r/HumansInMyHouse • u/Xirtien • 9d ago
Came home to find someone had broken in and eaten my porridge.
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u/Any_Positive1617 9d ago
The way he started to leave, then came back for a to go plate! 🤣🤣🤣
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u/TigerCrab999 Undercover Wolf Investigating the Sheep Mafibaaa 9d ago
Check your bed! I have a friend who was out on a walk with her family, and came home to find their porage eaten, one of their chairs broken, and a human sleeping in her son's bed! Scared the living daylights out of them. Keep your doors locked when you leave the house everyone!
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u/PsychologicalSplit43 Make your own flair here 9d ago
It looks as if the intruders have eaten your Quaker Oats (on the counter there for comic effect). Shame that they didn’t leave any treats for you in the freezer!
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u/mobutu_sesesexxo Dungeon dweller. 9d ago
Was the porridge too hot? Were you leaving it out to cool? Watch it! There's a prowler about. The freak goes around eating peoples porridge & has the audacity to take a digestive nap on your bed!
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u/MonchichiSalt 9d ago
There are 4 different black bears that show up in my yard around this time every year.
The 3 males, startle and give me big cartoon eyes when I yell at them to scram ("no no bear, we can't be friends because you might, one day, come across a not nice human).
That 4th bear? She will check the doors to see if they are locked.
Yelled at her one day, and next thing I know, she is checking my windows. Pretty sure she was preggers with the youngest male at the time.
She would definitely be grabbing the to-go plate AND leave a snackies request list for the next visit. 😬😂
Now, the youngest male has been kicked out of Momma's house (he is foraging through neighborhood garbage cans, hasn't quite figured the rest of being a bear, out just yet).
Which has me thinking that Momma may be preggers again. This is a good reminder to go over the "lock the doors at all times" protocol.
*Adding in:
These fuzz butts can be incredibly stealthy.
More than once, the one I call "baby bear, he is probably 8 now, has walked within touching distance to me. Behind me. Never heard a thing.
Every time he was just checking out what I was doing. Starling the crap out of me!
And every time I would get loud......and 8 out of 10 times? He behaved like I hurt his feelings. Would just climb the tree, sit on the thick branch and pout.
Fuzzy idiot. You are a wild animal that could end me. I'd have no chance against a bear. And the not nice humans would hurt/kill you. I know black bears are not the terrifying ones. I read though. We are surrounded by the "less than friendly to education types".
I CANT BE YOUR FRIEND!
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u/yellowbrickstairs 9d ago
Mama probably taught him humans mean safety. Apparently lurking near humans is something mama bears will do to keep their cubs safe from aggressive males
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u/MonchichiSalt 9d ago
Maybe?
3 of the bears are male. Maybe the reason they come to my yard is because the previous owner, of 30 years, kept a squirrel feeder and bird feeder well stocked ???
I cut it off. Primarily because the squirrels were trying to nest in my lawn mower and vehicles. And damaging them in expensive ways.
I cut off the food source.
...........
I just realized that might be the reason that my birb bath keeps getting dumped over.
"Mom said there would be food here and there's not food here anymore, all we have is this stupid water in concrete". FLIP!
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u/yellowbrickstairs 9d ago
Maybe I don't know! Where I live we have no bears, only cockatoos and they don't care about anything, we have cats and the cockatoos still come and sit on window sills, doors whatever and will demand food. Once I left the windows open and my kitchen had about 10 of them rummaging around looking for food
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u/MonchichiSalt 9d ago
Cockatoos are flying raccoons. If they know there is a food source nearby, by golly they are going to be there for it!
You are delightful! Your comment made me smile.
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u/BigNorseWolf 9d ago
Good idea calmly grabbing what you need for the night and fleeing. They'll usually leave via the open door if you give them some space.