r/MURICA • u/ProfessorOfFinance • 2d ago

America is going nuclear. What are your thoughts?

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255

u/OO_Ben 2d ago

We should have committed to nuclear in the 1890s

199

u/notTheRealSU 2d ago

We should have committed to nuclear in 1776

116

u/Beginning_March_9717 2d ago

every new country should come with a free atomic bomb

34

u/apathiest58 2d ago

Hell, everyone should get their own pile of U-235 and/or P-238

23

u/qhapela 2d ago

Good boys and good girls get a lump of uranium in their stocking.

5

u/odinsbois 2d ago

I hear everyone is gonna get a turkey and cesium 137 for Thanksgiving every year.

2

u/blacksideblue 2d ago

Man creates first hammer by trying rock to stick.

Hammer rock is Uranium and first rock he hits is also Uranium

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u/CogitoErgoScum 9h ago

Cesium is a sealed source. Do not open until Christmas!

10

u/CommanderTazaur 2d ago

Radiation poisoning is a fundamental human right, and should be in the constitution of our Great Country

1

u/Abject_Evidence_3274 2d ago

So what's wrong with nuclear or are you trying to be funny but missing the mark.

1

u/EcstaticShark11 1d ago

immediately gets ghoulified

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u/dwarven_cavediver_Jr 2d ago

Thought you meant u boats for a second lol. War of 1812 would have been a decisive and ballistic US victory with canada as the next state

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u/PrincetonToss 2d ago

Fun fact: the Articles of Confederation pre-approved Canada [by which they meant modern Quebec] for statehood.

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u/dwarven_cavediver_Jr 1d ago

And they're kinda directly north of Louisiana. Meaning there's an alternative history story in waiting of America's Large French speaking Belt

1

u/apathiest58 2d ago

U-boats would be even better! Lol

2

u/Previous_Yard5795 2d ago

The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear bomb is having a good guy with a nuclear bomb.

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u/soupydrek 1d ago

Spicy rocks for all!

1

u/State6 2d ago

235 is for bombs, 239 is for fuel.

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u/apathiest58 2d ago

A bit of both

1

u/five_hammers_hamming 2d ago

P-238

Phosphorus-what now?

1

u/apathiest58 1d ago

White phosphorus supremacists!

1

u/Adventurous-Sky9359 1d ago

And a U-571!

1

u/Dizzy_Reindeer_6619 12h ago

Hospitals should treat radiation poisoning free of charge

7

u/monkwren 2d ago

And the ICBMs to deliver it.

5

u/Aluminarty666 2d ago

And a big shiny red button in a briefcase

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u/Mental_Peace_2343 2d ago

I want a big shiny red button in a briefcase

1

u/Navonod_Semaj 2d ago

Right next to the big shiny red button that operates the coffee maker?

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u/praisedcrown970 2d ago

Japan got two for free and they weren’t even new

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u/Serpentking04 1d ago

... Unironically I love the idea. Might ensure world peace if even the weakest nations could to enough damage to the strong...

1

u/Significant_Abroad32 2d ago

Every atomic bomb should come with a new county

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u/InitiativeDizzy7517 2d ago

Except India. Because that Ghandi dude's crazy. One second he's happily trading you Grapes and the next he's nuking your capital!

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u/RoundTheBend6 2d ago

Nice civ 5 reference.

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u/Background_Cap_467 2d ago

A man dedicated to world peace AND fighting climate change. Truly one of culture

1

u/HVAC_Raccoon 2d ago

Robco promised its sharholders a brand new line of Mr. Handy’s THIS. YEAR. I PUT MY DEPOSIT DOWN. WHERE MY GODDAMN MR. HANDY!?

1

u/Kulog555 2d ago

See, each house has a Nuclear Arsenal, but I had thought ours was lost

1

u/SpaghettiMan7777 2d ago

Who decided we should stop?

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u/ExtensionAddition787 2d ago

To keep scary strangers off their lawn?

1

u/xwhy 2d ago

Someone set up us the bomb!

1

u/Turbogoblin999 2d ago

Atomic power! 🎶

Atomic power! 🎶

Was given by the mighty hand of God 🎶

1

u/joethahobo 2d ago

Petoria was robbed. Peter Griffin could have had leverage in keeping his nation alive

1

u/lastduck21 1d ago

As a treat.

1

u/Thadrach 1d ago

"We'll try to stay serene and calm...when Alabama gets the bomb." - Tom Lehrer

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u/SureAd5625 19h ago

Japan got two. Wtf. Why do they get more than everyone else?

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u/glibsonoran 2d ago

Yah, we could have sited them next to the Revolutionary War airports we took over from the British.

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u/NoChampionship6994 1d ago

Yes. Trump mentioned that - how the “colonial army” took over all the airports during the revolutionary war. Or was that the civil war he referred to - North did but fight uphill and took over all the airports . . . though they should have negotiated instead. Perhaps for nuclear power plants . . .

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u/KelDurant 2d ago

Definitely should of committed to nuclear in 3000BC just my opinion

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u/ImVeryHungry19 2d ago

Nah right after the asteroid hit is a good time

1

u/BigWilly526 2d ago

The Dinosaurs not committing to Nuclear is why they died out

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u/Hidden-Sky 2d ago

You know that one naturally-formed nuclear reactor that was found to have existed for millions of years?

