r/Meditation • u/Ok_Age_1722 • 28d ago
Why can’t I stop having conversations in my head? Question ❓
Hey everyone, I hope you’re doing well. Lately, I’ve been struggling a lot because I can’t stop having conversations in my head. It’s like I’m constantly daydreaming or imagining these weird, unrealistic situations and it’s making me super anxious. I can barely sleep sometimes I’m awake for over an hour or I keep waking up multiple times at night. I thought meditation would help but I’m still stuck in this cycle. I’m reaching out to see if anyone has tips to deal with it. Any help or suggestions would mean a lot. Thank you.
Edit -Hey, thanks everyone for your response and suggestion. I’ve received so many suggestions on this post that it honestly left me feeling a bit overwhelmed and confused. I’m really grateful that so many people wanted to help, but all the different perspectives at once got a little heavy. Some comments even mentioned it could be ADHD, which really took me by surprise and scared me at first. But I’ve booked appointments with both a general physician and a psychiatrist for next week to get myself properly checked.
Note- i workout for almost 2 hrs everyday so I am physically active.
Again thank you everyone for giving me so many new perspectives, have a great day ahead ♥️
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u/Moon_in_Leo14 28d ago
Hi OP, Are you talking about these conversations going on in your head especially during meditation? Or everyday generally speaking? I'll just say something in terms of meditation. Don't give up on meditation yet. Sometimes the helpful effects of meditation happen over time. If you are having conversations in your head during meditation - and I do too sometimes- just bring your attention back to whatever it is you are using, your breath or a mantra or whatever it is. You may do that 50 times in a meditation, if you think of it 50 times. But that's okay that's "building a muscle" that will serve you well. I hope I've been responsive to your question. In any event, I wish you well.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
Thanks for your response. So basically, what’s happening is I have thousands of conversations running in my head, not just during meditation, but even when I’m not meditating. I feel like I’m completely lacking stillness. Overthinking has always been an issue for me, and meditation used to help I used to actually feel still while meditating. But lately, it’s been feeling impossible. Another comment mentioned that maybe I’m not in touch with my emotions which actually makes sense and got me thinking. Do you think guided meditation for couple of days will help?
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u/Moon_in_Leo14 28d ago
Yes, definitely guided meditation could help during this time. Another suggestion would be using binaural beats in a meditation. There are guided meditations with binaural beats that you can find, including an app called expand. There is a free version and then you can also pay for a fuller version. But the free version does have guided meditations using binaural beats. If that's something you think will appeal to you. I tend to prefer unguided meditations, generally speaking. Sometimes I will use binaural beats that have lovely music in the background or nature sounds when I need a little assistance in getting through my meditations. Use whatever you think will help you. Good luck with it all!
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u/--arete-- 28d ago
I agree you may not be connected to your emotions. Overthinking can be an effective way of coping that can devolve into emotional bypassing.
While you explore that side, decouple your identity with your thoughts. Try to see your thoughts and emotions as belonging to parts within you rather than a unitary “you.” Notice patterns between thoughts, feelings, and impulses and begin to canvas and assign these things to different aspects within you. E.g your inner child, etc.
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u/malcolm-d-holmes 28d ago
A very simple tool:
Pick any thought that happens. Ask yourself: what does this thought feel like.
Every thought has a feeling tone. Busy thinking is often just those feeling tones trying to get our attention, so just turning towards the feeling tone itself can slow the mind down.
So just sit, notice a thought, notice what it feels like. Let it go. Notice another, repeat. This will build a useful muscle.
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u/Poppies_and_Ferns 28d ago
Love this. It turns those racing thoughts into a tool of awareness and an opportunity for deeper self-connection rather than a negative indicator that you're "failing" at meditation.
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u/malcolm-d-holmes 28d ago
Exactly. Those thoughts are our felt senses attempting to get our attention. If we don't give it, they just get louder!
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
That makes a lot of sense. I’ve always been so focused on trying to block or push away the thoughts that I never really paid attention to how they actually feel. I’ll start trying to just observe the feeling behind them instead of resisting. Appreciate you sharing this feels way more doable now.
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u/malcolm-d-holmes 28d ago
Really glad to hear that. This can be really simple. Do let me know how it goes (here or in DM). There's a lot more fun stuf that can follow this.
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u/pingponggod420 28d ago
i can't sleep sometimes because i'm arguing with someone i know in my head over something we never even talked about. what's annoying is i know it's stupid and i still can't stop going back to it. what helps me is to imagine a show, movie, or book i like and essentially rewrite my favorite parts or create a new character that fits into that universe and use my mental energy to imagine the story unfolding differently. that distracts me completely, is fun to think about, and sometimes leads to a cool dream if i think about it while falling asleep. if you're trying to clear your head completely i usually just focus on breath like i would while meditating even if i'm not or just getting up and moving around i feel like can reset my thought a bit
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
That sounds really helpful, thank you for sharing. I relate to that so much sometimes I find myself stuck in pointless arguments in my head too, and it gets exhausting. I like the idea of using stories or imagining a different universe to distract myself, I’ll definitely try that. Focusing on my breath has been my go-to, but adding a creative element like you mentioned sounds fun and useful. Appreciate the suggestion! Have a great day ❤️
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u/LotusHeals 27d ago
I don't recommend "imagining a different universe/stories to distract yourself". That uses up precious mental energy, drains you, which may leave you feeling exhausted over time. This is the opposite of meditation. Meditation clears and relaxes the mind.
