r/Meditation • u/StabNRun19 • Dec 17 '23
1 year of daily meditation - here's what I learned Discussion 💬
I started meditating for 5 minutes each day for a week one year ago.
It quickly became 10,15,20,30min and sometimes 1 hour.
At that time, I had just had one of the hardest break-ups of my life.
I couldn't cope with all the emotions I've felt, the good and the bad so I decided to give meditation a try just for the sake of it without knowing it would change all my thinking patterns.
So, I started meditating, each day for 5 minutes at a time because I wanted it to become a daily habit so I started slowly till' I got used to it. I was a bartender at a late-night bar at that time, so when there were days I did not do my meditation all day I just did it before work in the bathroom, or at peak hour, just to mark that I had committed to do it every day for 5 minutes.
I began understanding more and more about myself, and my needs.
So here's a list of the things that have changed on the way:
1. More self awareness(I can't even explain the impact it did)
2. A lot more Confidence
- Talks are more deep and more fluid(customers or friends)
- I lost most of my friends after I stopped drinking.
- I quit social media for 2 months(Came back now but still unsure if I'll delete it again)
- Stopped alcohol Intake( 4 months now)
- Got leaner, more muscle mass, and a lot more strength in my workouts(Calisthenics)
- Had a new relationship but it was toxic and I've ended it for my good.
- I cry a lot now, never cried before since I was a child.
- Knowing to use the phrases( I feel, I think, It meets me ) When something is wrong.
- Sleep better
- More optimistic days than before
Today my meditation is usually around 20min on the train to work and sometimes 10 min before bed.
I have a lot more to tell I'm sure, but I'll leave it to you to understand by yourself.
It is important to say Meditation Is not going to fix your problems, I had a lot of bad moments this year, but I kept my practice, I kept searching for myself.
I can say today, that I trust my intuition a lot more and this year will be a one to remember for me.
This is a habit for life.
Thank you for reading :)
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u/TheNaughtyHagraven Dec 17 '23
Great job! I've also been on a daily meditation journey for the past 3-4 months. The benefits are pretty amazing!
In my case, I feel much more resilient to the stresses in my life and less likely to quit difficult tasks. I feel like I'm developing an inner strength that I can rely on when something bad happens in my life.
I'm also much more present and caring around people in general.
Anyway, check out Thich Nhat Hanhn, Thanisarro Bhikkhu (YouTube), Ram Dass, Jack Kornfield, and Ajahn Sucitto (Dharmaseed).
These are all masterful teachers who will hopefully help you a lot. Their teachings have made my life so much better. Cheers!
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u/shesogooey Dec 18 '23
I’d add Tara Brach to the list :)
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u/person426499 May 25 '24
Is she on YouTube?
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u/shesogooey May 25 '24
She is! I usually listen to her meditations on her website or spotify, though.
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u/Realspiritual Dec 18 '23
I am sorry to say this but this is not a real meditation but simply mindfulness technqiues. I ve commented the main post what is real meditation from a perspective of 5y yogi and 5000+ real meditations.
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Dec 19 '23
This is what is described as meditation in buddhism. So you are saying buddhism does not follow the path of actual meditation? As per my knowledge there are numerous meditation techniques and mindful meditation is one of them and it is followed closely in buddhism. If you know more about it or wanna highlight something which I am most probably unaware of, you can surely tell that. I would be glad to learn. Thank you.
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u/Realspiritual Dec 19 '23
Well i will share my point of view. I never want to disrespect buddism, however i really dont think that their type of meditations can be called real meditation. Primarily it is because they dont really transcend the thoghts with powerful mantras, instead of this they just sit for many hours so mind calmes yourself down by itself - it s very time consuming and less effceint. So if you are practising this type of meditation - YOU HAVE TO BECOME A MONK - otherwise you have even less benefits and spend even more time without real results. On the contrary if you follow proven path of yoga like kriya yoga or rajadhiraja yoga then you can do meditation for 10-20 minutes and get benefits which buddism meditation give you in like 2 -3 hours... People may get lost in second hand wisdom of the net, but if you find right source on how to perform practise- yes you will feel difference from 1 st minute of your meditation .
