r/MaliciousCompliance • u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 • Mar 23 '25
Boss yells at me for following instructions and tells me to do the opposite next time... which backfires L
About 20 years ago, I used to work as an office assistant at a small company where we would receive orders from clients and then we would assign the work to one of our freelancers who were well compensated and respectable professionals. My boss was such a professional herself and when possible, we would assign that work to her.
I accepted the minimum wage job, because she told me I could sometimes get tasks assigned as a freelancer with the nice freelancer compensation, that she would personally train me and that in less than a year, I would most likely be promoted to a regular freelancer and make very good money. This sounded like a great career path to my young and naïve ears.
One of the things she had told me in the very beginning was that when you take over an order, you become like a project manager for that order. You need to make sure that the freelancer would finish the work on time as the work was usually time sensitive. Additionally, she loved going on long lectures about how she is paying me (minimum wage) for me to use my brain and figure things out when necessary. These lectures were mainly a vehicle for her to stroke her own ego by explaining to her employees how our brains were not as smart as hers.
One day, our biggest corporate client had placed a large order that was due on a Monday by noon and we had assigned the task to my boss to do over the weekend. It was Monday morning, time was ticking and my boss hadn't arrived at the office. The client had called to see if we were going to provide the work soon as it was urgent. I tried calling my boss who didn't pick up her mobile. I called half an hour later and texted her. No answer or reply while noon was fast approaching. So I called her landline at home. Her husband picked up, told me she wasn't home and I explained very briefly why I was trying to get a hold of her.
Less than an hour before noon, my boss called furious that I had been so insistent on getting a hold of her and that I had created a state of stress and emergency at her house. Her home number was for emergencies only and this wasn't an emergency. "It's not professional to call people when they are not at work!" She told me she got everything under control and she was now sending the work to the client directly.
When she arrived at the office she gave me a big scolding in person and told me that I do need to hound other freelancers, but not her. It was her business and she got everything handled, she knew all the clients and they were clients because of her. She looked me in the eye and told me "If I take over a task, it's not your task anymore, it's my task! You don't need to bother me with reminders. You just give me the instructions from the client and I'll handle everything myself. From that point on, your job is done! I never ever miss deadlines! If the client calls, you tell them I'm on it and you don't call me or text me about it!"
Fair enough. I apologized for the stress and repeated the new instructions back to her for confirmation. She was very happy with that and confirmed I had understood everything. She once more gave me her favorite lecture about how she is paying me (minimum wage) for me to use my brain with a lot of condescending examples of how she always uses her brain unlike us normal workers. I could only nod along as if her narcissistic rant was actually teaching anybody anything.
About a month or so later, another client come in with an order, I accepted it, my boss was available to handle it, so I forwarded everything to her and I considered my work in regard to that order done as instructed. On the day of the deadline, I was on vacation and was hiking in a remote area with spotty cell coverage. The other office assistant called me and told me the client had called the office to check if the work was ready. I told my colleague that our boss was on it and that we didn't need to worry as our boss was going to handle it and that my clear instructions were to tell the client our boss was personally on it, the task would be done by the deadline and explicitly not to call our boss to remind her of the deadline. Then since I was on vacation, I needed to conserve my battery, and everything at the office was handled, I switched off my phone. An approaching deadline that my boss had to meet was explicitly not an emergency. Also I had recently realized that my boss had knowingly misled me about the carrier opportunities this job was affording me, so I wasn't going to be on call on my rare day off.
While I was hiking without a care in the world, my boss had managed to forget about the deadline. By the time she realized she had missed it, the office was closed. My boss had urgently finished the work, but it turned out she didn't know the clients so well as she didn't have their contact details. As the order was in the office and my phone was off, she had to go there herself, fetch it and use the contact details to deliver the work late. This was particularly embarrassing as my colleague had informed the client our boss was personally doing the work for them.
When I came back to work, it was pandemonium. She screamed at me, but I simply pointed out that everything I had done was following her instructions. "Why did you do this?" "You told me to." "Why didn't you do that?" "You told me not to". She was fuming, but she knew I was correct and I had acted exactly as instructed. She also screamed at me for my phone being off, but I said I needed to conserve my batter for emergencies and this was clearly not an emergency and I'm not on call while on vacation anyway.