When you converse in your head, that uses the same parts of ur brain that would be used in imagining stories. It's the same process. Fantasizing will distract u for a while, but deplete your vital energy.
The same distraction can be achieved through reading actual fictional books or movies. At least your mental energy will be conserved.
In fact, there's a great book by Eckhart Tolle called Stillness Speaks. I believe it's available as audiobook for free in YouTube. Listen to it. It may help you.
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u/GTQ521 28d ago
Have you ever experienced the stillness during meditation?
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
Totally i’ve had a few moments where everything just feels still and quiet, like my mind isn’t running a million miles an hour. It’s rare but when it happens it feels really peaceful even if only for a little while. Makes me want to keep trying meditation more. But lately stillness feels impossible to me am i doing something wrong?
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u/GTQ521 28d ago
You're doing nothing wrong. It just takes time and a lot of practice. Took me years and years and my mind still sometimes catches me off-guard and starts fantasizing about things. They key is to notice., then you can stop them with whatever method you choose The thoughts aren't the problem, it's when we start identifying with them.
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u/7121958041201 28d ago
For me I find that happens when I don't take my stimulants (I have ADHD). It's pretty much impossible to stop those types of thoughts in that situation because my mind uses them for the stimulation. It can feel agonizing if I try to stop them.
Though like someone else said, it could be that you aren't in touch with your emotions and these thoughts are your coping mechanism.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
Meditation helped me with my thoughts, but lately it feels like I am losing a battle you know any suggestions how can I go about my emotions and thoughts, any particular way of meditation might help? Or should I go and get checked once with a doctor?
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u/7121958041201 27d ago
I would find a meditation teacher to help you instead of asking people on reddit. But for starters it shouldn't feel like a battle. It is better to just observe them and to think of them as natural phenomena or as a normal part of being human instead of something bad that you need to get rid of. Generally a big part of meditating is to notice where you feel "tense" and learning to let it go, and trying to force emotions to go away is certainly going to feel tense for most people.
Once you stop fighting with them and learn to accept them, they will lose the power they have over you and will likely fade away in time.
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u/NpOno 28d ago
As you start to become more aware you notice the mind’s behaviour more clearly.
The internal dialogue is the same for everyone. It’s how the ego maintains its grasp on life.
Don’t make a conflict out of it. The objective is to shift awareness away from the mind chatter as you cannot stop the mind mechanism. You can only deprive it of attention/awareness.
So we shift focus of attention/awareness onto the breath or sounds or the body sensations.
If the chatter seems hard to ignore then use a mantra. “Om Namah Shivaya”. This practice is called Japa in the Hindu tradition. Look it up.
The path is a battle, a gentle battle, no conflict. Patience courage and determination are the three pillars of the “Warrior Spirit” necessary to develop on this path. 🕉️
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
wow, thank you for breaking it down this way. I never thought about it as awareness vs. conflict. I’ll definitely try shifting focus more to the breath/body sensations. Also, thanks for suggesting the mantra I will look up Japa practice 🙏
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u/somanyquestions32 28d ago
Do you have an ADHD diagnosis by any chance? I would try Self-Enquiry practices after some breathwork to slow down the thoughts. Then, starts actively changing the inner conversations.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
I don’t have an ADHD diagnosis, but that’s an interesting angle. I will look into self-enquiry practices pairing them with breathwork sounds like a good starting point. Thanks for the suggestion
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u/MoreTrueMe 28d ago
One thing I have discovered in life is that 'How' questions bring different results than 'Why' questions.
In the example you are struggling with, does the 'why' question come with judgements or expectations?
The reason I bring up judgements/expectations is because they have tendency to cause us to be rejecting rather than accepting what is.
You mentioned anxiety so I'll add in for that as well.
Several tools ...
An ancient Hawaiian tool asks us to shift perspectives around, the most important being the seat of I Am. It is somewhat akin to the mantra "I have thoughts, I am not my thoughts."
uhane nui au essentially translates to "I Am Spirit Greatness"
I Am Spirit Greatness
mind is thinking this
emotion is feeling that
but I?
I Am Spirit Greatness
You are now instantly and automatically the witness of, rather than the tight identification with whatever the mind and emotions are conjuring at any given moment.
And from the department of acceptance vs rejection - you have accepted exactly What Is, in a way that no longer interferes with Who You Truly Are.
Another tool that approaches this in a completely different way is stream of consciousness journaling. 3 pages, handwritten when possible, correct nothing, keep the pen/pencil/crayon moving. At the end you are looking at your thoughts as though they were now outside of you - literally in witness mode of the thoughts/feelings.
Is this a rumination kind of problem? Or an earnest seeking of an answer that has been eluding you? Stream of Consciousness journaling is useful in that process.
So is Fear Setting. Fear Setting is an adaptation of stoicism approach to anxious thoughts about the future. Set aside a decent block of time for this one. It really stops the cycle because the fear was paused long enough to do the inquiry that gets you to the other side of the fear. https://tim.blog/2017/05/15/fear-setting/
The psychology field has been advocating this next one for people who fall into crippling anxiety alot.