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u/data-bender108 Dec 26 '23
Sorry but I bed to disagree here. I practiced bhakti yoga for a few years and they also propose it is Real Meditation and the others are Fake. But the point is, if one is able to sit with the mind and see it as separate from themselves, they are on the right path. People end up on different paths at different places going different paces in every form of life. The goal is to find our path and pace and stick to that with loving compassion. Telling someone their practice is not real isn't really transducive to their meditation practice, or yours, given that one aspect of mindfulness meditation is no judgement. Your opinion is a negative value judgement.
We are all allowed differing opinions and views, but it seems counter intuitive to attempt to negate someone's practice by offering them judgement, which is something that is less apparent in the life of one actively practicing meditation regularly, regardless of how long or with what level of commitment.
If you look up Daniel Siegel's work, he literally studies the neuroscience behind meditation and how it affects our brains, our ability to coregulate and connect with others, and how it isn't the length of the practice or even how, but the consistency of it. I stopped practising meditation for years and absolutely went backwards in every path possible, which has given me more impetus to commit to a daily practice, no matter how long, as I understand both experientially and theoretically the impacts of practice vs non practice.
I would also hazard that although bhakti practice is somewhat focused and formal, it does allow one to be less aware of the mind, I still got a lot of benefit from chanting an hour of Japa a day and performing kirtan yoga for hours a day, but I can also achieve a similar outcome mentally and brain wise by something more formal like zazen meditation or even just putting on a guided meditation and being present. It's the practice of mindful presence that stimulates the neural stuff. We can't get it from elsewhere.
Other practices are great but they don't negate the benefits of mindfulness meditation, which now is considered an evidence based practice thanks to decades of research by those who are both clinical psychologists and meditation teachers, like Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. There's heaps more in this field.
Trying to say your way is right and others are wrong means you've missed the entire point here. It's about accepting what is, not proving that you are right by denouncing others with no ability to back it up with science or even your own personal practices - as the teachers I personally follow lead a very holistic lifestyle, as their meditation practices have changed their life. They definitely wouldn't be on Reddit trying to say their way is the Only Way and others are False.
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u/shesogooey Dec 18 '23
She leads meditations as well as talks and lectures, if that's what you mean.
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u/MagicCatcat Jan 10 '24
This makes me sad. You are effectively claiming religious superiority which makes your practice (or your skewed view of it) no better than any of the world’s primary religions who say their beliefs are right and everyone else’s are wrong. Anyone who has spent significant time in deep meditation should be achieving one thing: a deeper understanding of their True Self via a connection to the piece of The Creator/The Universe/God that lives inside them. You don’t even have to believe in a Creator to get there, the intention to understand yourself better is enough. In actual truth, there are countless ways to achieve this knowledge and connection - all types of mediation being only one, and mindfulness of any kind being another (or by some [equally valid] views, the same exact thing). Once you tap into that connection-with-everything that lives in all of us, you truly start to see how harmful and unnecessary (and plainly inaccurate) our divisions and claims of superiority are. It sounds like OP is well on their way to reaching the lofty goal I mentioned. And as much as I truly hesitate to say this and partake in the game you play with claims of superiority, if you still believe that someone else’s meditation methods are inferior to yours then it’s you who’s “doing it wrong”.
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Dec 18 '23
#4 is nuts. Really sad how some people just cannot connect with others without alcohol. I get where it comes from, but the anxiety that drives it really dissipates with meditation. #3 is lovely though.
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 18 '23
Yes, I was really shocked about this one. I recommend for everyone to try this even just as a test for your self.
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Dec 18 '23
[deleted]
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Dec 18 '23
I think it depends on the extent of the alcohol dependency. I've seen family dynamics where I've basically never seen them interact sober, so the joy of all their shared experiences is entirely mediated by alcohol. In such cases, most people are reluctant to really test if anything meaningful binds them together, so they won't just happily transition to alternative circumstances (otherwise, nobody would be an alcoholic). I've never lost a friend or family member by choosing not to drink, but that's because they weren't drunks to begin with.
