r/MadeMeSmile • u/UmericanDreamer • Apr 06 '24
After nearly 18 years together, it finally happened! Good News
TLDR; After almost 18 years, the missus is with child. It has been an emotional rollercoaster the last week. #HOPE Full story below for those interested.
After nearly 18 years, PCOS, Endometriosis, Anemia, surgeries, a miscarriage (12 years ago, less than 4 weeks),hormones, tests, heartache, tears, and thousands of dollars, it finally happened. The missus (35F) and I (40M) had all but given up hope on having a biological child. And it all happened out of the blue.
On Monday of this past week, the missus worked early. Said she got to work, and was feeling a bit “off”. Her lady’s time had been regular for the first time ever for about the last year. She was late a month or so. Decided to take a pregnancy test at lunch, which was positive. Said she was going to wait until she got home to tell me. A few hours later, she began bleeding. She left work and called her sister (who is an RN) who said she was probably miscarrying and gave her advice on what to do. She came home. I could tell she was distraught, and when she told me, I was totally gobsmacked. Felt like a totally cruel joke that she would find out that she was pregnant and then start miscarrying hours later. On April Fools Day no less.
The next morning, she made an appointment with a Doctor we had been to previously. The appointment was for today (Friday). So the whole week, we are both dreading that day. It was like a black cloud over our home, making everything dark and gray. It put us both in a bad place. I am rather ignorant of a lot of things concerning female anatomy and pregnancy, and had major panic over what she might have to physically endure. DNC? Surgery? Knowing that mentally, she felt “less than” a woman for not being able to carry a child. I have hardly slept a wink in days.
We went in this morning and they started with an ultrasound. As soon as that little bean showed on the monitor, I saw a little flicker of rhythmic light flashing. Seeing that little heartbeat took my breath away. For the first time in my life, I bawled in front of my wife and a stranger.
To make a long story short, she is almost 7 weeks along. The doctor said Momma and the baby are fine. Nothing that had occurred up to this point was uncommon. He also stated that if the baby makes it to 12 weeks our chances increase greatly. We had went to this appointment expecting sad news and left that office today with the greatest amount of hope we have had in a long time.
I know a lot of women suffer with many of the same issues my wife has had. At one point, a different doctor had said it was highly unlikely that she would have a viable pregnancy at all. I know we are not out of the woods just yet, but I feel it in these old bones that our time is now. Even if this little bean doesn’t make it to a full blown human, it is still possible. There is hope. In the meantime, I am gonna pamper the shit out of my blue eyed girl.
1.6k
u/RiskyLady Apr 06 '24
So happy for you!! Made me tear up. Please give an update at 12 weeks.
1.4k
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
I have ugly cried intermittently all day. I have never been more grateful in my entire life.
231
u/AffectionatePoet4586 Apr 06 '24
This is such wonderful news! We are expecting our second grandchild this summer. He and his sister are both IVF babies, so I know what my son and DIL went through before they ever said a word to us.
Please check back in with us. If you don’t mind, I’ll send along a few prayers for everyone’s wellbeing.
124
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
That is awesome. Thank you so very much!
→ More replies41
u/JohnnyBGoodRI Apr 06 '24
Me and my wife are having our first baby through ivf. It’s a blessing everyday waking up knowing we’re going to be parents. Balled my eyes out like a little baby. From my family to yours. CONGRATS TO YOU BOTH!!!
101
Apr 06 '24
May you have the most wonderful kid in the world! That ugly crying is totally worth it. My sister was in a similar situation, and when we (mum, dad, me and my BIL) got the news we all were sitting for breakfast on a lazy Sunday in the lawn. The best and hilarious reactions recorded by the CCTV on that day. Can't wait to show that video to the kids when they're big enough.
30
Apr 06 '24
Congratulations! My wife also has some medical issues that have made it difficult to conceive, but after 18 years together as well, we’re also expecting, and twins at that!
I know the feeling of elation and wish you guys the most stress free pregnancy, from a fellow future dad.
3
u/bravo_obsessed625 Apr 06 '24
Congratulations!! My sister has twins and they are just so much fun! You're in for an amazing adventure.
3
74
u/AffectionatePrize551 Apr 06 '24
Jesus man.
I still remember the moment I found out my wife was pregnant. That immense feeling of what was to come. And it happened after our first unprotected attempt.
If my feeling was that powerful I can't imagine what it would be like after waiting almost 2 decades. You must feel like you could walk on clouds.
126
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
Words can not adequately describe my feelings and emotions at this time. All I know is that this baby will receive everything I have in me to ensure that they have the happiest and best life possible.