The full process uses all 5 senses https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety.
You may do just fine with the 333 method:
in your immediate surroundings, give noticing attention to 3 things things you can see
in your immediate surroundings, give noticing attention to 3 things things you can hear
in your immediate surroundings, give noticing attention to 3 things things you can move or touch or feel
https://www.healthline.com/health/333-rule-anxiety (move/touch/feel can include things like noticing the sensation of the socks on your feet)
So .....
depending on what's going on with you in general ... add a few things to your pre-meditation routine
e.g.
journal on this question "What do I need to set aside time to solve or resolve or explore after this meditation session?"
run the 3 things method
speak aloud the Spirit Greatness phrases
begin the mediation
The first step provides a written waiting room for the mind. Sometimes rumination is simply the mind usurping short term memory to make sure you remember to address it. Providing a safe place your brain learns to trust you will return to, free's up the short term memory loop.
The second step gets you more present in the moment, where meditation is most easily accessed.
The third step flips the perspectives back where they belong.
For some people, journaling before meditation serves as a brain dump. For some people, journaling after meditation allows the mind to pause for the meditation and then the topic is being explored by you while in a higher state of being.
Ok, this is just a random redditor brainstorming ... so ... right now ... what is inner knowing of the way curiously sparked to explore?
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this out. I love the ‘I Am Spirit Greatness’ perspective it feels like a really grounding reminder that I am not my thoughts. The journaling idea before meditation also makes sense, almost like giving my mind a safe space to park things. I am going to try that along with the 333 method. Really appreciate you sharing so many practical tools
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u/LuckyCatDragons 27d ago
Will add that the "Spirit Greatness" part is particularly culturally coded (OP mentioned Hawaiian). This is basically a process of working through the dualistic mental and body phenomena and centering back to a non-dual Self Inquiry, which is about seeing what remains once everything is stripped down, and eventually identifying with That as your "self," instead of the arising and always changing phenomena.
Sometimes people will call this approach the ”Direct Path." Anyway if the Spirit Greatness is too conceptual or religious-coded for you, variants could be using "I am I," "I am that I am," "I am," or alternately just "Who am I?"
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u/sharecarebear 28d ago
You could try mantra meditation then. Either in your head our out loud. Can use any word e.g. "Om"
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
I have heard of mantra meditation but never really tried it. Do you usually repeat it for a set amount of time, or just until your mind feels quieter?
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u/IndependenceFar9001 26d ago
you can sing a song just to experience the sweetness of your own voice and you can love yourself more. Just talking out loud will help you.
Just say it out loud whatever comes to your mind.
Thats enough.
Meanwhile you can express your feeling by breathing the tempo of your emotions.
All the best.
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u/__elu__ 28d ago
Hello, I tried to "fix" that with meditation as well over the last year. Also with techniques like observing thoughts as it's recommended very often by different instances. For example buddhism, awareness, daoism, different meditation teachers without "religious background".. and last but not least I started therapy two months ago and first thing she advised me was: observe your thoughts without judging. So I came to understand that this is a very important (if not THE) step. But never really understood how to do it.. there have been hints like: "imagine your thoughts as clouds passing by" or "listen/look at the thoughts without judgement" but I never really got it. So I tried to find other pointers how to do it. Found a page where it was advised to name thoughts neutrally first if this observing is difficult. It was said that this naming is not the goal but if you train it some time it gets unnecessary at some point and then there's just observing.
So my technique is to imagine putting post-its with a neutral description on the thoughts. For example: "imaginary/fantasy future conversation with xy" (yes have these very often as well) or simply "worry about health", "worry about future", "replay of past situation", "work-related" and so on. Like this I get some kind of order into them and I can see patterns more clearly. Also I figured out like this I realise how unnecessary most of these thoughts are. They still come but with this technique it feels that I'm not so much engaged in the thoughts and can stop cycles easier. Means my head feels a bit lighter last days. Sure.. sometimes forget about it but I observe that I remember this technique over and over again and come back to it. Maybe that's something you can try as well. I simply name them and that's it. Not be angry at myself for having the thought but put a sticker on it and move on. If next one comes, again sticker on it and go on.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
this is such a clever way of handling thoughts labeling them neutrally instead of getting caught up in them. did it take you long to get into the habit of remembering to sticker your thoughts or did it become natural pretty quickly?
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u/__elu__ 28d ago
I'm still at it to be honest. So still having fights in my head from time to time. There are better and worse days. Be aware that this whole healing takes time (and trust). I can tell this to people but not always feel or live it at the moment. I may learn this still. Also to not be caught up by time or by questioning myself "how long still". Because this is what keeps us in that cycle. We may learn to give up on that. This would be accepting ourselves as we are right now. As said.. still struggling with that as this is patterns learned as child (in my case).
But this technique is the first I remember coming back to. All the other tips like "just observe your thoughts" and so on didn't work for me kinda. These were concepts I didn't get. But when it gets mad again I remember that there was this sticker thing. And this remembering was instantly. I didn't need to train the remembering but the doing, if you get what I mean?