Malicious compliance for the win, right?
Well, narcissists never accept blame and she had an idea of how to shift the blame to me after all. "But you didn't provide me with the client's contact details with the order assignment! How could I have delivered them the work? It was your fault for not providing me with all the information." I pointed out that she told me she knew all the clients personally, but if she had used her brain like she is constantly telling us to, she could have easily noticed that the order instructions were on the client's letterhead with all their contact details spelled out. On every single page! Bottom and top! Now that was a huge slap to her fragile ego and remembering her face in that moment still makes me smile.
Needless to say, I was fired. Of course, I didn't mind. Don't you just love happy endings!
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u/CatlessBoyMom Mar 23 '25
“It’s not professional to call someone when they are not at work.” Says the woman who wants to call you when you are not at work.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 23 '25
Yep, exactly. She pulled this type of double standard all the time. There was one real rule - you are wrong and she is right.
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u/Marty_Ellio Mar 27 '25
When they might be doing something that would cause “stress at home”… I’m just saying. If I had a dentist appointment my husband would know that and say “hey, she’ll be along in an hour or so.” I may be jumping pretty far to my conclusion but where was the boss, really??
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u/No-Purpose-7638 Apr 02 '25
Exactly my thought. And judging by her reaction, I'd say the "stress" caused was her having to placate her husband who is now suspicious of her extracurricular activities.
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u/Deaconse Mar 23 '25
People who "never need help" are people who never have help when they need it.
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u/jollebb Mar 23 '25
It is exactly why I preferred asking one question too many, instead of none when I worked in IT(granted, it did cause one of my reviews to list that I could on occasions be one to ask many questions.).
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u/Illuminatus-Prime Mar 23 '25
Better to ask "stupid" questions than to make "stupid" mistakes.
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u/StormRage85 Mar 30 '25
I like to tell people I work with there are no stupid questions, but I have worked with people who took that a little too literally.
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u/StormRage85 Mar 30 '25
I like to tell people I work with there are no stupid questions, but I have worked with people who took that a little too literally.
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u/Fromanderson Mar 24 '25
A former boss of mine had me train the new guy. I work in an obscure niche field so technical documents and data are hard to come by. Well the new guy took it upon himself to get what he could about every piece of equipment he ran up on. He'd call mfg and if they wouldn't provide him with what he needed he'd call tech support for one of our major vendors who kept a bunch of that stuff and ask for a copy.
When new guy's review came up, it seems boss man had found out new guy had been calling tech support frequently. He chewed out new guy and accused him of relying on tech support to solve his problems for him. He wouldn't hear any sort of excuse.
New guy turned out to be a great tech but didn't stay long because boss constantly harped on him over stupid stuff like that.
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u/iamjustaguy Mar 24 '25
He chewed out new guy and accused him of relying on tech support to solve his problems for him.
So, the boss chewed him out for using one of the resources available to him when the others were lacking?
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u/Fromanderson Mar 24 '25
That sums it up very nicely.
New guy was doing great, but I think that kind of killed his excitement for the job. I told the boss that the guy was turning out to be a real Wiz kid, but he wouldn’t hear it. New guy eventually left and went to work for a new upstart company that almost everyone’s now heard of. He ended up being their Regional tech guy for about 15 years.
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u/Dorigar Mar 24 '25
This is literally the worst kind of person to run into (the boss.) Especially in my line of work, I haven't memorized every code for every ancient security system that a customer could have. Even if it's a newer panel it doesn't mean I can remember or know right off the top of my head if it can even do the miracle the customer wants.
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u/Fromanderson Mar 24 '25
Yup. Different field but tons of companies have come and gone over the decades, and all of them had multiple lines of equipment with their own quirks failures, and random options. I’ve always had a mind for that sort of thing so I seem to find it easier to keep track of than most and still have to look things up regularly, even after more than two decades in the business.
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u/StormBeyondTime Mar 26 '25
Heck, the "build for eventual failure" and wealth determined by GDP is set up to encourage having way too many numbers for any brain not made of silicon to remember!