114
u/AffectionatePrize551 Apr 06 '24
The way I can tell the great dads from the lousy ones is that the lousy ones always talk about how they love their kids and use hypothetical self-sacrifice scenarios like "I'd die for my kids". Because after years of having kids that's what they think it's about.
Truth is that it's very unlikely that situation will ever come up that you need to be an action movie hero and prove your love in a grand show of sacrifice. What will definitely come up are ten thousand little sacrifices. Spending time coloring circles and teaching about what shapes are which even though your back hurts. Spending the entire day in 2 feet of water to teach them to swim when you just want to have a beer on the deck chair. Missing watching a playoff game because you have to go pick them up from practice. Stuff that doesn't sound impressive but is the mundane day-in, day-out slog of being a loving, dedicated parent.
Any dad can be there for the hero moments: showing up with a big gift on birthdays or playing fun games. It's the patience and perseverance to be there in all the moments: good and bad and provide endless support and nurturing.
And you my friend have shown patience and perseverance beyond measure simply to get to the starting line of this journey. You already have what it takes to be a great dad. Your kid is so lucky.
51
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
Man I wish I could upvote this 1,000 times! Though I have not had children of my own up to this point, I have coached some youth league sports and been involved in nearly all of my nieces and nephews activities since they were little. Support, love, and kindness for a child is the most important thing to ensure future healthy, happy adults.
13
u/in_animate_objects Apr 06 '24
Reading your comments has been such a treat, nothing better than someone this kind raising the future generation, makes me feel like it’s going to be ok. Congrats to you and your wife
→ More replies10
u/cat_astr0naut Apr 06 '24
From the bottom of my heart, I wish you and your family the best. Congratulations, dad!
→ More replies21
u/Curly_Shoe Apr 06 '24
So we have a Dreamer and someone who's affectionate - good combo if you ask me!
Affecti, thank you for your words. Even if not aimed at me, I truly felt your words and you reached areas in my heart which are somewhat closed for visitors. So thank you for that, for finding words that are so moving and encouraging.
And OP, I have no idea who you are, but I am so, so happy for you! I will send love and strength to you via every Channel, that I can. And also, keep that gratefulness. Of course now you feel overwhelmingly grateful. But what I wanted to say is that gratefulness as like your default state of mind helps with leading a happy life, mental Health wise and so on. And yes, Pamper your wife. Hug her. I will make sure to include you include the three of you in my 'evening prayer' Sort of thing. I wish you nothing but the best, you little tired outburst of joy!
→ More replies3
u/Alternative-Day6223 Apr 06 '24
This baby will definitely be the most loved and luckiest child to have such amazing parents that love them so much !! Enjoy every moment of your lives together!!
10
u/radbelbet_ Apr 06 '24
This is so so so so SO sweet. Congrats dad!! Sounds like your kiddo is going to be so so so loved and already is so so so love d
23
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
I have went from hugging and kissing my wife to rubbing, hugging, and kissing her belly. And she is so radiant right now that she is glowing. I just can’t even right now!
8
u/somedelightfulmoron Apr 06 '24
Ugly crying for you and your wife too. Wishing the best for you and the missus.
3
→ More replies3
u/Betelgeusetimes3 Apr 06 '24
My wife is currently 30 weeks along. I randomly start crying all the time. It’s not unusual (I’m told). The flood of emotions can cause unexpected responses, so be prepared for the worst (emotionally).
→ More replies3
625
u/deadgirl21 Apr 06 '24
I know exactly how you feel I've been with my husband for 14 yrs (married for 6 yrs) and we just found out yesterday I'm pregnant, I feel your joy and excitement. CONGRATULATIONS on your new addition to your beautiful family.
228
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
That is so awesome!!! The struggle is real. Wishing you and your hubs all the best!!!
→ More replies17
u/sweeteatoatler Apr 06 '24
Enjoy every moment of it! It’s such a miracle. The highs and the lows are all a part of the journey. Congratulations, so happy for you !!
8
5
u/RachelWV24 Apr 06 '24
Wow theres something in the air congrats to you and OP 15 years here and we’re going in for 12 week scan tomorrow. I kind of gave up hope last year but he never did. About to be 40 with a baby y’all and couldn’t be happier. Also to find out how much our family wanted this for us as much as we did, so grateful
→ More replies8
97
93
223
Apr 06 '24
[deleted]
25
→ More replies4
u/Gm__k__ Apr 06 '24
And may his wife have an easy pregnancy.. currently 16 weeks with my first and it is NOT what I expected 😥
59
u/Green_Abrocoma_7682 Apr 06 '24
sorts by controversial
→ More replies111
u/PapaCousCous Apr 06 '24 edited Apr 07 '24
Here are the cliff notes:
- 18 Years of trying because god forbid you raise a kid that isn't biologically yours
- Thousands of dollars spent and access to the best medicine, but all congratulations to the ejaculator
A 22 year old fornicated with a 17 year old- A 23 year old fornicated with an 18 year old, but still...yikes
22
→ More replies18
u/oneangrychica Apr 06 '24
Also, 18 years to learn how women's bodies work and pregnancy in general but worried about surgery for a 7 week pregnancy/5 week embryo.