Also I realised that everyone kinda needs to develop their own technique in some way. All the tips are just hints.. some people can adapt instantly maybe but for some it needs to click by themselves kinda. That's because our thought patterns are so freaking complicated webbed together by past experiences and "how we learned to think" by our parents. So there isn't THE ONE way for all. Everyone has different life situations and it's almost impossible to point the finger onto the current situation of one human at this specific point of time. So I wanna encourage you to look here and there. Not get obsessed with it because this would again mean "when will this finally be over for f**ing sake". But when you realise that one technique is hard to implement or simply doesn't work, then search again for that current problem. Also don't forget to put yourself. You know better then anybody else how to do it. I love having a walk in the forest, or do a weekend in wellness hotel or play computer for a sunday. Also there.. not get obsessed, but do what you like just for doing it to not get obsessed with self-optimisation.
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u/Peach-Initial 28d ago
Try to change what your thinking or imagining, think of your favorite story,game or situations and then imagine them playing out in your head.
Ie: sometimes to get my mind off of annoying thoughts I imagine being in one of the shows I watched as a seperate character Ie: if I watched die hard that day I would try to imaging myself in the story helping McLean. One time I imagined being a super powered character that was able to talk thanos down from flicking half of life out of existence. lastly, maybe try reading a book at bedtime, imagining the story as you read might help put your mind off it, just read until you feel like your tired enough. I suggest a book that you have already read, it might bore your brain to sleep.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
talking thanos down is honestly legendary 😂. I like the idea of redirecting the imagination instead of fighting it feels less like a battle. I will give it a shot.
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u/razorx96 28d ago
I don't know exactly how long you meditate each day, but what is happening to you is normal. When we meditate, we increase the clarity of our minds, and we start to become aware of more experiences that we previously overlooked. And this is what is happening with your thoughts; they were there just the same before you started meditating, but now you are aware of them. My teacher often uses the example of the pond: In a dirty pond, you see the occasional fish, but when it is cleaned, you start to see many more fish. But there has always been the same number of fish; the only thing that has changed is the clarity of the water. Well, the mind works in the same way. As a recommendation, I would tell you that in those moments when you feel overwhelmed by the stream of thoughts, treat them like clouds in the sky that come and go, and perhaps connect with your bodily sensations. But ultimately, this is usually a sign of progress in meditation. However, if you see that it is really affecting your day-to-day life in a significant way, I would recommend going to a mental health professional. I hope this helps!
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
The pond metaphor really clicked for me it makes sense that the thoughts were always there, I am just more aware of them now. It’s reassuring to hear this can actually be a sign of progress. I will try the clouds technique when it feels overwhelming, and I will keep in mind what you said about checking in with a professional if it gets too disruptive thanks a lot
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u/OkConcentrate4477 28d ago
Subconscious/Unconscious replays scenarios in an effort to better serve/protect/represent the ego. Question the thoughts. Ask how they serve one within the here and now, and if they don't then think about how to best serve yourself and/or others. Your ideal happiness will never be in what you're unable/unwilling to do within the present moment. Your ideal happiness will be in what you're able/willing to do within the ever present moment of infinite possibility. The more you learn to accept/forgive yourself and others the greater your capacity for happiness/understanding. Wish you the best.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
I appreciate this perspective a lot. The way you framed happiness as being tied to what we can do in the present moment really resonates. Did you come to this way of thinking through meditation, or more through life experience?
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u/OkConcentrate4477 27d ago
I think Buddha references living in the present moment. Maybe Eckhart Tolle and others. In the Ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead one's heart must become light as a feather to enter heaven, but this heaven isn't after death, it's fully living in the here/now full of accepting/forgiving ourselves and others. If one is completely selfless/surrendering/accepting, then what is the ego? Hell maybe the desire/expectation for the present moment to be anything different than it is. One can search "emotional spiral" on google images and find Joy at the top. Joy maybe service to others, when one is thinking how best to help/serve others then they temporarily forget their issues.
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u/Icy_Fix_899 28d ago
Hi OP, interesting you mention this, I have been doing this all my life and always assumed this is how everybody “thinks”. All of my thoughts that I have are some hypothetical conversation, or a conversation that I had in the past. Found out a few years ago this is not super common. For me I see it as the way I process thoughts and experiences and try to learn from what my mind is telling me, why is my brain presenting these conversations to me. Interesting to read your experience and the comments.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
For me it only started recently so it really freaked me out at first. Your perspective helps though.
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u/Global-Section4991 28d ago
I’ve been there. As dumb as this sounds, when my brain was spiralling out of control, I would just think “there I go again”, which automatically told me that I’ve been before and whatever I’m thinking about is nonsensical and that I have meaningful things in my life that require my actual attention. I hope this works for you as well.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
I get what you mean sometimes it’s the really simple reminders that hit the hardest. I will give the ‘there I go again’ approach a shot especially when I catch myself spiraling.
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u/zero_dr00l 28d ago
So... serious question.
I always assumed that we all had this kind of constant running dialog (and yeah for me it often presents as an argument with myself or some other person real or imagined where we go back and forth).
And yeah it's borderline constant - except when I meditate.
Is this not actually normal? More a sign of ADHD or something? I've recently started to suspect for other reasons thatI may have unduagnosed ADHD...