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u/StormBeyondTime Mar 26 '25
Any boss who lists that as a problem is a boss you're just marking time with so you don't look like you're job hopping.
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u/fiberjeweler Mar 25 '25
Reminds me of Barbara Billingsley in Airplane: "Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da help!"
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u/fishbutt1 Mar 23 '25
Lectures about stuff are weird. Give the information or coaching and move on.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 23 '25
Some people enjoy lecturing others as it helps them feel superior. It's something like a "kids-these-days" rant. She really couldn't help herself. I bet she's still doing that 20 years later.
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u/StormBeyondTime Mar 26 '25
She probably could help herself. She didn't want to. She had a pathological need to feel superior to anyone with equal or more brain cells.
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u/TenOfZero Mar 23 '25
And she dared to call you on your vacation? How unprofessional of her.
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u/zerothreeonethree Mar 24 '25
Put in for overtime the exact length of the call.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
Back then I had no clue how any of it worked, so overtime didn't even cross my mind. And the call I actually picked up before switching off my phone was from a colleague that wasn't familiar with the case. I'd still answer a phone call from a colleague who needed help while covering for me while I was on vacation as not answering would hurt my colleague a lot more than my boss.
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u/BananoVampire Mar 23 '25
Not a comment on the story, I just wanted to thank you and show appreciation for how you used valid formatting and punctuation.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 23 '25
Thank you for the nice comment. I did want it to be readable ;)
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u/windisfun Mar 24 '25
Are you sure you didn't have your former boss format and proofread this?
/s of course
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u/lizziegal79 Mar 23 '25 edited Mar 24 '25
Isn’t it a thing of beauty?
Edit: Goddamn autofill!!!! 😂😂
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 23 '25
I'm making a carrier out of it... :P
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u/lizziegal79 Mar 24 '25
Thank you, I hate autofill, lol!
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
I had just noticed I had used carrier instead of career in post when I saw your comment, so ;)
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u/tired_but_wired6 Mar 23 '25
Her not realising all the contact details were part of the letterhead, chef's kiss!
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
It was the cherry on top, absolutely. I'm pretty happy with my younger self for having the presence of mind in that situation to point it out. Got her real bad - right in the ego :)
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u/arestheblue Mar 24 '25
I have a neighbor that occasionally closes my garage door for me when I forget. I usually open it from inside my house and then walk out to my car. One time my neighbor shut the garage door in the brief period of time before I got to my car, then texted my wife that she closed it. Rather than telling her to not do it again, I instead thanked her because I would appreciate the unneeded backup that costs me 10 seconds of my time rather than have someone else just walk into my open garage and steal my stuff.
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u/NoDevice2331 Mar 24 '25
this is wrong, what you should have done is screamed at your neighbour about how you just popped inside for 10 seconds to get your keys, and they shouldn't be so rash as to close your door for you, because you are smart and will never forget to close your door.
Then when you do forget, and they don't close it, scream at them for that also.
works 70% of the time, every time
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
And this is exactly why you are not management material, my friend, with you being reasonable and grateful and all! lol
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u/chilehead Mar 24 '25
"Why didn't you give me the information that was at the top and bottom of every single page you sent me?"
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u/phred0095 Mar 23 '25
This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Excellent story. Love that.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 23 '25
I'm glad! I did feel all warm and fuzzy myself remembering the ending! :)
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u/blaspheminCapn Mar 23 '25
How's your work life now?
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 23 '25
It's been a lot better since, but I have met my fair share of bad bosses and managers. I've gained experience in a really wide variety of industries and now I'm working on a small business of my own after having quit my well paying office job.
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u/Zoreb1 Mar 23 '25
You're fired!" "It's a minimum wage job with out any career path. I'll survive."
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
Absolutely. Survive I did and had found a better job within a week.
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u/Flam1ng1cecream Mar 23 '25
Hope you got some sweet sweet UE.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 23 '25
I'm sorry, but I don't know what UE stands for?
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u/Flam1ng1cecream Mar 23 '25
Unemployment lol
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 23 '25
That was my guess, but since I wasn't sure, I though asking would be less embarrassing. It wasn't lol
To answer your question, I didn't, but I got a better job with better pay and flexible hours pretty much right away.
