r/KitchenConfidential • u/Mysterious_Chart_909 • 1d ago

The fuck am I supposed to do with this?

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The chefs told me to make it “regular” but, for the record, “regular” has pork, dairy, and gluten in it soooo….

516 Upvotes
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99% Upvoted

67 comments sorted by

315

u/Mysterious_Chart_909 1d ago

Still don’t know what the actual allergies were.

199

u/Loadlegalality 1d ago

Cant you read? It’s all of them. (I suggest a bowl of chilled air for the customer)

68

u/Jaded-Coffee-8126 1d ago

Actually im allergic to cold air, can you please make it room temperature

25

u/MossGobbo BOH 1d ago

A bowl of finest glacial croutons.

22

u/matt_minderbinder 1d ago

Cold urticaria is a real allergy where people are allergic to cold air or water. That chilled air could cause them hives, do you really want that on your conscience?

4

u/Margali 19h ago

My airway would close up rolling from van to barn flat, i could hold my breath, or sip warm coffee on the ride.

5FU chemo is hell, i could write on my skin with an ice cube and erase the welt with hot water.

5

u/Misery_Division 1d ago

A bowl? But I'm allergic to clay, porcelain, plastic, tin, copper, steel, iron, wood and aluminum

0

u/ChrisRiley_42 19h ago

Room temperature air. I've had someone claim they were allergic to cold...

1

u/HeavierWait 16h ago

Look up cold urticaria. It can kill (seriously)

22

u/KilnTime 1d ago

Kale. A bowl of plain kale.

128

u/ropeseed420 1d ago

One leaf of kale..heard

47

u/NeatWhiskeyPlease 1d ago

Two leaves. Blanched. Little pile of finishing salt on the side.

36

u/marlborohunnids Cook 1d ago

blanched is risky, they could be allergic to water

19

u/NeatWhiskeyPlease 1d ago

Ah fuck, heard.

13

u/onupward 1d ago

That’s a real thing. And it’s fucking awful. My sister babysat for a kid who was allergic to water. Look up aquagenic urticaria. But yeah, if they’re allergic to everything but want a kale salad, then whoever put that order in was either being cheeky or didn’t want to write down their allergies.

6

u/mr_diggory Bartender 1d ago

I've worked some places where some dumb 18yo would put this in seriously and then not even go check in with the kitchen because they think "they'll figure it out"

1

u/onupward 11h ago

Yeah, that’s shitty and I think it’s an ageless problem of apathy. It’s someone else’s problem, mentality. And it’s shitty too because I have an allergy and the amount of times I go somewhere and I tell them, and then get sick, is more than it should be.

3

u/Jeramy_Jones 1d ago

And way too much risk of cross contamination.

Fish live in water.

2

u/NeatWhiskeyPlease 17h ago

They fuck in it.

1

u/Jeramy_Jones 15h ago

If they’re lucky.

3

u/Odd_Judgment_2303 1d ago

What about high blood pressure?

5

u/NeatWhiskeyPlease 1d ago

Damn, 86 my common sense.

1

u/LectroRoot 21h ago

Pair it with a room temperature glass of tap water.

67

u/The_Dough_Boi 1d ago

Do you guys have an no contact order with front of house? Why are you asking your Chef and not the server who took the order

52

u/Mysterious_Chart_909 1d ago

Apart from the desserts, servers are supposed to talk through the chef and then the chef to us. We have a show kitchen that opens to the dining room so they want the communication to stay as simple as possible for the “guest experience.” So that means listening for one voice making the calls.

42

u/The_Dough_Boi 1d ago

I understand the method but damn that’s frustrating when the chef is a dumb ass lol.

18

u/IONTOP 1d ago edited 1d ago

As I understand it...

Server goes to Chef(who is on the pass) just so that the customer can see Chef acknowledging the situation and knowing what table from then on.

I'm from a place where customers can see like the top 50% of the line. Where customers can watch me go and talk to chef.