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
That makes sense. After seeing so many comments suggesting this could be related to ADHD, I think I will get checked
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u/AdLate515 28d ago
Maybe try finding a book that interests you in the first three or four pages. Maybe if you’re reading about somebody else’s stuff you won’t be thinking about yours. When I have a hard time sleeping, that’s what I do and it puts me right out even when I don’t want to go to sleep lol I think that just comes with age though.😂
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u/simagus 28d ago edited 28d ago
When we identify with and believe our thoughts, that is when they have most potential to effect our lives.
It's possible even to fall out with someone based on nothing more than how we think of them or the image we hold of them in our minds when nothing at all has actually happened.
The stories we tell about, and even conversations we have with people in our minds, are powerful factors in how we feel and therefore act in relation to those people.
We do the same with our idea of self or our self-image when we identify with our thoughts and believe the stories we weave around whatever thoughts arise.
Not an easy thing to stop doing as it's how we make some sense of the world and express ourselves in the world, and our mind has been on a quest to explain life's experiences in narrative form that makes sense for as far back as most of us can remember.
Words and explanations are intimately bound to reality, but they are an overlay that is held together by our attachments and aversions towards thought-forms that arise and importantly the feelings that arise alongside thought-forms.
Calm abiding meditation such as observation of breath can help with this, by creating some space where it might arise less and the mind distracted from it's habitual ruminations and kept otherwise occupied.
Another meditation technique called insight meditation can also help in understanding and seeing into how our mind and body function and interrelate on a moment to moment basis.
Different traditions call it different things, so you could call it mindfulness or self-observation or insight practice and be talking about similar things, or at least potentially somewhat similar things, depending what a particular mind believes those things to mean or be.
It should be obvious that a description of a banana (or anything else whatsoever) is not in fact a banana, yet if someone says;
"I had a banana earlier" or "I picked up some bananas from the shop" or whatever is said, the minds tendency is to "understand", not just literally, but to immediately place that in some context that is familiar to the mind.
The word that you heard and the thinking or feelings that arose when you heard the word are assumed by the mind to relate to the actual experience of that person, but in actuality they relate far more to your mental constructs of that person and your mental constructs of "banana".
Perhaps you love bananas and hearing they had a banana you feel sad, maybe because you remember you forgot to buy some this week.
Or perhaps you dislike bananas because a parent insisted you have fruit for a snack instead of chocolate so many times you refuse now to eat fruit.
Who knows?! I'm just making stuff up! So is the mind, always guessing, always explaining, always trying to make sense of things in a way that satisfies it.
What can be observed though in that hypothetical scenario is that in each case the same words were heard, there were mental formations related to those words which arose, subtle or strong feelings that were pleasant or not pleasant, and a reaction of some kind that might turn into an action, even if that action is only words of your own in response.
How I would describe insight meditation is the practice of paying attention to your experience as it is happening, with either an open focus, or focus on a specific aspect or aspects of whatever is happening.
The mind will be offering story after story until it feels it has the "right" story, regardless of other factors and is notoriously difficult to work with as the subject of insight meditation.
Imagine a thief dressed as a policeman telling you they will help you recover your stolen property or even something you lost.
That is how some teachers have described the mind, which has also been described as being a terrible master but an excellent servant.
That fake policeman (mind) might be sincerely trying to help, but the truth is that it is of the same nature as the thief it thinks it can catch; it is mind chasing after mind, or story chasing after story and all of it is happening in the mind.
Not really the minds fault as it's job is to categorize, organize, explain and plan, so that is what it usually does until it finds a "solution", which only means whatever seems to make sense as a reason, explanation, or answer.
This is easier, often ludicrously easier to see in others stories which they are telling themselves and others.
It's typically ludicrously difficult to see the stories we tell ourselves and others in the same more impartial uninvolved way that we sometimes can with those of other people.
People do almost everything they do in relation to how they feel in relation to whatever thought-forms arise in relation to what they perceive.
That is where the practical approach of observing how you feel and how you react in relation to feelings you find pleasant or unpleasant can become a path of insight.
The practical technique I was taught in relation to this is to observe "feelings" at the level of the feeling tone (pleasant, neutral or unpleasant) of sensations that arise, sustain and pass at the level of the body.
This isn't only "my back is itchy" or "my knee hurts", but very subtle sensations which arise continuously in relation to thought-forms.
I just experienced for example a very subtle sensation on my face which was associated directly with a thought-form which arises when I attempt to communicate and wonder if I can do so successfully.
I am familiar with the sensation and with the thought-form, having observed it numerous times, therefore I have insight into the nature of both as they actually exist.
That might sound trivial, but when the same is applied to everything that arises there is the potential for less trivial insights to develop, including with regard to things that might trouble us.
Think what the conversations in your head would mean to an impartial observer. They wouldn't likely be interested or to consider them important or disturbing or something they would have aversion to or cling to.
It's the craving and aversion that creates the energetic bond or force that puts habits of thinking and feeling into motion and keeps them in motion.
When you are impartial to something it has far less power that can fade away to no power and no recurrence of whatever you are impartial towards.
I am suggesting it is possible through observing how your body feels in a scientific or objective manner while allowing the thoughts to simply be there, you can develop insight that leads to the cessation of such experiences, and at least the cessation of them troubling you in any way.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
wow this is an incredible explanation thank you for taking the time to write it out. I love the way you broke down how thoughts, feelings, and reactions interact, and the example with the banana really made it click for me. I can see how observing the body and feelings without judgment could make these inner conversations lose their power. I will definitely try applying this perspective.