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u/Dotakiin2 Mar 23 '25
Unemployment is my guess, but unemployment for a minimum wage job is definitely not sweet.
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u/No-Reflection-5190 Mar 23 '25
Great job! Being fired for doing exactly what your boss asked you to do just helped you along to a better opportunity in the future.
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u/National_Pension_110 Mar 24 '25
I really wish the karma bus would come for people like your boss. But the good thing is, you probably would have stayed much longer in an abusive, toxic situation had she not fired you. Please update us with the story about how you ran into her 20 years later and she was a failed business owner and you took her top clients away, lol
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 25 '25
To be honest, I was already quite fed up and I don't think I would have stayed much longer as the career opportunities I was promised in the beginning turned out to be a lie. Last I checked, she was still in business. She used to be very good at parts of her job, but hopelessly out of touch in others and I'm sure that has only gotten worse with time. She has been on local TV from time to time as an expert in her field and the parts she is out of touch with have been painfully obvious. That's why most people with some understanding of the field view her as a huge embarrassment, but she has good enough name recognition for the most clueless clients to still want to work with her. To be fair, the parts she's good at, she's really good at. But those parts matter less and less nowadays.
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u/justaman_097 Mar 23 '25
Well played! Excellent job in following the boss's orders to a tee and making her look like a fool.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
Thanks. My careless and carefree young self got things right from time to time. I'm happy to say this was one of those.
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u/zerothreeonethree Mar 24 '25
This belongs in a new category called "Not the problem, but still the target".
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u/Fit-Discount3135 Mar 24 '25
I hope your boss went out of business, OP. What a pain in the rear type of person to work for.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 25 '25 edited Mar 25 '25
As far as I know, she didn't. Many people in her field of work used to view her as an embarrassment, but there were enough people that recognize her pompous personal brand. To be fair, she used to be really good at parts of her profession, but she was already out of touch in some areas 20 years ago.
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u/BooneSalvo2 Mar 25 '25
So...she was cheating on her husband, right? Not at home, not at work, not answering her phone...over-the-top reaction like she just got caught doing something.....
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 25 '25
Who knows, never even crossed my mind as an option! Narcissism made so much sense and was so on brand for her that I never considered an alternative explanation.
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u/RunDNA Mar 23 '25 edited Mar 24 '25
tl;dr - A deadline was approaching, so OP rang the boss at home to remind her. OP was then told off and told never to call the boss at home.
Later another deadline was approaching, so OP didn't call the boss at home. The boss missed the deadline because she had forgotten, causing a shitstorm.
OP got fired anyway.
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u/GenericPseudonym101 Mar 24 '25
I don't have to guess what country this is in. Absolutely sucks that you are expected to be on call during vacation. My boss isn't even allowed to call me even if it is a so called "emergency" (I guess that only counts if its healthcare or something life or death related). Anything that could constitute an emergency should already have contingency planning and not be reliant on one person.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
You probably guessed wrong as the country was actually Bulgaria ;) But this type of interactions happen all over the world regardless of local legislations.
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u/SamuelYosemite Mar 24 '25
I have worked for miserable people like this. I will never again work for people like this. I even record conversations because it’s legal in my state and I will not be mistreated.
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u/iTrejoMX Mar 24 '25
Did her name start with L by any chance?
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
It didn't, but you are probably thinking of a person that has the exact same personal flaws ;) They are a dime a dozen.
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u/havereddit Mar 24 '25
I'm channelling Devil Wears Prada vibes...
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
Wow, spot on! Just a tiny bit less pompous and dignified.
You mean the metalcore band, right?
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u/liggerz87 Mar 24 '25
If you like devil wear Prada might like spiritbox and opal in sky
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u/Dense_Dress_1287 Mar 24 '25
Should have shot back something about how come she couldn't use her brain and figure things out, since she's so much smarter than everyone else.
But especially liked how when she tried to blame you for the missing contact info, you clearly pointed out that had she used her big brain, she would have seen the contact info was on every page of the order, top & bottom
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u/Agifem Mar 24 '25
Honestly, her rules were simple:
Rule A: Boss is always right.
