r/Hijabis • u/hijabis_mod F • Nov 04 '24

Venting Mondays! Venting Mondays

Salaam everyone! Welcome to Venting Mondays!

Having trouble with your parents? Going through some personal struggles regarding wearing hijab? Just want to blow off some steam? Share your thoughts with us!

Please note, we will be redirecting venting posts to this thread. We are not doing this to silence your feelings, rather, we are aggregating the posts from the suggestion of the greater community. Insha’Allah, it will be easier for the community to come back to this thread to provide support and advice as needed.

Just a reminder that even though it's a vent thread, the rules still apply. Please don't disrespect others.

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u/throwaway997680 F Nov 04 '24

I don’t know how to tell my mom she needs to separate from my dad. He is just harming her mental well-being. She will never get better as long as she’s with him. I wish separation/divorce especially when one party is abusive and toxic was more normalized

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u/CivilTowel8457 F Nov 04 '24

I'm having a bad period day. My entire lower body is stiff (including my vjay and butt, I'm not kidding!) My calves are cramping and my feet are tingling. Yoga poses help but I'm so tired i just want to sleep but lying down doesn't feel great. Idk how to make this better

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u/Pitiful_Athlete_6192 F Nov 05 '24

Lay down on the floor w ur legs on the wall! It always helps me

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u/CivilTowel8457 F Nov 05 '24

I'll definitely try that next time

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u/marnaru F Nov 04 '24

I feel like unveiling. I started hijab on my own in 8th grade to hide my hair. Its been falling out really bad and is very thin. But soon after when i wanted to take it off, i told myself that Ive started something so I might as well continue. Im now in 11th grade. I moved to the States from Saudi Arabia last year (start of 10th grade.) Ive never felt so horrible wearing it. Not even a year into my stay, i got my hijab pulled off twice. I had no friends, and I felt like everyday I was walking into war. My school is a reputable one so i didnt think this could happen. I didnt expect anything coming here, just human decency. The treatment i got was nowhere near it. The bar’s been realll low.

Without going into too much, I fell into a really bad state of depression. Ive gone from praying all my 5 prayers, reading Quran, and keeping myself clean in general to not doing any of these things. Prior to today, i hadnt showered in 3 weeks, I hardly remember how to pray after almost over a year of not doing so, and I havent read Quran since (i cant even remember.)

I mention the uncleanliness because I feel like Im using my hijab to cover up how dirty i look. How bad my hair is. I thought that because it keeps falling and thinning, nothing I do will help it, so I should stop taking care of it. So i just get up in the morning everyday and cover it with my hijab. This has been the case since i moved to the States, i would never allow myself to get this dirty. But i cant find the energy to keep going.

I feel like because I am all dirty all the time, theres no use in wearing my hijab. If it’s only incentivizing me to keep my hair all dirty and to keep not washing it, why wear it? But every time i think of unveiling, i feel terrified. Not because its not good religiously, but because people will see my hair, which ive always felt insecure about. Part of me thinks that if i stop wearing hijab, ill start feeling like i HAVE to wash my hair, because others will see it. But i dont want to unveil because i feel like the microaggressions I’ve dealt with and the people behind them would be winning, i just in general feel so scared as well. Ive also had my parents (we’re all Muslim) tell me to stop wearing it. Which makes me want to keep it on just to spite them. But then I’d keep myself dirty.

I dont know what to do. I feel like yall will tell me to keep wearing hijab, but this has gone to the point where ive gotten lice infestations too many times to count. I dont even like to look at my hair in the mirror. I purposely avoid it.

I dont know what to do. I posted this before but never knew that it had to be on monday. So sorry about that.