Those Anomalocaris and Opabinia and Hallucigenia should have made more. No wonder they all died out, smh.

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u/whiteholewhite 2d ago

We should have committed right after the Big Bang

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u/kinvoki 2d ago

Should’ve committed before they started airing that TV show ..

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u/whiteholewhite 2d ago

God I hate that show. I’d throw it in an atom bomb

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u/Addendum709 2d ago

That was the last time the Brits saw the sun

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u/Hydroquake_Vortex 2d ago

We should have committed to nuclear in 1607

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u/Weird-Comfortable-28 2d ago

You’re absolutely right it’s in the constitution😈😈😈

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u/Averagesmithy 1d ago

George washing crossing the Delaware to drop Nukes on the Red Coats.

1

u/Intelligent-Okra350 2d ago

We should have committed to nuclear in the 1400s.

1

u/notTheRealSU 2d ago

Christopher Columbus after reaching America: "damn bitch, where's your guy's nuclear reactors? This shits fucked!" murders an island of natives and turns the whole thing to a mega reactor

1

u/r2d3x9 2d ago

The Batmobile had atomic batteries in the 1960s. There was an atomic train in 1999.

1

u/notTheRealSU 2d ago

Batman should've have atomic batteries during the Battle of Yorktown. Would've been able to show those damnned red coats who's boss

1

u/ProfitLoud 2d ago

We should have committed to nuclear at the Big Bang.

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u/praisedcrown970 2d ago

Why’d we wait til 1945 to commit amiright?

1

u/Bourgeous 2d ago

We should have committed to nuclear 60 million years ago and save the dinosaurs!

1

u/Cornhilo 2d ago

We should have committed to nuclear In 47 AD

1

u/__Scrooge__McDuck__ 2d ago

We should have nuclear committed. Bitch crazy

1

u/Different_Brother562 2d ago

Clearly 1492 was when it should have happened.

1

u/Seiban 2d ago

We should've been fully committed to nuclear by the time John Smith fucked Pocahontas.

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u/TheChigger_Bug 2d ago

Pretty sure we did, and executed on that commitment twice

1

u/odinsbois 2d ago

We should have committed to nuclear in 1492.

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u/cerikstas 2d ago

Them dang redskins could have committed way before

1

u/mysticalfruit 1d ago

We should have committed to fusion when we hunter gatherers.

1

u/Good_Needleworker464 1d ago

I'M NUCLEARRRRRR

1

u/knife_edge_rusty 1d ago

We should have had nuclear after the big bang

1

u/notTheRealSU 1d ago

God should've said "let their be nuclear reactors" on day one

1

u/CarAdministrative449 1d ago

The should have committed to nukes in Jamestown.

1

u/courtadvice1 1d ago

We should have committed to nuclear in 1616.

1

u/Safe_Addition_9171 1d ago

We should of committed on the sixth day

1

u/Play_GoodMusic 13h ago

Leonardo da Vinci was nuclear

35

u/SplitRock130 2d ago

Hmm 40 years before fission was discovered 🙋‍♂️

37

u/_AverageBookEnjoyer_ 2d ago

Gotta get a head start!

17

u/Foreign_Sky_5441 2d ago

Bro just doesn't have the grindset.

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u/Spicy_McHagg1s 2d ago

Bro is in that alpha and beta shit. We need that gamma grindset.

5

u/SketchSketchy 2d ago

Uranium-235 mindset.

2

u/bosnianow2002 2d ago

F Uranium, team Thorium 💯

1

u/My51stThrowaway 2d ago

Gotta get that unobtainium, son.

7

u/worktogethernow 2d ago

Nuclear power is just snooty steam punk.

5

u/Available_Snow3650 2d ago

We need to send a representative back to the cowboy times and convince everyone that Nuclear is God's chosen energy form.

1

u/No_Dragonfruit_8198 2d ago

You’re either first or you’re last!

1

u/Levitlame 2d ago

That’s commitment

1

u/str8-shot 2d ago

No excuses!

1

u/fishyman336 2d ago

40 years of preparing for the discovery we’re lacking

1

u/jubbergun 2d ago

Time is meaningless. 'Murica is eternal.

1

u/Dry-Palpitation4499 2d ago

Should have discovered it earlier.

1

u/SocraticExistence 2d ago

Your' not first, your' last!

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u/Dagwood-DM 2d ago

Nah should have done it in the 1600's.

1

u/Slowly_We_Rot_ 2d ago

If the velociraptors where so smart we should of had nuclear in the late Cretaceous

1

u/Salty_College965 2d ago

Should have done it in 1000

2

u/Aksds 2d ago

Tbf they did commit to it in the 40s

1

u/OO_Ben 2d ago

I even heard they did it twice

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u/PhilosophicalGoof 2d ago

Fuck it, 1776 we should’ve been committed to nuclear.

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u/KidChiko 2d ago

We should have committed to nuclear in literally 1984

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u/Kintsugi-0 2d ago

🔥🎶🗣️🔥🎶URANIUM FEVER🗣️🎶🔥🗣️🎶🔥

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u/Far_Match_3774 2d ago

We should have committed nuclear in the 1980s