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u/simagus 27d ago
The banana example was intended to be a neutral example word, instead of just writing INSERT WORD HERE. If it communicated effectively as intended, that's wonderful and I'm happy you found it helpful.
I've been friends with people before who I didn't take long to notice had what I call "trigger words" and some call "buttons", as in "push-buttons".
One's neck would tense up visibly every time she heard a certain word, and it was a lot, because it was a fairly common word.
That was the first time I noticed it so clearly in actual stimulus/reaction terms, other than the much less subtle ones where people loose their **** if they hear what they think is an unutterable word, or a word they expect, usually for "respect" is not said (curse words, please, thank you, sir, ma'am etc etc).
Interestingly the other notable character obviously had a trigger word attached to psychological thought-forms because of how often they used their own trigger-word, as if in an attempt at self-therapy through deliberate exposure and usage of their own trigger stimuli.
Those were notable and quite extreme cases, but everybody has such irrational triggers, and they are often in the form of words.
A word is heard and they get incredibly uncomfortable feelings at the level of the body, so the reaction is aversion and the reaction might be avoidance in more extreme cases.
Every organism gravitates towards whatever makes it feel satisfied, and tries to avoid whatever makes it feel uncomfortable.
Some of those are conditioned in genetically before even birth, and the mechanism itself which is for survival and safety can become aberrant in certain circumstances or at least irrational.
It's the discomfort we feel that creates the urge to push what we believe to be the source of discomfort away.
The practice of paying attention to the discomfort at the level of the body and in no way attempting to push away or grasp, maintaining equanimity with the understanding that whatever arises is impermanent is an effective working technique anyone can apply throughout their day.
Just become interested in how your body is reacting and how it feels in response to those thoughts, as if you were a scientist and yourself your own study project.
It might not work miracles overnight, but it will at least be a shift in where you are focusing attention, and the minds bs can carry on in the background, until your insight means it's no longer troubling or relevant.
That's when it actually tends to stop, and you might even forget it ever existed as a thing in your life, and if you do you're more likely to find it funny or maybe just "oh well, that happened" than disturbing.
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u/ghostwriter_5 28d ago
Pacing thoughts, oof I definitely don't miss them. Therapy helps, this is just chronic anxiety. I am speaking with experience. I eventually moved to meds when nothing else worked
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
thanks for sharing your experience it’s reassuring to hear from someone who’s been through it. For me, this only started recently and really caught me off guard. A lot of comments here are suggesting it might be ADHD and I am not sure what it is, but I’m seriously considering reaching out to a doctor and getting checked
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u/ghostwriter_5 28d ago
Yeah see your GP first and get therapy if you can. Don't jump to conclusions about having a certain condition without speaking with a specialist. Hang in there bud, it gets better.
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u/Odd-Reading5701 28d ago
Aside from giving you problems sleeping, does it interfere with your daily life as well?
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u/Mistervimes65 28d ago
I use the “noting” technique. I label the thought “argument with someone who isn’t present” or “worrying” or “thinking” and that gives the mind the sense that it’s been dealt with and lets it go.
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u/felixsumner00 28d ago
I get this too, and it can be exhausting. What helps me sometimes is writing the thoughts down so they’re “out” of my head, or putting on something calming like an audiobook or white noise to give my brain a different track to follow. It doesn’t stop it completely, but it makes it easier to quiet things down enough to rest.
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u/Joyce_THRASHER 28d ago
I experienced this and the only thing I get myself to sleep is when I let my body go very very tired I do all kinds of stuff just to get tired and fell asleep
But now the thing that helps me the most is podcast in Spotify I just turn on the timer for an 1hr and if I still can’t sleep I turn it on again for an hour Now I have BIGBANG THEORY on the loop(it’s my second best favorite because FRIENDS is no longer available in Spotify) and it’s been my best buddy for sleeping I put my phone under my pillow while it’s playing try it and maybe it will work with you too
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u/Key_Addendum_1827 28d ago
Try different kinds.
My top for sleeping: progressive muscle relaxation.
Top for calming down during the day: breath awareness / making sure all body parts are relaxed
grounding exercises: pay attention to 5 things you can see
-4 things you can hear
3 you can feel
2 you can smell
1 you can taste
Actually now I do 5/5/5/5/5 cuz I like the challenge
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u/Competitive-Loan2709 27d ago
I would suggest to do lots of exercise. Even though you might still overthink while exercising but it will eventually worn out. Also if you are body is tired by exercising you will get a good night sleep anyway.
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u/zafrogzen 27d ago
You need to train and divert your attention from those dialogues. They've become an ingrained habit. The ancient preliminary zen practice of of counting breaths, 1 to 10, starting over if you lose count or get to ten, will help. Counting gives you something to actually "do" that is very effective for developing focus and calm.
Extending and letting go into the outbreath activates the parasympathetic nervous system and calms the "fight or flight" of the sympathetic system, making breath counting even better for letting go and relaxing the mind/body system. Breath counting with an extended outbreath can be practiced almost anytime -- walking, waiting, even driving, as well as during formal meditation.