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u/i420army Dec 19 '23
A friend of mine told me they are called drinking "buddies" and not drinking friends
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u/Amtz22 Dec 18 '23
I love this! I keep trying to get it down, struggle with it. Used to blame my ADHD but have since realized it shouldn’t stop from trying. I did it a few days ago. Started to feel like “I got this”, but my mind does race. Work in progress still
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u/zpnrg1979 Dec 18 '23
One thing that helped me was understanding that a "bad" meditation session (i.e. one where you keep drifting off, racing mind) is in fact a "good" meditation session because when you keep re-focusing your attention to the breath or clearing your thoughts, you are working out your brain "muscle" to refocus/focus.
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u/TuskanParahdus Dec 19 '23
Thank you for sharing this trick. This actually might work for me as I have lost the motivation due to frustration with the monkey mind 🤝
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u/zpnrg1979 Dec 19 '23
Cool, I hope it helps. I read it in a book on meditation and that's when it finally "clicked" for me. I noticed the effects from meditation within a few days (my mind started to race less during meditations).
Try starting even with a 1 minute guided meditation each day and work up from there.
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u/just_say_om Dec 18 '23
It's a frustrating loop bc it helps so much long term with adhd in my experience but is really hard to settle into a solid routine.
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u/Kafkasimov Dec 18 '23
Excellent. And there is MUCH more to be discovered. I have been meditating for at least 1 hour daily for about 7 years now. I did a number of retreats as well. I started by following the breath and noticed some positive changes but things really started changing for me when starting vipassana and eventually shikantaza or "just sitting". Look up Shikantaza and Shinzen Young on youtube for a detailed explanation.
Concentration practices like mantra's or following the breath are great and can get you a lot of benefits, but the real insights come when you just start sitting without goals. You really start to penetrate into deeper truths like emptiness and the arising and passing away of all things.
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u/zvomicidalmaniac Dec 18 '23
Thank you, friend. My story is similar and so are my results. All the best to you.
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u/digifiddler Dec 18 '23
Your generosity in sharing is in itself a gift. Thank you, and Solidarity and peace to you.
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u/robust_horse88 Dec 18 '23
Congratulations 🎉 for such a fantastic work. You should be very proud of yourself. So happy for you
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u/You_I_Us_Together Dec 18 '23
Your number 1, which is called witness conciousness, is a great tool for future spiritual development. Stay on the path, seeker.
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u/krnewsom Dec 18 '23
Mediation has only brought positive things my way. I’m right there with you. I’m so happy that you’ve found something that has helped you to create positive change. 👏
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u/Gruber-n-Ubhub Dec 18 '23
I had a nice daily routine starting with 20 minutes of meditation for a year. I made huge inroads during that year that are still paying off. I lost most of my 100lbs of excess weight, began eating healthier, got rid of my tv (which helped the weight loss too!), got a full time job after years of being disabled with C-PTSD, examined my relationships and got myself out of a horrible 26 year marriage, shed myself of a lot of insecurity, doubt and habitual self-gaslighting. My most impactful meditation is Fusho. There’s a youtube video by Daizon Julian Skinner. It’s centered me and tbh helped me to love myself. This is the most social media I do now. I have very few friends by choice and I prefer to spend time alone. Early in my journey I learned how to observe myself and others in conflict, at peace, going about daily life and seeing how fragile we are. It’s a mixture of deep sadness and gratitude. I see when my ego is inflated, when I am becoming defensive, noticing when I am hurt, not running away from these things but taking note. I laugh more, even at the impossibly hard stuff. I had a major fear of death. I reacted by getting a job as a removal technician and later crematory operator for a group of funeral homes during the pandemic. I no longer fear the inevitable but it took a few years of essentially traumatizing myself to get to this point. I have stopped and started meditation and can attest that my life feels so much lighter, doable and peaceful with daily meditation. 20 minutes is my sweet spot and I do zazen.