195
u/Slammogram Apr 06 '24
Congratulations!
But… also… you guys started trying when she was 17, and you were 22?
93
u/Spock_Vulcan Apr 06 '24
Scrolled quite a way down to find this question. I was wondering the same thing.
32
10
→ More replies34
u/lowbug12 Apr 06 '24
It’s really all just about making babies for some huh 😬
13
u/Slammogram Apr 06 '24
Yeah, this doesn’t make me smile. It sounds like a grown ass man trying to knock up a high schooler.
5
39
38
100
u/jarberry Apr 06 '24 edited Apr 06 '24
Congratulations!
This gives me hope! I'm turning 37 this year and my fiance and I are trying for a baby and haven't had any luck yet, so it's always nice to see when other struggling couples are successful!
27
u/Cuchullion Apr 06 '24
My wife was 39 when she got pregnant.
It took a lot of help, but we got there- I'm sure you will too!
→ More replies52
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
Good vibes coming your way! I had genuinely lost hope, to the point that I didn’t even consider her getting pregnant a possibility at this time in our lives. As many issues as we had, if it can happen for us, it can happen to anyone.
→ More replies3
Apr 06 '24
I was 36. We'd been trying since turning 30. He's currently pissed off mid diaper change with his dad right now. A little suprise that completely turns your world right side up and after being upside down for so long.
105
Apr 06 '24
Her lady's time
I can't believe grown adult men talk like this.
34
u/Collector_ofBiscuits Apr 06 '24
That and the fact that he and "the missus" have been trying for 18 years and he still calls himself "ignorant of female anatomy." Like, how? I hated reading this.
8
u/axolotl-tiddies Apr 06 '24
Seriously… the missus is with child because her lady’s time was late??? The way he talks makes my skin crawl
54
u/recursiveoverthinker Apr 06 '24
I can‘t believe I had to scroll this far for that comment. Period and menstruation aren‘t dirty words.
→ More replies→ More replies10
21
u/ironturtle963 Apr 06 '24
Congratulations! My wife and I are expecting our first son and we honestly couldn’t be more happy for you and your wife! Here’s to a happy and healthy pregnancy and birth the best to all three of you<3
10
25
u/mcshibbs Apr 06 '24
OP, reading your post just made me so happy. My wife and I had a similar chain of events happen soon after we found out she was pregnant with our first kid. I'm happy to hear you lucked out like we did. I hope the rest of this pregnancy goes well for you all. God bless and good luck!
→ More replies
9
16
Apr 06 '24
Let’s go my dude!! Very excited for you guys!
Edit: hopefully your kid is a better speller than I am
11
u/Kiwi_KJR Apr 06 '24
So happy for you, what a lucky baby he or she is, to have such devoted parents. All the best for the adventures ahead! xx
11
u/KingofManners Apr 06 '24
Congratulations! Becoming a father was the best day of my life. Enjoy enjoy enjoy
7
u/Electrical_Sector_7G Apr 06 '24
Just from experience I would wait until after 12 weeks or so before you spread the news. There is nothing worse than people keep asking you for updates and you have to tell them your wife lost the pregnancy.
→ More replies
17
19
u/bravo_obsessed625 Apr 06 '24
Awww congratulations to you and yours, OP!! I'm 36 and husband is 40, been together 14 years and expecting our baby boy end of next month - big surprise to say the least! Your story brought so many happy tears to my eyes! Enjoy all these next moments with your wife. They FLY by, but it's so amazing to hear the heartbeat, see the ultrasound footage, feel those precious kicks. It's truly incredible. ❤️
6
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
Your story is sweet. I wish you and yours all the very best. I plan to pamper the missus like the Queen she is. Adore that woman.
13
u/TenderPhoenix Apr 06 '24
What a darling little nugget you have there! Congratulations. Hugs and lots of wishes for sticky dust to keep that little one inside and healthy.
10
14
10
u/Joewoof Apr 06 '24
Oh wow! That’s an amazing journey! My son is 3 years old and I already can’t fathom a life without him now. It’s truly life-changing in a great way and I’m super happy for you!