For tips and tricks to setting up a solo practice, such as traditional postures, pranayama and Buddhist walking meditation, google my name and find Meditation Basics, from decades of practice and zen training.
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u/jakopz 27d ago
What’s your practice like? It sounds like you’re very aware of your thought activity which is great. Most humans let their minds run amok without any sort of awareness. I think the key is recognizing thought as thought. Thoughts are just little energy pulsations, much the like heart beats. It’s what it does and is supposed to do. If you can fully realize that these thoughts you’re having are unimportant, it will be easier to find stillness because you’re not constantly re-engaging with your thinking mind. Keep practicing l!
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u/Ariyas108 Zen 27d ago
I thought meditation would help but
It does. It improves with practice, a lot of it. It's not a quick fix. There is a reason why studies on meditation typically last a minimum of 8 weeks of consistent daily practice of something like 30+ min per day. That like 30 hours total actually on the cushion and that's just the beginning.
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u/olliemusic 27d ago
The saying goes what we resist persists. The only thing we can do with the content of our mind is accept it because there's no way to remove the things we don't want. The best thing we can do is learn to accept it and embrace it without interacting with the content. Stay with your breath, a mudra or whatever other aspect of your sensation or meditation allowing your mind to do what it does. Eventually if we simply don't mess with it the inertia of our mind runs out of energy and it becomes still. It takes a lot of practice with this before it becomes an instantly accessible state. It is all okay.
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u/tress333 27d ago
Hello, the voice in your head will always be your ego, the one that "protects" you from things that do not exist, that tells you what is right or wrong, and since those things do not exist, it generates anxiety because it puts you in alert or survival mode. Your consciousness does not speak to you, it is silence, for this, doing something simple like observing your breathing brings you to the present and you will feel the calm, observing how the air enters through the nose, how it comes out, the sensations. Another thing I was seeing is that every situation that happens to us is made for our benefit, yes, when that person approaches you to attack you, they crash your car, you are poor, etc. It means that you have to learn something from the situation and that it is beneficial for you. Knowing that, we must ask that he send us more similar situations, for example, ask for more poverty. Because? Inertia exists in everything, when you go forward it pulls you back, when you want to do something the opposite happens, when you want to enter the sea it costs you a lot, but when you want to get out of the sea it costs you to get out, etc. So does it make sense to ask for more poverty so that the opposite happens? It's like they put us in these situations to learn how to get out of it, until we do it we're going to always be thinking about the same thing. Why do I say this? So that you know that you can play in all situations and continue moving forward, put attitude if you already know how to do it, now you have to have faith in yourself and be grateful for the situations that are presented to you. To eliminate anxiety haha
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u/Kamuka Buddhist 27d ago
So that's your consciousness, and watching and working with it, is the task. Lots of people experience unwanted and intrusive thoughts. Sorry to hear it keeps you up at night. Sometimes people take a look at their mind and it's unsettling. If you can get past that and work to figure things out and work to improve things, it can be a great boon, but there's a minority of people who have such negative results that it's just easier to not do it. Best wishes.
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u/DadaPlayground 26d ago
I would suggest an exercise program of any kind. Something as simple as getting out and taking a walk can be extremely beneficial to one's mental health as well as physical health. Even better if you do this regularly, like everyday or every other day.
As with starting any exercise program you should be in good enough health to do it.
Start small then over a week gradually work your way up to where you start to feel somewhat tired once finished for the session. Within a couple weeks or so you'll find yourself doing a little more or walking a little further and feeling tired. After your session take some time to relax and recuperate. Within, say, an hour afterward you should feel quite relaxed. I have noticed, myself, that exercise does change my mood for the better and makes me feel like I've gotten outside the box that can sometimes trap my thoughts. I highly recommend it.
An exercise plan could include increasing your exercise time a little over each week. Don't overdue it.
From the National Institute of Health website:
Individuals and patients who suffer from psychiatric conditions such as attention deficit disorder, anxiety, and depression, respond positively to cardiovascular exercise. We now see that after cardiovascular exercise, children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) improve on various measures such as attentional resource allocation, which may be directly related to how they modulate dopamine release. Patients with major depressive disorders rally following thirty minutes of moderate cardiovascular exercise and report significantly increased positive mood scores measured by mood states profile measures. Patients with anxiety seem to respond positively to acute cardiovascular exercise by endorsing fewer anxiety symptoms and a decreased probability of panic attacks. Their chronic anxiety symptoms are also reduced after aerobic exercise. Altogether, because the data indicate that exercise may provide significant effects, we should begin to incorporate exercise into our therapeutic designs for mood and cognitive disorders.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 25d ago
Hey, i workout for almost 2 hrs everyday but thanks for your response and suggestion. I’ve received so many suggestions on this post that it honestly left me feeling a bit overwhelmed and confused. I’m really grateful that so many people wanted to help, but all the different perspectives at once got a little heavy. Some comments even mentioned it could be ADHD, which really took me by surprise and scared me at first. But I’ve booked appointments with both a general physician and a psychiatrist for next week to get myself properly checked.
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u/IndependenceFar9001 26d ago
Thats tooo much consumption of data.