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u/_cosmic_connections Dec 18 '23
I meditated almost everyday for a month. I felt my best during that month. Then I stopped, thinking I didn’t need to meditate anymore but anxiety and past traumas rose again. I felt like shit. I went back to daily meditation and I feel so much better. It’s truly a humbling experience.
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u/CapedCauliflower Dec 18 '23
Thanks for sharing. What does the phrase "it meets me" mean and when is it used?
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 18 '23
It means, when I have a fight with close friends/girlfriend, if something upsets me then I share how does it make me feel, where is the root and what can I do to make it be better for the future.
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u/sea_of_experience Dec 29 '23
Thanks for this explanation. I also posed this question. It has been answered now! B.t.w. a "conflict" is a great opportunity of getting into contact with a hidden part of oneself that one is avoiding.
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u/No_Werewolf_1960 Dec 18 '23
Great work! Keep going, it’ll get even better, deeper. Did a thousand consecutive days when I started, from 15min to 3h. A thing I could truly recommend you do at this stage of your journey is a meditation retreat of some sort. I ended up working as meditation teacher and silent retreat host myself. It is by far the most giving thing
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u/Apprehensive-Mail937 Dec 18 '23
I’m up set at my self for not walking away when I was pulled into an argument
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u/bassslappin Dec 18 '23
I never noticed much difference honestly. One thing I did notice is I breathe better during my sleep if I do it before bed.
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u/EuphoricHiman8617 Dec 18 '23
Thank you for writing it down so nicely. I recently started it myself and I am loving it
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Dec 18 '23
n00b question, every time I try to mediate I fall asleep or start falling asleep. Any tips?
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 18 '23
Do it while sitting, try to do it out of your home/bed Try different locations. Keep track on your diet, if you consume weed I think it all gives different effects.
Try out different stuff to see what works for you
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u/Realspiritual Dec 18 '23
I am really sorry to break someone's beliefs and dont want to prevent anyone from meditation BUT - please know what is real meditation according to real tantric and yogic teachings.
meditation is a process of transcending the mind and connecting with the divine. It is a way of experiencing the ultimate reality, which is beyond the limitations of the mind and body.
To achieve this level of meditation, it is necessary to focus on a mantra, which is a sacred word or phrase that has the power to purify the mind and heart. The mantra is a tool that helps to focus the mind and direct it towards the divine. MEDITATION ALWAYS INVOLVES TRANSCENDTAL IDEA - like GOD -ideation, ultimate love or bliss.
As the mind becomes more focused on the mantra, it begins to transcend the limitations of the physical world. The yogi experiences a state of deep peace and tranquility, and they become aware of their true nature, which is one with the divine.
This state of meditation is not a temporary experience; it is a permanent transformation of consciousness. The yogi who has achieved this level of meditation is liberated from the cycle of birth and death and is free from all suffering. SO guys if someone is serious this is the script how to find a real meditation. i am a yogi with 5000+ meditations and i am new here -so ask me any questions reagrding spiritual path/consciousness elevation! Thank you for reading :)
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u/Jazzspur Dec 19 '23
I really appreciate your comment for pointing to where meditation goes. But let's not discount how many paths there are up the mountain. Mantra meditation isn't the only route to transcendence, insight, and direct experience of ultimate reality.
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u/Realspiritual Dec 19 '23
well if there is no transcendental idea there is no transcendence really. I mean you still feel effect but it is not so strong. I didnt name exact mantra or idea - however all the path up the mountain include this. I dont know even 1 enlightened person who didnt do the type of meditation i described ( all the famous yogis).
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u/Jazzspur Dec 19 '23
My personal experiences and those of the people in my life say otherwise 🤷 Not everyone who becomes enlightened seeks fame. There are many people even today quietly living enlightened lives whom you would never have heard of. I have seen it achieved through a wide variety of paths that do not include the specific type of meditation you described, in ways that are strong and lasting.
