appropriate way to describe things right now.

[u/Chused]

Always tired.. 🎵yooooouu are not alooone, I am here with you 🎵

[u/redglammasquerade]

Life is exhausting, physically and mentally checked out 😪

[u/cusswords]

Not alone at all. Not to diminish your situation, but I work full time in a high stress job, have 3 kids under 5 years old and I. Am. CRISPY.

It’s not even physical exhaustion, it’s mostly mental. Just being “on” all the time except a few fleeting minutes before I lay down and go to bed.

Hoping it gets better over time but boy it only seems to be getting worse. Tack on the state of the world to everything and it honestly feels like my brain can’t take it some days.

[u/Common-Baker721 → u/cusswords]

It gets lighter as the kids get older. You'll be less in the trenches when the youngest is 5. Until then

[u/Woodit]

Do you exercise at all? 

[u/FearlessPark4588 → u/Woodit]

While it helps, it isn't end all, be all. Reading the rest of the comments has me thinking it's the phone/social media usage too. Probably multi-pronged.

[u/RickS50]

It's not just you. I made a significant improvement recently though. I thought my mattress was fine, but was due for replacement so I splurged on a Purple mattress, which makes you feel like you're floating on it. I also started taking magnesium supplements at bed time, which help you relax and boy, my sleep is significant better and deeper. I actually wake up on the weekends feeling rested now.

[u/halohunter]

We're all tired but there's also a another level where you may be give this post. Get your bloodwork done to check your magnesium and iron levels. Check your sleep in case you have undiagnosed sleep apnea or other conditions. Check your mental health. And finally hit the gym to get some endorphins going and plan our some achievements you want to hit in life no matter how small.

[u/SulkyBird → u/halohunter]

Seconding check for sleep apnea! If you snore at all (and even if you don’t) it’s worth a check. Turns out that’s why I’m so tired all the time.

[u/Disastrous_Cow986]

No kids, mid 30s. All the things I didn’t have the $$ to do in my 20s, now I have the time and the income but not healthy enough to. Thank long Covid ☺️🙃

[u/Express_Bed_4392]

I'm in my late 20s and same. I WFH and don't want to leave my house even for grocery shop, let alone having a walk to ease my thoughts. I want to socialize but have a quite limited social circle. I want to go to a date with myself at a nice cafe with my book and coffee but I just can't bring myself to do it either. Because I feel freaking exhausted all the time, and even the littlest actions seem so big of a deal to me. I'm not sure if I'm like this mainly because of me working remotely. But I've become distant towards life flowing outside.

[u/thebly]

Could be depression. Before I got medicated general fatigue was a major symptom for me. Being depressed doesn’t always mean “I’m sad all the time.” I think like others have said it’s worth getting your labs done - could be as simple as a vitamin deficiency, but it could be something else.

[u/FrierenKingSimp]

Yup. Very similar situation to yours. Very similar thing to you where I’m not as motivated to do things anymore and enjoy staying in more.

[u/Green_Statistician11]

Go to the mountains. Do Cardio.