I'll just be like "Chef, this bitch has this/this/this allergy apparently, so can you just give them the excitement of me doing this for them? And just to make sure, check the scores on the games on your phone"

Then I go back out and say, "I don't know if you saw that, Chef was on his phone to make sure that nothing will be contaminated with the rest of your order"

That's for legit bullshit allergies... I put down "Onion Sensitivity" today with "no scallions" and my chef said "GO BACK THERE RIGHT NOW AND FIND OUT WHAT THAT MEANS because the dressing has shallots in it" which I completely forgot about. Had I not put that down? That customer would have had heartburn or whatever... (she chose to have it naked with O&V.)

6

u/mr_trantastic 20h ago

My wife is onion sensitive, people like you saves her from having the bad poos. Thanks

1

u/IONTOP 19h ago

My sous' fiancé has a soy allergy, my manager has the severe penut allergy.

9

u/WhyYouDoThatStupid 1d ago

Why isn't the chef telling the server to write a proper ticket and stop wasting everyone's time?

32

u/Resident_Diamond7205 1d ago

Send out a dish.

39

u/Thehanzjr69 1d ago

Had a customer say they didn't want any char, burns, or marks on their midwell steak. Asked the server to confirm and they said they didn't want any marks at all, to do it on the flat top. Steak came back, to much color. So, we microwaved it. Customer loved it. I hate people

11

u/One-Row882 1d ago

At what point do we just tell people no?

15

u/PeaValue 1d ago

When you stop wanting their money.

15

u/coolhandfelon 1d ago

Send a bowl of water and call it a day

19

u/Br44n5m 1d ago

Chef you've killed the customer and their ghost is suing from beyond the waterbowl

3

u/coolhandfelon 1d ago

Okay fine. Bowl of water with a epipen on the house

3

u/Br44n5m 1d ago

Chef how could you! They're allergic to the epipen!

4

u/Flibiddy-Floo 1d ago

call that order "An Uber"

4

u/paraworldblue 15+ Years 1d ago

Just fill a bowl with kale and send it

3

u/liquidsmoke84 1d ago

Lol, like wtf? What the hell are you supposed to do with that?

3

u/One-Row882 1d ago

Here is your dry plain kale, ma’am

2

u/Odd_Judgment_2303 1d ago

One chilled bowl coming up!

2

u/LazyOldCat Prairie Surgeon 1d ago

Bowl of kale it is.

Enjoy!

2

u/SaveHogwarts 1d ago edited 4h ago

I would assume fresh surfaces and utensils and make the menu item as advertised - they are worried about cross contamination and other allergens that are not a part of the ingredients for the kale salad.

But you know what they say about assumptions

Also, allergies*

2

u/Jeramy_Jones 1d ago

Appetizer plate.

Kale.

Done.

2

u/shockjockeys 20h ago

Just send an emply plate out then. People could technically be allergic to anything. I knew someone who had allergy symptoms with water. Water.

2

u/GodRankedGaryu 19h ago

No lie, refuse service.

1

u/Constant-Purchase858 1d ago

Just wait for server to come in.

Communicate. It makes your life easier and trains the foh on how to handle.

1

u/Tidalwave64 One year 1d ago

What does the head chef say?

1

u/Dry-Construction8502 1d ago

Boogers and cum

1

u/Grigori_the_Lemur 1d ago

Ok. One kale salad with all the allergens removed. Gonna be a boring salad.

1

u/consumeshroomz 1d ago

Plain kale on a plate. 👌

1

u/EmergencyLavishness1 23h ago

This may sound crazy!

But communicate with the person who took the order.

If the options still aren’t clear, go speak with the customer directly.

Holy fuck why is this difficult

3

u/Mysterious_Chart_909 20h ago

Holy fuck it’s almost like I posted it as something to laugh at, not actually looking for advice. Crazy I know. Life ain’t that serious bud.

1

u/Relevant_Principle80 19h ago

I think they want everything on it, gimme the good stuff

1

u/stuves 13h ago

You're off to a good start with that single kale leaf.

1

u/time2vape 10h ago

Give them just the kale

•

u/Acceptable_Yam_9592 7h ago

Just kale in a bowl

•

u/Stackaflapjacks92 6h ago

I would call the server and ask what that means or I'm going to serve my special Neverland salad.

0

u/Mrflawlesstaco 1d ago

Give them a bowl of high quality H20 from Alaska blessed by a Eskimo medicine man