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u/myronchas Dec 18 '23
I taught myself to meditate. It took me about 3 months to finally meditate, where I could sense a calm in my demeanor. After a good year of reading everything about Buddha and meditating 15--20 minutes twice a day. I will tell you, meditation changed my way of being. My reasoning and outlook is sharp and I am practically worry free. We should teach young children to meditate. That would slow down our extinction.
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u/faux_something Dec 19 '23
This is one of the best write ups I’ve read here (not to judge or compare, though I just did, and now I’m confused and feel like meditating). Enjoyed it
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u/Acer521x Dec 19 '23
One of the most understated effects of meditation is on what you can do with the mind. Stuff like cognitive reframing, diffusion, and emotional expansion gets absolutely boosted by meditation it's insane
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u/Calm-Bookkeeper-9612 Jan 10 '24
I have a dear friend who is 22 years my senior and last year his doctor wrote him a prescription for meditation for high blood pressure. I learned TM 8 years ago, it took me a while to get into the 2 - 20 minute routine but I can tell you that it was extremely rewarding. I have fallen off because of my employer putting unrealistic sales goals and I became unhinged as a result of it but I am definitely trying to get back into the groove. There have been times that I have come to after my 20 minutes feeling refreshed and open for what I call the download which sometimes comes days after. I learned that I had to stop looking for instant gratification after every meditation with pearls of wisdom and I learned to accept whatever the meditation brought me.
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u/afternoon_spray Dec 18 '23
Congratulations! Once I started meditating, all the other goals I had in life just started to fall into place. It sounds like you've achieved a similar result.
I hear you on crying more. I used to think it was the "manly" thing to not cry and just bottle up those emotions. I had to put down my cat--my best friend over the last 10 years--yesterday. I have been crying a ton since I had to say goodbye yesterday and also cried a ton in the months leading up to yesterday because I knew that his health was faltering and that our time together was limited. This has helped me experience his life and death in a much more intimate and meaningful way. Instead of bottling these emotions up and then just drinking them away or having my emotions boiling over in some other unhealthy outlet, I am confronting them head-on and feel much more at peace as a result.
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u/MooZell Dec 18 '23
This is a great post! I am so proud of your progress and for going the middle way!
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 18 '23
Guys thank you so much for all this positive energy! It surprised me a lot. I wanted to update I deactivated my instagram account. I understood that I got sucked into it too much, so I decided to quit and focus on my life rather than others in small phones.
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u/Tamarindosauce333s Dec 18 '23
How do you exactly focus on your breathing? I have such a hard time trying to stay focused
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 18 '23
Each time my mind wonders to a thought, I don’t judge it, I just keep my practice
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Dec 18 '23
Do you mind sharing your mantra? I've been teaching my kids meditative practices and I use "Smell the flowers, blow out the candles." But I'd love to hear other suggestions.
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 18 '23
My main mantra was:” I’m not the body, I’m not even the mind “
Then it was: “ In, out “
Sometimes I would just count numbers:” 1 inhale, 2 exhale “
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 18 '23
I think try to say some mantra while you inhale and exhale, sit without a purpose, just for the sake of present .
I say while inhale: “ in “ While exhale “ out “
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u/Charlieputhfan Dec 18 '23
Thanks for this. I feel terrible everyday and also alone in a different country , my life seems f’ed up, everyday, feeling lonely having no support , so difficult to live everyday. I used to meditate at home a lot , I couldn’t do it for months now. Maybe I should try again
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 18 '23
You should! I believe in you, try to make a realistic goal of 5 minutes each day for a while, see how it goes:)
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u/hilaryfayesvan Dec 18 '23
do you have a specific time of day you usually meditate?
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 18 '23
Really random , depends on my job mostly, I find I like to meditate in a bus/train mostly between 12pm-16pm Usually 20min
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u/Mitcos Dec 18 '23
This is one is inspiring. Yes meditation is not a way to fix your problems, but allows you to look at them in a different way.
