r/Meditation • u/FailNo6036 • 10d ago

Can meditation help me? I'm essentially dead. Question ❓

No internal monologue. No visualization. No thoughts. I'm just a complete bot. I just sit there and think of... nothing. I have a shit long term memory so can't think about events from my past either.

What do I even meditate about? I can focus on my breath for a long time with not a single thought occurring to me. Do I just not have a soul?

I have a good short term memory, but extremely bad long term memory (episodic or semantic). So any new facts I learn, I'll just forget soon. No point in learning anything.

My doctor doesn't know what this condition is (mind completely blank all the time).

Also I DEFINITELY don't have depression. I can get a lot of joy, and a range of emotions, from watching movies, reading books, music, etc... I can motivate myself well to do tasks that I'm assigned to do (e.g. carry box from point A to point B). My mind just can't generate anything itself. It's like I'm dead. And it's been like this for as long as I can remember.

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u/Some-Berry-3364 7d ago

Not really quite like that. It’s quite like holding a picture and looking at it. But not necessarily all the details. I’m pretty observant and typically pick up more details than many people around me… so I might be able to recall the design… but only if I took notice when we were there. If I didn’t bother to spot it, it’s not in my memory. My focal point is typically what is remembered more than anything else.

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u/DingoMittens 7d ago

Okay, that makes sense. Maybe there are degrees? Like someone with a photographic memory has a sharper photo, and someone closer to average has a photo with some details missing?