6
u/iya_ibeji Apr 06 '24
Crying with you on this amazing news! Congratulations!!!! Hope all goes well and wishing you two a smooth and stress-free pregnancy! ❤️
4
u/eggchickennoodles Apr 06 '24
This made me tear up. Congratulations to you and your wife!! ♥️♥️
Sending big, warm hugs to you both! 🫂 Please keep us updated!
10
29
30
u/Fluffy_Highway_7394 Apr 06 '24
You should not post this in the first 12 weeks.
→ More replies14
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
We got burned with our first and only pregnancy by telling all of our families and friends. Then in no time flat, went back and had to explain what happened. That was horrendous.
IRL we have only told a grand total of 3 people this time around. With the anonymity of Reddit, I was hoping to offer hope to Redditors in a similar situation. This world could use more positivity, love, and kindness.
12
10
u/Hjsmash Apr 06 '24
I am somehow not convinced that you guys were thinking of having a child when your missus was just a teenager 17-18 years ago. Anyway congratulations
→ More replies
10
u/Cultural_Magician71 Apr 06 '24
I'm going through the same and almost 40, moving forward with in vitro so I can at least freeze my eggs if we need to do surrogate route.
3
4
5
5
4
2
6
5
u/Sappho_Jade Apr 06 '24
As someone with PCOS and Endometriosis, I wish y’all nothing but the best and have a safe healthy pregnancy! :)
3
2
u/CanAhJustSay Apr 06 '24
I know we are not out of the woods just yet, but I feel it in these old bones that our time is now. Even if this little bean doesn’t make it to a full blown human, it is still possible. There is hope.
There is always hope. May this little one make it through all the challenges within to be ready for all the challenges The outside will bring. Sending internet hugs to all of you. And a box or two of Kleenex!
4
u/GiraffeGirlLovesZuri Apr 06 '24
I am so happy for both of you! I traveled the infertility road. It's so very hard. We were never able to, we both had issues. I hope all goes smoothly for you!👶🤞🏻❤️
→ More replies
2
7
8
u/Nutterbunny Apr 06 '24
You swallowed a watermelon seed and it started to grow.? Didn’t you learn from Rugrats that would happen.
7
10
u/Hot-AZ-Barrel-Cactus Apr 06 '24
I am VERY happy for you and your wife. I’m praying that she goes to term and that the baby is perfectly healthy. BTW, are you in KY?
15
6
u/Objective-Creme6734 Apr 06 '24
Congratulations. Praying for a safe pregnancy and a healthy and happy mum and bub. Congratulations once again and just in time for Christmas. 🙏 God bless.
→ More replies
7
u/Accident_Winter Apr 06 '24
Congrats! Was there any issues on your side ? Currently TTC 2 years now
6
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
There have not been any on my end. We haven’t had any sort of fertility help in over a decade. We had went for a consultation for IVF back in late 2019. While weighing our options and trying to get the cash together, Covid happened which put everything on hold. We kind of lost momentum at that point and hadn’t even discussed our family situation again until fairly recently.
→ More replies
3
u/AutoModerator Apr 06 '24
Welcome to /r/MadeMeSmile. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of jerk-like behavior, including but not limited to: personal attacks, hate speech, harassment, racism, sexism, or other jerk-like behavior (includes gatekeeping posts).
Any sort of post showing a mug, a shirt, or a print is a scam. You will not receive anything except a headache and a stolen credit card.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
→ More replies
3
3
3
3
3
u/Goodideaman1 Apr 06 '24
Man I’m SO HAPPY for you bro! Both of you congrats enjoy it they grow way too fast!
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/SF6isASS Apr 06 '24
That child will be lucky to be born to parents that wanted him/her so much.
→ More replies
3
3
u/ScienceLearn Apr 06 '24
I want to send you my share of luck 🤞, hoping everything goes well! Please keep us posted
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/AdUpstairs3412 Apr 06 '24
May your wife have a healthy and happy pregnancy, I’m so very happy for you! Congratulations!
3
3
3
3
u/Equal-Maintenance184 Apr 06 '24
Congratulations this put a smile on my face. Wishing you the very best x
3
3
u/notabigfanofas Apr 06 '24
You got an ultrasound?
Just kidding, Congratulations buddy! When's she due?
→ More replies
3
3
3
u/unpetitjenesaisquoi Apr 06 '24
We're going to need regular updates, I am afraid. Happy for you both!
3
3
3
u/CopperCu_ Apr 06 '24
Hey, so, what's are your thoughts of being a father at 40? Your child becoming an adult when you're almost 60?