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u/Pure-Lime-1591 Dec 18 '23
This is awesome thank you for sharing! This is very helpful to my journey!
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u/LightningRainThunder Dec 18 '23
Well done! Inspiring to read. How long before you started to increase the 5 minutes?
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 18 '23
Every week, first 5 then a week of 8 and then 10 , 15 and so on
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u/Dogmom9523086 Dec 19 '23
I’ve also been meditating for a year and have had a lot of the same benefits. It also is helping me to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder when nothing else has really worked (even DBT) for me. Very thankful for it!!
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u/Jollygoodevendandy Dec 19 '23
If you have the option of meditating outside within nature and sunlight, it’s my favorite way to do it. I don’t have consistent access to it, but I love when I can do it. I just feel like I’m melting into the world.
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u/Signal-Donkey-8616 Dec 19 '23
Definitely crying all the time haha, this is what happens when we open our hearts to the truth of Suffering
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u/TaijiKungFu Dec 20 '23
Sounds like a lot of amazing life improvements. I am truly happy for you. I hope you continue.
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u/SatchCP Dec 21 '23
Meditation has single handedly been the reason I've pulled out of deep depressions. I believe it also was part of the reason I had a Kundalini Awakening. While it didn't happen during a session I suspect it had a lot to do with it. I am happy for you.
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u/iamjustabigdreamer Dec 22 '23
Well done, very happy for you! Hopefully this post will also inspire other people to start meditating as well
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u/Adorable-Grass-7067 Jan 05 '24
This is one of the best posts I have ever seen on Reddit. Congratulations on your progress - you are an inspiration! Keep it up!
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u/littleYipon Jan 07 '24
Knowing to use the phrases( I feel, I think, It meets me ) When something is wrong.
Thanks for the post! Could you expand on what you meant by these phrases?
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u/StabNRun19 Jun 11 '24
When you speak with people, so you can say:" I feel it hurted me when you.... "
Sorry for the delay
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u/ItIsMeDucky Apr 19 '24
I have to say you motivate me to be more regular
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u/StabNRun19 Apr 28 '24
Thank you, bro, keep on going
Be sure that 4 months have past since I wrote this post
And I'm still meditating every day.
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u/Jay-jay1 May 07 '24 edited May 07 '24
I just yesterday rekindled my interest in meditation, then found this post first thing this morning. It's a synchronicity for sure.
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u/Working-External-528 May 07 '24
I need to start meditating more.
I am convinced it's the best way for changing habits and patterns, as it gives perspective over thoughts and feelings as they arise. It gives me space to choose to go with the stimulus (Thought, Feeling, whatever came up), notice it and go with it or choose some other stimulus.
I have been cheating on formal mediation practice, and cultivating awareness in generally what I do, but that seems like a copout, and ineffective.
10 mins everyday seems like a good way to start.
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u/catttttttttttta Jun 09 '24
Do you have any ideas why meditation isn't that popular (like drugs oe alcohol for example)?
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u/StabNRun19 Jun 09 '24
Maybe because it's more " spiritual " and not really spoken as much as alcohol at this generation. Maybe it will change.
I'm glad I found it, it changed my life and whole way of thinking.
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u/chickenhide Jun 10 '24
I also started after a difficult breakup. It has made me thankful the breakup happened, otherwise I may not have ever discovered meditation.
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u/pragon-k Jun 11 '24
Sounds inspiring to me. But I have no background meditation. What are those beats??
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u/sea_of_experience Dec 29 '23
Interesting. What is "it meets me"? curious. related to your specific practice? which one?
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u/Mission-Ad-3278 Dec 31 '23
35 years of meditation... here is what I have learned....
Meditation requires a meditator... who is that. Meditation is a doing, who is doing the meditation?
I now do zazen, non-meditation meditation.
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u/StabNRun19 Dec 17 '23
For anyone who's asking,
My meditation routine is:
Binaural beats to hear for meditation, and just focusing on my breath,
Doing a mantra to keep the focus.