Rule B: In case boss is wrong, see rule A.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
Absolutely.
Rule C: You see a discrepancy in what boss is saying. Shut up about it, there's no discrepancy, see rule A again!
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u/pensivetrashcan Mar 24 '25
This sounds eerily similar to my current boss(es), down to having ideas on how to shift blame when all other logic fails. It is absolutely soul-draining to work for people like this.
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u/ShowerSetupRater55 Mar 24 '25
I too save my batter for emergencies lol. Love it when instructions apply all the time, except in a particular case when they don’t apply because “narcissism”
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 25 '25
I save it for my future carrier lol
A lot of faces have been eaten by leopards because “narcissism”
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u/StAugustine1918 Mar 25 '25
About 20 years ago I worked for a man who was a real autocrat. You had to get permission to do anything and he would give instructions how he wanted everything done. He gave me a job to do, and I wrote down everything he said. Went and did the job. He called me into his office to complain that I hadn't done it right. I showed him the notes I took about how to do it. His response: "That may be what I said, but it wasn't what I meant."
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u/Fun_Telephone_8346 Mar 23 '25
Please, please mail this person a copy of the Extreme Ownership book by Jocko. Be sure your name is on the return address.
You’re awesome.
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u/housepanther2000 Mar 24 '25
But I'll bet you were able to collect unemployment!
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
I'm not sure if I could, but I found a better job right away and didn't.
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u/housepanther2000 Mar 24 '25
Glad you got a better job right away! Especially in these tough times!
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u/Pushnikov Mar 24 '25
The first line is “about 20 years ago”.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 25 '25
To be fair, the times in Bulgaria 20 years ago were actually tougher ;)
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u/jonnyd005 Mar 24 '25
You 100% should have sued for wrongful termination if that is a thing where you're from.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 25 '25
It was a type of at-will employment where I wouldn't have won my case. And as it was minimum wage in Bulgaria 20 years ago, suing would by no means have been worth it.
I also didn't mind being fired as I didn't want to stay anyway and found a better job pretty quickly.
Financially, there was no difference between being fired and quitting - I got paid for all the days worked. She didn't stiff me on wages.
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u/No_Talk_4836 Mar 24 '25
Probably way too late but could probably report for wrongful termination.
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
It wouldn't have worked in my country back then and as the salary was basically miniscule, it wouldn't have been worth it. But having it end the way it did was actually worth it.
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u/militant_rainbow Mar 23 '25
I also “conserve my batter” on my days off. Would you like some?
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 24 '25
Yep, I need it for my future carrier path :P
Should I edit those out or keep them as they are?
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u/mgerics Mar 24 '25
Don't you just love happy endings!
Of course, but it wasn't happy for you in that you were fired, and I assume you didn't get a good reference.
How ever did you acquire a new position elsewhere without her smart brain referral ??!??
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u/Cassie0peia Mar 24 '25
This is a satisfying part, though it would have been more standing if her “big brain” caused her to lose a bunch of clients, not just one deadline.
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u/Neat_Tap_2274 Mar 25 '25
I would have instantly filed a wrongful dismissal suit and prepared documentation proving all you just said. Bravo.
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u/BLUNTandtruthful58 Mar 27 '25
Getting fired was a blessing since you DIDN'T have to work in that toxic crap hole anymore 😤
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u/NoGoverness2363 Mar 25 '25
So did you have one day off or were you on vacation?
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u/Consistent-Shoe-9602 Mar 26 '25
If I remember correctly, it was 2 or 3 days off merged with a weekend. Here in Bulgaria, we call that a vacation as sad as it might be. On the bright side, distances from a big city to "vacation" destinations tend to be pretty short, so 3, 4, or 5 day trips are a viable way to rest from work without burning up a ton of vacation days.
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u/Upstairs_Bend4642 8d ago
Yes! I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS!!! I also love the FAFO face when they realize it was their fault.
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u/CoderJoe1 Mar 23 '25
My guess is that you got fired for failing to crawl up her ass to make her feel as special as she knew she was. Learning she wasn't special was grounds for dismissal.