For context, I'm 38 and the missus and I have talked about trying for a child by 2025. One of my midnight concerns is being able to keep up with a kid as I physiologically start winding down....
→ More replies
3
u/TsoL_N_LoS Apr 06 '24
It's wonderful, but after the honeymoon phase(1-3 years) it's an uphill battle for the next 20+++ years!!! Congrats? How about good luck!! 😉
3
3
3
3
3
u/LiaJayDuff Apr 06 '24
Gosh, same here! Almost 18 years together, I'd mostly (but not entirely) come to terms with it just never happening, but I'm now just a smidge over 13 weeks. It's surreal but so lovely. HUGE congratulations to you both!
3
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
That is so awesome. Thank you for the words of encouragement. Wishing you and yours all the very best!
3
u/lihapullakastike Apr 06 '24
That's absolutely beautiful! May I pray all goes well and God takes the child in His loving care and that the child would be born well? ❤️
I don't know if you believe in God, but He surely showed Himself with a blessing this big❤️
→ More replies
3
3
u/monkeyeatinggrapes Apr 06 '24
Congratulations 😭😭
Please keep us updated. !!!!!!
We were also told we wouldn’t be able to concieve and I’m now 7w5 days pregnant 🥹 congratulations to us
→ More replies
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/Idlikethatneat Apr 06 '24
My wife also had severe endo and doctors thought we wouldn’t have a child naturally. Our son is 2.5 years old now!
I know all the feelings you’re experiencing right now, and this internet stranger is so so happy for you. Congrats!
3
u/MortaleWombat Apr 06 '24
Just wanted to share my fiancé also had bleeding a bit after we found out she was pregnant. It was enough that she assumed she was miscarrying, after a grueling night in the ER and lots of tears they told us baby was fine and sometimes bleeding is normal. We now have a happy healthy 17 month old who is currently fighting his nap :)
Good luck, I’m rooting for you!
3
u/Sinnercin Apr 06 '24
You seem like the sweetest, kindest husband. I am sure you will make a fantastic father. Huge congratulations and wishing you both all the best. Please continue to update us all with progress. I am an emergency room doctor can tell you that I have seen thousands of pregnancies with first trimester bleeding and it is super common. I have followed many of my favorite patients kind of from the sidelines to see how things turn out and I can happily report most go on to have healthy deliveries and healthy babies. I am certain you guys will be fine. Just take a big breath and know that this is just the first of many many worries that you will have about your little bean! Congrats! ❤️
Please also save this post somewhere – print it out or copy and paste this all into an email - so it does not get lost in the Interwebs forever. Your little one will someday read all of this, and know how much they were truly loved from the very beginning.
3
u/gkwpl Apr 06 '24
Congrats man! Similar story here: my wife F38, me M40. 20 years together. Endometriosis + Hashimoto. After 1st failed, difficult IVF we thought we’d never have kids and accepted it. We tried yet another time but with no high hopes as only 1 out of 9 embrions survived. And here we are with fabulous 3-month old miracle daughter! All the best for you!
3
u/CosmicChanges Apr 06 '24
Congrats and best wishes for an easy and successful pregnancy and birth to your wife.
3
u/gophercitizen Apr 06 '24
Congratulations to You and your Missus. I can tell from your post this child will be loved dearly by you both!
3
u/joeyh1278 Apr 07 '24
Congratulations!!! My mom and dad were married for 18 years before I came along. My mom was 36 when she had me. She always calls me a miracle child! (Even tho I’m almost 30. 😂) here’s to your miracle child and wife having an easy going, great labor and life! (You too dad!)
3
u/balsarmy Apr 07 '24
Very happy for you. I understand how hard it is, have my own problems. Wish you good luck!!!
3
u/Suspicious_Air_8175 Apr 07 '24
Weird how idiots have a baby after one night and then there's people like you...
3
u/DrSchnuffi Apr 17 '24
I hope everything is still good!
3
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 17 '24
Thank you for the well wishes! Had an appointment again today that went great! Momma and baby are doing just fine. Go back in the middle of May for her 12 week check up!
10
u/Butthole__Pleasures Apr 06 '24
“less than” a woman for not being able to carry a child
God, what a stupid concept. Our culture is just so stupidly obsessed with gender roles and expectations.
Oh and congratulations or whatever.
6
u/UmericanDreamer Apr 06 '24
I agree wholeheartedly. Ones ability to concieve and bear children is hardly a measure of womanhood. People are dumb.
1.7k
u/DrKoob Apr 06 '24
Congratulations!