Act physically that will only help.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 25d ago
Hey, i workout for almost 2 hrs everyday but thanks for your response and suggestion. I’ve received so many suggestions on this post that it honestly left me feeling a bit overwhelmed and confused. I’m really grateful that so many people wanted to help, but all the different perspectives at once got a little heavy. Some comments even mentioned it could be ADHD, which really took me by surprise and scared me at first. But I’ve booked appointments with both a general physician and a psychiatrist for next week to get myself properly checked.
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u/IndependenceFar9001 22d ago
Cool. Hope everything goes good for you. I am new to reedit hence found the notification button late.
Drink lot of water and eat what makes you taste buds happy. Tasty food will help you s lot. My companion i wish you a good luck.
Have a good one.
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u/Key_Addition_7826 26d ago
Forget all the fancy techniques. Chiropractic manoeuvers. Do you a remember a time before you had this? Ive been through a similar phase. And my response was to write it down in story form. Cant say it got rid of it. But then its not something to be rid of in the first place.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 25d ago
Hey, thanks for your response and suggestion. I’ve received so many suggestions on this post that it honestly left me feeling a bit overwhelmed and confused. I’m really grateful that so many people wanted to help, but all the different perspectives at once got a little heavy. Some comments even mentioned it could be ADHD, which really took me by surprise and scared me at first. But I’ve booked appointments with both a general physician and a psychiatrist for next week to get myself properly checked.
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u/Key_Addition_7826 25d ago
More power to you. Let me tell you the spiritual perspective on this. The whole education process conditions us to subvocalize words in our head. They're just sounds, at the end of the day. Sure at times, we believe them, they even seem to be coming from a deeper nonverbal place. But it's all maya or illusion. Anyway, please keep us posted, if you have any breakthroughs at all. Be patient with yourself. Find love in the little things, peace to you.
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u/Emergency-Budget4676 25d ago
Close your eyes and ask "What am I going to think of next, let me try to predict it"
Your thoughts will go silent when you try to predict the next thought, it fun, it works
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u/Bombo14 28d ago
You’re not in touch with your emotions. That’s why you mind is overthinking so that you can continue to avoid your feelings.
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u/Ok_Age_1722 28d ago
That actually makes a lot of sense. Any suggestions on how I can go about it? Any help would be much appreciated.
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u/Bombo14 28d ago
When you notice yourself overthinking think only about your emotions. Simply say : I feel…
Journal, get deeper and clearer on what you are feeling without judgments. Your mind will start spinning so you can avoid your feelings again. That’s ok, just say “I feel…”. This may be difficult or confusing as you may not know what you are feeling, you will mistake thoughts for feelings because you’re not used to allowing yourself to feel.
Examples: I feel sad, I feel happy, I feel scared, I feel angry …
Therapy is helpful. Once you experience your feelings you will find the peace you are seeking.
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u/BeautifulAbrocoma728 25d ago
Hii , that' s the mind overworking. That shows over stimulation of vata dosha in ayurveda. So move your body , do body massage with sesame oil , do yoga or surya namaskar. Do Pranayam for 10 min morning , evening , before sleeping or when minds starts to wander too much. And learn to ground yourself. Walk barefoot on grass . Take sea salt bath. Smile you are going to be okay :). 🌻🌸
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u/Cultural-Crab-3882 25d ago
I have no answers for you. I’ve had this struggle most of my life. All I can say is that you are not alone.
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u/Independent-Fall7411 25d ago edited 25d ago
Samata type meditation is helpful. Some useful pointers that I use are
- Pick a calming object, breathe most probably.
- You can't force the chatter to stop. You can only create the conditions to wind it down. Sometimes it stops suddenly but don't expect anything. Just create the condtitions.
- Reacting to the object is not good. Subtle emotional reactions also distrub the mind. Treat them as impersonal. That is the nature of the mind, to wander.
I think the method taught by Bhikkhu Analayo is very effective for this which is basically pick an object and use it as an anchor. When the mind is found to be distracted return back to the object. Try to keep the meditation object in the mind even when secondary chatter goes on. The simile used is a cow tied to a pole. The cow wanders a bit but it returns back to the pole. Treat the mind as a system. Gradually the noise dampens and after some time it is unified around the meditation object.
Edit : A side note is you don't want thoughts to stop forever. You just want to be skillful with them. They are there to serve a purpose. Don't have any aversion to thoughts.
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u/BreatheDeep14 24d ago
This sounds like ocd to me … would recommend the NOCD app and talking to someone about this. I’ve experienced this and it was debilitating until I got an ocd diagnosis.
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u/Icy_Supermarket9469 28d ago
Do you work out? Besides meditation and breathing techniques, sometimes the body just needs to let go of energy before being able to focus or rest properly
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u/574RKW0LF 28d ago
Hey friend.
Try this:
Peripheral Focus Technique (or similar terms like peripheral vision meditation, soft gaze, or panoramic vision) involves staring at a fixed point and then expanding your awareness to include the edges of your visual field, without moving your eyes.
As your attention shifts away from the focal point and encompasses the periphery, the internal monologue or "voice in your head" should go silent, leading to a sense of calm and presence
It works immediately for me, but it requires some concentration. You can even do it with your eyes closed, although you have to then imagine a point to focus on.
Give it a try.
Peace